Haha, thanks, Google.
Yes. Yes I have.
No shame.
Anyway, completely changing topics…
I mention Achievement Hunter quite a bit on here. There are a few reasons for this.
- Listening to them game is like living in the house with the guys again. It’s hilarious.
- This sounds super dorky, but they kept me company over the summer. I didn’t have any friends around and they put out YouTube videos at least 5 times a week, so…that was that.
- They’re one of the funniest YouTube channels out there, in my opinion. Grown men cussing each other out playing video games is fantastic.
Since starting doing Let’s Plays of Minecraft back in 2012, they’ve done 65 half-hour (or longer) episodes, many featuring the Tower of Pimps.
Well check out the latest Minecraft update:
Pretty cool! Congrats, guys. And seriously, check them out (if excessive cursing doesn’t bother you, haha).
Anxiety, I will STAB you in the FACE
Once you let me leave the house.
In the meantime…
STATS JOKES STATS JOKES STATS JOKES!
Because it’s that kind of a day.
- One day there was a fire in a wastebasket in the Dean’s office and in rushed a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician. The physicist immediately starts to work on how much energy would have to be removed from the fire to stop the combustion. The chemist works on which reagent would have to be added to the fire to prevent oxidation. While they are doing this, the statistician is setting fires to all the other wastebaskets in the office. “What are you doing?” they demanded. “Well, to solve the problem, obviously you need a large sample size” the statistician replies.
- What’s the question the Cauchy distribution hates the most?
“Got a moment?” - Did you hear about the statistician who was looking all over for the sum of eigenvalues from a variance-covariance matrix but couldn’t find a trace?
- Did you hear about the nonparametrician who couldn’t get his driving license? He couldn’t pass the sign test.
- A middle-aged man suddenly contracted the dreaded disease kurtosis. not only was this disease severely debilitating, but he had the most virulent strain called leptokurtosis. A close friend told him his only hope was to see a statistical physician who specialized in this type of disease. The man was very fortunate to locate a specialist but he had to travel 800 miles for an appointment.
After a thorough physical exam, the statistical physician exclaimed, “Sir, you are indeed a lucky person in that the FDA has just approved a new drug called Mesokurtimide for your illness. This drug will bulk you in the middle, smooth out your stubby tail, and restore your longer range of functioning. In other words, you will feel ‘NORMAL’ again!” - What did one regression coefficient say to the other regression coefficient?
“I’m partial to you!” - Why are the mean, median, and mode like a valuable piece of real estate?
LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION!
Yay, I feel better now.
MORE CAPS LOCK = MORE STUPID PUNS
WASHINGTON CROSSES THE DELAWARE!
WHY AM I ALLOWED TO HAVE FLASH?
I SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO HAVE FLASH.
(…or Red Bull)
Dr. Jones and Dr. Free are BACK IN BUSINESS
30 minutes of top-notch surgery. I love Michael and Gavin so much.
And here’s all of the AH boys playing WWE ’13, because oh my god.
Today is the worst day of the year
So April Fool’s Day makes me want to stab people. But Google’s April Fool’s nonsense is actually pretty great.
This would actually be useful to losers like me whose noses don’t work.
Achievement Hunter!
If you’re ever feeling down, just watch some Achievement Hunter. Seriously.
Rage Quit is always good, of course, but some of the Let’s Plays are just hilarious.
Worms. Farm Simulator 2013. Moonbase Alpha.
I just started watching their Minecraft Let’s Plays from the beginning. The third one, oh my god. It reminds me so much of gaming with the guys in the house.
Fantastic.
asfajdfalkghaerfaiodf
WHY IS THIS SEMESTER STILL HAPPENING?!
You get this and only this today, because if I try to talk about anything of substance I’m going to have a panic attack.
You know it’s pretty bad when Michael’s screaming is actually calming. I think next time I’m correcting tests I’m going to write “YA DONE GOOFED, SON!” for every wrong problem.
The King of Archery
Well I did absolutely NOTHING productive today.
Unless you consider watching nearly every Achievement Hunter video on YouTube as productive. I am now well versed in Rage Quit-style cursing and have been converted to the “Gavin is hilarious and should be worshiped” camp.
Because…you know…MAAAAAAAARK NUUUUUUUUUUTT!
Rooster Teeth does it again
I haven’t laughed this hard in forever, holy freaking crapspackle.
I love how Michael is just horrified as Gavin’s gleefully botching attempt after attempt.
“We’ve lost everything. We’ve lost everything.”
Watch until the end, it’s so worth it.
Oh man.
Well no sleep tonight, then
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Pardon the short blogs this week; I’ve been super busy getting everything done. But by tomorrow I’ll have NOTHING!
Which will be weird.
This just in: I need a life
This is what happens when I doodle on my stats notes while waiting for SAS to load.
It’s probably my absolute dumbest (and only?) atmospheric joke/pun yet, but what’re you going to do?
Gotta love this time of year.
Hahahaha, oh my god.
I’ll be your eigenvalue if you be my eigenvector
Stats humor! I’m making these my post today even though I’m pretty sure none of my followers follow me for my stats drabble.
- Q: What do you call a tea party with more than 30 people?
A: A z party!
- Day of the quiz:
Professor: “OK students, you have fifteen minutes to plot the bivariate distribution between A and B, fifteen minutes to compute the correlation between A and B, and 5 SECONDS to compute the kurtosis of B.”
One student stands up very worried: “Excuse me Professor, how can we posssibly compute a kurtosis in 5 SECONDS?”
The Professor looks at the class very reassuring: “No need to be worried, kids, IT TAKES ONLY A MOMENT!!”
- How is a normal probability distribution like a lion?
They both have a MEAN MEW.
- The Normal Curve in its critique
Is beautifully symmetrical and sleek.
Sometimes it is skinny and tall
Other times fat and real small.
But with it the data will always speak.
- Did you hear about: the statistician who was looking all over for the sum of eigenvalues from a variance- covariance matrix but couldn’t find a trace?
- Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably….
Hilarity.
Sources:
http://www.tealdragon.net/humor/lists/statmves.htm
http://my.ilstu.edu/~gcramsey/Gallery.html
Welcome to “Random Crapatorium Stupid Stuff Central”
The sequential flow of this is dlfgaoghgfh.
- I discovered today that I can imitate Barney Rubble perfectly. Please don’t ask how I found that out.
- I get depressed when I don’t do enough statistics.
- I wish I had some modicum of intelligence to me. I mean seriously. I’m dumb. Dumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumb.
- People who spam Facebook with their inane drabble really bother me. Shut up, people, that’s what a blog is for.
- Speaking of inane drabble, I may have mentioned on here that I’m planning on blogging daily until I reach my 10,000th post. That will occur on September 15, 2033. 21 years, 2 months, and 7 days from now (total = 27 years, 4 months, 15 days). If my yearly word count will remain stable (average for last six years = 103,245), I’ll have a total word count of about 2,830,000 words. That doesn’t sound like much, actually. But 10,000 posts does. Bring it on.
- I had a dream about English parts of speech the other night. It was short and kind of cool. MAYBE A FLASH?!?
- Excitement + fear + future + being a failure = my life right now.
- I was feeling okay most of today. Now I’m depressed as all hell.
- Edit: Okay, nevermind.
Even though you’re expecting it from the title, it’s still so ridiculously perfect it’ll make you laugh. Made me laugh, at least.
Blog done.
I was having a super crappy night.
And then I found this.
Better than Lethargic Bieber? You decide!
I also went digging through all my old saved files and found all my angsty poetry latherings of yore. They’re hilarious.
I am dark.
I am a spark.
I am the turn.
I am the burn.
I am the fork in the road.
I am the wind’s sorry ode.
I am hell in a shrouded form.
I am the thing that howls in the morn.
I am philosophy.
I am prophecy.
I am tomorrow.
I am today.
I am sorrow.
I am Gray.
SO DEEP, MAN. I also just realized I haven’t written a poem since “Seuss on the Loose.” That’s probably a good thing.
HEY BLOG TITLE! STOP SHOUTING AT ME!
(Edit: haha, sorry guys, here’s another one that slipped through the radar during one of my mass postings.)
Oh man. This guy reminds me so much of Ebeeto (Yogi Bear, anyone?). So again, if excessive curing offends you, don’t watch.
Is it sad that my internal dialogue is practically just like this?
The Panther, the Wizard, and the Laundry Chute
For all of you who enjoy my stats-related posts, here are some of my dumb cartoons. Yes, I know they suck. Yes, I know I can’t draw/Photoshop/be funny. Oh well. Click to enlarge.
(Source for original scale pic)
Pythagoras, NOOOO!
This is the worst cartoon ever made.
Busy spazzing, BRB
In the meantime, a silly vid:
Most accurate tourism rundown of Vancouver I’ve ever heard. The foot comment rendered much guffawing.
Damn you, David E. Kelly
Chicago Hope + Boston Legal = no sleep and much laughter.
And I have just discovered Gabriel Iglesies. He’s cool.
and
So wrong, but his impressions make it really funny.
Also, thanks to my NaNo, I now know more about presidential hairstyles and hair in general than anyone should.
To Sean and Megan:
(If either of you ever come across this)
Here’s a fake album cover for the fake band Quantum Rapture that we created in the car.
Yay.
Anyway.
Presidential Pickup Lines. These are like the best things ever. Favorites:
I made the mistake of drinking water while coming across this one. My water shot out of my nose.
Joyous day.
Oh yes.
My RAB intuition was telling me the next installment was due soon. Sure enough…
Out of Africa (fresh shipment of Africa due in tomorrow)
Neeeeeew header! I’m not sure if I like it, though. I can’t tell if it goes well with the background/color scheme of my blog overall or if there’s something slightly off about it.
Meh.
I’m not feeling too great today, so instead of a science blog you get this:
I may have already posted this in the past but what’re you gonna do, eh? It’s funny. And we all remember Tiddy Bear.
And this one, too.
Vroomtacular
I wonder how aware Jim Davis is of the multitude of Garfield parody sites there are in the vast expanse of the internet?
http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/
http://www.dougshaw.com/garfield.html
http://www.mezzacotta.net/garfield/
Among many others.
The Square Root of Minus Garfield (the last one listed) is particularly fantastic. It’s like xkcd meets Garfield Minus Garfield.
Woo!
Do physical comedians suffer from post-dramatic jest disorder?
Today was one of those “I have not the mental energy to pretend to be happy/get to the bus/care/get out of bed” days. It was just…ugh, it was a bad day.
But then I went to cracked.com and read these and I was freaking laughing for about half an hour.
So if you have a bad day today (or any other day), be sure to check these out.
That is all, I’m going to go curl up and die somewhere.
Today’s song: Remind Me (Someone Else’s Radio Remix) by Royksopp
Eigenblogger 