Things I Want to Do:
- Make spaghetti
- Get hit by a truck
Not necessarily in that order.
Book Review: The Bonfire of the Vanities (Wolfe)
Have I read this before: Nope! First time.
Review: Oof, there’s a lot going on in this book. Not that that’s a bad thing. I knew nothing about the book before I started reading it, and after I was done I looked up some more info on it. Apparently Wolfe was trying to capture 1980s New York the same way Thackerary’s Vanity Fair tried to capture 19th century English society. Having read Vanity Fair, I think Wolfe does a pretty similar job of it. There’s a very serious issue going on at the main heart of the plot, but there’s a lot of humor and satire throughout. Also, a lot of the ideas and issues are still relevant in the US today…maybe even more so than they were, say, ten or twenty years ago, like the differences in wealthy and poor individuals and racial tension.
Favorite part: The style in which the book is written is very engaging and seems to poke fun at itself sometimes. Here are a few quick sections that I felt captured this pretty well:
“Who in the name of God would bring a half-eaten eight-ounce jar of Hellmann’s mayonnaise to a public meeting?”
[Sherman on the elevator with his dog and another owner gets on.]
Browning stepped on. Browning looked Sherman and his country outfit and the dog up and down and said, without a trace of a smile, “Hello, Sherman.”
“Hello, Sherman” was on the end of a ten-foot pole and in a mere four syllables conveyed the message: “You and your clothes and your animal are letting down our new mahogany-paneled elevator.”
[Attorneys in their office.]
“Come on, Larry,” said Andriutti, “tell the truth. Deep down, don’t you wish you were Italian or Irish?”
“Yeah,” said Kramer, “that way I wouldn’t know what the fuck was going on in this fucking place.”
Caughey started laughing. “Well, don’t let Ahab see those shoes, Larry. He’ll have Jeanette issue a fucking memorandum.”
“No, he’ll call a fucking press conference,” said Andriutti.
“That’s always a safe fucking bet.”
And so another fucking day in the fucking Homicide Bureau of the Bronx Fucking District Attorney’s Office was off to a fucking start.
Rating: 7/10
“Quietly,” said the blog post
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve gotten like three hours of sleep over the past week or so or what, but this is great.
Edit: THERE ARE MORE
Edit 2: okay, he’s got a ton of these “if people X’ed instead of Y’ed” videos and they’re all pretty fantastic.
Sorry, my ear is too cool to hear you
Dudes, check out this super cool ear piece:
I got it from Otis Jaxson Jewelry on Etsy. There are so many cool pieces on their page. If you like funky, unique earrings, ear pieces, necklaces, bracelets, and rings, check them out!
What a Wonderful 2020 Song
The more I listen to these guys, the more I like them. And the energy in this song is fantastic.
Sorry, everything else in the world is terrible right now.
IT’S THE SEPTEMBER LIST OMFG
- Mongolian BBQ survived the (first round of) the pandemic. THANK THE GODS.
- Someone tell me why my fucking toenail is turning into a concrete brick. Here’s a picture. That fugly bit at the front? That’s not the top of my toenail. That’s the width of the thing. What in the ever-living ass goblins, guys. I can’t trim this toenail because it literally will not fit into any nail clipper. I’m going to have to get like dog nail clippers or something. (Yes, there are sock fuzzies all over my toes.)
- I’m sorry, but are we really assuming that people are staying completely inactive during these quarantines? Exercising without a gym is a thing. I get that not everybody has the ability to do that, but I think most people, at least in the US and Canada, live in a situation where they could go outside and just walk around on occasion. And if not, what about exercising in the house?
- Did you know that there is a maximum number of videos that you can have in the “Watch Later” playlist on Youtube? Apparently there is, ‘cause I just hit it today.
- To add a little structure to my book list choices, I think I’m going to choose my next books “alphabetically” in the sense that I’ll have to pick a book from the books starting with each letter. For example, I just finished As I Lay Dying (my “A” choice) and am reading The Bonfire of the Vanities (my “B” choice), so the next book I’ll read will have to start with a “C.” Just to make things easier.
- Here’s another little tree picture I took on a walk. I did a bit of Photoshop to it to give it a little effect. Do you like it?
Uggggggggggggh.
