# Fake It ‘Till You…Fake It, I Guess

Do you know what time of the year it is?

It’s FAKE UI CLASS SCHEDULE TIME!!!

Let’s do it.

**MWF**

HIST 411: Colonial North America (10:30 – 11:20)

MATH 310: Ordinary Differential Equations (11:30 – 12:20)

BIOL 120: Human Anatomy (12:30 – 1:20)

MATH 579: Combinatorics (1:30 – 2:20)

**TH**

CS 360: Database Systems (12:30 – 1:45)

GEOG 301: Meteorology (2:00 – 3:15)

MUSA 121: Concert Band (4:30 – 5:20)

**T**

BIOL 120: Human Anatomy Lab (8:30 – 11:20)

**W**

ENGL 582: Techniques of Fiction (5:00 – 7:50)

Yay!

# FAKE CLASS SCHEDULE OMFG

HEY, SO…

The Spring 2016 class schedule is out for the U of I. YAY! Time to make a fake schedule!

This schedule’s going to be filled with basically all the classes I find interesting rather than ones that I have the prerequisites for.

‘Cause why not.

LIFE IS SHORT; TAKE CLASSES YOU’RE NOT PREPARED FOR!

**M/W/F**

MATH 386: Theory of Numbers (9:30 – 10:20)

PLSC 205: General Botany (1:30 – 12:20) (shut up, it sounds cool)

**F**

THE 440: Playwriting (10:30 – 1:20)

**T/H**

MUSA 321: Concert Band (12:30 – 1:45)

ENGL 492: Advanced Fiction Writing (2:00 – 3:15) (I actually did take this class, but this time it’s offered with Orozco and he’s fantastic, so I’d take it again)

**T**

PLSC 205L: General Botany Lab (9:30 – 12:20)

Also: Alex (Dr. Woo) will be teaching Analysis of Algorithms in the spring? OH MY GOD, that would be a fun class to take with him as the prof. Alex is badass.

(Not that it wasn’t a fun class when I took it with Dr. Nielsen—‘cause it was—but Alex has a totally different style.)

# Yes, I’m going to keep doing these until the U of I no longer exists

The UI schedule for fall is out! You know what this means…

**HYPOTHETICAL SCHEDULE MAKING TIME!**

Because why not.

There’s only one stats class posted for the fall that I haven’t already taken, and most of the math classes are super upper division stuff that I don’t think I could ever do, so let’s make it an artsy-fartsy semester, eh?

**MTHF**

GERM 101: Elementary German I (9:30 -10:20)

**MWF**

STAT 507: Experimental Design (12:30 – 1:45)

**TR**

ART 111: Drawing I (10:30 – 12:20)

ART 261: Ceramics I (2:30 – 5:20)

**W**

GERM 101L: Elementary German I Lab (9:30 – 10:20)

That’s only 13 credits! There’s not a very good offering in the fall.

# Best Part of the Year

**GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYZ IT’S SCHEDULE TIIIIIIIIIIIME!**

Hi.

Okay, so…good news! I don’t have to take Stochastic Methods: U of C Version! I get to take two classes I REALLY am excited for!

Next semester’s classes include:

STAT 517: Practice of Statistics

This is technically for senior undergrads, but we can take up to two 500-level courses as grad students and have them count. This one is taught by my supervisor, Dr. Chen, and he recommended I take it, so there ya go. Apparently this is like a “real world stats” class intended for students going out into the work force as statisticians. Says the official description: *“The emphasis is on how to address real world scientific and social issues by applying the various statistical methods acquired in the earlier years in a unified and appropriate way. This involves method selection, data handling, statistical computing, consulting, report writing and oral presentation, team work, and ethics.”* Apart from the teamwork aspect, YAY.

STAT 621B: Research Seminar

This is a year-long course, so I’m already in it and know what it involves. It’s actually a cross-listed seminar required for all the statistics, pure math, and applied math students, and we all have to give a talk on a research topic of interest. This semester all the math people are going and it’s actually been really interesting stuff so far. I can’t wait ‘till I get to tell them about MEASURING MODEL FIT!

STAT 625: Multivariate Analysis

I’ve had like forty* multivariate analysis classes, but according to Dr. Chen, this one will focus more on the theoretical side rather than the applied side. Which will be super cool. If we get to do factor analysis, I’m going to pee my pants from joy.

ALSO:

U of I schedule is out!!!! Time to make my fake schedule for Spring 2015:

**MWF**

MATH 386: Theory of Numbers (9:30 – 10:20)

HIST 350: The Age of Enlightenment (11:30 – 12:20)

STAT 516: Applied Regression Modeling (12:30 – 1:20)

MUSA 317: University Chorus (2:30 – 3:20)

**MW**

ENGL 492: Advanced Fiction Writing (5:00 – 6:20) (I don’t care that I’ve already taken this)

**TH**

ART 241: Sculpture 1 (8:30 – 11:20)

PHIL 325: Existentialism (12:30 – 1:45)

Why does UI start offering the badass classes AS SOON AS I LEAVE? A lot of other good ones overlapped with these though (Concert Band, for one, which is why I’ve got University Chorus on there. I haven’t sung since elementary school but WHO’S GONNA STOP ME?!), so it would be hard to do this for real.

