The Boastful Little Toaster Boasts the Most Toast

I got lost in Brink Hall today. Just like old times.
Anyway, I have a super cool idea for an R project that will involve a lot of frustration graphing. It will involve heat maps and crossword puzzles…that is all.

In the meantime…

3801. Who is your favorite Lord of the Rings charater and why?
I’ve neither seen nor read any LotR (and don’t intend to). However, seeing as how the next 15 questions are so are about the series, I’m just going to make some crap up like I know what I’m talking about. Okay? Okay.

3802. In the Lord of the Rings…how do the characters go on when the forces against them are so powerful?
Do Hobbits have powers? If so, powers. If not, PO-TAY-TOES.

How can they go on when so many awful things have happened?
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em…(yes, this IS the only LotR reference I know. It IS LotR, right? ‘Cause I’m fully prepared to reference this at least two more times).

3803. What is it that makes Middle Earth worth saving?
It’s the crème filling between the two hard cookies of Lower Earth and Upper Earth.

3804. Is Frodo making a personal sacrifice by taking the ring to be destroyed?
Only if it’s his ring. I’d be pissed if I found a cool ring and had to burn it/throw it in a pit/incinerate it with soul power/whatever the hell he’s supposed to do with it.

3805. What would you do in Frodo’s place?
Go reincarnate some dodos, just so I could run a farm called Frodo’s Dodos.

3806. When you saw the two towers did you really want the Ents (Treebeard etc.) to get involved in the war?
Sure, why not?

3807. Why didn’t Merry and Pippin just allow the Ents to take them home to the shire?
‘Cause the Ents were too busy making fun of Pippin’s name.

What could two tiny hobbits do in a great war?
Advocate tiny peace.

3808. Why did the elves go to Helm’s Deep?
They weren’t having fun in Helm’s Shallow.

3809. Who is the most heroic LOTR character and what makes them a hero?
Stevie. He’s heroic because he has to deal with Hobbits.

3810. What characters in LOTR put their own interests before the interests of all?

What characters put the interests of all above their own interests?
The unselfish ones, I would think.

3811. Aragorn left the elvish girl he loved. How could he leave someone he loved?
Frodo stole their engagement ring.

Isn’t love the highest thing that there is?
It’s not higher than Upper Earth.

What could he possibly have valued higher than love that he left her for?
Tacos. Everybody loves tacos.

Do you agree with him?
Damn straight.

3812. What LOTR character displays the most humanity?

3813. What did you notice that was different between the Two Towers book and movie?
The first involved reading. The latter involved watching.

3814. Why is Frodo so kind to Gollum?
‘Cause Frodo’s a nice guy?

3815. You are in Helm’s Deep on the eve of battle. Do you put on a suit of armor and fight, or crawl into the caves and hope to be protected?
I hop in the Batmobile and zoom out of there as quickly as possible.

3816. What have you risked your life for?
PO-TAY-TOES–okay I’m done.

3817. With the constant threat of violence, war, nukes, terror, chemicle weapons, etc. aren’t we all in a similar position to those in the Lord of the Rings?
You callin’ me a HOBBIT?!

3818. How can we go on when the evil in this world is so powerful?
Out of sight, out of mind.

How can we go on when so many awful things have happened?
Repression is a powerful thing.

3819. What is it that makes our Earth worth saving?
Good question.

3820. Who’s responsibility is it to save our world?

3821. Who was more technologically advance in LOTR, the ‘good guys’ or the ‘bad guys’?
The neutral guys. They have Apple products.

3821. What was Tolkien saying by causing the Ents (trees) to come together with the river (by breaking the dam) and over throw Sauromon?
Haha, flashbacks to Howard the tree in Fallout 3. Weirdest. Quest. Ever.

3822. Should Wormtoung have been killed?
That sounds like a Pokemon.

Should Gollum?
From what little I’ve seen of Gollum, he’s obnoxious.

Why or why not?
However, nobody should be killed because of that.

3823. In the battle for Middle Earth, which LOTR character would you most like to be like and why?
I’d like to be the guy who wins.

3824. Which character do you think you actually WOULD be the most like?
Gollum’s obnoxious, so I’d probably be him.

3825. What is the overall ___ that you took away with you from this movie?

lesson or message?
It doesn’t matter if you’re hobbit or human…potatoes rock.

