I started doing surveys in my blogs on November 29, 2006. Since then, I have done many, many more, including the 500- and 1000-question ones. Here are some strange answers I’ve had in past times. And yes, I’ve saved all these surveys and the answers to them. I’m a sad, sad individual, aren’t I?
These were during my humping obsession period. Don’t even ask (but if you must know, this was around October 2006).
What did you do yesterday: Humped some stuff…went to classes…the usual.
06. have you ever fallen for your best friend: Fallen for? No. Fallen on with the goal to hump? Yes.
01. love or money: Humping for pocket change (a nice even mix of the two!)
03. one night stand or relationship? What is humping categorized as? What if it’s repeated humping of one person?
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. A Pulitzer Prize
2. A taco
Haha, poor, pathetic me…
59.Have a significant other?
60.What is their name?
61.How old are they?
*rolls on floor, crying*
62.How long have you been going out?
*starts the self-pity rocking motion*
110.Played with Barbies?
They have had many adventures…20,000 Leagues Through the Sewage Line!
259.If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?
373.Know any foreign languages?
Well, I know the international language of sex and…ah, screw it
378.Are you a bum?
I HAVE a bum…
15. Where is your mailbox?
Um…out on the lawn in the front yard? Why, did you kidnap my beloved Boxy?! NOOOOOOO…
31. Would you be a pirate?
Do you have any idea how many “booty” jokes I would be making? I would be ordered to walk the plank within my first half hour.
My rant against sports whilst filling out a “favorite [insert sport here]” part of the 500 question survey.
128. Football team
Blah, football sucks.
129. Soccer team
130. Tennis player
All sports, really.
131. Hockey team
132. Basketball team
Cause that’s totally a sport.
133. Baseball team
But I digress…
We must return to answering questions.
159. Favorite president
Oh come on, if you don’t know my favorite president, you don’t know MILLARD FILLMORE!
271. Cup size or condom size
Aw, can’t I have both?
I ponder my true love
283. Have you already found your ideal mate?
Who knows? Perhaps my ideal mate exists on this earth in cantaloupe form. Holy crap, that would rock.
284. Or as close as someone can get?
Huh? Oh sorry, I’m still fantasizing about that cantaloupe…
312. Pop music?
“BaCkStReEt BoYz 4ever LOLZ!!!!111”
324. George W. Bush?
Society’s herpes! Burn it off! Burn it off!
545. Eat an entire package of Oreos in a half an hour?
Why does every survey ask this question? Seriously, what’s with them having to be Oreos? There are other cookies in the world, you know! I’m suing on behalf of Chips Ahoy for discrimination.
678. Do you secretly fantasize about George W. Bush?
Oh god! *vomits*
5. What class would you marry if you had to marry a class you’re taking right now?
TESTS AND MEASUREMENTS! TESTS AND MEASUREMENTS!
1. Are you in a relationship?: With my Tests and Measurements class. Yes, we’re a couple now. Yes, I’m seeking therapy for this.
32. If you were a spider where would you crawl away and live?
My spidey-hole, where my Spidey-sense would tingle constantly and oh my goodness that sounds really dirty.
Great stuff, huh? HUH?! Join me in my ego-boosting campaign!
In other news, a Fillmore Fact for you: he initiated the White House Library. Now how awesome is that?!
I love SAS (Statistical Analysis Software). We got an introduction to it in 422 and I took to it like breathing.
It looks promising.
Unfortunately, SPSS, the Statistical Package for Social Sciences (which is something I’m sure I’ll have to be more familiar with) is not as intuitive, so I’ll have to work with that.
But oh well. Claudia + data + SAS = good times!
Fillmore Fact: Apparently, the comic strip character “Mallard Fillmore” is named after our guy. Wikipedia’s article on Mallard has a little disclaimer, “not to be confused with Millard Fillmore.” That totally made my day.
I really, really need to make a cartoon strip featuring our favorite president. “Millard Who?” it shall be called.
This is great.
Introduction to Symbolic Logic: The first thing the professor says is, “welcome to symbolic logic. This class will be a lot like a math class.” Grr. I have a feeling this will be a difficult class. Why is it, in my experience, that 200-level classes are the toughest?
Concert Band: Hurrah! A class with people I know (even though you’re both in the back)! Torrey is switching me to clarinet, because all the other clarinetists from last year’s concert band died of the plague (I’m assuming) and I’m apparently the only one in the band who knows clarinet who is willing to switch instruments. Hurrah. Oh, well. I haven’t gotten to be loud and obnoxious on the clarinet in a concert band setting since junior year of high school.
History of Modern Philosophy: I love Joseph Cannon! I’m excited greatly for this class. The only downside is the fact that we’re only going up to Kant. But it’s all good.
