Category Archives: Food


That is all.


I am in a mood™

Dinner: a handful of shredded cheese

Regrets: none


Woah, this is super satisfying and calming.

Pasta La Vista

Here is a visual representation of how badly I want carbs right now:


Who wants some more RECIPES?!?!?!?!?

You probably don’t since I just posted one of these like two weeks ago, but hell, you’re gonna get some. Deal with it.

There will be more. There’s always more.

Heckin’ Bork

I don’t have anything to blog about.

So you know what that means…



More recipes because I HAVE A PROBLEM

And that problem’s name is Foodgawker.


I just had like 30 Jolly Ranchers and OH MY GOD AM I HYPER so here we go

I freaking love Jolly Ranchers, bro. But only the green apple ones. The rest can go suck it. Especially the grape ones.
(Grape-flavored candy in general is terrible.)

Jolly Ranchers remind me of my dad’s old condo. Back in 7th grade I’d walk there after school, go upstairs to the computer, and eat Jolly Ranchers while I acted like 2001’s Biggest Troll in the Yahoo! chatrooms.

Fun times.

Why are they called “Jolly Ranchers” anyway?


“Bill Harmsen founded the Jolly Rancher Company in 1949 with the goal of having a name that seemed friendly and welcoming to customers.

Makes sense. I guess “Angry Cattleman” wouldn’t sound as appealing.

“Jolly ranchers are amorphous solids, meaning their molecular arrangements have no specific pattern. They are hard, brittle, rigid, transparent and have low molecular mobility.”

Your MOM has low molecular mobility.


“Jolly Ranchers are manufactured by creating a solution of corn syrup, sucrose, glucose, or fructose syrup that is boiled to a temperature of 160 °C and cooled to create a supersaturated mixture that is roughly 2.5 percent water. As the mixture is cooled, natural and artificial flavoring, artificial colors (red 40, blue 1, yellow 5, yellow 6.specific) is added to individual batches of syrup solution which is later mixed with malic acid to improve shelf life and add further flavor. Once the mixture begins to cool it is then extruded into long malleable strings that are cut to size and individually wrapped and packaged”

Recipe translation: sugar, other sugar, that sugar, this sugar, Sugar Ray, more sugar. Add heat. Add rainbow poison. Poop ‘em out, wrap ‘em up, sell.



…and now I don’t remember what I was originally going to blog about.


*sprints around the house*

*hates self*

You want more recipes? YOU KNOW YOU DO


I’m addicted to FoodGawker, sorry.

Master Recipe List


So I’ve been really into posting links to recipes over the past year or so, right? Well, last night I decided to just make a giant Word document containing the ingredients/instructions for my favorite of said posted recipes, just in case they ever get taken down.

I shall share this document with you here!

Recipe Master List

The original sources for the recipes are linked, and the pictures belong to the corresponding sources. Recipes that do not have sources (or pictures) are recipes I learned from my mom.



Do y’all want some more recipes?


(I’m ignoring the crappy parts of my life by using the internet. Is it working?)
(I also don’t know how many of these I’ve previously posted on here, so apologies in advance for any duplicates.)

Garlic Cheese Bombs

One Pan Roasted Chicken and Veggies

Perfect Steakhouse Baked Potato

Peanut Butter, Banana, and Chocolate Chip Cake

Buttermilk Biscuits

Cheesy Garlic Knots

Light and Easy Green Beans with Eggs



[Note: in case you haven’t noticed, all my posts are throw-away posts. I just happen to acknowledge it on occasion.]


Baked Macaroni and Cheese

Veggie Pasta Salad

A Rustic Seeded Loaf

Ravioli with Creamy Mushroom and Spinach Sauce

Mushrooms in Butter Sauce over Egg Noodles

Roasted Cauliflower and Mushroom Pasta


Foods for Doods

Have some recipes, yo.

Cauliflower Tortillas

Easy Pasta with Olive Oil and Garlic (super simple, but it looks good)

One Pan Garlic Parmesan Pasta (I’ve posted this before, but it’s something Nate and I make every month or so and it’s REALLY FREAKING GOOD.)

Healthy Breakfast Loaf (I know I’ve posted this before, too, but the site that had it got taken down, so it needs to be posted again.)

Low-Carb Zucchini Pasta (my mom made this for us when I found the recipe, and it’s good!)

Broccoli Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo

Monster Cookie Dough Dip (OH MY GOD)

Beef and Broccoli Chow Mac

Zoodles Cacio e Pepe


In This Blog: Claudia Food

I haven’t made one of my salads in quite some time, but I made one tonight and it tasted freaking awesome. I’ll have to make them more often.

image (2)

SO MUCH VEGGIE. How good does that look? Recipe here.



I like looking at recipes, even though the vast majority of them contain way too many ingredients for my taste and are probably not something I would enjoy. Every once and awhile, though, I find some that sound good.

Foolproof Flaky Biscuits

Scrambled Eggs

Creamy Mushroom Tortellini

Sweet Poppy Seed Pasta
I don’t know about the sweetness aspect, but this looks really freaking pretty. Do poppy seeds taste sweet on their own?

Easter Zoodles
Leave out a few things and this looks really good. I have one of those veggie spirallers, too!

DONE! Sorry, I’m super busy.

Edit: have some more that I’ve found in the past few weeks, since this is an older post:

Skillet Bacon and Broccoli Mac and Cheese

One Pot Three Cheese Pasta

Creamy Mushroom Fettuccine

Creamy Boursin Spring Pasta
Everything but the lemon zest looks good to me. Boursin is a type of cheese.

Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe
Basically spaghetti with cheese and pepper. I’ll take it.

Veggies + Math = YAY

It’s fractalicious!


Would a passionate speech about horology be considered a glockenspiel?

I think it would be super cool if someone came up with a cookbook in which all recipes were stupid reconfigurations of mathematicians’/statisticians’ names or mathematical objects.


  • Fibognocci
  • Tukey Sandwiches
  • Vennison
  • Bonferroni and Cheese
  • Putnaan (“Putnam” and “naan”…anyone?)*
  • Gabriel’s Corn
  • Mandelbratwurst
  • Fig Newto—OH WAIT

I’d buy a cookbook like that.


*Yes, I know Putnam wasn’t a mathematician himself, but he’s got that competition named after him, so yeah. It counts.

In my defense…

I bet I couldn’t taste like 70% of these.

100 Things You Should Eat Before You Die

“They” say most people have tried about 20 things. How many have you tried (I’d source the list but now I can’t remember where I got it, haha)?

My total: 12/100

1. Abalone
2. Absinthe
3. Alligator
4. Baba Ghanoush
5. Bagel and lox
6. Baklava
7. Barbecue ribs
8. Bellini
9. Bird’s Nest Soup
10. Biscuits and gravy
11. Black Pudding
12. Black Truffle
13. Borscht
14. Calamari
15. Carp
16. Caviar
17. Cheese fondue
18. Chicken and waffles
19. Chicken Tikka Masala
20. Chile Relleno
21. Chitterlings/Chitlins
22. Churros
23. Clam Chowder
24. Cognac
25. Crabcake
26. Crickets
27. Currywurst
28. Dandelion wine
29. Dulce de leche
30. Durian
31. Eel
32. Eggs benedict
33. Fish Tacos
34. Foie Gras
35. Fresh Spring Rolls
36. Fried Catfish
37. Fried Green Tomatoes
38. Fried Plaintain
39. Frito Pie
40. Frog’s Legs
41. Fugu
42. Funnel Cake
43. Gazpacho
44. Goat
45. Goat’s milk
46. Goulash
47. Gumbo
48. Haggis
49. Head Cheese
50. Heirloom Tomatoes
51. Honeycomb (does the cereal count?)
52. Hostess Fruit Pie
53. Huevos Rancheros
54. Jerk Chicken
55. Kangaroo
56. Key Lime Pie
57. Kobe Beef
58. Lassi
59. Lobster
60. Mimosa
61. MoonPie
62. Morel Mushrooms
63. Nettle Tea
64. Octopus
65. Oxtail Soup
66. Paella
67. Paneer
68. Pastrami on Rye
69. Pavlova
70. Phaal
71. Philly Cheesesteak
72. Pho
73. Pineapple and cottage cheese
74. Pistachio Ice Cream
75. Po’ boy
76. Pocky (WOOOOO POCKY)
77. Polenta
78. Prickly Pear
79. Rabbit Stew\
80. Raw Oysters
81. Root Beer Float
82. S’mores
83. Sauerkraut
84. Sea Urchin
85. Shark
86. Snail
87. Snake
88. Soft Shell Crab
89. Som Tam
90. Spaetzle
91. Spam
92. Squirrel
93. Steak Tartare
94. Sweet Potato Fries
95. Sweetbreads
96. Tom Yum
97. Umeboshi
98. Venison
99. Wasabi Peas
100. Zucchini Flowers

Is a gluon that’s not completely dry simply a tachyon?

So unless I’m hallucinating (it’s like 5 in the morning and I had Red Bull), the University of Arizona nursing department’s looking for a stats instructor to develop/lead an online intro stats course.


I’m totally going to apply. That would be a super awesome job. I think I’d be good at teaching stats just because I’m so obsessive about them and I really like to explain them to people.


In the meantime, here are some of my favorite internet-found recipes, ‘cause for some reason I really feel like cooking at 5 AM.

  • Eggplant Hummus – based on Trader Joe’s BADASS eggplant hummus. Best hummus ever.
  • German Chocolate Cake – My grandma used to make me this for my birthday. It freaking rocks.
  • Green Monster Muffins – Spinach muffins? Rock on! These are really good.
  • Peanut Butter Blondies – Also known as “these will kill anyone allergic to peanuts if they’re even in the same room.”
  • Poppy Seed Loaf (run this through a translator) – Safeway used to sell these all the time, but now they only sell the muffins. Poppy seed-saturated sweet bread is best in loaf form.
  • Potato Sour Cream Biscuits – Pretty much everything Noble Pig has posted is amazing, so check out the blog.
  • Rolled Spinach Omelet – Made this for my mom and she loved it.