Category Archives: Surveys

SURVATRON 2020

The year is almost over. I’d be more excited about that if all the chaos and death and awfulness that started in 2020 actually ended with the year. But it won’t; it’ll drag into 2021 (and probably beyond) for who knows how long.

But hey, let’s do that end-of-year survey anyway just to reminisce about exactly how bad everything was!

What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?
Wear a mask in public?
Quarantine?
Fear for the lives of all my family and friends in the States?
I could go on.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
There will soon be a blog post regarding this!

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, at least one person.

Did anyone close to you die?
I don’t think so. My friends and family have been surprisingly untouched by COVID (as far as I know) and there have been no deaths due to it. Or to anything else.

What countries did you visit?
None. The land border has been closed for most of the year.

What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?
BITCH DON’T GET ME STARTED

What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
In this hellish year where all the days blend together into one mass of FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?
The day of the US election, I guess. And yes, I know it took dayS this year, but the day itself was pretty memorable for how freaking close the votes were. COME ON, PEOPLE

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Tenure-track!

What was your biggest failure?
Existing.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, surprisingly.

What was the best thing you bought?
Uhhhhhhhh either the treadmill, Kondle, or my sunglasses (though I think technically I bought those last year)

Where did most of your money go?
Dental work.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Absolutely nothing. Absolutely. Nothing.

What song will always remind you of 2020?
Blinding Lights by The Weeknd. It’s my pandemic song, yo.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Bought frivolous stuff. Stress shopping is apparently a thing I do, unfortunately.

How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas was a few days ago. We opened presents on the 24th, so we didn’t really do anything special on Christmas itself.

Did you fall in love in 2020?
stayed in love in 2020.

How many one-night stands?
Nada.

What was your favourite TV program?
I got back into Chicago Hope thanks to it being on YesTV for most of the year. PUT IT BACK, YESTV!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.

What was the best book you read?
A Prayer for Owen Meany was fantastic.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
There were a few good ones this year. I’ll probably blog about them on the 31st as is tradition.

What was your favourite film of this year?
Movies weren’t a thing this year.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. I don’t remember what I did. That was pre-“COVID invades Canada” so I don’t remember it very well.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
HAHAHAHAHA NO PANDEMIC HAHAHAHAHA
Fuck this year.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?
Working from home in no pants?

What kept you sane?
Sanity wasn’t a thing this year.

Which celebrity/public figure(s) did you fancy the most?
Leibniz. Always and forever.

Who did you miss?
My mom.

Who was the best new person you met?
I didn’t meet anyone new.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:
Humans are idiots. I knew that already, but BOY HOWDY was it confirmed this year.

WOAH it’s another survey. Shocked?

1. How has covid affected you?
Well, I haven’t gotten it and no one I’m super close to has gotten it either, so that’s good. But I haven’t been able to see my mom because the damn border’s been closed since March, my job is now online which I absolutely hate, my husband and I haven’t gotten to do any of our long summer walks because we’ve been terrified of public places/public transit, my own walks have been limited due to the same reasons, and I really miss going to malls. Not even shopping…just going in them. But on the positive side, I did really get into running this summer, which I probably wouldn’t have gotten an opportunity to do (at least to the same extent) if things were “normal.”

2. What is a comfort show of yours?
I’ve re-watched Riverdale a few times, not gonna lie. Horrible teen dramas are my jam.

3. Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in?
My past is on this blog. My past is this blog. So if anyone cares enough to discover my past, it’s out there for ya.

4. Favourite fast food joint?
Of the chain restaurants, it’s McDonald’s. No shame. Their fries are the best. Of “local” restaurants, Cougar Country. Or Mongolian BBQ, if that counts as fast food.

5. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason?
Nope. Unless you count fulfilling our part in a deterministic universe. But I don’t.

6. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of?
Gotten back into running.

7. Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions?
Haha, yeah.

8. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago today was November 24, 2010. I was in my second year of grad school at UBC and hating it. I was also a few months into my new walking habit, though, so that was good.

9. Do you call out Karens when they’re harassing a cashier?
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been witness to someone being abusive to a cashier. But if I saw it, it’d like to think I’d say something, especially in today’s “put a mask on, you selfish asshole” world.

10. Animal crossing, yay or nay?
Never played it.

11. Why do you like to do surveys?
They’re fun.

12. Did you ever have a MySpace ?
Hahaha. That’s how this blog got started, yes.

13. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship?
Depends on the people. Depends on the relationship.

14. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no, would you create one? If yes what’s your content?
I have two YouTube channels. One is for teaching-related stuff, like supplementary lecture content or (more recently) recorded lectures. The other is my “personal” YouTube channel. It’s mostly stupid short videos that only I would care about, but I do have a Vine compilation vid on there that’s gotten like 15,000 views.

15. Are you a math person?
Not naturally, no. But that’s why I teach it – because I understand what it’s like to not be a math person, I understand the anxiety that causes, and I like to think I teach in a way that makes math understandable for people who get math anxiety.

16. What’s the worst thing someone has said to you?
Let’s not go there today.

17. Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad?
In fourth (?) grade, a new kid came to our elementary school. Our class had like 23 people so we were all pretty set in our friendships, and this new kid was a little awkward. I remember one day he dropped a whole bunch of books and papers and no one went to help him, so I did. We didn’t really become friends (and eventually he got assimilated and people started hanging with him), but that kind of counts, right?

18. Would you ever date someone online?
I kind of dated Nate through OK Cupid before we met in person, so…yes?

19. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone?
Yes. No.

20. When do you think things will be normal again?
I think there will be a “relative” normal in the next few years, but if we ever do go back to pre-pandemic normal, I don’t think that will happen for quite some time.

21. Do you watch anime?
Nope.

22. Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2020 is over?
Not get COVID?

23. How old did/do you turn this year?
32.

24. Do you like tiktok?
Eh. It’s no Vine.

25. Do you ever miss vine?
I do! Vines were great.

26. How are you doing, seriously?
Absolutely terribly, thanks for asking.

27. Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t?
Nah.

28. Do you make jokes to cope with your problems?
My life is a joke.

29. Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend?
I don’t think so.

30. Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar?
Yup.

31. Long or short surveys?
Medium!

32. If ur in school, are you doing it on zoom or in class?
I’m teaching, does that count? All the math/stats department classes are being done remotely this semester.

33. Would you ever have a pet rat?
Meh. Give me cats or give me death.

34. Favourite memory with your best friend?
Playing Rock Band for hours when we lived together. So much fun.

35. Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube?
Depends on what I’m doing. If I’m drawing, I like to watch longer videos, like documentaries or Achievement Hunter stuff. If I’m grading or writing up notes, I like to watch makeup reviews. I also like to just browse through and watch random music videos.

36. Are you allergic to anything serious?
Nope.

37. Dream job?
The one I’ve got now (with the addition of tenure).

38. Do you think dreams mean anything?
On a certain level, yes.

39. Fav clothing brand?
Whatever the hell fits. Most of my clothes come from Walmart, though, so whatever the Walmart brand is up here. George and g21.

40. Do you miss anyone?
I miss my mom. I hate that it will be at least half a year (probably longer) before I’ll be able to see her again.

LOL A STATES-BASED SURVEY

I AM FEELING VERY SAD BUT ALSO VERY HYPER AND MUST INJECT SURVEYS INTO MY BLOODSTREAM TO LIVE BYE BYE FOLKS

Alabama: Do you like the movie Forrest Gump?
I do. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, though.

Alaska: Would you rather deal with 30 days of day or 30 days of night?
30 days of day. Get that darkness nonsense out of here, I’ll sleep when I’m DEAD
(I could actually sleep in any degree of sunlight, though, so that wouldn’t be an issue.)

Arizona: Can you handle heat well?
Not particularly, but I think I do better with it than with cold. At least it rarely gets super hot up here in Calgary.

Arkansas: What are your opinions on Bill Clinton?
Personal/relationship issues, but a good president overall.

California: Who is your favorite actor? Favorite actress?
My current favorite actor is Adam Arkin, because I’m still coming down off the high that was the short-lived run of Chicago Hope on YesTV up here and I absolutely love him in that. I don’t have a favorite actress.

Colorado: Do you smoke weed? What are your opinions on its legalization?
I don’t, and I think medical marijuana should be legalized. Don’t really care about recreational weed.
Also, FUN FACT: when I was a kid, my friends and I thought “smoking weed” meant literally smoking weeds, like the kind you’d find in your yard. So sometimes on the playground we’d go pick some weeds and roll them up and pretend to smoke them to be cool. D.A.R.E. clearly did nothing for us.

Connecticut: Have you ever had a school shooting at your school?
Nope. We were on lockdown once in junior high, but that was right after 9/11 and I think it was just to be super cautious about some sketchy dude wandering around the school parking lot. At U of C they found a bunch of guns stashed behind a ceiling tile, but no shootings or anything ever happened.

Delaware: Are you usually the first to do something, or are you more of a follower?
A bit of both.

Florida: Have you ever been to Disney World?
Nope. Disneyland was a frequent stop of mine when I went to visit my grandma and grandpa in California, though.

Georgia: Would you consider yourself a southern belle?
Hahahahahaha…no.

Hawaii: What would be paradise for you?
Being able to walk (and run) as much as I wanted to every day. Being able to continue to teach stats/math. Cats everywhere.

Idaho: What is your favorite way to eat a potato?
(Of course it’s a potato question)
Either French fries or mashed potatoes.

Illinois: Did you vote for President Obama (or would you have)?
I did. Twice!

Indiana: Do you like corn?
Eh. Corn on the cob is good. Cornbread is good. That’s about it.

Iowa: Are roses your favorite flower?
I don’t have a favorite flower.
(WHY DIDN’T THIS STATE GET THE CORN QUESTION)

Kansas: Do you like the Tin Man, Scarecrow or Cowardly Lion better?
I always liked the Tin Man. I’m like that kid in “A Christmas Story.”

Kentucky: Have you ever been to a horse race?
Nope. No desire to, either.

Louisiana: Have you ever celebrated Mardi Gras?
Not in any serious way, no.

Maine: Do you like lobster?
Crab is infinitely better. Lobster is chewy and weird-tasting.

Maryland: Have you ever been to Washington DC?
Yup! I went when I was in…9th grade? 10th grade? I don’t remember it very well, though, because I got some serious heat stroke while there.

Massachusetts: Are you smart enough to go to Harvard?
No idea. Never applied. Probably not.

Michigan: Have you ever swam in a lake?
Yup. Lake Coeur d’Alene. So…probably shouldn’t have done that. Heavy Metal City.

Minnesota: Have you seen Drop Dead Gorgeous?
Nope.

Mississippi: Do you follow college football?
Only the Vandals, and only loosely.

Missouri: Have you ever convinced someone to show you their private parts?
Probably. I WAS in marching band.

Montana: What is the greatest treasure you have ever found?
I found a $50 bill by a bus stop once?

Nebraska: Do you eat beef?
(Is Nebraska known for its beef?)
(Did the survey maker get to Nebraska and go “oh shit, we already used the corn question, what the hell else is in Nebraska? Cows? Probably cows.)
ANYWAY.
I don’t eat much meat in general, but beef is good.

Nevada: Are you good at card games?
Not particularly.

New Hampshire: What are your views on gay marriage?
Who freaking CARES, let a person get married to the person they love!

New Jersey: Do you watch The Jersey Shore?
No.

New Mexico: Would you consider yourself a hippie?
Not really.

New York: Have you ever been to New York City? Would you like to?
I’ve never been there. I’d like to go, but I’d also be absolutely terrified there, I think.

North Carolina: Are the Panthers your favorite football team?
Of the…three NFL teams I can name without Googling “NFL teams” or asking Nate or asking my mom, the Panthers are not one of them. So…no.

North Dakota: Have you seen Fargo?
Nope.

Ohio: Did you watch The Drew Carey Show?
I watched it occasionally with my dad when it was on. Cleveland rocks!

Oklahoma: What is your favorite musical?
The Music Man. That counts, right?

Oregon: Did you ever play the Oregon Trail game?
Hahaha, yes indeed. My sole mission every time I played was to acquire as much bacon as possible.

Pennsylvania: Do you watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia?
Yup!

Rhode Island: Who is the smallest person you know?
My friend Jade from high school. Or Nicole from elementary school.

South Carolina: Do you think Aziz Ansari is funny?
I only vaguely know who that is.

South Dakota: Who is more interesting: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln?
Teddy was pretty badass, but Jefferson seemed to be a very interesting person from the little I know about him.

Tennessee: Who is your favorite country singer?
I don’t listen to enough country music to have a favorite country singer.

Texas: Do you like barbecue or Tex-Mex better?
Neither.

Utah: Do you know anyone who is Mormon?
Yup! I know a few people who are Mormon, actually.

Vermont: Do you get the full autumnal colors in the fall where you live?
Yup.

[WHERE IS VIRGINIA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DID WEST VIRGINIA EAT IT?!?!?!?!?]

Washington: Do you like grunge?
No.

West Virginia: Do you like the mountains?
West Virginia is not a valid state.

Wisconsin: What’s your favorite kind of cheese?
Colby-Jack. No contest.

Wyoming: Do you love westerns?
Not particularly.

2020, you are not my friend.

Have a survey.

1. Something someone told you about yourself that you never forgot
Back in 2010, I reconnected (online) with a friend I’d known in junior high after not seeing him or speaking to him since then. I remember him saying over instant messenger, “you never seemed very happy.” I thought I’d been pretty good at hiding that in junior high, but I guess not.

2. What are your 3 top pet peeves?
1) people who do not use sidewalks/pathways courteously; 2) people who lie for the sole purpose of getting attention/praise (I knew someone in college who did this relentlessly and nobody seemed to ever call her on it; it was infuriating; 3) company logos that change for the sole reason to look more “modern.” I don’t know if that counts as a pet peeve, but it sure upsets me to an irrational degree.

3. List five places you want to visit
Antarctica, Leibniz’ museum in Hanover, Moscow (I’m super homesick right now), Washington, D. C., Vancouver.

