Tag Archives: microsoft

The Four Corporations of the Apocalypse

I’m amazed by large corporations. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because the larger companies get, the more fiercely they seem to push for their right to be the largest company, especially when they have to muscle out some other company for top spot. I find it amusing, interesting, and frightening all at the same time.

Due to the insane technological advances we’ve been making in the past decade, along with help from the glorious, glorious internet, we’ve been able to witness the birth of mega corporations that are able to grow to tremendous sizes and pretty much envelop everything they touch. And when they decide to merge, we’re all in trouble.

 

Oh come on, you know which ones I mean…

 

Microsoft (area of dominance: computing)
Not only does Microsoft (in my opinion, at least) pretty much own the computing sector with their PCs, they’ve also got quite a monopoly on software (Microsoft Office, anyone?), plus Internet Explorer, Zune, Windows Media, Windows Live (including Hotmail and Messenger), and the Xbox 360.
It’s probably the weakest of the four corporate giants as I see them, but it’s still got a pretty strong hold on things when you think about it. Hell, I typed this out in Microsoft Word and uploaded it in IE*. I guess the reason it seems weak is because it’s not expanding at the rate of the other corporations I’ve listed.

 

Speaking of expansion…

 

Apple (area of dominance: portable media)
Remember that time where Apple only made those dorky computers? Haha, yeah. Nostalgia. Now there are IPHONES EVERYWHERE. Perhaps you read my blog about my adventure in the Apple store. If not, go read it, slacker! here’s the summary: people are psycho for Apple products. The company is rapidly gaining ground in the portable media sector.
– Music.
– Phones.
– Phones that also play music.
– Wi-Fi access in small electronics.
– Wi-Fi access in small electronics that also act as phones and play music
– Whatever the hell the iPad is.
– But wait! A newer version of the Wi-Fi/phone/music thing!

You get the idea.

Apple has pretty much taken over the “check out this electronic doohickey I’m carrying!” area, and it doesn’t show any signs of slowing up. Pair this with the grip it’s got on the music sales industry via iTunes and you’re looking at one powerful company.

 

Facebook (area of dominance: personal information)
The king of personal information, Facebook as it stands right now is quite frightening. It’s not Big Brother we have to worry about, but each other, now that we’re able to pretty much list everything down to our genetic code on a social networking site. The worst part about it is how addicting it is. I’m not ashamed (though I probably should be) that I went through a freaky little withdrawal stage when I shut down my Facebook account for a few months back in May (April? Whenever), and was pretty much fully hooked on it again when I came back. Despite all the privacy issues Facebook’s having right now, I don’t think the number of people using the site will decrease by any significant amount anytime soon, thus leaving those of us in Facebook Land a good population in which to search and stalk.

 

Google (area of dominance: general information)
Last but certainly not least is Google. Google is terrifying.

Google will own the world in approximately seven more years.
In a decade, “Googling” will no longer just be a word for “searching via google.com” but will be a euphemism for all sorts of other things (possibly dirty things). In twenty years, we’ll have street views of Alpha Centauri.

Can you tell this company frightens me?

I guess if you name your company after something as big as a googol, you’re pretty much destined to be of the mindset to want to expand as much as possible. Their getting their hands on YouTube was the final “oh crap!” moment for me, now I’m just waiting for the blue, red, yellow and green takeover. Or should I say takeooooooooooooover.

 

Paranoia? Perhaps. But I’m waiting for the day Google decides to merge with Apple, they conquer Facebook, and Microsoft decides to join in just because. Then we’re screwed.

*Anyone who gives me browser choice crap is invited to come over and count the number of times Firefox crashes when I use it. That browser and I don’t get along, I like IE best, shut the hell up.

 

Today’s song: Protection (Sirius Mo Radio Edit) by Ben Mono

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Yes.

Today I found a Sidebar gadget that displays the temperature in Kelvin. Which is something I’ve always wanted.
And just for reference, 280K is too damn cold for me.

Dodecaboobahedron!

Today I theorized a new level of hell specifically for Microsoft, its employees, and their products:
“The 666th level of hell: you find yourself in a virtual world filled with inept programs and clumsy navigation bars. You are eternally forced to create decent-looking brochures and informative spreadsheets, but are unable to ever do well enough due to the lack of decent Microsoft tools. Constantly ringing in your ears is the cackling of Bill Gates as money eternally flows from your wallet and into his fiery, overstuffed pocketbook.”

Oh! And this…this is freaky…remember when I was talking to iGod and he said “if you see Buddha on the street, kill him”? Well, god isn’t being cruel; apparently, that’s something a 9th century Zen master said. It’s a metaphor for the philosophy of Buddhism: don’t look to others (i.e., the Buddha) to form your ideas. Form you own.

