This is a very interesting analysis of how and why The Simpsons, which actually died somewhere around season 9 or 10, is still so relevant to us through the way we’ve memed the hell out of it.
(Steamed Hams discussion starts at 8:06.)
Seriously, if you enjoy the way the internet seems to just latch on to certain things and make them into Things™, you’ll like this.
I was unaware that this was a thing.
I’m cool with it being a thing.
(Sorry, I’m really busy and frustrated and stressed, so the blog shall suffer as it does in these times.)
So I’ve been having a really shitty time as of late, but this video brought me much joy. What’s better than one meme? An older meme. What’s better than an older meme? A new meme and an older meme mashed together in glory.
(Sorry, I’m boring.)
I love the internet. I love when the internet takes a thing and makes a meme out of it.
Example: the “steamed hams” scene from an old episode of The Simpsons (“22 Short Films about Springfield,” 1996). Observe the original clip:
“Steamed Hams but There’s a Different Animator Every 13 Seconds”
“Steamed Hams but Chalmers is Obsessively Investigative”
And this freaking masterpiece of the internet, “Steamed Hams Inc.” Seriously, it’s so good. Watch it. It will change your life. I love the creativity of humans.
Haha, oh my god.
Just…just give it a few minutes.
Okay, first of all, I had no idea “electric-country-pop” was a genre the human race was capable of.
Second of all, even the first set of screams sound legit; it’s only that one at 2:38 that makes me unable to take this seriously. Or makes me take this too seriously, one of the two.
Edit 1: I WOKE UP WITH THIS STUCK IN MY HEAD WHY
Nothing is better at 7:45 AM than “AAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAEAAAAAAAAA!” It represents how I feel at that time of the morning, at least.
Edit 2: Wow.
I have a couple Tumblr blogs that I “follow” (read: stalk but don’t actually follow Tumblr-style) and one of them has been consistently commenting “WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOSE” on every…I don’t know, 10th thing they post. It took me a little bit to figure out where this was coming from, but I found it: Vine, of course!
Here’s a compilation of “WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOSE” edits, with the original vine being the first video in the set.
It’s probably an annoying to most people but I just find it hysterical for some reason.
Edit: Hahahahaha, oh my god, this is the greatest.
And then I found this.
Better than Lethargic Bieber? You decide!
I also went digging through all my old saved files and found all my angsty poetry latherings of yore. They’re hilarious.
I am dark.
I am a spark.
I am the turn.
I am the burn.
I am the fork in the road.
I am the wind’s sorry ode.
I am hell in a shrouded form.
I am the thing that howls in the morn.
I am philosophy.
I am prophecy.
I am tomorrow.
I am today.
I am sorrow.
I am Gray.
SO DEEP, MAN. I also just realized I haven’t written a poem since “Seuss on the Loose.” That’s probably a good thing.
Happy birthday, mom! Sorry I kind of turned today into a Let’s All Get Depressed party tonight. Unfortunately, that’s the only thing I’m good at sometimes.
However, this shall possibly cheer you up: my new favorite meme.
It’s like Lame Pun Coon, but even lamer. And punnier. And therefore it’s awesome. I’d pick a favorite but I giggle like an idiot through each page, so I don’t think I can.
Internet, I love you.
In other news, this has pretty much been my life for the past few months. It blows.
I just discovered the meme in which people (poorly) Photoshop human arms onto birds. The more you know.
Oh, internet. Where would we be without you?
I’m working on redoing an old Flash, but I’m lazy so it didn’t get done today. So…handwriting analysis! I love these things. Properties I think to be true are in bold.
Claudia uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.
The circumstances when Claudia does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.
Claudia will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying “I love you” is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.
Claudia is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask “Is this best for me?”
Claudia tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person’s letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Claudia writes tiny all of the time, she will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Claudia will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. she might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When she is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and her ability to focus is incredible. When she says “she didn’t hear you”, she really means, she didn’t hear you.
Claudia will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Claudia believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.
Claudia will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don’t really want her opinion, don’t ask for it!
In reference to Claudia’s mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Claudia slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Claudia can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Claudia is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. She finds joy in anticipation and planning [if I could bold this even more, I would]. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn’t necessarily mean things go as planned. Claudia basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality– not too “out of reach”. She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence category, her self-perception is better than average.
Claudia is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
Claudia has difficulty trusting anyone. In fact, she trusts no one completely. This is a result of her trust being betrayed in the past. She has closed up, thus ceasing to allow close friendships. Claudia truly wants close friends and desires physical relationships, but she fears she will get hurt, again. She is lonely, yet has a crying need for close friends. This trait can cause much unhappiness. However, it can be changed.
Claudia has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
30-Day Meme – Day 30: Share what you have learned, if anything, about yourself in the last 30 days.
I learned that I liked memes that I can do all at once. But that’s about it, haha.
Job interview in a week and a half!
That was fast.
In other news, I found out that the UI is looking for a lecturer for STAT 150 and that I’m totally qualified. Given what’s currently going on with me right now, I don’t know if I could handle a semester of lecturing (or if I’d even be good at it, who knows?), but I’m super tempted to apply and see what happens. Wouldn’t that be awesome if I got the job, though?
In other other news, all my material possessions are set to arrive anytime between next Monday and the 8th of November. I propose that our little gang gets together for some sort of Rock Band + pizza + sexiness – clothes party at some point. Especially since I wasn’t able to catch you guys over the summer. Who’s with me?
30-Day Meme – Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days.
1. Figure out what’s going on with my brain and get it under
2. Develop coping skills that do not center around self-destruction.
3. Acquire money.
4. Take more classes! You know I can’t stay away.
5. Try not to die.
6. A bunch of other stuff that is contingent on point #1 (and #2, I suppose).
So I was doing my usual surfing the internets via StumbleUpon and came across an R-Bloggers post about using R to determine the primality of any given number. The code for doing so is somewhat long and I’d like to take more time to study it and see if I could come up with my own code for determining primality, but today I was too excited to do so and instead wanted to focus on actually using the code instead.
Perhaps those readers who dig math have heard of the Ulam spiral, a method of visualizing the prime numbers in relation to the non-primes (I’m having flashback’s to NaNoWriMo 2009’s topic and therefore keep having to backspace to not capitalize “prime” and “non-prime,” haha). Developed by Stanislaw Ulam in 1963, the spiral shows a pattern indicating that certain quadratic polynomials tend to generate prime numbers. Check out the Wiki, it’s a super fascinating thing.
Anyway, ever since I’d heard of the Ulam spiral, I’ve always thought of other possible patterns or trends that may exist with respect to the primes. Could other possible patterns arise if we just “arrange” numbers in other ways? Ulam used a spiral. What other “shapes” might produce patterns?
Thus begins Part I of my mission to make pretty number patterns and see what happens! (Though I must admit that Part I is rather boring, as it just consists of me using the code on R-Bloggers).
Anyway, let’s organize this noise:
Part I: write a new function that applies R-Bloggers IsPrime() function to any given vector of numbers, say one that contains the numbers 1 through 100 (just as a start, obviously, we can extend this to much larger vectors because math rules and R is like a mental sex toy). Make sure this new function is able to output a binary response—a 0 for any non-prime and a 1 for any prime. This will allow for easy visualization once we get to that point.
Part II: Brainstorm possible pattern ideas for numbers. Figure out how in the hell to program R to output a number spiral, among other fun shapes. Use excel cells as a means by which to make the actual visualizations.
Part III: Try not to lose sanity while attempting to bend R’s base graphics to your will in order to plot said patterns without having to resort to Excel.
Part IV: Now that the work is done, actually take a step back and see if anything came of these fun experiments.
Part V: RED BULL!
Today was Part I, so I really don’t have anything special to show you guys. But next time will be fun, I promise!
30-Day Meme – Day 28: Say something to your 15 year old self.
