It is November 20th today.
As you may or may not know (depending on how long you’ve followed my blog and/or how much attention you pay to past blogs), November 20th is the birthday of the person known as Lead.
Lead, for those of you who don’t know, is the nickname I use for the person that I had a massive, massive, massive crush on all throughout the end of elementary school, junior high, and high school (and it would have started earlier, I’m sure, except he didn’t come to Moscow until 5th grade).
I have long since ceased giving a single fart about this guy, but just the date “November 20th” brings him back into my memory because he was a serious part of my existence for about seven years of my teenage life.
Today, that also brings up something that I’ve come to realize about my mad obsession with this dude that I’ve never really shared. This is a realization I made a long while ago—like, 8th grade, maybe—but was one I kind of kept inside hoping that it wasn’t true, because that truth was more pathetic than frantically stalking a dude for the sake of true love.
(At least, that’s what my 14-year-old brain convinced me of).
This realization? I wasn’t obsessed with Lead because I was in love with him or was soul mates with him or any of that lovey nonsense. I was obsessed with him because I wanted to be him. He was everything I wish I was, especially in junior high and high school when I was so painfully apathetic about, well, pretty much everything but Lead.
The guy was popular. The guy was good-looking. The guy was athletic. And most of all? The guy was smart.
Like… S M A R T.
I don’t know if he actually had a genius-level IQ, but I’m 99% convinced of it. Super smart. He put everyone else at that garbage bag of a school to shame with what he could do with his mental prowess and how easily he seemed to do it. He got a full ride scholarship to some school in Montana after he graduated, but I’m sure if he didn’t take that he could have easily gone to MIT or Harvard or Oxford or something like that. And he would have blown those fuckers away at those schools.
That’s what I wanted. I wanted to be that smart. I probably could have faked my way through high school a lot better if I’d given a crap (I think my cumulative GPA at the end was like a 3.5), but it would have taken work. I would not have been able to do it with the ease he seemed to do everything.*
This is the Amateur Hour psych student in me, but I think I hid my jealousy of him with admiration. I thought, “hey, if I can’t be this guy, maybe I can get him to like me. If he likes me, that means I’m good enough to at least be liked by a dude of this caliber. So let’s do that!”
Anyway. I know, I know, stupid shit. But I figured I’d mention it now that I’m so far removed from him that I don’t even think we’re Facebook friends anymore. Or at least, I’m no longer obsessively checking his Facebook like I used to. Haha.
*Yes, I know I might be wrong about this. He made it look like it was easy for him. Maybe it wasn’t. But goddamn, he sure made a convincing argument that getting through school was as easy for him as slicing butter with a hot knife.
So 2016 is just all about the milestones. Today, for example, marks exactly 10 years since I graduated high school. I’m not going to do a “here’s all the stuff that’s happened in the past decade” ‘cause I already did that for my decade blog anniversary (see this post), but it’s still a big deal in my opinion.
Ten years is a long time. A lot has changed, and most of it in ways I would have never expected. I certainly could have never predicted that at 28 I’d be living in Calgary, working on my second graduate degree, and engaged to be married.
I also wonder, every once and awhile, how all of these dorks are doing. I never talk to anyone from high school anymore.
Is your life something you would have never expected 10 years ago?
Here are some bullet points that apply to my life right now:
- I live in Calgary
- I’ve been keeping a daily record of my life for the past 8.75 years
- I have a math degree
- I have someone wonderful to love (and who loves me back)
- I’m still in school
- I am in a graduate program for statistics
- I like teaching (statistics)
- I like walking for exercise/pleasure
Ten years ago, I was in the midst of my junior year of high school. If you had told me even one of these bullet points was going to apply to me in ten years, I would never have believed you. If you had told me all of them were going to apply to me at the same time, I probably would have just laughed at you. But here I am, ten years later, and they all apply.
Hell, if you would have told me any portion of these points even five years ago, I probably wouldn’t have believed you.
Life is weird.
My stuff came this morning, yay!
First thing I did involved digging out the monitor to Big Compy and hooking it to Old Vaio (the one with the busted screen). Laughed at all the old crap from high school senior year and all my undergraduate silliness.
Spinning pineapple drawn and animated in Flash! I had this titled thereisaseasonturnturnturn.gif. (EDIT: apparently you have to click on stationary pineapple to get it its own page. It’ll spin there.) (EDIT 2: apparently it depends on your browser)
Also, of the 50 songs I currently have rated 5 stars, 22 of them were rated 5 stars back in the era of Old Vaio.