I am very, very surprised that whoever programmed iGod knew that and decided to put that in there.
Yeah, that’s all for today. Things are slow.

Today revealed further flaws in Microsoft Word 2007 that must be ranted about in Blog Land

I get all riled up for nothing, don’t I? It’s great. Oh, and no pictures this time, sorry. The fact that I’m blogging and not engaging in some form of school-related work is not good in and of itself, so I’m not going to add “messing with Geocities’ image hosting” to the procrastination menu as well.

Where the hell are my margin rulers?
Welcome to the new Microsoft Word 2007, the “I’m far too superior to display margin rulers or use Times New Roman as the default font or be intuitive in the slightest.” People liked the little rulers, Microsoft. I liked the little rulers. How else are we supposed to easily tweak your crappy default layout (tab size, indentation with bullets and numbers, etc.) if we can’t manually adjust the sliders on the rulers?
Nothing will be right in the world until I get my rulers back.

And following this, why are the default margins 1″ all around the page all of a sudden?
Microsoft, you can’t do this to people like me. You can’t have 1″ margins on the top and bottom and 1.25″ margins on the sides as the default for like five years and then suddenly decide to change things. I type my essays with the expectation that, when I go to adjust the margins, the total length in vertical page size will decrease, thus “shortening” my essay just enough so that I dock a page off my already-far-too-wordy-and-incredibly-long-winded-“like-hell-I’m-going-to-stay-under-three-pages” essay. I went to do this tonight on my paper on Spinoza, and after frantically searching for my margin rulers (see above complaint), I came to the horrifying realization that I couldn’t artificially “shorten” my paper at all! Now I’m going to get another “it’s good writing after the first two pages of rambling” comment on my essays for modern philosophy.

Why did you change the “oops, it looks like you made a small grammatical error” underline from green to blue?
Why is blue so much more “modern” than green? iTunes pulled this crap, too. Remember back when the little note on the iTunes icon was green? Maybe not, ’cause they switched it to blue some time ago, and blue it remains. Same with Word. How can you change something like this?! Isn’t the green squiggle underline, like, classic? That’s like changing the traditional Christmas colors from red and green to something like red and burnt sienna. In other words, it’s BLASPHEMY! They also might have changed the background of the viewing window itself, too, but I can’t remember what the default of the original looked like, since I reset my whole color scheme to lime green on my laptop.

That stupid little “modifications box” that shows up every time I highlight text, which then subsequently causes me to change the font to Wingdings or something by complete accident, ’cause I wasn’t expecting a freaking modifications box to show up when I’m highlighting text!!
The first time I saw this little box I was all, “oh god, did I break Microsoft Word?!” No, turns out they like to mess with you when you’re frantically highlighting text to move about in your essay outlines and it’s 10 at night and you want spaghetti but NO, you’re stuck trying to grapple with freaking Microsoft Word and their new-fangled user interface that’s practically the crap on a stick of the word processing world.

The .docx extension
Yeah, that’ll protect your precious monopoly on all computerized word processors, Microsoft. Make it so that none of your older (and better) versions can open the documents from the freaking new one. That equates to putting a chastity belt on someone who’s had multiple sexual partners with hopes that it’ll magically erase her copulations with people prior.
Does that analogy work? I’m not too sure right now (I’m proofed out from symbolic logic and can’t be bothered with the trifles of sounding witty), but it’s a damn good analogy if it does.

 

And here are things that, much to my chagrin, I must admit I like about good ol’ Word 2007 (there are only two things, though, so this should be quick):

The whole easy preview of modifications to the text
Now this is a useful tool, Word ’07. When you go to modify the text, the modification actually shows up in preview in the actual text!! This is brilliant, guys. Now fix all the other crap you implemented.

The “zoom” drag button
This thing is freaking fun! You can zoom in far enough to see the pixels in the dot on the “i” and then, within seconds, zoom out so that the page you’re on looks like a postage stamp in the upper right-hand corner of Word. For those of us procrastinating on writing about Spinoza because we hate his philosophy so, this is an excellent distraction.

 

A couple important notes for today that I’m typing up at home, with good old Microsoft 2003:
I got a fortune today that read: “The more you give, the more you have.” I found that interesting.

I owned my human sexuality test. 51 out of 50, baby.

I also got a 91 on my stat 401 test, which is better than I was expecting, considering there were four problems (total of 20 points right there) on which I had no clue what to do.

If the whole psychometrics thing falls through due to my inability to get accepted by any grad school, I’m so totally going for a PhD in philosophy to become a Leibniz scholar. Holy crap, that would be amazing.

If you ever have the pleasant experience of speaking to/befriending Sean Papin, I advise you to hold him in the highest respect. His honesty and integrity as a decent human being made things that could have been disastrous go a whole hell of a lot easier today. My respect for him has shot through the roof (not that it wasn’t high before, but you know what I mean).