It is November 20th today.
As you may or may not know (depending on how long you’ve followed my blog and/or how much attention you pay to past blogs), November 20th is the birthday of the person known as Lead.
Lead, for those of you who don’t know, is the nickname I use for the person that I had a massive, massive, massive crush on all throughout the end of elementary school, junior high, and high school (and it would have started earlier, I’m sure, except he didn’t come to Moscow until 5th grade).
I have long since ceased giving a single fart about this guy, but just the date “November 20th” brings him back into my memory because he was a serious part of my existence for about seven years of my teenage life.
Today, that also brings up something that I’ve come to realize about my mad obsession with this dude that I’ve never really shared. This is a realization I made a long while ago—like, 8th grade, maybe—but was one I kind of kept inside hoping that it wasn’t true, because that truth was more pathetic than frantically stalking a dude for the sake of true love.
(At least, that’s what my 14-year-old brain convinced me of).
This realization? I wasn’t obsessed with Lead because I was in love with him or was soul mates with him or any of that lovey nonsense. I was obsessed with him because I wanted to be him. He was everything I wish I was, especially in junior high and high school when I was so painfully apathetic about, well, pretty much everything but Lead.
The guy was popular. The guy was good-looking. The guy was athletic. And most of all? The guy was smart.
Like… S M A R T.
I don’t know if he actually had a genius-level IQ, but I’m 99% convinced of it. Super smart. He put everyone else at that garbage bag of a school to shame with what he could do with his mental prowess and how easily he seemed to do it. He got a full ride scholarship to some school in Montana after he graduated, but I’m sure if he didn’t take that he could have easily gone to MIT or Harvard or Oxford or something like that. And he would have blown those fuckers away at those schools.
That’s what I wanted. I wanted to be that smart. I probably could have faked my way through high school a lot better if I’d given a crap (I think my cumulative GPA at the end was like a 3.5), but it would have taken work. I would not have been able to do it with the ease he seemed to do everything.*
This is the Amateur Hour psych student in me, but I think I hid my jealousy of him with admiration. I thought, “hey, if I can’t be this guy, maybe I can get him to like me. If he likes me, that means I’m good enough to at least be liked by a dude of this caliber. So let’s do that!”
Anyway. I know, I know, stupid shit. But I figured I’d mention it now that I’m so far removed from him that I don’t even think we’re Facebook friends anymore. Or at least, I’m no longer obsessively checking his Facebook like I used to. Haha.
*Yes, I know I might be wrong about this. He made it look like it was easy for him. Maybe it wasn’t. But goddamn, he sure made a convincing argument that getting through school was as easy for him as slicing butter with a hot knife.
HEY GUESS WHAT
Nate and I are celebrating our one-year anniversary today! We went back to the Best Western we got married at and spent the night in one of their nicest rooms.
I love him so much. I love him just as much as I did when we got married (or even more, if that’s even possible). I hope this is the first out of many, many anniversaries for us.
Do you want to know what my wonderful husband did for our anniversary? He wrote a bunch of things he loves about me or things he loves doing with me on these little strips of paper, then hid them all over the house for me to find. It was supposed to be a thing where I discover them slowly over time, but we both wanted me to find all of them as quickly as possible, haha, so that’s what I’ve been doing.
I love this man so much, you have no idea.
Holy crap, Nate and I have been married for six months today!
I know that’s nowhere near a “long time,” but for someone who never thought they’d get married because they never thought they could meet someone who they could completely accept and could feel completely comfortable around, six months is a long time.
I hope it’s the start of a very, very long marriage.
I love you, Nate.
So today marks two years since Nate and I met in person, and do you want to know what he did?
These ran all the way up the stairs to our condo (we’re the only ones that use that set of stairs) to a note on the door saying how happy he was that we were together and how he wanted to be with me for the rest of my life.
Do I have an amazing husband or what?
I have no idea what I did to deserve him, but I’m so glad to have him.
Y’all. Nate and I are so happy together.
We had a really good breakfast at our super fancy hotel this morning, then finally made it back home. Then we went out and caught Pokemon together, because that’s what newlyweds do, right?
I love this man. I love him, I love him, I love him.
I can’t believe I’m engaged, guys. I really can’t. I never thought that would be something that would ever happen to me. It still doesn’t seem real.
Sorry, I’ve just been thinking about this a lot for the past few days (can you blame me?) and it still doesn’t seem like it’s actually a thing that’s happened.
I’m super excited and so very, very lucky.
Nate and I are engaged now. :)
It was definitely not expected…at least by me, at least at the beginning of the day. The weather today was garbage, so we decided to drive up to Cross Iron Mills (a mall just to the north of Calgary, and where we had our second date!) and walk around it several times to get our mileage for the day. It’s a big mall.
We did a couple loops and then Nate (probably prompted by the like 10 jewelry stores in that mall) kind of casually asks, “So if I were to ever get a ring for you, what kind would you like?” And I of course get a little flustered, ‘cause we’d talked about the fact that we wanted to get married at some point.
So I say something like, “alkfdjavgaifhnioefdhfakjdhalkefh” (gibberish, ‘cause that’s how I talk), and we keep walking around the mall. We stop at the big bookstore there, where we hung out for a good hour on our first date, and went into one of the rows of books to look around.
Then I say something like, “You know, if you were to ask me to marry you, you know what my answer would be.”
And then he asks me, right there, very nicely, if I would marry him.
And you all know what my answer was.
We walked around the mall a bit more (we needed miles!), then stopped at one of the jewelry stores and he got me a ring.
Super pretty! Sorry for crappy image quality.
Then we went to see The Force Awakens, haha.
Today marks one year since Nate and I have “officially” been together (that is, it’s been one year since our second date and since we decided we were actually factually dating).
That’s pretty damn exciting. The longest relationship I’ve had prior to this has been about 8 months, and I’ve never had a relationship that felt so stable and happy and full of trust and love.
Here’s hoping this is the first of many, many, many years together! I love you, Nate.
I am ridiculously in love.
That is all.
YAY, today was fun. :)
Nate and I went on a 16-mile walk, stopped to get poutine and candy, hung out at Chinook Centre, made some super awesome pasta once we got home, and watched The Avengers.
Pretty damn good Valentine’s Day if you ask me.
Yay, today was fun! Nate and I went to the Calgary Tower and then to an indoor botanical garden/mall that was tucked away within the depths of downtown. It was super cool. Have some grainy iPod Calgary Tower pics, because I suck at remembering to bring my actual camera and also suck at taking good pictures in general.
Nate’s feet, my feet, and the ground far below us:
So much flatter than Moscow, haha:
It never even occurred to me to take a picture of us (not just our feet) in the Tower as well, but I’m the worst photographer ever, so what’re ya gonna do.
Nate and I are going to CrossIron Mills this afternoon. From what he’s told me, it’s this huge, elaborate mall just outside of the main city.
My tiny little dilemma, though, is this: should I count it as one of my “Canadian Mall” installments? I mean, technically I’m not walking to it, which is the whole reason for my “Canadian Mall” series in the first place, but I looked at its location on Google Maps and I’m pretty sure there’s no way I could ever actually get there on foot. It’s a ways outside of the city, and given Calgary’s mercurial attitude toward sidewalks, there’s probably not a walkable path (also, I think the only way to legitimately get there is on the highway).
BUT ANYWAY. Fun weekend ahead! I’m excited.