Tonight consisted of: homework, dinking around on eBay for hours on end, working on my MFAW Flash (that’s “Millard Fillmore Appreciation Week, by the way), and making and subsequently drinking Nesquik chocolate milk. Yum.
Holy crap, new semester! Here we go with my obligatory rundown of today’s classes:
Human Sexuality: oh man, is this gonna be a fun class. We get in there and he’s all “bring porno to class, we’ll watch it!” What a wonderful way to begin the semester and every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until May. The downside, though, is that our grades ride on only 100 points from two tests. Scary.
Statistical Analysis: I don’t think this is going to be the nightmare I thought it would be. However, I got my first droning professor of my college career. That’s going to be fun at 9:30 in the morning. But oh well—the tests are open book and open note!
Sample Survey Methods: I don’t think this one’ll be too bad, either. We’ll see.
Developmental Psychology: Hooray! I like Welch. I naturally study and absorb the same material she tests over, so it’s good.
Psychology of Emotion: Hooray! I have this class with Sean! And Welch teaches it, so it’s good. Plus, she says the tests are easy.
Well, it doesn’t sound like the tortuous 25 credits of death as I was expecting it would (at least today’s not—we’re not through tomorrow yet), so I’m pretty content.
Onward to Thursday!
Fillmore Fact: Did you know that it was under Millard Fillmore that California was admitted as a free state? Very cool, M. F., very cool.
Oh, and also…
First cartoon of the new semester. Concept thought up in Stats 401 (we weren’t talking about diagrams at all).
Heh. I’m awesome.
Because Millard Fillmore Appreciation Week should last one day longer than a week:
The Survey in Which Every Answer Includes the Name “Millard Fillmore”
1. I love…Millard Fillmore
2. Right now I want…to get into Millard Fillmore’s pants
3. I feel like…feeling up Millard Fillmore
4. I hate it when…I’m not feeling up Millard Fillmore
5. I fear…a world without Millard Fillmore
6. I’m lonely without…Millard Fillmore by my side
7. I need…Millard Fillmore! Now! Go!
8. Today I…went to Millard Fillmore’s grave and wept uncontrollably for the great loss our country suffered when he died
9. Tomorrow I’m…going to Millard Fillmore’s grave to weep uncontrollably for the great loss our country suffered when he died (and then I’m going to get that taco from last night’s dream)
10. I just…want Millard Fillmore, is that too much to ask?!
11. I want to meet…Abraham Lincoln (cause I’ve already met Millard Fillmore)
12. I’m hungry for…whatever Millard Fillmore cooks
13. I love it when…Millard Fillmore takes his pants off and does the “Macarena” every night at 10
14. I’m afraid of…losing my sex drive and having to explain myself to Millard Fillmore on our honeymoon
15. I’m listening to…Millard Fillmore whispering sweet nothings into the ear of a bran muffin
16. I’m wearing…underwear that used to belong to Millard Fillmore
17. I wish I was in…Millard Fillmore
18. I’m craving…Millard Fillmore’s…yeah.
19. I want to get…a Millard Fillmore action figure to play with when he’s not around!
20. I can…see myself being Millard Fillmore’s wife
21. I can’t…marry anyone else but Millard Fillmore!
22. I have…a social obligation to Millard Fillmore! That is why I can see myself as his wife!
23. I haven’t…been unfaithful to Millard Fillmore. Never!
24. I’m nervous to…tell Millard Fillmore that I once dated Zach Taylor and now he’s stalking me even though he’s dead
25. My Mom thinks…that I’m a bit too obsessed with Millard Fillmore
26. My Dad thinks…”who the hell is Millard Fillmore?”
27. I think…”Millard Fillmore + me = OMG!”
28. I’m happy when…Millard Fillmore is in the room
29. I’m sad when…Millard Fillmore sets fire to the room
30. I like eating…when Millard Fillmore’s around me!
31. I hate eating…alone and without Millard Fillmore
32. I love watching…Millard Fillmore take his drawers off and beckon me towards him
33. I love listening to…Millard Fillmore’s feeble attempts at tickling the ivory (he hates elephants and they like to stomp him)
34. I like playing…with Millard Fillmore’s fragile emotions till he’s putty in my hands and I can do whatever I want with him!
35. I hate waking up to…my parole officer threatening me in order to get me to stop stalking Millard Fillmore
36. I can see…Millard Fillmore! Seriously, he’s right there! Don’t you see him?
37. I’m glad that…Millard Fillmore was around and made our world better
38. I’m disappointed that…Millard Fillmore never got around to culinary school (those stupid elephants take up too much of his time!)
39. I look like…Millard Fillmore’s twice-removed half-brother’s uncle’s cousin’s second daughter
40. I wish I looked like…Millard Fillmore
(The title is a total rip-off of “I Dream of Jeannie”, but who cares, eh?)
