Tag Archives: aneel

Goodnight Aneel

Back when I used to think I was both talented and hilarious, I made a little parody of “Goodnight Moon” for my high school friend Aneel. Considering all the drawings were in MS Paint, I’d say it’s not too bad.

Check it:

09-29-2017-a09-29-2017-b09-29-2017-c09-29-2017-d09-29-2017-e09-29-2017-f09-29-2017-g09-29-2017-h09-29-2017-i09-29-2017-j09-29-2017-k09-29-2017-l09-29-2017-m09-29-2017-n09-29-2017-o09-29-2017-p09-29-2017-q09-29-2017-r09-29-2017-s

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAY MACARENA

Hahahaha, man, I wish I would have finished this.

Aneel was one of my best friends in high school, which of course meant I had to make fun of him using Flash. I also made a parody of “Goodnight Moon” about him, ‘cause what else are friends for?

Edit: here’s a Strawberry Clock from back when I was all about the Clock Crew. I miss pretending to know how to Flash.

 

 

Poor Aneel (sequel to “30 short reasons why I need a life”)

Haha, I did it again. Here are more fun posts for Aneel to ponder!

 

Claudia Mahler wrote
Why would you ever think I post on your wall too much?
I just don’t understand…

Claudia Mahler wrote
Haha, I’m glad you like my insane posting habits. I’ll bet it annoys everyone else who posts, though.
But that’s my appeal. (Note: Claudia’s appeal costs $50/hour. Cash only. Small bills preferred.)

Claudia Mahler wrote
Haha…drafting overdose.
At least it’s not heroin or something.
Unless “drafting” has become some sort of hip new word for “heroin.”
You’d better check yourself into rehab, young man!

Claudia Mahler wrote
I just realized that I start most of my wall posts with the phrase “haha” (or some variation of it). WTF?

Claudia Mahler wrote
Ahoy-hoy! Here is a birthday present for you! I almost picked the fancy undies, but I figured you already had a pair. So I chose the whipped cream/cherry. Kinky, eh? Happy birthday!

Claudia Mahler wrote
Wow…I haven’t written on your wall for, what, 48 hours? What the hell?! I’m slipping!

Claudia Mahler wrote
Must..
.maintain…wall…dominance…

Claudia Mahler wrote
Must…refrain…from…overusing…ellipses…

Claudia Mahler wrote
Must…get…a…date…

Claudia Mahler wrote
Or…at least…a rubberband…with personality…

Claudia Mahler wrote
Must…distract you…from…last…post…

Claudia Mahler wrote
I grow tired of these games! It’s high time we sat down to a good old-fashioned MSN Messenger conversation in which you abandon your computer for a good hour while I feverishly peck out some 18th-century oriented conversation about zodiac signs, gynecologists, and row-row-row your boat!
…I think this is the most meaningful message I’ve ever left you.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Did you know 3 out of 3 doctors recommend me for a good boredom cure?

Claudia Mahler wrote
Did you also know that I have been shown in clinical studies to prevent herpes?

Claudia Mahler wrote
I think doctors need to re-evaluate their clinical studies. It’s like those toothbrushes. Who’s that one doctor who EVERY DAMN TIME says, “hell no! I won’t recommend this product! I’m a sourpuss and I want the world to know it! I’ve got a horse chestnut up my butt and it’s making me cranky! I’m Rube Goldberg!”

Claudia Mahler wrote
Did you ever stop to think that your whole life could be put on stage one day in the future? Who do you think would play you?

Claudia Mahler wrote
I think William Shatner would play me.

Claudia Mahler wrote
I <3 William Shatner.

Claudia Mahler wrote
I think MySpace Tom would play you.
No offense, or anything.

Claudia Mahler wrote
I think I need some serious psychiatric help. I may perform self-analysis once I’m certified.
I’ll analyze you for free, of course.
With “free” being read as “$200/hr, $50 extra every time you say the word “cars.”

Claudia Mahler wrote
I know someone who hasn’t written on my wall since the 27th…
His name starts with an “A” and ends with a “neel”…
And no, it’s not Alfred Berneel.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Hooray!
Okay, now I promise not to mass-comment on your wall until…hm…the 20th.

ANEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!

Sharma? It’s your BIRTHDAY?! OMG!

Ahem.

Anyway, here’s a list of random births/deaths/crap that happened on your birthday in history! And go!

~Sharon Stone is born (1958)
~Comet Shoemaker-Holt 2 makes its closest approach to Earth (1.9245 AU) (1997)
~O. J. Simpson jury reaches decision on $25M in punitive damages (1997)
~U.S. performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site (1989)
~28 skiers perform backflips while holding hands, Bromont, Quebec (1982) (Gahahaha….)
~”Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” by Rod Stewart peaks at #1 (1979) (Aneel’s theme song!)
~WW II peace treaties signed (1947)
~Tom and Jerry created by Hanna and Barbera debut by MGM (1940)

Have a happy B-day!

Through my crappy flash animation, we all of us get to see Aneel in a dress

Haha, second time posting this piece of crap! But I’ve extended it a bit and added some more fun stuff: drinking! If it’s too insulting now, I’ll take it down. If not, be prepared to be dazzled on your birthday!

 

 

30 short reasons why I need a life

Ahoy there! I’m only posting this cause I can’t think of anything else to post.
Plus it’s funny.
Poor Aneel.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Yeah…finally jumped on the Facebook wagon. Can’t do lunch today; I have to go to Polya (poop) cause I haven’t had the chance to so far this week. We could go on Tuesday maybe…

Claudia Mahler wrote
It’s Aneel, it’s Aneel, it’s Aneel-neel-neel!
It’s Aneel, it’s Aneel, it’s Aneel-neel-neel!
It’s Aneel, it’s Aneel, it’s Aneel-neel-neel!
It’s Aneeeeel…
It’s Aneel-neel-neel!

Claudia Mahler wrote
If a quantum physicist and a lawyer were locked in a room together and were forced to come up to the answer to, “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?”, would the quantum physicist be victorious over the lawyer, or vice-versa?

Claudia Mahler wrote
My money’s on the cat.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Oh, crap! I forgot to put the cat in the story!

Claudia Mahler wrote
If a quantum physicist, a cat, and a lawyer were locked in a room together and were forced to come up to the answer to “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?”, would the quantum physicist be victorious over the lawyer and the cat, the lawyer over the quantum physicist and the cat, or the cat over the lawyer and quantum physicist?

Claudia Mahler wrote
Now my money’s on the quantum physicist. No way in hell is a cat going to be able to vocalize his answer.

Claudia Mahler wrote
How could you’ve written on my wall at 11:26 PM TODAY when it’s only 11:10?
Tell me the secrets of your time travel.
Oh, and it’s a good thing you replied. I was about to do a one-sided conversation thingy like I did on messenger that one time…

Claudia Mahler wrote
O…kay…my post is at 2 in the morning…what time system are you on?
Or is it me?

Claudia Mahler wrote
Are you ever gonna answer that lawyer/cat/quantum physicist question?
Do it NOW!

Claudia Mahler wrote
That new pic is as hot as the sun’s core temperature (15,000,000 degrees Celsius, or something like that. Why isn’t there an “approximately” symbol on the keyboard? I think this should be a new Facebook group: “Petition to Add the Squiggly Equal Sign to the Standard American Keyboard”).
In fact, my monitor is on fire. PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!
Ah, screw it. Aneel=sexy.

*cough*cat/lawyer/quantum physicist question*cough*

Claudia Mahler wrote
YOU! Didn’t I nearly dominate your wall at one point? Do you want that again? I DIDN’T THINK SO, SOLDIER!
Ahem…okay. Much love. Reply.

Claudia Mahler wrote
SHARMEGAMAN!
You know I love your driving. I love your driving as much as I love math.
I need to take over your wall again at some point in the near future.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Aneel! President Fillmore has an urgent call for you on line three! Pick up at once!

Claudia Mahler wrote
Line three: “Mr. Sharma! President Millard Fillmore here! I’m in need of your assistance! No one freakin’ remembers who I was! It’s as if I never was President! What do I do?”

Claudia Mahler wrote
Line three: “…what do you mean you don’t know who I am?”

Claudia Mahler wrote
Aneel! President Millard Fillmore has just hung up on you! I do believe that this will lead to some sort of national crisis! I’m scared!

Claudia Mahler wrote
Oh wait. He’s dead, isn’t he? Never mind.
…Then who were you talking to?