Dear 15-Year-Old Claudia: your high school math teacher will be a jackass, but for the love of god, TAKE ALL THE MATH YOU CAN. You’ll love yourself later for it. Don’t be like the stupid 23-year-old version of yourself who quit after Algebra II (a class she totally rocked with a C-!). Tough it out, suffer through algebra, make it through trig, and ROCK OUT CALCULUS, YOU CAN SO TOTALLY DO CALCULUS. Then take all the math you can in college. You may not see it now (in fact you don’t, you see yourself right now as an artist with no need for college…this view won’t change until you’re like 19, by the way), but math and statistics are in your future. Remember back in elementary school when it was just you and two other super nerdy guys crammed in the janitor’s closet for the “advanced math” section? Remember that? Yeah, you know you can rock math. You just need to do it, yo. PRESS ON, WAYWARD HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN! You may feel directionless now, but that will so totally change.
See you in a few years!
Haha, totally just remembered that that’s happening in like five days.
Commence pulling last-minute plot out of ass!
In the meantime THREE THINGS!
1. Adventure Time is still the greatest show on Cartoon Network and Lumpy Space Princess is freaking awesome.
I still think the art/feel of this cartoon is very similar to that of Tom Deslongchamp.
2. I’ve posted this before, but I’m linking to it again ‘cause it rules and I just rediscovered it.
3. Haha, stats jokes.
30-Day Meme – Day 27: The last thing that made you cry.
Uncertainty. I don’t like things being “up in the air” like they currently are. I don’t know how long I’ll be in Moscow, I don’t know what’s going on with the rest of my educational career (‘cause it’s most certainly not over, screw that), and most of all, I don’t know what’s going on with my head. Hopefully things will start making some sense in the coming weeks. It also doesn’t help that I’ve literally only got a suitcase’s worth of stuff here at my dad’s and the rest of my things are making their way across the continent, current location unknown. If my stats books and notes get lost, someone’s gettin’ stabbed.
2401. Does love come from the brain, the heart or elsewhere?
2402. Have you ever given a shot?
If not, do you think you could give one to a loved one if you HAD to?
Why is the scene from Pulp Fiction the only thing popping into my mind right now?
Do you think you could give one to yourself?
2403. Can you lick your elbow?
Come on, didja try?
2404. If i was going to be talking to you for 10 minutes, what would be something really interesting you know a little bit about but would like to know more??
2405. If today was a holiday, what would it be?
October Day? Haha, I dunno.
2406. If you were making a mix tape what would you HAVE to have on it?
Probably music. OH I’M FUNNY!
2407. What do you think of the Sopranos?
I never saw it.
2408. Can you name three good things about the society you live in?
We can freely criticize the government/the President/politicians, we live in an affluent enough society to afford the necessities, and it seems like there’s a growing support system for the GLBT community.
How about three bad things?
The whole “beautiful iff skinny” bullshit, the polarization of political ideas (at least at the level of elected officials), and the fact that there exists discrimination. I know we probably won’t ever extinguish discrimination entirely, but it still bothers me.
2409. Have you ever had a crush on your teacher?
How about your boss?
2410. What is the differance between acting like someone in high school and acting like an adult?
Not much, I’m learning.
2411. What is the differance between a whopper and a whopper jr?
Size, I’m assuming. I’m not well-versed in Burger King burgerology (side note: burgerology would be an AWESOME field of study).
2413. Do you like:
Run DMC? Don’t know them well enough to say.
The Cure? Yup.
Shakira? She’s a good singer.
the Pet Shop Boys? Never heard them.
Weezer? Weezer rules.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers? Not really.
Nick cave? Never heard him.
The Pixies? I like Where Is My Mind?, but that’s it.
KRS-One? Never heard them.
The Juice Crew? See above.
2414. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D?
No. And what’s up with that all of a sudden? If you want 3D go outside and have an adventure with your friends.
2415. How difficult do you think it is for immigrants to come into your country?
Depends on the border we’re focusing on.
How difficult is it for them to become citizens?
I’m not sure, I don’t know much about the process.
2416. Do you have what it takes to go live in another country, maybe for years, where you don’t speak the language as your first language?
Currently, I’d be screwed ‘cause I know absolutely NO other language apart from English.
2418. have you ever died in your dreams?
I don’t think so.
2419. Do you like
Douglas Adams? Never read him, believe it or not.
Kurt Vonnegut? He’s okay.
Tom Robbins? Never read.
Philip K Dick? Never read.