Warm fuzzies.

**End LOTR**

3826. Why do most people associate being spiritual or connected to the world as being a hippy?
Do they?

3827. Why is passion and honest emotion equated with hallmark cards?
Are they? The only thing I think of when I think of Hallmark cards is my dad.

3828. What words set off alarms in your brain?
I have an alarm in my brain? Why the hell doesn’t it go off when it’s time for me to get up in the morning?! Slacker brain.

3829. Are you dancin in the dark?
Haha, I should, given how I dance.

3832. Is hell REALLY other people?
Sartre was spot-on.

3833. Or would it be more hellish to live totally without other people?
No. No it wouldn’t. Hell = other people.

3834. Legos or linkin logs?
Legos, fool!

3835. What books have you read more than once?
I actually haven’t re-read a book in a long time, what with my trying to finish my 200 Books list. Though I did re-read The Caine Mutiny for like the fortieth time a few years back.

3836. Do you get different things out of reading a book a second time a year or more after reading it the first time?
Of course.

Is it because you are a different person after time passes?
Yeah, in a way. You’ve acquired more knowledge about the world and are able to reinterpret the book in a different light given what you now know.

3837. The person who goes to ____ is not the same person who comes back. Fill in the blank with anything you think fits.
Band Camp.

3838. Quick! Empty your brain here!
No! My brain contents are staying right where they are tonight, thank you.

3839. What’s the best movie soundtrack?
Apollo 13.

3840. Tissues with or without aloe?

3841. Are you on any medication?
NO! And never again.

3842. Does any part of your own body disgust you?
Pretty much all of it.

If yes, isn’t that odd? What could have caused that feeling of disgust with your own body?
Not odd. Human nature.

3843. Want some popcorn?
Nah, not right now.

3844. What if Atlas shrugged?
Then maybe Ayn Rand would have fallen off the planet.

3845. Who has led the most interesting life?
The Most Interesting Man in the World, of course.

3846. What movies are coming out next year that you are looking forward to?
I have no idea and I don’t care. Not a big movie person.

3847. If someone is half man and half dog is he his own best friend?
Sure. Heck, he can lick his own butt now.

3848. Paper or plastic?

3849. Why did things make sense in childhood, but they don’t now?
Things made sense in childhood?

3850. Is it crazy time?
It’s always crazy time with Claudia.

3852. If there were no laws and no rules name 3 things you would do that you don’t/wouldn’t/can’t do now?
1. Stay home all day and do stats/play Fallout/acquire music
2. Nakedness all the time
3. Public orgies!

3853. It’s a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is:
the 70’s?
Something with lots of colors.
Glam rock! That’d be awesome.
Under the sea?

3854. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restraunts and put them back in the sea?
Yes! Every time we go to Red Lobster. Which is not often. But every time we go to Red Lobster!

3855. How funky is your chicken?
Pretty funky.

How loose is your goose?
Not as loose as a moose.

3856. What’s your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck billed platypus, moose, skunk?
Skunk. They’re pretty and I can’t smell their stink, so why not pet the hell out of them?

3857. priest, rabbi, or other religios leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding?
Sea captain!

3858. Do you think that it’s okay for people to write their own wedding vows?
Why wouldn’t it be?

3859. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best.
Your House or Yard
The Beach
A Park
A Forest
A Catering Hall
Las Vegas
A church or temple
A Courthouse
On a Boat
On a Space Station

3860. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick?
Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake, Joan Jett, John Denver, Baby Eve (the first human clone), Jennifer Lopez, Johnny Depp, George W Bush, David Bowie, Charleton Heston, Ralph Nader, Moby, Jeff Bridges, Kelly Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden, The Pope, Eminem, Madonna
Aren’t a few of these dudes already dead? I pick…The Pope, Bill Clinton, David Bowie, Moby, John Denver, Madonna, and…why not? Bush.

3861. Rank the following dead people in order of who you would like to spend the day with. 1 = you’d like to hang out with them the most.
Joan of Arc
Groucho Marx
John Lennon
Joey Ramone
Anton Levay
Jack Kerouac
John F Kennedy
Lucielle Ball
Jim Morrison

3862. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can’t be yourself) who would you give it to?
Whoever wanted it and was the first to ask for it. Any takers?

