Tag Archives: 5000 question survey

Finally!

It’s the last one! THE LAST ONE!

4901. Are you a fun lovin criminal?
I’m a boring-enjoying do-gooder.

4902. What do you find yourself encouraging others to try?
Hahaha, probably R.

4903. Mel Brooks or Woody Allen?
Mel Brooks rules.

4904. What do you think of the movie Mystic Pizza?
That sounds familiar, but I’ve never seen it.

4905. Have you ever danced on a table, bar, or other platform?
Indeed.

4906. Where was the most inconvenient place you ever threw up?
When I was little I threw up on a lady during a flight. Not my finest hour.

4907. When was the last time you were up all night?
The night before I flew down to Tucson.

4908. What question will you find the answer to today?
“Will Claudia finally finish this damn survey?”

4909. __ is life. The rest is just details. Fill in the blank.
Knowledge.

4910. What did you think of the movie 10 Things I hate about You?
Eh. Not worth the hype.

4911. Ten Things I hate About You or clueless?
Neither.

4912. What’s the point of robbery when nothing is wrth taking?
Thrill?

4913. What do you do only when you are upset?
We’re not going to get into that.

4914. Can you imagine no love, pride, and deep-fried chicken?
DON’T TAKE MAH CHICKEN!!!

4915. What do you think about flag burning?
I would never personally do it, but I don’t know if it’s something that should be illegal.

4916. Are you cuddley?
Not really.

4917. Who thinks you are offensive?
Hopefully not too many.

4918. Who deserves an appology from you?
Probably someone, but I can’t think of anyone.

4919. Who owes you an apology?
No one I can think of.

4920. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch?
Dragonflies, man. Creepy buggers.

4921. Did you/will you go to the prom?
I did go to the prom. My dress left glitter EVERYWHERE.

4922. Do you have intimacy issues?
Meh.

4923. have you ever wanted to date twins?
I can barely tell two dramatically different people apart. Could you imagine me with twins?
They’d have to have some pretty screwed up genes to want to date me, anyway.

4924. What website should everyone check out?
http://www.playauditorium.com/

4925. Are pigeons flying rats?
Pigeons aren’t so bad.

4926. Are shrimp sea roaches?
Haha, I’ve never heard them referred to as such.

4927. What was the last compliment you received?
I don’t remember.

4928. Do you push people away when you really want them to come closer?
Meh.

4929. Do you ever just stop and listen?
Yes.

4930. Do you lie your way out of things?
I used to.

4931. What only happens once in a lifetime?
LIFE!
Hahaha.
I’m dumb.

4933. Is this life just practice?
Practice for what?

4934. Know of any conspiracy theories you think might be credible?
That Google will take over the world.

4935. What gives you happy shivers?
Doing stats.

4936. Do you have a new attitude?
About what?

4937. Have you ever read at a poetry reading?
Indeed.
your own poem?
Indeed. I won some award thingy and they wanted me to read.

4938. Do you feel more like laughing or crying?
I feel like singing, actually. Time for some Boston!

4939. Who is brilliant?
LEIBNIZ!

4941. Who just needs a little love?
ME! …Please?

4942. Do you prefer when things come with no assembly required, even if they are a bit more expensive?
I suck at manual dexterity, so yes.

4943. Start a sentance with the words what if:
“What if we found happiness?

4944. Is life all fun and games?
Depends on how you look at it.
Should it be?
See above.

4945. What is the highest number you can count to in your head?
Over NINE THOUSAAAND!

4947. What is your favorite flavor of coffee?
Coffee sucks.

4948. Do you ever think about time travel?
Hahahahaha, my NaNo makes me want to kill myself.

4949. What does the number 49 remind you of?
Vancouver. Dammit, Vancouver.

4950. What’s your favorite movie that involves dancing?
Is there dancing in The Brave Little Toaster? I guess they jive with the animals in the forest, eh?

4951. How often do you:
see this survey somewhere on the main page?
Never.
check out other people who are doing this survey?
I did at the beginning.

4952. How many minutes (on average) does it take you to complete one section of this survey that is 50 questions long?
It takes me like five hours ’cause I always get distracted by other oh hey I should go check Tumblr for the eightieth time today.

4953. Multiply that number by 100 to find the aproximate number of minutes you have spent on the entire survey:
Actually, it varies quite a bit now that I think about it.

4956. Do you wish you had that time back?
What’s done is done.

4957. Are you going to miss this survey when it is gone?
Yes, but I’m sure my readers won’t.

4958. What are you going to fill your free time up with when this is over?
More frivolity.

4959. Did you learn anything about yourself by taking this?
That I have no life.

4960. Did you learn anything about me (age, gender, tastes, impression, etc)?
Spelling. It’s an issue for you.

4961. Has doing nothing ever felt so good as when you’re doing this survey?
I can think of better things.

4962. You are about to complete the survey. Are you proud?
WOO!

4963. Name 3 things everyone should know about you:
I love statistics, I love color, and I’m obnoxious.

4964. Have they changed since you started this survey (that was question 2)?
I don’t even know what my first answer was.

4965. What date did you start this survey?
Pfft, like two years ago.
What date is it today?
November something.
How many days is that in all?
Too many for this nonsense.

4966. Did you enjoy the start, middle, or end of the survey more?
The middle wasn’t bad.

4967. Were you still interested by the end or did you just want to finish out of stubborness?
Kinda both.

4968. Do you have a favorite part of the survey?
Man, it’s taken me so long to do this that I can’t remember way back when.

4969. Would you finish the survey if it was upped to 10,000 questions?
Damn straight.

4970. Did you feel like the survey covered enough different topics or did it seem limited?
It was fine.

4971. Did anyone read your survey all the way through?
Doubtful.

4972. In a few minutes, when you finish, will you feel like you’ve accomplished something?
No.

4973. Were you avoiding anything by doing this survey?
Reality.

4974. How would you describe taking this survey to someone who hasn’t taken it?
“Get Spell Check a’goin’.”

4975. Is there any topic or topics that this survey covered to often?
A lot of questions dated it quite severely.

4976. Will you be glad it’s over or bummed that it’s gone?
Both. Though I’m sure my readers are like “THANK GOD”

4977. Give the survey a a rating from one to ten for interestingness (1 is super interesting):
4.

4979. Are all endings really beginings in disguise?
In a way.

4980. Are you ever going to read over your survey answers?
Maybe. Doubtful, though.

4981. If you retook this survey in 1 year would most of your answers stay the same?
Haha, probably.

4982. How did you find this survey to begin with?
Haha, I can’t remember, actually.

4983. what made you decide to take it?
Dude. It’s what I do.

4984. Is this the best survey you’ve ever taken?
Nah.

4985. Could you write 5,000 questions for a survey (I’d take it, if you did)?
Probably. Hell, I have enough experience with surveys to do so.

4986. Name something more fun than filling out this survey:
Obsessing over Leibniz.
Name something filling out this survey was more fun than:
Sleeping.

4987. Should the survey have been more organized, for ex. should each section have had it’s own theme?
I’m always for more organization, yo.

4988. Were the questions
too crazy?
No such thing!
too mundane?
Some of them, yes.
too cryptic?
Some were too dated to be relevant at all anymore.

4989. What will you miss most about this survey?
Using it on days where I have  nothing else ot talk about, haha.

4990. If we met would we likly become friends?
Sure.

4991. Are we friends now?
Well, you know an awful lot about me now, eh?

4992. Are you getting excited?
Yup!

4993. Did you inspire or offer a question in this survey?
Probably somewhere.

4994. Is your heart beat rising?
OH GOD THE ANTICIPATION

4995. Would you go insane if the survey eneded right here, before reaching 5,000?
That would be hilarious yet tragic.

4996. I’ve asked you so many questions. What question would you like to ask me?
What motivated you to write 5,000 questions in survey form?

4997. Is there a subject that you love so much you wish all 5,000 questions had been about it (David Bowie for instance)?
Statistics. Philosophy. Leibniz.

4998. Are you shivering with anticipation?
LIKE ALWAYS!

4999. Are you about to party like we’re at question 4,999?
Hell yeah, get the Red Bull.

5000. Are you still the same person you wre when you began this survey?
We’re never the same.

Congratulations! You’ve officially finished the 5,000 Question Survey!

WOO!

How many blogs would a blogger blog if a blogger blogged her blogs?

801. Have you ever been to poetry.com?
Yup.
Have they offered to publish or honor you?
Of course.
Are you aware that this is a scam?
Indeed.

4802. Is joy more stressful than stress is joyful?
Haha, yeah.

4803. Should history be taught as a series of patriotic myths about heros or should it be taught accurately and truthfully?
Accurately, but I think there’s a level of cultural value to the myths we create.

4805. Do you practice zen driving (just following someone who looks like they know where they’re going and hoping it turns out alright)?
That sounds creepy.

4806. If you saw two monkeys getting it on at the zoo and a child asked you, ‘What’re those 4808. You find a website that will match you up with a lonely soldier who has no family to write to him and you would become his pen pal. Would you participate even if you were personally against the war?
Yeah, that actually seems pretty cool.
If yes, would it be hard for you to keep your political opinions out of the letters?
Probably not.

4809. What kind of email would you like to get everyday?
Any. I like surprises!

4811. Would you ever refer to shakesphere as ‘willie the shake’?
I will now.

4812. When was the last time you talked about your soul?
NO SOULS! MONADS!

4813. Why is the TV show Married By America making a big deal out of how these couples will marry each other ‘sight unseen’ when no one in the compititon is unattractive?
I have no idea, I’ve never seen it.

4814. You have made a friend on the internet. You talk deeply all the time but have never met or even seen pictures of each other. You finally decide to meet. He or she tells you that he or she will be waiting for you in the air port lobby wearing a black dress/suit and a rose. You give no description of yourself. When you get there you see someone wearing black and a rose but they are very very overweight. Do you go over and tell them who you are anyway?
Dude, I would freaking SPRINT over there.

4815. Have you ever sent someone from the internet to a place to meet you but you had no intention of showing up?
Nope.

4816. PETA (animal rights activists) started an ad compaign recently showing pictures from concentration camps and comparing the mistreatment and death of animals to the holocaust. Your reaction?
Oh PETA. I support your message, but you’re so screwed up now that no one takes you seriously.

4817. Who do you feel inferior to?
Everyone.
Who do you feel superior to?
No one.

4819. What do you dislike so much that you could write 4 entries in one day about it?
Microsoft Word’s default font being changed from Times New Roman to Calibri. Yes, that still irritates the crap out of me.

4820. What do you think of notes that have a very good point but are left unsigned?
Nothing wrong with that.

4821. Why do people often say that the arabs just don’t want to farm and industrialize when they invented farming and industry?
People say that?
Doesn’t this show a lack of respect for arab culture?
Sounds like it.

4823. You know that the rising terror alert is all propaganda, right?
Ah, early 2000’s. Bush land.

4824. At what age does dying your hair with manic panic become undignified?
No one’s too old for crazy hair colors.

4826. What do you think of hot pink hoop earings?
Yay!

4827. What has something for everyone?
That black bag the Wizard had in The Wizard of Oz!

4828. What dish would you bring to a pot luck dinner?
Mashed potatoes!

4829. How many people are you friends with that live or have lived in another country?
Quite a few. I chilled in Canada for a few years, remember.

4830. How much would you bet thet there will NOT be another terrorist attack on AMerica this year?
There wasn’t in 2001, was there?

4831. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That’s life, man.

4832. Name a person you seriously dislike because of their actions:
I can’t think of anyone specific.
name a person you seriously like because of their actions:
PETEY!
Would you rather see a really good thing happen to the person you dislike or a really bad thing happen to the person you like?
Good thing to the person I dislike. I wouldn’t want to wish a bad thing on anyone.

4833. Do you know someone who has threatened to commit suicide?
Yes.
attempted sucicde?
Yes.
‘sucessfully’ killed themsleves?
No.

4834. Why do you think the world suicide rate is rising?
It probably is, but that’s probably just a side effect of the world population rising in general.

4835. A woman from New Zealand has offered to let herself by crucified, literally, by G W Bush in exchange for him not going to war. Furthermore, she says he doesn’t have the “courage” to do it. Your reaction?
Dated survey is bringing back bad memories of the Bush years.

4836. Which Mike is more insane, Jackson or Tyson?
They’re both pretty crazy.

4837. “It’s not my business to inject myself into human wars.” — PETA President Ingrid Newkirk, telling The Washington Post why she asked Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat to ensure no more donkeys were used in attacks against Israelis, but would not ask him to intervene for people. Your reaction?
If PETA wants us to treat animals equal to humans (or at least with respect), it seems kind of hypocritical to not treat humans with that same level of respect.

4838. Is today an easy day for you?
Sure.

4839. Tyler Dirden says ‘Let me never be complete.’ Do you agree?
Yes! I always want to be able to be someone more.

4840. What movie did you have to turn away from in horror, disgust, or fear?
“Earthlings.”

4841. What does KMFDM stand for?
Isn’t that a band?

4842. Have you ever met anyone that you can’t help being fond of because they remind you of yourself?
HA. No.

4843. If you met yourself 8 years ago would you more likely beat yourself up or give yourself a hug?
I’d push myself down the stairs.

4844. Do you have a nervous laugh?
I have a dumb laugh regardless of nervousness.

4845. What’s your favorite milkshake flavor?
I don’t like milkshakes.

4846. How long, at the very least, should two people be in a relationship before marriage?
SIX MILLENNIA!

4847. How many years can two people be in a relationship without marrying before you start wondering when they are getting married and why they haven’t married already?
I don’t think marriage is a necessary step after some given interval of time.

4848. What challenges you?
Challenge butter! Haha, I don’t know.

4849. What irritates you?
Inconsiderate walkers.

4850. What bores you?
Economics. Statistics RULES, but econ bores me.

4851. Have you paid your parents back for raising you?
Not in the slightest, unfortunately.

4852. In America public schools are funded with the property taxes from the houses within the school district. Imagine you live in a wealthy area with very good public schools. How would you feel about students from a less wealthy area being bussed into your school district at no extra charge to their parents?
I don’t see a problem with that, I don’t think.

4853. Should a child’s education really depend on how much money their parent’s have?
No.

4854. Would you only feel required to help your own kids get a good education?
Everyone should get the opportunity to get a good education.

4855. Would it benefit you personally if all children had access to a good education?
Probably in some way, yes.

4856. Andrew J. O’Conner, a former public defender from Santa Fe, was arrested in a public library and interrogated by Secret Service agents for five hours on February 13th. His crime? He said “Bush is out of control” on an internet chat room, and was arrested for threatening the President. Your thoughts?
That’s pretty ridiculous, but given the questions in this survey, it was probably written in like 2002 or 2003 when “terrorist” was THE buzzword. So unfortunately I’m not surprised by the story.

4857. Let’s play a drinking game where we drink everytime Bush says ‘axis of evil’ or ‘evil doers’ or ‘weapons of mass destruction’. How many times do you imagine you would have to drink in one hour?
There would be mass death due to alcohol poison.

4858. Do vegans really live longer than meat eaters?
I think the studies are inconclusive.
Do they smell better?
You’re asking the wrong girl.

4859. Do you want a lover you don’t have to love?
God no. I want a lover I love to love.

4860. Do you believe that anyone can get ahead and if they don’t it’s because they are lazy and not trying hard enough?
Nope.

4861. Do you forget to look at the different opportunities available to different people?
I don’t think so.

4862. Do you often look at a subject without looking at why it is the way it is?
I think we all do that quite a lot. Human nature.

4863. Do you read any fan fiction?
I do indeed.
write any?
Teehee.

4864. What did you think of the English patient?
I never saw it.

4866. Have you ever created your own ‘what ___ are you’ quiz?
Yup.

4867. What do you think of the Dixie Chicks?
They’re okay.

4868. Are you looking for love?
Meh.
In all the worng places?
Probably.

4869. What do you feel like complaining about?
Nothing right now.

4870. What do you feel like celebrating?
Statistics!

4871. Can a person speak out against their government and still support their country?
Durh.

4872. Do you believe your government has a file on you somewhere?
Probably.
What kind of stuff do you suppose is in it?
Everything Google’s collected on me. So…everything.

4873. Do you own a $2 bill?
Yes.
Is it lucky?
No. It’s just in my wallet.

4874. Would you rather date someone 3 feet tall or 9 feet tall?
3 feet tall.

4875. What do you think of Americans calling fries and toast fried in egg batter Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast instead of French Fries and French toast?
I think it’s hilarious. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get a Freedom manicure.

4876. Would you rather have a child that is more confident or more curious?
Curious.

4877. If you were going to write a bedtime story for someone you loved what would it be about?
Nakedness and cheesecake. ‘Cause why not?

4878. What is your element?
CARBON! Ha. I’m hilarious.

4879. When are you at a loss for words?
When someone steals my dictionary.

4880. What gets you through the night?
Shutting my brain off and going to sleep.

4881. What is the worst time to be alone?
There’s a certain type of “depressed” I get every once and awhile. It really sucks being alone then.

4882. When are you the most emotionally vulnerable?
When someone steals my dictionary

4883. How would you tell your friend his fly was open in public?
“DUDE your fly’s open!”

4884. Does a good friend tell you you’ve got something in your teeth or pretend not to notice it?
Depends on the situation.

4886. Do you have a good luck charm?
Bah! No need.

4887. What is the essence of You?
DATA!

4888. A word to the wise:
“Tacos.”

4889. Do you photograph well?
Oh god no. I am the least photogenic person on the planet.

4890. Is it a great day to be alive?
Indeed!

4891. What would you consider to be better than sex?
A lot of things.

4892. Some people are just so…
Hateful.

4893. What evil is necessary?
“Evil” is subjective.

4894. What would you do anything for?
My dictionary!

4895. Do famous people have the same right to speak their political veiws as regular people?
Of course.

4896. Are your best years gone by?
Probably.

4897. Are you ordinary?
In some respects.

4898. What are you recovering from?
Grad school. Yes, still.

4899. Did Gilligan ever get off that island?
No idea.

4900. What do you think people think when they first meet you?
“What the hell is that?!”

We’re SOOOOO close!

4701. What is your reaction to beggars and homeless on the streets?
It upsets me that we live in a world where people don’t have shelter.
Are they lazy?
No!
Why?
Homeless people are, in many cases, people who have fallen victim to really crappy circumstances, NOT lazy.

4702. Does pure altruism exist?
Depends on how you define “pure”

4703. Is ‘You like me and I like it all’ an attitude you might have?
No?

4704. Finish the words.
Ch: Chiasm
An: Annul
Ge: Gerund
So: Sonnet
Ne: Nepotism
Bo: Botox
Wi: WiFi
E: Elongate

4705. What’s your favorite science fiction movie?
Can “Tremors” count? “Tremors.”
Make it a double feature. What’s your second favorite?
Anything reviewed by MST3K.

4706. If you had a remote control for people who would you set on mute?
Everyone, but only for short periods.

4707. When have you felt like you were living in the twilight zone?
That time I watched The Twilight Zone

4708. Do you have penis envy?
Hi, Sigmund!
Do you have vagina envy?
Haha, I hope not.

4710. A child is born in Boston, Mass., to parents who were both born in Boston, Mass. The child is not a U.S. citizen. How is this possible?
That child’s born before 1776!

4711. Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
Mt. Everest was the highest mountain on earth regardless of whether we knew about it or not (that is, it has been since tectonic rubbin’ and slidin’ caused it to be so).

4712. If you had to choose between being 3ft. tall or 9ft. tall which would you be?
Three.

4711. If you could know the answer to any 3 questions, what would they be?:
“How did the universe begin?”
“How will the universe end?”
“What does infinite time feel like?”

4712. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Mind!

4713. Would it disturb you much if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods and left to rot? Why?
Wouldn’t bother me. I’d rather be available food to animals/worms/microbes than take up space in a sealed box underground.

4714. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death?
Yes.

4715. Would you be willing to give up all television for the next 5 years if it meant 1,000 starving children in Indonesia would eat and get medical care?
Hell yeah.

4716. Name a close friend of the opposite sex:
Sean!
Imagine they are from another country, visiting yours. Their visa is almost expired and if they get sent back to their country they may never get another visa to leave again. Would you marry them if after two years you could divorce them and they would be allowed to stay in your country?
That would be the most hilarious situation ever.

4717. Do you always call/email in when you take a day off from schol or work?
I don’t take days off.

4718. A fatalist believes that the future is mapped out in a pattern. A causalist believes that every event is tied to a previous event. Neither believes in free will. An indeterminist believes in total free will. Which are you?
Free will is an illusion! The universe is deterministic! Free will is an illusion!

4719. Would you rather have a masters degree in ecconomics or creative writing?
Creative writing.

4718. Do you feel the need to defend the honor of your family and demand respect?
Eh.

4719. What do you think about that no one else thinks about?
Stuff you’ll never know! I’m not telling.

4720. Which of the following best describes you:
A laid back person who enjoys watching sports and playing with computers.
An apathetic person who is open minded and passionate about music.
A fiesty person who lacks an attention span.
Avant garde and over confident.
I am none of these things. Except passionate about music.

4721. Why are so many letters silent in French?
Why pick on French? Why can’t English make up its mind about how to pronounce stuff? Why doesn’t English get cool little letter accents like other languages. HOW DOES SOMEONE WITH PARASIGMATISM EXPLAIN THEIR SPEECH IMPEDIMENT?!

4723. What, besides genetics and besides your environment and experiances, makes you what/who you are?
My BUTT!

4725. What do you find:
impressive: the universe
unimpressive: Kim Kardashian

4726. How easily do you understand Shakesphere?
Fairly easily. Better than I used to.

4729. What’s your favorite girl scout cookie?
Trefoils are BADASS.
Is it made from real girl scouts?
Three per cookie.

4730. How do you open your car door when it freezes shut?
I have no car.

4731. Why is it that 95 percent of the letters in french words are not pronounced?
What’s with the French-bashing?

4732. What are you Dreading?
My hair! Hahaha, hilarity.

4733. When will your ship come in?
When it damn well pleases!

4734. Do you create your art for free?
Yup.

4735. The Pope’s recent message to George Bush is ‘Go into Iraq and you go without God’. What do you think of this quote?
Rock it, Pope!

4736. Have/would you ever taken a botany (plants) course?
That would be cool.

4737. Are you using your own computere or someone else’s to take this survey?
Oh my god the spelling keeps deteriorating.
My own “computer.”

4742. Is it true what they say about Star Trek movies, that only evey other one is worth seeing?
I don’t know, I’ve never seen Star Trek.

4743. Someone once said, ‘Every possible outcome of something takes place in a parallel universe. So there is free will, but your choises only determine which of those parallel universes you live in.’ Your reaction?
I don’t think parallel universes necessitate free will. Maybe in each possible universe all the “choices” within that universe are already determined.

4745. Is there a difference between what is legal and what is ethical?
Sometimes, yes
Should there be?
Ethics are such a grey area. Legality probably shouldn’t be that grey.

4748. When looking at a clear night sky what constallations can you locate?
The Big Dipper’s over our house when we can see it, but that’s about it, haha.

4749. What movie has the worst ending ever?
“Dude, Where’s My Car?”, if by “ending” you mean “whole plot”
The best ending ever?
I really liked the director’s cut ending of “The Butterfly Effect.” I caught the end of the movie on TV a few weeks ago and was like “what is this nonsense?” before realizing that they were televising the edited ending.

4750. Are you feelin’ groovey?
Hell yeah.

4751. Oh the tangled web we weave when:
We pretend we’re spiders.

4752. Do you own anything velvet?
No.

4753. Who have you been friends with the longest?
Technically? Aneel.
How long have you two been friends?
We were in the same preschool class.

4754. Who do you feel like you are in competition with?
Everyone.

4756. What subject are you so familliar with that you could you write an FAQ (frequently asked questions) list about it?
Fit indices used in structural equation modeling
What would one question on that list be?
“Do any of these damn indices work like they’re supposed to?”
What is the answer to that question?
“Nope!”

4757. ‘Don’t use the rules.
They’re not for you – they’re for the fools
and you’re a fool if you don’t know that.
So use the rules you stupid fool’
How do you feel about these Clash lyrics?
Haha. Cute.

4759. Have you read any of Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty books?
No.
If yes, what did you think of them?
Horses freak me out.

4760. Can you do any voices or impressions and if yes, what ones?
I can imitate Barney Rubble surprisingly well. Blame Nick for that discovery.

4761. Guys, is it true that gentlemen prefer blondes? Girls, do blondes really have more fun?
You should ask a blonde.

4762. Do you enjoy sneaking up on people?
No.

4763. Do you often break plans?
I try not to.

4764. “Angry” and “hungry” are two words that end in “gry”. There are three words in the English language. What is the third word? Everyone knows what it means and everyone uses it every day. Look closely and I have already given you the third word. What is it?
Isn’t this a trick? Isn’t it “language”?

4765. Does anyone smoke in your home?
Nope.

4766. Have you ever actually seen a pink elephant?
My life is pink elephant.

4767. The answer to 4764 is “language”. Did you get it?
HA I knew it.

4768. What was the most embaressing or crazy thing you ever dreamed?
I had that dream about Lady Gaga’s underwear that one time.

4769. Are you depraved (marked by corruption or evil; perverted)?
I’m a band geek, of course I’m perverted.

4770. Who or what comes to mind when youhear the words:
the dangerous objects factory?
A scissors factory. Don’t run!
the dude who says dude?
Isn’t that from a movie?
the man in black?
MIB.
the catastrophe involving food?
My attempts at cooking.

4771. In blackjack, do you often double down?
That sounds dirty.

4772. Who’s the big winner?
Not me!

4773. Who do you care more about, your close friend in elementary school that you lost touh with or your first lover?
My old friend Anastasia.

4774. What’s your favorite part of a cat?
Its purr box!

4775. What was on the last cd you burned?
Haha, I can’t remember.

4776. If you wanted to learn a new language would you consider buying a Disney movie in that language to pick up pronunciation?
Sure, why not?
What Disney movie?
Hercules!

4777. Is there a modern plague? What?
Idiocy.

4778. Are your baths and showers so hot that your skin gets red?
Haha, yeah.

4779. When you dry your body after a shower do you dry your parts in the same order each time, almost automatically, or do you dry your prts in a random order each time, thinking about it while you’re doing it?
There’s a time and a place to feel myself up, and it’s not when I’m freezing cold after a shower.

4780. Do you feel like those who are speak a language around you that you can’t understand are making fun of you?
Sometimes.

