HELLO, FOOL MACHINES!
So I’ve been really into posting links to recipes over the past year or so, right? Well, last night I decided to just make a giant Word document containing the ingredients/instructions for my favorite of said posted recipes, just in case they ever get taken down.
I shall share this document with you here!
The original sources for the recipes are linked, and the pictures belong to the corresponding sources. Recipes that do not have sources (or pictures) are recipes I learned from my mom.
Do y’all want some more recipes?
OF COURSE YOU DO!
(I’m ignoring the crappy parts of my life by using the internet. Is it working?)
(I also don’t know how many of these I’ve previously posted on here, so apologies in advance for any duplicates.)
SO I’M STILL RIDING ON THE HIGH FROM YESTERDAY SO YOU GET A THROW-AWAY POST
[Note: in case you haven’t noticed, all my posts are throw-away posts. I just happen to acknowledge it on occasion.]
RECIPES 4 U!
Have some recipes, yo.
Easy Pasta with Olive Oil and Garlic (super simple, but it looks good)
One Pan Garlic Parmesan Pasta (I’ve posted this before, but it’s something Nate and I make every month or so and it’s REALLY FREAKING GOOD.)
Healthy Breakfast Loaf (I know I’ve posted this before, too, but the site that had it got taken down, so it needs to be posted again.)
Low-Carb Zucchini Pasta (my mom made this for us when I found the recipe, and it’s good!)
Monster Cookie Dough Dip (OH MY GOD)
I haven’t made one of my salads in quite some time, but I made one tonight and it tasted freaking awesome. I’ll have to make them more often.
SO MUCH VEGGIE. How good does that look? Recipe here.
I like looking at recipes, even though the vast majority of them contain way too many ingredients for my taste and are probably not something I would enjoy. Every once and awhile, though, I find some that sound good.
Sweet Poppy Seed Pasta
I don’t know about the sweetness aspect, but this looks really freaking pretty. Do poppy seeds taste sweet on their own?
Leave out a few things and this looks really good. I have one of those veggie spirallers, too!
DONE! Sorry, I’m super busy.
Edit: have some more that I’ve found in the past few weeks, since this is an older post:
Creamy Boursin Spring Pasta
Everything but the lemon zest looks good to me. Boursin is a type of cheese.
Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe
Basically spaghetti with cheese and pepper. I’ll take it.
I think it would be super cool if someone came up with a cookbook in which all recipes were stupid reconfigurations of mathematicians’/statisticians’ names or mathematical objects.
- Tukey Sandwiches
- Bonferroni and Cheese
- Putnaan (“Putnam” and “naan”…anyone?)*
- Gabriel’s Corn
- Fig Newto—OH WAIT
I’d buy a cookbook like that.
*Yes, I know Putnam wasn’t a mathematician himself, but he’s got that competition named after him, so yeah. It counts.
I bet I couldn’t taste like 70% of these.
100 Things You Should Eat Before You Die
“They” say most people have tried about 20 things. How many have you tried (I’d source the list but now I can’t remember where I got it, haha)?
My total: 12/100
4. Baba Ghanoush
5. Bagel and lox
7. Barbecue ribs
9. Bird’s Nest Soup
10. Biscuits and gravy
11. Black Pudding
12. Black Truffle
17. Cheese fondue
18. Chicken and waffles
19. Chicken Tikka Masala
20. Chile Relleno
23. Clam Chowder
28. Dandelion wine
29. Dulce de leche
32. Eggs benedict
33. Fish Tacos
34. Foie Gras
35. Fresh Spring Rolls
36. Fried Catfish
37. Fried Green Tomatoes
38. Fried Plaintain
39. Frito Pie
40. Frog’s Legs
42. Funnel Cake
45. Goat’s milk
49. Head Cheese
50. Heirloom Tomatoes
51. Honeycomb (does the cereal count?)
52. Hostess Fruit Pie
53. Huevos Rancheros
54. Jerk Chicken
56. Key Lime Pie
57. Kobe Beef
62. Morel Mushrooms
63. Nettle Tea
65. Oxtail Soup
68. Pastrami on Rye
71. Philly Cheesesteak
73. Pineapple and cottage cheese
74. Pistachio Ice Cream
75. Po’ boy
76. Pocky (WOOOOO POCKY)
78. Prickly Pear
79. Rabbit Stew\
80. Raw Oysters
81. Root Beer Float
84. Sea Urchin
88. Soft Shell Crab
89. Som Tam
93. Steak Tartare
94. Sweet Potato Fries
96. Tom Yum
99. Wasabi Peas
100. Zucchini Flowers
So unless I’m hallucinating (it’s like 5 in the morning and I had Red Bull), the University of Arizona nursing department’s looking for a stats instructor to develop/lead an online intro stats course.
I’m totally going to apply. That would be a super awesome job. I think I’d be good at teaching stats just because I’m so obsessive about them and I really like to explain them to people.
In the meantime, here are some of my favorite internet-found recipes, ‘cause for some reason I really feel like cooking at 5 AM.
- Eggplant Hummus – based on Trader Joe’s BADASS eggplant hummus. Best hummus ever.
- German Chocolate Cake – My grandma used to make me this for my birthday. It freaking rocks.
- Green Monster Muffins – Spinach muffins? Rock on! These are really good.
- Peanut Butter Blondies – Also known as “these will kill anyone allergic to peanuts if they’re even in the same room.”
- Poppy Seed Loaf (run this through a translator) – Safeway used to sell these all the time, but now they only sell the muffins. Poppy seed-saturated sweet bread is best in loaf form.
- Potato Sour Cream Biscuits – Pretty much everything Noble Pig has posted is amazing, so check out the blog.
- Rolled Spinach Omelet – Made this for my mom and she loved it.
New header! I cannot be stopped.
Also: I had a dream last night about a guy named Sam Serif. He was a sheriff. Even in my unconscious brain, man. Even in my unconscious brain.
Also also: here’s some food porn. Because yay.
I don’t know if it’s the case in the States, but McDonald’s Canada is starting up their annual (I think?) Monopoly game tomorrow. My mom and I always used the Monopoly game as an excuse to get McDonald’s fries, ‘cause we all know they make the best fast food French fries in the world (apart from maybe Cougar Country).
Anyway, intrigue regarding the history of McDonald’s Monopoly led me to Wiki, which led me to reading about the company. Whether you consider the corporation evil or not, it really does have an interesting history and interesting facts surrounding it.
- The business began in 1940 and “McDonald’s” was up for trademark status in 1961.
- There are McDonald’s in 119 countries and territories, serving 58 million people daily and employing 1.5+ million people (I would think it would be more than that).
- Nearly 1 in 8 people in the United States have been employed by McDonald’s at some point.
- Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary added the word “McJob” in 2003. It was defined as “a low-paying job that requires little skill and provides little opportunity for advancement.” Obviously, McDonald’s was rather ticked off about this definition.
- In countries/markets unfamiliar with Imperial measurements, the Quarter Pounder is known as the Royal Cheese or McRoyale (or a similar variant).
- Beer is sold at restaurants in France, Belgium, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Romania, Lithuania, Czech Republic, Italy and Slovenia.
- The McChicken is the next big seller after the Big Mac.
- While some countries sell Egg McMuffins around the clock, the product is restricted to the breakfast menu. This is mainly due to the fact that the grill temperature for the burgers is significantly different than that for the eggs.
Interesting stuff, eh?
Today I found an awesome link that pinpoints the most unusual restaurants in the world. Check it out here.
One of the restaurants is here in London—Garlics of London, where, fittingly, everything is made with garlic (including the ice cream). I should go, even though I can’t taste garlic.
Ooh, and in Toronto: Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament. We went to a Medieval Times down near Disneyland when my high school band went for the Magic Music Days in 2004. It was awesome.
Woah, hey, guess what?
Apparently Ben Cohen of Ben & Jerry’s fame has no sense of smell.
I was unaware of this.
According to the article (forgive me for not referencing it with a link; I copied the text into a Word document but didn’t bookmark the page and now can’t find it in the vastness of the Tubes), “when the company began back in 1978, Jerry would make a flavor and see if it tasted good enough for Ben to notice. Ben also relies heavily on his sense of touch to enjoy food. That is why Ben & Jerry’s is well known for its distinctly chunky ice cream. The chunks of fruit and candy mixed in with the creamy ice cream is designed to provide an enjoyable sensation in your mouth even if you have trouble tasting it.”
Haha, that’s funny…I’ve always liked Ben & Jerry’s best because their ice cream is full of thingies.
OH YEAH, I totally forgot to mention this yesterday: I found a place up here that’s freakishly similar to Moscow’s Mongolian BBQ. Not too surprising given the eclectic mosh of cultures in Vancouver, but still. I was excited.
It’s called the Great Han Mongolian BBQ, and within it has the same idea as Moscow’s BBQ. Find a seat, get a bowl, accumulate veggies, meat, noodles, and sauce, and let the chef cook it on the round hot grill.
The noodles are totally different and have a weird texture, but they’re actually really good.
Anyway. Just a recommendation of a place to acquire tasty BBQ if you’re ever in Vancouver.
Also, some nostalgia for you all:
I distinctly remember exchanging many an unintelligible “Aaron Burr!” with my friends in elementary school after we’d all seen this commercial. Fun times.
Holy freaking crap: http://modernistcuisine.com/
“Modernist Cuisine is a six-volume, 2,438-page set that is destined to reinvent cooking. The lavishly illustrated books use thousands of original images to make the science and technolgy clear and engaging.”
This is like food science on crack.
Anybody who knows me knows I’ve been into cooking as of late, and this humongous wealth of knowledge is quite enticing. The photographs look amazing…I was reading a bit about one picture featuring a cross-sectioned action shot of noodles being stir-fried in a wok.
The article was saying how there was no Photoshop involved and that the photographer actually had to capture the flying noodles as they were stirred in the half-wok. Pretty badass.
Too bad the set of six volumes costs $600, or these would be mine.
Here are the FAQs from the site in case you missed them.
Very interesting indeed.
Seriously. I have a history with them. Back in 8th grade or so I practically subsisted off of them and as a result my fingers and toes literally turned orange (beta carotene, bitches!).
Today I calculated that I consume over 40,000 IUs of vitamin A daily (like 4 times the amount you’re supposed to have) due mostly to carrots (and partially to broccoli and various other veggies).
I clearly have issues.
So I have recently acquired a wok and have decided to try out stir fry. My first attempt was pretty damn good, and even though I’m probably doing it all wrong, I decided to share it (mainly ‘cause I took a pretty picture, haha).
You will need:
- Some sort of uncooked egg noodle – 100 grams or a bowl filled with uncooked noodles. The noodles will compress once they’re cooked, so don’t worry about fitting them plus the veggies in a bowl once you’re done.
- Broccoli – 35 grams of small stalks with florets or a about half a cupful
- Carrots – 2 ounces julienned or about a half a cupful
- Red pepper – 1 ounce cut into cubes or however you prefer (about a loose handful)
- White or yellow onion – 20 grams sliced or cubed (enough to fill your palm)
- Mushrooms – 15 grams sliced, or about a small handful
- Canola oil (or some sort of equivalent—whatever oil you like that’s good for high heat) – 2 teaspoons
- Stir fry sauce (again, your choice) – about 3 tablespoons
It’s best to get all your slicing/combining/other cooking done before you actually start the stir fry, so do all this before you even turn on the heat beneath your wok.
Combine broccoli, carrots, pepper, onion, and mushrooms into a microwave-safe container, add about three tablespoons of water, and microwave on high for about 1:45 or 2:00, depending on how thick you’ve kept your broccoli stalks. While this is microwaving, put a pot of water on the stove and get the water boiling. Also, go ahead and put a tablespoon of stir fry sauce and the two teaspoons of canola oil into the frying pan/wok and mix it up for later.
Drain the water from the veggie mix and set aside. Once your water starts boiling, cook your noodles to the package instructions (the variety I use cook very quick and are done in less than a minute—don’t overcook or you’ll end up with squishy and that’s not very appealing). Once they’re done, drain the water and set aside. Start heating up your frying pan/wok. I get mine up to about a 5 or 6 on the oven knob, just until the sauce starts to bubble.
I know I’m going to get chastised for this, but I add all my veggies at once. Everything seems to be pretty uniformly cooked once I take them out of the microwave and they’re not going to be on the heat very long, so I don’t worry too much about different cooking times like I know you’re supposed to do. It all tastes fine in the end, in my opinion. If they’re sizzling like hell, though, you’re doing this part right. Stir them up with the sauce so that they’re all coated—this’ll take about a minute.
Make a well in the veggies and dump in your noodles. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of stir fry sauce atop the noodles and mix well with the veggies. I usually cook for another minute and a half to two minutes, just until things start sticking to the frying pan/wok. Turn off the heat and transfer everything to a bowl.
Yay! I think I’m getting better at this cheffing stuff.
Today’s song: Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine