Survatorium


That’s Latin for “oh god, when the hell is Claudia going to be done with this infernal 5,000 question survey?” (Answer: soon, young followers. Soon.)

3701. If you HAD to do your holiday shopping for EVERYONE in only ONE store what store would you pick?
The Dollar Store. Totally. Who doesn’t want glow sticks for a present? Communists, that’s who.

3702. What’s more annoying: the person in front of you driving ten miles under the speed limit on a regular day OR a person who cuts you off doing 10 miles over the speed limit on a stormy day?
Depends. Is it a 2+ lane road? If so, then the person speeding their butt off is more annoying. But if there’s only one lane and you can only pass like every 10 miles, then the person going slowly is obnoxious as hell.

3703. Define the word TIME without using the word time in the definition.
It’s a magazine!

3704. What old cartoons do you remember watching?
How old is old? I remember: Talespin, Eek!, 2 Stupid Dogs,  Johnny Bravo, Dexter’s Lab, Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy. Some of those are quite a bit older than others.

3705. Do you think that people care only about the people they know personally or do most people care about all people?
I think we do have an ability to care for all people, especially when we’re reminded of our own humanity when natural disasters strike.

Why do you think people feel that way?
As obnoxious, selfish, and egocentric as we all seem, we’re all human. We care about our species.

3706. Are you more like Bra,k Zorak, or Space ghost and why?
Oh god, flashbacks to watching Space Ghost Coast to Coast and being too young to understand what the hell was going on. So I’m not really sure.

3707. Would you rather see the movie first and then read the book or read the book and then see the movie?
I’d rather just read the book. Most movies ruin something or other that’s important.

3708. Do you own any audio books?
They’re not technically audio books…

What?
I own a 2 hour long recording of brown noise. I own Brian Regan’s LIVE! and a recording of his I Walked on the Moon. OH HOLY FREAKING CRAP I just realized now that I’ve got 500 GB of external hard drive, I can finally download The Great Gatsby as audio. I adore that book.

3709. Why are things the way they are?
Deterministic universe!

3710. Do you believe that guns don’t kill people and that people kill people?
Yes.

Why?
Because ascribing the ability to kill to inanimate objects that would NOT kill unless acted upon is stupid. For example, snow doesn’t kill people, but snow acted upon by forces causing mass amounts of it to barrel down a slope in an avalanche does (assuming there are people below it, of course).

3711. What is the best way you can think of to prevent murder?
Stop killing people. GENIUS!

3712. Why is it that in the USA thousands of people are murdered with a gun each year while in Canada only a handful of people are murdered with a gun each year?
Because the entire population of Canada is roughly equivalent to the population of California. I wonder if the gun murder rates would be closer if the populations were more similar.
Incidentally, have you ever been to Surrey? That’s where probably 90% of Canada’s gun murders occur.

Sure sounds like the USA is doing something wrong, but what?
MAKIN’ BABIES! Also Republicans.

3713. Is there a difference between really being yourself and just being automatic and acting on whims?
If you’re not yourself on “automatic pilot,” who are you?

3714. Have you ever strolled through a graveyard?
Yes.

In the dark?
Yes. My apartment was practically surrounded by graveyard in Vancouver. Canadian ghosts, eh?

3715. What is the difference between a good poem and a bad one?
I don’t like poetry.

3716. Who really cares about anything?
Me.

Do you?
I just told you!

Do you let it show, all the time?
That would be indecent.

3717. Do you live with passion?
Sometimes. Sometimes I have no will to live at all.

3718. Do you talk to squirrels?
I don’t like squirrels.

3719. Do you kick up leaves?
Fall is fun.

3720. Which do you need more: sugar, caffeine, alcohol, drugs, sex, sleep?
I don’t think any of these would help me out.

3721. What images do you get from the phrase ‘human subway’?
A flashback to a Craigslist personal I read in 2009 in which a guy was describing how much he hated women’s personal ads because they all listed qualities they were looking for in a dude as if they were building a man at Subway’s “create a man” station.

3722. Joe Strummer died. Are you sad?
Should I know who that is?

Do you have a fond memory of him to share?
Obviously not.