4781. If you were blindfolded and your love/partner was placed in a line of fifty people could you pick him or her out only by:
I don’t have a “love/partner”, but let’s pretend it’s a certain someone, eh?
touching the face of each person?
Yes
feeling one elbow of each person?
No
smelling the breath of each person?
HA NO
licking the neck of each person?
Possibly
listening to the breathing of each person?
Yes
psychically sensing each person?
Maybe

4782. Close your eyes and turn your head towards the room you are in. Open your eyes. Describe the first object you see without telling what it is:
A cerulean piece of cloth with a big yellow cross on it.

4783. What three questions will you never say NO to?
“Do you love statistics?”
“Want to wear this ostentatious [insert piece of clothing ere]?”
“Would you want to be able to smell?”

4784. Would you like to see an American in Paris?
Is that a movie? I’ve never seen it.

4785. Are you more of a couch or a scratching post?
I’m a Saturday.

4786. What is more important, imagination or knowledge?
Both are important!

4787. Would you consider modern life to be rubbish?
Life is what you make of it.

4788. What’s the most sinful food?
Iniquity O’s! Now frosted with Original Sinnimon.
Yeah, I went there.

4789. Name one thing about yourself that you are excessivly proud of:
The fact that I can spell ‘excessively.” Or my immune system. Can one be excessively proud of one’s immune system?

4790. If you went to Hell (imagining there is one) rank these punishments in order of the one you would most prefer to the one you would least prefer.
being broken on the wheel: 4
being put in freezing water: 1
being force fed rats and snakes: 6
being smothered by brimstone and fire: 2
being dismembered alive: 7
being boiled in oil: 5
being thrown into snake pits: 3

4791. What other windows or websites do you have open on your computer right now?
Oh man. iTunes, MSN Messenger talking to my mom, R, Tinn-R, four Word documents, two IE windows, one with seven tabs, one with three. Party all the time.

4792. What kind of student were you in kindergarten?
I was a good student. I was quiet, I think. I monopolized the blocks to build massive structures.

4793. What misjudgment do many people make about you?
That I’m like twelve years old. I’m 24, dammit!

4794. If you had been named according to your personality what would your name be?
I’d have the same name. “Claudia” means “lame”, you know.

4795. What is made for kids but you love it anyway?
Oh my god, those little motorized mini Jeep things that are made for like five year olds. I ALWAYS WANTED ONE. But they only hold like 80 pounds so now I’m too fat for them. Sad day.

4796. Do you believe that China shuld cease to occupy Tibet?
Yes.

4798. Dedicate a song to someone now.
Okay.
What song?
“Say Goodnight and Go”
To who?
That’s a secret. :)
What line from that song most makes you think about this person?
“And then I’m left in bits, recovering tectonic trembling/You get me every time”

4799. Can you live completely in the moment giving no thought to past or future?
Haha. No.

4800. Can you honestly say that nothing bothers you?
I’m me. Everything bothers me.

This one was missing a lot of questions

4601. What do you think of rappers who talk about raping and killing their mother?
I think that’s a pretty horrible topic for a song.

4602. Are you art?
Aren’t we all?

4603. Do you think that most writers musicians and artists make art or lve art?
That typo could either be “love” or “live.” I’ll say it means “live.” So I think that most live art.
What would you prefer them do?
Live it!

4604. Iraq is destroying its missles and the white house is still not happy. Why not?
Oh, Bush era. How I do not miss you.

4605. Do you find americans to be a very sterile and emotionless people?
Quite the opposite, actually.

4606. What do we talk about when we talk about love?
Love is subjective.

4607. Would you write a song about how horrible your mom is in order to sell more records?
Never.
Why would anyone want to hear that anyway?
Good question.
4608. Do you think that eminem is genuine or doing it all for show (even his mom says it’s all for show)?

I have no idea, but Eminem’s hilarious.
4609. Should juveniles be tried as adults if they commit murder?
In some cases, yes.
4610. Should there be laws to restrict breeding?
Yes.
Should the laws include getting a high score on an iq test?
No.
Should the laws include proving that you can/will be able to provide care and support for the child?/
Yes.
Should the laws include a background check to determine whether you will be a fit parent?
Maybe.

4611. Would you/have you ever committed statutory rape (had sex with someone 17 or younger while you were 18 or older)?
No.

4612. Do you believe that Mcdonald’s should be held responsible for it’s customer’s obesity?
Ha. No.

4613. Did you know that 1/2 of american adults read at an 8th grade level or below (I just saw it on foxnews)?
Did not know that.

What do you think of this?
Doesn’t surprise me.

4614. Do you drink tea with honey?
Nope.

4615. Do bees and wasps terrify you?
Not “terrify,” but I don’t like them.

4616. How do you decide what to say and do when someone puts the spotlight on you?
I usually get too nervous to make any decisions.

4617. Are you more muddy or clean??
Clean.

4618. If consciousness could speak what would it say?
“Go to sleep and let me rest!”

4619. Is Leslie a good name for a man?
I love that name for a dude.

4620. Why do men feel they have the right to look woman up and down?
Do they?

4621. Are you pristine?
Ha. No.

4621. Do you want to blind people with your wet-look lipgloss?
Ew.

4622. How many years is too big of an age difference for a couple?
As long as there isn’t any sort of legal issue, then there is no such thing as “too big” of an age difference in my opinion.

4624. China and France are both opposed to war with Iraq. What do you think of this?
I’m with them.

4627. Who’s the sexiest ghostbuster?
I’ve never seen Ghostbusters.

4628. Are you a humanitarian?
I try to be.

4629. Have you ever seen the Tommy and Pamela Anderson honeymoon sex video?
Nnnnnnnnno.
Do you think it was meant to be private or a publicity stunt?
Who knows, who cares.

4630. Are you a cat expert?
Somewhat.

4631. Go Go Gadget:
BLOG!

4632. What’s your idea of fun?
Doing stats. Walking. Being a spazz.

4633. At what age will you panic about feeling old?
Been there, done that.

4634. It’s you and ___ against the world.
Yourself.

4635. Are you the keymaster or the gatekeeper?
This sounds dirty.

4636. When is the end of the world going to be?
Soon.

4638. Do you yell at the tv when the news disturbs you?
No.

4639. Is society too sick to survive?
We’re getting there.

4640. Have you ever been involved in a ritual?
Ever been to Catholic school?

4641. What the hell do YOU want?????
KNOWLEDGE!

4642. Have you seen finnian’s rainbow?
Nopes.

4643. Weezer’s best album is:
Make Believe
why?
It’s got most of their good songs on it. Beverly Hills, man!

4644. Fast food of choice is for you:
I dig McDonald’s. I’m not going to lie. Their fries are da bomb.

4645. What song is in your head RIGHT NOW!!!??
NOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIING!

4646. Is this a magic monet?
What?
Of course it is.
I’m confused.

4647. A theme song you hate is:
I always found the theme song to The Secret Life of the American Teenager to be obnoxious as hell.

4648. What words can you come up with by anagraming your name?
“Claudia Marie Mahler” anagrams to “A Lame Child Aura.” Take from that what you will.

4649. Are you a magician?
Abra-cadabra, yo.

4650. What kind of waffles suit you best?
This is the most important question ever.

4651. It’s the olden days and your father is going to drive all the way from the big city. He wants to bring something back for you. What do you ask him for?
MOONSHINE!
I have no idea.

4652. Have you ever watched Little House on the Prairie?
Nope.

4653. How did Columbus discover America when people were already living here?
Discovery is relative.

4654. How far can you spit?
Uh…I’ve never measured.

4655. What drinks do you know how to mix?
Uh…I can stir powdered fiber into a water bottle? Hahaha, I know, I suck.

4656. What does the perfect engagement ring look like?
No idea.

4657. How do you feel about arranged marriages?
I’m not a fan of marriage in general, considering the failure rate.

4658. Do you talk to angels?
Not that I’m aware of.

4659. What are you worried bout?
Everything. It’s my nature.

4660. How often do you touch people in conversations?
Very rarely.

4661. Do you read in bed?
I haven’t in a long time.

4662. How many sick days in a row do you take off from school or work?
I’m never sick.

4663. There are three nursery schools. Nursery school one has children sit together around tables. It emphasizes group play. It has building blocks that are very large, so large that it takes two or more children to lift them, in order to teach working together. It is moderately decorated and encourages the imagination by providing less materials for the children. There is one teacher per classroom and the teacher likes to allow the children to work out their own problems.
Nursery school two has many materials for the children and is brightly colored and decorated. There are two teachers per class and the teachers activly intervene between the children. There are different stations (painting, blocks, etc) and the children are encouraged to make choices about what they like to do and don’t like to do.
Nursery school three emphasizes schedualed activities. The children sit in rows and must work alone, relying on themselves. Everything is very organized and structured. The children wear bright clothing, and are taught to memorize stories and songs. If the parents both work, this school offers whole care, which means the child can stay overnight a few days a week.
Which school would you send your (possibly hypothetical) children to?
The third one.

4664. Each of those nursery schools is in a different country. Which one is in the United States?
The second.
Which one is in Japan?
The first.
What country is the last nursery school in?
North Korea? Haha, I don’t know.

4665. What hour is your most creative time of day?
Mid-morning. 9, 10 or so.

4666. Does sleeping feel more satisfying when all of your work is done or when there’s something else you should be doing?
Sleep is for mortals.

4667. Here’s a dollar. Put three songs on the juke box.
Songs cost 33.33 cents each?
Uh…Sleepyhead, the Sleepyhead Cillo remix, and the Sleepyhead Jazzsteppa remix. Because.

4668. Do you refer to teenagers as ‘kids’ yet?
Sometimes.

4669. What is one thing you thought was the end of the world when you were a teenager (or if you are a teenager name something you thought was the end of the world 5 years ago)?
Nothing, really.

4670. Are americans uptight about sex?
Somewhat.
Are you?
Bah. Sex.

4671. What boredgames are in your closet?
We used to have one of those OLD Monopoly board games where all the pieces were actually metal and the houses/hotels were wood. I don’t know if we still have it or not. Our fat cat sat in the cardboard lid and busted it up.

4672. What movie quote sticks out in your mind (don’t tell what movie it’s from, let us guess)?
“Disco is NOT dead! Disco is LIFE!”

4673. What is the weirdest song you’ve Ever found yourself enjoying?

4674. Look in a history book. Who would you fuck?
Dudes, if you have to ask that, you haven’t been paying attention to anything I say.

4675. A man in the reserves is being called off to war. He wants to defend his country but he finds that his 1 year old child needs a heart transplant. In his shoes would you stay and care for your child or go and defend your country?
I would go if the child had a mother/caregiver/someone else to care for the little dude.

4676. Is gone with the wind
an accurate movie:
I’ve never seen the movie.
a good movie:
See above. The book was meh.

4678. Is alcohol the water of life?
Not last time I checked.

4679. Name a friend of the opposite sex:
Sean!
He or she tells you that he or she has always had a crush on you. Your reaction:
Woo!

4680. Name one of your same sex friends:
Maggie!
He or she tells you that he or she is gay. Your reaction:
Woo!
Then he or she tells you he or she has always had a crush on you. Your reaction:
Woo! Though her marriage (her ACTUAL marriage) may interfere with any subsequent action.

4681. What was the difference between your reaction to the same sex and the different sex friend? NOTHING! I need a companion.

4682. Where could you go that would be so incredible you would no longer be able to come back to the life you live here and now?
Antarctia.

4683. What is the main problem you have with yourself?
I’m an idiot.

4684. When did you wish you could disappear?
Often.

4685. Why is it that we call poor-average people crazy and rich people eccentric?
Because we suck.

4686. Is rain on your wedding day a good example of irony?
Only if your name is Alanis.
Can you think of a good example of irony?
Probably, but not right now.

4687. What have you recently changed your mind about?
What to do with the next few years of my life.

4688. What is one thing you won’t allow yourself to have?
An iPhone. Claudia + 24/7 internet access = disaster.

4689. What would you say if Brad Pitt married Rosie O’Donnell?
Cool.
What about if Catherine Zeta Jones married Drew Carrey?
Cool.

4690. Name something that there is no wrong way to do:
Eat a Reese’s.

4691. If you and your partner could choose which of you would carry the baby (yes even the male would be able to carry it) who would your vote be for?
Neither. We’d adopt!

4692. If men could get pregnant would abortion become much more acceptable do you think?
Most likely.

4693. When and where have you felt most comfortable being nude?
Never, nowhere.

4694. What subject do you know the most about?
STATISTICS! Or Leibniz.

4695. What is the longest time you have gone between orgasms?
A lifetime.

4696. What is the least amount of money you would have to have in order to consider yourself rich?
$50,000?

4697. What words have others used to describe you?
Weird, colorful, short, obsessive.

4698. What is the most extreme thing you would do/have done to alter your appearance?
I lobbed off like a foot of my hair a few years ago.
Why did you/would you do it?
Because my hair is an annoying ball of fuzz and disappointment.

4699. What is the least amount of money you would accept to never have sex again?
I’d probably do it for free, but let’s just say $1 million just in case anyone ever offered.

4700. What has been the hardest secret to keep?
HA LIKE I’D TELL YOU NOW!

Keyboard mash lkjdhsh;s;hodg

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNH WE’RE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS INSANITY!

4501. Who do you feel on shaky grounds with?
Earthquakes, those unpredictable fools.

4502. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer?
He’s not too bad.

4503. What movie are you looking forward to?
Bah. Movies.

4504. Hulk Hogan with or without the bandana?
Is this minor detail really important?

4505. Do you more often tell people what you feel or what you think?
What I think.

4506. Have you been to see an opera?
I have indeed. It was awesome.

4507. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty?
My purpose.

4508. Does your heart break and break and live by breaking?
Not that I’m aware of.

4509. Can you tell the difference between what you think and what you feel or do you often get them confused?
No confusion for me.

4510. Do you feel like there are a lot of references in this survey that you are not getting?
God yes. Especially considering it’s like 5 years old.

4511. You are shopping in the Mad Mall for things to add to your room. Of the following list, what 5 things will you buy?
lollipops, lace up boots, bondage gear, bubblegum machine, a miniature orange grove, house plants, Bob Geldof, duct tape, Buzzcocks, poet shirts, Marc Almond, Al Gore, acrylic paints, Snoopy’s dog house, an original andy warhol painting, zippers, orange and pink matching curtains and bed spread, flash, oj simpson, a slurpee maker, some flutes, electric chairs, feather pillows, post it notes, the terminator wax statue, fight club the movie, fight club the book
Some flutes, post it notes, bondage gear, house plants, and Snoopy’s dog house. Fun night indeed.

4512. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of?
drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex
Dreams.

4513. Your preference. David Bowie or Marc Bolan?
BOWIE!

4514. Who’d win in a fight, Morrissey or Robert Smith?
Who?

4515. Earth girls are:
Not too often down to earth.

4516. One of your friends tells you they are going to train to become a cop. your reaction?
Cool. Have fun and be careful.

4517. Would you ever consider working for the government?
Census Bureau! Census Bureau!

4518. What are the best and worst television channels?
H2 is pretty great. I don’t know what the worst channel is ‘cause I don’t watch it, haha.

4519. If you had a magicle pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw?
LEIBNIZ DUH.

4520. Your boots were made for:
Spazzing.

4521. What movie would you like to see a mystery science theater episode about (even if it isn’t a sci fi movie, just one that needs making fun of)?
Tremors. That would be awesome.

4522. What’s the buzz?
The fuzz fuzz fuzz.

4523. The last person you would want to be stranded on a desert island with is:
Someone whose name I won’t mention.

4524. Your partner takes an aeroplane trip. the plane disappears and is never found. How long do you wait for them to return before you begin looking for a new partner?
Quite a long time. Ever seen Cast Away?

4525. Soma animals that mate for life can literally die of grief if their mate is captured or dies. How many humans would do that do you think?
Few.

4526. What would you like to touch?
Teehee.

4527. Does anything you own glow in the dark?
Me.

4528. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn?
Dragon!

4529. Do things just always go right for you?
HA.

4530. What’s the best nick toon?
I was never much of a Nick kid.

4531. Can you make a balloon animal?
Probably.

4532. Would you undress at a nude beach?
That’s what nude beaches are for, yo.

4533. Wherever there’s a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. True or false?
Krabby Patties!

4534. What is today but yesterday’s tommorrow?
It’s tomorrow’s yesterday, too!

4535. Are you more like spongebob who does nothing right but still everything good happens to or like Squidward who tries to do things right and ends up having nothing good happen to him?
I empathize with Squidward, man.

4536. How many glasses of water do you drink each day?
I binge drink water. Some days I don’t drink any. Other days I drink like three gallons.

4537. What is the difference between intelectualism and pretentiosness?
Apparently not spelling ability.

4538. What do you like in a poem, accessability, crypticness or somethin in between?
I’m not a poetry person.

4539. What do you think of William Blake?
I’m not much of a poetry person.

4540. Has learning to spell become obsolete?
In a way, unfortunately.

4541. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with?
Myself.
Why the conflict?
‘Cause I’m dumb.

4543. How many contemporary poets can you name?
Bah. Poetry.

4545. Are you every parent’s wet dream?
Hahahahahahaha.

4546. Everyone starts in the garden of Eden but no one can stay there. Why not?
Damn those apples!

4547. Would you want to join a club that would have you as a member?
Sure.

4548. Greatest black and white film:
I’m not much of a movie person.

4549: Greatest film three hours or longer:
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie longer than three hours.

4550. No means…
Meow (5sf reference)

4551. When you are exposed to the artwork (poetry, painting etc) of a friend, family member or acquaintance how likely are you to criticize it?
Not very. I like to point out the good in those types of things.

4552. Do you mentally reject people?
I try not to.
Before speaking to them?
See above.

4553. Are we already living out 1984?
FEAR GOOGLE! FEEEAAAAAAAR GOOOOOOOOOOGLLLLLLEEE!

4555. Do you like the feeling of a ball point pen being used to draw pictures on your palm?
Not really.

4556. Have you ever been airbrushed?
No. But I could use it. I do not photograph well.

4557. Are you an elitist?
No.
What are you elitist about?
Hopefully nothing.

4558. Are you arrogant?
I don’t think so.

4558. Use the two following words in a sentance: ghandi, ford
Ghandi peacefully purchased a Ford so he could ford the fjord.

4559. Are you treacherous?
I…don’t think so?

4560. Nam the ten bands/artists you are the biggest fan of:
Muse, Coldplay, Lady GaGa, OneRepublic, Deep Forest, The Guggenheim Grotto, Sugar Ray, Dethklok, Apocalyptica, Capitol Steps

4561. Are you jolly?
Ho ho ho!

4563. Would you like to reapolster your furniture in camoflauge?
Uh, not particularly, no.

4564. Would you rather have your own personal live in massuse or a new car?
A new car!

4565. What were you born holding?
Colored pencils.

4566. Big nose, is it ugly or does it give the face character?
I like big noses.

4568. Who has rejected you?
A lot of people. We’ll not get into that.
Who have you rejected?
Not a big fan of the stalkers.

4569. Natural body odor or perfumes and colognes?
Makes no difference to me.

4570. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Puff the Magic Dragon! I can see it now:
Who’s the mythical creature that lives by the sea?
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Who frolics in mists of the fair Honah Lee?
Puff the Magic Dragon!
If you’re a young boy who loves that dragon Puff
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Then bring him some string and some wax and some stuff!
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Puff the Magic Dragon!
Puff theeee…Magic Dragonnnnn!

4571. Who frolics in the autumn mist in a land called honalee?
Oh my god, did I seriously just rewrite the Spongebob song?

4572. Is anything nastier as a snack than fruit roll ups?
Fruit Roll-Ups aren’t *terrible.* There are worse things.

4573. When you hear someone make a joke about something will you later make the same joke to someone else as if you had just thought it up?
No.
What if someone just says something intelligent, would you use what they said later as if you had made it up?
No.

4574. What’s on your pajamas?
Chickens.

4575. Are people nicer in new york or california?
I’ve never been to NY, so I couldn’t tell you.

4576. Ever think about moving to Alaska to live as a hermit?
Not Alaska, but Antarctica.

4577. You are interested in a potential mate who is already attatched. Do you encourage him or her to leave their current catch or try to find someone all alone?
I’d never encourage anyone to leave a happy relationship.

4578. Do you play in the snow?
Snow rulez.

4579. Do you save a snowball in your freezer to hit someone with in the summer time?
Hahaha. I haven’t been in a place that snows in like three years.

4580. What bible storiy would you like to see acted out by animated veggetables?
Oh, like Veggie Tales? We used to watch that all the time in St. Mary’s. We even had Larry and Bob t-shirts.
What vegetable would play Jesus?
This is the most important question in the world.

4581. Will you be ready for the next alien attack?
Uh. Sure.

4582. You can’t make this easy can you?
What did I do?!

4584. Are you the open window maniac?
Haha, what?

4585. Have you ever been a hall monitor?
Nope.
What exactly do hall monitors do anyway?
Monitor halls. Durh.

4586. Would you rather wear an army uniform or a cow costume for halloween?
I wore the same cow costume for Halloween for ten years.

4587. When was the last time you played tag, musical chairs, hide and seek etc?
Way too long ago.

4588. Can you leap frog?
Never tried.

4589. What was the last strong and clear emotion you felt?
STRONG strong? Despair.

4590. Are you more of a disco ball, a candle or a robot?
Can I be a disco robot?

4591. Could any good come out of a nuclear holocaust?
Sure.

4592. Are you an angel in disguise?
Ha. No.

4593. Could you have fun with a jelly fish?
Sure.
for 12 hours?
This section of the survey reeks of Spongebob Squarepants influence.

4594. Who throws the wildest parties?
Ever been to one of my basement orgies?

4595. Do you own an I <3 NY shirt?
Nope.

4596. If you could make a channel that played only one show all day what show would it be?
Metalocalypse.

4597. Are you a rockstar only no one knows it yet?
I’m Bon Jovi, yo.

4598. have you ever been stung by anything?
Yup.
What?
A wasp. On my eyelid when I was like 7. Traumatic.

4599. Who’s autograph have you gotten in the last year?
No one’s.

4600. Are you enjoying this?
Damn straight.

Five more of these, you guys!

FIVE MORE!

4401. Do online relationships actually work?
I don’t know.

4402. Did you know who Nora Jones was before the grammys?
I did indeed.

4403. In Maine school teachers are being told by the board of education that cannot criticize the possible upcomming war in front of students because those kids with military parents were getting upset by it in a few cases. What do you think of this?
“Upcoming war?” Wow, this survey is old. Or clairvoyant. I don’t know where educators would even get the opportunity to criticize something like that if they’re sticking to the regular curriculum, unless they’re drawing analogies or something.

4405. Should a convicted murderer have the same right to be on the organ donor waiting list as anyone else?
I don’t know.

4406. Is there a difference between american rights and human rights? If so what is the difference?
There shouldn’t be, no.

4407. What is the only completely instrumental album ever to be labeled as having explicit lyrics?
I have no idea.

4408. Who would you rather put in a box and mail to abu dabbi, Tipper Gore or Hilary Clinton?
Haha. I don’t know anything at all about Tipper.

4409. What are your top three favorite comic strips?
Get Fuzzy, Piled Higher and Deeper, and xkcd (webcomics totally count)

4410. Can you name anything that sucks more than Creed?
Yes.

4411. Is eminem a genius?
Eh.

4414. Is there a difference between crisps and crackers?
It probably depends on the region of the US. Or world.

4415. If you were going to download three movies that you wouldn’t have paid for but you’ll watch since they’re free what would you download?
Anything Pixar, yo.

4416. If you had a ferret what would you name it?
Parrot. Parrot the Ferret. Confuse the hell out of people.

4417. What do you think of peta?
I agree with what they’re trying to do, but I think they really suck at trying to do it.

4419. Is there a difference between a musical artist and an entertainer?
Entertainers don’t necessarily have to have anything to do with music, so yes.

4420. How would you rank the following people, artist or entertainer?
(1 = best)
Wierd Al: 1
Britney Spears: 4
David Bowie: 3
Eminem: 6
Moby: 2
Marilyn Manson: 9
Tiny Tim: 5
The Monkeys: 7
The Sex Pistols: 8

4421. Why does Polly Pocket no longer fit into your pocket?
That sounds crazy dirty.

4422. Would you eat a cereal called Mud & Bugs?
That sounds awesome.
Yes, there is such a cereal.
MUST OBTAIN!

4423. If you were a mythical creature which one would you be?
Well, my Chinese zodiac sign is a dragon, so I’ll just say dragon.

4424. What do you think of the new pregnant barbie (called happy family barbie)?
I had no idea there was a new pregnant Barbie.

4425. What is one thing you know is a lie?
That I’m funny.

4426. How is your soul today?
I HAVE NO SOUL

4427. Are you into sci fi?
Only GOOD sci fi. Like Verne and Wells.

4428. What’s a ‘poppet’?
Isn’t it just an alternate word/spelling for “puppet”?

4429. How’s the name Shane?
Meh.

4430. What is expected of your gender that you don’t quite live up to?
Makin’ babies.

4431. Koolaid. ifr it’ll dye your heair, try to imagine what it does to your stomach:
Gotta love those food dyes!
Do people still dye their hair with koolaid?
Maggie did!

4433. What would you never do to get attention?
Anything sexual.

4434. Should we try to control nature?
No.

4435. Who is the most powerful villain in the universe?
DR. APATHY!

4436. Invent a superhero to deal with that villain?
CAPTAIN GIVE-A-CRAP!

4437. Who are you desperately missing?
My mom. Sean.

4438. What gives you a feeling of perfection and peace?
Organization.

4439. Are you already whole and complete or does something make you whole and complete?
My passions make me whole and complete.

4440. Do you prefer the word mankind or humankind?
Humankind.

4441. Do you look good in yellow?
I have no idea. I like yellow, though.

4442. What do you want to win?
The lottery?

4444. What question do you really want to know the answer to:
in general?
Of course, the meaning of life.
about yourself?
How much I’m capable of knowing.

4445. The lamest Disney movie ever was:
I haven’t watched much of “new” Disney, but of the old movies I never really liked Sleeping Beauty. I thought it was boring.

4446. One thing you thought you would never miss but do is:
Vancouver. Not grad school, but Vancouver.

4447. In what ways are you a role model?
I’m a hard worker. I seek knowledge. I’m nice.
In what ways are you a bad example?
I have anger issues. I’m not very good at hiding them sometimes.

4448. How is your blood pressure?
On the low side, but not nearly as bad as it was for awhile.

4449. What was your last horrble nightmare about?
That dream in which I had to set off the nuclear bomb to destroy the western half of North America.

