• The City of Calgary doesn’t need street sweepers. All they need is to have me walk around in the road and I’ll collect all the dust. Seriously, my feet/ankles/legs get ridiculously dusty on my walks.
• In related news: My second toe on my left foot has morphed into a permanent callus. There’s no toe there anymore. Just callus.
• I AM A KAZOO!
• I am also really nervous about getting my grade back for the test I took on Thursday. Kazoos don’t do well on tests.
• OH MY GOD
• I haven’t had a migraine in a while. I hope my saying that doesn’t trigger one!
• Have a picture I took a while ago of clouds over Calgary.

THE END!

• Nate has turned me into a Mets fan. I’ve always had a soft spot for baseball (it’s practically the only sport I enjoy watching) because the sounds of a game really remind me of my childhood because my mom ALWAYS used to have the Braves games on when we lived in Troy. It’s nice to be able to watch baseball again. Go Mets!
• I still like these Blackberry Passport phones. They’re funky-shaped. It may even win out over an iPhone if I ever get a smart phone.

• (I’ll probably never get a smart phone.)
• If Alaska is “home of the midnight sun,” I think Antarctica should be called the “home of the noon moon.”
• If I ever become a supervillain (hey, you never know if grad school will work out or not), I want my name to be Phantom Sun. Though I guess Sean already decided back in 2008 that my supervillain name was Spectrum, so never mind.
• Cornbread with whole kernels of corn in them are a goddamn culinary abomination. I came here to eat the BREAD part of “cornbread”, not the CORN part.
• (I haven’t had cornbread in forever.)
• Read about the concept of “almost surely” in math/stats. It’s pretty wild.

I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY!

Because I already have more bullet-point-worthy nonsense to say.

• For some reason, I form an instant kinship with anyone who wears the same brand of shoes as me, even if I don’t know the person at all. I want to run up to them and say, “hey, did you know you could feasibly walk 1,400 miles in those shoes?”
• I downloaded this song last month, but it’s freaking beautiful and worth a mention. Thanks to Nate for showing it to me!
• I have a sudden urge to play Zeppelins: Giants of the Sky, but it doesn’t run on anything later than Windows XP. That game was awesome.
• One of these days, I’m going to continue editing Prime. One of these days.
• I really need a new desktop computer. My laptop is great, don’t get me wrong; it’s just that once I start doing mega simulations in R for my thesis, I’ll want to use a desktop for that.
• Confession: I haven’t watched a single one of Achievement Hunter’s new videos since Ray left. I still love all the guys (and I’m sure new guys are hilarious, too), but it’s just not the same without Ray. I’m definitely going to keep watching the older videos, though. Over and over and over and over, haha.
• You may have noticed I have ceased my Canadian Mall posts. That’s because I ran out of malls.

I HAD FEWER BULLET POINT ITEMS THAN I THOUGHT ALKSAJGLAKDJFA I FAIL

• I’m going to deliberately rickroll y’all here, but this is Never Gonna Give You Up at 8 kps and it’s super relaxing/concentration-promoting, at least for me.
• Hahaha, it’s making me remember Lethargic Bieber, which is good for concentration, too. It really does sound Enya-esque.
• UGH I have to get on a plane early Sunday morning and fly down to attend my grandma’s funeral. I’m done with flying and I’ve never been to a funeral, so I’m pretty nervous.
• Random memory that just popped into my head: back in high school I was a total hooligan and I’d do all sorts of stupid stuff at lunch time to entertain my friends. One of my least inappropriate shenanigans was accidentally breaking a vending machine with a candy bar wrapper. One day I’d had enough change to get a bag of M&Ms out of the vending machine, and it didn’t take me long to eat all the M&Ms and want more (‘cause that’s what I do). I didn’t have any change left, so I wanted to see if I could get the vending machine to accept the M&Ms wrapper instead. I ended up jamming the whole money-accepting mechanics; the thing wouldn’t even take coins and it was kind of hissing and buzzing and sucking the wrapper in and out like it was possessed. I fled the scene before I could get caught. I’m still wanted in 5 states for similar crimes.
• Tumblr is all aglow with Steven Universe-related stuff, and it all makes me want to give the show a try because the pictures/episodes sound interesting. Might have to do it.
• I have to start packing my stuff for the upcoming moving day at the end of this month, but I have zero motivation to do so. It’s not that I don’t want to be moved into the new place—it’s that I don’t want to actually go through the moving process itself. I have done that more than my fair share for sure. At least I kept all my boxes that I used when moving to Calgary, and at least I’m not moving to a different country this time.
• Good thing about June: the days are super long. Bad thing about June: for the rest of the year, the days will be getting shorter.
• I’m already nervous about my thesis defense and that’s like 11 months away. DAMN YOU, VANCOUVER, DAMN YOU.