3723. If you are a guy are circumcised?
Not a dude.

If you are a girl which do you prefer circumcised or not?
Um…I don’t know.

3724. Does it bother you that in the USA you will be tracked based on what web sites you visit, what online purchases you make and your email will be read by the government?
It bothers me, but doesn’t surprise me. Worse things could be happening.

3725. Have you ever checked out the online personals?
Indeed. Scary things be on teh internets.

3726. What do you crave?
Excitement, awesome data, awesome data analyses, sugar.

3727. On a scale of 1-10 how tough are you?
Physically? 8.

3728. On a scale of 1-10 how tender are you?
3?

3729. On a scale of 1-10 how good are you?
8.

3730. On a scale of 1-10 how evil are you?
I hope a 1.

3731. What would make a cool coffee table book?
“1,001 Pictures of Naked Leibniz Doing Calculus”

3732. What’s the most interesting conversation piece in your home?
To me? My mega stats book of awesomeness. To others? Probably the TV. It’s big.

3733. If you could get on the mall loud speaker on christmas eve you would say, ‘Attention holiday shoppers:
“Why are you still shopping on Christmas Eve? Go home and ‘nog it up!”

3734. What are you on the outside of looking into?
Sanity.

3735. Are you more of a peculiar purple pie man or a sour grape?
Hahaha what?

3736. Who is someone you know should deserve more respect?
My mom.

3737. Does the end ever justify violence as a means?
I don’t know, really. I don’t think I could know from my experience.

3738. Care about everything, or care about nothing? Which would be worse?
Caring about nothing.

3739. Why do so many people on the internet pretend to be pregnant?
Um…I had no idea this was an issue.

3740. Have you ever been the diary Hicks or Brian (same guy, Hicks is the old diary, Brian is the current one)?
I’m assuming you’re wanting to actually ask if I’ve read it, not if I’ve been it. Either way, no.

3741. What was your new years like in (answer all that you can remember)
1970?
Not alive!

1980?
Still not alive!

1990?
Was alive for this one! But I was like two so I don’t remember.

1995?
I was like seven, so I don’t remember.

1998?
10 years old! I probably watched the ball drop on TV.

2000?
I wanted to be quirky so I watched the ball drop on TV while standing on my head.

2006?
Probably just watched the ball drop on TV. Again. I live an exciting and fulfilling life, I do.

3742. You know the Def Leopard song, ‘Love Bites’?
No.

Do they actually mean love bites as in it sucks, or lovebites as in hickies?
I don’t know, I’ve never heard it.

3743. All you want for Christmas is:
A new life.

3744. If you rearrange the letters in SANTA what words can you make?
“Satan,” of course. Do I get to make smaller words, too?

3745. Say anything:
“Anything.”
3746. Can you feel your life ending one minute at a time?
Unfortunately not.

3747. Is there something you don’t want to talk about?
Yes.

3749. Who would you stop the world and melt with?
A certain someone. You know who I mean.

3750. Is there anyone you wish you had never known?
Meh.

3751. Do you prefer to drive or be driven?
Depends on who’s driving.

massage or be massaged?
Massage.

pamper or be pampered?
Pamper.

go down or be gone down on?
Hahahahaha.

3752. What do you think of the sims?
Freaking love The Sims.

3753. How about the Sims Online?
Never played it.

3754. Professional or home pedicure and why?
I’ve never had a pedi. I’d go professional, though.

3755. Is there a difference between overweight and over fat?
Durh.

3756. What do you think of Rush Limbaugh?
Oh don’t get me started.

3757. Do you buy books and then never read them?
I try not to. Books rule.

3758. What does OPP stand for?
I don’t know, actually.

3759. If you had to be a character from married with children, what would you be?
I’ve never seen that show.

3760. What did you get for christmas?
A badass stats book, that’s what!

3761. What was your best ever valentine’s day?
2008. Actually, the day before was better, but whatev.

3762. What movie would you like to see again, that you haven’t watched since you were a kid?
I’d love to run through all the Disney classics again.

3763. Have you seen Fantastic Planet?
Indeed I have not.

3764. Do feet disgust you?
Not usually. They ARE pretty creepy, though, if you think about them.

3765. What pain releaver do you use?
MANLINESS. Or ibuprofen.

3766. Are you an artist, a designer or a doodler?
I’m a drawer. I’m in between a doodler and an artist. See pretty works here.

3767. Do you belong to a gym?
I’m a member of the Y.

3768. Have you ever been to court?
Only in a play.

Over what?
It was by Ayn Rand, though, so that hardly counts as anything.

Did you win?
I won the shame of being involved in something associated with Ayn Rand.

3769. Would you ever take a case on court TV (Judge Judy and such)??
Nope.

3770. You are given a million dollars, only you MUST spend it (or as much as possible) IN ONE MONTH. ANY LEFT OVER MONEY WILL GO AWAY. WHAT DO YOU BUY?
CAPS LOCK MAKES THIS SERIOUS! I’d give a great majority to my mom and close friends (does that count), I’d buy my own place + car, I’d buy a ticket to Antarctica, I’d buy a lifetime license to SAS, I’d buy as many awesome pieces of colorful clothing as possible.

3771. What are your pj’s like?
An orange shirt with the Kix cereal logo thingy on it. Panties.

3772. Is there a fabric you love above all other fabrics?
Does polyester count? Hahaha. I’m tacky.

3773. Can you think of any words (besides mom, dad and bob) that spell the same thing backwards and forwards?
Poop, kayak, this one news anchor’s last name down here, tenet, rotavator. Also, did you know that aibohphobia is the fear of palindromes? And did you know that palindromes are rasemordnilap?

3774. Who would enter an ugly foot contest????
Probably people with ugly feet.

3775. Would you rather see a movie with someone who screams during the movie, crys through the movie, or talks theough the movie? What’s the least annoying?
I would rather not go see a movie. HA!

3776. Do you have any grey hair?
On occasion. But I also have occasional red hairs as well.

3777. Are all the Jennifers you know psychotic?
Do I know any Jennifers?

3778. Do you want to join a country club?
No.

3779. ‘I felt a funeral in my brain’ – Emily Dickinson. What do you feel in your brain?
Disdain for you for making me read Emily Dickinson.

3780. What is the best atari game you can remember?
I wasn’t gaming back in the Atari era.

3781. Hulk Hogan, Alf or Mr T?
Mr. T!

3782. Did you dance today?
No.

3783. Are birds happy in cages?
Probably not.

Are pets happy indoors?
Depends on the pet. Some cats seem extremely content just chillin’ in the sun streaming through the glass door.

3784. Have you, or has anyone you know, ever been stuffed in a locker?
Yeah. We busted up the locker pretty badly, too.

3785. Critique this poem.
Last night death signed my yearbook
   Have a good summer
   he said
   see ya next year
   and then I realized it wasn’t my yearbook
   it was my tombstone
That’s deep, bro.

3786. Red or white wine?
Apple juice.

3787. Hula hoops or jump ropes?
Jump ropes.

3788. Do you like tiffany lights?
I don’t even know what those are.

3789. Do you like fights?
Not particularly.

3790. What do YOU want to pin the tail on?
That sounds…dirty.

3791. Wasn’t last night fun?
No. Go die.

3792. Have you ever met a group of more interesting people?
As compared to who?

3793. Would you eat Spaghetti with waffles to keep from offending someone?
That sounds insanely gross. Who is this person and why would avoiding spaghetti + waffles offend them so?

3794. Do you play with Mr Patatoe head?
Did Dan Quayle write this survey?

3795. Would you rather live in an attic or a basement?
Oh god, no more basements.

3796. Can you understand sign language?
Some. Not enough for conversation at all, though.

3797. Do you wear ridiculous hats?
No.

Does Elton John?
Probably.

3798. What music is wild and crazy?
This noise. Best workout song ever.

3799. How does one live their life like a candle in the wind?
By setting their hair on fire and standing in a wind tunnel.

3800. Ziggy and the Spiders or Benny and the Jets?
I’ve never hear either, actually.

What sayest thou? Speak!

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