Orson Scott Card? Sounds familiar…
2420. What clothing size are you?
For shirts? Small. I’m short + stubby. For pants? The last pants I tried on were size 0, but I also have a size 8 pair of pants in my closet. I have to use a binder clip to hold them up though, haha. Most of my pants don’t have a size in them.
What size do you wish you were?
Did you know that Marilyn Monroe was a size 12(and lotsa people think she’s HOT)?
She IS hot. And yes, I knew that.
2421. Does science leave room for faith?
Sure, why not?
Does faith leave room for science?
It should. Why would a deity allow for the development of science if it led people down the wrong path?
2422. What book should our political leaders read and why?
Political and Social Responsiblity for Dummies.
2423. Why and under what circumstances are people more likely to buy brand names ragher then thier generic counterparts?
If they have brand familiarity. Or if money is not of great concern.
2424. What is your favorite glass object?
I don’t think I have one.
2425. Do you like to window shop?
Sure. If “window shopping” can include fondling merchandise.
2426. Have you ever loved someone so much it just turned to hate?
2427. What is arrogance?
2428. Are you more liberal or conservative?
2429. When there is a presidential election in the USA why do we never hear anything about the third party candidtes? Do you even know who they were last time?
Because the US political system is screwy.
2430. Are you more likely to buy one really nice expensive outfit or a couple of cheap outfits?
Cheap, yo. Cheap clothes are usually more awesome, anyway.
2431. If you could, would you wear everything once, throw it out and buy something new?
HELL NO! Do you know how long it’s taken me to accrue such a rainbow of clothes? I’m still wearing stuff I wore in junior high.
2432. Do you believe that people have a responsiblity to be:
good to other people? Yes.
good at their job? They have a responsibility to find a job that they CAN be good at.
helpful to the earth(not litter, recycle)? Yes.
aware consumers(not buy animal tested products, not buy products that were made in sweatshops, etc)? Yes, if possible.
non-wasteful (not spend their money frivolously when they could save it to help others)? Not really. It would be a good thing to aspire to, but I don’t think it’s a responsibility.
charitable (donatine money, volunteering)? See above.
Which of the above are you?
I try to be all of the above, but I fail pretty severely at being an aware consumer and donating/volunteering.
2433. How do you feel about the internet?
IT IS MY RELIGION; IN THE BEGINNING AL GORE CREATED HTTP://
Should there be laws and censorship on the internet?
Only to an extent.
2434. Can you think of any questions that aren’t already on this survey?
2435. Does sleep seem like a little death to you?
Nope. Brain = still active.
2436. Have you ever seen(and if yes, what did you think of):
Joy Ride? No.
Ghost World? No.
Monsters Inc? Pixar rules!
Queen of the Damned? No.
Office Space? No.
2437. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn’t real?
I can’t remember.
2438. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?:
My shoes are currently in transit across the continent.
Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?:
I usually wear the same shoes every day.
2439. How many lovers have you had?
2440. Have you ever had surgery? For what?
2441. What puts you in the mood for sex?
2442. Have you ever been on alcohol or drugs while at school or work?
Prescription drugs, yes.
2443. What do you think of Martha Stewart?
2445. What do you think of:
British people? Love the accent.
Australians? I don’t know any Australians.
Americans? Yay America!
Canadians? My Canadian friends are awesome.
Mexicans? I have no issues with them.
French people? They remind me of Quebec.
Germans? I’m German!
2446. What do you do to cure the hiccups?
Just let them run their course.
2447. What is the FIRST thing you do when you come home from school or work?
Pee. Hey, you asked.
2448. Are you a slob?
I try not to be, but when I’m stressed there are no limits to the amount of my stuff I can displace in my room.
2449. Do you have a good work ethic?
2450. Are you a pack-rat?
2451. Do you roll your eyes alot?
2452. Do you prefer b-sides or remixes?
2453. What makes the world go ’round?
2454. Is Blink182 punk or pop?
I have them as pop, but what do I know?
2455. Do you remember Fat Albert?
Hey, hey, hey!
2456. Do you take things slowly, as they come?
I go after what I want.
2457. Are you laid back or tense?
2458. Are you insecure?
2459. Imagine you aare working in a soup kitchen. You are supposed to give each person on the line a half a cup of soup. When hungry people come up to you do you just end up emptying the cabinets for them?
