So remember a couple days ago when I mentioned that my brain likes to fire off a fair number of weird, vivid, memorable dreams near the start of the year? Here’s another one for you!
In last night’s dream, I actually am not sure if I was part of the thing I was dreaming about or just watching it on TV. That part I can’t remember. But the rest of it I can, so we’re just going to say that I was watching this on TV in the dream, because it was a TV show I was dreaming about. Specifically, it was the show 7th Heaven. If you’re not familiar with the show, it ran from 1996-2007 and was heavy-handed with lots of Christian themes. It focused on the family of Reverend Camden, which consisted of his wife Annie and like nine kids, and their Wacky Christian Adventures. One such adventure, for example, was the Rev finding a blunt in the house and going berserk “I WILL DRUG TEST THE LOT OF YOU HEATHENS” on the kids because he wanted to know which one brought the Devil’s Grass into their holy house.
It was a…weird show.
Anyway. In the dream I am watching(?) 7th Heaven on TV and in the episode, one of the Camden kids has befriended some other kid (he’s like…eight? Nine?) and have brought him home to hang out with him. This kid is like perfect: no hair out of place, perfect clothes, perfect speech an annunciation, perfect response to everything that he is asked—and as the episode goes on, I think to myself in the dream that I remembered this episode from having seen it before. Specifically, the “big twist” is that this kid is actually Jesus.
Yup. Literal, actual Jesus, disguised as a nine-year-old kid.
The episode cuts to this scene where JesusKid is finishing the last book in a huge bookshelf of novels and one of the Camden kids – I think it’s Matt – says something like, “there’s no way you could have read all those books so quickly. You’d have to be some sort of divine being to have done that.”
Jesus Kid just smiles, and Matt takes one of the books and says “Okay, fine. But I’m going to read along with you just to make sure you’re reading them all like you say you are.”
Cut to a different part of this bizarre 7th Heaven universe: a farm. There’s a mother and a daughter out working in a field when the mother jumps up and starts freaking out about one of their sheep escaping its pen and going over to the Camden’s field. Now I’m pretty sure that in real life 7th Heaven, the Camdens lived in town, as they lived in a church-owned house that somehow held the Rev, the wife, and their massive brood. But in the dream, I guess they lived on a farm…?
Anyway, the mother and daughter start absolutely freaking out, because I guess there is some sort of giant pond between their farm and the Camdens’ and the sheep was in danger of drowning in the pond.
Cut back to Jesus Kid. Using what I’m assuming is his God-bestowed sixth sense, he suddenly seems to realize the sheep is in trouble, and he jumps up and runs out to the fields, much to the confusion of Matt and everyone else.
He bolts to the pond as fast as he can and sees the sheep drowning near the middle of the pond. Then – I kid you not – he just calmly walks on the pond water out to the sheep. He touches the sheep, which grants it the ability to walk on water as well, and the two return to the Camden side of the pond.
So, walking on water: obviously a Jesus thing, right? But the Camdens don’t make that connection. They chalk the whole thing up to an optical illusion (???) and are just happy that the sheep is safe.
Jesus Kid, meanwhile, waits until everyone is busy doting over the sheep, then disappears into the ether with a weird little halo glow about his head.
Then the episode is over.
I literally had to Google “7th Heaven Jesus episode” when I woke up this morning, because while I was sure that no episode exactly like the one in my dream existed, I was convinced that there was some episode where the kids meet Jesus without even knowing it.
7th Heaven creator Brenda Hampton, I am disappoint.
When Nate and I were on our walk last weekend, we somehow got on the topic of shows we used to watch when we were kids and I mentioned that Talespin was one of my absolute favorites. My dad had eight or so VHS tapes that each had two or three episodes on them and they were awesome.
Anyway, talking about Talespin made it so that the theme song lodged itself nicely in my brain for approximately a week.
I’d also forgotten how fantastic Don Karnage was. He was always my favorite.
This is a very interesting analysis of how and why The Simpsons, which actually died somewhere around season 9 or 10, is still so relevant to us through the way we’ve memed the hell out of it.
