Author Archive: Claudia


Hey, nerds.

So unfortunately for everyone involved, I am not dead. I am instead very much alive and have been pumping these daily blogs into a Word document that is approaching 300 pages.

I finally have a span of about a week where I can breathe before diving back into work, so I’ll be using that time to prep said Word document blogs and actually post them here, where they belong. As if anyone cares.

Anyway, that’s gonna take some time (there are like 650+ of them, no joke). But I figured I’d post today’s blog prior to all the other ones just to give my subscribers a bit of a warning that there will be a BLOG FLOOD in the next half month or so.

I’d actually recommend unsubscribing until, say, late May so that you don’t get bombarded with notifications.

Hell, unsubscribe permanently. I would.

I’m a failure.

But yeah, here’s the warning. I’d say unsubscribing and then coming back on…May 17th should be plenty of time.

Okay bye.



I really like this song.

I don’t know what it is with me lately, but I’ve been getting super emotional over music. This song? It’s not sad, it’s not depressing, it’s not particularly frisson-inducing. But I checked it out after hearing a YouTube ad for it and I’m freaking bawling over it.

(I blame the Sennheisers)

Also, the sound of this band + the lead singer’s voice really reminds me of Suede.

Tell me that’s not the same sound/voice.

Holy crap, I missed baseball.

The season just started like two weeks ago and it’s already pretty wild.

Also this:



(Also, poor Marlins)


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Canadian League Baseball: Week 1 Summary

My baseball simulation is super fun, so you’re going to get to here all about it every Sunday. Here are the current standings at the beginning of the season:


It’s still very early!

The April List, The April List, Holy Shit It’s the April List

Yo. Let’s do it.

  • My new favorite Met is Jeff McNeil. He’s good and he’s cool.
  • I am READY FOR THIS SEMESTER TO BE OVER. It’s been a lot of work, a lot of stress, and I’m about done with my semesterly quota of social interaction.
  • I think I just burned out another fraction of my hearing with these Sennheisers. DON’T CARE, WORTH IT
  • I don’t know how I don’t have tinnitus yet.
  • I want Moon Boots. The problem is that I’d probably never wear them, ‘cause it’s all Kinvaras all the time, regardless of how much snow is on the ground.
  • These also look super comfy, but $68. If I spend $6 for a shirt I feel like I’m overpaying. The only thing I willingly shell out dolla-dolla-bills for are my shoes. These pants would also probably be way too long on me.
  • Like…I’m sorry, but what did they expect? Did no one think about what would happen after there was a metric tons of balloons in the sky? Where would they go? Would the Stratosphere Clowns eat them?
  • (Stratosphere Clowns would be a good band name. The Stratosphere Clown Posse. “Fuckin’ ozone, how does it work?”)

I’m done.


Ooooh, I like it.

Like many of The Killers’ songs, this is one that gives that nice painful tug on your heart with its yearning tone. The orchestra makes it so much better.

I’m also a sucker for orchestral covers of anything, so.



What health problems do you have right now?
None, as far as I know. Unless you count the 2017 Leg Incident, which still hurts every once and a while. Or the migraines, but those are few and far between.

Are you in chronic pain?

What do you take medications for?

What are some health issues you have had in the past?
I had appendicitis when I was 12. Migraines. A few concussions when I was younger, but I don’t know if a concussion is a “medical issue” more than it is an “injury.”

Do you have allergies?
Pineapple and Asthmacort. The weirdest thing about the pineapple allergy is that my dad never believed me when I told him I was allergic to it. Like…why would I lie about that? And why would he doubt me? It’s not a severe allergy by any means, but when I was in elementary school, I was pretty quick to make the connection between having pineapple at lunch and feeling my airway tighten. Not cool.

If so, what are you allergic to?
See above.

Have you ever been to an allergist?
Nope. I “diagnosed” the pineapple allergy on my own, and the asthmacort allergy came about when I had pleurisy. They gave me asthmacort to help improve my breathing. Turns out it does the opposite when you’re allergic to it.

Have you ever been to the ER?
Hahaha. Yes.

Have you ever been treated poorly in the ER?
Have…have you been to Gritman? Incompetence City. That ER I went to in Vancouver wasn’t bad, though.

Have you ever been told your symptoms were anxiety, when they weren’t?
I don’t think so?

What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced?
Appendicitis hurt pretty badly. I couldn’t stand up straight and it was Puke City. The migraines are pretty bad, too, if I don’t catch them in time.

How many surgeries have you had?

What types of surgery have you had?
I had my appendix out at the end of 6th grade and my wisdom teeth out at the end of 12th grade.

Have you ever been treated poorly by a doctor?
Man, let’s not go into that, huh?

Have you ever had a doctor tried to kill you?
Probably not.

Is your primary care doctor a man or a woman?
I don’t have a primary care doctor. Doctors suck.

Have you had the same primary care doctor your whole life?
See above. And every primary care doctor I had as a kid/teenager sucked.

Are you happy with your current doctor?
Again, see above.

Have you ever seen a specialist for anything?
I saw an ENT who tested my hearing when I was younger. I have a weird thing with my left ear. He don’t work so good. I also saw an ENT (at the same place?) about my lack of smell, though no one really did anything about that ‘cause nobody gives a shit.

What is the most itchiest thing you have ever experienced?
My appendix scars (the biggest one, at least) still itch every once and a while. Though really dry legs itch like hell, too.

Have you ever had a severe itch, that you’d rate a 10?

On a scale of 1-10, what’s the worst physical pain you’ve ever been in?
[insert femur ward joke here]
Uh…7? I dunno.

Have you ever passed out from pain?

Have you ever thrown up from pain?

Do you have any food intolerances? If so, to what?
I don’t think so.

Do you have any food sensitivities? If so, to what?
I don’t know if the pineapple thing is actually an allergy or a sensitivity. But I don’t have gluten sensitivity or anything like that.

What medications are you allergic to?

Do you have acne?
I get pimples every once and a while, but nothing too severe.

Do you take birth control pills?

Are your hormones screwed up?
Ha, probably.

Do you have bad withdrawals from medications?
I don’t think I’ve ever had withdrawal issues.

What are some withdrawal symptoms you’ve had?

What are some bad side effects of medications that you’ve had?
If there’s a side effect, I’ll get it. Let’s just put it that way.

Have you ever gained weight from a medication? If so, how much?
Remeron can go die.

Have you ever had to take Prednisone?

How many hours a sleep do you need?
I can still swing three hours a night for a few nights if I need to.

How many hours a sleep do you get?
2-5, depending on the day.

Do you exercise enough?
I walk 15 miles a day, you tell me.

Do you eat healthy?
Not as healthy as I should.

Are you on a special diet for your health?

Are you trying to lose weight or gain weight?
Whatever my weight is, I’ll still be ugly, so who cares.

Are you a healthy weight?
Last time I checked.

Are you happy with your weight?

Do you take showers or baths?

How often do you shower or bathe?
Less often than I should, haha.

Do you take vitamins? If so, which ones?

What bones have you broken?
None, surprisingly.

What’s the worst physical injury you’ve had?
The concussions. They both happened when I was pretty young; I fell off a slide after defying my parents and climbing on the outside of it rather than going down it the normal way. That was concussion 1. Concussion 2 happened while I was sledding. I was motoring down a hill and ran right into a frozen clod of dirt.

Do you have sensitive skin?

What time of year do you usually get sick?
I get sick once every four years. Seriously. Time me.

What’s the highest fever you’ve ever had?
I was hitting 103 that time I had pleurisy in high school.

Have you ever had the flu?
…maybe? I actually don’t know.

Have you ever had bronchitis?

Have you ever had an ear infection?
Nope. I was one of those kids who never got one.

Do you snore?
I’m not sure. Nate, do I snore?

What pain reliever do you use for cramps?
Ibuprofen. That’s the only thing that works.

Are you afraid of shots?