I would make sure I had enough for everyone. If that meant each person could get more than a half cup of soup, so be it.
2460. Why can’t we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can’t we all just get along?
2461. What bands do you want to see live that you have never seen?
MUSE AND LADY GAGA WHY DID I PASS THESE UP CURSES CURSES CURSES.
2462. Do you like raunchy songs (like that lick ny neck, lick my back, lick my pussy, lick my crack song)?
I love The Bad Touch.
2463. Do you think that the Beatles are still the Beatles without John Lennon?
Would you want to see the Sex Pistols without Sid Vicious?
Did you think that the members of Nirvana were smart to reform as the Foo Fighters instead of trying to stay Nirvana after Kurt’s death?
2464. Do you like the band Squeeze?
Never heard them.
2465. When you are angry or upset do you know you’re being irrational but you can’t really stop?
2466. Is there room in your life for one more trip to the moon?
Ooh, can I go?
2467. Where are they now:
Your first best friend in elementary school? Married + kid, but I don’t know where.
your first crush? In Chicago.
your first boy/girlfriend? Still around here.
your first love? See above.
your first lover? God, who knows.
2468. Do you have a lot of self pity?
I try not to.
2469. have you ever had something really good come out of something really bad that happened to you?
Does my thesis count?
2470. Do you like magnetic poetry?
Haha, the memories…
2471. What is one of your secret delights?
M&Ms. Though that’s not so secret, is it?
2472. Have you ever misinterpreted song lyrics in a funny way (I used to think that ‘wake me up before you go, go’ was ‘wake me up and buy me cocoa’)?
That’s awesome. I don’t know if it’s just me or what, but I’ve always had a really hard time telling what singers said in their songs, regardless of how clear/mumbled the lyrics were. Example: Neil Diamond always sounded like he was saying “forever with blue jays” in Forever in Blue Jeans.
2473. What are the most popular/overused diary names?
Haha, “My Diary” or, on WordPress, “My WordPress Blog.”
2474. Are you under pressure?
2475. How well do you know yourself?
Pretty well. Though that’s changing.
2476. Is ‘soul’ such an old fashioned word?
2477. Name a person you love:
How do you love them? Let’s count the ways…
Do you really want to do this?
2478. Does your place have a lawn gnome?
2479. Do you ever wonder, ‘why me’?
When I’m feeling emo.
2480. Is rap a form of poetry?
2481. What’s the differance between a player and a baller?
2482. What imagery do you get from the words ‘woodsmoke and herbs’?
Firewood and oregano.
2483. How many days until your birthday?
100 days. Hey, check that out!
2484. have you ever MEANT to hurt anyone?
2485. What are 3 things you don’t know?
How would I know?
2486. Do you usually feel physically well or unwell?
I’m pretty physically healthy. Rockin’ that immune system.
2487. Would you ever submit your picture to be ‘rated’ on one of those ‘hot or not’ websites?
2488. Why are there hardly ever any fat people in movies?
Because society is dumb.
2489. Is there any differance between what’s real and what’s for sale?
2490. Are you funky?
I’m down with da funk.
2491. Do apologies always make things all better?
2492. Let’s just say that there is a huge ass bomb that can blow up the Whole Planet..it is set to blow up in 100 years. You can push the button to stop it but if you do you Will die. You only have this one chance to stop it. Do you stop it?
I die from pushing a button? How exactly does that work? Is there a needle coated in poison projected from the button’s surface that will kill me as soon as it punctures my skin? Is there the creator of the huge ass bomb waiting around the corner just waiting to snipe anyone who touches the button? Do I get to have “death by button” on my grave? SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!
2493. Let’s say someone else found the button to stop it instead of you. Do you think it is their moral obligation to save humanity at the expense of their own life?
2494. What’s the silliest name you can think of?
2495. It’s the middle of the night and you are home alone. Someone knocks on the dorr and says their car breoke down and asks to use your phone. What do you do?
2496. If a cop pulled you over and asked if he could search your car what would you say?
“When did I get a car?!”