4450. Hey you. What do you say?
Yo!

4451. What is your favorite waste of time (BESIDES this survey)?
My life. HA!

4452. How would you like to die?
Early. I have no desire to grow old.

4453. What are three words or phrases used in your area/dialect that many other areas/dialects wouldn’t be familiar with?
“Palouse”, “Coeur d’Alene”, “Spokane.” I’ve heard “Spokane” pronounced spo-CAIN and SPO-kuh-nee in my many travels across North America this past year.

4454. What are the ages of the oldest and youngest person you’ve ever had sex with?
These values do not exist.

4455. What is the wierdest place you have ever woken up?
On the Orgy Couch.
Did you remember how you got there?
;)

4456. How do you feel when your partner is talking to an ex?
I don’t have a “partner.”

4457. Is there an unrequited (unreturned) love in your life?
Always.

4458. What is the most expensive gift you have ever given?
I bought Sean a new laptop, if that counts. He paid me back over time, though, so maybe it doesn’t.
received?
Oh man. Probably Vaio. Maybe Vaio II?

4459. List three traits that might help you to fall madly in love:
1) a kind, nonjudgmental nature
2) an enjoyment for philosophical discussion/debate
3) the ability to turn on and off their maturity switch at a moment’s notice.

4460. Do children like you?
I try to avoid them, so I’m not sure.

4461. If you found your child’s diary would you read it?
Yes, ‘cause I’d want to know if they knew how I ended up with a child.
What if you found the diary of one of your parents?
I’d leave it alone. I’ve had bad experiences reading the journals of my family members.

4462. Have you ever stalked or killed a wild animal?
No. Unless flies count.

4463. True or Fales.
You are moody in the morning:
False.
woman first:
False.
baby corn freaks you out:
Hahahahahaha. False.
Life is fair:
False.

4464. Name something you are now prepared to reveal about yourself that you weren’t ready to talk about in the past?
I’m pretty open about myself. I can’t think of anything new.

4465. Name a talent someone has of which you are jealous:
Not psyching themselves out before a test. I’ve been in school about 300 years now and I still get major test anxiety.

4466. What would you think if you met yourself at a aprty?
“Who’s this loserpalooza?”

4467. What would you most likely complain about in a Hotel?
Temperature control. Hotels always feel either way too hot or way too cold for me.

4468. Agree or disagree.
men need to be treated like children:
Disagree.
it is possible to be in love with more than one person at the same time:
Agree.
you often feel pressured by others:
Agree.
couples should live together before marriage:
Disagree.

4469. If you owned a restraunt what kind of cuisine would you serve?
I’d like to serve really plain, simple food. For people like me who don’t season their food or anything. I know nobody’d come, but that’s what I’d serve.

4470. Three words that describe your ideal day in bed are:
“Not in bed.”

4471. If you had a ticket for a month in paradise where would you go?
Where do you think? Antarctica!

4472. All men like to hear:
“You’re awesome!”
All woman like to hear:
“You’re awesome!”

4473. If you are a woman what is your most masculine or macho trait or ability?
I have MENERGY!

4474. How would you feel attending the wedding of an ex?
Fine.

4475. Fiction or nonfiction.
You can lie with a straight face:
Nonfiction.
You pee in the shower:
Fiction.
you prefer honesty even when it hurts:
Nonfiction.
uncapped toothpaste causes problems:
Nonfiction.

4476. What is the longest lust can last?
FOREVER!

4477. What would you like to experience while blindfolded?
It’s not actually being blindfolded, but I’d really like to experience one of those restaurants where the food is served to you in complete darkness, usually by a blind wait staff. The idea is that losing a sense will help enhance the other four (or three in some of our cases, haha) and make the experience of the food different, if not more intense.

4479. Name three things you have experianced that would shock your parents:
Haha. I don’t know of much I’ve experienced that I haven’t told at least my mom.

4480. The oddest thing you have ever put in your mouth is:
Aneel’s credit card?

4481. Lie or truth.
love is a battlefield:
True.
you watch too much tv:
False.
woman enjoy sex as much as men do:
True?
you are often tired:
False.

4482. What is the craziest thing you’ve done for attention?
Can I just insert my entire senior year of high school here? I used to “entertain” people during lunch by doing crazy ass stuff. Like finding old cardboard tubes and fashioning them into stilts and walking through the men’s bathroom. Or shoving my clarinet case down my pants and running up and down the hall pretending I had gangrene.
Yeah.

4483. Do you believe in using the silent treatment?
I think it’s pretty immature.

4484. Your most embarrassing thought:
We’re not going to talk about that.

4485. Your most prejudiced thought:
I have no idea.

4486. A shameful moment for you:
We’re not going to talk about that either.

4487. The biggest gamble of your life:
Grad school.
(I lost.)

4488. What is your greatest weakness as a friend?
I really suck at getting back to people when they contact me. And answering the phone. Communicating in general.

4489. Yes or No.
complaining is a release:
Yes.
James Bond movies are sexy:
No.
You feel better when you have a tan:
No.

4490. Do you sometimes enjoy being mean?
Not really. It’s draining.

4491. Are you high maintenance?
I try not to be.

4492. Would you rather assume the role of sexual student or teacher?
Haha. Neither.

4493. How many lovers do you consider to be too many?
That calculation’s up to the lovers, not me.

4494. What fortune would you want to find in a fortune cookie?
“Your tenacity and hard work will get you what you want.”
4495. Nothing says lovin’ like:
A little Leibniz in your pants. If it’s not painfully obvious to those just passing by, I love that man.
4496. Have you seen Bowling for Columbine?
No.

4497. Do you overuse the word genius?
No.

4498. Are you proud of the history of your people?
I think “my people” are band geeks.
So yes.

4499. Do you think about world destruction?
Sometimes. I like to think about what will take out the human population.

4500. What object could completely symbolize maleness?
XY chromosomes? (In terms of sex, not gender, of course)
How about famaleness?
XX!

CYBER HYPHER DECIPHER

4301. Suggest a question for the 5,000 question survey:
“Is Leibniz the greatest person EVAR?”
(people can only answer “yes”)

4302. What’s your preferred form of artistic expression (writing, drawing, musicianship, etc…)?
Writing.

4303. Name one thing that’s overrated:
Sex.
Name one thing that’s underrated:
Leibniz.

4304. Are the Beatles overrated?
I don’t think so, no.

4305. Do you smoke? if so, what brand?
No smoky.

4306. Why do you choose to listen to the music you listen to?
Uh…’cause I like it?

4307. Does music these days suck?
Some of it does. But not all of it. In my personal opinion, for example, suck and not suck.

4308. Are personal ads acts of desperation?
No. They’re an act of loneliness. Nothing wrong with that.

4309. Have you ever been/are you a vegetarian?
Nope. Got my reasons for that, too.

4310. Who are the three most important musical artists in your life?
Passion Pit. Just because of Sleepyhead. The day that song is knocked from the “Claudia’s Absolute Favorite Song” pedestal will be a day I find a level of perfection unknown to man.
Coldplay. I’ve liked Coldplay for quite a few years now and in my opinion they’ve been getting better and better. “Paradise” is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard.
Lady Gaga. Because she rules.

4311. do you find it disrespectful when contemporary musicians cover older ones?
Not if they’re not jerks about it, no.
How about when people attribute the writing of these songs to the bands that only covered them?
That can get obnoxious.

4312. Do you believe in arming civilians?
Not really.

4313. Do you find desolation and darkness sometimes beautiful?
Indeed I do.

4314. If you were drafted to fight in Afghanistan, would you willingly and proudly go?
Maybe not proudly, but I’d go.

4316. Isle or window seat?
Window.

4317. What is your favorite Simpsons character?
I always liked Mr. Burns.

4318. Have you ever been to Mexico?
Nope.

4319. Are people that wear glasses more or less attractive?
It depends on the person. Some people look really good with glasses, some don’t.

4320. What sucks more, a Mini Van or SUV?
Dude, a vehicle is  vehicle. I’d take either at this point.

4321. Are the days of writing and mailing letters lost?
Pretty much.

4322. What do you think about right before you go to sleep?
Private stuff.

4323. Do I ever cross your mind – anytime?
Random song lyrics FTW.

4324. Have you ever solved a Rubix Cube?
I’ve never tried.

4325. Why is everyone so emotionally and spiritually dead????
‘Cause we’ve got texting and Facebook and Twitter and smartphones, what more do we need?
Are YOU??
I’ll answer later, I’m busy texting on my smartphone.

4326. What can you feel BURNING UP inside your head?
I THREW A LIGHTED MATCH IN THERE OH GOD

4327. What life experience do you have?
Not much. Haha, I’m boring.

4328. Have you ever hit rock bottom?
Indeed I have.
What was that like for you?
I really don’t feel like reliving it right now.

4329. Are you self destructive?
Very.

4330. Are you very extreme?
In some ways, yes.

4331. Are you completely full or do you feel empty?
I’m full of MENERGY!

4332. Can you turn the whole world inside out?
Physically? Haha, that would be amusing.

4333. Are you potentially a criminal?
Aren’t we all?

4334. Where is your PASSION??
STATISTICS!

4335. Why do we hide our souls?
We don’t have souls.

4336. How many times have you lied today?
I don’t think I have.
Did you just lie to that question?
Not deliberately.

4337. Do you always notice when you are lying?
I don’t know.

4338. Do you think that lieing is so built into our culture that we can’t help it?
“Little” lies, yes.

4339. What are fighting against?
Ignorance. Depression.

4340. Give the following things a rating. One is compltely normal, ten is completely crazy/rebelious.
tattoos: 4
no pircings or tattoos: 1
piercings: 1
pink hair: 3
openly discussing sex: 4
bob marley: 2
green hair: 3
extreme emotion: 5
a tie: 1
spiked bracelets: 2

4341. What’d you think of the grammys?
I “sort of” watched it. That was awhile ago.

4342. When you see the stars and the waves crash in how do you feel?
Full of MENERGY!

4343. What do you think about under a midnight sky?
Stuff that makes me cry. Nighttime is sad time.

4344. Who are ‘they’?
THE MASSES!

4345. Who cares what they think???
Sometimes it matters. Most of the time it doesn’t.

4346. Do you ever let them stop you?
I try not to.

4347. What would you do if there were no limits?
Reach the asymptote. HA MATH JOKE
There are no limits. Go Do it.
Oooh, I’m touching it!

4348. Will you dance with me?
Yay dancing!

4349. Will you drink yourself on the floor with me?
I’m not a drinker. I can fake it, though.

4350. Will you sleep in the streets with me?
That sounds oddly romantic.

4351. Courtney love or Madonna:
musically?
Madonna
personality wise?
Madonna
looks?
Madonna

4352. Do you have a negative attitude towards the opposite sex?
Nope.

4353. Can you imagine anything that would seriously improve the world?
POPULATION CONTROL

4354. Have you read the book Venus in Furs?
Nope.
Did it turn you on?
Wouldn’t know.

4355. Velvet Underground with or without Nico?
I’ve never heard the Velvet Underground.

4356. Is there any similarity between what eminem is doing and what manson is doing?
I…don’t think so?

4357. Who wants to be your dog?
That sounds dirty.

4358. Are you SURE you aren’t pretentious(I’ve been reading SOME surveys that sound pretentious to me)?
I hope I’m not. I don’t think I am.

4359. Can you understand and express subtle and complex ideas?
I would like to think so, yes.

4360. Is writing akin to thinking for you?
Sort of. It offers a way to organize the thinking.

4361. What do you imagine it feels like to be a member of the opposite sex?
It’s probably awesome.

4362. Bowie’s Outside, can you tell who the murderer is?
What?

4363. Are you a bad banana with a greasy black peel?
Ewww.

4364. What do you think of the Atkins diet?
I think it’s pretty dumb.

4365. ‘If it bleeds, I will fuck it.’ How does that make you feel?
Um…uncomfortable.

4366. The greatest shock rocker of all time is:
What’s a shock rocker?

4367. Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, or Red Dragon?
Silence of the Lambs.

4368. If Dr Lechter were to visit you what would you do?
Probably not sprinkle myself with salt and pepper.

4369. Who is your favorite director of movies?
I don’t really classify movies based on their director. Haha, I can actually tell you the composers of more movies than I could directors.

4370. What is Kubrick’s best film?
I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a Kubrick film.

4371. Fill in the blank as if you were speaking. I don’t want anybody else. When I think about ___ I touch myself.
Leibniz. I AM NOT ASHAMED

4372. Are you overly confident and blinded to your own fraults?
DAMN STRAIGHT!
If you were you probably wouldn’t know the extent of it.
LIES!

4373. Do you like:
King Crimson?
Emerson Lake and Palmer?
Tajmahol?
Republic?
Thursday?
I haven’t heard music from a single one of these bands/artists.

4374. Do you write your favorite bands on your clothing?
Haha, no.

4375. Are you wild and crazy?
When I want to be.

4376. Do you party like River Pheonix?
Who?

4377. What is it that you still are hiding?
I’m not telling!

4378. How attractive is a girl is a suit?
Eh. I’ve never been much of a suit person.
How attractive is a guy in a dress?
Dudes in dresses are smexy.

4379. Why is it more acceptable for a girl to dress like a guy than for a guy to dress like a girl?
Because our society is stupid.

4380. Why is being a girl seen as somehow something LESS than being a guy?
See above.

4381. What are three things you value?
Tacos.
Existential angst.
Triangles.

4382. What are three things you normally do that go against those values in some way?
I eat burritos instead.
I enjoy being a mindless plebian sometimes.
I draw circles.

4385. Name three highly specific things you look for in a potential mate?
Like, how specific is specific?
1. They wear a giant badass wig.
2. They invented calculus.
3. Their first name is Gottfried.

4386. Who is the basis for your comparison when choosing a partner?
I don’t have one.

4387. Have you ever given someone multiple orgasms or received them yourself?
Hahaha. No.

4388. The older generations thought the beatles were hip. Now they think today’s music is shocking. What could music evolve into that people might find more shocking ten years from now?
Hahaha, I think about this a lot, actually. I think things like this will cycle back around. Nicki Minaj will be all wholesome and stuff and The Everly Brothers will be smut, smut, nothing but smut!

4389. Do you have any motives for your actions other than anger and lust?
Greed! Don’t forget greed!

4390. Would you be more likely to rape someone or to kill someone?
This question disturbs me.

4391. What have you read by James Baldwin?
I don’t think I’ve read any Baldwin.

4392. Can you read Naked Lunch straight through in one sitting?
What’s Naked Lunch?

4393. Are you a snob?
I don’t think so.

4394. Fill in the blank. ___ is all there is.
Statistics!

4395. Is common sense dead?
No, but it’s on the floor convulsing.

4396. Are you unapproachable?
People think I’m a weirdo, but I don’t know if I’m unapproachable.

4397. Are you the kind of person strangers like to talk to?
I’m the kind of person the weird dude on the bus talks to, or the funky homeless guy talks to, or the sign spinner in front of the Del Taco gives a sign spinning demonstration to.

4398. Do social interactions energize or drain you (in general)?
They make me super anxious, yo.

4399. What’s the longest you have ever gone between sexual encounters?
A lifetime.

4400. Compare John Lennon and Kurt Cobain:
I know nothing about Kurt Cobain.

It’s a blog! Shocker, huh?

We’re almost done with this, guys!

4201. Has your life lacked a miracle?
I don’t believe in miracles. At least until Leibniz magically reincarnates.

4202. Would you shoot a terrorist?
Not, like, randomly. If they were in the middle of terrorizing, then yeah, maybe.

4203. Were you an unlovely child?
In my opinion, yes.

4204. In the recent Michael Jackson documentary was he treated fairly?
I have no idea, I never watched it.

4205. New York City and other places along the East Coast have recently been said to be the next terrorist targets. What do you think about this?
Haven’t they always been targets?

4206. What should the last question in this survey be?
DO YOU FOLKS LIKE COFFEE?!

4207. Are you more likely to think so deeply about things that you forget to take out the garbage OR be wrapped up in your life andforget to think deeply about things?
Depends on how busy I am.

4208. In what ways are you destructive?
I am incredibly good at breaking drinking glasses.

4209. If you’re not with the one you love can you love the one you’re with?
I think people are capable of romantically loving more than one person at a time.

4210. Why is it that when you hang upside down the blood rushes to your head but when you stand up the blood doesn’t rush to your feet?
Because our circulatory system was designed for “standing up” mode.

4211. Do you demand a better future?
It’s my future and I want it NOW!

4212. Does it make you uncomfortable to meet a person with a handicap or deformity (retarded, deaf, lacking a limb, etc.)?
Why would it make me uncomfortable?

4213. What did you think of the movie Vanilla Sky?
Didn’t see it.

4214. What is your favorite thing to dip into fondue?
Teehee. That sounds dirty.

4215. Are you more like Wayne or Garth?
Who?

4216. SNL or Mad TV?
Mad.

4217. Best three REM songs:
I only know “Losing My Religion.”

4218. Name something you do that might be considered eccentric:
HA. Hahaha. Ha.

4219. Are you hard or easy to love?
I have no idea. I think personality-wise I am, look-wise I’m not.

4220. Could you be the next american idol?
HA. Yeah right.

4221. If you were going on american idol what would you:
wear?
What I usually wear. Colorz.
sing?
I’d sing “Journey to the Past” from Disney’s Anastasia. It’s right in my vocal range.

4222. Is Simon Cowell sexy or does he suck?
Blah.

4223. What was the last thing you used a credit card for?
Uh…Walmart stuff?

4224. Do you like back or foot massages more?
Neither. I don’t like massages.

4225. If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow why oh why can’t I?
‘Cause of those damn tornadoes, yo.

4226. Why do teachers always want blue or black ink?
Easiest to read.

4227. What do you keep your change in?
A little gold purse thingy.

4228. Do you read playgirl or playboy for the articles?
Hahaha, remember when we bought that Playboy in Seattle on the band trip and then fawned over the ladies on the bus ride back? Fun times.

4229. Are you old fashioned? In what ways?
Yeah, but some of the things I’m old fashioned about aren’t currently “socially acceptable” by a lot of people, so yeah. Don’t want to talk about them.

4230. If you were going to get a mentor who would your top three choices be (out of everyone alive)?
I have no idea. All the people I’d want as mentors are dead.

4231. Would you rather visit France or Thailand?
France.

4232. You love your partner but they are a slob. They aren’t likely to change. Your thoughts:
Meh. As long as they’re not offended by my cleaning up their messes, no big deal. I actually wouldn’t mind that. It’d be a way to show love.

4233. Is anything brainwashing people?
Yes. Media and crappy entertainment and such.

4234. If you were a sex psitols song which one would you be (some choices in case you aren’t familiar with them: Holiday in the Sun, Bodies, No Feelings, Liar, Problems, Seventeen, Pretty Vacant, New York, E.M.I.)?
I don’t think I’ve ever heard a Sex Pistols song.

4235. Are you more likely to drink moderately and often or drink within an inch of your life but only once in a while?
I’m more likely to not drink at all. Or take like half a day to finish a Guiness.

4236. What scares you most about war?
Uh…the dying part?

4237. You find a man with wings (an angel?) half dead in your back yard. the first thing you do is:
Wasn’t this a short story? I’d try to help heal him if possible.

4238. Why do people go to faith healers when there is so much proof that they are fake?
People do a lot of stupid things, yo.

4239. When someone you care about is really angry with you how do you feel and how do you deal with that feeling?
I get anxious. But that’s pretty much my standard response to everything.

4240. There’s a guy who sometimes get violent with his wife. He will scream ‘I LOVE you!’ While he hurts her. Do you think there could be any love there?
Possibly. Maybe the guy just is expressing love in the way he learned it. Doesn’t excuse the abuse, though.

4242. Is John Malkovitch sexy? Is Billy Corgan?
Is Michael Stipe? Is Moby? Is Sinead O’Connor?
Who are all these people?

4243. Imagine there’s a lepper and he wants to be cured but instead of going away his sores sprout sunflowers? Would that be a miracle? Would that tell you anything about anything?
Best. Question. Ever.

4244. Do you watch people?
Meh.

4245. Do you have anything that doesn’t belong to you?
Probably, but nothing that the owner doesn’t know about.

4246. what is normal?
Certainly not me. Or my awesome friends.

4247. You are given your own private island. What would you name it, and who is allowed to live there with you?
I’d name it Leibniz Land. I’d let Sean live on it after telling him I bought it off of eBay.

4249. If something is wrong in society and you don’t like it but you do nothing about it, in a way aren’t you supporting it?
No, not necessarily.

4250. Do you like Leslie Nielson?
Hell yeah.

4251. If you could make a new toothpaste flavor what would it be?
Red Bull.

4252, Have you ever called the police or the fire department?
Nope.

4255. You are on the weakest link with these contestants: a monkey, Simon Coswell, Hayden Christensen, Cher, a guy in a teenage mutant ninja turtle costume and GW Bush. Who do you vote off as the weakest link and why?
HA, I remember that show! Holy crap. I’d vote off Bush…do I really need a reason?

4256. Do you like:
mint skittles?
No.
mint ice cream?
With chocolate chips in it, yes.
junior mints?
No.

4257. Does protesting/demonstrating really have any effect?
Yes.

4259. Have you ever wanted to be with someone who was off limits?
Indeed.

4260. Have you ever wanted someone so badly that you would kiss your hand imagining it was them?
We used to do this in elementary school during church. ‘Cause, you know, we were taking the religion thing so seriously.

4261. Are there any situations when cheating on someone is okay?
No.

4262. When you feel empty inside what do you fill yourself up with?
z-scores.

4263. Would you rather be loved or desired?
Loved.

4264. When you remember something do you remember yourself to be more or less graceful/positive/smooth than you actually were?
Probably more. Don’t we all?

4265. How can you tell the days of the week apart without using a calander?
Use a watch! Hahaha. I’m funny.

4267. What 3 things about you have shaped your life the most?
My screwed up approach to school, my screwed up approach to relationships, and my awesome parents.

4268. Is your mind awake?
It’s getting there. I hope.
Is your soul?
We don’t have souls.
Were they always?
Haha. Nope.
If not, can you remember a moment or a few moments that helped you wake up?
I like to think that spring semester 2007 was my “Age of Enlightenment.” I remember rehearsing O Magnum Mysterium in the admin building and being totally overwhelmed with feeling like my mind had “opened” to the universe. It was pretty freaking amazing.

4269. Have you ever misperceived what was going on only to discover it when it was too late?
Story of my life, man.

4270. Do you understand the human heart?
The fundamentals, yes.
Oh, ha, you probably mean “heart” as in “love”, huh?
Then no.

4271. How important is your weight?
It…bothers me. That’s all I’m going to say.
How important is your partner’s weight?
As long as they’re not too unhealthy due to their weight, it doesn’t matter at all.

4272. What color is the wind?
Multicolored, according to Pocahontas.

4273. Do you believe children or adults know more?
Depends on the subject.

4274. Do you believe you are crazy?
Aren’t we all?

4275. Did you predict the ending to Joe Millionaire?
The what?
Is there something you care about less than you care about Joe Millionaire?
Huh?

4276. Snow blower or shovel?
Shovel.

4277. List everything you ate in the last 24 hours?
Spaghetti with parmesan, some M&Ms, an egg. I haven’t had dinner yet tonight.

4278. Have you ever plagiarized?
Nope.

4279. Who specifically annoys you?
No individual person.

4280. What is your favorite blanket like?
I don’t have a favorite blanket anymore. My funky airplane-covered sleeping bag got shredded in the like seven moves I’ve had over the past few years, so we left it in the dumpster in Tucson.

4281. How do you feel about teachers coming on to their students?
It’s not appropriate while they’re still in the teacher-student relationship.
Students coming on to their teachers?
Same as above.

4282. In what ways do you keep yourself entertained?
Give my data, give me R. Perpetual entertainment.

4283. Entertainers (musicians, sports players) are the highest paid people in america. Why are we so obsessed with being entertained?
Because we seem to have lost the ability to entertain ourselves.

4284. Do you want a perfect body?
That’d be cool. But whose definition of perfection?

4285. Do you want a perfect soul?
I don’t believe we have souls.

4286. Which do you want more?
By option elimination, perfect body.

4287. Do you want people to notice when you’re not around?
Bah. I’m not that special.

4288. Are you more of a creep, a wierdo or special?
I’ve been told I’m quite weird.

4289. Who wrote the bible?
Hahaha, I almost wrote “Radiohead.”

4290. Who wrote the book of love?
Fabio.

4291. Who put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp?
Fabio.
4292. Who rocks the party that rocks the party?
Fabio’s cousin.

4293. If you could pick 5 things to study with no limits what 5 things would you pick?
Oh my. Statistics, math, philosophy, music, art.

4294. Do you study any of them on your own?
Statistics and philosophy, yes.

4295. What’s more important, learning or getting the hell out?
Learning, yo.

4296. What is your favorite highlighter color?
Orange.

4297. Give everyone some advice:
Some bugs that live in sink drains are impervious to bleach.

4298. Are you practically perfect in every way?
Last time I checked, I wasn’t Mary Poppins.

4299. Are you nasty and tricksy?
I don’t think so…

4300. Where is the precious?
The who?

Sisyphus called…he wants his stone back

We’re almost done, readers! Soon, no more obnoxious posts like this. Until I find the next super long survey.

4101. What is the most difficult thing you have ever overcome?
The last two years.

4102. What is more imporatnt, how much someone has achieved or how far they have come to achieve it?
Both.

4103. Have you ever had anything published?
Indeed I have. A couple poems. My thesis.

4104. Of the following, what kind of person would you be more attracted to (1 is highest, 3 lowest):
less good looking than you?
2
about as good looking as you?
1
more good looking than you?
3
how goodlooking are you?
Can there be negative values for this?

4105. less intelligent than you?
3
about as intelligent as you?
2
more intelligent than you?
1
how intelligent are you?
I’d like to think I’m intelligent, but who knows, eh?

4106. has less money than you?
3 (having less money than me would mean they’d have like $4)
has about as much money as you?
1
has more money than you?
2
How wealthy are you?
HA. Not very.

4107. less wild and crazy than you?
3
about as wild and crazy as you?
1
more wild and crazy than you?
2
How wild and crazy are you?
It depends. Have I had a Red Bull?

4108. Is your bathroom shelf stacked with numorous bottles of lotions and creams?
Nope. Just eyeshadow and nail polish, haha.

4109. How do you maintain your body?
Broccoli. Stationary bike.
4110. Did you ever imagine that objects have a life of their own?
They DO. In a way.

4111. What is it like to be an object, do ya think?
Who knows? I think humans and objects are a lot more similar than we generally think.

4112. Do stones, rocks, trees, lamps, water, couches, etc all have some sort of life energy running through them?
In a way, yeah.

