IT LIIIIIIIIVES!

Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s been like 40 decades since I last posted.

I’M SORRY. Life happened.
I’ll try to be better, I promise.

The upside is that if you end up having nothing to do in the next few weeks, you can spend your time reading up on how my life’s been going. Because there’s nothing more exciting than that, right?

Right.

For those of you who don’t give enough of a crap to read each and every single one of the 282 (!!!!!) new blogs, I don’t blame you. Here’s a summary:

  • Walking
  • Teaching
  • More teaching
  • Unrelenting and unexplainable sadness
  • Lots of walking
  • A few really good songs
  • More walking
  • More teaching
  • MOAR SADNESS

Exciting, huh?
There, I just saved you like an hour.

Now I’m off to disappear for another half of a year (hopefully I’m just kidding.)

Edit: SORRY I FORGOT HERE HAVE SIX OF THEM

LEIBNIZ DAY 2017

IT’S LEIBNIZ DAY!!

YAY!!

It’s also Canada’s 150th birthday, but Leibniz day takes precedence for me. The guy invented calculus, yo. Would Canada even exist without calculus?

I GUESS WE’LL NEVER KNOW, WILL WE

(Sorry, I’m hyper.)

I also did a 30-mile walk this afternoon/evening. It took me 6 hours and 18 minutes, but I kept a pace of 4.77 MPH despite it being obscenely hot and then obscenely thunderstormy. My feet/legs didn’t feel any worse than they do after a typical 15-mile walk, so hey, that’s cool. I’mma try it again on Monday.

(I spent most of my walk thinking about Leibniz, not gonna lie.)

 

Mileage Update: Halfway Point

If I had walked 15 miles a day six days a week (as was my goal at the beginning of the year), my current mileage should be: 2,340
What my current mileage actually is: 2,433.19

Nice? But 90 miles a week won’t get me to 5,000 miles for the year!

To be on pace for the 5,000 miles, my current mileage should  be: 2,500 (duh)

So I’m a little behind.

TO BE FAIR, I’ve had to take quite a few days off from walking entirely in order to get all my work done for teaching this semester. And since I don’t have anything else to do in July*, I’m going to try to not only make up the difference in miles but try to get ahead of pace.

So yeah. Hopefully I’ll be able to make it!

*“Get a job, you lazy bum,” you say? Well, I technically got paid for a whole summer’s worth of work teaching during spring. Plus, I’m still holding out and hoping that I’ll get another class to teach in the fall (pleasepleasepleaseplease). PLUS, I’m going to Moscow in August and then on a week-long cruise with Nate, and I don’t know if any job would be willing to give me that much time off right off the bat. So for now, I’m going to take advantage of the awesome opportunity I have to spend a whole month walking to my heart’s content. How many people get to do that?

Woah

Good lord, OneRepublic. Super powerful lyric video and song.

GOBBLES WOBBLE BUT THEY DON’T FALL DOWN!?!?!?!

I’m probably more stressed about tomorrow’s than some of my students are. I’m worried something’s going to go wrong, because that’s been the defining characteristic of this semester so far.

Sorry for the crappy blogs. Been really busy/stressed/nervous/overwhelmed.

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*internal screaming*

Because I have nowhere to go to do any external screaming without getting weird looks/making a scene/getting the cops called on me.

But *internal screaming* is to the max.

CAT CAFÉ

So Calgary’s first cat café is opening this weekend.

Two things that they’re doing that I really like:

  1. They’re working with the MEOW Foundation, which means that all the cats in the café are adoptable!
  2. The cats are sanctioned off in their own special room, apart from the café itself. I was originally worried that the cats might be in the actual café and thus would have plenty of chances to escape (onto a pretty busy street) as people entered/exited the building. But nope! Safe cat room makes things better. AND you need to make an appointment to visit the cat room portion of the café, meaning that the cats won’t be overwhelmed with too many people at a time.

Hopefully Nate and I can go there someday (and order something non-coffee from the menu, haha), though they’re already quite booked into the future.

WOO CATS!

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Worms

I saved* a worm on the sidewalk today.

It was super dried out and moving just enough that I thought it could recover if it was moved to some moist soil, so I picked him up and put him in the cool, shaded soil under a bush near the sidewalk.

