Tag Archives: claudia nonsense

Random Thought:

When you’re watching movie or reading a book, do you think about which character you’d play if you were to be in a remake of said movie or book?

Or is that just me and my weird-ass desire to make strange remakes of things that star myself and my friends?

(This is something that I’ve always wanted to do ever since I was a little kid. I have no idea why.)

Dr. Seuss for clouds: “Oh, the Places You’ll Snow!”

Oh my god, I want a Subway tuna sandwich so bad right now. It’s 3 in the morning, but hell, that’s when I usually have dinner anyway. Too bad the closest Subway is like 3 miles away (and is probably closed).

GOD, DELIVER UNTO ME A SUBWAY TUNA SANDWICH.

IT’S BEEN THREE MINUTES. I HAVE NO SUBWAY TUNA SANDWICH. ERGO, THERE IS NO GOD.

Logic.

(Sorry, I’m really hyper tonight.)

OH CRAP I FORGOT HOW TO BLOG

GUYS.

guysguysguysguysguysguysguys

I’m hyper.

Also, you know you’ve been watching too much Food Network when you have a dream in which Guy Fieri breaks into your house, chugs the entirety of your salt shaker’s contents, and then blasts through the roof using his salt-powered rocket feet. Not rocket shoes, rocket feet.

Edit: holy crap, Guy is 47? He doesn’t look that old. Must be the salt.

STOP! Wait a minute! Fill my blog, put some nonsense in it!

I am in a WEIRD MOOD, so you get a WEIRD BLOG

  • Hahaha.
  • I’m getting back into OK Go ever since we went to the concert.
  • It’s getting harder and harder to wait to read that Newton biography. Though I’m going to read it over the summer! And of course read Leibniz’ bio around the beginning of July, because that’s tradition now.
  • I miss my old band friends.
  • I miss my old high school friends, too. I wonder where everybody is and what they’re all doing now (I’m pretty sure none of them read my blog anymore, haha).
  • UGH, this blog of mine. It’s the most annoying thing on the internet sometimes, huh?
  • Okay, I’m done.

 

Is this the April List? WHO KNOWS?!!?!?!

(Mysteeeeerious!)

(I’m not on drugs, I swear)

I am, indeed, an April fool

When I get super sleep deprived, I tend to make/write/blog things I don’t remember making/writing/blogging about. For example, I found this thing on my USB this morning. Its “date modified” is last night (this morning?) at 3:43 AM.

Dumb Joke

THIS IS NOT FUNNY ON ANY LEVEL
THAT’S NOT EVEN HOW YOU PRONOUNCE “OREGON”
GOD DAMMIT, BRAIN

The Dumbest Joke in the History of Dumb Jokes

Say there are two trees growing close to one another, one with slightly darker bark than the other.
One day, the lighter-barked tree appears to have a single sheath of bark that’s slightly darker than the other bits of bark and looks like it matches that of the darker-barked tree.
And the other bits of bark say to the darker bark, “Dude. You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Crap, that isn’t even a joke; that is me with sleep deprivation plus a six-hour layover in Seattle plus the wake of a mini-freakout from last night when I woke up at my dad’s house and had NO IDEA where I was (I thought I was still in Calgary, but nothing looked familiar and I was scared).

I’m not sorry.
Hell, I’m not even coherent.

(Ignore this.)

Silly Claudia Idea #3144:

What would happen if famous books were really all about statistics?

  • The Trial would become The Bernoulli Trial
  • The Count of Monte Cristo would become The Count of Monte Carlo
  • Great Expectations would become Great Expected Values
  • The Old Man and the Sea would become The Old Man and the C-Test
  • The Wonderful Wizard of Oz would become The Wonderful Wizard of Odds
  • The Bell Jar would become The Bell Curve…though of course, there already is a book called The Bell Curve, so how about this: For Whom the Bell Tolls would become For Whom the Bell Curves
  • The Kite Runner would become The Code Runner
  • The Sun Also Rises would become The Sum Also Rises

And finally,

  • One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich would become One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich is Not a Large Enough Sample Size to Allow Us to Make Claims About the Average Day of Ivan Denisovich.

MAKE IT HAPPEN!

(Sorry, I’m super nervous for tomorrow and thus am making zero sense today.)

Ha

Idea: someone should make a pirate-themed R how-to book and call it R Matey. There would be a little cartoon parrot throughout giving little hints and tricks.

