That is all.
Dinner: a handful of shredded cheese
Woah, this is super satisfying and calming.
Here is a visual representation of how badly I want carbs right now:
I don’t have anything to blog about.
So you know what that means…
- Saturday Night Broccoli Pasta
- Roasted Potatoes, Carrots, Parsnips, and Brussels Sprouts
- Grilled Artichoke and Mushroom Lemon Pasta
- Cornbread Pancakes (!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE CORNBREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
- Homemade Tortillas
- Spaghetti with Olive Oil and Mizithra
I freaking love Jolly Ranchers, bro. But only the green apple ones. The rest can go suck it. Especially the grape ones.
(Grape-flavored candy in general is terrible.)
Jolly Ranchers remind me of my dad’s old condo. Back in 7th grade I’d walk there after school, go upstairs to the computer, and eat Jolly Ranchers while I acted like 2001’s Biggest Troll in the Yahoo! chatrooms.
Why are they called “Jolly Ranchers” anyway?
TO THE WIKI-MOBILE!
“Bill Harmsen founded the Jolly Rancher Company in 1949 with the goal of having a name that seemed friendly and welcoming to customers.
Makes sense. I guess “Angry Cattleman” wouldn’t sound as appealing.
“Jolly ranchers are amorphous solids, meaning their molecular arrangements have no specific pattern. They are hard, brittle, rigid, transparent and have low molecular mobility.”
Your MOM has low molecular mobility.
Also, I HAVE AN AMORPHOUS SOLID IN MY MOUTH
“Jolly Ranchers are manufactured by creating a solution of corn syrup, sucrose, glucose, or fructose syrup that is boiled to a temperature of 160 °C and cooled to create a supersaturated mixture that is roughly 2.5 percent water. As the mixture is cooled, natural and artificial flavoring, artificial colors (red 40, blue 1, yellow 5, yellow 6.specific) is added to individual batches of syrup solution which is later mixed with malic acid to improve shelf life and add further flavor. Once the mixture begins to cool it is then extruded into long malleable strings that are cut to size and individually wrapped and packaged”
Recipe translation: sugar, other sugar, that sugar, this sugar, Sugar Ray, more sugar. Add heat. Add rainbow poison. Poop ‘em out, wrap ‘em up, sell.
…and now I don’t remember what I was originally going to blog about.
*sprints around the house*
HELLO, FOOL MACHINES!
So I’ve been really into posting links to recipes over the past year or so, right? Well, last night I decided to just make a giant Word document containing the ingredients/instructions for my favorite of said posted recipes, just in case they ever get taken down.
I shall share this document with you here!
The original sources for the recipes are linked, and the pictures belong to the corresponding sources. Recipes that do not have sources (or pictures) are recipes I learned from my mom.
Do y’all want some more recipes?
OF COURSE YOU DO!
(I’m ignoring the crappy parts of my life by using the internet. Is it working?)
(I also don’t know how many of these I’ve previously posted on here, so apologies in advance for any duplicates.)
SO I’M STILL RIDING ON THE HIGH FROM YESTERDAY SO YOU GET A THROW-AWAY POST
[Note: in case you haven’t noticed, all my posts are throw-away posts. I just happen to acknowledge it on occasion.]
RECIPES 4 U!
Have some recipes, yo.
Easy Pasta with Olive Oil and Garlic (super simple, but it looks good)
One Pan Garlic Parmesan Pasta (I’ve posted this before, but it’s something Nate and I make every month or so and it’s REALLY FREAKING GOOD.)
Healthy Breakfast Loaf (I know I’ve posted this before, too, but the site that had it got taken down, so it needs to be posted again.)
Low-Carb Zucchini Pasta (my mom made this for us when I found the recipe, and it’s good!)
Monster Cookie Dough Dip (OH MY GOD)
I haven’t made one of my salads in quite some time, but I made one tonight and it tasted freaking awesome. I’ll have to make them more often.
SO MUCH VEGGIE. How good does that look? Recipe here.
I like looking at recipes, even though the vast majority of them contain way too many ingredients for my taste and are probably not something I would enjoy. Every once and awhile, though, I find some that sound good.
Sweet Poppy Seed Pasta
I don’t know about the sweetness aspect, but this looks really freaking pretty. Do poppy seeds taste sweet on their own?
Leave out a few things and this looks really good. I have one of those veggie spirallers, too!
DONE! Sorry, I’m super busy.
Edit: have some more that I’ve found in the past few weeks, since this is an older post:
Creamy Boursin Spring Pasta
Everything but the lemon zest looks good to me. Boursin is a type of cheese.
Spaghetti Cacio e Pepe
Basically spaghetti with cheese and pepper. I’ll take it.
I think it would be super cool if someone came up with a cookbook in which all recipes were stupid reconfigurations of mathematicians’/statisticians’ names or mathematical objects.
- Tukey Sandwiches
- Bonferroni and Cheese
- Putnaan (“Putnam” and “naan”…anyone?)*
- Gabriel’s Corn
- Fig Newto—OH WAIT
I’d buy a cookbook like that.
*Yes, I know Putnam wasn’t a mathematician himself, but he’s got that competition named after him, so yeah. It counts.
I bet I couldn’t taste like 70% of these.
100 Things You Should Eat Before You Die
“They” say most people have tried about 20 things. How many have you tried (I’d source the list but now I can’t remember where I got it, haha)?
My total: 12/100
4. Baba Ghanoush
5. Bagel and lox
7. Barbecue ribs
9. Bird’s Nest Soup
10. Biscuits and gravy
11. Black Pudding
12. Black Truffle
17. Cheese fondue
18. Chicken and waffles
19. Chicken Tikka Masala
20. Chile Relleno
23. Clam Chowder
28. Dandelion wine
29. Dulce de leche
32. Eggs benedict
33. Fish Tacos
34. Foie Gras
35. Fresh Spring Rolls
36. Fried Catfish
37. Fried Green Tomatoes
38. Fried Plaintain
39. Frito Pie
40. Frog’s Legs
42. Funnel Cake
45. Goat’s milk
49. Head Cheese
50. Heirloom Tomatoes
51. Honeycomb (does the cereal count?)
52. Hostess Fruit Pie
53. Huevos Rancheros
54. Jerk Chicken
56. Key Lime Pie
57. Kobe Beef
62. Morel Mushrooms
63. Nettle Tea
65. Oxtail Soup
68. Pastrami on Rye
71. Philly Cheesesteak
73. Pineapple and cottage cheese
74. Pistachio Ice Cream
75. Po’ boy
76. Pocky (WOOOOO POCKY)
78. Prickly Pear
79. Rabbit Stew\
80. Raw Oysters
81. Root Beer Float
84. Sea Urchin
88. Soft Shell Crab
89. Som Tam
93. Steak Tartare
94. Sweet Potato Fries
96. Tom Yum
99. Wasabi Peas
100. Zucchini Flowers
So unless I’m hallucinating (it’s like 5 in the morning and I had Red Bull), the University of Arizona nursing department’s looking for a stats instructor to develop/lead an online intro stats course.
I’m totally going to apply. That would be a super awesome job. I think I’d be good at teaching stats just because I’m so obsessive about them and I really like to explain them to people.
In the meantime, here are some of my favorite internet-found recipes, ‘cause for some reason I really feel like cooking at 5 AM.
- Eggplant Hummus – based on Trader Joe’s BADASS eggplant hummus. Best hummus ever.
- German Chocolate Cake – My grandma used to make me this for my birthday. It freaking rocks.
- Green Monster Muffins – Spinach muffins? Rock on! These are really good.
- Peanut Butter Blondies – Also known as “these will kill anyone allergic to peanuts if they’re even in the same room.”
- Poppy Seed Loaf (run this through a translator) – Safeway used to sell these all the time, but now they only sell the muffins. Poppy seed-saturated sweet bread is best in loaf form.
- Potato Sour Cream Biscuits – Pretty much everything Noble Pig has posted is amazing, so check out the blog.
- Rolled Spinach Omelet – Made this for my mom and she loved it.