*Two. I’ve had two multivariate analysis classes.

# Fake Schedules are Just as Fun

Hello friends!

To distract myself from the craptastic summer this is becoming, I made myself a “fake” schedule for next semester. This is what I’d be taking if I were to stay at UI in the fall:

**MWF
**HIST 404: History of Science – 9:30 – 10:20

MATH 315: Topics in Pure Mathematics – 10:30 – 11:20

PHYS 103: General Astronomy – 11:30 – 12:20

MATH 388: History of Mathematics – 1:30 – 2:20

STAT 565: Computer Intensive Statistics – 2:30 – 3:20

**TR**

MUSA 321: Concert Band – 4:30 – 5:20

**T**

PHYS 104: General Astronomy Lab – 5:30 – 7:20 (T)

Yes, I would choose History of Mathematics over Intro to Analysis I, which is required for the “general” math degree option but conflicts with History of Math. I WANT TO TAKE THAT CLASS SO FREAKING BADLY.

Also, I’d take Astronomy because I would like to take that class. It doesn’t do anything for any degrees I would (likely) be trying to pursue.

# SCHEDULE CHANGE!

Okay, duders, I’m changing my spring schedule around. ‘Cause I always do that. ‘Cause I’m me.

Reason: I’ve wanted to take STAT 453, Stochastic Methods, ‘cause my knowledge of such things is pretty much zero. I knew that it was offered in the spring, but I thought that I needed both 451 and 452 as prerequisites. However, I randomly decided to check the course catalog (again…) and it turns out that only 451 (which I’m in now) is the prereq. So Stochastic Methods is in! It knocks out poetry and leaves me with just Advanced Nonfiction as my only English class next semester. Kinda sad, but I’m excited about Stochastic Methods.

Updated schedule (as if anyone cares):

WOO!

# The Best Part of the Year

LOOK AT THIS SCHEDULE

LOOK AT IT

We’ve got:

**ENGL 291:**Beginning Poetry Writing**ENGL 492:**Advanced Nonfiction Writing**MATH 395:**Analysis of Algorithms**MATH 420:**Complex Variables**MUSA 321:**Concert Band (of course)**STAT 452:**Mathematical Statistics

Plus two sections of STAT 251, which are represented by the little red boxes.

PARTY TIME! I’m super excited.

# YES

**FINALLY.**

**SPRING SCHEDULE.**

**MY LIFE MAKES SENSE AGAIN.**

*Spends an hour perusing all pages*

The good:

- Nothing conflicts with my teaching schedule! (I already knew that, but it’s good nonetheless.)
- I can pull off a Writing minor if I want to.
- ADVANCED CALCULUS I!!
- If I miraculously don’t botch things up, I can graduate in the spring.

The bad:

- No History of Math. (I already knew that too, but it’s bad nonetheless.)
- To pull off said Writing minor, I have to take Beginning Poetry. *gags in iambic pentameter*
- Since I’m “off” by a semester (I took calc III over the summer), I have to take Advanced Calculus I via Engineering Outreach. That means that it’ll cost me about $800 for that single class.
- I don’t think I’ll be able to pull off one of my signature “all my classes are in one solid block and my week is symmetrical, look at all this sweet, sweet homework time” schedules.

So yay?

# CLASSES!

Classesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclasses

classesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclasses

classesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclassesclasses!!

*Deep breath*

I’m back, bitches! Here’s the rundown:

**Probability (STAT 451):** This is the class I’ve been waiting for. I think this will be the one where calculus and stats will finally mate in a glorious orgy of bell curves and integrals.

**Linear Algebra (MATH 330):** I really think I’ll get more out of it this time, especially since Dr. Abo is awesome and I like the way he teaches. Plus there were three of us who got there early and we kind of bonded into a “let’s study together” group, so that’s cool.

**Advanced Fiction (ENGL 492):** After writing non-fic almost exclusively for quite some time now, it’s going to be interesting to switch back. But I’m excited! I love writing and I love reading others’ stories.

**Numerical Linear Algebra (MATH 432):** Hmm…not sure about this one. Today we just talked about some of the problems we were going to solve, including ones involving least squares methods and singular value decomposition. I’ve used both of those things in the context of multivariate stats, but never in depth. Though our professor did ask us what were some characteristics of a non-singular matrix and we all kind of hesitated before answering, so hopefully that means that we’re all at least on the same page as far as our familiarity with (or memory of) linear algebra goes.

**Intro to Higher Math (MATH 215):** Why are 200-level classes the most difficult ones? I’ve never understood that. Anyway, I foresee this being similar to Symbolic Logic (that’s code for insane amounts of work). I’m excited, though. And if I can make it through, I can take advanced calculus (Math…471? I think?) next spring! *flailing*

END!

# Alrighty!

Alright y’all, my “for fun” class has been decided!

Ready?

*drumroll*

It’s** LINEAR ALGEBRA!**

*But Claudia,* you say, *you already have taken Linear Algebra!*

Indeed! But here are some reasons why I want to take it again:

**1.** It’s IMPORTANT. And I’m about 99% sure I could get a lot more out of it now than when I took it back in 2009. Now that I know I want to go study multivariate statistics—probably SEM specifically—I need to know my linear algebra. I need to know it very well. I knew it decently when I took multivariate stats and SEM, but now that I know how it’s used in those types of analyses, if I go back and take Linear again, I think I’ll be able to better pick out the really important stuff. At least to a greater degree than I did before.

**2.** I’m also taking *Numerical* Linear Algebra this semester as well, which (surprise, surprise) has Linear Algebra as a prereq. Since it’s been so long since I’ve had the prereq, I figured a little in-semester refresher could only be a good thing.

**3.** Calculus, trigonometry, and geometry are my friends. Algebra and I still spread dirty rumors about one another and glare hatefully at each other whenever we pass. This needs to change.

**4.** It’s being taught by Dr. Abo, the professor I had for Discrete Math last semester. Dr. Abo is very intelligent, very awesome, and very good at teaching. He’s also hilarious at times.

Yeah so anyway.

# The Fisher-Yates Shuffle is not a dance

So I’ve been screeching for like the past five minutes because **THE FALL CLASS SCHEDULE IS UP ZOMG!**

**The bad:
**Agh, the ONE CLASS I really, really, really wanted to take (History of Math) is not offered.

[frustrationfrustrationfrustrationfrustration]

**The good:
**Well hell, everything else looks good, though. Regardless of which section(s) I end up teaching of STAT 251, none of them will conflict with the other classes I want to take.

Tentative schedule:

*(MWF*)

STAT 451: Probability Theory (8:30 – 9:20)

ENGL 492: Advanced Fiction Writing (12:30 – 1:20)

MATH 432: Numerical Linear Algebra (1:30 – 2:20)

MATH 215: Intro to Advanced Mathematics (2:30 – 3:20)

*(TH)*

MUSA 321: Concert Band (4:30 – 5:20)

I also really want to take HIST 404: History of Science until 1800, but I can’t find the prerequisites anywhere (it’s a special topics class, so who knows) and it also conflicts with Advanced Fiction.

ANYWAY.

Throw one (or two?) sections of STAT 251 in there and we’re good.

*But DAMMIT I wanted History of Math.*

# It’s tiiiiiiiiiiime…

YES. SCHOOL.

Review:

**MATH 176 (Discrete Math):** I still dig that we’re going to talk about the pigeonhole principle. Totally excited about the material in this class.

**PHYS 211 (Engineering Physics):** There are like five of us in there who aren’t physics or engineering majors. This’ll be a lot of work, I think, but it sounds like it’ll be really fun as well. And my prof is awesome.

**CS 120 (Computer Science I):** Programming in stuff other than R and SAS! I see myself getting really obsessive about this class.

AND **my class,** which is super late in the day, especially for a stats class (3:30). I’ve got about half the students I did last semester due to the time, but hey…at least I’m not teaching the 8 AM section. I hope my students will like the class (and me).

WOO!

# Are all Culligan men Aquarians?

Now *this* is a schedule.

I’m going to drop either applied regression (STAT 516) or discrete math (MATH 176) because even with my insane credit-taking, I’m not sure if I can pull 19 credits while teaching. Plus, I’ve heard that calc II is the bear of the calc trio.

But WOO! I love making schedules.

I teach MWF 3:30 – 4:20, by the way. So if you know anybody that still needs to take STAT 251…

# It’s that wonderous time of the year of hypothetical semester schedules!

I’ve forgotten the joys of next-semester’s-schedule planning. Yayayayayay.

**M/W/F:**

MATH 175: Calculus II

PHYS 211: Engineering Physics I

CS 120: Computer Science I

STAT 516: Applied Regression Modeling

[Teaching STAT 251: Statistical Methods]

**T:**

CS 120: Computer Science I Lab

MUSA 321: Concert Band

**H:**

PHYS 211L: Engineering Physics I Lab

MUSA 321: Concert Band

It’ll be weird teaching 3 days a week. But I can’t WAIT.

# If two hotels from the same company sleep together, is it considered inncest?

I’m at work right now writing this. Decided to take a short break for my sanity’s sake. This damn PDF I’m working on keeps crashing Adobe Acrobat so I’ve had to read this 50-page chapter on bowel movements like ten times.

Anyway, after screwing around with my schedule a bit this last week, I’ve finally got next semester all in place. Behold!

I’m beyond excited. I’ve missed school so much.

That is all.