That is all.
Hey ladies and gents. NEW BLOG LAYOUT! Do you like it? Please say yes.
So this is some data I collected in my junior year of high school. I asked 100 high schoolers a series of questions out of Keirsey’s Please Understand Me, a book about the 16 temperaments (you know, like the ISFPs or the ENTJs, etc.). When I “analyzed” this for my psych class back then, I didn’t really know any stats at all aside from “I can graph this stuff in Excel!” (which doesn’t even count), so I decided to explore it a little more. I wanted to see if there were any correlations between gender and any of the four preference scales.
The phi coefficient was computed between all pairs (this coefficient is the most appropriate correlation to compute between two dichotomous variables). Here is the correlation matrix:
First, it’s important to note how things were coded.
Males = 1, Females = 0
Extraversion = 1, Introversion = 0
Sensing = 1, Intuiting = 0
Feeling = 1, Thinking = 0
Perceiving = 1, Judging = 0
So what does all this mean? Well, pretty much nothing, statistically-speaking. The only two significant correlations were between gender and Perceiving/Judging and Sensing/Intuiting and Perceiving/Judging. From the coding, the first significant correlation means that in the sample, there’s a tendency for males to score higher on Perceiving than Judging, and for females to score higher on Judging. The second significant correlation means that in the sample, there’s a tendency for those who score high on Feeling tend to score high on Perceiving, and a tendency for those to score high on Thinking to score high on Judging.
The rest of the correlations were non-significant, but they’re still interesting to look at. There’s a positive correlation between being female and scoring high on Extraversion, There’s a correlation between being male and scoring high on Feeling, and there’s a very, very weak correlation between Feeling/Thinking and Extraversion/Introversion.
Woo stats! Take the test, too, it’s pretty cool.
Today’s song: Beautiful Life by Ace of Base
So apparently some chick I went to high school with is engaged to Ludacris now. I don’t remember her AT ALL, and I don’t think she was in my year. Still though, small world.
Anyway. Interesting article.
Sorry, slow day.
Today’s song: Explosive by Bond
You know what I miss? 7th grade. It was a fun time. I know none of you know (except for Aneel), but it rocked.
Haha, I remember messing around with Ross after school, and Jimmy, his son (who was a coat, I think) and Nell, Aneel’s puffy marshmallow coat. And then that whole thing with Ross throwing the snowballs at the white trash truck with the gun rack in the back. Man, that was hilarious.
Knowledge Bowl. Now THAT was fun. Me + Aneel + Ross = fail at every competition (mostly because we messed around and were always one person short of a full team) but hey—it was fun.
I miss it. It was not high school, and it was not catholic school.
Wasn’t it around this same time last year that all us people who were in physics were trying desperately to finish our chairs?
Those damn chairs…
I dug the picture of mine out of my butt last night. It was supposed to be cheese, but in retrospect, it looks more like The Cheat.
I just got home from my graduation today.
It was exciting and very scary. Mr. Kaag spoke, which was cool, and so did Ben. They both rocked. I got a little bronze honor cordy thing, which is kinda disappointing (since I could’ve done better) but oh well.
Mr. Blount told me that I got a 99% in his class–the highest grade in all the periods.
Train o’ Rockin’…aw, screw it. I never have to go through physics again!
Now I never have to see Lead again, the little loser!
Off to the Senior Party!
I am very disappointed in my Rube Goldberg machine, which conveniently quit working when Mr. Blount came to check it out for a grade. It’s as if it hates me for some reason.
But anyways, it is the last day of high school…ever. Kinda sad, kinda scared, kinda excited.
But mostly pissed about physics. It ruined my whole day.
HOLY CRAP IT’S FINALS WEEK!
Okay…now that that’s said, here are a few random dingy-bobbers that are occurring/being pondered/continuously going through my mind:
1) I am a geek. This has already been proven, but I figure the fact that I give people nicknames due to whether or not their initials make up a symbol of the Periodic Table of Elements (examples: Aneel would be Arsenic (As), I would be Curium (Cm), and you-know-who would be Lead (Pb). Nerdy nerdy geek freak.
2) I like fajitas (despite the fact that I have never had one).
3) I’m really friggin’ thirsty right now. For chocolate milk. Dang.
4) Pedro is hot.
Can you tell I’m bored as hell? I’m bored as hell.