Why does this matter?

Back when I was a kid (early elementary school) I was known as the “worm saver” because I would always use my recess time following a rainstorm to go around and make sure the worms out on the sidewalk weren’t going to get stepped on/drowned in a puddle/dried out once it got sunny and hot again. One of my teachers even gave me a necklace with a little pendant of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, because of how often I was out trying to make sure the worms would be safe.

Anyway. It’s been a while since I saved a worm, and doing so today kinda brought me back to elementary school.

*Not sure if I actually saved him. Certainly made it a lot less likely he’d get stepped on, at least.

HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN HERO

Y’all want some cool math stuff?

Of course you do.

Nate was reading a Reddit thread titled “What is the coolest mathematical fact you know of?” The two that were the coolest to me are the following:

An explanation of just how many different ways there are to uniquely shuffle a deck of 52 cards.

Graham’s number. Ridiculous.

Seriously, read these. Numbers are amazing.

Is it a survey? OF COURSE IT IS WHAT ELSE IS THIS GARBAGE BLOG FOR

Warning: I’m in a caps lock mood, so be prepared.

What is the color of the last towel you used?
Tan.

Are you listening to music right now?
I’m blasting the hell out of my eardrums with the Planet Earth II Suite. It’s such a good song.

If so, whatcha listening to?
CRAP I DIDN’T SEE THIS QUESTION BEFORE RESPONDING TO THE PREVIOUS ONE I MESSED UP BIG TIME

Would you rather have a hippo or rhino dropped on you?
A hippo, but only if it’s hungry hungry.

Do you walk a lot?
Bitch, pls.

If you’re still in school, what number is your locker?
GOD I MISS SCHOOL

What color is it?
SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Do you have any super silly nicknames?
I’m Claudia Marie Bitchin’ McGee, but that’s not a nickname.
That’s a responsibility.

Have you ever heard of the Japanese snack Yan Yan?
Nope.

Do you watch sports?
Baseball!

Which ones, if any?
SHIT I DID IT AGAIN

Do you enjoy the great outdoors?
I appreciate the mediocre outdoors.

Do you like cream soda?
Ew.

Is there anyone who hates you?
Probably.

What color is your cell phone?
Blue!

How does your hair look right now?
Awful.

Are you on any medications?
Nope.

What is the last piece of mail you received?
No idea. Probably something from RBC or CIBC.

How about e-mail?
Probably a question from a student.

Who is your 15th contact in your phone?
I don’t have that many contacts.

Name something you like about school.
E V E R Y T H I N G

Do you eat meat, or are you a vegetarian?
I will eat meat, but I don’t ever eat it unless it’s at a restaurant or something. I never cook it on my own.

Have you ever cried in front of a teacher?
I’ve cried in front of everyone.

Have you ever cried BECAUSE of a teacher?
Oh yeah.

Do you do a :) or a (:?
(: is the most uncomfortable thing on the planet to look at.

Do you have a Facebook?
Yup.

Do you go on it often, if you do?
I stalk people, but I never post anymore.

What is the closest gas station to you?
That Shell across the street.

Who did you last see in concert?
OK Go!

What grade are you in?
Can we stop with the school questions? It’s making me feel nostalgic and sad.

Are paper clips fun to play with?
Meh.

Can you speak any other language?
I know some sign language. And I can fingerspell.

Do you prefer mechanical pencils or regular pencils?
Mechanical.

Do you have a job?
Yup!

What’s your job?
Stats instructor at U of C. Best job ever.

Do you take advil, tylenol, or ibuprofen?
Ibuprofen, but only when I’m really hurting.

Do you enjoy classic rock?
Sure.

Have you ever heard of the band Citizen Cope?
Yes.

Is your alarm clock set right now?
Nope.

What kind of music do you listen to the most?
Anything that catches my fancy. I’ve broadened my musical tastes a lot with this “Decade of Music” project.

If you witnessed a crime, would you call the police right away?
Depends on the crime. Littering? Nah, I’d just clean up the mess. Murder? Nah, I’d just clean up the mess. Yes.

Are you itchy right now?
Nope.