Mets, oh my god, that was such a fitting end to a very rough season.
Anyway.
Look at how pretty Calgary is! Time to enjoy it for the next few days before everything dies and the temperature drops below zero. And stays like that until May.
I am sad.
Leave me be.
S W A G
I got my stuff from the half marathon today! Check it out:
Shirt!
Bib!
Medal!
Super cool. The last official race I did was the Vancouver Sun Run back in 2011; we got a bib (obviously, since it was in person) and a t-shirt (which I gave to my mom), but we never got a super cool medal.
Let’s try the full marathon next year!
I Voted!
After getting an email copy of my absentee ballot (and dealing with a few issues regarding the address printed on said ballot), I was able to fill it out and mail it today! Super fun. Don’t forget to vote, my American brethren.
Also, last Christmas my dad got Nate and me some Ancestry.com kits, and we FINALLY got around to spitting in the little collector tubes, so I sent those off as well. Mailing the tubes was a lot cheaper than mailing the ballot, but I wanted the ballot in a tracked package and expedited so that there’s very little chance it won’t get there before election day.
Once our Ancestry samples get to their destination, we should have our results in six to eight weeks. I’m curious to see the comparisons with my 23andMe analysis.
Also, no, I have no qualms about sending off my DNA to companies like this. What’re they going to do, clone me? Trust me, no one wants that.
CUZ BABY YOU’RE A FIREWORK
WANT SOME BIG BOOMS?
YOU KNOW YOU DO!
AND THEY’RE SERVED WITH A SIDE OF CAPS LOCK IN THESE TRYING TIMES!
Virtual Calgary Half-Marathon = DONE!
This was the one I really wanted to do in person back in May, but ALAS…
This was not my best run. For whatever reason my legs felt like they weighed like 80 pounds each, so I didn’t end up with a super great time. But it’s probably faster than I would have been able to do it back in May, anyway, so yeah.
Next year I’ll hopefully be able to do the actual factual marathon, and it would be super nice if I could do it in person rather than virtually.
I don’t have high hopes about that, though.
Around the World in 2,206 Days
Today, I hit a huge walking milestone: since my first walk in Calgary on September 8, 2014, I have now walked a total of 24,901.46 miles. That is equivalent to the circumference of the earth at the equator!
As always, here are some stats:
- Total number of walks: 1,938
- Total steps: 56,171,859
- Total time spent walking: 383,048.87 minutes, or 6,384.15 hours, or 266.00 days
- Average walking distance (when averaged across the 1,938 walks): 12.849 miles
- Average walking distance (if I had spaced out the distance over every single day): 11.29 miles
So that’s pretty cool, eh?
Boxplot of walk distances by year:
Boxplot of walk distances by month:
Boxplot of walk distances by day of the week:
(As if anyone cares)
Let’s start another trip around the world tomorrow!
Virtual Bloomsday = DONE!
YAY, I did my virtual Bloomsday run today. After much deliberation about how many miles I should walk today (reasons for that will be explained tomorrow), I eventually decided on 10.7 miles (I know, I know – not my standard 15 or 16…again, that will be explained tomorrow). But then I decided that since it wasn’t too hot out (and kind of cloudy) that I might as well use the shortened mileage to do my Bloomsday run today. So I walked for a bit and then ran the 7.46 miles (12k) to represent the Bloomsday distance.
I actually didn’t even run on the river path (a first for me!). The path is usually a LOT busier on the weekends, especially in the middle of the day. So I just ran behind the hospital, back behind the Children’s Hospital, towards campus, and a little bit north of that. The route wasn’t super hilly, but it definitely wasn’t flat, so I think that inflated my time a bit. But hey…the Bloomsday route isn’t flat and I’m sure whenever I’m able to do the Calgary Marathon that that route won’t be completely flat either.
So yeah! I should be getting my Bloomsday shirt in October sometime.
GUYS I FOUND THE ZEPPELIN GAME
This is the same site on which I found Microsoft Pinball.
I was super into this game in 2008 when I first found it somewhere on the internet and downloaded it. I remember it being really freaking hard. Like, you’d finally have enough money to purchase a second zeppelin and your first one would nose dive into the Pacific, killing all passengers and making you Asshole #1 in the zeppelin world.
