I am sad and very discouraged by everything right now, so let’s take a break from the garbage for a moment and look at some funnies.
The early asdmovies were okay, but the more recent ones are more my style of humor. Particularly 11, 12, and 13.
TikToK is always a source of amusement.
I’m done. Sorry.
This is hysterical. Also very accurate based on my experiences taking upper level math courses. Though the only class I ever had that announced the grade breakdown of exams was my computer science class.
“This is Calculus 7. Today we’re going to be doing some mathematics.”
“It’s a conceptual move, not an algebraic one.”
As someone who’s been a TA and is now a prof, this is super relatable. I think I was closest to the “Needs to Give a ‘Short’ Lecture Every Lab” but every once and a while I was the “Basically, It’s Like.”
The “Never Comes Prepared” one is pretty great.
So hey, I found a Brian Regan routine on YouTube that I’ve never heard before!
Not as good as his old stuff, but still pretty good. That fireworks noise at 6:19 and when he messes up the horse racing joke at 33:13 had me really laughing like crazy.
Hahaha, I love this. What’s your paper title?
Mine is “Critiquing Silences as Performance.” That sounds like a real paper, actually.
“Claudia, why do you make dinner at 4 AM when no one is around?”
Because this is essentially how every evening cooking endeavor goes, including the despair, lack of cooking skills, and having something entirely different from what I set out to make.
Let HowToBasic help!
This is actually a pretty “normal” video for him.
Because I’m sure we could all use a laugh right now, here is a set of random crap I’ve found on the internet over the past few days that has made me laugh hysterically.
(I legit laughed for like 20 minutes over this stupid thing)
(This is an older one but every time I see it I laugh)
Hahaha, this is great.
It makes me miss my random Omegle conversations with strangers.
I feel like EIGHT LEVELS OF GARBAGE today because my brain is phenomenal at taking really good news and turning it into sadness.
So here’s some more zodiac sillies, ‘cause screw it all.
That Aquarius/Sagittarius one at 8:13 really got me laughing, haha. I was not expecting that at all.
So guess what video popped up in my “Recommended” list on YouTube?
God this gave me flashbacks of 2008 when all we did was quote Ebeeto’s videos. I remember Sean, Aaron, Lanky, and myself just randomly shouting “SOLID!” all the freaking time.
Here’s part 2 in case you need to see how it ends.
And the infamous Yogi Bear one.
So 2020 is already a flaming hot pile of GARBAGE and I hate it.
What a shock.
So because I feel like my entire life is not worth living anymore and because I have absolutely no motivation to exist, you’re getting a crappy blog post.
(As opposed to…?)
I enjoy “Zodiac signs as…” things, so we’re gonna do those today. ‘Cause I need something that will make me laugh or I’m going to go find the nearest bridge and go weeeeeeeee.
That’s all. Sorry for the awful blogs as of late; I really, really am burnt out.
I’m sure everyone knew about these but me, but I’m going to blog about them anyway.
A “Tom Swifty” originates from the Tom Swift series of books wherein the author pretty much did anything to avoid using the word “said” (e.g., “Let’s go,” he said). Instead, there was frequent use of adverbs or adverbials (words that act like adverbs to modify a verb or clause).
A true “Tom Swifty” is one of these words/phrases but with a pun incorporated. Some basic examples:
- “I decided to come back to the group,” Tom rejoined.
- “I love hot dogs,” said Tom with relish.
- “I’d like my money back, and some,” said Tom with interest.
These things are fantastic. Here are some of my favorites:
- “I’m losing my hair,” Tom bawled.
- “I dropped my toothpaste,” Tom said, crestfallen.
- “I have a BA in social work,” said Tom with a degree of concern.
- “It made the grass wet,” said Tom after due consideration.
- “I can’t believe I ate the whole pineapple!” Tom said dolefully.
- “That’s the last time I pet a lion,” Tom said offhandedly.
- “I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.
- “I shouldn’t sleep on railroad tracks,” Tom said, beside himself.
- “Let’s play a C, E, and G,” said Tom’s band, in accord.
- “The doctor had to remove my left ventricle,” said Tom half-heartedly.
- “I like ragged margins,” said Tom without justification.
- “I’d better repeat that SOS message,” said Tom remorsefully.
- “You call this a musical?” asked Les miserably.
I love it.