Do you like pine trees, or do think the sap is too annoying?
Trees are gods DO NOT INSULT THEIR ZEUS JUICE

Mountains or beach?
Beach, just because I like the sound of the ocean.

Are your walls blank or covered with pictures/posters?
Blank, except for Leibniz.

Have you ever tried veggie burgers?
Nope.

Do you have anything on your wrists?
I have six (yes, six) hair ties on my left wrist right now.

Do you have a mirror in the room you are in?
No.

Have you ever had corn nuts?
Hell yeah! I used to eat them while playing Moto Racer when I was a kid.

Do you smoke?
Nope.

What is your favorite shape?
Triangle.

Who did you last kiss?
My wonderful husband.

Do you have any favorite accessories?
Meh.

What color are your sheets?
…are they striped? Why the hell can’t I remember the sheets?

What time did you wake up this morning?
Too early.

Did you take a nap today?
Nope.

Would you rather get a tattoo of a face or a name?
Name.

Do you get a lot of sleep at night?
I never get a lot of sleep.

What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate?
Uhhhhhh…Oreo?

Where were you an hour ago?
Walking.

When’s the last time you got a haircut?
I sawed off a bunch of my hair not too long ago.

Anything good in your cabinets?
More half-empty pasta boxes than there are atoms in our solar system.

How old are you?
29.

Cupcakes or muffins?
Muffins, but only poppy seed.

Are pigs adorable or dirty?
Pigs are coolio.

What color are your shoelaces?
Purplish-pink.

Anything moldy in your house?
Don’t think so.

Have you ever been in an earthquake?
No.

Do you enjoy history?
Sure. I don’t know enough of it, but I enjoy it.

How much time do you spend on Facebook?
More than I should.

What internet browser do you use?
Chrome.

Do you work full-time or part-time?
Technically part time, but I’ve been working ALL THE DAMN TIME THIS SEMESTER

Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Santa’s a badass.

When is the last time you yawned?
Haha, just now. THANKS, QUESTION

Do you wear a lot of makeup?
Not a lot.

Do you wanna learn any other languages?
I would love to be fluent in sign language.

Have you been outside your native country?
I am right now!

What is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced?
Appendicitis?

Are you a confident person?
Hahaha, I thought that said “are you a confident pizza,” and I was like no, my toppings are insecurity and “STOP STARING AT ME I’M NOT A SIDESHOW”

Do you own a laptop or desktop?
Both!

What’s the temperature outside?
No idea.

Did you get hit by any hurricanes?
Hahaha. If we ever did up here, something’s gone terribly wrong.

Could you ever be a mortician?
Sure.

Are you pumped up about anything?
Not right now.

Can you solve a Rubik’s cube?
Never tried.

What color hair do you have?
Black.

Have you ever eaten a bug?
By accident.

What color are your kitchen walls painted?
Yellowish.

Bees Get Degrees

Want to know a) what other people with your same college degree are doing, and b) how much they’re earning doing it? Check this thingy out!

Here are mine:

Psychology (females, my age group)

I wouldn’t want to be any of those.

Philosophy (females, my age group)

That’s…surprising.

Math (females, my age group)

Hey, there’s postsecondary teachers!

Could be worse, I suppose. I’d rather be happy than rich!

                                                                   

Di-Vine Punishment

Man, I don’t know if it’s because I’m beyond sleep deprived right now or what, but this is a damn fine set of Vines.

Why did they take Vine away from us?

Why?

Anosmia: Cat Food Edition

Believe it or not, I don’t think my anosmia has ever caused me to give myself food poisoning or anything like that. I mean, I’ve had food poisoning before (most likely?), but it’s not because I didn’t smell that the milk had gone rotten or that item XYZ was past its expiration date.

So as surprising as it might seem, my anosmia has never caused me any food-related problems.

But it just caused a problem for Jazzy.

I went to give Jazzy her soft food this morning and she took about half a bite of it before walking away. This isn’t unusual; on the weekends she gets her favorite type of crunchies, so she usually will ignore her soft food in favor of the crunchies.

But then Nate came in the kitchen and was basically like, “why does it smell like death in here?” Turns out the soft food I’d just given Jazzy was super rotten. And I had absolutely no idea.

Awesome.

I cleaned out the bowl and gave her some new non-rotten (as checked by Nate) soft food, and she ate some of it, but then she threw up like two minutes later. I’m not sure if she threw up because of the bit of rotten food she had or because she inhaled the other soft food + crunchies (which happens sometimes), but I still feel bad. I don’t give a crap if I accidentally poison myself, but I don’t want to hurt my kitty.

Stupid nose.

She wants the d/dx

Stuff I gotta do when that elusive jerkface Free Time returns:

  • Walk until my toes fall off.
  • Clean the condo. My responsibilities are the bathroom and kitchen, which get the most visibly gross the fastest.
  • Consolidate my pasta. No, that’s not a euphemism for naughtiness. So the one thing I ever make for dinner is penne pasta with broccoli and feta cheese, right? Well, I have this phenomenally bad habit of using about 88% of a box of penne before buying another box and starting in on that one. Then it gets 88% used and the cycle repeats itself until I have 20+ mostly empty boxes of pasta in the cupboard and a new box of pasta in my backpack that I picked up from Safeway on my walk home and another box of pasta in my office desk drawer because it wouldn’t fit in my backpack and a husband who’s wondering where he went wrong in selecting a wife.
  • Clean the little storage room in the back. There’s a lot of boxes back there. And cat litter dust. Time to sweep where no man has swept before!
  • Clean my side of the closet. There’s a lot of boxes in there. Mostly shoe boxes full of dead Kinvaras.
  • Draw more. Nate bought me an awesome sketchbook and a set of really nice markers, but I haven’t had a chance to touch them yet.
  • Organize my bookmarks. Most of them are in alphabetical order, but the rest are in a chaotic mess. I don’t like it.
  • Read this amazing biography of this amazing human being yet again, because it’s getting to be that time of the year.
  • Rewrite my old calculus notes into one giant notebook combining calc I, calc II, and calc III. Because calculus.
  • Do my 50-mile walk. It’s time.
  • Organize the crap on my computer. My desktop is all a-clutter with random files named “lasjflsdjf” and “what is existence” and “AAAAAAAAAAAAA” (100% real titles) and I have no idea what the hell they are and how necessary it is to keep any of them.
  • POST THESE BLOGS OMFG

An Ode To Cumuli

Sung to the tune of Queen’s Fat Bottomed Girls

Oh won’t you coat the sky today
Oh block out all those UV rays
Oh and you never bring the rain
Flat bottomed clouds you give this rocking world some shade

Hey I was just a walking fiend
Who forgot to wear sunscreen
Thought I’d burn before I’d walk a couple miles
But then overhead you towered
Soft and white like cauliflower
Heaping cumulus, you done make this walker smile

Hey hey!

I’ve been walking, don’t you know
‘Cross the city, ‘cross the Bow
I’ve felt every ray of sunshine on the way
But when I’m beneath your shade
I feel like I could walk all day
‘Till the sun goes down and its rays you glow

C’mon
Oh won’t you coat the sky today
Oh block out all those UV rays
Oh and you never bring the rain
Flat bottomed clouds you give this rocking world some shade
Flat bottomed clouds you give this rocking world some shade

Yes, I know there’s another verse, but this is all I remember coming up with on my walk this afternoon, so chill.

Innernet

I’m too stressed out to make a normal blog post, so have some internet stuff.

Glitter chocolate bars!

I wish more people realized that how you compose an email says a lot about you and can either get you want you want or get you exactly the opposite.

This is hysterical. I love when you see their little feet sneak in on the side to try and save their friend from the madness they’ve created.

I found a playlist on YouTube of all the MST3K shorts and I can’t stop laughing. My dad bought a bunch of MST3K on DVD back when I was a kid and my favorite part of them was whenever they did a “short,” which was usually some sort of after school special or a short little informative thing on how something is made. Favorites include “Why Study Industrial Arts,” “The Chicken of Tomorrow,” “A Date with Your Family,” and “Cheating.”

I pretty much love all these eyeshadows.

Incredibly satisfying.

How many trees are there?

 

Puttering

My attitude toward my responsibilities right now:

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if this is a good attitude or a bad one.

Aga-meme-non

Woah, this is super satisfying and calming.