4113. Would you ever consider getting romantically involved with:
your teacher?
I don’t have a teacher right now.
your doctor?
I don’t have a doctor right now either, actually.

4114. If ____ asked me for sex, I could NOT refuse. Fill in the blank as if you were speaking.
You know what’s coming…LEIBNIZ! Too bad he’s dead.

4115. What is ‘nothing’?
LIES! There is always something.

4116. Would you rather read about how to get better abs or about how thousands of people across the globe are marching for peace?
I’d read the ab book first, then exercise my abs while I read about the peace march.

4117. Should america make love, not war?
America and Canada should get together and be a cute little North American couple. Or both should get together with Mexico and have a cute little North American orgy.

4118. If you could nominate anyone for sainthood, who would you and why?
I have no idea.

4119. Can you name one person who is purely good?
No such thing.

4120. How about one person who is completely evil?
No such thing.

4121. Is there a book inside of you?
I EAT PAPERBACKS FOR BREAKFAST
If yes, what about?
I’m still working on fixing up Prime.

4122. Do you call people more often or get calls more often?
I get calls more often. The phone terrifies me.

4123. What do you wake up to?
My phone alarm. And dread.

4124. If you could get a free subscription to any magazine what would it be?
Significane (it’s a stats magazine)

4125. When you wrote letters to santa did you ever ask for stuff that didn’t exist?
I honestly don’t think I ever wrote to Santa.

4126. Make up a new slogan for McDonald’s:
Creepy clowns and French fries! YAY!

4127. What kind of people do you like to be associated with (buisness, writers, dark, antisocial, spiritual, happy)?
Weird silly band people!

4128. How are you like a toaster?
I’m brave.

4129. Do you believe we are really in the matrix?
Bah.

4130. There are 2 dolls, a gw Bush doll and a Sadam Hussein doll. You can only afford one. Which do you buy?
Bush.

4132. Finish the sentances:
I’m speed racer and I drive real fast, I drive real fast:
But I wear no pants.
I’m a big bird and I like to steal, I like to steal and I like to:
Flap my friends.
I’m a barbie doll and I’ve got grace, I’ve got grace but:
I have a plastic face.

4133. What do you think aliens would think of life on earth?
“What in the hell is all that insanity down there?”

4134. What image do you get from the words ‘urban decay’?
HOUSES ROTTING OMFG

4135. Have a ___ day. Fill in the blank with anything but ‘nice’
Productive.

4136. Do you own anything with a:
southpark character or logo on it?
No.
greatful dead bear or logo on it?
No.

4137. What is your impression of beatniks?
I don’t really have one.

4138. What was the last thing you ordered (or watched) on pay-per-view?
I’ve never ordered anything on pay-per-view.

4139. Nails, long or short?
Short.

4140. Do you prefer touch lamps, the clapper, or the old-fashioned light switch?
Haha, we had a touch lamp. I had way too much fun with it.

4141. Can you ‘berry talk’?
What on earth is berry talking?

4142. Do you like vines on old buildings?
I don’t really have an opinion on them.
How about grafitti on old buildings?
I’m not a graffiti fan.

4144. Have you ever owned those magic markers that could change colors?
Oh my god, that was like my entire first grade year.

4145. It’s not easy bein’ ____. Fill in the blank as if you were speaking.
A spazz.

4146. Is there a song that has been stuck in your head since you were a child?
I really think that I heard Holst’s “Jupiter” when I was really young and kind of internalized it, ‘cause when I heard it in high school I was like, “holy crap, I KNOW this song!”

4147. Do you own anything plaid?
Nope.

4148. Do you recycle?
Indeed!

4149. What is your strongest point?
My drive.

4150. What is your weakest point?
Myself.
What are you doing to work on that weakness?
A lot.

4152. A baby is born witha terminal disese. She will suffer agonizing pain for 5 years and then die. The mother gives the baby a sleeping medicine and it dies. Mom claims it was a mercy killing. Prosecution claims it was murder. You are on the jury. What is your vote?
Not guilty.

4153. Why doesn’t poetry say outright what it means?
Because that’s what art is, yo.

4154. Read this sentance:
As time flies along, we sit and dream.
Now delete it.
Done?
Now write any sentance you want there instead.

4155. What is your opinion of Orson Welles?
I like him.

4156. If you were a lotion, what would your label say?
Ooh la la! Rub me places. ;)

4157. What side is your good side?
My butt. Yes, it’s a side.

4158. Rewrite that sentance you deleted up there as best you can. Try to get the idea across even if you don’t get the exact words right:
Hahaha, I can’t even remember it at all now. I’ve been answering these questions in spurts over the past five days.

4159. What is your favorite work by Edgar Allen Poe?
I like The Raven. Or The Telltale Heart.

4160. Of the following short stories which would you be most likly to read (based on titles alone if you aren’t familiar with them, 1 is most likely 9 is least likely)??
Young Goodman Brown
4
The Cask of Amontillado
9
The Story of an Hour
3
The Metemorphasis
2
Barn Burning
5
The Lottery
1
A & P
7
The Sandkings
6
Minority Report
8

4163. Who is your favorite star wars character?
C-3PO, man. He’s awesome.

4164. Why haven’t we begun to colonize the moon?
We probably will at some point. It’s got helium, after all, and we’re running out.

4165. What did you think of the shuttle columbia blowing up?
I remember it happened the day before my birthday, but I don’t remember much apart from that.

4166. What do you remember about the challenger?
Nothing. I wasn’t born yet.

4167. Is the force with you?
Sure.

4168. What is your favorite spoof movie?
Does Spaceballs count?

4169. Would you ever own a(n):
human slave?
No.
robotic slave (where the robot is consiouss of itself)?
Like Bicentennial Man? That was a good movie.
trained ape slave?
Ew. No.
human clone slave?
No.

4170. What can no one stop you from doing?
Obsessing.

4171. Who would you be bored without?
Leibniz.

4172. What is your only hope?
Obi-Wan Kenobi!

4173. Would you rather visit france or puerto rico and why?
France; I would love to see the culture there and the Eiffel Tower.

4174. Have you ever corrupted someone or dragged them down?
Probably. I’m bad.

4176. Does any part of your body get in yyour way?
My big fat butt. My big fat everything.

4177. Leia or Amidala?
Leia.

4178. Do you trust your feelings?
What are these…“feelings”?

4179. Do you feel empty or passionate most of the time?
Passionate.

4180. What was your moment of triumph?
Those of you who know me know what it is. I think.

4182. In what ways are you a rebel?
I wear weird stuff? Though I don’t do so to rebel.

4183. In what ways are you a conformist?
I exist within society without much protest.

4184. Do you likie movie endings that leave you wondering or tie upp all the loose ends?
Meh. I’m not much of a movie person.

4185. What movie has the best soundtrack?
Apollo 13.

4186. What adventure would you like to undertake?
Goin’ to Antarctica!!

4187. Do you tip gas station attendants when you get full service?
I’ve never gotten full service. God, that sounds dirty.

4188. Do you own any souvineers; what from where?
My dad used to get me a shirt from every different place he went (so I had a shirt from every corner of the world, haha). But I’m picky about my shirts, so he quit.

4189. Does your age make you embarrassed?
Meh. I’m old.

4190. Are you the strong and silent type?
Depends. I can be pathetic and loud, too.

4191. What do your shoes look like?
They’re FiveFingers! They’re the most comfortable shoes ever. I recommend them.

4192. Do you ever admire yourself while naked?
I cover my eyes when I pass the mirror.

4193. If you could make someone’s clothes magically disappear who would you do it to and where?
I would have killed for this power a few summers ago, man.

4194. Who is more foolish, the fool or the fool that follows the first fool?
The THIRD fool following the second fool.

4195. A good website for the bored (not a diary one):
http://www.kokogiak.com/logolepsy/

4196. Did people REALLY land on the moon?
To reiterate a recent xkcd: if NASA faked the moon landings, what made them STOP faking them?

4197. Would you rather live for a month in India or Alaska?
Alaska.

4198. What is one country you would NEVER visit and why?
I have no idea. I don’t think I’ll get to go to many places in life, so I’m not going to say I wouldn’t visit any particular country.

4199. Who is the busiest person you can think of?
My dad’s pretty busy, especially now that school’s about to start up again.

4200. What is the average length of your relationships?
5.25 months.

I ATE EIGHT EYES

4001. How would you rate your sex drive?
It’s under NEGATIVE NINE THOUSAND!!

4002. You are sitting alone with a stack of videos and a vcr. Of the following which are you most likely to put on (1 is most, 10 is least)
(lawl, “vcr”)
The good the bad and the ugly,
6
dracula,
5
slc punk,
9
twin peaks fire walk with me,
7
jerry springer too hot for tv,
10
singing in the rain,
4
flash gordon,
3
the matrix,
2
blade runner,
8
the muppet movie
1

4003. Are you more likley to get or send random instant messages?
Get.

4004. If you were writing an ad telling people to come to your town what would you say about it?
Tucson: like living on the surface of the sun, but without the hazards of space travel!

4005. What part of your body can you not stand to get an itch on?
The inside of my ear.

4006. How many people do you suppose have stolen that System of a Down album called ‘steal this album’?
Haha, I saw a used copy of that at Hasting’s once with a sticker on it that read “stealing this album will result in appropriate prosecution.”

4008. would you rather have a poster of john lennon or a cute fuzzy black cat?
KITTY!

4009. make a public service announcement:
The Oxford comma’s totally hip now. Use it.

4010. What makes you feel the need to escape?
Not having plans.

4011. You and your signifigant other, crush, interest etc…who is the ernie and who is the bert?
I don’t really have an “interest” right now, but I think we’d both be Berts. I don’t think I’d usually have an interest in an Ernie.

4012. When was the last time you did something and later asked yourself ‘did I do the right thing?’?
HA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHA…
Ha…
Oh, I’m sad now.

4013. What do you find it hard to say goodbye to?
The past.

4014. What is your fantasy valentine’s day like?
I’m having fun and I’m not alone. That’s about as far as I’ve fantasized for Valentine’s Day.

4015. If you had to have a color for a name, what color would it be?
RADICAL CARROT. Oh my god. I might have to go change my name like right now.

4016. Should preference be given to minority students during the college admission process?
In an ideal world, it wouldn’t HAVE to be.

4017. Sweet wine, fresh crisp appples, bagles with creme cheese and lox…what is the most incredibly luxurious food?
German chocolate cake is pretty far up there for me.

4018. Is there really anything to fear in communism?
There’s something to fear in everything.

4019. Best sesame street character:
Grover’s a BAMF.
most annoying sesame street character:
I never liked Elmo much.

4020. feast or famine?
Famine.

4021. Write a poem right here in five minutes or less:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Datum
means one
Data
means two.
(Or more.)
Sorry, that was totally lame.

4022. Do you stay and help clean up after a party?
I would, yes. I haven’t been to a party in like 4,000 years.
4024. What are you the prince or princess of?
Anxiety.

4025. Some people think that Christmas should be taken off of public school calanders because it is politically incorrect. What aould you say to this?
Pfft. People are way too uptight about these kinds of things.

4026. Would you rather go to an excorcism or a step aerobics class?
Hahahahahaha. I’ll take aerobics, thanks.

4027. Do you believe in spells and curses?
Nope.

4028. What tv show does your family watch together?
My mom and I watch DVR’ed Daily Show and Colbert Report every once and awhile.

4029. What’s on your calander this year?
A bunch of weeks. A couple months. 181 more days to screw up.

4030. Is anything ruining your life?
Yes.
What?
Myself.

4031. How was life meant to be lived?
Happily.

4032. What is your usual breakfast?
A scrambled egg with lots of pepper.

4033. If you had kids, would you worry about what they did online?
Probably. I think I’d be the most anxiety-riddled parent on the planet. Either that or I’d let my little dude do whatever and assume he’s got some common sense.

4034. Will you be maxin and relaxin this weekend?
What does that even mean?
If not, what are your weekened plans?
Wait! I need to know what “maxin’ and relaxin’” is so that I can tell you if I plan to do otherwise!

4035. Who has the most interesting story to tell:
someone who used to fly to asia as a drug trader
the ceo of Nike
a nyc homeless person
a preacher’s wife
Probably the homeless person.

4036. What do you have a bad feeling about?
The rest of my life.

4037. Do you have a lot to say?
About some things, yes.

4038. If a smallpox vaccine was offered to you, would you take it?
Eh.

4039. Would you ever work at a kissing booth?
No one would pay to kiss me.
how about a dunking booth?
That’d be fun.

4040. There is a woman who paints by stripping naked, rolling around in paint and then pressing her body against the canvas. What do you think of her art?
That’s…interesting.

4041. Have you ever bought something you saw on tv?
Haven’t we all?

4043. Have you gone mental?
Probably.

4044. What do you think of jews for jesus?
Haha, sounds interesting.

4045. Has anyone ever tried to ‘save’ you?
Yes. Obviously it didn’t work.

4046. Quick! picture santa clause in your head…
Okay.
Was he black or white when you pictured him?
Haha, it was actually Santa Bot from Futurama. So he was grey.

4047. Would you ever buy a black santa clause?
Sure. Good luck finding one in AZ, though.

4048. or take your kids to vist a black santa clause?
Sure.
why or why not?
Seriously?

4049. What do you smell like?
Good question.

4050. What kind of soup do you eat?
I’m not much of a soup person.

4051. What have you heard about the next Harry Potter book?
Haha. Old survey.
Will you pre-order it?
I’m not a Harry Potter fan.

4052. Would you rather go out or stay in?
Stay in.

4053. What’s your favorite song to hear on halloween?
I’ve always liked The Monster Mash.

4054. What song makes you feel all tingly like you want to laugh and scream and cry?
Sleepyhead!!

4055. If you were starting a website that was not about you, what Would it be about?
Statistics.

4056. Do you ever take the long way just for fun?
Yup!

4057. ‘..and god said let there be ____and there I was.’
Fill in the blank, as if if you were talking about yourself.
“Rainbows!”

4058. What do you think of when you hear the word ‘mill’?
Windmills.

4059. What do you think of when you hear the name:
weird al?
Childhood
bob dylan?
Mumbling
michael jackson?
Moonwalking
henry rollins?
Who?
billy idol?
White Wedding.
gary numan?
Cars.
will smith?
Switch.
paul mcartney?
Apples.
alice cooper?
Makeup.
J Lo?
Butts

4060. What is one social disaster you have had?
My life?

4061. Can you moonwalk?
I don’t think I’ve ever tried.

4062. If a presidential candidate went on late night tv, picked up a guitar and rocked out on it and could really play, would that influence you to like/respect them more?
I’d be impressed with them, but if I didn’t agree with them politically I still would vote for my guy (even if he was totally musically inept).

4064. If it was possible for people to instantly change from one sex to another, would everyone be straight in the end?
HA. No.
Would you change your sex?
I’ve got Claude. I don’t need to.

4065. Finish the sentance: nobody broke your heart, if you’re alone…
It ain’t nobody’s fault but your own (had to make it rhyme. Sorry.)

4066. Would you rather have a best friend OR a boyfriend/girlfriend on a Friday night?
Neither. I like to be alone on Friday nights.

4067. Would a woman rather be complimented about her intelligence OR her looks?
*I* would rather be complimented on my intelligence.

4068. Do you tend to think of the right thing to say after the moment is gone?
Sometimes.

4069. Would you rather a potential mate have nice hair OR nice legs?
Hahaha. Hair.

4070. Okay,…. nice hair OR a nice rack/bulge?
Hair.

4071. What is one thing you thought you would enjoy, but actually didn’t?
GRAD SCHOOL OH MY GOD

4072. Be in the spotlight OR in the shadows?
Spotlight.

4073. What is your favorite part of the newspaper?
Comics!

4074. What in your life has been an “acquired taste” for you?
Sanity.

4075. Do you find sunlight makes you happier?
It makes me forget the doldrums of Vancouver where I spent 2 miserable years of my life. So yes.

4076. If you could conquer one fear, it would be…?
My fear of being inadequate.

4077. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen someone do or heard anyone has done?
That’s a very hard question. Have you SEEN the internet?

4078. How do you feel about the fact that J-Lo earns 37 million dollars a year?
That’s disturbing.
Do you buy anything that contributes to her salary?
I don’t think so.
Is J Lo the ultimate ideal of what a woman should be?
Maybe to some people.

4080. Worst fashion mistake EVER:
Haha. Me.

4082. Is there a musical performer more ridiculous than Avril Lavigne (I don’t think there is)?
Hey, Avril’s not so bad.

4083. What is the best:
daytime talk show?
I have no idea.
late night talk show?
Again, no idea.

4084. Are you afraid of total freedom?
I don’t know.

4085. Do you live in an invisible prison?
How would I know if I did? I haven’t run into any of the bars yet.

4086. Who do you feel distant from, that you used to be close to?
Pretty much all my friends. And not just physically.

4087. Rate the following song lyrics (1 = you like it the most, 9 = you like it the least).
Maybe you shouldn’t care/throw away those dreams/& dare
1
Eden lets me in/I find the seeds of love/And climb upon the highwire/I kiss and tell all my fears
7
I know the pressure is on/In a race for the life of endless love/If it seems to much/Remember/All these things are endless
5
I see the wind, oh I see the trees/Everything is clear in my heart/I see the clouds, oh I see the sky/Everything is clear in our world
6
Inflatable doll/Lover ungrateful/I blew up your body/But you blew my mind
5
Well I jumped into the river/too many times to make it home/I’m out here on my own/drifting all alone/and if it doesn’t show/ give it time/to read between the lines
4
The very thought of you makes/My heart sing/Like an April breeze/On the wings of spring/And you appear in all your splendor/My one and only love
8
now I’ve had lots of girls/most of them from other worlds/but lookin through the galaxey/the valley girls are the ones for me
9
I’m the dandy highwayman so sick of easy fashion/the clumsy boots, peek-a-boo roots that people think so dashing/so what’s the point of robbery when nothing is worth taking?/it’s kind of tough to tell a scruff the big mistake he’s making
4

4088. Can you name any of the nine bands/songs above?
GUNS N’ ROSES…the last one’s Atom Ant…that’s about all I know.

4089. What would your reaction be if a total stranger called to say s/he loved you and told you that you were to pass the message on to others in a telephone call you make yourself?
I would run.

4090. Would you like to take a journey to jupiter?
Sure!

4091. Can you crack nuts in your bare hands?
Teehee.

4092. Do you take walks at night?
I used to in Vancouver. Here I’d probably get stabbed.

4093. Beavis and Butthead or daria?
Neither.

4094. Cow or chicken?
Oh my god I loved that cartoon.
Chicken.

4095. Do you think you will visit China in this life?
Doubtful.

4096. Are you having a happy day?
Meh. It’s a day.

4097. When was or will be your ‘golden birthday’ (when your age is the same as your birthdate, like turning 17 on the 17th)?
Haha, when I was two.

4098. Enlighten everyone with something profound:
I’m not wearing pants.

4099. When has the third time been the charm for you?
Hmm…not sure, actually. I can usually get things to work the first or second time.

4100. What is kinda sick, but fun?
Life.

 

The Boastful Little Toaster Boasts the Most Toast

I got lost in Brink Hall today. Just like old times.
Anyway, I have a super cool idea for an R project that will involve a lot of frustration graphing. It will involve heat maps and crossword puzzles…that is all.

In the meantime…

3801. Who is your favorite Lord of the Rings charater and why?
I’ve neither seen nor read any LotR (and don’t intend to). However, seeing as how the next 15 questions are so are about the series, I’m just going to make some crap up like I know what I’m talking about. Okay? Okay.

3802. In the Lord of the Rings…how do the characters go on when the forces against them are so powerful?
Do Hobbits have powers? If so, powers. If not, PO-TAY-TOES.

How can they go on when so many awful things have happened?
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em…(yes, this IS the only LotR reference I know. It IS LotR, right? ‘Cause I’m fully prepared to reference this at least two more times).

3803. What is it that makes Middle Earth worth saving?
It’s the crème filling between the two hard cookies of Lower Earth and Upper Earth.

3804. Is Frodo making a personal sacrifice by taking the ring to be destroyed?
Only if it’s his ring. I’d be pissed if I found a cool ring and had to burn it/throw it in a pit/incinerate it with soul power/whatever the hell he’s supposed to do with it.

3805. What would you do in Frodo’s place?
Go reincarnate some dodos, just so I could run a farm called Frodo’s Dodos.

3806. When you saw the two towers did you really want the Ents (Treebeard etc.) to get involved in the war?
Sure, why not?

3807. Why didn’t Merry and Pippin just allow the Ents to take them home to the shire?
‘Cause the Ents were too busy making fun of Pippin’s name.

What could two tiny hobbits do in a great war?
Advocate tiny peace.

3808. Why did the elves go to Helm’s Deep?
They weren’t having fun in Helm’s Shallow.

3809. Who is the most heroic LOTR character and what makes them a hero?
Stevie. He’s heroic because he has to deal with Hobbits.

3810. What characters in LOTR put their own interests before the interests of all?
Petey. DAMN YOU, PETEY!

What characters put the interests of all above their own interests?
The unselfish ones, I would think.

3811. Aragorn left the elvish girl he loved. How could he leave someone he loved?
Frodo stole their engagement ring.

Isn’t love the highest thing that there is?
It’s not higher than Upper Earth.

What could he possibly have valued higher than love that he left her for?
Tacos. Everybody loves tacos.

Do you agree with him?
Damn straight.

3812. What LOTR character displays the most humanity?
The PO-TAY-TOES

3813. What did you notice that was different between the Two Towers book and movie?
The first involved reading. The latter involved watching.

3814. Why is Frodo so kind to Gollum?
‘Cause Frodo’s a nice guy?

3815. You are in Helm’s Deep on the eve of battle. Do you put on a suit of armor and fight, or crawl into the caves and hope to be protected?
I hop in the Batmobile and zoom out of there as quickly as possible.

3816. What have you risked your life for?
PO-TAY-TOES–okay I’m done.

3817. With the constant threat of violence, war, nukes, terror, chemicle weapons, etc. aren’t we all in a similar position to those in the Lord of the Rings?
You callin’ me a HOBBIT?!

3818. How can we go on when the evil in this world is so powerful?
Out of sight, out of mind.

How can we go on when so many awful things have happened?
Repression is a powerful thing.

3819. What is it that makes our Earth worth saving?
Good question.

3820. Who’s responsibility is it to save our world?
Ours!

3821. Who was more technologically advance in LOTR, the ‘good guys’ or the ‘bad guys’?
The neutral guys. They have Apple products.

3821. What was Tolkien saying by causing the Ents (trees) to come together with the river (by breaking the dam) and over throw Sauromon?
Haha, flashbacks to Howard the tree in Fallout 3. Weirdest. Quest. Ever.

3822. Should Wormtoung have been killed?
That sounds like a Pokemon.

Should Gollum?
From what little I’ve seen of Gollum, he’s obnoxious.

Why or why not?
However, nobody should be killed because of that.

3823. In the battle for Middle Earth, which LOTR character would you most like to be like and why?
I’d like to be the guy who wins.

3824. Which character do you think you actually WOULD be the most like?
Gollum’s obnoxious, so I’d probably be him.

3825. What is the overall ___ that you took away with you from this movie?

lesson or message?
It doesn’t matter if you’re hobbit or human…potatoes rock.

feeling?
Warm fuzzies.

**End LOTR**
THANK GOD.

3826. Why do most people associate being spiritual or connected to the world as being a hippy?
Do they?

3827. Why is passion and honest emotion equated with hallmark cards?
Are they? The only thing I think of when I think of Hallmark cards is my dad.

3828. What words set off alarms in your brain?
I have an alarm in my brain? Why the hell doesn’t it go off when it’s time for me to get up in the morning?! Slacker brain.

3829. Are you dancin in the dark?
Haha, I should, given how I dance.

3832. Is hell REALLY other people?
Sartre was spot-on.

3833. Or would it be more hellish to live totally without other people?
No. No it wouldn’t. Hell = other people.

3834. Legos or linkin logs?
Legos, fool!

3835. What books have you read more than once?
I actually haven’t re-read a book in a long time, what with my trying to finish my 200 Books list. Though I did re-read The Caine Mutiny for like the fortieth time a few years back.

3836. Do you get different things out of reading a book a second time a year or more after reading it the first time?
Of course.

Is it because you are a different person after time passes?
Yeah, in a way. You’ve acquired more knowledge about the world and are able to reinterpret the book in a different light given what you now know.

3837. The person who goes to ____ is not the same person who comes back. Fill in the blank with anything you think fits.
Band Camp.

3838. Quick! Empty your brain here!
No! My brain contents are staying right where they are tonight, thank you.

3839. What’s the best movie soundtrack?
Apollo 13.

3840. Tissues with or without aloe?
Without.

3841. Are you on any medication?
NO! And never again.

3842. Does any part of your own body disgust you?
Pretty much all of it.

If yes, isn’t that odd? What could have caused that feeling of disgust with your own body?
Not odd. Human nature.

3843. Want some popcorn?
Nah, not right now.

3844. What if Atlas shrugged?
Then maybe Ayn Rand would have fallen off the planet.

3845. Who has led the most interesting life?
The Most Interesting Man in the World, of course.

3846. What movies are coming out next year that you are looking forward to?
I have no idea and I don’t care. Not a big movie person.

3847. If someone is half man and half dog is he his own best friend?
Sure. Heck, he can lick his own butt now.

3848. Paper or plastic?
Paper.

3849. Why did things make sense in childhood, but they don’t now?
Things made sense in childhood?

3850. Is it crazy time?
It’s always crazy time with Claudia.

3852. If there were no laws and no rules name 3 things you would do that you don’t/wouldn’t/can’t do now?
1. Stay home all day and do stats/play Fallout/acquire music
2. Nakedness all the time
3. Public orgies!

3853. It’s a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is:
the 70’s?
Something with lots of colors.
80’s?
Glam rock! That’d be awesome.
Under the sea?
Sebastian!

3854. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restraunts and put them back in the sea?
Yes! Every time we go to Red Lobster. Which is not often. But every time we go to Red Lobster!

3855. How funky is your chicken?
Pretty funky.

How loose is your goose?
Not as loose as a moose.

3856. What’s your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck billed platypus, moose, skunk?
Skunk. They’re pretty and I can’t smell their stink, so why not pet the hell out of them?

3857. priest, rabbi, or other religios leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding?
Sea captain!

