I’ve the Sadness
I am painfully nostalgic for pre-COVID times.
Anyone else?
I want…
- To know if I’m getting tenure or not
- To go down to Moscow and visit my mom
- My mom to come up here and visit us
- The weather to get better so I can start training for my ultra
- The reassurance that I can actually run this ultra (60K sounds so intimidating)
That is all.
I am tremendously, inexplicably, irreparably sad.
How are you doing?
*insert depressing title here*
I am feeling so very discouraged today. It feels like this pandemic will never end because people are so selfish and stupid. Every time one part of the world takes a step forward, it’s like we take two steps back somewhere else in the world.
And when it is eventually over (assuming that happens), then what? What is there even to look forward to anymore? Climate change? Water shortages? More disease?
It’s like there’s no point anymore. Things are only going to get worse.
Bl
I feel so completely demotivated for like the past half year. I don’t want to do anything and feel like I can’t even concentrate long enough to finish one sentence before getting distracted or trying to find something that will hold my attention.
It sucks and I hate it.
HEY GUESS WHAT
I’m sad.
I don’t care about this blog anymore
I don’t care about anything anymore, really.
2017: The Year where Nothing is Actually Terrible but My Brain is Convincing Me Everything is Terrible because My Brain is Terrible.
Blah.
Whiiiiiiiiiiiiine
My head hurts.
My soul hurts.
BUSLFHL
I am So. Goddamn. Sad. I hate the end of the year/beginning of the year. It always makes me very depressed no matter what the circumstances.
On the plus side, though, look at this manlicious thing I get to stare at above my computer desk now.
BLUCH
Do you ever feel like a box of turds for no discernible reason?
That’s how I’m feeling today.
It might be because I didn’t walk to campus today. I wanted to give my feet a bit of a break because I’ve walked 71 miles over the past week, but maybe my body’s so used to the walking that it goes into “I’mma feel like garbage” mode if I don’t walk more than 5 miles in a day.
Sorry, body. I’ll do better tomorrow.
(P.S. Microsoft Word 2007 does not recognize the word “turds”)
Blah Blahson
I’m having one of those “why do I even bother blogging?” days. Hence, this blog is just going to be me saying that I’m having one of those “why do I even bother blogging?” days.
Sorry.
BLUH.
Ever had one of those days where you’re super sad for absolutely no reason?
That’s today for me, y’all. So this is all you get.
Sorry.
Shock and Awful
I am inadequaaaaaaaate why am I even in grad school?
(It’s one of those days, sorry.)
(No, I’m not sorry.)
(I can feel like an incompetent piece of nonsense if I want to, dammit.)
(And I want to.)
(Parentheses.)
[I can also feel inadequate because I totally skipped over this post back in November when I was supposed to post it.]
How many posts have I titled “Blah” now?
Ugh, today was a crap-mobile. And my fridge is broken and all my broccoli is half rotten and I am sad and cold and frustrated.
Eye See You!
RAINBOW EYE!
I’m sooooooo bored. Wanna draw, but can’t think of an idea.
(Ignore the giant shadow that makes me look like I have a black eye. Crappy lighting, yo.)
Photographic proof of the kind of week I’ve been having:
Yeah, that’s the mouthpiece for my clarinet. Good thing we don’t have a concert tonight, right?
OH WAIT.
Well, this week’s gone to hell.
Things that cheer me up:
- Teaching stats. Lots and lots of stats.
- Leibniz. Lots and lots of Leibniz. (Naked.)
- Calculus.
- MENERGY!!
- Rage Quit.
- AH in general.
- This.
- The Hitler in Captain Planet video.
And the comments on the Hitler in Captain Planet video:
- People going back in time to sell Hitler the atomic bomb is my top environmental issue too.
- Why the fuck does Hitler have a Hulk Hogan moustache?
- why the sweet hell does Hitler have a fu-manchu mustache?!
- Well there you have it. Those other kids can have their strong ring powers. Mati headbutted Hitler. All further arguments are invalid…
- What in the actual jumping monkeyfuck?
- Two perfectly weak windows to bust through, Captain chooses the wall.
- I can’t get over the fact that captain planet is so lame, you can literally defeat him by simply *hating* him hard enough.
- If you can’t trust Adolf Hitler, who the hell can you trust?
- those goofy Nazis
- Captain planet has the right idea, throw all of our problems INTO SPACE!!!
- The Furher does not barter. He CONQUERS!
- hahaha ‘stop bidding or else ill invade you’ wish i could use that on ebay
BlaLaLaLaLa
I feel freaking horrible today. Very, very lonely and without motivation for the first time this semester. I think I’m realizing that like 90% of my friends are in steady relationships with someone or other and I’m still alone.
I know, I know, shut up, Claudia.
But seriously. I wouldn’t mind some companionship; it’s been like three years.
[self-pity bitch-session complete; commence Fallout 3]
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
I miss happiness and I miss control.
But I mostly miss control.
2012, stop trying to be 2011.
Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But this year’s still kind of sucky.
This week in particular has been one long string of bad news. I know you’re all probably sick of me complaining here, but I need someplace to vent before I start stabbing peoples. You all know how I like plans, right? Well so far this year it’s been very, very tricky to make any sort of concrete plans. That’s very difficult for me.
On a positive note, I (accidentally) sliced the hell out of my ankle with my razor while I was shaving my legs and didn’t even really bleed. Vitamin K, people. It makes you a god.
That is all.
Crappity Crap Craptastic Crapperton
Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah I want death.
You get 30 Day Meme and ONLY 30 Day Meme before I pass out in a heap of neurosis.
30-Day Meme – Day 2: Your favorite movie.
I’m not a movie person. There are approximately seven movies in existence that I would willingly suggest watching if I were in the position of HAVING to suggest a movie for lack of better alternative ways of wasting time.
But one movie I could watch again and again and again (and have) is Apollo 13. Why?
1. Tom Hanks. He’s badass and, in my opinion, one of the better actors out there.
2. Kevin Bacon. See above, plus the fact that he also starred in Tremors as a random cowboy makes me laugh every time I see him as an astronaut in this movie.
3. I have a thing for movies about space. From the more “accurate” movies like this one to the all-out corny “AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!” movies like Armageddon, space movies have always been of interest to me.
4. The soundtrack. Particularly the track “The Launch.”
Listen and chill.
sfa dfaf ddd
Feel like total crap. No motivation, no will to do anything. Want to curl up and die in a dark corner. Blogging not happening today.
I feel crappy
Solution: apartment temperature cranked to 78 degrees, Top Chef, making pretty graphs for my thesis, and not going to campus.
Why isn’t there a MyLifeIsPathetic.com yet?
Boring blog
I hate those days where everything’s going great, and then all of a sudden you get this extreme onset of anxiety regarding the rest of your life. Like, to the point where you don’t see the point of going forward because every possible direction you can think of for yourself seems like such an effort that there hardly seems to be a point to it all.
Whyyyyyyyyy does this happen daily all of a sudden?
Blah.
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