*squawk* “Close your brackets! Close your brackets!” *squawk*

Sleep deprivation is fun.

Boots: Claudia Style

Today I shall show you how to go walking in the snow/rain when you’re an idiot like me and live in Canada but haven’t bought boots yet.

READY?

Supplies:

  1. Two plastic bags (or two large Ziplock baggies)
  2. Pair of knee-high socks
  3. Pair of knee-high socks that you don’t mind stretching a bit
  4. Shoes
  5. Feet (not pictured).

image(18)

Step 1: insert feet into pair of knee-high socks.

image(19)

Step 2: put baggies over socks as shown.

image(20)

Step 3: put other pair of knee-high socks over baggied feet.

Step 3.5: MAXIMUM CANKLE

image(21)

Step 4: put on pants and shoes.

image(22)

Step 5: ???

Step 6: PROFIT! Or go walking, either one.

What I lack in common sense I make up for in…um…interesting ways to compensate for my lack of common sense.

EDIT: WELL THAT WAS A SUCKY WALK. Even with plastic protection, I was NOT going to walk through five blocks of flooded sidewalk. Nope nope nope. Also my iPod pedometer app had a flip-out moment so I lost half my mileage.

I’m frustrated now.

Rain, Rain, Go Away; I Changed the Locks, Just Leave, Okay?

Stupid crap I think about while driving in the rain:

  • Do windshield wipers have standard speeds, or is that not a thing that’s regulated?
  • Are certain windshield wiper patterns more common than others? By “pattern” I mean the way the wipers go across the glass—like do they both go from right to left and back, or do they open from the middle, that type of thing.

Stupid crap I look up when I get home:

  • Okay, it doesn’t look like there are any U.S.-wide standards on what speeds are necessary.
  • But windshield wiper geometry is most definitely a thing.

For some reason, that makes me very happy.

In this blog: Claudia Wordles Stuff

I’M SO FREAKING BORED

I WORDLED “ODOR”

odor

 

I WORDLED WIKIPEDIA’S “LEIBNIZ” PAGE

Leibniz

 

I WORDLED MY THESIS

thesis

 

I WORDLED THE LYRICS TO INTERACTIVE’S “DILDO”

dildo

 

I THINK I NEED TO SLEEP

Sweet Hot Cajun Invasion, I’m Hyper

The closer I get to this calc final, the more math puns I want to make.

The closer I get to the edge of my chair, the more I want to fall off.

The closer I get to removing all semblance of sanity from my blogs, the more my readers are thinking, “dear god, why did I decide to follow this inanity?”

HAR HAR HAR RED BULL TIME IT’S NOT LIKE I NEED IT BUT WHATEVS!

JEEBUS TAKE THE WHEEL!

Also, my hair’s long enough to braid now. Woo!

My Atmosphere

Idea: some company should make a type of gnocchi and call it Fibonocchi. The box would have to have some sort of mechanism where it would only dispense the gnocchi in quantities of Fibonacci numbers. Like if you shake it five times you get 0 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 3 = 7 gnocchi.

And it could only be served with rabbit.

I think I need to sleep.

Somebody needs to do this if it hasn’t been done yet

Imagine a creation story where the Cosmos gives us two brother gods: Integration and Differentiation. They are responsible for two components of the Universe.

Integration—”The Great Summer”—is in charge of unity and space (well, area, but let’s just go with space). He wields integral symbols as weapons and lives in the sky.

Differentiation—”The Great Changer”—is in charge of division and, of course, change. He’s able to take the smallest components of the universe (hence the “division” aspect) and create a degree of change in it*. He has armor made out of barbs tangent to his skin and lives in the earth.

Something to draw, maybe…?

*Yes, I know taking the derivative of a function does not cause the change measured. Just work with me here.

Protected: The Noise In My Head

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God, what’s wrong with me?

HAHA TRICK QUESTION I’M INSANE

Oh, APA…

DSM-5: The Future of Psychiatric Diagnosis

 

Does that read like a movie poster headline to anyone else?

 

DSM-V, The Movie: Let No One Escape Diagnosis!

I can see the plot now: “Tim Feltcher’s new job lands him in the town of DSM-V, a quirky little settlement amid dozens of other settlements across the American Midwest.

Upon settling down and living in the town for a few days, however, Tim notices there’s something odd about it. His office mate spends an obscene amount of time in the bathroom washing his hands. His neighbor shouts at imaginary passers-by and often warns him of bats flying through the neighborhood, even though there are never any to be found. His new girlfriend, Becky, stutters incessantly; his boss is too afraid to come out of his office for board meetings.