Okay, I’m done.

Edit: Woah, Steven Universe is legit.

IT’S THE APRIL LIST

• I wish I knew when I was TA-ing in the spring/summer.
• Yes, I said “spring/summer” because U of C is weird. “Fall semester” is like UI’s fall semester (September to December). “Winter semester” is like UI’s spring semester (January to April). “Spring semester” is like the first half of UI’s summer semester (May to June) and “summer semester” is like the second half of UI’s summer semester (July to August). Odd news.
• May needs to get here for two reasons: 1) I’m ready for this semester to be over, and 2) I really, really need new shoes.
• Holy hell, do I need new shoes.
• I should bring those “This Week’s Science Blog” posts back.
• Tomorrow I’m going to see Age of Ultron with Nate and I’m super excited. Excited enough to make it a point in the April list, apparently.
• Um, iPod? I’m not sure that conversion is correct.

• I have a very strong and sudden urge to write a biography of John Tukey. Statisticians need biographies, too! It’s too bad I suck at writing in general and suck even more at nonfiction writing.
• HAHAHA, I accidentally hit the “random blog post” button on my blog and it brought me to this page and I remember finding that damn picture on the Australian Chicken Meat Federation webpage. WTF, Australia?

• Where the hell did February go?
• I have about 50 miles to go before I hit 1,000 miles on these shoes. The wear pattern on the soles is actually quite different than it was on my Saucony 3’s, which is strange. Maybe I’ve changed my stride?
• It always makes me nervous when a month (or some other section of the year) seems to go by really quickly. Like by the time it feels like it’s May, it’ll actually be 2020. I’ll probably STILL be in school.*
• This year’s going pretty well music-wise. It’s no 2013, but it’s pretty good so far.
• OH GOD my 9-year blogging anniversary (can I say “blogaversary”? Does that sound too ridiculous?) is about two months away. That’s scary.
• What’s even scarier is that in one more year, I will have been blogging for almost a decade.
• This is a short list, sorry.

*God I hope not.**
**Though I said the same thing back in 2008 when I graduated the first damn time, so…

Warning: this monthly list sucks even more than the majority of my monthly lists. Be prepared.

• When the hell did I even start making these monthly list things? *does quick scan of old blogs* Oh. 2010. I guess they weren’t consistent until recently, though, huh?
• (Like anyone cares.)
• Windows gets really defensive when you try to move the location of Solitaire. You need like CIA-level super-top-secret permissions.
• I just realized that I saved a document containing an assignment as “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers” and then emailed it to my professor without changing the document name. Oops.
• My Tumblr blog consists of math, .gifs of the sun, and Achievement Hunter. Clearly it is the best blog on the site.
• Why are there no good biographies of any of the big statisticians? I would read a thorough biography of Fisher in a heartbeat, and I seriously doubt I’m the only one in the world who would do so.
• I like how I bitch about Twitter and then keep posting Twitter-related things. Though in my defense, Vine is like the loud, obnoxious, mile-a-minute child of Twitter, so I guess it’s not quite the same. And Vines can be funny. Tweets are just dumb.
• 2015 is going pretty well so far!
• Too bad this list is crap!

A few days early, ‘cause screw it.

• July sucked. Actually, this whole summer has sucked.
• Taking bets on how many “posterior distribution” jokes I can make before they kick me out of grad school.
• I am, in fact, the Frito Bandito.
• Someone needs to start a fabric store called “Hail Satin.”
• I need to bring my “This Week Science Blog” series back. I just keep forgetting to consistently find science news. I know it’s out there, I just suck at looking.
• When I was younger (and before I knew the difference between the measurements), I always thought that since Britain used the kilogram for mass and the pound for their currency, the U.S. should thus use the pound for mass and the kilogram for their currency. ‘Cause I was weird like that.
• Words that I still have trouble spelling: guarantee, calendar, license.
• In elementary school, the hardest word to spell for me was “their.” I could spell “there” and “they’re” and I could explain the difference between all three, but I always wanted to spell “their” as “thier.” It just looked better. Then one day in fourth grade, we had to pair up and read each other our spelling test words that were picked out for us by our teacher. My friend Nicole was my partner and one of my words was “their*.” I of course got it wrong, so Nicole says, “Just remember: it’s “THE, I, R!” I still think of that (and the damn little sing-songy voice she said it in) every time I have to spell that word.