So Uncyclopedia is something I’d known about a while ago but had forgotten about until a random Reddit post that I came across today reminded me of it. A parody of Wikipedia, Uncylopedia basically mocks the hell out of everything through one form of humor or another. I think the first (and last?) time I mentioned it was when I was talking about some different Uncyclopedia articles for math-related things (including Newton).
So, of course, having been reminded of Uncyclopedia, I had to spend some time on it this afternoon (when I should have been either working or writing, let’s be honest).
On the “Alberta” page:
Calgary is most famous for the world famous Stampede where people gather to look at exhibits, go on rides, and wait in line to get trampled on by live-stock.
(regarding housing) The hastily constructed overpriced shacks also have the advantage that the majority of them are spaced 8 feet apart, so if your neighbour screws up your house is torched too. This recently happened in a major NW area in which 8 houses were toasted literally and firetrucks couldn’t get out there quick enough cause the snow was everywhere.
On the “Arizona” page:
Arizona is a 113,998 square mile sand dune located in the western United States.
Arizona has a constant and unwavering year-round temperature of 145 °F (336 degrees Kelvin), and an average of 0.0000000001 inches (2.54 × 10-15 kilometers) of yearly rainfall.
While modern science hypothesizes that at some time the entire planet was covered in water, no evidence exists suggesting Arizona has ever been below the sea level…Billions of years ago, as water on all sides came into contact with Arizona, it was slowly and methodically absorbed by the 50,000 foot high impenetrable wall of sand surrounding its entire perimeter.
On the “New York Mets” page:
The “Los Nuevo York Mets”, are inarguably one of the worst teams in Baseball.
They have won two championships, which is extraordinary, considering there have been about OVER 9000.
On the “Canada” page:
The world looks to Canada for international peace-keepers, since they possess no weapons other than snow shovels, and their jovial accent and flannel clothing are comforting.
The vast majority of Canuckistanians are actually invincible, impotent superheroes, invested with a variety of superpowers ranging from looking at TV or computer screens for entire weeks in winter to understanding the rules of hockey using telepathy and superhuman intelligence. For this reason, Canadians don’t need any form of government or even a military, since every single guy next door can either stop bullets in mid-air or cut through buildings using energy blast from their eyes, but usually they end up playing video games on their computers most of the time since no nation is crazy enough to attack such an intimidating and powerful county in Montana as Canada.
In 1952, the Canadian Air Force bioengineered all Canadians into developing resistance to the harsh winters. The technology involved beautiful fur growing out of their skin during the winter time, that really offers no thermal protection but is solely for repelling mosquitoes. This resulted in thousands of hunters from USA confusing Canadians for bears every winter, therefore explaining why Canada is so underpopulated.
To speak of Canada’s geography is to speak of the great swells of beaver that infest the land.
An early French remark aboot Canada dismisses it as “a few acres of snow”.
(Actually, the whole “Canada” article is fantastic.)
This randomly popped into my head while I was teaching this morning and it was all I could do to keep from laughing while lecturing.
Human determination at its finest.
The real bro is that tree limb, though.
So a few days ago I was listening to Brian Regan on Youtube, right? Because of that, I had a new recommended video today:
I clicked on it ‘cause I thought “what the hell” and definitely wasn’t expecting to find it as enjoyable as I did. Starts out a little slow, but definitely picks up. His restless leg syndrome bit and the whole road rage thing at the end is pretty great. Give him a try!
I’ve been watching a lot of clips of Whose Line Is It Anyway on YouTube lately. Here’s a set of three videos highlighting the times when the crew (mostly Drew) end up laughing uncontrollably (mostly because of Colin).
Wayne completely losing it in the background of some of these is great.
I’ve posted a decent amount of Brian Regan-related material on here already, but I was working on notes/practice problems in my office this afternoon and wanted something to listen to, so I listened to his “Live” recording.
Unfortunately there is no video of these routines, which sucks ‘cause a good portion of Brian’s humor his visual. But it’s still freaking hilarious. The “Stupid in School,” “Truck Drivers,” and “Crank Calls” routines are all fantastic, but they’re all good.
More Rage Quit. Sorry, I’m still super burnt out and this is all I’ve got right now bye.
“How many fuckin’ dogs ya got?”
Hahaha, how did I not know this happened?
That’s great. Blevins can act, yo.