Tim wonders how he could feel out of place in a town so full of strange and different people. Then one night, just before he drifts off to sleep, it hits him: he is normal.

It isn’t long before Tim is contacted by Steve, a masochist who claimed that he escaped the town because “he no longer fit the manual.” Curious, Tim breaks into Town Hall late one night and discovers, under the floorboards of the mayor’s office, a large book. After strategically dodging the sleepwalking mayor, Tim gets away with the book and meets up with Steve.

It turns out that the people of the town live by the book—that every individual who resides there must be diagnosed with at least one disorder mentioned. The disorders are inflicted upon people by telling them they’re exhibiting problematic symptoms and then placing them on a series of placebo vaccines that help create the illusion that they truly are sick and require treatment. Steve recalls that the book has been revised multiple times, and that back when DSM-III became DSM-IV, he was able to escape between the time that his old diagnosis had been removed and a new one had been put in its place.

Tim decides right then and there that he has to get out of DSM-V. However, the next day he is brought to the mayor’s office and told that he’s been showing signs of post-traumatic stress disorder and that he must be given vaccines to help combat the further “infection” of the illness. Upon looking for the book, the Mayor discovers it missing! Tim jumps out of the office window [insert overly dramatic movie scene here], sprints back to his apartment, grabs the book, and rendezvous with Steve on the outskirts of town.”

 

OH GOD,  IT’S A CLIFFHANGER PLOT, HOW WILL THEY SAVE THE TOWNSPEOPLE?!

Haven’t thought about that part yet. Maybe they burn the manual.

Hey, at least I didn’t make a poster. A possible NaNo, but no poster.

 

Today’s song: Raise Your Hands by Bon Jovi

Protected: What is the sound of one horse being led to water?

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Blog 554: In Which Claudia Pretends to be Awesome

 (I’m hyped up on about 30 apple Jolly Ranchers at the moment (screw moderation!)—asking for forgiveness in advance)

 

A Survey I Want All of You Weirdos To Fill Out In Your Glorious Comments To This Blog
1. Claudia has a Flash project that is underway as this is being typed. It is a teaser/trailer for a possible upcoming Flash entitled, “Manifest Destiny: The Story of the Presidents.” Does this intrigue you?
[  ] Mightily!
[  ] Indeed!
[  ] Wait, what?
[  ] stfu u dont kno falsh lol!!!11

2. It is stated in the above question that this is either a “teaser,” meaning that the longer Flash stated in it will not be made, or a “trailer,” indicating that the longer Flash will be made, eventually. Which do you prefer?
[  ] Teaser. Claudia needs to focus on her schoolwork and 22+ credits next semester.
[  ] Trailer. Claudia needs to entertain her friends before they revolt and realize that all she’s good for is typing random surveys in her blogs and making them fill them out.
[  ] Ballroom dance!

3. The best-fitting definition of a “Claudia” is:
[  ] God
[  ] An appletini
[  ] A being of unsurpassable awesomeness
[  ] A being that uses C6H12O6 + 6O2  to make 6CO2, 6H20, and crazy-ass Flash animations

 

That is all. Please write on the top of your survey your student ID and favorite pair of underwear.

I used to work at a bridal shop specializing in headdresses. My work there was to know a veil.

This blog is destined not to make any sense (this is good to know, you hooligans!)

I’ve set the scene for an interrogation. You are a D-cup bra. In the seat next to you is a potted plant (of the cactus variety). You and Mr. Prickles (the cactus) caused quite a commotion at a local nightclub last night. However you, being a bra, can’t remember a single thing. And Mr. Prickles isn’t talking. It is up to you and your razor sharp negotiation skills to persuade Mr. Prickles to confess to both you and the heavily-cologned officer across the table the goings on of last night. The tools at your disposal include:

-a book of matches
-three copies of War and Peace (unabridged)
-a piece of wedding cake
-Dr. Phil

The egg timer on the table is set at 56 minutes. It is ticking down. Quickly, my bra-like friend, what do you do?!