*YES, I had “their” on a fourth grade spelling test ‘cause I had so much damn trouble with that word. But I also had “deoxyribonucleic acid” on the same test, so there.

• This year has been very, very slow for music. I hope it picks up soon!
• I’m ready for this semester to be over and it’s not even April yet.
• We’re playing this gorgeous song in concert band. I love it.
• This fan fiction I’ve been writing for like 3 years has kind of turned into a dumping ground of depressing, over the top drama. Just how I like it.
• One thing I really do like about my Math-Stats teacher is how he actually talks about the people behind the formulas. I really, really appreciate that. Like, he doesn’t just say “now here is the Neyman-Pearson lemma,” he actually tells us who Neyman and Pearson were. WHY DON’T MORE PROFS DO THAT.
• When I was young, I used to think the phrase was “hard-earned criminals” rather than “hardened criminals.” “Hard-earned” made sense to me because these were the criminals that were so good at eluding the police that once the police finally captured them, they could say that the capture was “hard-earned.” I was a dumb kid.

• Uh, yeah, Google. “Seattle Seahawks” is exactly what I was trying to search for there:

• Chief Inspector Violet Knightton. I’ll take it.
• Petition to call abandoned/forgotten Tumblr blogs Tumblrweeds.
• We’re starting Bayesian estimation in Math-Stats on Wednesday. Time to break out the “posterior distribution” jokes.
• OH MY GOD I should totally re-write Baby Got Back to be about posterior distributions in Bayesian estimation. Baby Got Beta. “This data’s meaning will be none until you claim a prior, hun!”
• Beauty queen:

• This trigonometry reference circle would make an excellent tattoo (ha, and he designed it for that purpose!)
• These socks ain’t takin’ none of my crap:

• Every once and awhile, I really just need to be Claude.
• I’m just…I’m just going to put this here.
• Back when I was working on “Walking Treadmill Desk Prototype I” I used a rubber mallet to hammer some boards together to make the desk (didn’t work; using stacked-up dresser drawers now). I’ve kept the mallet in the house because Annabelle is freakishly attached to it. I have to put her food and water next to it or else she gets mad. Evidence:

• The biggest thing that bothered me about the movie Titanic was the scene right before Jack drew Rose nude—where she paid him a dime for the drawing. I’d have to watch the movie again to be sure, but I’m 99% sure the dime she gave him had FDR’s head on it. He wouldn’t be President until 1933 and wouldn’t be the face of the dime until 1946. This is the design of the dime that would have been used:

• I’ve made more friends this semester than in the past 3 years combined. I’m not kidding.
• This semester has been awesome, but I’m ready for it to be over.
• THAT ISN’T FUNNY NBC

• Big Life Changes will (hopefully) be happening in the next half-year. Stay tuned.
• I had a dream about the devil last night. But he was a nice devil. He had only one horn so he called himself the Unicorn Devil. I had apparently been hired to keep an eye on hell’s sole (soul?) security camera. Unicorn Devil bought me M&M’s during my first shift.
• RED BULL!
• This is probably one of my favorite blogs ever.
• I didn’t do NaNoWriMo this month because I’m a loserpalooza.
• I’m a loserpalooza who I really enjoys Minecraft.
• (I didn’t do much of that this month, either.)
• This is exactly how I put my laundry away:

I think that’s all!

These things are kind of becoming monthly staples, aren’t they?

• I freaking love cardioids.
• Vaaaaancouuuuuuuuuuverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU WERE MISERABLE WHY DO YOU MAKE ME WANT TO COME BACK?!
• Before I knew what was physically going on when sunlight meets skin, I thought it was weird that sunlight lightened everything it touched (hair, fabric, paper, etc.) but DARKENED skin. That seemed so counterintuitive to me.
• I wish math was even half as intuitive to me as stats is.
• It would cost like $400 round trip to go visit Sean next month. Balls.
• This was one of my 2010 downloads and I just rediscovered it thanks to shuffle. Freaking awesome song.
• I’ve been having real hang-ups about my physical appearance lately, which bugs the living hell out of me because I’m usually able to repress all that stupid nonsense.
• I’ve also been SUPER ANXIOUS as well, but I think that’s because I’m not sure what I’m doing after May of next year (staying here and teaching, staying here and failing at life, going back to grad school and failing at life, etc.).
• I need to teach myself how to lucid dream…for reasons you can probably guess.
• I just realized I drank like two gallons of water today.

Uh…that’s all.