4. Share something you struggle with.
Anger. I am a very angry person and I’m not very good at handling it in a constructive manner. I do my best not to take it out on other people, but I definitely take it out on myself in less-than-constructive ways.

6. Something you always think “what if….?” about
I always think about how historical figures would react to today’s world. Not just Leibniz (but definitely him), but others. What would George Washington think of what the US is today, for example? What would da Vinci think of the technology we have today, especially with regards to flight? That kind of thing.

7. Five blessings in your life.
My mom, my husband, my kitty, the fact that I am physically healthy, the fact that I am employed in a (hopefully!) stable job.

8. Something that you miss.
I miss pre-pandemic normality. It’s hard to appreciate something like that until it gets taken away from you, but the pandemic definitely has taken it away from us all.

9. Post about your zodiac sign and whether or not it fits you.
From astrology-zodiac-signs.com: Aquarius-born are shy and quiet, but on the other hand they can be eccentric and energetic. However, in both cases, they are deep thinkers and highly intellectual people who love helping others. They are able to see without prejudice, on both sides, which makes them people who can easily solve problems.
Although they can easily adapt to the energy that surrounds them, Aquarius-born have a deep need to be some time alone and away from everything, in order to restore power. People born under the Aquarius sign, look at the world as a place full of possibilities.
Aquarius is an air sign, and as such, uses his mind at every opportunity. If there is no mental stimulation, they are bored and lack a motivation to achieve the best result.

I’d say I’m pretty shy, yes, and I definitely need my alone time. I like to believe I’m a “deep thinker,” but who actually knows. I do get bored and demotivated if I don’t have at least one project or goal to work towards.

11. Write about an area of your life that you’d like to improve.
All of it. I’m terrible at everything and everything needs improvement.

12. What made you laugh out loud today.
This thing, oh my god.

13. What are your goals for the next 30 days.
To not get COVID, to win NaNoWriMo, to survive the end of the semester (though I guess that’s beyond the next 30 days).

14. Your highs and lows for the month.
Highs: none
Lows: everything
I hate this pandemic and it’s really starting to mess with me.

15. Favorite movies that you never get tired of watching.
I could probably watch Mystery Men every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of it. I love Mystery Men. Same with Apollo 13 (two very different movies, haha).

16. Books you have read more than once.
I tend to read books only once unless I really like them. I’ve read The Caine Mutiny many times, as well as The Great Gatsby. Candide. Lolita.

17. Something about which you feel strongly.
I think the car-centric nature of most cities is very detrimental to people. It really bothers me how it’s basically expected that everyone has a vehicle or has access to a vehicle and a lot of places (in big cities especially) are only accessible via car. It’s not even “this place is 20 miles away from where you live, so it’s a long walk.” It’s “the only way you can get here is via a very busy road with no sidewalks.” That’s something that I think needs to change. I don’t know how, but it does.

18. Five things that make you really happy.
Leibniz, teaching math/stats, walking, good music, being unhealthily stuck in the past

19. What are you excited about?
Ugh, not much anymore. Not anything, currently. Like I said, the pandemic is really messing with me. I’m not even excited about my job right now because teaching online is balls.

20. Three celebrity crushes
Leibniz, Leibniz, Leibniz.

SLEEP IS FOR SQUARES; I HAVE ASCENDED

Let’s do a weird survey in honor of a weird year.

1. Can you cry under water?
If you’re sad enough you can.

2. What is the fattest thing you’ve ever done?
The…fattest thing? I used to eat entire packages of Chips Ahoy! cookies if that counts.

3. If you’re going to be arrested what do you want your crime to be?
Going off on someone not following COVID-prevention mandates. If I’m going to go down, I’m going to go down trying to prevent idiocy.

4. When they say dog food is “new and improved” who tastes it?
Me. ‘TIS MY SECRET JOB!!!1!

5. What’s the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen?
Myself.

6. Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?
Tacky while wet + wet in bottle = no stick!

7. What historical event do you wish you’d witnessed?
Anything with Leibniz. I would love to have just been able to sit in the room with him while he was working on his calculus or building his stepped reckoner. Like…how absolutely amazing would that be?

8. Who has had the best influence on your life?
My mom! She has always been a very kind, thoughtful, considerate person, and I hope some of that rubbed off on me as a kid.

9. Would you rather go into space or to Antarctica?
Antarctica. Definitely. Like, space is coolio, but y’all know I have a thing for Antarctica.

10. Would you rather sleep with no pillow or no blankets?
Well, I’m really good at sleeping ANYWHERE and ANY TIME, so I can do without both of these. But I’d pick no pillow I guess. I could always mush some of the blankets beneath my head to act as a pillow.

11. What’s your favorite rain memory?
Uh…I actually can’t think of any. The closest “favorite” I can come up with was that time when we spent the night in Ridenbaugh before going down to Boise with the marching band. There was some “partially naked running around in the rain” going on, if I recall correctly.

12. If you were elected president, what is the first thing you would do?
Probably freak out, haha. I would not want that responsibility. Also, my charisma = 0, so there’s no way I’d ever get elected.

13. If you had $3 to spend in the dollar store, what would you buy?
1) a bag of Bugles; 2) a candy; 3) those flexible glow stick things
(I’m having flashbacks to 2008/2009 when my roommates and I went to the Dollar Store every Friday and bought the most ridiculous and fun stuff. Good times.)

14. What’s the most annoying sound in the world?
Babies/kids crying. I cannot stand that sound. I know that sound is supposed to activate my “motherly” instincts but instead it activates my “how fast can I get away from this awful, awful noise?” instincts.

15. What natural disaster scares you the most?
Fire. There aren’t a lot of things that scare me, but fire is absolutely terrifying to me. Terrifying.

Big Surv

A thing.

Apparently these are questions that could be asked of anyone but geared toward a potential romantic partner. I already got me one of them, so let’s just pretend I’m taking another survey, ‘cause we all know I don’t have enough surveys on the blog, right?

I took out the “Sex” category, though. ‘Cause who cares.

Questions About Likes, Interests, and Passions

How do you like to pass the time?
I spend a lot of my time walking (“walking” will be a frequent answer to a lot of these questions, I suspect). I also like to blog, write, draw, and listen to music (which is time I spend thinking or fantasizing).

What are some of your hobbies?
Walking, drawing, reading, blogging, writing, pretending to be hilarious.

What genre of books do you like to read?
Does “classics” count as a genre? Refer to my “200 Books” list. Those are the types of books I read, because I haven’t read a thing that isn’t on that list since, like, 7th grade.

What are some of your favorite books?
Please see this blog post!

What are some of your favorite TV shows?
Please see this blog post!

What are some of your favorite movies?
Please see this blog post!

What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?
I think it was Captain Marvel.

What’s the best vacation you’ve ever taken?
UHHHHHH that cruise to Alaska with my mom and dad when I was just out of high school was fun. I’ve done that same cruise like five times, but that one was memorable because it was one of the few times where we went on vacation as a family.

Where do you want to go next on vacation?
Moscow. Just. Moscow. I’m pissed that I won’t be able to go down there this year. It’d also be nice to do our planned retirement trip with my mom, either to the redwoods and a Mets game in San Francisco OR a Mets game in Washington, DC plus the Baseball Hall of Fame.

What do you normally do on the weekend?
Well, normally I go on a nice, long walk around the city with my husband, but due to COVID, our access to stopping points (bathrooms, drinking fountains, malls, restaurants) is severely restricted, so we haven’t really done any super exciting walks this year. It’s disappointing. I really love our weekend walks.

Would you say you’re more of an introvert or extrovert?
Introvert, definitely. People are draining. Alone time is magic.

What’s your Myers-Briggs personality type?
I’m an INTJ!

What’s your Enneagram number?
Five.

Do you like to work out?
I love working out. It’s one of the few times I feel relatively happy anymore.

How do you feel about cooking?
Meh. Fancy shmancy recipes do nothing for me because I can’t taste like 50% of things, so cooking doesn’t really appeal to me, either.

What’s your favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?
Dinner I guess? I have food at like 4 AM, so whatever the hell that qualifies as.

What type of music do you listen to?
Do I like it? I’ll listen to it. My Decade of Music project showed me that my musical tastes span many genres.

What’s your all-time favorite song?
All-time? That’s hard. I really love Sleepyhead still, but I also really like Running Away. So I’m not sure.

Who’s the first artist or band you saw live?
Nate and I saw OK Go a few years ago.

Who’s the most recent artist or band you saw live?
OK Go. That’s the only band I’ve ever seen live.

What’s the first play or musical you ever saw?
Uh…I’m not sure, actually. I’m sure I was taken to some sort of Shakespeare or something when I was younger.

What’s the most recent play or musical you saw?
Again, not sure, haha. For a “professionally” performed play, it might have been all the way back in 2006 when I saw “Death of a Salesman” performed at the U of I.

Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?
I do not listen to podcasts, no.

What would be your “at bat” song?
“Reaching for Higher Ground” by TNGHT (specifically, 0:48)

Do you have any hidden talents?
I don’t have any regular talents.

Do you play any sports?
Nope. I played t-ball when I was like seven, but that’s the only organized sport I ever played.

Do you play any musical instruments?
Yes! Clarinet, flute, oboe, sax, drums, tuba…others I can’t remember right now. Haha, it’s been a while since I’ve actually played.

Do you have any pet peeves?
Many. Most of them revolve around people being discourteous walkers and not paying attention to their surroundings. Seriously, how hard is it to notice that you and your group of moron friends are standing in the middle of the pathway, blocking it for everyone else?

What’s your favorite season and why?
Summer. Summer, summer, summer. I love the sun and the long, long days. The good thing about Calgary is that the summers don’t get too hot, but they get warm enough so that I don’t feel frozen all the time (like I do every other time of the year).

If your house was on fire and you could only bring out three things, what would they be?
Assuming my husband and the animals are already safe, I would select 1) my hard drive/USB (I keep both of them in the same baggie, so I’m counting the whole thing as one unit); 2) my laptop; 3) Uh…not sure.

Who are some of your favorite celebrities?
I don’t know if I really have any. I’ve always liked Tom Hanks, though.

If you could have a beer/coffee with anyone in the world, alive or dead, who would it be?
Gottfried Leibniz. No question. There’s not even a close second. I don’t care that we don’t speak the same language. Just let me bask in his presence.

If you could time travel to any period throughout history, what you pick?
Late 1600s (say, around 1680 or so). Again, Leibniz.

How do you take your coffee?
I don’t drink coffee.

Are you allergic to anything?
Some pollen. Pineapple. An asthma medicine. The sun (okay, it’s not a technical allergy; it’s a sensitivity to UV light that causes a wonky immune response).

Are you a morning person or an evening person?
Definitely an evening person, though I’m such an extreme evening person that I’m most awake at like 4 AM, so…morning person?

What’s your favorite holiday?
Probably Christmas, just because it usually means I’m with my mom.

How you typically celebrate your favorite holiday?
I guess sometimes I’m in the airport alone, haha, but usually at least part of the day is spent hanging out with my mom and opening a few presents.

How do you feel about social media?
Eh. I’m getting pretty sick of people on Facebook. Like, really? All you can post are memes? I have nothing against memes, but ugh, it’s the same things over and over again.

What’s your favorite animal?
Cats. I love cats. Cats and I get each other.

What’s your favorite food?
Broccoli is great. So is cheese.

What’s your go-to alcohol drink?
I don’t do alcohol.

Questions About Childhood and Teenage Years

What were you like as a kid growing up?
Weird. I was a weird kid. Once I lost that little bit of popularity after 1st grade, people really didn’t like me all that much. Not that I really cared. I was in my own little world, haha.

Did you enjoy school? Why or why not?
I was pretty indifferent to it until about 8th grade. Then I hated it.

How did you spend your summers growing up?
Screwing around, haha. I am an only child, and when I was a kid/teenager, this translated into being super obnoxious with either a tape recorder (pretending I was a radio show host) or a camcorder (making movies, songs, etc.).

What was your favorite subject in high school?
Band was always a favorite. I also took drama in 12th grade; that was a super fun class.

Who did you look up to as a child?
My mom?

As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I always wanted to be some sort of artist or writer. Until I realized I had zero talent.

When did you have your first relationship? With whom?
I didn’t have my first relationship until I was technically an adult.

Who was your first childhood crush?
Hahaha. Lead. Lead was my crush for a HUGE proportion of my childhood/adolescence. It was actually really sad.

Where do you think your parents did a good job raising you?
I do, yes.

Where do you think parents missed the mark when raising you?
My parents did a good job. I’m a terrible person despite that.

What did you love as a kid that you hate now?
I used to really like going over to friends’ houses and hanging out. I don’t really do that anymore, and whenever I have to, there’s a lot of dread.

What did you dislike as a child that you now enjoy?
I wasn’t really an outdoorsy kid, I don’t think. I love being outside and walking now.

What was your relationship like with your partners growing up?
My partners? Like…friends? I didn’t have a romantic relationship until I was 19, so let’s just consider friends.

Did you have a relationship with your grandparents growing up?
Ha. HA. Yeah, let’s not get into that, huh?

Were you close to your brothers or sisters growing up?
No siblings!

Are you still friends with your friends from childhood?
Nope.

Any unique struggles you had to face as a teen? What were they?
My grandma was incredibly emotionally abusive to my mom and me. And we lived with her for quite a long time. That’s not something a lot of people get to deal with, I don’t think. Grandmas are supposed to be kind.

Did you hide anything or lie to your parents while growing up?
I was pretty much constantly sad and frustrated, but I tried not to show that too often. I probably didn’t do very well.

What did you call your mom and dad growing up?
Just “mom” and “dad,” mostly. I called my dad “D” when I was younger, though, and he called me “C.”

Did you ever get in trouble as a kid?
Just mild trouble. I never did anything horrible, I don’t think.
Except for robbing that bank when I was seven; long story.