(Steamed Hams discussion starts at 8:06.)
Seriously, if you enjoy the way the internet seems to just latch on to certain things and make them into Things™, you’ll like this.
Was sad. Then Whose Line helped a little.
I have no idea how many of my readers watch Riverdale (or watched it back when it was relatively sane*), but this video was in my recommended today and I can’t stop laughing at the accuracy.
That black hood one, oh my god.
*First season = typical teen drama TV, not too bad; second season = WTF
Edit: OH MY GOD SEASON THREE WHAT DRUGS DID YOU TAKE AND CAN I HAVE SOME
I saw this clip on Robot Chicken when it originally aired.
I think about it a lot for some reason.
Anyway. Sorry, don’t have anything else to say today.
Change my mind.
The best part about that idea is that Squidward existed prior to the generally agreed-upon “lower limit” of the Millennial (SpongeBob started in 1999; most of the definitions of “Millennial” I’ve seen use the birth year range of early 1980s to early 2000s). This means that many Millennials grew up on a healthy dose of SpongeBob.
Perhaps we imprinted on Squidward! There’s your scapegoat, angry and critical Boomers. ‘Twas SpongeBob Squarepants all along.
The highway scene in Deadpool overdubbed with sound effects from Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy? FANTASTIC.
Ed makes a great Deadpool, honestly. And this made me realize just how sound effect-heavy EE&E was. Such a good cartoon.
I’d love to see someone who knows nothing about Aqua Teen Hunger Force watch this scene and try to figure out what in the actual living fuck the show is about.
Hell, I’d like to see someone who is very familiar with Aqua Teen Hunger Force watch this scene and try to figure out what in the actual living fuck the show is about.
Master Shake reminds me of my friend Zack from high school for some reason.
Also, I used to watch this show a lot during my first year of college. This and Futurama.
So the past week and a half has been a shit show.
But then I saw that someone had uploaded all of the Community end credit scenes from seasons 1 – 3 and that helped make things a lot better.
Someone’s posted a whole ton of Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes on YouTube and I’m having a flashback party to when I used to watch this show all the time in college.
I’d forgotten how weird it was.
It also got me into Metalocalypse, ’cause that was always on after ATHF. And we all know I love Metalocalypse.
I feel like “Stranger Things” is overhyped. I watched the first season with Nate and I honestly didn’t see what the big deal was. Do people just like it because ZOMG 80s?
Nostalgia, anyone? [had to link a new one ’cause the old one got taken down]
I recognize about 97% of these. I used to watch a lot of Spongebob.
Sorry, it’s been a crappy day and this is all I’ve got right now.
This week has been awful, what with losing Annabelle and feeling really shitty for not being there for her when she was put down.
So this video was very much needed.
If you’ve never watched It’s Always Sunny, you’re missing out, yo. It’s the craziest. As one commenter says: “Out of context this show looks insane. In context this show is insane.” Truth.
Holy crapples, I love the intro to The Defenders. Both the music and the animation. Check it:
The best one yet. Rankings:
1. The Defenders (music and animation)
(Edited to add): Punisher (music and animation) (Punisher and The Defenders are tied for first)
2. Daredevil (music and animation)
3. Iron Fist (music)
4. Jessica Jones
5. Luke Cage
Y’all know I like to rank things.
My answer: Milhouse.
I still say “everything’s comin’ up Milhouse!” in my head sometimes when something works out nicely.
OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THIS
[I had a different video of this linked originally, but it was taken down…it turns out that an official one was posted like a month later?]
We had this on VHS and I watched it so much as a kid.
“C” is the best.
“H” is great, too. Such a deadpan voice, hahaha.
“L” was one of my favorites, too. “LINOLEUM!!!!”
Holy crapples, the “V” story always scared the hell out of me.
These guys have made some action re-makes of SpongeBob SquarePants episodes.
They’re fantastic. Example:
The guy who plays SpongeBob does a freakishly good “panicked SpongeBob cry” (2:31).
So the local Calgary news crew had a little artichoke dip mishap a few days ago and now the video’s gone viral: