Tag Archives: shamwow

Out of Africa (fresh shipment of Africa due in tomorrow)

Neeeeeew header! I’m not sure if I like it, though. I can’t tell if it goes well with the background/color scheme of my blog overall or if there’s something slightly off about it.

Meh.

I’m not feeling too great today, so instead of a science blog you get this:

I may have already posted this in the past but what’re you gonna do, eh? It’s funny. And we all remember Tiddy Bear.

 

And this one, too.

 

In this blog: I attempt to sell a ShamWow to Superman

Via omegle.com.

 

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Do you own a ShamWow?
Stranger: nope
You: You need one
You: They’ll cure all your ailments
Stranger: really i’m superman
You: You can stop a train, but can you stop a ShamWow?
You: It holds 50,000 times its own weight in crime!

[like five minutes pass]

You: …Superman?
Stranger: yeah
You: Are you on the phone buying a ShamWow?
You: Or I guess you could just run to the factory
You: It’d take like two seconds, right?
Stranger: u r wrong
Stranger: it just needs one second
You: Wow, very fast
You: You could use a ShamWow to clean your shoes after you run so far
You: Or do you fly? I forget
Stranger: of course i fly
You: Then you could use ShamWow as a supplementary cape
Stranger: come on buddy
Stranger: i don’t think i need that stuff
You: EVERYBODY needs a ShamWow!
You: Superheroes need to keep their kitchens super clean!
Stranger: do Superheroes need kitchen?
You: I don’t know if you need one, but do you have one?
Stranger: i prefer fast food
You: And Krypto the Wonder Dog, he needs to be dried after he’s out in the rain
You: It’s made in Germany
You: Krypton-free
Stranger: man u r incrediable!!!
You: Batman’s got a ShamWow, Wonder Woman’s got a ShamWow…jump on the bandwagon, S-man!
Stranger: wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
You: See that? That’s exactly what you’re going to be saying every time!
You: But wait! Act now and we’ll throw in a second ShamWow ABSOLUTELY FREE for Clark Kent!
You: You got that ShamWow yet, Superman?
You: We’re counting on you!
Stranger: sorry for that, i have to go back to Mars. and thx for nice ads
You: Hahaha, no problem
You: Don’t forget a Slap Chop!
Stranger: yeah i won’t
Stranger: take care and wish u luck
You: Thanks, Superman!
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Billy Mays, NOOO!

But, as I was saying to Matt: “HI, BILLY MAYS’ GHOST HERE FOR GHOSTBUSTERS…”
And I know that Billy Mays and Vince were fighting over the kingdom of infomercial land, but this is by the same guy who did the ShamWow! parody awhile back.

 

“Quit throwin’ your money away, what the FUCK are you DOING?!?!”

So over the top.

I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANSISCO OH SHI—*collapses*

Haha, oh man, this is great. If you’ve ever seen the ShamWow! commercials, you will love this.

“Sham-fuckin’-wow.”