What’s the dumbest thing you ever did as a kid?
Once, when I was in elementary school, my friend Kelly came over to my dad’s house and we, for whatever reason, decided to write really mean letters to him. I wrote that he was a bad dad, I didn’t love him, etc., thinking it was a funny joke to play on him. Then we gave him the letters and he, obviously, got really upset. I have no idea what ever motivated us to do that. It was stupid and really cruel, and I still feel bad for doing it. I love my dad.

What do you wish you could go back and tell the kid version of yourself?
You think you’re going to be happier when you get older. You won’t be. So just give up on thinking that, as it will save a lot of pointless daydreaming.

What was your style like as a teenager?
I had my obligatory “ALL BLACK ALL THE TIME” year, but for the majority of my teenage-hood, I wore a lot of color. Like now. Like always.

What books changed the way you thought about the world?
I can’t think of any particular book or books that I read as a kid/teen that changed the way I thought about the world, but reading in general really changed how I viewed the world from a “how would I write about this?” perspective. I’ve always liked both writing and reading, and I think from a youngish age I read books with the idea of using them to try to improve my own writing. That’s in part why I started my “200 Books” list way back in 7th grade.

Who was your favorite teacher?
In elementary school, it was my third grade teacher, Mrs. Wimer (I think that’s how her last name is spelled?). In junior high, it was my earth science teacher. Mr. LaFortune. In high school, my band teacher, Mr. Garrett.

What’s a fad from your childhood you would totally bring back?
I was going to say Pokemon, but I guess that’s kind of been brought back with Pokemon Go!, eh? What about the trading cards? Those aren’t as big now, I don’t think. OOOH, what about internet chatrooms? I guess that was more 2000s than 90s, but I was still technically a kid/teen in the early 2000s, so that totally counts.

What’s a fad from your childhood we should absolutely never bring back?
Furbies were absolute hell children. Let’s not.

What are your earliest happy memories?
Living in Troy with my mom was a happy time, I think. That was when I was in 1st/2nd grade. I got to hang out with her a lot. We had the cats and Mindy. I had a treehouse. I hung out with GE a lot. We would drive into Moscow to shop at Tidyman’s. We had an old Macintosh computer and I’d play Cosmic Osmo and Quake. I had that freaking tape recorder that I would not put down. It was fun.

What did your childhood bedroom look like?
I had SO MANY BEDROOMS, dude. We moved around a lot.

Were you more of an “indoor” or “outdoor” kid?
Probably indoor.

Questions About Family

How do you define “family?”
Pretty traditionally. People I’m related to directly or related to through marriage.

Who are you currently closest with in your family?
My mom. It’s always been my mom.

(If they have children) What do you like to do with your kids?
No kids. There will never be kids.

Do you take family vacations?
Nope. The only times we ever really went anywhere as a family (my mom, my dad, and me) were when we went to Washington, DC and when we went on that Alaska cruise.

What’s the fondest memory you have of your family?
Christmases.

How often do you see your family?
Currently? Never, ‘cause of this stupid virus. But I saw my mom last December and my dad came up for a brief visit last summer. I try to see my mom at least twice a year, but I see my dad a lot less frequently because he’s all the way down in Boise now.

How do you like to spend time with your family?
I think one of my favorite things we used to do was go to Mongolian BBQ on Thursday nights with my mom and dad. That was really the one time we all got to hang out and was something I always looked forward to. I miss that a lot.

How much time do you spend with your family?
Again, currently, not much at all. I love to go visit my mom in the summer and over Christmas break when I can, though.

How has your relationship with your family evolved over time?
Not too much. I’m still really close with my mom. I’m about as close to my dad as I ever have been, which is not super close but we get along.

Which TV family most resembles your own?
Ha, I have no idea. We’re decently chill – at least in the immediate family. But we’re also kinda weird, so…the Belcher’s from Bob’s Burgers?

Who in your family would you describe as a “character”?
Uncle Blake, haha.

What’s the biggest holiday in your family?
It used to be Christmas. We don’t spend any holidays together anymore.

How do you celebrate that holiday?
Christmas was GREAT. We’d spend Christmas Eve at my mom’s house with the cats/dogs and would open presents from her side of the family. Then we’d spend Christmas at my dad’s house (and drag all the cats over there, haha), open all the presents from his side of the family, and watch “A Christmas Story” all day long because it was on all Christmas day on TBS. Super fun.

What are you favorite family recipes?
“Broccoli Bake,” “German Chocolate Cake,” “Layer Cookies,” and “Scones” from my master recipe list. These are the ones I learned from my family.

Do you wish you had more siblings? If so, why?
I used to want siblings. I used to want siblings to the point where I made a life-size “sister” out of paper (she had a “functioning” digestive system and everything). But now I’m fine without siblings.

Do you have any nicknames for family members?
I call my dad “Bobert” for whatever the hell reason; I have no idea where that originated (apart from the fact that his name is Robert but he goes by Bob).

What’s the best piece of advice a family member has ever given you?
I have no idea.

Would you say you’re more like your mom or dad? Why?
I’m very much like my mom in a lot of ways. We have the same sense of humor and morals and stuff like that. But there are a few characteristics of mine that are very much like my dad.

Does your family have reunions?
Nope.

How do you show your family you love them?
I call my mom almost every day. I love to go down to Moscow and visit her and just spend time with her.

How do they show you that they love you?
See above, only reverse it.

What’s something your family would be surprised to learn about you?
How angry of a person I am (and have pretty much always been). I mean, my mom may not be too surprised ‘cause I’ve tried to explain it to her, but I think still she’d be at least a little shocked at just how angry I am all the time.

How much would it matter if your family didn’t approve of your romantic partner?
I can’t see ANYONE not approving of my husband. He is an amazing human being. But back when I was dating a certain someone, I’m pretty sure my mom was wanting to say to me (or did say to me) “hey this guy is pretty toxic” to which I would have replied “lol I know but I want to prove everyone wrong and date him anyway” and well we all know how bad THOSE kinds of decisions are.

How much would it matter if your family didn’t approve of your job?
Meh. I think my mom would be cool with almost any job I had as long as I enjoyed it. I don’t know if my dad really cares.

Questions About Career and Future Goals

Are you happy with where you are in your career?
Sure. I’d like to be a bit further (tenure would be nice!), but considering where I am and the fact that I got here without getting a PhD (and especially given why I didn’t go for a PhD; you can find the reason in my blogs if you search far enough back)? I’ll take it.

What do you enjoy the most about your job?
I absolutely love helping students understand and feel confident with math and statistics. Especially those students who get really anxious with the subjects. I understand where those students are coming from and I feel like I can empathize with them in a way that makes them less afraid of the material. It makes me so happy to see students genuinely understand and even enjoy stats and calculus.

What do you dislike the most about your job?
Sometimes university politics play a bigger role than I think they should, but that’s probably true of any uni job.

If you could change anything about your job, what would it be?
I’d like to teach a wider variety of classes, but I suspect that’s something that could change with time. Heck, I never thought I’d be teaching intro calc, but I am, and I love it.

If you could have any job, what would it be? Why?
The one I have. Because I love teaching math and stats.

Where do you want to be 5 years from now?
In the same job, but with tenure!

Where do you want to be 15 years from now?
See above.

Where do you want to be 30 years from now?
See above (or retired, either is fine).

How would your 12-year-old self react to what you do now?
They’d be pretty shocked. I would have never thought I’d have the guts to speak in front of large crowds/classes, let alone teach while doing so. Also, I don’t think I was super excited about math in 6th/7th grade.

What’s the best career decision you’ve ever made?
Choosing U of C over Carleton University. I had a lot of trouble picking between the two in the summer of 2014, but I think I made the right choice. Who knows how things would have turned out at Carleton.

What’s the worst career decision you’ve ever made?
I don’t know if going to grad school actually counts as a career decision, but every time I’ve gone to grad school (there have been three times now, how sad), it’s been to try to get to a “career” at some point, so I’mma count it. SO, the worst decision was to go to University of Western Ontario to try to get an MA in philosophy. I was at a very bad point in my life when I made that move and I KNEW it was a bad decision, but I did it anyway. I only lasted there for a few weeks before I had to put my mom through the torture of helping me move all my stuff BACK ACROSS NORTH AMERICA AGAIN and then spending like three months unemployed and living in my dad’s basement before things started to, slowly, get better. Rough times.

How will you know when you’ve “made it?”
“Made it” as in “made it in my career of choice” or “made it” as in “accomplished my life goals?” For the career version, a high degree of job security and permanence would do it for me. This is what I’ve been working for over the past four years and the security is finally starting to increase. For the life goals version, I’ll never “make it,” so that’s that.

Have you ever had imposter syndrome?
I still do, yo. There’s no way I feel like I deserve to be in a tenure-track position.

What haven’t you achieved yet in life that you would like to?
A lot. A lot. I don’t want to go into it ‘cause I don’t feel like being even sadder than I already am tonight.

Is this where you thought you’d be in your life at your age?
Hahahaha. No. If you would have told 18-year-old me that I’d be a math/stats instructor at the University of Calgary who was working toward tenure and who absolutely loved teaching math/stats, I would have assumed you were talking to the wrong person.

Are you “real friends” with your “work friends?”
I don’t have any friends.

Do you go out for happy hour with your colleagues after work?
Nope.

What does your family think of your career?
Hopefully they’re proud. I know my dad is disappointed that I didn’t ever get a PhD, but I’m teaching just like he is, so that’s got to count for something, right?

If you could do it all over again, would you pursue the same career? Why or why not?
I’d be worried about actively pursuing this career, since a lot of it came about fairly passively

What are you working towards with your career?
Right now? Tenure. Tenure is the “ultimate goal” at the moment, though of course the goal will change once (if) I get to that point.

At what age do you think you’ll want to retire?
I don’t think I’ll live that long.

What was your first job?
Wendy’s! It was actually a pretty nice gig for a part-time summer job.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
I really haven’t had any bad jobs. I guess the “worst” was that cleaning job at UI, but that was mainly because it was SO DISORGANIZED and we spent like 40% of our time sitting in the van.

Any terrible boss stories?
Nope. I’ve had good bosses!

Questions About Religion and Spirituality

Where you raised religious?
Sorta. My mom isn’t religious but my dad is Catholic. I went to a Catholic elementary school. This was allowed by my mom only because they had an awesome music program, haha.

Do you consider yourself religious?
Nope.

Do you consider yourself spiritual?
Nope.

Do you believe in astrology?
I think it’s fun and I like to try to guess peoples’ star signs, but I don’t read my horoscope and try to live based on what it says.

What do you find most appealing about religion?
It’s probably pretty comforting. Having some sort of higher power (at least for most religions) in control of things, at least to an extent, is a comforting idea.

What do you find least appealing about religion?
How cult-ish it can get. And how hypocritical religious people can get.

What do you like most about going to church, temple, etc.?
I haven’t been to church since like 7th grade or so. The only thing I liked about it was getting the host and wine, because I thought that was fascinating.

Do you believe in a higher power?
Just the universe.

What do you think is the most fundamental aspect(s) of your religion?
Not religious.

What do you want others to know about your religion?
Not religious.

What do you think is the most unique aspect of your religion?
See above!

Do you perform any spiritual or religious rituals? If so, which ones and why?
Nope.

Do you pray?
Nope.

Do you believe in magic?
Not really, no.

Do you believe in ghosts?
In a way, yes.

Do you believe religion conflicts with science?
I don’t know if “conflicts” is the right word. I think religion definitely has the ability to lead people away from scientific results, discoveries, and reasoning, but there have been a lot of very good scientists who have been religious (and probably a decent amount of science-opposed people who have not been religious).

Questions About Politics

Do you enjoy discussing politics?
Not particularly, no.

Do you vote?
I do!

Do you consider yourself a political person?
Nah. I prefer to stay out of it as much as possible, though I will do my duty and vote.

Do you follow politics closely?
Not really. See above.

Which best describes your political beliefs: liberal/left, centrist, conservative/right, or something else?
I’m definitely socially liberal, but maybe more moderate fiscally.

Do you share the same political leanings as your family members?
My mom, yes. I think my dad’s a lot more conservative than I am.

Where do you get your political news?
Mostly CNN right now, though I watch CTV and they have a fair coverage of US politics, especially right now.

Questions About Death

Are you afraid of death?
Nope. I find the idea of dying exciting, actually. It’s something that can’t be avoided. It’s going to happen sooner or later no matter what. That’s…that’s really cool.

What about death scares you the most?
Nothing, really. I guess the only thing that *worries* me about death is anyone who’s left alive who is sad that I died. But that wouldn’t be very many people, so whatev.

What do you believe happens when you die?
My atoms disperse into the universe and I become part of many, many different things.

Do you believe humans have a soul?
I don’t believe in souls.

Do you think often about death?
I do, actually.

What was your first experience with death?
Probably my grandpa dying when I was in 8th grade. He had a fairly rare cancer that basically killed him within a week of us realizing that there was an issue.

If it were possible, would you want to know when and how you die?
Sure. Who cares.

If you could choose how you would die, what would it be?
I’d like to die saving someone else’s life. Like, saving someone from a car wreck or pushing someone out of the way of bus or something. I’d like my death to have some sort of meaning to it, and that’s the best meaning I could think to have.

What do you think of cryogenics?
I’m assuming this question is actually referring to cryopreservation? If so, I’m cool with it for organs and tissues and stuff, but not whole humans. Does it even work for whole humans?

Questions About Handling Difficult Situations

How do you handle stress?
Badly.

How often do you find yourself stressed out?
Fairly frequently.

What stresses you out the most?
A lot of things, haha. Being rushed (like not having enough time to do something or not being able to get somewhere on time easily) is a big one. I also don’t like being in big groups of people. Or situations that are too loud.

How do you engage in self-care?
I crank up the music and enter a daydream/fantasy. I have like six that I generally pick from.

How often do you engage in self-care?
In the above form of self-care? A lot, haha.

How do you like being supported when feeling overwhelmed?
I either like to be left completely alone or be allowed to rant all to hell. Depends on if I’m more sad or more angry.

How do you support your friends, family members, and partners when they’re feeling overwhelmed?
I’m not very good at that, unfortunately. But I’ll listen in case they want to talk.

What are you thoughts on seeing a therapist?
It’s not for me.

(If in therapy) what do you like most about being in therapy?
Therapy does not work for me. Trust me, I’ve tried.

What do you dislike about being in therapy?
Not in therapy.

IS IT SURVEY TIME???

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

And you are?
WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

One thing a guy needs to know about you before you get into a relationship.
I’m married! So yeah, don’t try to get in a relationship with me.

Don’t you think that running around through revolving doors is fun?
Not particularly, no.

What’s something about other people that drives you crazy?
When they can’t figure out how to WALK COURTEOUSLY DOWN THE SIDEWALK OMFG IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE YOU LITTLE FARTS

What are you doing?
Watching YouTube videos and filling out this survey.

What are you thinking about?
How big of a failure I am.

What are you wearing?
A camo shirt. Underwear.

Baseball is the best sport hands down…right?
Damn straight!

Do you need to go see a counselor? 
Hahahahahahahaha probably.

It’s 3 in the morning… do your parents know where you are?
Yup.

Favorite flower?
Sunflower, I guess.

Do you like chocolate?
Indeed.

Ideal date? 
He doesn’t have to take me anywhere special. I just want to be able to talk to him freely. 

Like the movie Elf? 
It’s okay. It reminds me of junior high/high school band, ‘cause our band director ALWAYS had that as our Christmas movie we’d watch during class around the holiday.

Ok let’s talk travel, do you like to travel?
No. I used to, but I hate it now. The only thing I like about travel now is airports. I love airports. I have a problem.

Where have you been?
North America and Europe. Lots of states. Several provinces. Sweden, Finland, England.

Next place you want to go?
Can Antarctica count? I’ll never get there, but let’s count it.

What is something you MUST take with you when you travel?
My compy.

How do you like to travel?
I don’t.

With someone, or alone?
Alone.

Do you dance in your car when there are other people with you?
Sometimes. This is giving me flashbacks to that time I was back in Moscow and my little gang and I were driving around blasting the Numa Numa song AS LOUD AS WE COULD and doing the Numa Numa dance in the car. With the trunk open.

Say your having a bad day… what makes it better?
Brooding.

Best feeling in the world?
Success.

Worst?
Failure.

If your quiet what does it mean?
Meh. I’m pretty quiet most of the time I’d say.

Something that makes you smile?
Cats!

Do you have trust issues?
Ha.

Do you mind watching chick flicks?
Nah, they’re okay.

What about … movies like…. Gladiator or The Last Samurai?
I’ve never seen either of those.

Favorite scent?
I have anosmia, bro.

Favorite store?
Probably Walmart or something ‘cause I’m pathetic.

Say you wanted coffee.. what kind is your favorite?
I don’t drink coffee.

Favorite kind of pizza?
Cheese + olives. Supreme is good though, too.

Do you get embarrassed easily?
Meh.

What about feel awkward?
Always.

Do you mind people asking you personal questions?
Nah.

You have a tank of gas, $50, and the day off… what do you do?
Stay home. Save the money. I’d rather be at home, anyway.

When’s your birthday?
Groundhog Day!

Favorite tv show?
Chicago Hope is still the best thing ever. Fight me.

Song you turn the volume up all the way to listen to?
All of them Sleepyhead, Running Away, Blinding Lights.

Something you keep in your car?
I don’t have a car.

Highlight of your day?
That it’s ending soon.

If you need a hug at 3 in the morning, who do you ask?
I don’t ask anyone, but I know who I would ask. 

DO you ask?
Nope, but I know I can. That’s good enough for me.

BOO!
GHOSTS!

Did I scare you?
Nah.

Something you do everyday that you wish you didn’t have to do?
Exist.

What do you do when you like someone?
Obsess.

Do you mind if people just show up at your house unannounced?
Yes. Go away.

What do you do when you disagree with someone?
I usually don’t say anything if it’s something where disagreeing would not be worth it.

Do you enjoy rain?
I FREAKING HATE RAIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

You love Jesus, yes?
I suppose he was a cool dude.

skeebee

This survey is from TUMBLR and I have NO IDEA if those little icons are going to actually show up or not and I also have NO IDEA why I’m so freaking hyper right now but THAT’S THE BEST TIME TO FILL OUT A SURVEY, don’t you think?

YES.

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?
Well, I married mine, so yes.

💌- diary or journal?
Can I pick blog? I pick blog.

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?
Who do I relate to the most? I’m not sure, actually. I can tell you who I like the most, but I’d have to think a while on who I relate to the most.

💕- are you crushing on someone?
Nope, in love.

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?
Dark.

🍼- what is your favorite memory?
July 25, 2009. For reasons.

🌸- what is your favorite flower?
Sunflowers are pretty cool.

💖- have you ever been in love?
Yup.

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?
Vanilla

🍯- describe your favorite smell
LOL YOU’D LIKE THAT WOULDN’T YOU

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?
Cookies.

☕- coffee or tea?
Neither.

🍂- what’s your middle name?
Marie.

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?
Aquarius, Leo, Capricorn.

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?
Nothing. I hate rain. It messes up my walks.

🍭- how tall are you?
5’2.5”. That extra half-inch is important when you’re this freaking short.

🎄- what is your favorite holiday?
Christmas is pretty coolio.

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?
NO

🎶- favorite song right now?
The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights.”

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?
1) Don’t be a jerk to people; 2) have at least one thing you’re insanely passionate about; 3) be yourself (unless you’re a jerk, haha).

🍩- current mood?
Sad. As always. It’s my aesthetic, yo.

❄️- what is your favorite season?
Summer.

💍- your current relationship status?
Married!

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?
Meh.

🕊 – 3 habits you have?
1) walking obsessively…is that a habit? 2) panicking 3) escaping into one of my many fantasy scenarios while I listen to music

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?
As garbage. ‘Cause I’m garbage.

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?
See above.

🍓- one secret about yourself
If I tell you it won’t be a secret, now will it?

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?
I get…obsessive. It’s bad.

💔- the reason behind your last breakup?
Man, that was a while ago (2009). It was a mutual breakup, which I know people say sometimes when it’s actually not mutual, but in this case it was. I was moving to Vancouver to go to grad school; he was staying in Moscow to finish his undergrad. We decided to break up at the start of that summer.

💬- what your last text message says?
“Hahahaha.”

⛅- what is your morning routine?
Feed Jazzy, do bathroom stuff, get ready for my walk/run, walk/run.

💗- who do you miss?
My mom. My dad. Sean.

🥀- last time you cried?
A few hours ago.

🎁- when is your birthday?
Groundhog Day.

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?
That insanity with Rob at Idler’s Rest. I was 100% convinced we were going to die.

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?
Doesn’t matter.

Well this was a waste of time but SO IS MY LIFE

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? 
Hopefully!

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?
God no.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?
I’m always aggravated, so…whenever the last time it was I was happy.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
Sure.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
Hahaha, hopefully not.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
Not today, no.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?
Clothes.

8. How often do you listen to music?
At least once a day for a few hours.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?
Sweats.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014?
OLD SURVEY IS OLD

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?
People suck and might have viruses.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?
Nnnnnnno OH SHIT RIGHT, AARON! Hahaha, embarrassing.

13. What about ‘R’?
*shudders*

14. Can you drive a stick shift?
Haha, no. I probably can’t drive at all anymore, period.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
I think everyone cares about that, whether they want to admit it or not.

16. Are you going out of town soon?
Nope.

17. When was the last time you cried?
A few hours ago.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?
Duh?

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?
Blue is pretty. Or green.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?
Sure.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.
The fact that I’m me and almost everything I do is a mistake.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?
Eh.

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?
Nope, haha.

24. What are you sitting on right now?
A chair?

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Does my husband count as family?

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, high school.

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?
My husband.

28. Do you get a lot of colds?
Nope! I have a very good immune system.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
Walmart.

30. Does anyone hate you?
Probably.

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?
Nope.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?
Eh.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?
No.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
All. All the years.

35. Did you have a dream last night?
Probably, but not one I remember.

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Today.

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
Hopefully!

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
Hopefully!

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Doubt it.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?
Well, I had a root canal, SO.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?
Yup.

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?
Nope.

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
Maybe.

44. What’s the best part about school?
Everything. I like school.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
Yeah.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?
I never did, no.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
Always.

48. Were you single over the last summer?
Nope.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
In many ways,  yes.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Being productive.

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
Nope.

52. Are you nice to everyone?
I try to be, but no.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
Eh.

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
Done!

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Hahahaha, no.

56. Do you think you like someone?
Duh.

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?
No.

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
Dudes.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?
I think everyone in the world has seen me cry by this point.

60. Do you hate anyone?
No.

61. How’s your heart?
Fine.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
I’ll talk about anything, I don’t care anymore.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?
Yes.

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
No idea.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?
Nope.

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?
Nope.

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?
Uh…depends on what they’re crying about. Are they crying ‘cause they’re sad? I wouldn’t love that because I wouldn’t love my significant other to be sad. Are they crying because they saw an impossibly awesome cat? Yes, I would love that!

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?
Nope.

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
My mom.

70. How do you look right now?
Horrible, like always.

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?“
Sorta.

72. Can you commit to one person?
Done.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Sorta.

74. Have you ever felt replaced?
Haha, yeah.

75. Did you wake up cranky?
I don’t think so.

76. Are you a jealous person?
Very.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?
Yes.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?
No.

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?
I miss my mom.

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Walk.

81. Last person you cried in front of?
Husband.

82. Is there someone you will never forget?
Yes.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
Yes.

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
We’re in the same room right now.

85. Are you over your past?
Sure.

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
Haha. Yeah.

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
No.

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
Why would they be apologizing?

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
Well, it’s their house, so…

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
Welcome to the Rob saga, ladies and gentlemen.

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
What is with all the relationship questions?

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
Yes.

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Yes.

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
Husband.

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
Like…physical butterflies? No. Butterfly feelies? Yes.

Have I done this survey before? I think I have. Whatever. Screw it.

200: My crush’s name is: Does my husband count as a crush? He’s more than a crush, though, so…

199: I was born in: The ‘Scow.

198: I am really: Horrible.

197: My cellphone company is: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…uhhhhh…Shaw?

196: My eye color is: Hazel.

195: My shoe size is: Ten and a half in Saucony Kinvaras. Which are the only shoes I ever wear anymore, so yeah. Ten and a half.

194: My ring size is: No idea.

193: My height is: 5’2.5”

192: I am allergic to: Pineapples. Azmacort. Some sort of pollen.

191: My 1st car was: NON-EXISTENT!

190: My 1st job was: Wendy’s.

189: Last book you read: Oh god I don’t even know.

188: My bed is: Nice and soft and cozy.

187: My pet: Jazzy! She’s the best.

186: My best friend: I don’t think I have one. I don’t know if I even have any regular friends anymore.

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever the heck I use. I can’t remember. It’s in a green bottle.

184: Xbox or ps3: Xbox.

183: Piggy banks are: Something I’ve never seen in real life.

182: In my pockets: NO POCKETS JUST UNDERWEAR

181: On my calendar: Nothing. I, surprisingly, don’t use a calendar.

180: Marriage is: Happy.

179: Spongebob can: Do a lot of things. Spongily.

178: My mom: Is the best mom in the world.

177: The last three songs I bought were? I don’t freaking know. I’m not doing my daily songs, so everything is a blur and time is meaningless.

176: Last YouTube video watched: A video about the kilogram, because of course.

175: How many cousins do you have? Five?

174: Do you have any siblings? Nope!

173: Are your parents divorced? Yes.

172: Are you taller than your mom? No. There aren’t a lot of people that are shorter than me.

171: Do you play an instrument?  Several.

170: What did you do yesterday? I ran! I screwed around. I cried. The usual.

[ I Believe In ]

169: Love at first sight: Yes.

168: Luck: Yes.

167: Fate: Sure.

166: Yourself: I’m a horrible human being, so no.

165: Aliens: What a sad universe this would be if the only life out there was contained on this one little planet.

164: Heaven: Eh.

163: Hell: Eh.

162: God: No.

161: Horoscopes: They’re fun.

160: Soul mates: Considering I’m married to my soul mate, yes.

159: Ghosts: Maybe not in the typical way they’re portrayed, but yes.

158: Gay Marriage: How…how do you “believe in” gay marriage? It’s not like something that may or may not exist. Gay people exist. Some of them get married. Gay marriage is…real.

157: War: War is real..

156: Orbs: Dafuq is an orb?

155: Magic: Nah.

[ This or That ]

154: Hugs or Kisses: No touchy.

153: Drunk or High: Neither.

152: Phone or Online: Online, bitches!

151: Red heads or Black haired: OH GOD THAT’S A TOUGH CHOICE. Um, red.

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes, yo.

149: Hot or cold: I’d rather be too cold than too hot. This is frequently the case, so it works out.

148: Summer or winter: Summer.

147: Autumn or Spring: Ugh, neither.

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.

145: Night or Day: I love the sun, but I am most awake at night.

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples.

143: Curly or Straight hair: I’ve always wanted straight hair. I hate my freaking hair.

142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald’s.

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate. White chocolate is creepy.

140: Mac or PC: PC.

139: Flip flops or high heels: Neither.

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Would being sweet and poor erase my current ugliness, or am I stuck with that?

137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither.

136: Hillary or Obama: Dated survey is dated.

135: Buried or cremated: Throw me in the burny-burny. Then take some of my remains and scatter them on/near Leibniz’ grave. I am 100% not kidding about this.

134: Singing or Dancing: Singing!

133: Coach or Chanel: Don’t care.

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: I don’t know these humans.

131: Small town or Big city: Big city.

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Walmart.

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller is pretty great.

128: Manicure or Pedicure: No touchy.

127: East Coast or West Coast: What country are we referring to here?

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas.

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate. Half the appeal of flowers is lost on me because of NON-FUNCTIONING NOSE.

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney.

123: Yankees or Red Sox: METS.

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122: War: It’s…bad?

121: George Bush: MAN, WE HAD NO IDEA HOW BAD THINGS COULD GO FROM HERE, DID WE

120: Gay Marriage: Do it! I mean, if you’re gay. If you’re not, it won’t work.

119: The presidential election: The next one? It’ll be hell.

118: Abortion: Pro-choice.

117: MySpace: HA, does that exist anymore?

116: Reality TV: Reality cooking shows are pretty great.

115: Parents: Mine are good.

114: Back stabbers: They’re…bad?

113: Ebay: I haven’t used eBay in a looooong time.

112: Facebook: Blah.

111: Work: I like my work.

110: My Neighbors: I don’t know them.

109: Gas Prices: I don’t care about them personally, but Alberta is an oil province, so…

108: Designer Clothes: Give me gaudy Goodwill madness instead, please.

107: College: It’s my life.

106: Sports: BASEBALL

105: My family: My immediate family is good.

104: The future: Eh.

[ Last time I ]

103: Hugged someone: I hugged Nate this morning.

102: Last time you ate: Yesterday?

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

100: Cried in front of someone: Yesterday.

99: Went to a movie theater: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S 

98: Took a vacation: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S (yes, I’m going to use this for every relevant question)

97: Swam in a pool: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

96: Changed a diaper: Ew, I hate kids, no thanks.

95: Got my nails done: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

94: Went to a wedding: Q U A R A N T I N E  B I T C H E S

93: Broke a bone: Never.

92: Got a peircing: Whenever I got that industrial, so…2008?

91: Broke the law: It’s been a while.

90: Texted: A few minutes ago

[ MISC ]

89: Who makes you laugh the most: Nate is hilarious.

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I have already left home. I probably won’t see it again until at least next year. I’m sad.

87: The last movie I saw: I have no idea.

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: The end of this freaking pandemic nonsense.

85: The thing im not looking forward to: Continuing pandemic nonsense.

84: People call me: My name. Super original and unique, right?

83: The most difficult thing to do is: To be happy. I’m…not good at that.

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Nope.

81: My zodiac sign is: Aquarius.

80: The first person i talked to today was: Nate.

79: First time you had a crush: Hahahaha, let’s not go into that saga, shall we? (Fifth grade.)

78: The one person who I can’t hide things from: I can hide things from everyone.

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: My mom and I are always on the same wavelength. We’re creepy.

76: Right now I am talking to: No one.

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I am an adult right now! I teach math/stats.

74: I have/will get a job: See above.

73: Tomorrow: Will unfortunately happen.

72: Today: Is unfortunately happening.

71: Next Summer: Will hopefully be a lot more normal than this one, holy hellbaskets.

70: Next Weekend: Will be the same old boring nonsense.

69: I have these pets: Jazzy.

68: The worst sound in the world: Babies crying. Kids crying.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Me.

66: People that make you happy: Nothing makes me happy.

65: Last time I cried: Yesterday.

64: My friends are: Probably not actually my friends anymore. I am both forgettable and not good at keeping in touch with others.

63: My computer is: My bro.

62: My School: I’m surprisingly not going to school right now.

61: My Car: No car.

60: I lose all respect for people who: Aren’t taking this damn virus seriously.

59: The last movie I cried at was: Probably whatever the last movie I watched was.

58: Your hair color is: Black.

57: TV shows you watch: One of the TV stations up here, for whatever miraculous reason, shows Chicago Hope at 4 PM. I watch it religiously now that I’m stuck at home.

56: Favorite web site: I don’t know if I have one. The one I use the most is probably YouTube.

55: Your dream vacation: The Leibniz museum in Germany!

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: When I had appendicitis? I’m actually not sure.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: Well-done as all hell. Fight me.

52: My room is: Not a thing. I don’t have a room.

51: My favorite celebrity is: I’m all about Adam Arkin now that I’ve been getting my Chicago Hope fix. I really like him.

50: Where would you like to be: Nowhere.

49: Do you want children: GOD NO

48: Ever been in love: I currently am!

47: Who’s your best friend: I don’t know if I have one.

46: More guy friends or girl friends: More guy friends.

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Nothing.

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My mom.

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Get the tenure. That’s…that’s it. And keep walking obsessively.

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Eh.

41: Have you pre-named your children: I LOVE the name “Hugo.” I also love the name “Victor,” so that’s a problem. But I’m not having kids anyway, so…

40: Last person I got mad at: Myself.

39: I would like to move to: Nowhere. I love Calgary.

38: I wish I was a professional: Anything. Being a pro at something would be coolio.

[ My Favorites ]

37: Candy: M&Ms!

36: Vehicle: Car? Or do you want more specifics? A Jeep Wrangler with the plastic top.

35: President: Millard Fillmore!

34: State visited: Alaska.

33: Cellphone provider: I don’t think I have a favorite.

32: Athlete: Oh god, a bunch of baseball players.

31: Actor: As above, Adam Arkin.

30: Actress: Dunno.

29: Singer: Chris Martin from Coldplay.

28: Band: Coldplay.

27: Clothing store: Uh…no idea.

26: Grocery store: Superstore is great ‘cause it’s cheap, but it’s probably COVID CENTRAL right now.

25: TV show: Chicago Hope!

24: Movie: Sunshine.

23: Website: I’ve done this one already.

22: Animal: Cat.

21: Theme park: Have I ever been to a theme park? Disneyland counts, right? Disneyland.

20: Holiday: Christmas.

19: Sport to watch: Baseball!

18: Sport to play: I don’t do sports.

17: Magazine: I used to read Mental Floss.

16: Book: The Caine Mutiny.

15: Day of the week: I’ve always liked Tuesdays and I have no idea why.

14: Beach: Whatever that one was in Hawaii.

13: Concert attended: I’ve only ever seen OK Go.

12: Thing to cook: Spaghetti is easy as hell and is also probably one of the “fastest” things I can cook. I take 4 hours to make a salad and I’m not even kidding.

11: Food: Broccoli. Cheese. Cheesy broccoli!

10: Restaurant: Mongolian BBQ. I hope it survives all this madness.

9: Radio station: 106.1 in Moscow.

8: Yankee candle scent: ANOSMIA, BITCHES

7: Perfume: See above.

6: Flower: I like sunflowers.

5: Color: Orange.

4: Talk show host: I have no idea.

3: Comedian: Brian Regan! Ben Baily is great, too.

2: Dog breed: I don’t think I have one.

1: did you answer all these truthfully? I TRIED, OKAY?!?!?!?!?!

How the Shit is it Still Only March?

It’s another one of these survey doodads, hip-hip-hooray.

1. If there’s a personal god, what quality would you most like that person to have (and why)?
Can…can they just be Leibniz? If so, that.

2. What’s your death-row meal?
Souls.

3. Assuming we make it through this outbreak with minimal loss of life, what do you think our big takeaway should be?
Don’t hide the severity of a medical emergency, no matter how bad it makes your country look.

4. Whom do you find yourself missing more than you would’ve predicted?
Sean. I really miss Sean.

5. What brings you the most joy? Not happiness, not contentment — JOY.
Not much brings me joy anymore. Hell, I can’t think of anything that consistently brings me joy right now.

6. Do you find yourself regretting anything you’ve said or done on social media?
Pfft. I regret nothing. P.S., if you go far enough back in this blog, you’ll find some primo r/IAmVerySmart material.

7. What are your favorite and least favorite things about your body and face?
Favorite: nothing
Least favorite: everything
I’m not kidding.

9. How’s the self-isolation affecting your libido?
Hah. What libido?

10. Which three places in the physical universe would you most like to visit?
The sun, Antarctica, Hanover. I know those are pretty “close” given the whole physical universe, but hey. I don’t like to travel.

11. On whom did you have a crush years ago? Have you ever told them?
We all know the Lead saga. We don’t need to go through the Lead saga.

12. How have your religious views changed since you were in high school?
Not at all.

13. If you could change one law, what would it be?
People should be promptly ticketed for not taking care of their sidewalks in the winter. I know there are laws – sort of – that are supposed to motivate people to clean snow/ice/slush off their sidewalks, but I truly think that they should be enforced to the same degree as things like speeding tickets, parking tickets, etc. Think of it this way: if cities waited as long to clean off portions of roads as some people wait to clear their sidewalks, think what a big fit everyone would raise?

S-s-surveyo

You know the drill.

Do you think any of your exs still want to be with you?
Hahahaha, I seriously doubt it.

Has a boyfriend/​​​​​​​​​girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you?
Nope. Not that I know of.

Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed.
That would be rough. Neither of us want kids.

Will this Friday be a good one?
Tomorrow? Who the hell knows. Everything is chaos and fear right now.

When was the last time you completely broke down?
A couple weeks or so ago when I realized that this damn virus was going to fuck up the whole summer (and probably beyond).

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
Probably.

Are you nice to the people you dislike?
There aren’t many people I dislike. I don’t interact with them.

Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to?
To an extent, yes.

What are you excited for?
Not much.

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?
HOW DID YOU FIND ME

Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for?
Yup.

Does sex mean love?
No.

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
Hahaha. Yes.

What’s something you really want right now?
Normalcy.

What was the first thing you did this morning?
Probably pet Jazzy. I’m not super coherent in the mornings.

What is your relationship status?
Married to the best man in the world.

What did the last text in your inbox say? From Who.
“Hahahaha” from my mom.

What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person?
Half a year-ish. God, 2008 was a suck hole.

Are you listening to music right now?
No, surprisingly.

Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
Nah.

What’s in your purse?
I don’t have a purse.

Is your name a common name?
I would say it’s not super common. I remember a lady at the Moscow DMV was named Claudia, but that’s the only “real life” Claudia I think I’ve met.

What is your favorite color out of these 5: Green, yellow, blue, pink, or red?
Yellow.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Walking and not working (it’s my “day off”).

You receive $500 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
Probably clothes. Or broccoli. Or walking shoes.

Where will you be in an hour?
Still here at my compy!

Is anything bothering you right now?
HAVE YOU SEEN THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS?

What do you think about math?
YAY!

How is your mood?
Mild panic.

What time is it?
3:30 AM.

Where’s your phone?
On the bookshelf beside me.

Who was your last text from?
My mom.

Why did you last cry?
Because I’m me and that’s just what I do.

In the past week have you cried?
Oh god yes.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
I miss my mom.

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold?
Being cold is basically my default state; I can deal with it. Being too hot sucks.

How many cell phones have you had in your life?
I’d say…six?

Are you happy with the way things are going?
Personally? Sure. As far as the whole world goes? Ha.

Total Eclipse of the BUTT

what’s your favorite way to dress?
As colorfully and obnoxiously as possible. And in comfortable clothes.

if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be?
All. All of it.

what movie/game/etc. helps you calm down?
Euro/American Truck Simulator. So calming, yo.

what does your room smell like?
GREAT QUESTION I HAVE NO IDEA LOLOLOLOLOL

do you like to organize?
I do indeed.

what kind of music would you listen to if you could only choose one?
Like, what genre? That’s a tough one. Electronic, maybe, ‘cause that gives a decently wide range of types of songs.

what color do you think goes best with your personality?
What color is anger? Red? Red.

do you believe in auras?
Sure, why not?

is there someone you have mixed feelings towards?
Nah.

talk about a story you came up with
Uhhhhhh so I wrote this story in 4th grade about this family of like eleven kids where one of the kids was a super genius and she was hell bent on making a canoe out of soda cans in order to enter it in a canoe race. I wrote it all in a purple journal. It took up the whole journal. It was a weird-ass story, but it was the first and last time I ever wrote a story of that length from start to finish without jumping round.

do you like makeup?
I do indeed. I’m not very good with it; I mainly put on a metric ton of super bright eyeshadow and call it good.

do you prefer space or the ocean?
Ocean, but only if I can stay on top of it (in a ship). I like ships.

if you could pick any planet besides earth, where would you live?
Jupiter!

what animal would you keep as a pet, if you could?
Cats are all I need.

what do you think our purpose is in the universe?
To be.

is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it?
I have trouble with Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters because that song is so heavily associated with Rob and all that garbage that surrounded that whole situation. It’s a great song, though.

what is your favorite thing to learn about?
I like learning about mathematicians and statisticians and/or the history of math and stats.

what country’s history do you find the most interesting?
United States. It’s such a fascinating history in my opinion.

what breakup was the hardest, if you had one?
The one with Rob, ‘cause he wouldn’t go away. Oh my god that was hell.

do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend?
I used to. 2008, man. 2008.

what instrument do you wish you could master?
I’d love to be good at the cello, ‘cause cellos are beautiful.

how easy is it for you to be honest?
Pretty easy, I’d say. Or am I lying?!?!?!?

do you have any strange interests?
Hah. Hahaha. Um. I don’t know if any *strange* interests, per se. “Unusual” is probably a better descriptor. I like cloud typing. The kilogram. Units of measurement in general. Leibniz. The sun. Wallpaper groups. Mathematical conflicts during the European Age of Enlightenment. That kind of stuff.

do you have any strange fears?
I really don’t like dragonflies. I don’t know if I fear them, but I definitely don’t like them.

when you get angry, how do you show it?
I cry. I yell. I brood. “But Claudia,” you say, “you’re always doing one of those three things!” Exactly.

what do you listen to music on?
S E N N H E I S E R S

earbuds or headphones?
Oh god, headphones please.

do you like light blankets or heavy blankets?
My weighted blanket is so calming. I love him.

YOU KNOW THE DRILL

What is the closest grocery store to your house?
Safeway, I think.

When was the last time you colored with crayons?
Like, wax crayons? It’s been a long, long time.

Have you ever owned a plant? What was it?
I had a cactus when I was younger. I was never very good with plants.

Have you met anyone famous?
I don’t think so.

What was the worst injury you have ever had?
Whatever the hell I did to my knee/leg in 2017. That’s pretty much the only injury I’ve ever had.

At thanksgiving dinner, what is the first thing you go for?
That broccoli thing my mom and dad always make.

When you were a kid, who was your best pal?
In elementary school it was Anastasia before she moved away. GE before her, too, I guess.

Do you have any special talents?
Ha. “Talents.” No.

Have you ever been to a nursing home?
Yup.

What kind of job did your mom have when you were growing up?
She did web design and graphic design for the U of I.

Have you ever known anyone that’s been on tv, including you?
Probably. A lot of people have been on TV.

What was the most interesting animal you have seen in the wild?
A bald eagle!

What holiday do you enjoy the most?
Christmas.

What was the first video game you ever played?
Either Doom or Cosmic Osmo, haha.

What is the one thing you own, that if it got lost, you would be bummed?
My iPod. I’m so attached to that little dude. He goes everywhere with me, though, and I’m constantly making sure I have him, so I’d be shocked if I ever lost him.

Do you have a favorite breakfast item?
I don’t eat breakfast. I do like cereal, though. And eggs.

What do you find yourself buying all the time?
Tank tops. Broccoli. Eyeshadow.

When was the last time you got a real letter in the mail?
Christmas. My mom and dad sent Christmas letters, if those count.

Do you have a most prized piece of jewelry?
My wedding ring!

Do you own any board games?
Yup.

What chore seems the most daunting right now?
Laundry. I hate doing laundry.

Were you born in the state you live in?
Bro, I’m not even in a state right now!

Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into?
I don’t think so. Though at the other place I lived here in Calgary, one day I came home and my window was wide open. So that’s…suspicious.

What is your favorite cheese?
Colby-Jack.

Who do you know that watches the most sports?
Hahaha, my mom.

AAAAAAAA I DON’T HAVE A TITLE AAAAAAAAA

If you saw a dog locked in a hot car, what would you do?
If it was a car parked in front of a shop/store/whatev, I’d probably go see if I could find the owner (as long as the dog wasn’t in too much visible distress). Then I’d call the cops and, if necessary, break a window to save the dog.

Is it easy for you to accept help when you need it?
Help is for SUCKERS

Have you ever been in a fashion show?
Haha, nope.

Would you like to be famous?
Can I be famous without having to deal with constant paparazzi? Then yes.

What is your most compulsive habit?
We’re not going to go there, huh?

What do you most strive for in your life: accomplishment, security, love, power, excitement, knowledge, or something else?
Knowledge, I’d say.

How close and warm is your family?
They’re pretty good I suppose. My mom and I are super close.

Does that fact that you have never done a thing before increase or decrease its appeal to you?
Depends on what it is. Bungee jumping? Never done it before, but I have no desire to. Get a tattoo? Never done it before, but getting one sounds coolio.

If your friends start belittling a common acquaintance, would you defend that person?
I’d like to think I’d do better with this now than I used to.

Do you make a special effort to thank someone who does you a favor? How do you react when you aren’t thanked for going out of your way for someone?
I try to. If I do someone a small favor I don’t really mind if they don’t say “thank you,” but if I did something relatively big for them, it irks me a bit, yeah.

Since adolescence, in what 3-year period do you feel you experienced the most personal growth and change?
2007-2010. I don’t know about personal growth, but I really feel like this was my own personal little “Age of Enlightenment” era (especially 2007) because holy damn my knowledge of the world exploded.

When you do something ridiculous, how much does it bother you to have other people notice it and laugh at you?
A lot.

Do you believe in capital punishment?
Yes.

Do you find it so hard to say “no” that you regulalry do favors you do not want to do?
Yes.

SURVEY IT UP!

Hey so remember that survey I do at the end of every year?

LET’S DO IT AGAIN! ‘Cause repetitive content is FUN and ENJOYABLE, right?

What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?
HAVE MY OWN OFFICE! I only just got it in September, but that totally counts. I love it so much.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
There will soon be a blog post regarding this!

Did anyone close to you give birth?
For the first time in like five years, none of my old friends have had kids.

Did anyone close to you die?
My grandma on my mom’s side died. I’m not sure if she counts as “close” because we hated each other and I haven’t spoken to her in like a decade, but I guess she is “close” family-wise. So.

What countries did you visit?
USA.

What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
More free time.

What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Can’t think of any.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting that lecturer position. A step above a sessional instructor!

What was your biggest failure?
Existing.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope!

What was the best thing you bought?
I have no idea. I can’t remember everything I bought and no single purchase is standing out as the best thing I bought.

Where did most of your money go?
Condo fees. Broccoli. Eyeshadow. Music.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My new job! And teaching calculus. That was bomb.

What song will always remind you of 2019?
Door by Caroline Polachek

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Procrastinated.

How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas was a few days ago. Went walking/running in the morning, then spent most of the day in SeaTac. Now I’m chilling with my mom!

Did you fall in love in 2019?
I stayed in love in 2019.

How many one-night stands?
ZERO!

What was your favourite TV program?
I don’t know if there were any new shows (“new” as in new to existence or “new” as in new to me”). So Chicago Hope, as always.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.

What was the best book you read?
Shamefully, the only book I’ve read is the one I’m (re-)reading now: On the Beach by Nevil Shute. So that one.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
That will be revealed on the 31st!

What was your favourite film of this year?
Probably End Game. I didn’t like it nearly as much as I liked Infinity War and I feel like I liked it less than most people did, but it definitely wasn’t horrible. I enjoyed it—just not as much as I was expecting to.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31 and spent four hours of the day walking in -15°F weather. Turns out that that would be a preview for the rest of the month of February.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
Not being me.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?
alelrdfgbakklcwgefksf

What kept you sane?
I think any milligram of sanity I had left at the start of the year has now disintegrated into thin air.

Which celebrity/public figure(s) did you fancy the most?
Leibniz. Always and forever.

Who did you miss?
My mom.

Who was the best new person you met?
Uhhhhhhhhhh I don’t think I met anyone new. John, maybe? Sure. John.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019:
Sometimes good things happen to terrible people.

ZZZZZZZA

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’s a survey!

Are you shocked?

One. What is your middle name?
The most common female middle name in the U.S.

Two. What are you passionate about?
Teaching statistics and math, statistics and math, walking, Leibniz, blogging…that kind of stuff.

Three. Zebra or leopard print?
Ugh, neither.

Four. Do you have any fears?
Meh.

Five. Silver or gold?
Gold.

Six. Top three places to visit.
Places I’ve been or places that I think would be my top three places to visit?
Top three places I’ve been: Stockholm, DC, California redwoods (I haven’t been a lot of places, haha).
Top three places I think would be my top three places: Antarctica, Hanover, Stockholm.

Seven. How many siblings do you have?
ZERO!

Eight. Where are you from?
The ‘Scow.

Nine. First career you wanted as a child.
I wanted to be an “artist” (as vague as that is).

Ten. What’s your sign?
Aquarius, bitches!

Eleven. Future names of your children.
I do not want children, thanks. HOWEVER, I have considered what I would name my kid(s) should I ever have them. Even though I shall not have them. Actually, I’ve really only ever considered names for boys, ‘cause in this horrible alternate timeline where I’m forced to be a parent, I’ve at least been kind enough to myself to only have boys, ‘cause I don’t think I could handle girls. ANYWAY. The problem (and reason #52354 why I shouldn’t have kids) is I like the names “Victor” and “Hugo” for boys, and if I were to have two boys, I’d probably name them “Victor” and “Hugo” and they and myself would be forever considered to be huge Victor Hugo fans and that’s just…it would be a lifelong issue.
But I do not want children and will never have children, so moot point.
(That was a lot of text, sorry)

Twelve. Do you have any pets?
YUP! We have Jazzy and Franklin, though Franklin is definitely more of Nate’s bird than mine.

Thirteen. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing, actually. Shocking!

Fourteen. Do you believe in fate/destiny?
Yes.

Fifteen. What are your career goals?
I want to do what I’m doing now, only permanently. In other words, I want this instructor position to turn in to a tenure-track position and then, eventually, tenure. I have no idea if that’s going to happen, but that would be fantastic. A dream come true.

Sixteen. What is your favorite color?
Orange!

Seventeen. What is your favorite flower?
Flowers don’t do too much for me, probably because I can’t smell them. I’ve always liked sunflowers, though. They’re massive and pretty.

Eighteen. What was the first concert/show you attended?
OK Go.

Nineteen. Something you are working on right now.
Hahaha. A LOT of things. But the “main” thing is my Decade of Music project wrap-up.

Twenty. Have you ever had a near-death experience?
That night at Idler’s Rest with Rob certainly felt like a near-death experience. I was sure we were going to be killed. Creepiest thing that’s ever happened to me.

Twenty-one. Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early?
I try not to procrastinate, but sometimes it just happens.

Twenty-two. Left or right handed?
Right-handed.

Twenty-three. TV Shows you watch regularly.
Lately? Chicago Hope (re-runs are on one of the five stations we get up here, so WOO), Top Chef (we’re watching the old seasons together), and Riverdale.

Twenty-four. Where do you work?
U of C.

Twenty-five. Halloween costume idea for this year?
Halloween is OVER!

Twenty-six. What is your relationship status?
Married!

Twenty-seven. Last movie you just watched.
I have no idea what movies we’ve seen recently. I can barely remember what I did yesterday.

Twenty-eight. Your best friend’s name.
I don’t think I have a best friend.

Twenty-nine. A song that’s been stuck in your head.
“It’s a Shame” by First Aid Kit

Thirty. A book you want to read/have recently read.
I don’t even remember the last book I read. HOW SAD IS THAT. The next book I want to (re-)read is Nevil Shute’s On the Beach.

Suuuuuuurvey

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
In bed.

Are you waiting for something?
I’m waiting for the semester to be over so I can go to Moscow. I miss my mom.

On the opposite sex where do you like them to have piercings?
Multiple ear piercings is pretty hot. I like eyebrow rings, too.

Have you ever kissed someone and hated it?
I didn’t hate it, but I certainly didn’t really feel anything from it. I was mostly like, “please don’t let it get any further than this.”

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Duh, we’re married.

Would you date someone who smokes?
The smell wouldn’t bother me, but I wouldn’t be a fan of my partner putting themselves at higher risk for all sorts of health issues. Not a fan of second-hand smoke, either. I need these lungs to power through 15-mile walks, yo.

Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
What kind of drugs? Weed? Sure. Meth? Probably not.

Have you ever dated someone more than once?
As in…”went on a second date with them” or as in “dated them, broke up, then got back together again?” Yes to the former, no to the latter.

Could you handle a long distance relationship?
Possibly? I’ve never had one before.

If you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be?
Y’all know who I’m going to pick. It’s not even a contest. I know he doesn’t probably actually count as a “celebrity,” but he’s a celebrity to me, dammit.

Do you like cuddling?
Most of the time, yes. But if I’m upset, I do not like to be touched. Like, at all. Get away.

Do you hold grudges?
I do. I try not to, but I’m really freaking good at it, so…

Do you regret dating anyone?
The whole Rob thing was just…no. No thanks.

Hugger or kisser?
Both, I guess?

Missing someone?
I miss Sean. I miss all my old band nerd friends. I miss Annabelle.

Whats the most important thing in a relationship?
Mutual respect.

What would make you break up with someone?
Only once have I been the one initiating the breakup. It was because he 1) was so negative (like, even worse than me); 2) hated my friends; 3) hated everything else; 4) still lived with his clingy, unstable ex and didn’t really see this as an issue. So yeah, it takes quite a bit for me to break up with someone.

Have you ever loved someone who didn’t love you back?
lolololololololololol fuck you

Do you like someone at the moment?
Durh.

The last person you kissed needs you at 3 am and you have a way to their house – would you go?
Of course. I’m usually up at 3 AM and just happen to live with the last person I kissed, so that’d be easy!

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
The last time I looked in the mirror.

What was the last thing you cried about?
I couldn’t get my necklace chain hooked and I basically had a mental breakdown over it. ‘Cause I’m stable like that.

Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you’re sure they won’t tell anyone?
No.

What are your plans for the weekend?
Be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

How many hours did you sleep last night?
Uhhhhhhhh like three?

Have you ever cried while in the shower?
That’s one of the few private places I can go, so yes. I cry a lot in the shower.

Could you go a day without eating?
Easily.

When was the last time you talked to your number 2?
What is this, MySpace? I don’t know who my “real life” “number 2” would be, sorry.

Do your parents force you to go to church or let you make the decision?
When I was in elementary school, yes, my dad made me go to church on Saturdays. Once I got older, that dissolved pretty quickly.

Is there someone you want to fight?
Not currently.

Do you believe in true love?
Indeed.

When was the last time you were disappointed?
I’m disappointed every time I look in the mirror, so…

Do you miss your past?
I miss different parts of it at different times. I’m a sucker for reminiscing.

What are you doing tonight?
Not much. I have to get up early tomorrow FOR THE LAST TIME THIS SEMESTER to go on my super early walk, so bed has to happen at a somewhat reasonable hour.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
Doubt it.

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you?
Most likely. I’m a very dislikeable person.

Who wants a survey? …No one? LET’S DO ONE ANYWAY

You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station:
M&Ms and Red Bull. That’s probably all $10 would get me, haha.

If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
A sea anemone. Or an octopus. Or one of those ostentatious and weird deep, deep sea dudes.

Whos your favorite redhead?
Sean!

What do you order when you’re at IHOP?
Uh…probably pancakes? The one and only time I was in an IHOP was in 2007 with Maddie and her Boise friends. Don’t remember what I ordered.

Last book you read?
Oh god, I don’t know. Isn’t that sad? I haven’t read for pleasure in quite a few years.

Describe your mood.
*makes farting noises with mouth*

Describe the last time you were injured?
The last time I was “seriously” injured was the Leg Incident on August 9, 2017. Apart from that, there’s been nothing but bruises/cuts/the usual human wounds that just appear from living.

Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Why would I want to subject one of my friends to the bottom of a well?

Rock concert or symphony?
Symphony!

What is the wallpaper of your cell phone?
One of my drawings.

Favorite Soda?
None.

What type of shirt are you wearing?
Tank top, of course.

If you could only use one form of transportation:
WALKING

Most recent movie you have watched in theatres?
UHHHHHHHHHHHH Spiderman: Far From Home?

Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for:
I have the hots for Chris Martin’s voice, does that count?

Whats your favorite kind of cake?
German chocolate

What did you have for dinner last night?
Pasta and broccoli

Look to your left, what do you see?
Jazzy in Nate’s chair!

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Yes?

Favorite toy as a child?
Art stuff, if that counts.
21. Do you buy your own groceries?
Yup.
22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
Surely.

Whens the last time you had gummy worms?
Not that long ago, actually.

Whats your favorite fruit?
Apples

Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
Nope.

Do you like running long distances?
I like running, yes! I’m trying to get back into long distances.

Have you ever eaten snow?
Yup.

What color are your bedsheets?
Do you honestly think I’m observant enough to know the answer to this?

Whats your favorite flower?
I dunno. Sunflowers are cool.

Do you do ballet?
Hahahahaha.

Do you listen to classical music?
Sure.

What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head?
The Simpsons.

Do you watch Sponge bob?
I used to.

What temperature is it outside right now?
COLD

Do people consider you smart?
Maybe?

How many piercings do you have?
Three.

Are you signed on AIM?
Nope.

Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
Hahaha, WHY

How do you feel about your family?
They’s cool.

Do you have an iPod?
Indeed!

What time do you go to bed?
11 PM if I have to do one of my 4 AM walks. Somewhere between 4 AM and 6 AM if I don’t.

What CD is currently in your CD player?
Nothing.

What movie do you know every line to?
Mystery Men. I know every line to a lot of other movies, too (‘cause that’s what my brain has decided is important), but I could recite Mystery Men with all the dialogue, inflections, and actions without any trouble at all.

What is your favorite salad dressing?
Caesar.

What do you want for Christmas this year?
No idea.

What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where?
Of my “close” family members, it’s my dad down in Boise.

Do you like hugs?
Sure.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
The last time I engaged in BUTTERFLY CONSUMPTION

What’s the happiest moment/thing/day you can remember?
That is PRIVATE INFORMATION, SON

Last person you hugged?
Nate!

INNIT TO WINNIT

SURVEYLICIOUS, BITCHES

Who was the last person you held hands with?
My husband.

Are you outgoing or shy?
I’m a shy little bugger.

Who are you looking forward to seeing? Where?
THIS SEMESTER in my REAR VIEW MIRROR

Are you easy to get along with?
I think so; I tend to I avoid confrontation.

If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
I think Nate would be utterly confused and disappointed if I ever got drunk, but I bet he’d still take care of me.

What kind of people are you attracted to?
I’ve always found people who are very passionate (like, borderline obsessive) about one or two things to be very attractive. Not sure why.

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
I hope so!

Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
Leibniz. ‘Cause always Leibniz.

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Eh.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Nate.

What does the most recent text that you sent say?
“Hahaha.”

Do you like it when people play with your hair?
I don’t mind it, though no one has played with my hair in a long time.

Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Sure.

What good thing happened this summer?
I got the job I wanted!

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Absolutely.

Do you think there is life on other planets?
Indeed.

Do you still talk to your first crush?
UHHHHH NOPE

Do you like bubble baths?
If I had to pick bubble bath or bubble-less bath, I would pick the bubble bath.

Do you like your neighbors?
I don’t know any of my neighbors.

What are you bad habits?
Let’s not get into that.

Where would you like to travel?
If I had to travel, I’d pick Antarctica (and Hanover as a second choice). But I’d prefer not to travel at all.

Do you have trust issues?
Meh.

Favorite part of your daily routine?
Walking!

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
Yes.

What do you do when you wake up?
ACTIVATE TEH SADNESS

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
I don’t care.

Who are you most comfortable around?
My mom. Nate. Cats.

Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
Hahaha. Flashbacks to 2008/2009.

Do you ever want to get married?
Been there, done that!

Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?
Yup.

Spell your name with your chin.
cloaudiuas (that’s not too bad)

Do you play sports? What sports?
I used to do marching band. It’s a sport, fight me.

Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV.

Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
WELCOME TO MY YOUNG ADULT LIFE

What do you say during awkward silences?
Be silent.

What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Walmart (I’m trash), Goodwill.

What do you want to do after high school?
Exactly what I’m doing now.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Sure.

If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean?
I’m lost in one of my fantasy worlds. Leave me alone.

Do you smile at strangers?
If I have to.

Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
Space.

What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
Walking.

What are you paranoid about?
Not much, I don’t think.

Have you ever been high?
Nope.

Have you ever been drunk?
Nope.

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
I don’t think so.

What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
Man, I don’t know. Olive green?

Ever wished you were someone else?
Constantly.

One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
Everything.

Favourite makeup brand?
Probably Wet n’ Wild. Good quality + affordable.

Favourite colour?
Orange.

Favourite food?
Healthy: broccoli
Unhealthy: M&Ms

Last thing you ate?
I had a jolly rancher a little while ago.

First thing you ate this morning?
The jolly rancher I had a little while ago.

Ever won a competition?
Yup.

Been suspended/expelled?
Nope.

Been arrested? For what?
Nope.

Ever been in love?
I currently am!

Tell us the story of your first kiss?
Hahaha. Let’s just say there was drag involved (for both of us), a dance floor, and the song “Sex Tonight.”

Are you hungry right now?
Nah.

Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
I don’t have any Tumblr friends. Or hardly any real friends.

Facebook or Twitter?
Twitter.

Twitter or Tumblr?
Twitter.

Are you watching tv right now?
No.

Names of your best friends?
Don’t really have any. Maddie, maybe? Sean?

Craving something? What?
Happiness.

What colour are your towels?
They’re striped.

How many pillows do you sleep with?
Two.

Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Nope.

How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
One. She’s in a closet somewhere, though.

What colour is your underwear?
Teal.

Chocolate or Vanilla?
Chocolate, unless it’s ice cream. Then vanilla.

Favourite ice cream flavour?
Oreo.

What colour shirt are you wearing?
It’s got a galaxy on it.

What colour pants?
Mostly blue.

Favourite tv show?
Chicago Hope. The fact that it isn’t on DVD is criminal.

Favourite movie?
Sunshine!

Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
Gill.

First person you talked to today?
Nate.

Last person you talked to today?
Nate.

Name a person you hate?
Trump.

Name a person you love?
Nate!

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
No.

In a fight with someone?
No.

How many sweatpants do you have?
Hahaha, a lot. But most of them are backup winter walking pants, so they’re stored away in boxes.

How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
Four or five.

Last movie you watched?
Uhhhhhh I don’t remember.

Favourite actress?
I don’t know if I have one.

Favourite actor?
Not sure if I have one. I’ve been watching a lot of Chicago Hope lately, though, so let’s say Adam Arkin. Tom Hanks is also killer.

Do you tan a lot?
I tan a reasonable amount. I tan before I burn.

Have any pets?
Jazzy! Franklin!

How are you feeling?
Burnt out.

Do you type fast?
100-110 WPM if I concentrate.

Do you regret anything from your past?
Lots.

Can you spell well?
W-E-L-L

Do you miss anyone from your past?
I do. I’ve really been missing Sean a lot lately.

Ever been to a bonfire party?
Yup!

Ever broken someone’s heart?
Maybe?

Have you ever been on a horse?
Probably as a kid.

What should you be doing?
Working.

Is something irritating you right now?
LIFE

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
Haha. Not gonna answer that one.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Nate.

Have you ever been out of your province/state?
Yup.

Do you play the Wii?
I played it a few times back when I was living with the dudes in the house.

Are you listening to music right now?
No, surprisingly.

Do you like chicken noodle soup?
Meh.

Do you like Chinese food?
Not particularly.

Favourite book?
The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Nope.

Are you mean?
Meaner than I’d like to be.

Is cheating ever okay?
It is not.

Can you keep white shoes clean?
Ha. No.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes.

Do you believe in true love?
Yes.

Are you currently bored?
Not particularly.

What makes you happy?
Walking. Teaching. Not being a failure.

Would you change your name?
My name is fine.

What your zodiac sign?
Aquarius.

Do you like Subway?
Hellz yeah. Tuna, cheese, mayo, and olives, ‘cause I’m a freak of nature that likes all those things mashed together between bread.

Can you count to one million?
Yes, but why?

Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
Half the time I sleep on the couch/in my chair/in my office chair/on the floor, so I’m not super picky.

How tall are you?
5’2”.

Curly or Straight hair?
Straight.

Brunette or Blonde?
Blonde.

Summer or Winter?
Summer.

Night or Day?
Day.

Favourite month?
July.

Are you a vegetarian?
No, but I don’t eat very much meat.

Dark, milk or white chocolate?
Milk.

Tea or Coffee?
Tea.

Was today a good day?
Eh.

Mars or Snickers?
Snickers.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Sure.

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“Could a set of three vectors in R4 span all of R4? (It’s my old linear algebra textbook, haha.)

Ya sure a survey why not

Where do you go to decompress from the world?
Anywhere where I can be alone. I’m so over dealing with people.

If given $10,000, what would you do with it?
I should save it, but I’d probably end up buying obnoxiously expensive headphones and/or many, many pairs of Kinvaras.

What is one major renovation you would love to make on your house?
Meh. The windows need fixing. Pretty boring.

What is one movie that you love and didn’t expect to love?
Sunshine. I found it at a Bookmans in Tucson and got it simply because I loved a song from the soundtrack. I never expected the movie to be as good as it is.

What is the oldest knick-knack you own and what is its sentimental value?
Probably a little music box from when I was a kid. It’s a little circular thing with a dancing kitty in it. It still works, too, I think.

Do you own any books you keep out of obligation, but actually hate?
I don’t think so?

How many countries have you visited outside of the one you live in now?
Uh…four. Good ol’ ‘Murica, Sweden, Finland, and England.

Have you ever read only part of a book, but claimed you’ve read the whole thing
Probably. I did, however, read the entirety of War and Peace in 7th grade because the guy I liked was trying to do the same thing and I was like “SURELY HE’LL LIKE ME IF I BEST HIM AT THIS REALLY DUMB TASK LOLOLOLOL I’M A GENIUS.”

If you could change your name, what would it be?
Meh. I’m cool with my name.

What is a nickname a former (or present) lover gave you?
Nate just calls me “Love.” It’s wonderful. I’m also “Lizard Wife” on occasion because I produce no body heat.

How do you style your hair? If you just would say “cut” what style is it?
I comb it and hope for the best. I hate my freaking hair and how dumb it looks no matter what I do with it.

How many colors are you wearing now?
Approximately six.

Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Ha. Ha.

What was the last song to get stuck in your head?
Doja Cat’s “Juicy” was stuck in my head during my walk the other day.

What is your least favorite thing to do that you have to do everyday?
Exist.

Best time of your life?
I enjoyed my time back at the U of I when I was getting my math degree. Teaching + taking classes was enjoyable, especially after I found a group of math nerds to hang out with. Things were good and chill.

What are you most looking forward to in the coming year?
My semester off. Holy crap, I really need it. This burnout is destructive on so many levels.

KABOOM IT’S A SURVEY

Pointless internet surveys is part of my blog’s aesthetic. You just don’t get it, man.

Fortune
[X] Material things mean a lot to you. [I treat material things as if they have souls and feelings like living things. They basically are living things to me. Don’t’ judge.]
[X] The reason you try hard in school is so you are very successful.
[ ] Your parents push you to become very wealthy.
[X] You already live in a moderately-rich climate.
[X] You have a job.
[ ] Money is better than love.
[ ] You want to own your own business.
[X] You go shopping at least once a week. [I buy my stuff like one item at a time, so yeah.]
[ ] You own a car.
[ ] One day you hope to have a very nice house and car.
Total: 5.

Knowledge
[X] You get mostly all A’s in school.
[X] Many people call you very smart or intelligent. [LIARS]
[X] Sometimes you get good grades without even studying
[X] You enjoy learning about the world and everything in it.
[X] You’re a very curious person.
[X] You want to cure cancer or something extraordinary like it.
[X] You believe that you learn something new every day.
[ ] You read a lot.
[X] The internet is a great source of information.
[ ] You always have perfect grammar. [Haha, not always.]
Total: 8.

Family
[ ] Your family is the most important thing in your life.
[ ] You come from a very large family.
[ ] You have at least 3 other siblings.
[ ] Your parents are still married.
[ ] The main goal in your life is to get married and have kids.
[ ] You want at least three children.
[ ] A mini van is your choice of automobile.
[ ] You don’t care about jobs; you want to stay home and take care of your family.
[ ] Your family has a lot of reunions.
[ ] You would die for anyone in your family.
Total: 0, haha.

Romance
[ ] You love to flirt.
[ ] You’re a mess without a boyfriend.
[ ] You have had at least 4 boyfriends this year.
[ ] You go on dates every Friday/Saturday night
[X] You love being held/kissed/being romantic.
[ ] You could never only be intimate with one person forever.
[ ] Looks/sex is the main thing you look for in a guy.
[ ] The best date is a candlelit dinner and a long walk on the beach.
[ ] You fall for someone very easily, but not for long.
Total: 1.

Popularity
[ ] You are very popular in your school.
[ ] It seems you are very easy to get along with.
[ ] You have at least 8 good friends.
[ ] You want to be famous someday from singing/acting/modeling/other
[ ] The best feeling is having everybody around you.
[ ] You’re a very friendly and outgoing person.
[ ] You talk to just about anyone you see or meet.
[ ] You are mainly the life of the party.
[ ] You are in a variety of different clubs/sports in your school.
[ ] No matter where you go, your best friend is always with you.
Total: 0.

Creativity
[X] You like to create new things.
[X] Many people call you very unique.
[X] You’ve been in a school play.
[X] Art is something you’ve always enjoyed.
[X] You are in the school band.
[X] Music = Life.
[X] You love taking pictures or videotaping. [Giving me a camcorder is a very dangerous thing to do. Ask my mom.]
[X] Crafts are always very fun.
[X] Your wardrobe is always very fun and colorful.
[X] You’d like to get a job that deals with art.
Total: 10.

Love
[X] True love really exists.
[X] So far, you’ve had a very successful love life.
[X] Forget dating at random, you want your soul mate
[ ] Once you find your true love, nothing will stand in the way.
[ ] You’ve only had one boyfriend, or none at all yet.
[ ] Your main goal in life is to get married to your loved one.
[X] Sex is something you hold very sacred, and should only be shared with your love.
[ ] The sweet, romantic boys are your type.
[ ] The best feeling is loving, and being loved back.
[X] You would die for the one you loved.
Total: 5.

Kindness
[ ] You enjoy helping people.
[ ] You’ve volunteered more than the required amount.
[ ] You would die if someone didn’t like you.
[X] You believe that everyone has good in them.
[X] You want to be the nicest person you can.
[ ] Everyone says it – You’re a sweetheart.
[ ] At Christmas, you enjoy giving presents more than receiving them.
[X] You regularly help people with their homework. [Technically it’s my job, haha.]
[X] You want world peace.
[ ] Little animals are the cutest things in the entire world.
Total: 4.

Adventure
[ ] Amusement parks are the best ever.
[X] Almost nothing scares you, and if it does, you deal with it anyways.
[ ] You love to try new things.
[ ] Bungee jumping has always been on your list of things to try.
[ ] You love all Xtreme sports.
[ ] Camping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] Your goal in life is to travel the world.
[ ] You love road trips.
[X] You’ve been to another country.
[ ] Other countries’ cultures really interest you.
Total: 2.

Beauty
[ ] You admit it – you’re gorgeous.
[ ] You would NEVER leave the house without your make-up on
[ ] You’re always getting new hairstyles and dying your hair.
[ ] Getting your nails done is your idea of a good time.
[ ] You would love to become a model.
[ ] You have the perfect body shape.
[ ] Your clothes are always more than perfect.
[ ] You spend the majority of your money on your looks.
[ ] Beauty is pain.
[ ] You’re always tanning, even in the winter.
Total: 0.

Survey Says…

I’m pretty sure I’ve used that title before. Here are two surveys.

SURVEY ONE!

1. Have you ever had a great conversation with a complete stranger?
I had a long conversation with a sign spinner when I lived down in Tucson. I was out walking and this dude was just killing it with the spinning. I told him it was impressive and then we just started talking for a while.
2. Where did you go on the very first vacation of your life?
It was probably either St. Louis or the Oregon coast. Probably St. Louis. My mom’s parents used to live there.
3. Open the door of your refrigerator. What is the first thing you see?
CHEEEEEEESE
4. What is your favorite place in your home?
My chair.
5. If you had wings to fly about the universe, where is the first place you’d land?
I know it’s pretty close to home, but I’d love to experience Jupiter’s storms. Assuming I won’t die, haha.

6. What is the first thing you do when you get in your car?
It’s been a long time since I’ve driven a car, but as a passenger, the first thing I usually do is plug in my iPod so that I can annoy the driver with my music.

7. What is special about the town you live in?
It was just voted the fifth most livable city in the world (and most livable city in North America). Also, river path.

9. If you had created the world in seven days yourself, what would you have created on the First Day?
Leibniz.

10. How do you beat the summer heat?
Get nekkid. Pass out in front of a fan. Complain about the heat.

11. Did you enjoy your Senior Year in high school?
Sure, it wasn’t bad. Hooligan time in the hallway at lunch with my friends, trying to convince my physics teacher that Aneel and I were dating, state drama, band + band friends + carpooling all the band friends home after school? Good times. I still wish I would have known what I wanted to do with my life back then, though. I definitely would have taken school more seriously.

12. Who is your favorite First Lady of all time?
That’s…a weird question. Michelle Obama is the one I’m most familiar with and someone who has tried to make a positive lasting impact, so I’ll go with her.

13. Post a link to your first blog post.
Here ya go: https://eigenblogger.com/2006/05/01/post1/
Warning: I was 18 and still in high school and still thought I was hot shit.

14. When was the last time you needed First Aid?
Like…serious “go to the doctor” first aid? 2011.

15. Can you explain what a first down is in football?
Nate has explained it to me many times. My mom has explained it to me many times. I have sat through dozens of U of I football games as a marching band nerd and heard “there’s another Vandal first down!” quite often. But no, I cannot explain what a first down is in football.

SURVEY TWO!

1. What is the nearest book to you?  Your Kindle does not count.
Technically it’s the multivariate “Calculus” textbook by Briggs and Cochran.

2. When was the last time you took a “me” vacation?
I guess my Thursdays count for this? On Thursdays I go walking and then just go home. No work. I blast music and sing.

3. How many telephone numbers do you have?
One, unless you count the phone in my office.

4.  If you could fix one thing in the public school system, what is the one thing you would do immediately?
MORE ARTS. Music, specifically.

5. Are you a big tipper?
I am. 20% – 25% in most cases.

6. Do you watch reality shows?
Does Top Chef count? If so, yes. My mom and I used to watch that Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team back when it was on CMT. Is that still a thing?

7. Who is your favorite sports team player?
I really like both Cabrera and McNeil, even though Cabrera is helping the Nationals out now.

8. When was the last time you sat in a church?
My grandma’s funeral on my dad’s side. But the last time I actually attended church for church’s sake was probably back when I was in junior high. Maybe earlier.

9.  Are there any aspects of blogging that annoy you?
There aren’t enough bloggers! I love reading peoples’ blogs, especially if they’re just random snippets of their day or their thoughts. We need more bloggers out there.

10. When someone follows you on their blog or subscribes to your Facebook page, do you automatically follow and subscribe back?
Haha, not usually.

A SURVEY FOR THE AGES

(Not really. Just a plain ol’ survey.)

Think of your last ten kisses, were they with the same person?
Yup.
Who was the last person you were under a blanket with?
Nate (and Jazzy).

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed?
Nope.
Who was the last person to call you?
My mom.

Have you ever kissed someone inside a vehicle?
Duh.

How are you feeling?
Like a failure. As always.

How does your hair look?
Absolutely terrible. As always.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian?
Sure. I don’t eat much meat, so it would be easy to give up.
What do you carry with you at all times?
My external hard drive and USB, which have backups of all my stuff. I’m super paranoid about losing all my stuff.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
My husband.

Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy?
Sure.

Any plans for summer?
Working. Panicking. Being sad. The usual.

Do you believe teenagers can fall in love?
Sure?
Will you be in a relationship next month?
Haha, hopefully.

Does sex mean love?
WHAT KIND OF DUMB–

What are you doing for your next birthday?
Nothing special, hopefully.

If your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you tonight, where would you go?
I don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend. I have upgraded to HUSBAND, yo.

What are you wearing on your feet?
Nothing.

Have you ever had feelings for someone who was seeing someone else?
Indeed.

What are your plans for tomorrow?
Work. Groceries. Baseball.

How old are your siblings, if you have any?
No sibbies.

Is your birthday in less than 6 months?
Nope.

Would you rather get stuck on an island with your ex or a python?
…what if my ex IS a python? DIDN’T THINK OF THAT, DID YOU

Do you get upset over the opposite sex easily?
I get upset over EVERYTHING easily.

Do you live closer to the desert or a body of water?
Water.

In school, are you one of those people who often get nominated for Homecoming courts, etc?
HAHAHAHAHAH no

KA-BLAM

A HEALTH SURVEY

What health problems do you have right now?
None, as far as I know. Unless you count the 2017 Leg Incident, which still hurts every once and a while. Or the migraines, but those are few and far between.

Are you in chronic pain?
Nope.

What do you take medications for?
NO MEDICINE
ONLY GRIT

What are some health issues you have had in the past?
I had appendicitis when I was 12. Migraines. A few concussions when I was younger, but I don’t know if a concussion is a “medical issue” more than it is an “injury.”

Do you have allergies?
Pineapple and Asthmacort. The weirdest thing about the pineapple allergy is that my dad never believed me when I told him I was allergic to it. Like…why would I lie about that? And why would he doubt me? It’s not a severe allergy by any means, but when I was in elementary school, I was pretty quick to make the connection between having pineapple at lunch and feeling my airway tighten. Not cool.

If so, what are you allergic to?
See above.

Have you ever been to an allergist?
Nope. I “diagnosed” the pineapple allergy on my own, and the asthmacort allergy came about when I had pleurisy. They gave me asthmacort to help improve my breathing. Turns out it does the opposite when you’re allergic to it.

Have you ever been to the ER?
Hahaha. Yes.

Have you ever been treated poorly in the ER?
Have…have you been to Gritman? Incompetence City. That ER I went to in Vancouver wasn’t bad, though.

Have you ever been told your symptoms were anxiety, when they weren’t?
I don’t think so?

What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
Appendicitis hurt pretty badly. I couldn’t stand up straight and it was Puke City. The migraines are pretty bad, too, if I don’t catch them in time.

How many surgeries have you had?
Uh…two?

What types of surgery have you had?
I had my appendix out at the end of 6th grade and my wisdom teeth out at the end of 12th grade.

Have you ever been treated poorly by a doctor?
Man, let’s not go into that, huh?

Have you ever had a doctor tried to kill you?
Probably not.

Is your primary care doctor a man or a woman?
I don’t have a primary care doctor. Doctors suck.

Have you had the same primary care doctor your whole life?
See above. And every primary care doctor I had as a kid/teenager sucked.

Are you happy with your current doctor?
Again, see above.

Have you ever seen a specialist for anything?
I saw an ENT who tested my hearing when I was younger. I have a weird thing with my left ear. He don’t work so good. I also saw an ENT (at the same place?) about my lack of smell, though no one really did anything about that ‘cause nobody gives a shit.

What is the most itchiest thing you have ever experienced?
My appendix scars (the biggest one, at least) still itch every once and a while. Though really dry legs itch like hell, too.

Have you ever had a severe itch, that you’d rate a 10?
Nah.

On a scale of 1-10, what’s the worst physical pain you’ve ever been in?
[insert femur ward joke here]
Uh…7? I dunno.

Have you ever passed out from pain?
Nope.

Have you ever thrown up from pain?
Almost.

Do you have any food intolerances? If so, to what?
I don’t think so.

Do you have any food sensitivities? If so, to what?
I don’t know if the pineapple thing is actually an allergy or a sensitivity. But I don’t have gluten sensitivity or anything like that.

What medications are you allergic to?
Asthmacort.

Do you have acne?
I get pimples every once and a while, but nothing too severe.

Do you take birth control pills?
Nope.

Are your hormones screwed up?
Ha, probably.

Do you have bad withdrawals from medications?
I don’t think I’ve ever had withdrawal issues.

What are some withdrawal symptoms you’ve had?
ZERO

What are some bad side effects of medications that you’ve had?
HAHAHAHA BITCH LEMME TELL YA
If there’s a side effect, I’ll get it. Let’s just put it that way.

Have you ever gained weight from a medication? If so, how much?
Remeron can go die.

Have you ever had to take Prednisone?
Nope.

How many hours a sleep do you need?
I can still swing three hours a night for a few nights if I need to.

How many hours a sleep do you get?
2-5, depending on the day.

Do you exercise enough?
I walk 15 miles a day, you tell me.

Do you eat healthy?
Not as healthy as I should.

Are you on a special diet for your health?
Nah.

Are you trying to lose weight or gain weight?
Whatever my weight is, I’ll still be ugly, so who cares.

Are you a healthy weight?
Last time I checked.

Are you happy with your weight?
Never.

Do you take showers or baths?
Showers.

How often do you shower or bathe?
Less often than I should, haha.

Do you take vitamins? If so, which ones?
Nope.

What bones have you broken?
None, surprisingly.

What’s the worst physical injury you’ve had?
The concussions. They both happened when I was pretty young; I fell off a slide after defying my parents and climbing on the outside of it rather than going down it the normal way. That was concussion 1. Concussion 2 happened while I was sledding. I was motoring down a hill and ran right into a frozen clod of dirt.

Do you have sensitive skin?
Nope.

What time of year do you usually get sick?
I get sick once every four years. Seriously. Time me.

What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had?
I was hitting 103 that time I had pleurisy in high school.

Have you ever had the flu?
…maybe? I actually don’t know.

Have you ever had bronchitis?
Nope.

Have you ever had an ear infection?
Nope. I was one of those kids who never got one.

Do you snore?
I’m not sure. Nate, do I snore?

What pain reliever do you use for cramps?
Ibuprofen. That’s the only thing that works.

Are you afraid of shots?
Nah.

Have you ever donated blood?
I tried once in high school, but the tech said I was “dangerously anemic” so I didn’t.

Do you do well with shots?
Sure. They’re fine.

What x-rays have you had?
I know I’ve had at least one. We were playing wombat in high school and John chucked the bat right at my shin. I didn’t have a fracture, but that’s what they were afraid of.

What do you keep on hand for emergencies?
My Bottle o’ Pills (Excedrine, Gravol, ibuprofen) and my Swiss army knife. In case I have to cut anything.

Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction?
Not super severe, but severe enough.

Have you ever used an epi pen?
Nope.

Have you ever been to the ER for a severe allergic reaction?
Nope.

What’s the worst burn you’ve ever had?
I scalded the hell out of my mouth with some hot tea once. I drank tea in Vancouver because it was warm and it was the only comforting thing I had. Once I had to go to this early morning seminar thing, so I put my tea in one of those insulated coffee mug things and brought it with me. Did you know that those insulated coffee mug things are designed to keep hot things hot for longer than they’d stay hot in an open cup? Apparently I didn’t know that. Took a big swig of it and couldn’t taste anything for like a week.

Do you get nosebleeds?
When it’s dry.

Do you get motion sickness?
Unfortunately, yes.

Do you have scars?
Lots.

Do you have a sweet tooth?
HAHA yes.

Do you ever crave chocolate?
Indeed.

Do you ever crave cheese?
Cheese is the best.

Do you drink enough water?
Probably not.

How old were you when you started your period?
13?

How old were you when you started going through puberty?
12?

At what time of day do you normally feel your best?
Like 2 AM. I’m weird.

Are you naturally optimistic or pessimistic?
Very pessimistic.

Are you naturally energetic?
Sometimes.

Does your mind wander a lot?
Absolutely.

Do you know your blood type?
O positive.

Have you ever been taken to the hospital against your will?
Nope.