3858. Do you think that it’s okay for people to write their own wedding vows?
Why wouldn’t it be?

3859. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best.
Your House or Yard
5
The Beach
3
A Park
7
Disneyland
4
A Forest
10
A Catering Hall
6
Las Vegas
9
A church or temple
11
A Courthouse
8
On a Boat
2
On a Space Station
1

3860. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick?
Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake, Joan Jett, John Denver, Baby Eve (the first human clone), Jennifer Lopez, Johnny Depp, George W Bush, David Bowie, Charleton Heston, Ralph Nader, Moby, Jeff Bridges, Kelly Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden, The Pope, Eminem, Madonna
Aren’t a few of these dudes already dead? I pick…The Pope, Bill Clinton, David Bowie, Moby, John Denver, Madonna, and…why not? Bush.

3861. Rank the following dead people in order of who you would like to spend the day with. 1 = you’d like to hang out with them the most.
Joan of Arc
4
Groucho Marx
2
John Lennon
3
Joey Ramone
8
Anton Levay
10
Tupac
11
Jack Kerouac
5
Aaliyah
9
John F Kennedy
1
Lucielle Ball
7
Jim Morrison
6

3862. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can’t be yourself) who would you give it to?
Whoever wanted it and was the first to ask for it. Any takers?

3863. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to?
Probably no one. Immortality would be a pretty crappy thing to have bestowed on you if you didn’t want it. There really wouldn’t be anything you could do about it, either.

3864. Name a person you love:
Leibniz
Name a person you admire:
Sean
Name a friend:
Matt!
Name a relative:
Aunt Vicki
If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why?
Well, Leibniz is already dead, so does that count?

3865. Would you rather be one of Santa’s elves or a dentist?
Haha, for a second there I thought that read “would you rather KISS one of Santa’s elves or a dentist?” I’d rather be a dentist. I’d probably rather kiss one, too. Good oral hygiene and all.

3866. When you first meet people what do you talk to them about?
Depends on the people and the context.

3867. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one?
This would be like the least exciting thing to ever happen to me.

3868. Finish the sentences.

In a world where:
Avril Lavigne rules

He was:
A boy

She was:
A girl

Together, they were:
Pretty obvious

Why do so many movie trailers start off by saying ‘In a world..’?
Because it adds DRAMA!

3869. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers:
Captain Apathy and his sidekick Meh.

3870. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the salvation army. The salvation army turned the money down saying they didn’t want dirty gambling money.

Did they do the right thing?
I don’t know about right vs. wrong, but I think they did a foolish thing. He (hopefully) didn’t’ acquire the money illegally, so why is it “dirty”?

3871. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to?
Probably the Humane Society.

3872. What’s the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of?
I have no idea.

3874. What kind of punishment do you feel the following crimes deserve:
premeditated murder?
Life sentence. I’d say capital punishment for this and the next, but that seems so inefficient and ineffective the way we have it now that it wouldn’t be worth it in my opinion.

date rape?
Life sentence.

drug sales?

Illicit drug sales?
Jail. Community service.

drug use?
Again, illegal drugs? If illegal, jail time + possible rehab. If regular, party times and required sharing.

burglary?
I can’t remember the difference between robbery and burglary. Burglary is actually just the breaking and entering portion of “I’m going into this dwelling to steal stuff!” isn’t it? So jail. Community service. Having to pay for the damages.

3875. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at new year’s eve, who would be the lucky one?
Do they have to be living?

3876. You have just taken two sexy people prisoner because they found your hide out and you think they are spies. What do youd do: kill them, hump them or have crumpets and tea?
This is the best survey question EVER.

3877. What is your new year’s resolution?
Stop being an idiot. It’s not going so well.

3878. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq?
Antarctica. The penguins are ANGRY!

3879. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Sure.

3880. How can George Bush be considered a Christian when he a war-monger and the ten comandments say do not kill?
Good question. Ask a Christian.

3881. What is the most inetesting premise for a reality tv show that you can think of?
I thought that dream I had a few weeks back about “Neil and Prey” was a pretty awesome premise idea.

3882. Who is the Hollywood Star next to die of a drug overdose?
Hopefully none of them, but the odds of that are pretty much zero.

3883. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven’t met or spoken to them off of the computer?
Yup.

3884. When you hear the song puff the magic dragon what do you think?
Pete’s Dragon. Just ‘cause.

3886. What does ‘boo’ mean dn how did it become a slang word of affection?
I don’t know, but I find it a pretty obnoxious slang for some reason.

3887. How often do you stretch?
NEVER!

3888. Have you ever wished that you didn’t have to be yourself?
All the freaking time.

3889. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders?
Earthworms. That would feel cool!

3890. What are some things that for most people go unsaid?
“I love you.”

3891. I said, ‘Play me the best song in the world.’ You put on:
Sleepyhead. Are you kidding? Though this and this are gaining plays like none other for me.

3892. What happened last year that you would like to forget?
Pretty much everything.

3893. What are you not able to do alone?
Be with others.

3894. Do you feel more connected to earth air fire or water and why?
I always used to think I had power over the wind, so I guess I’ll have to say “air.” I’m an air sign, too, after all…

3895. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece
Life and seawater, because the former probably originated in the latter.

3896. If con is the opposite of pro, what’s the opposite of progress?
Old joke is old.

3897. Have you ever wanted to meet the inspectors with the numbers for names(i.e. inspected by 36)?
Meh.

3899. If you could change 1 thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be & why?
I would have gone and exercised today. Was too depressed this morning to do anything.

3900. What is the most bizarre thing you’ve ever done?
Um. Do you know me?

Survatorium

That’s Latin for “oh god, when the hell is Claudia going to be done with this infernal 5,000 question survey?” (Answer: soon, young followers. Soon.)

3701. If you HAD to do your holiday shopping for EVERYONE in only ONE store what store would you pick?
The Dollar Store. Totally. Who doesn’t want glow sticks for a present? Communists, that’s who.

3702. What’s more annoying: the person in front of you driving ten miles under the speed limit on a regular day OR a person who cuts you off doing 10 miles over the speed limit on a stormy day?
Depends. Is it a 2+ lane road? If so, then the person speeding their butt off is more annoying. But if there’s only one lane and you can only pass like every 10 miles, then the person going slowly is obnoxious as hell.

3703. Define the word TIME without using the word time in the definition.
It’s a magazine!

3704. What old cartoons do you remember watching?
How old is old? I remember: Talespin, Eek!, 2 Stupid Dogs,  Johnny Bravo, Dexter’s Lab, Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy. Some of those are quite a bit older than others.

3705. Do you think that people care only about the people they know personally or do most people care about all people?
I think we do have an ability to care for all people, especially when we’re reminded of our own humanity when natural disasters strike.

Why do you think people feel that way?
As obnoxious, selfish, and egocentric as we all seem, we’re all human. We care about our species.

3706. Are you more like Bra,k Zorak, or Space ghost and why?
Oh god, flashbacks to watching Space Ghost Coast to Coast and being too young to understand what the hell was going on. So I’m not really sure.

3707. Would you rather see the movie first and then read the book or read the book and then see the movie?
I’d rather just read the book. Most movies ruin something or other that’s important.

3708. Do you own any audio books?
They’re not technically audio books…

What?
I own a 2 hour long recording of brown noise. I own Brian Regan’s LIVE! and a recording of his I Walked on the Moon. OH HOLY FREAKING CRAP I just realized now that I’ve got 500 GB of external hard drive, I can finally download The Great Gatsby as audio. I adore that book.

3709. Why are things the way they are?
Deterministic universe!

3710. Do you believe that guns don’t kill people and that people kill people?
Yes.

Why?
Because ascribing the ability to kill to inanimate objects that would NOT kill unless acted upon is stupid. For example, snow doesn’t kill people, but snow acted upon by forces causing mass amounts of it to barrel down a slope in an avalanche does (assuming there are people below it, of course).

3711. What is the best way you can think of to prevent murder?
Stop killing people. GENIUS!

3712. Why is it that in the USA thousands of people are murdered with a gun each year while in Canada only a handful of people are murdered with a gun each year?
Because the entire population of Canada is roughly equivalent to the population of California. I wonder if the gun murder rates would be closer if the populations were more similar.
Incidentally, have you ever been to Surrey? That’s where probably 90% of Canada’s gun murders occur.

Sure sounds like the USA is doing something wrong, but what?
MAKIN’ BABIES! Also Republicans.

3713. Is there a difference between really being yourself and just being automatic and acting on whims?
If you’re not yourself on “automatic pilot,” who are you?

3714. Have you ever strolled through a graveyard?
Yes.

In the dark?
Yes. My apartment was practically surrounded by graveyard in Vancouver. Canadian ghosts, eh?

3715. What is the difference between a good poem and a bad one?
I don’t like poetry.

3716. Who really cares about anything?
Me.

Do you?
I just told you!

Do you let it show, all the time?
That would be indecent.

3717. Do you live with passion?
Sometimes. Sometimes I have no will to live at all.

3718. Do you talk to squirrels?
I don’t like squirrels.

3719. Do you kick up leaves?
Fall is fun.

3720. Which do you need more: sugar, caffeine, alcohol, drugs, sex, sleep?
I don’t think any of these would help me out.

3721. What images do you get from the phrase ‘human subway’?
A flashback to a Craigslist personal I read in 2009 in which a guy was describing how much he hated women’s personal ads because they all listed qualities they were looking for in a dude as if they were building a man at Subway’s “create a man” station.

3722. Joe Strummer died. Are you sad?
Should I know who that is?

Do you have a fond memory of him to share?
Obviously not.

3723. If you are a guy are circumcised?
Not a dude.

If you are a girl which do you prefer circumcised or not?
Um…I don’t know.

3724. Does it bother you that in the USA you will be tracked based on what web sites you visit, what online purchases you make and your email will be read by the government?
It bothers me, but doesn’t surprise me. Worse things could be happening.

3725. Have you ever checked out the online personals?
Indeed. Scary things be on teh internets.

3726. What do you crave?
Excitement, awesome data, awesome data analyses, sugar.

3727. On a scale of 1-10 how tough are you?
Physically? 8.

3728. On a scale of 1-10 how tender are you?
3?

3729. On a scale of 1-10 how good are you?
8.

3730. On a scale of 1-10 how evil are you?
I hope a 1.

3731. What would make a cool coffee table book?
“1,001 Pictures of Naked Leibniz Doing Calculus”

3732. What’s the most interesting conversation piece in your home?
To me? My mega stats book of awesomeness. To others? Probably the TV. It’s big.

3733. If you could get on the mall loud speaker on christmas eve you would say, ‘Attention holiday shoppers:
“Why are you still shopping on Christmas Eve? Go home and ‘nog it up!”

3734. What are you on the outside of looking into?
Sanity.

3735. Are you more of a peculiar purple pie man or a sour grape?
Hahaha what?

3736. Who is someone you know should deserve more respect?
My mom.

3737. Does the end ever justify violence as a means?
I don’t know, really. I don’t think I could know from my experience.

3738. Care about everything, or care about nothing? Which would be worse?
Caring about nothing.

3739. Why do so many people on the internet pretend to be pregnant?
Um…I had no idea this was an issue.

3740. Have you ever been the diary Hicks or Brian (same guy, Hicks is the old diary, Brian is the current one)?
I’m assuming you’re wanting to actually ask if I’ve read it, not if I’ve been it. Either way, no.

3741. What was your new years like in (answer all that you can remember)
1970?
Not alive!

1980?
Still not alive!

1990?
Was alive for this one! But I was like two so I don’t remember.

1995?
I was like seven, so I don’t remember.

1998?
10 years old! I probably watched the ball drop on TV.

2000?
I wanted to be quirky so I watched the ball drop on TV while standing on my head.

2006?
Probably just watched the ball drop on TV. Again. I live an exciting and fulfilling life, I do.

3742. You know the Def Leopard song, ‘Love Bites’?
No.

Do they actually mean love bites as in it sucks, or lovebites as in hickies?
I don’t know, I’ve never heard it.

3743. All you want for Christmas is:
A new life.

3744. If you rearrange the letters in SANTA what words can you make?
“Satan,” of course. Do I get to make smaller words, too?

3745. Say anything:
“Anything.”
3746. Can you feel your life ending one minute at a time?
Unfortunately not.

3747. Is there something you don’t want to talk about?
Yes.

3749. Who would you stop the world and melt with?
A certain someone. You know who I mean.

3750. Is there anyone you wish you had never known?
Meh.

3751. Do you prefer to drive or be driven?
Depends on who’s driving.

massage or be massaged?
Massage.

pamper or be pampered?
Pamper.

go down or be gone down on?
Hahahahaha.

3752. What do you think of the sims?
Freaking love The Sims.

3753. How about the Sims Online?
Never played it.

3754. Professional or home pedicure and why?
I’ve never had a pedi. I’d go professional, though.

3755. Is there a difference between overweight and over fat?
Durh.

3756. What do you think of Rush Limbaugh?
Oh don’t get me started.

3757. Do you buy books and then never read them?
I try not to. Books rule.

3758. What does OPP stand for?
I don’t know, actually.

3759. If you had to be a character from married with children, what would you be?
I’ve never seen that show.

3760. What did you get for christmas?
A badass stats book, that’s what!

3761. What was your best ever valentine’s day?
2008. Actually, the day before was better, but whatev.

3762. What movie would you like to see again, that you haven’t watched since you were a kid?
I’d love to run through all the Disney classics again.

3763. Have you seen Fantastic Planet?
Indeed I have not.

3764. Do feet disgust you?
Not usually. They ARE pretty creepy, though, if you think about them.

3765. What pain releaver do you use?
MANLINESS. Or ibuprofen.

3766. Are you an artist, a designer or a doodler?
I’m a drawer. I’m in between a doodler and an artist. See pretty works here.

3767. Do you belong to a gym?
I’m a member of the Y.

3768. Have you ever been to court?
Only in a play.

Over what?
It was by Ayn Rand, though, so that hardly counts as anything.

Did you win?
I won the shame of being involved in something associated with Ayn Rand.

3769. Would you ever take a case on court TV (Judge Judy and such)??
Nope.

3770. You are given a million dollars, only you MUST spend it (or as much as possible) IN ONE MONTH. ANY LEFT OVER MONEY WILL GO AWAY. WHAT DO YOU BUY?
CAPS LOCK MAKES THIS SERIOUS! I’d give a great majority to my mom and close friends (does that count), I’d buy my own place + car, I’d buy a ticket to Antarctica, I’d buy a lifetime license to SAS, I’d buy as many awesome pieces of colorful clothing as possible.

3771. What are your pj’s like?
An orange shirt with the Kix cereal logo thingy on it. Panties.

3772. Is there a fabric you love above all other fabrics?
Does polyester count? Hahaha. I’m tacky.

3773. Can you think of any words (besides mom, dad and bob) that spell the same thing backwards and forwards?
Poop, kayak, this one news anchor’s last name down here, tenet, rotavator. Also, did you know that aibohphobia is the fear of palindromes? And did you know that palindromes are rasemordnilap?

3774. Who would enter an ugly foot contest????
Probably people with ugly feet.

3775. Would you rather see a movie with someone who screams during the movie, crys through the movie, or talks theough the movie? What’s the least annoying?
I would rather not go see a movie. HA!

3776. Do you have any grey hair?
On occasion. But I also have occasional red hairs as well.

3777. Are all the Jennifers you know psychotic?
Do I know any Jennifers?

3778. Do you want to join a country club?
No.

3779. ‘I felt a funeral in my brain’ – Emily Dickinson. What do you feel in your brain?
Disdain for you for making me read Emily Dickinson.

3780. What is the best atari game you can remember?
I wasn’t gaming back in the Atari era.

3781. Hulk Hogan, Alf or Mr T?
Mr. T!

3782. Did you dance today?
No.

3783. Are birds happy in cages?
Probably not.

Are pets happy indoors?
Depends on the pet. Some cats seem extremely content just chillin’ in the sun streaming through the glass door.

3784. Have you, or has anyone you know, ever been stuffed in a locker?
Yeah. We busted up the locker pretty badly, too.

3785. Critique this poem.
Last night death signed my yearbook
   Have a good summer
   he said
   see ya next year
   and then I realized it wasn’t my yearbook
   it was my tombstone
That’s deep, bro.

3786. Red or white wine?
Apple juice.

3787. Hula hoops or jump ropes?
Jump ropes.

3788. Do you like tiffany lights?
I don’t even know what those are.

3789. Do you like fights?
Not particularly.

3790. What do YOU want to pin the tail on?
That sounds…dirty.

3791. Wasn’t last night fun?
No. Go die.

3792. Have you ever met a group of more interesting people?
As compared to who?

3793. Would you eat Spaghetti with waffles to keep from offending someone?
That sounds insanely gross. Who is this person and why would avoiding spaghetti + waffles offend them so?

3794. Do you play with Mr Patatoe head?
Did Dan Quayle write this survey?

3795. Would you rather live in an attic or a basement?
Oh god, no more basements.

3796. Can you understand sign language?
Some. Not enough for conversation at all, though.

3797. Do you wear ridiculous hats?
No.

Does Elton John?
Probably.

3798. What music is wild and crazy?
This noise. Best workout song ever.

3799. How does one live their life like a candle in the wind?
By setting their hair on fire and standing in a wind tunnel.

3800. Ziggy and the Spiders or Benny and the Jets?
I’ve never hear either, actually.

Hide yo kids, hide yo wifi

3601. What brands do you like?
Sony. Haha, that’s the only one I can think of right now.

3602. What do you think of the ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy of gays in the millitary?
I think it’s pretty sad that we live in a world where we have to have LAWS to keep us from discriminating/harassing/destroying others based on such petty things as sexuality.

3603. Why do you think that so many people have such a problem with gays?
‘Cause people suck.

3604. It seems like it is more accepted for a woman to be bi or gay than for a man. Why do you think that is?
Society is weird as hell, that’s why.

3605. When a kid kisses another kid on the playground is it sexual harassment?
Pfft, no.

3606. If you had to name yourself after an object in the room with you what would you pick?
Spiral Staircase.

3607. Pick the two most important things out of these: writing deep thoughts, expressing your self clearly, being honest, finding new novel ways to waste time, being organized, practicing what you want to do, trying to be famous
Practicing what you want to do, writing deep thoughts (thus rendering my blogs completely worthless)

3608. You were only waiting for this moment to —–
Take off my pants.

3609. Knowing historically that native American indians were and are the first americans, how do you feel about america and current americans?
As many horribly atrocious things we’ve done to other beings, I’m still pretty impressed with “Americans.”

3610. Just what exactly determines whether or not one is ‘mental’?
We’re all mental. Some are just better at hiding it.

3611. is it true that people with depression CAN’T function in society?
Nope, we just think they can’t.

3612. fill in the word: half of what i say is ———–
One one-millionth of what I think.

3613. Some people believe the Holocaust was a hoax?. What do you think of this?
I think that’s pretty insulting to everyone who had to go through that, as well as all their living relatives.

3614. Does EVERYONE in the world care about how they look except YOU?
I care about how I look.

3615. Do you love italian names like Lorenzo, Gaetano, and Grazziano?
Meh.

3616. Everyone does horrible things.
True.

Do you think that people are more acceptiong of the bad things they do themselves or the bad things others do?
Depends on the bad thing.

Which are you more accepting of?
I’m way more accepting of the bad things others do.

3617. Is it true that NO ONE wants to date grumpy people?
I think grumpy people like to grump together.

3618. Bush and his henchmen have now come up with a list of people for the CIA to assassinate. What do you think of this?
Dated survey is dated.

3619. Why is it that in many states sodomy and oral sex are still illegal, even if they are consensual?
Oral sex is illegal?

3620. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of:
liberals?
Obama.

conservatives?
Haha, Cheney.

hippies?
Flowers.

nobel peace prize winners?
Intelligence.

black panthers?
Dark.

time magazine?
Red.

feminists?
Buzz cuts, haha.

3621. Order these issues from most important and needing to be dealt with to least important and we can put it off: cloning, racism, aids cure, the middle east, putting power back in the hands of the people, the environment, better education
The environment, better education, the Middle East, putting power back in the hands of the people, racism, AIDS cure, cloning.

3622. Do you feel like you are missing out because you can only know a certain number of people in this world and you can’t know everyone?
Not really.

3623. What do you imagine being a soldier in a war is actually like?
Probably a lot worse than I can actually imagine.

3624. Do you agree that woman should be allowed to enlist in the army?
Yup.

3625. What is the purpose of government?
Good question. I don’t think they know anymore.

3626. Why don’t people believe in free love anymore?
Don’t they?

3627. Do you make desicions with your head or your heart?
Head.

3628. What is the differance between sympathy and empathy?
Sympathy = what you feel when you share emotions with a person but haven’t gone through whatever is causing their emotions.
Empathy = what you feel when you share emotions with a person while having the experience personally of whatever is causing their emotions.

3629. Can you think of any person or group you cannot empathsize with?
Many.

3630. Like creme savers?
Never had them.

3631. Your best friends asks you to marry them Out of the blue. You say:
Been there, done that!

3632. What makes you feel seriously depressed?
Life.

3633. Have you personally worked for peace?
In my own way, yes.

3634. Do you suppress parts of yourself because you are afraid of judgement?
Welcome to life.

3635. Do you take in the ideas and opinions of others too often?/
I take them in, but that doesn’t mean I apply them/adapt them.

3636. 36 – 24 – 36?
867-5309?

3637. What just isn’t right?
Left.

3638. What makes your blood boil??
Sitting on a Bunsen burner.

3639. Have you ever gone to the bathroom in aplace that wasn’t a bathroom?
Hahahaha. Yeah.

3640. Want some water melon?
Watermelon’s awesome.

3641. What’s your favorite gum?
5 Gum, either prism or RPM flavor.

3642. What do you imagine going to Harvard is like?
Scary. Intimidating. Preppy.

3643. What would you get rid of forever if you had to choose snow or rain?
Rain! Snow rules.

3644. Is there a santa clause?
SantaBot!

3645. Do you understand yourself?
Indeed.

Do you understand everyone else?
HA. No.

3646. Do you think there is a connection between understanding yourself and understanding others?
To an extent, but nothing major in my opinion.

3647. What’s good?
Large sample sizes. Homoscedasticity. Leibniz. :)

3648. Have you ever played dodge ball?
YAY dodgeball!

3649. Is there anything you feel men can do better than woman?
Create sperm.

3650. Is there anything you feel woman can do better than men?
Carry a baby.

3651. What do you think of jazz?
I’m not a big fan of it.

3652. Why do you suppose Christmas has more hype than Chanucka?
Lots more Christians + much more commercially tappable.

3653. What is like a rock?
Was that Ford who used that slogan? Haha, I can’t remember.

3654. Who do you 100% trust?
No one.

3655. Are you dreaming of a white christmas?
I freaking hate that movie.

3656. Have you done anything nice for your neighbors this year?
I have no idea who my neighbors are.

3657. What is the most courageous thing you have ever done?
Quit grad school. Given who I am, that took a LOT of courage.

3658. What things (not people) would you miss most if you were locking the big brother house for weeks on end?
My Vaio. My music. R. Stuff to read.

3659. Use five words to describe your life now.
Blah, meh, peh, boring, and get-me-out-of-here.

3660. Use five words to describe your family.
Strange, hilarious, small, and functionally-dysfunctional.

3661. Use five words to describe your childhood.
Imaginative, enlightening, shy, impactful, naïve.

3662. Who has seen the wind?
Who hasn’t?

3663. what’s the point of MLA format? Why can’t students just freely write their gathered info and opinions the way they feel is best for them?
Because standards are easier in the sense that it makes it easiest for others to recover the information’s source if they want it. Also, MLA > APA in terms of making sense. I hate APA’s rules.

3664. What’s your favorite fairy tale?
I’ve always liked The Emperor’s New Clothes for some reason.

3665. How will explain god to your children (or a child)?
I won’t. They’ll find out eventually.

3666. Is this question satanic?
Why would it be?

3668. What will last longer, the moon or the human race?
Well, if Newt has his way…

3669. Whose lives do you value more; those of your country or all of humanity?
All of humanity!

3670. If the jehovas witnesses dropped by your house what would you do?
Hide.

3671. Someone you work with or go to school with is giving you a surprise gift. Would you like it better if it were a talking teddybear or a mini tarot deck?
Tarot!

3672. Where does the sky begin? Just above the ground?
Wherever “the limit” is.

3673. What’s the most romantic thing to do?
Sit up all night and talk. Naked. With maybe some other stuff thrown in.

3674. What’s your most twisted, perverted or odd fantasy?
Ha. Like I’m telling.

3675. What’s wrong with lieing?
The spelling.

3676. If you could have lunch with any _______ who would it be?
rock star?
Can I say all three members of Muse? ‘Cause I’m going to.

actor/actress?
Tom Hanks!

political leader?
Probably Obama.

historical figure?
Voltaire.

dead person?
LEBNIZ!!!!!!!

person from your past?
Anastasia.

person in the world?
Do they have to be living?

writer?
Vladimir Nabokov.

artist?
Salvador Dali.

fictional character?
Phileas Fogg! Holy freaking crap, yes.

Disney character?
Jafar.

3677. Dedicate a song to someone right now.
Say Goodnight and Go is for…someone secret. :)

3678. It’s christmas eve at ten o’clock at night and YOU HAVE NO SHOPPING DONE! The only thing that’s open is the grocery store and the drug store. Do you do all your christmas shopping in the grocery and drug store?
I’d buy everyone some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Everybody likes Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Then I’d buy supplies to make cards and I’d put Cap’n Crunch on the cards just to confuse people.

3679. If superman is so powerful how does he get with Louis Lane? Wouldn’t he kill her?
Hahahahahaha. Most philosophical question ever.

3680. What do you think of
Jane Fonda?
Eh.

Alan Alda?
Who?

3681. Remember Mary Poppins? Feed the birds tuppence a bag.
I do indeed.

What is ‘tuppence’?
It’s like a penny, no?

3682. What was the saddest most tear jerking heart wrenching moment of the movie Titanic?
I always thought it was very sad when the old couple in third class is holding each other in their bed as the ship starts going under.

3683. Would you like a nice hot bath?
Not right now.

3684. Why is jesus always pictured as white when he came from the middle east and was probably middle eastern?
Making him white makes him automatically tortilla-colored for easy burrito appearances.

3685. Which is worse: Sand in your underwear or Sand in your mouth?
What about sand in your underwear in your mouth?

3686. Has President Bush made his case for war with Iraq?
Let’s leave him in the past, even though the repercussions of his actions are still with us.

3687. Should Senator Lott resign (or have resigned) his leadership post?
Again I say, “dated survey is dated.”

3688. If you could pick time’s person of the year who would you pick?
For 2012? It’s too early!

3689. Name all the people you know who you are attracted to and what is attractive about them?
I’m attracted to a total of four people. Nobody else is allowed in that little part of my brain.

3690. What does RSVP actually mean?
Readymade Soup’s Very Pricey.

3691. Is rhyming fun?
Damn right it is, son!

3692. Are your dreams violent?
They can be. Most often, though, they’re frantic and involve me being late.

3693. What 3 questions would you love to ask either your mom or your dad?
“Have I turned out at all like you expected?”
“Is your current life anywhere close to what you imagined when you were a kid?”
“What’s your darkest secret?”

3694. What are the hardest words to say?
Parrot. Haha, I don’t know.

3695. Should I smile because we’re friends or cry because that’s all we’ll ever be?
Both.

3696. What do you think of the slogan ‘you laugh because i’m different. I laugh becuse you are all the same’
Yay!

3697. How do you stop dry elbows?
Put them in jail.

3698. Why don’t people MAKE gifts more often?
Effort. Most people aren’t a fan of it.

3700. Do you like those plastic couch coverings?
Haha, I’m pretty indifferent to them.

Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang, GET OUT OF MY HEAD

I WILL finish this damn thing!

3501. Is ‘no glove, no love’ your STRICT policy?
If there were ever to be ‘love’, yes.

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)?
Tremors. Tremors totally counts.

3503. Finish the sentance.
Hey, Hey we’re the: guys in the diamond
People say we: paint the stars
But we’re too busy: drawing a bath
The time to hesitate is: later
You’re too: existential for those pants
It’s a nice day to: lighten the stairs

3504. Have you ever had ‘missing time’?
Huh?

3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting?
Like an e-card? Maaaaaaybe…I can’t remember.

3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies?
Why does Rule 34 spring to my mind?

3508. What is it with people?
God, who freaking knows.

3509. Do you eat too much sugar?
I do, unfortunately.

3510. Imagine you have a band. Let’s name your band.
Adjective: Inconsequential

Animal(plural): Lizards

Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass!
Inconsequential Lizards Under Glass!

Could be better?
Probably.

Let’s try again.

Adjective:
Octogenarian

Noun (plural): Stencils

Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets
Octogenarian Stencils with Puppets

3511. Are you desperate but not serious?
I’m seriously desperate. Desperately serious?

3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited?
I’m perpetually three years old when it comes to my ability to become excited about stuff.

3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school?
Indeed I do.

We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why?
Because we’re dumb. I actually remember learning to write cursive more than learning print.

If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren’t books printed in cursive?
Because books aren’t dumb.

Why aren’t cursive computer fonts more popular?
I think cursive looks ugly, personally.

Why do buisness forms always say ‘please print’?
Because who can read crazy cursive, anyway?

Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who’s with me?
Damn straight!

3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What?
Back in elementary school I always thought the amount of emphasis the teachers put on estimation (in math) was a little excessive.

3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing:
0?
Paris Hilton? Haha, I have no idea.

5?
Scarlet Johannsen? Not even sure how her last name is spelled. Totally not a celebrity person.

12?
Kate Winslet?

16?
Queen Latifah?

20?
That one lady on that really popular show. I can’t think of her name or the name of that show, but maybe you know what I’m talking about.

3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men’s and woman’s? I’ve seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes…what have you seen?
Possibly, but I can’t remember.

3517. What is the ‘message’ or ‘point behind’:
Fight Club?
Donnie Darko?
AI?
Minority Report?
Solaris?
A Walk to Remember?
You’ve Got Mail?
I haven’t seen a single one of these movies.

3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies:
Drumline?
The Hot Chick?
Maid in Manhattan?
Star Trek: Nemesis?
About Schmidt?
Evelyn?
The Guys?
Intacto?
The Jimmy Show?
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers?
Gangs of New York?
Two Weeks Notice?
The Wild Thornberrys Movie?
Smokers Only?
Treasure Planet?
The Santa Clause 2?
I’ve never seen a single one of these movies either, haha.

3520. What is:
Insanity?
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (or so says Einstein)

Normal?
Not me. Or any of my friends.

Fahrenheit?
A strange little temperature scale.

3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit:
Claudia is a strange being who likes statistics way too much.

3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law?
It depends, I think. If the law is an obscure one that really isn’t promoted as a law/upheld strictly, then I think they should be let off. More serious laws, however…

3523. If it’s so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them?
Because our education system is screwed.

3524. Name a band you sort of like:
Muse

You are wearing that band’s t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don’t know comes up to you and goes, “Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!”This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn’t like them you wouldn’t be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is:
I’d probably just say “yeah, I do.” Questions like that aren’t worth snarkiness in my opinion.

3525. If you were organizing cd’s in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don’t forget the ‘bargain bin’ section!):

Blink182
Pop

Depech Mode
Electronic

Weezer
Alt.

Led Zeppelin
Rock? (I’ve actually never listened to Led Zeppelin)

The Doors
Rock

Avril Lavigne
Pop

Nelly
Pop

Manfred Mann
I have no idea

Iggy Pop
Alt.

Pink Floyd
Alt.

Guns N Roses
Rock

Shakira
Pop

Britney Spears
Pop

Tool
Alt metal

Ozzy Osbourne
Rock

Madonna
Pop

The Rolling Stones
Rock

The Beatles
Rock

Motley Crue
Metal?

Bon Jovi
Rock

3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more?
I don’t like coffee.

3527. Can you do ‘six degrees of seperation’ to anyone famous?
Me myself? I seriously doubt it.

3528. What’s the oddest thing in your home?
Me.

3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall:
in the bathroom?
Not if the other two (or three or whatever) stalls are already taken.

in the parking lot?
The parking space? I don’t see that as odd, I see that as obnoxious. Other people need that space, yo.

3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself?
HAHA. All the time.

Do you answer yourself back?
No one else ever does.

3531. In your head do you call yourself ‘I’ or ‘you’ or both?
Both.

3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven’t done your homework?
No excuses! Homework must be completed!

3533. Someone tells you ‘well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers’. What do you think?
I’d probably stop talking to them at that point.

3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture?
Both!

3536. What is social loafing?
Isn’t that when, in a group setting, people tend to slack off on their responsibilities with the thought that the rest of the group will pick up the slack?

What is groupthink?
When the desire for harmony/decision-making in a group drives people to agree with one another more readily.

3537. I have an idea. let’s change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think?
Indubitably! Wait…

3539. Here’s the scenerio…your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say?
“When did I get a little brother?!”

He says, “Why can’t I watch this?” What is your response?
“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, IMPOSTER!”

Why do you respond that way?
Spontaneous little brothers are scary.

3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys?
Depends on age.

How can you tell?
Female sex drive is maximum later in life compared to males, right?

3541. are you usually carefree?
Nope.

3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people?
Yes.

3543. Do you often long for excitement?
In my own way, yes.

3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others?
Depends if they are my close friends or not. Close friends = histrionics. Everyone else = silence.

3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment?
I plan. Everything. Always.

3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move?
HAHAHA no. Rush time.

3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare?
Surprisingly yes.

3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another?
You mean like pranks? I hate pranks.

3549. Do you enjoy wild parties?
Depends. Is there nudity?

3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change?
I don’t think so.

3551. Is rascism still a big part of our culture?
Parts of it.

3553. How many famous people cxan you name who committed sucicide?
I’m drawing a blank right now.

3554. Do you have OCD?
Nope.

3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed?
Anxiety is my middle name, yo.

Insecure or secure?
Insecure is my other middle name.

Sociable or withdrawn?
Withdrawn.

Original or conventional?
A good mixture of both.

3556. Are you more emotional or calm?
Hmm…depends.

self pitying or content?
Haha, self-pitying.

Fun loving or sober?
Sober.

Imaginative or down to earth?
Imaginative.

3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof?
Aloof.

adventurous or cautious?
Adventurous.

Broad or narrow when it comes to interests?
Broad.

Receptive or closed to new ideas?
Receptive.

3558. Are you more good natured or irratble?
Irritable.

soft hearted or ruthless?
MANLY!

well organized or disorganized?
Well-organized.

Dependable or undependable?
Dependable.

3559. Are you more courteous or rude?
Courteous

sympathetic or tough minded?
Tough-minded.

hardworking or lazy?
Hardworking.

ambitious or easy going?
Ambitious.

Anxiety Inscurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality.
I’m pretty neurotic, then.

Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extraverted personality.
Already knew I wasn’t extraverted.

Orignality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality.
I’m about half/half on this one.

Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality.
Meh.

Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality.
Yay conscientiousness!

3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common?
I think there’s more in common than we like to admit.

3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you’ve ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself?
Most of my music teachers, yes.

Do you tend to try harder if they DO care?
Sure do.

3562. Have you ever been stereotyped?
Most likely.

As what?
A weirdo.

3563. Have you ever been dsicriminated against?
Maybe.

For what?
Who knows?

3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather?
It hasn’t been yet, at least since I’ve been there.

3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate?
Me?

3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul?
No.

Why or why not?
Because souls don’t exist.

3567. Finish the sentence: As the world turns..I only have one concern…that:
I’ll still have data.

3569. Have you read any biographies?
Yup.

Whose?
I read Einstein’s a long time ago. I’ve read a LOT about Leibniz.

3570. What are you obsessed with?
HAHA. Statistics. Philosophy. Leibniz. Internet.

3572. Do you crack your:
knuckes?
Yes.

neck?
No.

back?
No.

other?
My toes every once and awhile.

3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour

The ability to fly, the ability to freeze and restart time (which, in my opinion, allows me at least one other of these powers)

3574. Do you chew your penciles and pens?
Pencils, yes. The caps of pens, yes.

3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins?
Hahahahaha.

3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone eround you naked?
I do that normally, yo.

3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for
guys: pants
girls: more pants

3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman?
Men.

3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them?
[insert gif of Peter Griffin forgetting how to sit down]

3580. Has anyone ever:
screamed your name during sex?
Haha, seriously doubt it.

moaned your name during sex?
See above.

3581. Hershey’s kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other?
Almond!

3582. What’s the best slurpee flavor?
I’ve never had a Slurpee.

3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen?
I wouldn’t know, ‘cause given the number of movies I haven’t seen, I might as well have been living under a rock in Iceland.

3584. Of these words, which ones are funny:
beets?
cumquat?
pit?
Piss-capades?
fuzzy?
Piss-capades is pretty great.

What are some other funny words?
BOOBIES!

3585. Do you give good massages?
So people tell me.

3586. What songs have been ‘stuck’ in your head?
Nothing recently, actually.

3587. What don’t most people know about your job?
That I have one? Hahaha. Maybe that it helps people directly.

3588. Is there anything you won’t say unless someone else says it first?
“I love you” to anyone outside my family.

3589. Do you need a little Christmas?
Not in March.

3590. Fake or real tree?
Real!

3591. Is your refrigerator running?
Yes.

You know what to do.
Not a damn thing!

3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose?
Draw a picture for 1,000 times the verbal power!!!

3593. Who can it be now?
Huh?

3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone?
I don’t know.

3595. How often do you get headaches?
Not very often, actually. Migraines even less frequently.

3596. Have you ever woen fake eyelashes?
Nope.

3597. What could you spend 24 hours in a row doing?
I’m not telling.

3598. Is it Friday yet?
We’re getting there.

3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/
Elementary school?

3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects?
Yes.

Do you try to get them to answer you?
They speak for themselves.

Have they ever answered you?
See above.

When I grow up, I’m going to be a toaster

3401. How well can you read between the lines when others are talking?
Meh.

3402. Would you ever speak in front of your peers about peace and social injustice?
Sure, though I’m not really sure what I’d say.

3403. Where does peace begin?
With one individual.

3404. Does America practice the ideals it preaches?
Depends on the ideal.

3405. In conversations do you assume that you know what will be said?
Why would I assume that?

3406. In what ways are you closed minded?
Probably in more ways than I want to acknowledge.

3407. do you prefer beans or rice?
Beans.

3408. who’s a better tv dad?–dr. huxtable (bill cosby) or danny tanner?
I’ve never seen The Cosby Show, but Danny is creepy.

3409. detroit or new york?
New York.

3410. What’s your favourite Star Wars movie?
The Sixth One (the third of the original trilogy).

3411. What’s your favourite Star Trek movie?
I’ve never seen Star Trek, believe it or not.

3412. How about Batman?
See above.
Indiana Jones?
The one with the snakes.
Lord of the rings?
Blah.
harry potter?
I think I only saw one of them all the way through. Can’t remember which one, though.

3413. If you could ask one question and one question only to the following people, what would that question be:
Saddam Hussain?
“Was my uncle a body double for you at some point?”
George W Bush?
“WTF, mate?”
John Lennon?
“HELLO!”
an alien?
“What do you think of the life on Earth?”
God?
“Why?”
Someone you knew who has died?
“Did she treat you the way she’s treated us?”
Steven Speilberg?
“Any upcoming movies?”
JD Salinger?
“Did Catcher in the Rye make you both laugh hysterically and feel obscenely depressed?”

3414. Have you seen AI (artificial intelligence)?
Nope.

3415. If a-l-k-a-s-e-l-t-z-e-r spells ‘relief’ how do you spell:
love?
S-T-A-T-I-S-T-I-C-S
happiness?
S-T-A-T-I-S-T-I-C-S
evil?
W-I-L-L-F-U-L I-G-N-O-R-A-N-C-E
sexyness?
L-E-I-B-N-I-Z
yummy?
B-R-O-C-C-O-L-I

3416. Have you ever been to a Braodway show?
No, unfortunately.

3417. Nighttime shows or matines (sp?)?
Bah, movies.

3418. How are your family get-togethers, loud and rambunctios or quiet and formal?
Ulcer-inducing and frightening.

3419. Would you be able to survive shipwrecked alone on a desert island?
Possibly. I think I’d be able to.

3420. Speaking of islands, does Gilligan EVER get off his?
Not sure.

3421. What movie has the BEST soundtrack?
Apollo 13!

3422. Do you ever go into chat rooms?
I used to. A lot.
If yes, what ones?
I always trolled the hell out of Yahoo!’s teen chatroom. Oh my god. Every day after junior high. Biggest troll ever.

3423. Is english your first language?
Jawohl!

3424. Make up a religion. What would it believe?
Pretty much everything Leibniz said about the universe/monads, except without the “god” part.

3426. How would you celebrate these holidays? Dogs in Politics day: Create some sort of Pet Olympics, pitting all the living Presidential pets against one another.
Magic circles day: draw circles large enough to stand in on the sidewalk. Stand in them and perform magic tricks.
Be bald and free day: Watch all the Colin Mochrie-centered Whose Line Is It Anyway? episodes.
Syliva plath day: Take a bunch of antidepressants and brood in a dark corner.
Increase your psychic powers day: Spend all day trying to reach each others’ minds.
Waiting for the barbarians day: Um…go sit at the Great Wall and wait for Huns? LET’S get DOWN to BUSINESS…to defeat…THE HUNS!
Air day: Breathe for a WHOLE 24 HOURS STRAIGHT.

3427. -Why do you think Steve got kicked off Blue’s Clues:
Who did the what now?

3428. Hooked on heroin or hooked on phonics?
Hooked on doing phonics workbooks while on heroin.

3429. -Have you ever taken an insanity quiz?
Do I need to?

3430. – Have you ever covered yourself in blood and layed down on the side of the road to make it look like you were in an accident?
Can’t say that I have.
You don’t know what you’re missing.
Good to know.

3431. Can you flare your nostrils?
Yup.

3432. -do you want to swim in a vast lake of gatorade? or, any other beverage for that matter?
I know it’s not a beverage, obviously, but I’ve always wanted to swim in a swimming pool of Jell-o. Solidified, of course.

3433. -have you ever sneezed at the same time everyday, consecutively, for over 3 months?
Nope, can’t say that I have.

3434. -how did the first person discover that pigs feet would be so good that we call them a delicacy?
I guess they taste that good?

3435. -why did the first person to ever eat pigs feet eat them?
Why did the first person to ever eat PIG eat it?

3436. -do you like the idea of ‘like father, like son’?
I don’t know. It depends on the father/son duo.

3438. Would you rather be an evil dictator or a sitcom family member?
Can’t I be both? “Suburb Stalin!” I’d watch that.

3439. What is the wave of the future?
Ultra-violet.

3440. What’s your favorite old movie (before 1990)?
The Brave Little Toaster!

3441. When someone tells you that their signifigant other lives REally Far Away..do you ever suspect that they are single and making someone up?
Why would I suspect that?

3442. Alaska or Hawaaii?
AK!

3443. Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change their name to KFC?
It’s faster to say “KFC,” which is important when your sole goal is to inhale a bucket of chicken.

3444. What is there no place to hide from?
Myself.

3445. Which makes you happier, giving presents or getting them?
Giving! Though getting them rocks too, haha.

3446. What can you never have just one of?
M&Ms.

3447. What comes to mind when you think of Hulk Hogan?/
Politics, believe it or not.

3448. What would you be the patron saint of?
Color.

3449. Do you still look at the world with wonder like you did when you were a kid?
Parts of it.

3450. For 5 seconds clear your mind. Good. Now write the first thing that you can think of!:
River rafting (WTF, brain?)

3451. When was the last time you ate too much?
I have no idea.

3452. Describe the sexiest person you can imagine:
I don’t need to imagine. HE EXISTED:

3453. What have you seen that’s…bizzare?
My family.

3454. Are there any stores or brands or products that yoou boycott?
I won’t buy Florida’s Natural orange juice ‘cause their commercials PISS ME OFF.

3455. Do you want things to REALLY get out of control?
I’m a pretty major control freak, so no.

3456. Are you too tense?
I’m one fifth.

3457. Where would you be without love and bubblegum?
Lonely and un-sticky. Haha.

3458. Why aren’t comic books popular anymore?
I think they’re still popular in the right circles.

3459. Think of one friend (who?): Sean!
When is the last time you saw each other?
End of July last year.
Do they smoke?
I don’t believe so, no.
Do they believe in God?
I don’t think so.
When you first saw this friend what was your impression?
This dude seems pretty cool.
Their age?
24.

3460. Do you say what you mean?
Haha, not all of the time.
Do you mean what you say?
I try.

3461. Could you eat meat if you had to hunt it yourself?
Yes, but I would probably never get to ‘cause I don’t think I could catch anything.

3462. Order from greatest to least importance: spirituality, creativity, intellect, great body, open-mindedness, magicalness, great dancer, interesting dresser, wit and cleverness, niceness, stability
niceness, creativity, intellect, open-mindedness, wit and cleverness, stability, interesting dresser, magicalness, great dancer, great body, spirituality.

3463. Complete the sentence.
When a problem comes along You must:
Fix it fix it fix it!

3464. Pick the two most important attributes for food– fast, cheap, tasty, healthy
Healthy, tasty.

3465. What do you think is the best metaphor for romantic relationships? (e.g. a car wreck, a cruise)
A time-bomb. Or a literal bomb.

3466. Kittens or no kittens, that is the question.
KITTENS ALWAYS! ‘Tis noble.

3467. Is gaining 15 lbs in a night possible?
If you consume a 15 lb. weight, sure.

3468. Do you get emotional watching movies?
Pfft, movies.

3469. What makes you feel nostalgic?
Thinking about Moscow.

3470. Do you feel like you’ve been misplaced?
I feel like I don’t HAVE a place.

3471. Have you ever fought someone, just for fun?
Not physically. Mentally, though, yeah.

3472. What gives you an adrenaline rush?
Planning stuff. Yeah, I know, I’m lame.

3473. What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else, and you could never have them?
Ugh. Love is…not for me. Not now.

3474. Rank these events in order of best/most exciting to boring (1 = most exciting):
drinking and dancing to your favorite music at a club: 6
taking a walk in the woods and a bath in a stream: 7
having great sex: 9
winning the lottery (one mil): 1
getting followed home by a stray animal: 2
meeting someone interesting to talk to: 8
seeing your favorite band in concert: 3
seeeing aa broadway show: 4
halloween: 5

3475. Can you keep a secret?
Yup.

3476. Where is the tenderness?
IN MY BUTT

3478. Would you rather have a video phone, an electric scooter, or a digital camera?
Dude, an electric scooter! I’d motor all OVER the damn place.

3479. If a ban on all violent video games was put into effect, would you be outraged by this decision?
Yes, but not because all violent games were banned…because whoever was in charge was ALLOWED to ban all violent games.

3480. In your opinion, is violence in society inescapable?
Yeah.
Why or why not?
We’re animals. It’s the way of nature sometimes.

3481. Have you ever mimicked a violent “action” from a video game you’ve played towards another person, whether it was to harm or just for play?
Oh, probably.

3482. Do you believe the violent content in video games influences aggressive and/or violent behavior in younger children?
I really think it depends on the child. I obsessively played Doom and Quake when I was six/seven years old, and I’m probably the least aggressive person ever.

3483. What makes life a bitter sweet symphony?
Trying to make ends meet, trying to find some money, then dying.

3484. Name four things that aare AWESOME:
Statistics, Existentialism, Leibniz, writing.

3486. Can you imagine this world going on without you?
Of course. I’m no solipsist.

3487. Are you the only person who really exists?
Hahaha. See above.

3488. Is everyone else a figment of your imagination?
I’d have one twisted imagination then.

3489. Or are YOU a figment of my imagination?
OH GOD

3490. Can you prove you exist?
I don’t know.

3491. What do you Have to get off your chest?
My shirt. NAKED TIME!

3492. If you cheated on someone would you confess to them?
Yes.

3493. Is it true that at least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you?
No.
Who?
Maybe like two people.

3494. Are you in therapy?
I should be.

3495. Do you go shopping on black friday?
Nope.

3496. What is the bane of your existance?
Ignorance.

3497. Better movie: Weird Science or Caddy Shack?
I’ve never seen Weird Science and I haven’t seen Caddy Shack all the way through.

3498. Who’s the big winner?
Not me.

3500. Guess what?
Orgy time?

In a world of blogs, we lose our minds

3301. When someone is ‘crazy’ why do we call them ‘nuts’ or ‘fruitcakes’?
Good question. I don’t know.

3302. What’s the dillio?
I always thought that was spelled differently.

3303. Where did the slang term ‘dillio’ come from?
Good question. To Wikipedia!!

3304. How many even whole numbers are there between -5 and 5?
Six (0, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5).

3305. What words can you make using only these letters: E N O?
On, no, en, one, eon.

3306. What’s the differance between foods that are low fat and foods that are lite?
Aren’t “lite” foods lower in calories than the “regular” versions?

3307. White or brown rice?
I like white rice.

3308. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable?
I think so, yes, but it’d be tough.

3309. What is the differance between discomfort and pain?
I see pain as a “warning sign” and discomfort more as a sign of something being worked or something unpleasant being noticed.

3310. What is the most uncomfortable thing you can think of?
Akathisia. Holy lord.

3311. What do these names make you think of:
britney spears?
Titanic.
walt whitman?
Leaves of Grass
buddha?
Siddhartha
william shakespere?
Macbeth.
pablo picasso?
Freaky looking women.
adam ant?
Cartoons, haha.
franz kafka?
Giant cockroaches.
nietzche?
Existentialism.
madonna?
Pointy bras.
orson scott card?
Did he do Ender’s Game?
frieda kahlo?
Who?
god?
Jesus!
salvidor dali?
Clocks.
david bowie?
Crotches.
jesus?
God!
lars ulrich?
Metallica!
jim henson?
Kermit.

3312. What are your favorite games to play?
The coolest game I’ve ever played was Mille Bornes, a French board game about driving. It was badass…I wonder if we still have it?

3313. Are you quick to judge something as stupid just because you don’t understand it?
Nope. I try to understand it better.

3314. Are you obnoxious to others?
Probably.

3315. Do you feel superior to anyone?
Hahaha, no.

3316. Shouldn’t people take a good look at themselves before they criticize others?
Yes indeed. We should leave others alone if they aren’t harming anything.

3317. Which is better and why:
writing or saying obnoxious things about someone who isn’t around to defent themselves or saying it straight to them?
Saying it straight to them. Saying bad things about someone behind their backs is scum.
Which do YOU do more often?
I try to do neither, haha. I don’t like saying bad things about others.

3318. Do you appologize too often?
I probably do, but I try not to.

3319. Does your mind play tricks on you?
It does indeed.

3320. Have you read (any of):
the bible?
Yes.
the koran?
I might have in The Sacred Journey.
the torah?
A little.
the kama sutra?
Nope.
the satanic bible?
Nope.
Are these mystical texts or historical ones?
Probably a mixture of both.

3321. Do you own any possetions that you hide from parents, friends, visitors?
I don’t think so.
What?
Haha, I used to though.

3322. Why does the cheese stand alone?
Because that’s just its whey.

3323. Do you watch any soaps?
I’ve never been into soaps.

3324. Have you learned something new today?/
Probably, but I can’t think of it right now.

3325. Do you believe in an ‘oversoul’ of all humanity?
Nope.

3326. Have you invented your own style, just for you?
Have you seen my clothing?

3327. have you invented your own religion, just for you?
I’m closely aligned with hylozoism, which isn’t really a religion per se, but I guess I’m closest to that.

3328. What files have you recently downloaded?
A bunch of music. Some Word docs from work.

3329. Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard but I think:
That kids scare me enough that I wouldn’t protest this for girls OR boys.

3330. Do you dance around a lot?
I groove while I drive. People think I’m nutso.

3331. Is the unexamined life worth living or not?
YAY A SOCRATES QUOTE! No, it’s not worth living in my opinon.

3332. What are you like when you’re at your most beautiful?
No idea.

3333. What are you like when you are at your worst?
A freaking disaster of a human being. It’s not pleasant to witness.

3334. Why do you hide things about yourself?
I’m not telling!

3335. Why is anything ‘too personal’ to talk to others about?
Because we’re private beings. Sometimes we’re embarrassed.

3336. Why should we be embarressed, afraid, or appologetic for ANYTHING we think, say or do?
Who knows? We’re conditioned to be that way.

3337. Can true freedom exist in this world of doubt and guilt?
Depends on how you define “freedom.”

3338. What do you have no control over?
Everything. But such is a deterministic universe.

3339. Do you own a vibrating pillow?
Haha, that sounds dirty.
How about a vibrating back massager?
Nope.

3340. Can you dance away your emotional pain?
Not effectively enough to use it as any sort of coping mechanism, no.

3341. When you dance is it a celebration of life?
It’s a celebration of awkwardness.

3342. When do you feel the most immortal?
When I’m running. That’s my “I AM A GOD” time.

3343. Are you more of a painting, a poem or a song?
A painting. Loud without words.

3344. Is lonliness a crowded room full of open hearts turned to stone?
Why does that sound so familiar?

3345. Is YOUR heart ever stone?
GRANITE SOUL

3346. Are we alltogether all alone?
Sometimes. Welcome to the internet.

3347. Does life end in a happily ever after way?
It can if we make it.

3348. What’s the warmest part of your body?
Crotch? Haha.

3349. Are you more verbal or visual?
Both. I like visual accompaniments to my verbal explanations.

3350. What do you long for?
Knowledge.

3351. True or false: When someone hates you it is because:
they’re jealous of you?
False.
the things you say are frightening to them because what you say makes them think about things they would rather avoid thinking about?
True sometimes.
they don’t understand you?
True sometimes.