a) I quickly grab the book of matches and begin threatening Mr. Prickles with a burning match whilst distracting the officer by giving him a copy of War and Peace to read and entertaining Dr. Phil with the tasty slice of cake.
b) I enlist Dr. Phil to counsel Mr. Prickles into speaking, while the officer and I share the piece of cake after propping it up on the three copies of War and Peace.
c) I set the three copies of War and Peace on fire while all of us share the piece of cake and dance around the bon fire of glory.
d) I watch in amazement as Mr. Prickles constructs an elaborate escape using just three matches and Dr. Phil’s tie. I then pummel the officer with copy after copy of War and Peace as Mr. Prickles and I escape to the roof.
e) Dr. Phil threatens us with a lighted match until we all promise to stop making fun of his accent.
f) I act as a priest, reading out the wedding ceremony from a copy of War and Peace while the officer and Mr. Prickles realize their love for each other and get married, thus putting the wedding cake to good use.
g) I cough up a lung and Mr. Prickles and I take a cab to downtown New York.

You must choose! All of you!

 

And yes, I did have a bit of sugar tonight, how could you tell?

“Hey everyone, let’s do some mother%#*^ing drugs!”

Man, I’m bored. This has nothing to do with anything. Impending finals tomorrow.

Do me like a crossword puzzle!

“Ah! My dear Watson! I do believe I’ve solved the riddle of my constant coldness! If you examine the evidence closely (and by “examining the evidence” I mean observing the result I obtained by taking my temperature every 30 minutes over the course of one day) you will see that my internal body temperature never rises above 97.8 degrees! Furthermore, Watson—you sexy beast, you—I have found that this internal temperature dropped below the hypothermia threshold (approximately 96.8 degrees) on twelve separate occasions!
“Now I know what you’re saying, Watson (you man-beef you, I want you in my bed chamber later): ‘Sir, your argument holds little water. I know, as you do, that body temperature varies from person to person. Your body’s average temperature may in fact be a significant amount lower than your peers, therefore rendering this ‘normal’ hypothermia threshold marking irrelevant. However, I do say that this lower temperature has no effect on your sexual urges.’
“Indeed,” I would say in response, “you are correct regarding my sexual urges. However, you fail to provide an adequate argument regarding your other points. I fail to recognize the idea that my body temperature would naturally be low enough to consider such a low temperature of, in one case, 94.7, as ‘normal’ and ‘healthy.’
He: “But sir, you are, as I recall, anemic.”
Me: “No longer! I have conquered the beast that is anemia months ago and it has remained conquered!”
He: “Ah! I see your brilliance now! May I recline now upon your floor and bid you to do what you wish of me!”
Me: “Oh-ho! I see you want more of what you got last night!”

 

Etc., etc.

 

So yeah. I’m a freaking hypothermic little weirdo.

Waiter! There’s a quadriplegic in my Jazzercise class!

What’s up with me and the quadriplegic/paraplegic jokes? Anyway, down to business!*

*none of this should be taken seriously. Seriously.

An Exposition on Paleontology In Which Several Points Must Be Made

Point 1: In Which Is Written A Strongly-Worded Letter To Jack London

Dear Mr. London,
Having just read your short story “To Build a Fire,” I have several questions regarding the coldness of the territory in which your character, “the man,” was wandering about.
Repeated six times in 11 pages is some variation of the phrase, “it was cold.” Your exact words are:
“It certainly was cold, he concluded”,
“Once in a while the thought reiterated itself that it was very cold”,
“It certainly was cold”,
“It certainly was cold, was his thought”,
“There was no mistake about it, it was cold”, and
“It certainly was cold, was his thought”.
On completion of this story I found that there might be some confusion over whether or not it was cold in this Alaskan territory. Other readers and I would benefit greatly if you were to state clearly—on multiple occasions, perhaps, even repeating yourself—how cold it actually was (that is, if it was cold at all).

Thank you in advance,

Sir Isaac Newton (not that one, a different one).

 

Point 2: In Which The Riddle Of The Double-Dream-Marriage To William Shatner Is Discussed

Dear Brain,
It has come to my attention that you, on more occasions than one, have found it rather humorous to have me marry William Shatner in my dreams. This has occurred now both in the months of February and March.
While William Shatner is indeed a dignified character, and while we both share several similar activities and hobbies, such as appearing in Kellog’s All-Bran cereal commercials on the side (thank you, Wikipedia), I do feel it is time for a change.
I would appreciate it, my dear Brain, if you would delve into the past a bit, and conjure up images of Voltaire, Descartes, or Locke. Seeing as how Voltaire is the only man who dared show a smirk in his portraits, I would prefer him.
Oh Brain, how I wish for Voltaire in my dreams tonight.

Thank you in advance,

Me (you know me, don’t you?).

 

Point 3: In Which My Severe Aversion To Romanticism And My Longing To Return To The Study Of The Enlightenment Is Discussed

Dear English Department,
While I realize how necessary it is to delve into all forms and time periods of English literature, I do strongly recommend that we return to the study of the Enlightenment. It is so much more intriguing and enchanting than Romanticism. While Frankenstein’s creation and Rousseau’s raunchy “Confessions” do it for some, others, like myself, prefer the wit of Voltaire and the steady reasoning logic of Descartes.
Please see Point 2 above, disregarding the first part about Mr. Shatner.

Thank you in advance,

Some Random Student.

The Second Continental Chatroom

THIS IS WHAT I DO WHEN I’M BORED.

This is my attempt to describe the events (or the night, more accurately) leading up to the Second Continental Congress in Philadelphia, as well as the writing of the Declaration of Independence, if the founding fathers had had computers, the internet, and a chatroom or two. Done in an hour.

Note #1: this is about as historically accurate as scientology is a credible theory, so keep that in mind while you read it (although some things that are thrown in there have some historical context). It’s mainly for entertainment.

Note #2: I tried to use “chatroom dialogue” for this thing. So that’s why like every third word is incorrectly spelled and/or an abbreviation.

Okay, that’s all. Enjoy!

The Second Continental Chatroom.
10 founding fathers.
2 chatrooms.
1 hell of a ride.

Here’s the key to the names:
GeorgeW = George Washington
Hancocky = John Hancock
AllAboutTheBenjamins = Benjamin Franklin
Tom = Thomas Jefferson
JMad = James Madison
John1776 = John Adams
Sammy = Samuel Adams
Alex = Alexander Hamilton
Liberty1000 = Patrick Henry
Sensible1 = Thomas Paine
TheKing = King George

>>>>>>>Logging on: Chatroom25<<<<<<<..:namespace prefix = o ns = “urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office” />

(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed on)

(GeorgeW signed on)

(Alex signed on)

(Tom signed on)

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Testing, testing…

GeorgeW: hello?

(John1776 signed on)

(Liberty1000 signed on)

(Sammy signed on)

John1776: is it working

Alex: yeah it is

Liberty1000: hi guyzzzzzzzzzzzz

(JMad signed on)

(Sensible1 signed on)

Sammy: awesome invention ben :P

Tom: yeah best so far

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Thanks guys

AllAboutTheBenjamins: I call it the “chatroom”

AllAboutTheBenjamins: I stole the patent from the English :P

John1776: lol

JMad: oh noes!

Sensible1: Haha

Alex: ho hum

Sammy: wat do we do now

(TheKing signed on)

TheKing: Teh King is hear!

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Uh-oh

JMad: its geourge

John1776: lol brit

Tom: hi geourge ;)

TheKing: shut up I don’t hvae a u in my name

Sammy: why r u folowing us around

Sammy: give us space

TheKing: stop running awy from me

TheKing: y arnt we friends anymore

Alex: cuz ur anoying

TheKing: no im not

Tom: yes you are

John1776: u keep telling us wat to do

John1776: and wont leave us alone

John1776: stop it

TheKing: shut up im the best guy youll ever meet

TheKing: im the kign

John1776: yea right

TheKing: >:(

TheKing: no!

TheKing: I am teh king!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

TheKing: I rule!

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Wow, he’s getting annoying.

Alex: k guys lets move 2 a diffrent room

Tom: k

(Alex signed off)

(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed off)

John1776: alrite

(Sensible1 signed off)

(Tom signed off)

(John1776 signed off)

GeorgeW:  byebye gourge

(GeorgeW signed off)

(JMad signed off)

(Liberty1000 signed off)

Sammy: :P

TheKing: NO STAY HERE

(Sammy signed off)

TheKing: DAMN

>>>>>>>>Logging on: Chatroom05<<<<<<<<<<

(Alex signed on)

(John1776 signed on)

(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed on)

Alex: this is much better

(JMad signed on)

(Sammy signed on)

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Indeed.

(Sensible1 signed on)

(Tom signed on)

Alex: where’d pat go?

John1776: I dunno we mustve lost him

(GeorgeW signed on)

Alex: omg gorge is so dum

John1776: No kidding lol

GeorgeW: :(

Alex: No not you geogre

Alex: teh other 1

GeorgeW: o okay

John1776: ur teh cool george

GeorgeW: thx <3

JMad: btw did you see aaron today

John1776: lol ya

John1776: those socks where so stupid

JMad: ill give u 10 virginia dollars if u shout burrs a grrl next time u see him

John1776: lol deal

Alex: god i hate him

Alex: i wish i could shoot him

John1776: lol ur so vilent

Alex: hey he deserves it

John1776: youd prolly be the one 2 die, lol

(Liberty1000 signed on)

JMad: hey patrick

JMad: pat pat patty pat patrick patty pat pat pat patrick patricio pat patty fat pat patty patrick pat pat patty pat

Liberty1000: what

JMad: hi :P

John1776: lol

Tom: so ben wat did u do over in france

AllAboutTheBenjamins: The question SHOULD read, “WHO did I do over in France”

Sensible1: :O

GeorgeW: (  . Y . )

Liberty1000: omg u seriussssssssss

AllAboutTheBenjamins: ;)

AllAboutTheBenjamins: You know what I say

AllAboutTheBenjamins: “Girlies in bed and girlies when rise makes life healthy and full of surprise”

John1776: lol

John1776: u mite wanna change that for teh public

AllAboutTheBenjamins: I probably will

AllAboutTheBenjamins: What rhymes with “girlie?”

Tom: surly

Sensible1: Burly

Alex: curley

GeorgeW: early

Liberty1000: twirrly

AllAboutTheBenjamins: “Early” sounds good; I’ll try that

John1776: your so lucky ben i wish i could go to france

John1776: but abby would kill me

Sammy: lol

JMad: *whip crack*

John1776: :( tahts not nice

JMad: sorry

(Hancocky signed on)

Alex: uhoh guys better behave

Alex: hancocks online</span>

John1776: oh crap lol

Hancocky: WTF IS UP GUYZ

Alex: lol hi john

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Hey Johnny

Hancocky: THERES MY MAN

Hancocky: HEY JOHN ADAMS  

John1776: lol hey john hancock

Hancocky: TANKS FOR GETTIN THOSE SUGAR ACT GUYZ OFF MY BACK DUDE

John1776: np

Sensible1: hey hancock wanna get a smaller font

Hancocky: NO

Hancocky: I LIKE IT THIS WAY         

Sensible1: w/e

Sensible1: Why are you so obnoxious, john?

Hancocky: WTF PAINE

GeorgeW: yea dude

GeorgeW: you think your so hi and mighty just cuz your writing a book

GeorgeW: anyone could do that

Tom: i wish i could write something good :(

JMad: awwww poor t.j.

John1776: u can write good tom

Sammy: we <3 u Thomas

Tom: aw thnx :)

JMad: btw sam what do you have going on in your basement

JMad: ?

Sammy: nothin

JMad: liar

JMad: i kno you have beer lol

Hancocky: OMG WHERE

JMad: Sammys got beer in his basement

Alex: holy crap sam adams beer rocks

GeorgeW: u should pee in a bottle and sent it to geourge

John1776: lol

Alex: i h8 geourge

Alex: >:(

Sammy: me too

AllAboutTheBenjamins: I think we need to lay down the law with him.

Alex: definitely

Hancocky: TOTALLY

Tom: yes

Tom: it becomes nesessary for one people to disolve the political bands which have connected them with another

Tom:and to assume among the powers of the Earth the seperate and equal station to wich the laws of nature & of natures god entitle them

Tom: a decent respect to the opinons of man kind requires that they should declare the causes with impell them to the seperation

Tom: :P

GeorgeW: wow

JMad: dude write that down

Tom: haha, sriously?

<P class=MsoNormal style=”MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt”>Sammy: ya

John1776: do it

Alex: and add more

Tom: k

Hancocky: TOTALLY BASH GEOURGE IN IT TOO

John1776: yea write down all the crap hes done to us

Alex: ^ this

Tom: k what has he done

AllAboutTheBenjamins: He appointed those judges that were completely biased

JMad: those damn brit soldiers everywhere

JMad: can’t get them out of my house

Hancocky: I CAN’T TRADE DAMMIT

John1776: that doesnt stop u

John1776: lol

Alex: Taxes!!