Have you ever donated blood?
I tried once in high school, but the tech said I was “dangerously anemic” so I didn’t.

Do you do well with shots?
Sure. They’re fine.

What x-rays have you had?
I know I’ve had at least one. We were playing wombat in high school and John chucked the bat right at my shin. I didn’t have a fracture, but that’s what they were afraid of.

What do you keep on hand for emergencies?
My Bottle o’ Pills (Excedrine, Gravol, ibuprofen) and my Swiss army knife. In case I have to cut anything.

Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction?
Not super severe, but severe enough.

Have you ever used an epi pen?

Have you ever been to the ER for a severe allergic reaction?

What’s the worst burn you’ve ever had?
I scalded the hell out of my mouth with some hot tea once. I drank tea in Vancouver because it was warm and it was the only comforting thing I had. Once I had to go to this early morning seminar thing, so I put my tea in one of those insulated coffee mug things and brought it with me. Did you know that those insulated coffee mug things are designed to keep hot things hot for longer than they’d stay hot in an open cup? Apparently I didn’t know that. Took a big swig of it and couldn’t taste anything for like a week.

Do you get nosebleeds?
When it’s dry.

Do you get motion sickness?
Unfortunately, yes.

Do you have scars?

Do you have a sweet tooth?
HAHA yes.

Do you ever crave chocolate?

Do you ever crave cheese?
Cheese is the best.

Do you drink enough water?
Probably not.

How old were you when you started your period?

How old were you when you started going through puberty?

At what time of day do you normally feel your best?
Like 2 AM. I’m weird.

Are you naturally optimistic or pessimistic?
Very pessimistic.

Are you naturally energetic?

Does your mind wander a lot?

Do you know your blood type?
O positive.

Have you ever been taken to the hospital against your will?

Protected: Ouch: The Redux

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That didn’t take long.

Protected: Ouch

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I love this guy’s video simulations of space stuff.

I also love the disclaimer “Saturns rotation is extra impossible, but I had to prevent the rings from colliding.”

Don’t we all, yeti dynamics? Don’t we all?

I Love Calgary

I really do. It’s a big enough city that you can get that big metro feel in certain parts of it, but it’s so spread out that there are a lot of places you can go and not feel like you’re in a big city at all.

And the river path. Holy gods, I love that river path. Miles and miles of uninterrupted walking with no threat of murderous cars? Give it here.

I love the weather, too, even though this past February made me want to throw myself into the sun (because at least then I’d be warm). I much prefer the temperature swings of Calgary (hot “near-90s” summers to cold “WHY ARE MY INSIDES FROZEN” winters) to the dreary rain of Vancouver.

I mean, I loved Vancouver too, but for totally different reasons and not with the same depth that I truly love Calgary.

(And I hated the rain. Ugh.)


Math midterms that go from 6:00 – 7:30 and are followed by two and a half hours of grading? Not my favorite way to spend Friday.

BUT HEY, I got home and made a logo for the Canadian Baseball League.


Super creative, right?

I figured a dude threatening to bludgeon a maple leaf with a bat was pretty Canadian.

(MLB, please don’t sue me, I’m just screwing around.)



It’s also the start of my season-long simulation of my fake baseball league, the Canadian Baseball League (CBL)!

So here’s what’s the what: I made up a total of 30* fake teams, put them into leagues and divisions, then had Out of the Park Baseball draft all the current** players and get them on the teams.

So without further ado, here are said teams, divisions, and leagues. I have two leagues that are called the Canadian League (as opposed to the American League) and the National League. Just like real MLB, there are three divisions within each league.