Edit: yeah, I tried to play it again. Just as difficult as I remember it being.
Hey so let’s do Bloomsday
Remember how I said yesterday that the virtual Bloomsday window had closed? Well, apparently they extended it to September 27.
So I signed up for that, too.
Now the question is: do I run Bloomsday “on its own” – as in, it 12k and be done with it – or do I just do one of my normal 14-mile runs and just take note of how long it takes me to hit 12k? The latter sounds like I’d be “cheating” even though I would be running the 12k like everyone else, but just burying it in a longer run. I definitely don’t want to bury it in my Calgary Half-Marathon run, though, because that WOULD be cheating.
At least, to me it would.
WHO KNOWS.
Hey so let’s do the Calgary Half Marathon
SO.
When I was talking to my dad the other day, he mentioned that he’d done (virtually, of course; thanks to COVID) Bloomsday before his surgery. He said he’d thought about calling me but ended up not doing it, which is a bit sad, ‘cause I could have totally pulled off a virtual…how many miles is Bloomsday?
*looks it up*
12 kilometers? Dafuq kind of weird distance is that?
Anyway, yeah. I can run that, no problem.
But that got me thinking about the Calgary Marathon, which, had this been a normal year, would have been held at the end of May (I think I mentioned it in my blogs way back then). So I looked it up to see if they’d had a virtual version and LO AND BEHOLD, you can actually participate in the virtual version up through September 27.
So I registered for the half-marathon!
I shall do it this week and hopefully will have a good finishing time. There are no prizes or anything for speed (not like I’d even have a chance, haha) because nothing is really “official” this year, but I’ll get a t-shirt and I’ll be able to cross off “run a half-marathon” from this year’s resolutions.
Run, Forrest, Run!
So somehow I managed to shave three minutes off of my half marathon time today. Three minutes is a lot of time, especially considering that I’ve only been beating my record time by like 10 or 20 seconds at a time, and have only set new time records three or four times since I started consistently running 13.1+ miles at a time.
I have no idea why I was so much faster today. Maybe it was a combination of good running weather (~50 degrees, only very light wind, overcast) and new shoes…though both of those things held last Friday and I was nowhere near a record time.
Maybe it’s the smoke. Maybe I’m smoke-powered. I honestly wouldn’t discount that; my body is weird as all hell.
Also, my dad have to have hip replacement surgery today, but it sounds like it all went well. Yay!
Unpopular Opinion:
I hate how this virus has turned some people into “OMFG THE US IS A COMPLETELY WORTHLESS COUNTRY THAT HAS NEVER CONTRIBUTED ANYTHING TO THE WORLD EVER!!!!11!!11”
Like…chill.
Just because the United States is in Hell Mode right now does not negate the good things that have come out of the country. Also, a big reason for the US being in Hell Mode right now is how polarized the country has become. Posting stuff like this to Facebook/Twitter/whatever will either a) ignite people who agree with you and make them even more “everything about the current US is awful” or b) incite people who disagree with you and make them even more “everything about the current US is amazing” and both of those outcomes will make it harder for anyone to actually make any meaningful changes because the more polarized people are, the harder it is for them to agree to anything that doesn’t pander to every aspect of their polarized view.
I mean, obviously this is just my opinion, but it seems…irresponsible. The last thing we should be doing right now is trying to further polarize the country. I don’t think it’s the solution.
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
MICROSOFT 3D PINBALL SPACE CADET
I played this SO MUCH when I first moved to Vancouver. For like the first half year. Mainly because my stupid internet didn’t work for like the first half year.
Hell, I even played the little Microsoft chess game despite not knowing ANYTHING about chess.
I also cried a lot and wished for death, but that was not exclusive to the first half year of Vancouver.
Kortal Mombat
This year has been a big ol’ bag of farts, yes?
Have a magician to make it at least a little bit better.
This guy really reminds me of my old friend Jacob from high school. Super cool dude. I wonder how he’s doing nowadays.
This is like the TA version of Myers-Briggs
As someone who’s been a TA and is now a prof, this is super relatable. I think I was closest to the “Needs to Give a ‘Short’ Lecture Every Lab” but every once and a while I was the “Basically, It’s Like.”
The “Never Comes Prepared” one is pretty great.
Eigenblogger 