Hancocky: I WAS ON TRIAL BECAUSE I TRIED TO TRADE BUT THERE WAS NO JURY

Sammy: i had to go back to england to go on trail

Sammy: sea sickness and all

Liberty1000: I’m boreed

Liberty1000: somebody talk 2 me

Sammy: l8r

Liberty1000: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeez

Liberty1000: pm me

Sammy: no were busy

Liberty1000: Give me a pm or give me death!!!11

Hancocky: DUDE SHUT UP

Alex: ya seriously u say that about everythign

Liberty1000: I do not

AllAboutTheBenjamins: You said it about my bran muffin the other morning

AllAboutTheBenjamins: I gave it to you too because I thought you were being serious

John1776: lol

Liberty1000: fine then

(Liberty1000 signed off)

Tom: k anyways wat else has he done

Tom: ?

JMad: remember when we all had 2 go to england for that stupid meetign

JMad: that counts

GeorgeW: he keeps overrulling our laws

Tom: k one sec

Tom: allright its done

John1776: tom ur teh 1337

Hancocky: OGM YOU NEED TO SEND THIS TO GEOURGE

Hancocky: WE SHOULD ALL SIGN IT

Hancocky: I CALL FIRST

Sensible1: I dont know why youre all getting excited about what he’s writing

Sensible1: I mean all of its just common sense

JMad: Paine, stfu

John1776: lol paine

John1776: ur all about the common sense crap

Sensible1: Hey its a good idea

Sensible1: Its better then toms stupid thing

Hancocky: DON’T DIS TEH TOM

GeorgeW: seriously

JMad: i say we send paine to give this to geourge

Sammy: second dat

Sensible1: This is ridiculous

(Sensible1 signed off)

John1776: lol

(TheKing signed on)

TheKing: BWAHAHA IM BACK

GeorgeW: oh ****

Tom: haha hi geourge :P

JMad: hey geourge, asl?

TheKing: wtf

JMad: *takes off wig and outer tunic*

John1776: lol

TheKing: u guys r sick

Alex: I <3 YOU GEOURGE!!! 

TheKing: ew

Sammy: hey geourge

TheKing: wat

Sammy: ur tea sux

John1776: lol

Hancocky: OMG BURRRN

TheKing: u guys are rediculous

Tom: hey gourge we have something to show you

(>TheKing received Declaration.doc from Tom<)

TheKing: u will all regret this

(TheKing signed off)

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Hooray! He’s gone!

Alex: bring it on king…we got the cool george

GeorgeW: :)

Hancocky: HEY GUYZ WE SHOULD TOTALLY MEET SOMEWHERE AND PLOT SOME MORE

Alex: ya

Sammy: i can brign some beer

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Where should we go?

Alex: theres taht old building in philadelphia

GeorgeW: ok cool

Tom: k

John1776: see u there guys

(John1776 signed off)

(Sammy signed off)

AllAboutTheBenjamins: Alright, I’ll be there

(Tom signed off)

(GeorgeW signed off)

(Alex signed off)

JMad: me too

(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed off)

(JMad signed off)

Hancocky: THIS IS GONNA BE SO COOL

(Hancocky signed off)</font>

(Liberty1000 signed on)

Liberty1000: guyzzzzzzzz

(Sensible1 signed on)

Liberty1000: where did u all go

Sensible1: Hello?

Liberty1000: paine!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Sensible1: Oh god no

(Sensible1 signed off)

Liberty1000: hello

Liberty1000: dangit

(Liberty1000 signed off)

The End…or is it?

MY NEXT PROJECT (in other words, no one else is allowed to do this): chronicle all of U.S. history using the chatroom format. After that, possibly, is the Bible chronicled using chatroom format.

 

Oh crap…2007…

HAPPY NEW YEAR, PEOPLE!

Also, today is yet another blog anniversary. I’m not even keeping track anymore, dangit.

Anyways, this one’s for you, Maggie:

The explanation as to why Spork=Insanity
SPORK
Pork=bacon
SBACON
Bacon=”inside” a pig. Use the “in” and put it on the left “side” of “sbacon.”
INSBACON
Bacon can sometimes be unsanitary. Replace “bacon” with “unsanitary.”
INSUNSANITARY
The sun has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Delete it.
INSANITARY
To rid the word of the “a” and the “r”, think of something that starts with those two letters. Like AR (accelerated reader) books. Did you have to read those in junior high? Didn’t you hate that? Don’t you want to rid your mind of the experience? Yes? Good. Delete the “a” and the “r.”
INSANITY