Canadian League


  • Halifax: The Halifax Dreadhawks
  • Newfoundland: The Newfoundland Hounds
  • Ottawa: The Ottawa Mounties
  • Quebec: The Quebec Rebels
  • Saint John: The Saint John Saints


  • Hamilton: The Hamilton Steelers
  • London: The London Chaps
  • Saskatchewan: The Saskatchewan Winds
  • Toronto: The Toronto Blue Jays
  • Winnipeg: The Winnepeg Warriors


  • Anchorage: The Anchorage Timberwolves
  • Calgary: The Calgary Cowboys
  • Edmonton: The Edmonton Oil Barons
  • Victoria: The Victoria Royals
  • Yukon: The Yukon Gold

National League


  • Fredericton: The Fredericton Fighters
  • Montreal: The Montreal Expos
  • Nova Scotia: The Nova Scotia Mariners
  • Nunavut: The Nunavut Miners
  • Prince Edward Island: The Prince Edward Islanders


  • Manitoba: The Manitoba Lakers
  • Ontario: The Ontario Horseshoes
  • Regina: The Regina Giants
  • Thunder Bay: The Thunder Bay Lightning
  • Windsor: The Windsor Welders


  • Alberta: The Alberta Bulls
  • British Columbia: The BC Bears
  • Saskatoon: The Saskatoon Sabers
  • Vancouver: The Vancouver Blues
  • Yellowknife: The Yellowknife Blizzards

I plan on simulating each day of the 2017 season in sync with this year’s actual MLB season. I’ll keep y’all updated on the standings weekly (though I’m sure none of you will actually care) and let you know if there are any simulated versions of current players doing any cool simulated things.

*I kept the Blue Jays and re-added the Expos, so I guess it’s only 28 fake teams, but whatev.
**Well, okay, I have OOTP 18, so my players are the 2017 versions of themselves.


More Fake Baseball, Sorry

Alright, nerds, here is the finalized list of my fake baseball teams for my fake Canadian League Baseball simulation that I’ll start tomorrow. I tried to make most of the names relevant to the city/province/territory, but some of them are just “I couldn’t think of anything else so here’s some alliteration to make things sound good.”

Edit: I LIED, I’d forgotten to give Saint John a name. So I called them the Saints. Fight me.

  • Alberta: The Alberta Bulls
  • Anchorage: The Anchorage Timberwolves
  • British Columbia: The BC Bears
  • Calgary: The Calgary Cowboys
  • Edmonton: The Edmonton Oil Barons
  • Fredericton: The Fredericton Fighters
  • London: The London Chaps
  • Halifax: The Halifax Dreadhawks
  • Hamilton: The Hamilton Steelers
  • Manitoba: The Manitoba Lakers
  • Montreal: The Montreal Expos
  • Newfoundland: The Newfoundland Hounds
  • Nova Scotia: The Nova Scotia Mariners
  • Nunavut: The Nunavut Miners
  • Ontario: The Ontario Horseshoes
  • Ottawa: The Ottawa Monarchs
  • Prince Edward Island: The Prince Edward Islanders
  • Quebec: The Quebec Rebels
  • Regina: The Regina Giants
  • Saint John: The Saint John Saints
  • Saskatchewan: The Saskatchewan Tornadoes
  • Saskatoon: The Saskatoon Sabers
  • Thunder Bay: The Thunder Bay Lightning
  • Toronto: The Toronto Blue Jays
  • Vancouver: The Vancouver Blues
  • Victoria: The Victoria Royals
  • Windsor: The Windsor Welders
  • Winnipeg: The Winnepeg Warriors
  • Yellowknife: The Yellowknife Blizzards
  • Yukon: The Yukon Gold

Tune in tomorrow for the official intro to this project!


Man, this song came out in 2011 and I’m just finding it now? How did this fail to show up on my radar, especially during the majority of my Decade of Music project?

I’ve had it stuck in my head for like half a week.


Man, I am ready for this semester to be over.

Making brand new sets of notes* as the semester goes is a lot of work. The last time I was making brand new notes without any prior material of my own was when I first taught STAT 217 in Winter 2017; the last time I was making brand new notes for a subject I’d never even taught before was when I first started working at UI in 2012.

So it’s been a while.

And I forgot how much freaking work it was.

*And lab material, and additional practice problems, and practice midterm keys, and midterms, and a final.


Sure, why not.


I’s Thales. Cool with that.