3352. True or false: When you hate someone it is because:
you’re jealous of them?
False, usually. I’m trying to fix this.
the things they say are frightening to you because what they say makes them think about things you would rather avoid thinking about?
False.
you don’t understand them?
True.

3353. Have you ever been fascinated by someone who hated you?
I’d like to think I’ve never been hated, but I think I have by at least one person. I wasn’t fascinated by them, though.

3354. Since the human brain has defense mechanisms against feeling bad (meaning the brain lies to itself to avoid feeling bad about something it said or did) how can we ever know if we are truly being honest?
I don’t think we can.
How do we know our brains are not tricking us into believeing we are good people when we aren’t all good?
We don’t.

3355. How highly do you value innovation?
Pretty highly.

3356. Is there a name where all the people you’ve ever met haveing that name had something in common with each other(ex. all the jens you’ve ever met had blue eyes)?
All the Merediths I’ve ever known went to elementary school with me. Does that count?

3357. Are you focused more outward or inward?
Inward.

3358. What is the most affectionate nickname you ever came up with for someone?
Haha, I have no idea.

3359. Are the questions STILL still interesting this deep into the survey?
Eh. There are a few interesting ones.

3360. If someone else makes their desicions based on their intuition instead of on facts and proofs what do you think of that person?
Meh.

3361. Do you trust your own intuition?
I should. It’s proven pretty reliable in the past.

3362. Finish the phrase…
danger is the: motivator.
just keep: on truckin’.
never trust: a politician.
the way I live my life: may not work for you, but it works for me.
don’t change: ‘cause I like you the way you are.
maybe someday: things will be better.

3363. Would you rather live in Frodo’s world or Harry Potter’s?
Neither, but if I had to pick, Harry Potter’s.

3364. Do you believe that the dead are with us?
Sure.
If yes in what form?
They’re still components of the universe.

3365. Do you believe that those who haven’t been born are with us?
Yes.
If yes, in what form?
Matter is neither created nor destroyed in the universe; therefore, they’re here in some form.

3366. Are you made of timid stuff?
I am made of livid fluff.

3367. Is there anyone in this world who is not CRAZY?
We’re all nutso.

3368. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short?

3369. Can you mashed potatoe?
Only if I’m Dan Quayle.
Can you do the twist?
Possibly.

3370. What does your family do for thanksgiving..or if you don’t celebrate it what do you picture when you think of thanksgiving?
We make broccoli, mashed potatoes, and sometimes turkey. We sit around and pretend to be normal.

3371. What is your earliest memory?
I remember getting the chicken pox. I remember getting my first concussion. I don’t remember which of these events came first, though.

3372. Have you ever taken an IQ test?
Just the ones on the internet.
What’d you get?
I think my scores ranged from like 144 to 171.
What do you think of those things?
BAH. They only measure how good you are at taking those sorts of tests.

3373. How do you make ‘fishcakes’?
I’ve never heard of such things.

3374. Which is the better band..the offspring or the damned?
I’ve never heard The Damned.

3375. Do you ever think about world destruction?
Yup.

3376. Do you think humans are becoming more robotic?
Our world is, but humans aren’t, necessarily.

3377. Do you think we’ll ever be replaced by robots?
As in, our species being replaced by them? That would be…weird.

3378. What do you feel a part of?
The universe.

3379. Does it freak you out to know that yogurt is ALiVe??
Hahaha. No.

3380. What current band do you think is doing something particularly interesting or innovative?
Can Lady Gaga count? I love her.

3381. Golf course, do you remember?
What?

3382. Which is more important, books and cleverness or friendship and bravery?
Laziness…THEIVERY!!
(Sorry, this one reminded me of a Brian Regan routine)

3383. If i promise to miss you, will you go away?
Sure.

3384. stool, ball, powder…Can you think of a 4th word that connects these three?
Gun?

3385. Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?
Timid pigs.

3386. Why are blondes considered ‘dumb’?
Because people are obnoxious and love stereotypes.

3387. What’s more important..intuitiveness/creativity or factual knowledge and practicallity?
BOTH!

3388. Who are the two worst terrorists you can think of?
Pick a politician, any two politicians. Haha.

3389. What is jello made of?
Gelatin and colors!

3390. Pick a country:
Canada.
What do you believe is wrong with that country?
Vancouver.

3391. Do you have strong opinions?
Depends on the subject.

3392. Do you do what it takes to stand up for those opinions?
I try.

3393. Have you ever been to a rally, protest or demonstration?
Not actively.
If yes was it effective and in what ways?
It caught my attention, which I’m assuming it was supposed to do.

3394. When people say, ‘yeah it sucks but there’s nothing I can do’ do you believe them?
Sometimes.

3395. Do you know what you can do to make this world a better place?
Yes.
Do you care?
Of course. I’d like to make life as fun and easy for others as possible.

3396. Why is peace so important anyway?
Because we should all try to get along and make life as good for each other as possible.

3397. As long as you have your house and your family and you can go to the movies and the mall who cares about peace and freedom. Right?
Wrong!

3398.Do you try to avoid anything involving work?
I like to work. Makes me feel useful.

3399. If you are not actively working to stop the horrors and injustices of the world (war, hunger, poverty) than aren’t you partially responsible for them?
I wouldn’t say you’re partially responsible for them, but you’re certainly not responsible for lessening them.

3400. Are you in denial?
Me? Denial? NEVER!

To survey or not to survey…? Ah, screw it.

3201. What if this is as good as it gets?
Dammit.

3202. Have you ever dated someone mostly or completely because of their looks?
Nope.

3204. What should you never forget?
December 22, 2008 and July 25, 2009. At least, I don’t WANT to forget those days.

3205. How many of the 7 Dwarves can you name for us?
Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Bashful, Dopey, Sneezy.

3206. What animal does your mom resemble?
Something cool. Like a spider.

3207. Have you ever had a palm reading?
I’ve done the online ones, but nothing “professional.”

3208. What’s a crazy thing you did that you got in trouble for as a kid?
The craziest thing I ever did was hide in the band closet from the after-school teachers. Real rebel you’re dealing with, here.

3209. What do you battle against?
Ignorance. Unkindness. Messy data. Leibniz-haters.

3210. Do pircings really make the pierced area dramatically more sensative?
Not for me.

3211. If you had put aside some money for a trip and the travel agent said he had 2 trips available in your price range during the week you want to go, which would you choose:
a> a week in hawaii in a luxory beach resort
b> a week in africa helping the red cross distribute food and medicine
Totally Africa. I’d like to do something helpful with my free time. Plus I’ve already been to Hawaii, haha.

3212. Have you ever played with a dreidal?
Nope. Sung the song, though.

3213. Did you know that Kraft is owned by a ciggerette company?
Nope.
Does that bother you?
I don’t know.

3214. With all the information constantly rushing at you, how do you know what’s important?
I don’t. Nobody does.

3215. How is your life unlike a movie?
Stephen Spielberg isn’t following me around directing my actions.

3216. Where is the most beautiful place you have visited?
13,000 feet up in the air.

3217. What is never going in your mouth?
Hahaha. This sounds dirty.

3218. Are there realaly 5,000 different facts about you?
We shall see, won’t we?

3219. Do you like banana bread?
Banana bread rocks.

3220. Who are you the most gentle and tender around?
The one(s) I love.

3221. If electrodes were inserted into your brain and a button was put into your arm so that you could push the button and stimulate an immeadiate orgasm would you forget about life and sit at home pushing the button until you died?
Nope. Where’s the fun in that?

3222. Is there a differance between being scared and afraid?
I’d always thought “scared” was an immediate reaction to something specific; “afraid” always seemed to me to be a general feeling, attributed to nothing individual.

3223. Are you scared and/or afarid of death?
Death is inevitable. Like tacos.
If yes, what is it about death?
The pain?
It’s not guaranteed that death will be painful.
The seperation?
I’d think that once the consciousness goes, you’d be unable to feel the separation.
the unknown?
The unknown is exciting.
the fear of nothing?
It’d be better than life, sometimes.

3224. What is existentialism?
AWESOME. Read some Sartre, bitches.

3226. A college girl (maybe you?) blows a tire and pulls off the road in an unfamilliar residential neighborhood. She is having trouble changing the tire when a man in his late thirties-ish comes over and asks if she needs some help. He changes her tire and offers to let her go into his house to wash her hands. She is dirty from trying to change the tire. Should she accept?
Only if she’s that concerned about her dirty hands. I personally wouldn’t; a little dirt never hurt anyone.
She does accept and he gives her a tour of the house inclding the upstairs. The staircase in the livingroom leads directly into the master bedroom. The view out the window is beautiful. What are you thinking about this situation?
I’d be cautious if I were her, but then again I’m paranoid.

3227. Are you too trusting of others?
Nope.

3228. What’s the difference between a den and a living room?
I always picture dens as living rooms in the basement, but that’s just me.

3230. Who is the hero of all kids?
Captain Planet?

3231. Who do you tend to show more of your best side to, your family or strangers?
I don’t have a “best” side. I’m crappy.

3232. How do you think the harry potter series will end?
Haha, old survey. I actually don’t know how it ended, I read like a fourth of the first book and saw the first and one of the middle films.

3233. Name three things that would make really bad ice cream flavors:
Taco, horseradish, and pee.

3234. Would you try a jelly bean if it’s flavor was:
toasted marshmellow? I don’t like jelly beans.
fried chicken? See above.
black pepper? Still don’t like jelly beans.
vomit? Nasty nasty.
grass? Actually, I’ve never had a jelly bean.
dirt? My bad.
boogers? Still though, they don’t sound very good to me.
ear wax? Oh well.
sardines? Back to the survey.
Did you know that you can get these flavors of jellybeans at harrypotter.com?
Doesn’t surprise me.

3235. What’s at the center of the earth?
I don’t know, but I’d be happy to take a Verne-inspired journey to find out.

3236. have you ever wondered where holidays come from?
Not really.

3237. Do you think there should be more movies shown in 3D?
The proliferation of 3D movies nowadays is obnoxious.

3238. Are you just another brick in the wall?
I’m spackle.

3239. Write a haiku (a poem with 3 lines, 1st line is 5 syllables, second line is 7 sylabels, 3rd line is five syllabals):
This is a haiku
Seven syllables go here
Holy crap, we’re done.

3240. Are you cautious and tame?
Depends.

3241. Do you like to eat at Subway?
I love their tuna.

3242. Is 42 the meaning of life?
It’s 6 x 7.

3243. Would you agree that a blade of grass is nothing less than the journeywork of stars?
Perhaps.

3244. Do you want to die?
I’m not afraid to.

3245. If someone was studying ‘the humanities’ what the hell are they studying?
AWESOME STUFF like philosophy.

3246. Is this question REALLY is this question 3246?
Nope, a lot of questions have multiple parts.

3247. Do you want to diet?
Eh.

3248. What is colder, your feet, or the floor?
My feet.

3249. What is older, your mouth, or the door?
The door.

3250. Are you more beauty or more beast?
I’m more toaster.

3251. Are we there yet?
Sit down and be quiet or I will TURN THIS BLOG AROUND and go right back home, young man!

3252. Scantron or handwritten tests?
Scantrons give me panic attacks. True story.

3253. What’s that sound?
I like that sound. I LOVE that sound. It’s the sound of my shoes.

3254. True/false: To the maggots on the cheese, the cheese is the universe.
True.

3255. What’s the best treat to bring with you to elementary school for your birthday?
I think I always just brought cake. Or cookies.

3256. What would you expect to learn from self interrogation?
How absolutely horrible a person I am.

3257. When you feel cold does eating warm food help you feel warm?
No, but every time I have something cold it makes me FREEZING.

3258. Does being true to yourself mean saying ‘screw everybody else, my shit is more important’?
If that’s who you are, yes.

3259. Have you reckoned a thousand acres much?
Do what now?

3260. Have you reckoned the earth much?
Sure.

3261. Have you ever had a vision?
Can’t say I have.

3262. If you have a vision or belief and someone else has a conflicting vision or belief, how do you tell which one is valid?
You can’t.
Are they both valid?
Sure.

3263. Why is everything based around proof and facts instead of intuition?
I don’t think everything’s based around proof and facts. Do you know how much subjective/intuition-driven crap is out there?

3264. What is the grass?
In elementary school when they told us that God was the earth, I always combed the grass with my fingers, pretending it was God’s hair.

3265. Have you ever supposed it is lucky to be born?
I think sentience is just a random property that occurs occasionally in the universe.
Is it just as lucky to die?
See above.

3266. What is it that you express in your eyes?
The truth! Can you handle it?

3267. What is man anyhow?
Strange as hell, that’s what.

3268. You understand enough. Why don’t you let it out?
I understand nothing.

3270. Why should anyone wish to see god more than they wish to see this day?
Because people always look elsewhere for something “better.”

3271. Have you guessed that after death you yourself would not continue?
Yup.

3272. Have you dreaded the earth beetles?
This section of the survey has the strangest questions.

3273. Have you feared the future would be nothing to you?
Indeed.

3274. Is today nothing?
Everything is nothing.

3276. Do you believe in a collective unconsiouss?
Not really.

3277. Jung or Freud?
Freud, baby!

3278. What is a ‘fate worse than death’?
Grad school.

3279. What are the 5 main things you think about?/
Statistics, philosophy in general, Leibniz, the deterministic nature of the universe, the internet.

3280. Name someone you know.
Nick.
What is the biggest thing you have in common with them?
We’re philosophy dorks.

3281. Do you think that laws should be passed to regulate human breeding?
I think laws should be passed regulating how many children a person/pair of persons is allowed to conceive.
Yeah, I said it.

3282. Do you think they already exist in a subtle way?
Possibly some do, yes.

3283. Why is it that so many people are demanding the death penalty as punishment for a wider and wider range of crimes?
Is that the case? Probably because people seem to think that the best “punishment.”

3284. Is it partially to weed the nonconformists out of the gene pool?
The gene pool needs its nonconformists.

3285. What does it mean to be free?
Literally? To be unconstrained.

3286. What does it mean to be tamed or domesticated?
To be controlled by outside forces, be they physical, environmental, or technological.

3287. Is the human animal becoming more and more tame and domestic?
Yes.
If yes, what is causing this?
Our technology.
are we becoming more or less free?
Less free. Google owns us. Apple owns us. Facebook owns us. We’re screwed when Solar Flare Massacre 2012 hits us.

3288. Are you embaressed about your naked body?
I am.
If yes, is that freedom?
Why not? Am I not free to be embarrassed about myself?

3289. Are you the result of all of evolution up to this point?
Aren’t we all?

3290. The murderous person…how does he sleep?
As well as his conscience will allow.

3291. Your mother…is she living?
Indeed.
Have you been much with her?
She’s sitting next to me right now.
and has she been much with you?
Sure.
3292. Are these questions disturbing you?
Nope.
If yes, why?
I’ve answered weirder.

3293. What are you focused on?
Understanding stuff. Mainly statistics. Trying to make a contribution to the world.

3294. Have you ever admired wickedness?
Probably.

3295. Is the acomplishment of one person the accomplishment of all humanity?
It’s the accomplishment of the whole universe.
Why or why not?
We’re all connected.

3296. Is the imprisonment of one person the imprisonment of all humanity?
Maybe.
Why or why not?
We’re all connected.

3297. We’re just following anchient history. If I strip for you, will you strip for me?
Hahaha. Sure.

3298. Have you ever wished you had not so many clothes?
I love my clothes.

3299. What is the balance between conformity and individual freedom?
Something I’m sure we’re all seeking.

3300. What do these things have in common: nakedness, sex, killing, fighting, shitting, death?
Humanity?

Sleep is for Tacos

3101. Would it bother you if your priest, rabbi or other religious leader (teacher if you are not religious) started wearing a plain black mask all the time?
If yes, why?
Why would that bother me?

3102. Where do you look for the answers?
Everywhere.

3103. If you are driving and someone honks at you does it ruin your whole day?
Depends on if I really did something wrong.

3104. If you are driving and you get angry at another driver do you:
yell at them through their and your closed window?
Haha, sometimes.
open the window and yell at them?
Nope.
throw things at them?
Nope.
stop the car and start a fight with them?
That would be entertaining.
do something else?
Just cuss.

3105. I’m in the right lane on the parkway. There is an exit only lane on my right. A car pulls out from behind the pack into the exit only lane. When that car gets to the exit he is right in front of me only one lane to the right of me. Instead of exiting the parkway he tries to creep back in in front of me. I get pissed and honk the horn. He (I keep saying he but I couldn’t tell) throws up his hands as he slides in front of me. I think this is funny and toot again. He throws up his hands again. I do this about three more times and each time I toot he throws his hands in the air. Then my exit clomes up and I have to get off. From the time he got in front of me until I got off the parkway we drove approx. 20 feet. What you think about this situation?
Road rage is an interesting thing.

3106. Do you live in reality or in your ‘own little world’?
Oh, my own little world.
Which one is better?
Mine.

3107. Who’s your favorite soprano?
I’m not sure.

3108. Why is there porn geared towards straight men, gay men, lesbians but none really geared towards straight woman?
I thought there was quite a bit for the straight ladies.

3109. Is there more to being human than chemicles and impulses? If yes, what?
No.

3110. What if all the boys in jail could get out now together?
That would be frightening.

3111. If your shoes could talk what would they say?
“Don’t tread on me!” Haha, you see what I did there?

3112. How many windows are in your house?
Counting glass doors, six.

3113. Did you walk around your house and count them all?
No.
If not what did you do?
Memory powerz.

3114. Do you think people store memories as pictures or words?
Depends on the person. I store them as pictures.

3115. If you got sent to jail who would your one phone call be to?
Probably my mom.

3116. Pick a movie you have seen:
Mystery Men.
Give a 2 sentance review about it using the word ‘go’:
Have a go at “Mystery Men” if you have a penchant for overly cheesy movies. Few topics make for better cheesy movies than those about loser superheroes.

3117. Pick a song you like:
Symphonies
Give a 2 sentance review of it useing the word ‘come’:
Come for the music video. Stay for the music.

3118. Pick a person you like:
Sean!
Give a two sentance description of them useing the word ‘lunchbox’:
I should buy him a lunchbox full of guitar picks. He loves his guitars.

3119. What do these 3 words have in common: hippo, camp, us?
Teehee.

3120. If you could save time in a bottle, the first thing that you’d like to do is..
Throw it into the sun. I’d like to see what THAT would do!

3121. Who is the most powerful person in the world that you can think of?
I’d say Obama’s pretty powerful, just ‘cause I think the US is still a major superpower, if not the most threatening.

3122. If you were designing a mini-golf hole what would it be like?
That sounds…dirty.

3123. Why do you think certain people become targets for teasing in school or exclusion at work?
Because people suck.

3124. Why, in essays, is the word ‘I’ not allowed to be used when it is our own PERSONAL thoughts being expressed?
It depends on the essay, doesn’t it?

3125. What song would you like your doorbell to play?
The Macarena.

3126. Would you rather watch MTV or play GO FISH?
Both?

3127. What is an itch?
Something needing a scratch.

3129. Would you be capable of torturing another person?
I don’t know.

3130. How did Hitler’s army do this and still believe they were good people?
The power of being brainwashed by powerful people.

3131. Do you like poetry to rhyme?
Yes.

3132. Does ‘jewish’ describe a race or a religion?
It’s kind of transformed into describing a culture now, hasn’t it?

3133. How tall are you?
Shut up.

3134. If Hitler was capable of such cruelty to others, and he is human, does that mean that all humans are capable of this cruelty?/
Possibly.

3135. How long have you ever gone without sleep?
Quite awhile.

3136. Is a mouse a miracle?
If you give it a cookie.

3137. there are alcoholics, chocoholics, shoppoholics, practically anything can be an ‘oholic. What’s your ‘oholic?
Statistics. Statsohol!

3138. Does heaven have aphone number?
867-5309. Somebody made a grave error and misspelled “heaven” as “Jenny”
If it did would you call?
Why not?
Who would you ask to speak to?
Leibniz.
What would you say?
“HI SEXY, I WANT YOUR CALCULUS!”

3139. Fortune time!!
1,2, 3, or 4?
One.
if 1: 5, or 6?
Five.
if 2: 7 or 8?
if 3: 9 or 10?
if 4 11 or 12?
Now pick a letter between A and G:
C.
if A: 13 or 14?
if B: 15 or 16?
if C or D: 17 or 18?
Seventeen.
if E or F: 19 or 20?
if F: 21 or 22?
if G: 22 or 23?
———
you should now have two numbers. look at both numbers below and combine the sayings to get a fortune.
5: you are a very loving person
6: you will become very rich
7: you are too hard on yourself
8: cats will bring you bad luck
9: gremlins will eat all your cheese
10: you are going on a trip
11: someone you don’t know will be watching you
12: you will get what you want

13. and your life will be filled with romance
14. but you will fall in love with a babboon
15. and salt is lucky for you
16. or you will inherit a cough medicine factory
17. and you will not come back
18. and you will lose the remote
19. or your favorite team will win
20. and you were born under a lucky star
21. but the next person who leave you a note is attracted to you
22. and you will have a stalker soon
23. or your best friend will take you to a movie
I am a very loving person and I will not come back. That’s eerie.

3140. Do you vote?
I haven’t since 2009 (Canada!), but yes, I’ll return to voting.

3141. Are you always honest with yourself?
No.
Were you honest when you answered that question?
Yes.

3142. What kinds of diary names or entry titles make you specifically NOT want to read that diary?
AnYtHiNg TyPeD lIkE tHiS lOlZ!!!11

3142. Is writing an online diary more about being honest about yourself or entertaining your readers?
Depends on who you are and what you want to achieve. For me, it’s both.

3143. What are you the last of?
The Mohicans?

3144. Who do you really appreciate and what have you done lately to show that you appreciate them?
I really appreciate my parents. I try to do at least one thing a day to show my mom, and I try to tell my dad that every time I talk to him.

3145. When people do good deeds are they really doing them because they are a good person or because they want to feel like a good person? Or both?
Both.

3146. Somewhere far back in the survey I asked if Bill Gates or Mothe Thereasa was more successful. The most popular answer I have seen is ‘it depends on how you define success’. Well, this survey is about YOU isn’t it?
EGO ACTIVATE!

3147. Are people making up reality as they go along?
Are we all solipsists now?

3148. You may need a calculator for this one. Think of your weight. Divide it by 2.2. Multiply the answer by .8. What do you get?
36.72
That is how many grams of protein you need to eat every day to stay healthy. Do you think you eat enough?
I do indeed.

3149. What is your feeling about republicans?
Meh.

3150. What do you need to do?
Start work.
What do you need to stop doing?
A lot of things.

3151. If you were to start a club, what club would you start?
One that sells sandwiches.

3152. Are your hands and feet always cold?
Yes.
Maybe you have bad circulation.
Haha, probably. I think the Vancouver dampness did that to me.

3153. Have you ever been prank called?
Nope.

3154. Have you ever prank called someone?
Nope.
If yes, what was the prank?
No pranky.

3155. Have you ever gotteen into a conversation with someone when they or you have dialed a wrong number?
Nope.

3156. Have you ever just sat alone with no distractions for a whole hour and thought about things?
Indeed.
If yes, does the universe open up when you do this?
In a way, yes.

3157. Are you a genius?
HA.

3158. If you were going to design the PERFECT signifigant other…what flaws would you give them?
Would they really be flaws if it was the PERFECT significant other?

3159. If you answered NO to 3157, why do you doubt yourself?
Because I’m pretty much dumb as dirt.

3160. RARRRR!!! Scared ya, didn’t I?
HA, I’m invincible.

3161. Do feelings and ideas come from inside the mind or outside in the culture?
Both.

3162. When you have a feeling or an idea:
do you trust it?
Yes.
Even when people are telling you that you are wrong?
I try.
Even when people are laughing at you for it?
People suck.

3163. WHAT IS YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME? (YOUR MIDDLE NAME BECOMES YOUR FIRST NAME AND YOUR LAST NAME IS THE NAME OF THE STREET OF THE HOUSE YOU GREW UP IN):
Marie Pine. I chose our Troy St., but I suppose I should really choose Grant. So Marie Grant.

3164. What is the differance between spirituality and religion?
Not much, in my opinion.

3165. What is the speediest way you know of to get over a cold or flu?
Not getting sick. HA!

3166. Who is your favorite comedian?
Brian Regan. He rules.

3167. What do you think of Winona Ryder’s court case?
The what now?

3168. What was your last nightmare about?
Grad school, actually.

3169. Who are the people in your neighborhood?
Tucson people. I’ve never met any of them.

3170. During what decade was popular music the most emotional?
Who knows?
During what decade was popular music the best?
The 90s are pretty great, but that’s because I’m most familiar with that music.

3171. How did Frederick Douglas, escape slavery against all odds?
Desire, intelligence, and awesomeness.
There were thousands and thousands of slaves around him, why did only he manage to learn to read and write?
I doubt he was the ONLY one.

3172. Do you download porn? (be honest!)
Nope.

3173. Why is ‘go suck an egg’ or ‘your grandma sucks eggs!’ an insult?
Haha, not sure, actually.

3174.
Life is: strange.
I am: more strange.
I am not: a fan of crowds.
But I want to be: successful.
And I wish I could: not be in my own head sometimes.
3175. What is the highest achivement anyone could ever achieve in this department?
spiritual: I think this is too subjective to answer.
physical: I always thought it would be interesting to see how close one could get to surviving with no sleep, no food, and no water.
emotional: coming into an understanding of all their emotional states and their origins.
with their humanity: complete realization that we are all equal on this planet.

3176. Can you give step by step instructioons on how to think deeply?
Think. Make it deeper.

3177. DDid you ever see the Wizard of Oz with the sound all the way down while listening to pink Floyd’s The Wall?
No.
If yes, did you see what everyone says goes on when you do that?
Didn’t ever try it.

3179. Which two words of the following words goes together the best and why: mullet, brocollii, community, blue, phosphor, hammer, ocean, hand
Broccoli and ocean, ‘cause I like both.

3180. Are you dyslexic?
Nope.

3182. Are you overwhelmed?
Sometimes.
By what?
The screwed-up-ness of my brain.

3183. ‘My natural elasticity was crushed.’
What does that mean?
Good question.

3184. What is humanity evolving towards, do you think?
Destruction.

3185. Are you good at cracking codes?
I’d like to think so.
,t y dsud yp Ftoml upit ,o;l
“Mr. T says to drink your milk.” He pity the foo’ who gets osteoporosis!

3186. How many holes do you have in your body (ex. mouth)?
Hahahaha. Five million.

3187. Now there are ads on taxi cab hubcaps. Is there ANY free space LEFT to put more ads onto taxis???
The wheels.

3188. What’s the worst place to have a scab?
On your butt, ‘cause then when you scratch it it looks like you’re scratching your butt.

3189. Do you pick your scabs?
Sometimes. Nevous habit.

3190. Who’s goin’ chicken huntin’?
Huh?

3191. post ‘it’ note. What does ‘it’ stand for?
An existential, life-changing message that fits on a little sticky card.

3192. What is a tragedy?
Depends on who you are.

3193. Where is guam?
Way off the coast of the Philippians, I think.

3194. Are you bubbly?
No.
Do you drink bubbly?
No.

3195. Do you have caller ID?
No.

3196. Bewitched or Jeannie?
Meh. Neither.

3197. When will you be able to just do what you want to?
Probably never.

3198. How do people live with the fact that their time is short and priceless yet they get paid too little to waste too much of it?
Denial. Or just not having the thought cross their minds.

3199. OOGA! Make your best cave-pperson sound!
Cave people, as far as I’m aware, weren’t able to type well enough to represent their sounds on a computer screen.

3200. Who tells better gossip, your best friend or your answering machine?
My best friend IS my answering machine!

Today gets an F-

Hey, guess what? Today sucked. You get a survey!

3001. What is your half-birthday?
August 2nd.

3002. When is your un-birthday?
Every day but February 2nd?

3003. Do you like movies about:
time travel? Meh.
the 80’s? Yay 80s!
drugs? Depends on the drug.
crazy people? Depends on the crazy.
halucinations? Always entertaining.
aeroplanes? Indeed.
death? Sure.
Life? Aren’t most movies about life?
the meaning of life? Yay!
fate? Sure.

3004. If you said yes to any of the above you should see Donnie Darko. If you HAVE seen it, what’d you think?
Haven’t seen it.

3005. If you were going to write a book what would it be about?
I’d still like to get Prime out there. It’s about numbers and, obviously, prime numbers in particular.

3006. Is radio obsolete?
Nope. Radio is awesome and useful.

3007. Do you feel like you are entitled to have things without working for them?
Nope.

3008. If yes than why do you believe you feel this way?
N/A.

3009. If no, have you noticed that a lot of people around you feel this way?
Indeed. But I think we’re all guilty of feeling that way on occasion.

3010. If yes than why do you believe they feel this way?
Human nature.

3011. “An eight track sterio, a color tv in every room and a half a pievce of dope everyday. That’s the american dream, nigga'”
How do you feel about the above quote?
I want SEVEN color TVs in every room.

3012. What is it from?
No idea.

3013. What year is it from?
See above.

3014. Do you believe that you will someday be famous?
That would be nice. I’d use my fame for something good.

3015. What is YOUR IDEA of success?
Impacting a bunch of lives in a good way. Helping others. Feeling fulfilled.

3016. Do you believe that you will be successful?
God I hope so.

3017. Will you be successful without hard work?
For some reason I keep getting a feeling that somewhere down the line I’ll be in the right place at the right time and things will all work out. At the same time, though, I think it will take hard work to get me to that right place.

3018. What brings you bad luck?
Living in Vancouver.

Is it true that you:
3019. Claim to be goth, punk, prep, emo or any other lable?
Nope.

3020. Claim that your opinion is RIGHT?
On occasion.

3021. claim that your religion is RIGHT?
I have no religion.

3022. Claim to be a fan of a band when you really only like a few songs?
I claim to be a fan of Passion Pit, but that’s because I have the love of a thousand suns for their Sleepyhead.

3023. Do ANYTHING to fit in or be accepted by ANYONE?
I try to be “good” but not at the expense of being me.

3024. REFUSE to listen to the ideas or thoughts of others?
I try not to.

3025. tell others to shut up?
Only in jest.

3026. say I HATE (insert any band)?
No hate for music, man.

3027. say I HATE (insert anything)?
Haha, yeah.

3028. Only appreciate certain things that you LIKE?
Probably.

3029. like only one style of music?
Definitely not.

3030. like only one style of clothes?
I like colors.

3031. hate a style of music?
Nope.

3032. hate life?
On occasion.

3033. Is it true that you:
3034. don’t listen when parents, elders or authorities talk?
I listen.

3035. do everything parents, elders and authoritys tell you?
Most things, unless they’re unreasonable.

3036. do things or want things because it looked cool on mtv?
Hahaha. If MTV were my guide, I’d be pretty screwy. I mean, more so.

3037. hate everyone?
No.

3038. hate everything?
No.

3039. hate disco?
Disco rules!

3040. hate rap?
I’m not the biggest fan, but I don’t hate it.

3041-3045 These question is for the guys
You are at her home with her. Both of you have drank a little wine, enough to loosen the inhibitions while not getting tipsy. You have snugled on the couch and it’s a good time for bed. You’ve been romantic, but you’ve not made any big moves on her. You’re not sure if you are up to a night of love making or even if she’s in the mood.
She goes to the bedroom to put on something more comfortable… When she returns she is wearing an outfit that looks great on her and you notice that she has her hands tied in front of her, with a scrunchee…
She stands in front of you and giggles nerviously. You search for words to express how you feel, but before you can get any words out she gets on her knees in front of you and reachs out to hold your hand with both of hers. Your eyes find hers…
3041. How do you react to this?
3042. What message do you think she is sending?
3043. What do you do next?
3044. Is this a good way for her to approach her fantasy with you?
3045. If not, what would be a better way for her to approach you about wanting to be controled during sex(consider that just outright talking about it might be hard for her)?

3046-3050 These questions is for the girls
Bring it.

You are at his home with him. Both of you have drank a little wine, enough to loosen the inhibitions while not getting tipsy. You have snugled on the couch and it’s a good time for bed. You’ve been romantic, but you’ve not made any big moves on him. You’re not sure if you are up to a night of love making or even if he’s in the mood.
He goes to the bedroom to put on something more comfortable… When he returns she is wearing an outfit that looks great on him. He sits next to you. You kiss and kiss. You move your hands down his body to his chest and start unbuttoning his shirt but he stops you and whispers seductively..’A good slave unbuttons them with her teeth..and you do want to be my slave, don’t you?’

3046. What do you do?
Laugh to see if he’s serious.

3047. How do you react to this?
If he is, I’d probably go along with it. Don’t have much of an issue with it.

3048. What message do you think he is sending?
Haha, he’s horny.

3049. Is this a good way for him to approach his fantasy with you?
Sure.

3050. If not, what would be a better way for him to appraoch you about wanting to be in control during sex(consider that just outright talking about it might be hard for him)?
I think this would be an okay way.

Is it true that you…
3051. are politically correct?
HAHA no.

3052. are too nice to say how you feel?
To most people, yes.

3053. don’t think the world government affects you?
Everything effects everything else.

3054. think that all people who are fat are ugly?
NO.

3055. think all people who are thin are shallow?
Yeah, totally reasonable. Sure.

3056. think you are getting solid information from advertisements?
Nope.

3057. don’t research the products you use?
I try to do my research, but it’s hard to be “good” with this stuff.

3058. believe that the lives of the people you love are somehow more important than the lives of the 6 billion other peeople in the world?
Haha, dated survey. We’re at 7 billion now. And no, no one life is more important than another, though it can feel like it to that life’s loved ones.

3059. believe that the lives of your country men or woman are somehow more valuble than the lives of people from other countries?
Nope. See above.

3060. believe your ideas are somehow worth more than the ideas of others?
Nope.

3061. repress things rather than deal with them?
Welcome to my life.

3062. mindlessly self indulge ?
Only occasionally. Unless thinking of my little fantasy world counts.

3063. think there is only one right way?
Only in the sense of a deterministic universe.

3064. think that this one right way could possibly be right for ALL of the 6 billion people on this planet?
Absolutely not.

3065. Decide something is UNTRUE just because you don’t AGREE with it or you don’t LIKE it?
Nope.

3066. What do you think of the out-dated chinese custom of foot-binding (tieing a baby girl’s toes under her foot, even if you have to break the bone, making her walk with her toes under her foot(or hobble) because chinease men like small fett)?
“Chinease men like small fett?” Spell Check must’ve broken.
I think it’s pretty freaky.

3067. What do you think of plastic surgery?
Meh. If it was totally risk-free there are a few little things I’d like to change personally (nothing huge), but as of right now it’s not for me. It doesn’t bother me if others have it, either, unless they’re addicted to it.

3068. Is there a difference between foot binding and plastic surgery? What?
One involves invasive surgery, one doesn’t.
Are there any similarities between foot-binding and plastic surgery? What?
The altering of the body for appearance purposes, yes.

3069. Would you be likely to continue reading a book that began: ‘It was a bright, defrosted, pussy-willow day at the onset of Spring, and the newlyweds were driving cross-country in a large roast turkey.’?
That sounds entertaining.

3071. What came first, the acorn or the tree?
The protozoan.

3072. What is surrealism?
AWESOME.

If you were putting together a surrealist work of art, what would you do?
Try to delve into my subconscious.

3073. What did you do on Halloween?
Sat alone at my dad’s, hiding from Trick-or-Treaters.

3074. Some bees have made a comfortable nest for the winter inside your air conditionar. How would you remove the air conditioner from the window?
Call a bee exorcist.

3075. Why is quiet contemplation important?
Because that’s when the best ideas come to the forefront of one’s mind.

3076. Do you spend lots of time in quiet contemplation? How about any time?
I spend an obscene amount of time contemplating stuff.

If not, what distracts you?
Very few things.

3077. What is the lowest you have ever felt?
See April, May, and June 2010.

3078. Who has changed your life dramatically for the better?
Leibniz.

3079. Is all you christmas shopping done?
Haha, it’s January, yo.

3080. Who is the greatest writer you can think of and why?
Nabokov. Holy freaking crap crackers, that man can manipulate the English language.

3081. Are people either good or evil?
Nope.

3082. Can people be BOTH good an evil?
Durh.

3083. Is there good in a rapist or a murderer?
Yes.

Is there evil in Mother Thereasa?
Yes.

3084. You are in a classroom setting. A teacher has asked for a surrealist project. One person comes in with cards. Each card has a picture. Some of the pictures are a breast, a penis, a urinal, open heart surgery, a woman sucking on a vaccum tube, etc. On the back of each picture is a phrase like ‘Fuck you and all of your lesbian fish eating friends’ or ‘people who speak in metaphors oughtta shampoo my crotch’. The artist asks each person to take a random card, go around the room and at their turn hold up the card with the picture side out and read the phrase on the back.

Would you do it?
Why not?

How would you feel about it?
I don’t see the surrealism aspect of it, but I would be interested.

What do you think the artist’s intent is?
Shock and awe!

3085. Are you satisfied?
No.

3087. How fast do you drive?
The speed limit.

3088. What do you want that you don’t need?
A new iPod. I already have one with 80 GB so I don’t really need a bigger one.

3089. What do you have that you wish you didn’t?
Issues.

3090. What does it mean when someone suggests that you don’t own your possettions, they own you?
That we’re tied down to our physical possessions enough so that we use them to define ourselves.

3091. Where do you get motivation?
The prospect of happiness.

3092. Did you ever wanna get with one of your teachers?
Hahahahaha…

Did you ever actually get with one?
Nope.

3093. Have you ever had this happen, where one day you completely believe one thing and the next day you don’t believe it anymore?
Probably, but I can’t recall when this last happened.

If yes, do you lie about your change of beliefs in order to appear consistant?
I try not to lie.

3094. Do you hide things about yourself from others?
Yes.

If so why?
Because I’m a weirdo.

Is it because you are afriad they will be scared?
No, just weirded out.

Or because YOU are scared?
Everyone’s scared.

3095. Do you recognize that some part of you is evil or do you feel like you are all good?
I wish I were a better person.

3096. If everyone were flying flags and putting up yellow ribbons in honor of the people who died in a war and someone put up black bows and ribbons all over the top of therir house what would you think?
I’m not sure.

Would you want them to take it down?
No.

Why?
We don’t know what it means; we shouldn’t tell them to remove it.

3097. Is a foot massage meaningless or does it have implications?
Depends on the people involved.

3098. Are you sick of technology yet?
Some of it. Smartphones can go die. So can Twitter.

3099. After tattoos and piercings, I believe the next big thing will be implants (horns, metal plates, etc) and after that will come genetic alteration (wings, purple skin, etc).

Would you have any of this done to you?
Probably not.

Would you let your kids have it done?
After a certain age when they were sure they truly wanted it done, sure.

What do you think the next big thing in body modification would be?
I think the up-and-coming things now are tattoos that glow under black light and stuff so that they show up during clubbin’ but aren’t visible during working hours.

3100. What’s the most insulting thing you could come up with to say to someone?
“You’re just like George W.!”

Also, happy birthday dad, wherever you may be on your cruise.

Is the nose the scenterpiece of the face?

2901. have you ever written a letter to:
a friend: I’d be surprised if I haven’t, but I can’t remember doing so
a lover: Yes, but I never sent it
a celebrity: Nope
congress/house/reps: Nope
the president/leader of your country: Nope

2902. Why are ciggarette companies allowed to manufacture and sell ciggarettes when they are so unhealthy and dangerous?
Because we’re a relatively hypocritical society that bans certain “bad” substances (marijuana, coke, etc.) while allows others to be sold given their buyers are old enough (nicotine, alcohol). Don’t ask me, man.

2903. Do you chat with people in an elevator?
Not usually.

2904. What’s your favorite Jack Nicholson movie?
Was he in The Shining? I never saw that movie but I’ve seen like 40 parodies of it.

2905. Who should play the part of Superman?
William Shatner.

2906. Do you like when your friends and your mate’s friends hang out?
I don’t have a mate.

2907. Doritos or Cheetos?
Cheetos!

2910. Do you brush your teeth three times a day?
Twice.

2911. Should I stop making question swith multiple parts and just count each actual question as a question?
That would certainly make it easier for you.

2912. What gives your ego a boost?
Not much.

2913. What knocks your ego down?
Me being stupid.

2914. Live and let live or live and let die?
Live and let live.

2915. What do you think of Damien Hirst’s art piece Mother and Child, which is half a cow in formaldedhyde?
That sounds intriguing.

2916. Why is it that 70 percent of americans Do Not want to go to war with Iraq and yet we are going to war with Iraq anyway?
Because the balance of power in this country is screwy.
Is this democracy?
As we apparently define it, yes.

2917. Imagine you have two chices of what life you can live—One: You are provided with meals, medicine, clothes and shelter. You are always with your family. You can lie in the sun and smoke, drink, play, cook, etc.. There will be certain rules you must follow such as no killing, no hurting others, no leaving the commune you were born in, no stealing, no tv, no newspapers and no books. OR Two: You are turned loose in the world with nothing. You start out cold and hungry. You may stay cold and hungry forever but you also have the opportunity to try and make a life for yourself. This will take a lot of hard work and there is no guaruntee you will ever live comfortably.
Which life do you choose?
Two.
WHY?
I want my books, dammit!

2918. Why is there no ‘Mr. America’ pageant?
Good question.
Should there be?
YES!

2919. If something offends you do you feel that it has no right to exist?
No.

2920. Why do advertisers seem to believe that guys will buy any product that a hot girl in a bikini is sitting next too?
Previous proof that this works?

2921. What would you do if your mom had a fight with a male aquantance and you heard an answering machine message he left her cursing at her, calling her names and being very disrespectful?
I’d probably resist the urge to beat the crap out of him until I got the OK to do so from my mom.

2922. What do you represent?
Claudianess.

2923. What message does ___ send when given as a birthday present?
flowers: Love you!
slippers: You have cold feet
candles: Hopefully you won’t burn your house down, but I feel the need to provide you the means for doing so
diamond necklace: I have money! Watch me buy stuff!
gift certificate: I either can’t think of a good gift for you or you explicitly said “get me a gift certificate.”
cash: Buy me something!
books: YAY LITERACY!

2924. Have you ever completed a paint by number?
Probably.
If yes of what?
Haha, no idea.

2925. How long has it been since you colored in a coloring book?
Very long.

2926. What have you been caught doing?
Spazzing.

2927. Does temptation make you do what you love?
Nope, doing what I love makes me do what I love.

2928. Do you have an gadgets in the house that you don’t know how to use? What?
I’m gadget-savvy.

2929. Do you read the instructions to things or skip them?
I usually read the instructions, even if I know what I need to do already.

2930. Will yu ever reach your full potential?
I really, really hope so.

2931. Who is your biggest fan?
Good question.

2932. Who do you take care of?
Anyone I can.
Who takes care of you?
My parents. They’re awesome.

2933. Do you think that lawyers should only argue cases when they feel like the client is in the right?
Hahaha, that would certainly change things.
If you were a lawyer would you argue cases when you felt like your client was completely wrong?
If I were a lawyer I’d jump off a bridge.

2934. Is it sexy in here or is it just me?
Just you.

2935. You are giving out your phone number to a HOTTIE by writing it on a napkin. Do you write a little note or draw a picture too? If yes, what?
I’d draw a smiley. Or a flower or something snazzy like that.

2936. Can you fold paper into anything (a hat, a swan, a boat, etc)? What?
I can make a box with a lid. I can make a fortune teller. I can make a piece of paper folded in half.

2937. How can a girl get a guy-she-is-dating’s mom to like her better?
Be genuine, be kind, be polite.

2939. Do you like answering questions about:
your life? Yes.
your taste? Sure.
tv? Why not?
music? Yay! Yes.
art? Yup.
politics? Not particularly.
life? Is this different than my life?
religion? Bah.
issues? Not if they’re political.
sex? Haha.
loved ones? Sure.
favorites? Indeed.
objects? Yeah.
math? Yay math!
philosophy? Yay philosophy!
hypothetical situations? Sometimes.
things that require lots of thought? Yes.

2940. The mortuary science department is having a bake sale. Does this strike you as funny?
Meh.

2941. What would you think of a new reality tv game show where real life criminals on death row competed in life threatening tasks for the prize of a reduced sentance?
Sounds…frightening.
Did you know that they are considering making this a show? Would you watch it?
No and no.

2942. What was the last song you looked up the words to?
Fleet Foxes’ Helplessness Blues. AWESOME song.

2943. What Saturday morning cartoons do you like?
I’m not a big cartoon person anymore. But Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy is still fantastic.

2944. If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?
Can God create a boulder so heavy He cannot lift it?

2944. What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?
It’s the shape of the shirt, isn’t it?

2945. Would you alter your routine if there was a sniper in your area?
Hahaha, uh, yeah.
If so how?
I wouldn’t go that way?

2946. Is castration a good punishment for extreme or repeat sexual offenders?
Sure.

2947. If you are a girl have you ever experianced penis envy?
Freud would say so, yes. He’d have quite a bit to say about Claude, haha.

2948. Imagine you are teaching a class of sixth graders. A the start of the year you tell them, “If you come away with class and have learned only ONE THING, I hope that you learned….(finish the sentence)
“…that learning can be a fun and engaging activity. And that Leibniz rules.”

2949. If you were being interviewed for a job in a clothing store how would you sell yourself to the prospective employers?
Probably not by dressing the way I usually dress, haha.

2950. How do you stop pop up ads?
STAB THEM

2951. You are alone. You take a bus to the mall. The stop is right in the mall parking lot. You window-shop. You don’t buy anything. You want to get back on the bus to go home when you realize you have lost all your money. You have no cell phone. All the payphones are jammed with gum. You can not get it out. How do you get the $1.50 you need to get on the bus and get home???
“All the Payphones are Jammed with Gum” sounds like a ridiculously good band name to me. I’d just wait until the bus came and explain my situation. Most bus drivers I’ve come across are pretty lenient with that kind of stuff if people seem to be sincere.

2952. How long would it take you to organize your bedroom?
It’s organized, captain!

2953. Make up a nickname for your bedroom:
Lawrence of Arizona.

2954. What comes after: I’ve got a love-a-lee bunch of coconuts (diddly dee)/There they are a-standing in a row.
“Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head…”

2955. Where ARE the wild things?
IN MY PANTS

2956. You get a six cd changer for the car, only problem is that you know that once you put in six cd’s you can NEVER take them out. Which 6 cd’s do you put in?
1. Guggenheim Grotto’s …Waltzing Alone
2. Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells
3. Deep Forest’s Deep Forest
4. Lady Gaga’s The Fame Monster
5. Good Charlotte’s The Young And The Hopeless
6. The Beatles’ 1

2957. Let’s play Jeopardy. (Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Dooooo-)
I’ll give some answers..you give the questions.
Ready? Begin.
The answer is:
Purple
The primary color of McDonald’s Grimace
Yellow
A chromatically-titled Coldplay song
Pepsi
Coca-Cola’s main competitor
Peace
Lisa
The eldest daughter Simpson
Cotton
A white, fluffy material used for making clothes, among other things.
Flag
France’s is red, white, and blue; Finland’s is white and blue, and Libya’s is green.
42
6 x 7.

2958. Pick a letter.
O!
List some great words starting with that letter:
Ooid, octogon, orange, octogenarian, orbific, orrery.

2959. Is eight days a week enough to show you care?
Only if I’m a non-Beatle.

2960. Have you told your parents you love them today?
Indeed.

2961. What is the difference between a number two pencil and any other kind of pencil?
The numbers on pencils indicate the hardness of the lead, with larger numbers indicating harder leads.

2962. Have you ever cross-dressed?
It rules.

2963. Are we living in a world without end?
Doubtful.

2964. What do you think of that couple that was just on the news who kidnapped a 16 year old girl for a week and forced her to be their sex slave?
This species disappoints me.

2965. Wanna watch a movie about a cheerleading competition?
Sure.

2966. Are you singing in the rain?
It’s a glorious feelin’.

2967. Should the sopranos actors ahve been allowed to march in the St Patrick’s Day parade?
Haha, what?

2968. Is oral sex. anal sex or regular sex more intimate?
I’d say regular, but I’m not the one to ask.

2969. Is it time to switch to Decaf?
The only thing I drink aside from water is tea, and no, you don’t get to take my caffeine out of it.

2970. Why is it that the truth hurts?
Because we’re all more flawed than we care to think.

2971. How do you feel about:
ticketmaster? I used it once. Worked fine.
scalpers? Never had to deal with one.

2972. What are you guilty of?
More than I care to admit here.

2973. Have you ever done any of the following in order to catch a buzz or get high?
sniffed glue: No.
sniffed magic markers: I used to try and smell Sharpies ‘cause everyone said they stunk. I was not a smart child.
ate paste: Nope.
drank Nyquil, rRobitussen or any other Over-the-counter drug: Ew.
‘huffed’ (inhaled or sniffed) any kind of fabric softner, cooking spray or other household product: I blew a spray of Pam up my nose once, but it was totally unintentional. I had the nozzle pointed the wrong way.
whip-its: What is a whip-it?

2974. What gives you inner stregnth?
Inner weight training.

2975. ::eyes you suspiciously::Where have all the COOKIES gone?
Don’t look at me, all I’ve got are M&M’s.

2976. What is a good gift for someone you don’t like so that it SEEMS to be nice but really ‘gets’ them somehow?
I can’t think of anyone I don’t like.

2977. If you don’t like the service at a restraunt would you skip the tip?
No.
Why or why not?
Unless the service was absolutely heinous, I’d still tip knowing that it is the main source of income for the waiter/waitress.

2978. Apples or peaches or pumpkin pie?
Who’s not playin? Holler “aye.”

2979. What Race/nationality was Jesus?
Holy?

2980. What was one evening you’ll never forget?
HAHAHAHA no you don’t get a description of the best evening of my existence, sorry.

2981. Name 13 ways to look at a blackbird:
Isn’t that a poem?

2982. Trick or Treat?
Treat!

2983. If you had money to burn, what ‘toy’ would you spend your money on (think monopoly game with real money, luxory boat, a train layout that takes up a house, etc.)?
I think at this point in time I’d get a car, just ‘cause it’d be nice to finally have one.

2984. Are you having trouble with aol 8.0?
No.
Or if you don’t have aol…have you ever been to a podiatrist?
Hahahaha, awesome replacement question.

2986. When people lose weight, where does it go?
It turns into antimatter! Inform Jenny Craig she is DESTROYING OUR WORLD!

2987. Your mate/partner/wife or husband/longterm boy or girlfriend/etc. has SOMEHOW gotten his or her FAVORITE celebrity’s attention. Your sweetie has always thought this celeb was so sexy and now the celeb kinda fancies your sweety as well(although the celeb is not interested enough to stick around for more than one night). Your sweetie wants to have a one night stand with the celeb. Knowing that this is your sweeties one and only chance to bang (or even hang out with) a celebrity (ESPECIALLY their FAVORITE celebrity) you would say:
Think before you act, but act before you regret.

2988. Have you ever seen an Ed Wood film?
Nope.
If no, aren’t you curious to see a movie by the person known as the worst director of all time?
To Wikipedia I go!

2989. What kind of bread do you like to eat (white, rye, potatoe, grain, whole wheat, etc)?
The only form in which I eat bread now is crouton.

2990. Are you emotionaly articulate?
I’m emotionally spaz-tacular, unfortunately.

2991. Does everything happen for a reason?
Yes. Deterministic universe FTW.

2992. Do you take a piece of those you have loved and carry it around forever?
In a way, yes.

2993. Is it true that the child is worth ten of the parent?
Huh?

2994. Can you think of a door that has closed in your life?
Yes, but we won’t discuss it here ‘cause I don’t feel like being even more depressed about it than I already am.
Can you think of a window that has opened?
I suppose living in a new state can bring about some opened windows.

2995. What does this mean to you: ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’?
Things won’t be created/invented unless they’re needed by someone.
Do you believe that necessity is also the mother of:
courage?
No.
survival skills?
Instinct.
independance?
Yeah.

2996. What helps you to get over a Major heartache?
Time.

2997. Can you depend completely upon yourself?
Eh.
have you ever tried?
Partially.

2998. How can you tell the differance between the end of one part of your life and the beutiful begining of the next part?
HA. Beautiful beginning. Funny.
(I’m a bit bitter at the moment, can you tell?)

2999. Have you ever read an stories by Kate Chopin?
Yes, I read The Awakening.
If not, I suggest that you do.
Already done!

3000. Do you often make the best discoveries when you really weren’t looking for anything (or anyone)?
Indeed.