2497. Are you meek or nasty around cops?
Haha, I remember when I was like six or seven and my mom and I got pulled over (there was something wrong with the speedometer and therefore we were speeding when we thought we weren’t, or something like that). I remember freaking out ‘cause I thought she was going to be thrown in jail. The cop gave me a sticker.
2498. If you were me and I was you then where would we be?
You’d be in Moscow. I have no idea where I’d be.
2499. What has been the greatest invention so far?
2500. We are at question 2500. Do you REALIZE what this MEANS??!!!
HALFWAY HOW FREAKING AWESOME
30-Day Meme – Day 26: Talk about the last “random act of kindness” you encountered.
I was walking sdown one side of the sidewalk and across the street I saw this lady’s grocery bag break and all her groceries spill out on the sidewalk. A pair of dudes walking the other way stopped to help her out. I think one guy had his stuff double-bagged and actually gave her the extra bag.
I’ve been up since 4 AM Eastern Time yesterday (Saturday). It is now 1:30 AM Pacific Time on Sunday. London to Chicago to Las Vegas to Seattle to Pullman to Moscow. Six hours in Las Vegas.
Party in the USA.
In other news, the Chicago O’Hare Airport has some pretty badass lighting going down in Terminal 2. Evidence:
If I ever end up with tons and tons of money? This. On every ceiling in my house. 24/7.
30-Day Meme – Day 23: What your last dream you can remember was about.
I had this really weird H. G. Wells-esque dream about a scientist who is somehow able to go into the future like 10,000 years. He finds out that a disease had destroyed a whole generation’s worth of humans’ eyesight and, for some reason, all subsequent generations’ eyesight as well. Therefore, everyone he meets is “blind” (and their eyes are bound over by these weird webs of skin and eyelashes explained loosely by crazy awesome dream science) and they become fascinated with him when he describes to them this thing called “sight.”
Not unlike the “in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king” adage, the scientist soon realizes that these individuals (who are living in a land that has once again become rich in resources that are scarce in the time of the scientist) can be taken advantage of because they cannot see him. He begins to pilfer from them, lightly at first, and then begins to eventually shape and alter parts of their routines and culture in order to get them to procure for him all these valuable resources. Little does the scientist know, however, these people have developed this sort of “extra sense” that allows them to “see” what the scientist is doing to them. They wait and play along with him for awhile to get him comfortable in the environment, then a bunch of them eventually capture the scientist and he is subject to quite a graphic and disturbing bit of torture involving the people injecting all these weird chemicals into the scientist’s eyes. It was…odd.
Things that are surprisingly easy to do:
– Withdraw from a Canadian university for medical reasons.
– Hire a company to pack all your apartment’s crap and haul it across the country for you.
– Love Coldplay’s new song Paradise. OH MY GOODNESS SO MUCH LOVE FIVE STARS FIVE STARS FIVE STARS.
Things that are surprisingly difficult to do:
– Cancel your Canadian credit card.
– Transfer Canadian funds to a US account.
– Terminate a Canadian cell phone contract.
– Send medical info from the US to Canada.
– Figure out how much money you’re getting for being a TA for part of a month.
– Doing all of the above in the exact appropriate order so that it all works out in the end.
Hooray stress! Perhaps today’s meme entry will alleviate anxiety.
30-Day Meme – Day 22: Your deepest fear.
Haha, nope, no stress relief. I’m afraid of failure. Failure defined on my own terms. I’d go into more detail but I’m getting really
distracted by the slot machines behind me (I’m stuck in the Las Vegas International Airport for four more hours) and I’m super tired of traveling, so I’m just going to leave things off here.
Hello ladies and gents. There is something special about today’s blog.
Today is my 2,000th blog!
This means it’s been 2,000 days since May 1st, 2006. That simultaneously sounds so long and yet so short.
In modest celebration (“modest” meaning “not extravagant;” all my crap’s packed up and I’m sitting in a hotel waiting to go home tomorrow and thus haven’t really had time to make a huge celebration blog), I’m going to list my top 20 blog titles and top 20 blogs. Because that’s kind of what I do.
Top 20 Titles (yes, most of these are stupid puns. Deal.)
- Are the bulbs of mercury at the bottom of thermometers collectively known as H.G. Wells?