3863. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to?
Probably no one. Immortality would be a pretty crappy thing to have bestowed on you if you didn’t want it. There really wouldn’t be anything you could do about it, either.

3864. Name a person you love:
Name a person you admire:
Name a friend:
Name a relative:
Aunt Vicki
If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why?
Well, Leibniz is already dead, so does that count?

3865. Would you rather be one of Santa’s elves or a dentist?
Haha, for a second there I thought that read “would you rather KISS one of Santa’s elves or a dentist?” I’d rather be a dentist. I’d probably rather kiss one, too. Good oral hygiene and all.

3866. When you first meet people what do you talk to them about?
Depends on the people and the context.

3867. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one?
This would be like the least exciting thing to ever happen to me.

3868. Finish the sentences.

In a world where:
Avril Lavigne rules

He was:
A boy

She was:
A girl

Together, they were:
Pretty obvious

Why do so many movie trailers start off by saying ‘In a world..’?
Because it adds DRAMA!

3869. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers:
Captain Apathy and his sidekick Meh.

3870. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the salvation army. The salvation army turned the money down saying they didn’t want dirty gambling money.

Did they do the right thing?
I don’t know about right vs. wrong, but I think they did a foolish thing. He (hopefully) didn’t’ acquire the money illegally, so why is it “dirty”?

3871. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to?
Probably the Humane Society.

3872. What’s the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of?
I have no idea.

3874. What kind of punishment do you feel the following crimes deserve:
premeditated murder?
Life sentence. I’d say capital punishment for this and the next, but that seems so inefficient and ineffective the way we have it now that it wouldn’t be worth it in my opinion.

date rape?
Life sentence.

drug sales?

Illicit drug sales?
Jail. Community service.

drug use?
Again, illegal drugs? If illegal, jail time + possible rehab. If regular, party times and required sharing.

I can’t remember the difference between robbery and burglary. Burglary is actually just the breaking and entering portion of “I’m going into this dwelling to steal stuff!” isn’t it? So jail. Community service. Having to pay for the damages.

3875. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at new year’s eve, who would be the lucky one?
Do they have to be living?

3876. You have just taken two sexy people prisoner because they found your hide out and you think they are spies. What do youd do: kill them, hump them or have crumpets and tea?
This is the best survey question EVER.

3877. What is your new year’s resolution?
Stop being an idiot. It’s not going so well.

3878. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq?
Antarctica. The penguins are ANGRY!

3879. Would you ever have plastic surgery?

3880. How can George Bush be considered a Christian when he a war-monger and the ten comandments say do not kill?
Good question. Ask a Christian.

3881. What is the most inetesting premise for a reality tv show that you can think of?
I thought that dream I had a few weeks back about “Neil and Prey” was a pretty awesome premise idea.

3882. Who is the Hollywood Star next to die of a drug overdose?
Hopefully none of them, but the odds of that are pretty much zero.

3883. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven’t met or spoken to them off of the computer?

3884. When you hear the song puff the magic dragon what do you think?
Pete’s Dragon. Just ‘cause.

3886. What does ‘boo’ mean dn how did it become a slang word of affection?
I don’t know, but I find it a pretty obnoxious slang for some reason.

3887. How often do you stretch?

3888. Have you ever wished that you didn’t have to be yourself?
All the freaking time.

3889. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders?
Earthworms. That would feel cool!

3890. What are some things that for most people go unsaid?
“I love you.”

3891. I said, ‘Play me the best song in the world.’ You put on:
Sleepyhead. Are you kidding? Though this and this are gaining plays like none other for me.

3892. What happened last year that you would like to forget?
Pretty much everything.

3893. What are you not able to do alone?
Be with others.

3894. Do you feel more connected to earth air fire or water and why?
I always used to think I had power over the wind, so I guess I’ll have to say “air.” I’m an air sign, too, after all…

3895. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece
Life and seawater, because the former probably originated in the latter.

3896. If con is the opposite of pro, what’s the opposite of progress?
Old joke is old.

3897. Have you ever wanted to meet the inspectors with the numbers for names(i.e. inspected by 36)?

3899. If you could change 1 thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be & why?
I would have gone and exercised today. Was too depressed this morning to do anything.

3900. What is the most bizarre thing you’ve ever done?
Um. Do you know me?

What sayest thou? Speak!

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