Claudia Mahler wrote
So hier’ s einige zufälligen Scheiße auf Deutsch. Ich werde Sie können nicht lesen dieses Recht ab dem Schlagholz, nicht wahr wetten? Wenn Sie dies hinter übersetzen, ist es wahrscheinlich nicht etwas schließt zu was ich habe eingetippt, eh? Lesen Sie die Linie in Zitaten, übersetzen Sie es, erwidert dann zu mir mit dieser Linie in der Nachricht, damit ich werde wissen, dass Sie ein wahrer Freund sind, stimmt zu? Aaaannnnnddd. ..go! „Ich wünsche, dass Ihr schnitzel in meiner Scheide war”
Hint: it’s German!

Claudia Mahler wrote
I’m so glad we’re married. Why haven’t you changed your little relationship status?
You’re a bad wife.

Claudia Mahler wrote
…a naughty, dirty wife…

Claudia Mahler wrote
Write a new blog, already. About the wedding at Jack-in-the-Box. It was lovely, wasn’t it?

Claudia Mahler wrote
Huttah! Get back from California, already.
I find it disturbing that, when typing in the web address for Facebook, I accidentally (almost automatically) typed http://www.fecesbook.com.
What does that mean?
And put your wedding ring on, missy. I know you’re not wearing it.
You don’t want me to call Dr. Phil.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Haha, I totally own your wall…48% of the comments are mine.
Yes, I tallied them up.
Yes, I’m a loser.
Yes, I’m not wearing any clothes and am taking pictures just for you. :P

Claudia Mahler wrote
Ha…I’m totally making a Flash animation about you.
Set to “Macarena.”
It’s genius.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Are your butts brown?

Claudia Mahler wrote
Edit for last post: replace “butts” with “eyes” and answer accordingly.

Claudia Mahler wrote
Turns out I eliminated all eye color in the end.
Go figure.
And yes, it’s going well, thanks for asking. :P
You will be pleased…..veeeeeeeeeery pleased…
Hehehe…

Claudia Mahler wrote
Question: exactly how horribly insulting can I be in this movie? Are you going to put any limitations on me? Example: I can dress you up as a girl but I can’t show you hanging out with Ross.
Etc.
P.S. Sex.

Claudia Mahler wrote
How the hell did you get 60 wall posts?!
Oh wait.

So you want to build a three-masted schooner…

I’m calling this art, even though it’s a piece of crap.
I’ll modify it/remove it/hang my head in shame if you want me to, Aneel.
But yeah. This is basically the intro, I plan on animating the whole song.

Hope it’s not too bad! I suck at Flash!

“…on paper?”

Haha, it’s time to mess with people! Here are snippits from several MSN messenger conversations I’ve had with some of my friends (mainly Aneel and E’raina) over the past year. They’re hilarious.

#1: in which we discuss a certain teacher and her husband:
E’raina: haha, her hubby came to the rink today and had a conversation with my boobs
Claudia: HAHA!
Aneel: yuck
E’raina: i almost cried
Claudia: I bet he’d like some firm ones for once
Claudia: :D
E’raina: haha
Aneel: ewe
E’raina: damn girl!
Claudia: Not that I look or anything…
E’raina: its hard to miss that
Aneel: haha yeah…
E’raina: its one of those “do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro”
E’raina: but with boobs

#2: in which we discuss the end of the year BBQ:
E’raina: too bad we don’t have friends with hot tubs
E’raina: or slip n slides
E’raina: or crack
Claudia: I have strippers hidden under my bed!
E’raina: I vote for Claudia’s house

E’raina: Hey C, do you ever have a day where you just want to whip Aneel with a piece of licorice?

#3: in which we discuss Aneel’s hotness:
Claudia: Don’t you think Aneel’s hot?
Claudia: I do
Aneel: o yeah it’s not a secret…lol
E’raina: damn right it isn’t
Aneel: I’m not the best kept secret

#4: in which I promote my website:
Claudia: www.geocities.com/antarctica_freak
Claudia: It is great
Claudia: Brilliant
Aneel: lol well you made it
Claudia: Therefore it is great
Claudia: Brilliant

Claudia: HAHA! I just opened my phone and got an eyeful of Alan crotch!

#5: in which we discuss (argue about) pasta for prom:
Claudia: I’ll bring pasta
Claudia: CLEAN pasta, Aneel
Aneel: why would it be dirty?
E’raina: teehee
Claudia: You were saying it was messy
Aneel: yeah pasta is
Claudia: Not all the time
E’raina: it can be
Claudia: But not all the time
Aneel: exactly
Aneel: but it can
Claudia: BUT NOT ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!!
Claudia: Gang up on me, why don’t ya?
E’raina: i love pasta
E’raina: i’m all about the pasta
Aneel: lol it’s ok I like it to sometimes
E’raina: I love it!
Claudia: …so pasta?

#6: in which Aneel and I discuss what we’re doing at the moment:
Claudia: Did you just say something?
Claudia: …Sharma?
Aneel: yeah whats up>?
Claudia: Government final :(
Claudia: You?
Aneel: I’m decorating my glasses case
Claudia: To make it more manly?

Claudia: Does he really count as a boy?
Claudia: He’s an…Aneel

Aneel (talking about his government final): do you think Hall would care if I did the whole research paper in landscape format?

#7: in which Aneel and I discuss the final government question:
Aneel: what creative thing did you do for a bill becoming a law?
Claudia: I just did a flowchart
Claudia: You haven’t done that yet?
Aneel: nope
Aneel: flowchart?
Aneel: how do you make one of those?
Claudia: Yeah
Claudia: Just draw it
Aneel (like 5 minutes later): on paper?

Guess who JUST GOT MARRIED?!

Hooray! Aneel and I got married today! We went to Jack-in-the-Box to do it (not THAT do it…I meant get married! You sick-minded weirdos…). E’raina apparently can perform the marriage ceremony legally. Unfortunately, though, Aneel would not put on a dress.

UPDATE: Pics are up, people! Right here.

 

Words with Aneel

Hey, Aneel! Remember that day long ago when I was trying to talk to you on messenger but you weren’t there so I had this little “conversation” with you? Here it is:

Aneel says: Ah, lovely day, isn’t it?
Claudia says: Yes it is, Aneel. What events have you planned for such a glorious day?
Aneel says: Perhaps a walk out-of-doors, though I’m not really much of an outdoors type.
Claudia says: That’s quite true.
Aneel says: Quite.
Claudia says: Quite.
Aneel says: I feel a boredom coming over me.
Claudia says: Perhaps a song will cheer you up. How about a rendition of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat?” A round. I’ll start:
Claudia says: “Row, row, row your boat / Gently down the stream…”
Aneel says: “Row, row, row your boat / Gently down the stream…”
Claudia says: “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily / Life is but a dream!”
Aneel says: “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily / Life is but a dream!”
Claudia says: Did that cure your boredom?
Aneel says: Yes it did, dear friend, thank you.
Claudia says: You’re welcome.
Aneel says: My boredom is cured thanks to your genius and wit. I shall nominate you for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Claudia says: Thank you, my friend, but I’m afraid it’s already been done. I’ve already written my acceptance speech as well as acceptance speeches for the Pulitzer Prize, the Emmys, the Grammys, and the Oscars. They all start out the same: “Back when my dear friend Aneel broke the mirror off his car…”
Aneel says: Oh, how witty! Ha-ha!
Claudia says: Ha-ha!
Aneel says: Ha-ha!
Claudia says: I do feel this is the most meaningful conversation we’ve ever had.
Aneel says: I quite agree.
Claudia says: How much longer do you think we can keep up such a piece of wit and hysteria?
Aneel says: A fortnight, perhaps.
Claudia says: Perhaps.
Aneel says: By-the-by, I have what you call a “blind date” set up for Wednesday night. However, I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl. Their name is “Kelly”.
Claudia says: Traditionally, the spelling K-E-L-L-Y is a masculine form of the name, and I suggest you back out (unless you’re into same-sex dating). However, since these are crazy, mixed-up times we live in, perhaps it is a girl, in which case I suggest you bring chocolates.
Aneel says: Once again, your genius saves the day.
Claudia says: Thank you.
Aneel says: You’re welcome.
Claudia says: Oh, what a faux pas! I just ordered PINK flowers for a friend whose favorite color is RED!
Aneel says: You’re in a pickle now. As they say, “LOL!”
Claudia says: Yes, “LOL” indeed.
Claudia says: I just read my horoscope. Would you like to hear it?
Aneel says: Of course, for if you will remember, your horoscope is the same as mine.
Claudia says: Oh, silly me! “LOL!”
Aneel says: Ha-ha!
Claudia says: Ha-ha!
Claudia says: Here it is: “Aquarius: your extreme skills in the field of gynecology will have great impacts on your social life. Be cautious, however; the wrong person will leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth.”
Aneel says: “Gynecology?” You must be joking.
Claudia says: I never joke.
Aneel says: The nerve of this newspaper!
Claudia says: Quite!
Claudia says: I’m going to write a letter to the editor. A strongly-worded, opinionated, and occasionally blasphemous letter to the editor.
Aneel says: You will strike a blow for decency.
Claudia says: Don’t say “blow”.
Aneel says: Sorry.
Claudia says: I knew that Pulitzer Prize acceptance speech would come in handy.
Aneel says: You’re quite right!
Claudia says: I must go now, Aneel, as my hand is fevered with passion at this topic.
Aneel says: ‘Ta!
Claudia says: ‘Ta!

I found this in my messenger history this morning and laughed for about an hour. Too bad we don’t really have these kinds of conversations!

Aneel…doubting me?

Okay…so this is the actual comment Aneel left on my “Jell-o Candle” picture:

 

 

Aneel

 

 

May 26, 2006 9:05 PM

WTF how in the world did you make a candle out of jello? I bet you didn’t I bet it looks like jello anyways it’s cool

 

 

What a butt! Aneel, that candle was totally Jell-o! You know those little Jell-o cup doodads? If you just whack one on a table upside down a few times, it’ll come out. Then stick a wick in it and light it and voila! Instant JELL-O CANDLE.

I am disappointed in you, Aneel.

But I love you, anyways!

Two poems about Aneel!

Okay. I was bored tonight and decided to take two poems that I wrote about Aneel (one in 7th grade and one last year) and put them up here to see what people think of them. Here they are:

Aneel (written in 7th grade)
Aneel shall die at twilight
You can almost hear him shake
He is overrun by evil
Never again to wake.
As chimes sound the hour
Fate tightens its noose
Aneel thinks with every breath
That he will not get loose.
He drinks his tea with caution
Eats his crumpet with care
For he knows, fortunately
That poison could be there.
The sky is getting darker
Light sinks beyond the hills
Aneel is schizophrenic
He needs to take some pills.
The ground is white as cotton
In a blizzard thick as snow
Aneel is mighty frightened
Not sure which way to go.
As twilight comes ever closer
It scares him evermore
Waiting in the dusk there
Is no major bore.
The demons are approaching
Crawling on the floor
The seep in through the keyhole
They creep beneath the door.
Aneel sits in his chair now
Waiting for his doom
For at the door this hour
Spirits creep and loom.
The sun sets and its twilight
Aneel is soon to die
But something gleams and glimmers
And catches Aneels eye.
He sits straight up in wonder
Of the sight that he beheld
Something that possessed him
Could not let him repel.
The creature was an angel
A guardian one, at that
Aneel know in his heart that
He had not come to chat.
The angel touched his head, then
And sucked out all his fear
And bent down to his level
And whispered in his ear,
What are you waiting for, son?
You know your time has come.
I have come to spare you
So take this chance and run!
The spirit left Aneel there
Sitting in a shock
Trembling from his hair
Way down into his socks.
Freed from this predicament
He slowly went to bed
And still his good head tingled
From that hand upon his head.

And this one…

Goodnight Aneel (apologies to whoever wrote Goodnight Moon)
Goodnight room
Goodnight moon.
Goodnight cars
Goodnight Mars.
Goodnight overstuffed backpack
Goodnight personalized spice rack.
Goodnight fancy new viola
Goodnight Special K granola.
Goodnight photo of German chick
And goodnight assignment for when Shannyn was sick.
Goodnight super strength sculpting gel
And Goodnight Algebra book from hell.
Goodnight torn and sewn up pants
What’s the capital of France?
Goodnight Co-Op fabrication
And Goodnight to The Sims Vacation.
And finally, for the best Karma
Goodnight to the Aneel Sharma!

 

There ya go. Have fun! And sorry, Aneel!