- I just realized I’m illiterate and now I cacng apbtrtht kd thactgs
- Do physical comedians suffer from post-dramatic jest disorder?
- Circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works…
- Do philosophy departments have Causal Fridays?
- My new position at the PepsiCo factory isn’t the greatest job in the world, but I’m making Dew
- Waiter! There’s a tachyon in my—oh wait, there it goes, never mind.
- Is a theorem about pickles called a dill lemma?
- I am 95% confident that the population parameter ‘love’ falls between you and me
- If you want to eat an apple pie, you must first consume the universe
- Yo blog title, I’mma let you finish, but this entry holds one of the best blogs of all time
- I used to teach a failing fly-tying class until I realized my efforts were all for knot.
- I used to work at a bridal shop specializing in headdresses. My work there was to know a veil.
- Hammer Time is the fifth dimension
- How much fit would an index fit if the index indexed fit?
- Is Superman’s costume considered his strong suit?
- Silly Rabbit…Trix are for Magicians
- This just in: geophagists across the globe are biting the dust!
- Some Days I Miss My Sanity. Other Days I’m Just a Toaster.
- Waiter! There’s an infinite loop in my Waiter! There’s an infinite loop in my Waiter!…
Top 20 Blogs
- The Second Continental Chatroom – This is probably the only halfway funny thing I’ve ever written. Fueled by Chips Ahoy, baby. Fueled by Chips Ahoy.
- Claudia the Angry Blogger Presents: Yet Another Rant against Pretty Much Everything – This blog started as like three paragraphs and ballooned to a full-on “I hate change, especially on the internet” rant. It makes me happy.
- U Can’t Prove This – I’m really not sure how I managed to rewrite U Can’t Touch This while under the incredible stress of a 25-credit finals week, but here it is.
- HOT DAMN, Tukey Sandwiches! – I think the “pun to normal content” ratio is at its most ridiculous in this blog.
- Multicollinearity: The Silent Killer – If you don’t talk to your kid about near linear dependence, who will?
- A STATELY CHALLENGE – Because my first draft of the US without reference to a map is hilarious.
- My new position at the PepsiCo factory isn’t the greatest job in the world, but I’m making Dew – Philosophy of science stuff.
- Damn this infernal 95 character limit! I have witty things to say in my titles! This is crap! – Bashing Microsoft ’07: a happy pastime of mine.
- Pi vs. e – Alternate title: “R has two subsequent heart attacks.”
- Blameworthiness and the Anonymous Judge: An Analysis of FML Categories – My hypothesis was supported! WOO! I’d also like to expand this study at some point.
- If a blog falls in the forest… – Because of the Pokemon card.
- Gordon Freeman: A Case Study – Because of Gordon Freeman.
- Apple stores are goddamn scary – In terms of frightening corporate power, Apple is still < Google, but both should be watched carefully.
- An analysis of statewise uniform population density (according to Craigslist) – More stats fun.
- I’ve been waiting years for this – I remember being SO HAPPY when I opened the M&Ms package.
- Piece of Pi – More song parody! More math!
- Are the bulbs of mercury at the bottom of thermometers collectively known as H.G. Wells? – I really don’t know why I like this blog, I just do. Hippos.
- In This Blog: My Data Look like a Napkin Swan – Because of the uncanny and hilarious resemblance.
- Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is like a bad drug trip – It is! Seriously!
- Waiter! There’s a hippo in my Taco Grande! – Ye olde rant against pants. One of my early blogs.
Yay for 2,000 blogs. Here’s to 2,000 more, eh?
30-Day Meme – Day 21: A recipe.
YAY, a recipe! Cooking = win. Here’s one from the internet and one of my own.
1. Internet recipe
This makes a phenomenal breakfast/anytime bread. Super easy to make and crumbly as hell, this bread has a really good texture to it that adds to the sweet (but not overly so) taste. The only problem is that it goes moldy quite quickly if you try to stretch its life for more than five or six days.
2. Claudia recipe
You know I have to plug my Tukey sandwiches again (even though I just did), made and named in honor of the brilliant John Tukey. Because nothing says “you’re an awesome statistician” like a punny sandwich.