Holy crap! He’s invading my flippin’ dreams now! It must be a happy little pay-off to the week dedicated to him. However, it was one weird dream…
So Maggie and I (yes, Maggie, you were in this dream as well) were walking around in this half-collapsed house in the dead of winter. On the upper floor, there’s this random guy who appears to have just strangled his wife or something. We take note of this, but don’t really care at the time (are we high? Are we insane? What’s going on here?!).
Yeah. So anyways, Maggie’s kind of wandering around and I’m digging around in this one dark corner of the bottom floor’s main room. I stumble upon a life-sized statue thingy of Millard Fillmore, and I’m all “OMG LOL MILLARD FILLMORE, BITCH!” But in truth, I say, “Hey Maggie, look what I found–a Millard Fillmore statue.” I notice that he has this hidden compartment in his chest, so I open it and pull out this old spell book.
I look through it for a while and notice that these six long, rusty nails (phallic symbols–holy crap!) appear on the floor. I read this one spell and say to Maggie, “hey, guess what we can do? We can take these nails and this spell and pick six people and send them to hell!” Maggie’s all, “O…kay…” and I’m going, “here, take the nails and pick six people to kill. I’m going to go get a taco.” Maggie gets all flustered and uncomfortable, saying, “I don’t really feel comfortable killing people this way. What if something goes wrong?” So I basically explain that this was the way business was carried out–one person came up with the idea and the other carries it out. I point to myself and say “concept” and then point to her and say “execution.” Then I hand her the nails and leave (I’m totally ditching the whole situation…why does this sound familiar?).
And then I’m in Maggie’s head, thinking as she would think in the dream. She’s going, “okay, I’ve got these death nails…I guess I’ll kill that guy upstairs cause he just killed his wife…”, so she drops one of the nails into the ground. Then she runs out of ideas about who to kill and thinks, “I guess I can kill whoever came up with this weather…cause it’s so…cold?”
And then the alarm woke me up. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see the rest of Maggie’s victims. Nor did I ever get that taco.
Keep in mind this was a dream. Apologies to Maggie and the great Millard Fillmore.
<3 We will always keep him in our hearts. <3
Here you go, you horny little weirdos. My masterpiece. For the few of you who were in it (and the many of you who have heard about it), here is the special re-submitted “The Desert!”
For all of you who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about, I strongly suggest that you watch it.
NOTE: this was made about a year and a half ago one late summer night when I was off the pills and on the sugar. You’ve been warned.
Here are the new links:
The Desert I
The Desert II
The Desert III
The Desert IV
The Desert V
The Desert VI
The Desert VII
The Desert VIII
The Desert IX
The Desert X
The Desert Finale
The Desert Aftermath
Alternate Finale (watch this one after episode ten, then continue on to the aftermath)
Also, here is today’s Fillmore Fact™ (please note that yesterday’s Fact was the font thing. Yes, I’m counting that. Shut up.):
Holy crap…he was one of only two presidents to have double letters in both his first and last names! (special bonus gold star for the person who figures out who this other president was! )
What’s this? I’m blogging in the middle of the day? WTF?
Well, biology lab doesn’t start until next week, and band doesn’t start until next week, so I don’t have any classes today!
So I decided, because I’m bored and have nothing to do, rather than a normal Fillmore Fact™, I would provide for you a taste of my (crappy) Flash skills.
This short film explores Cheech and Chong’s “Dave” by placing Dave (movie president; it’ll make more sense if you’re familiar with the movie) outside the gates of heaven. When he knocks, the angel of Millard Fillmore comes to answer. Hilarity ensues.
Several notes on this short little film:
~the sound is low. Turn up the volume.
~the quality is low. That’s because I can’t animate.
~that thing in the middle is supposed to be the gates to heaven, where Fillmore resides.
~the preloader is from newgrounds.com, cause it’s the only place I could find a preloader.
~this was made in about 10 minutes.
Oh, and comments are APPRECIATED!!! (HINT HINT HINT!)
Went to five of my six classes today (statistics has been pushed back until next Wednesday), and most of them seem pretty awesome. I’m going to love psychology, especially since we get to develop our own theory of personality (which I’ve already got mostly worked out–how sad is that?). Literature of Western Civilization (part 2!) is going to be rough, though. I’m scared. And biology. Don’t know how that’s going to turn out.
I haven’t used a smiley in awhile, have I?
Oh, crap! Almost forgot! Fillmore Fact™:
He had no formal education, he was a lawyer, and his nickname is the “American Louis Phillipe”…whoever that is.
Crap, I’m nervous. Why does school make me so nervous? Especially the first day…we don’t ever do anything on the first day!
This is not what I’d like to be doing right now!
He was the last of the Whigs! Holy crap, isn’t that historic? Also, here’s his very presidential-looking grave:
Twelve. I have twelve books for this semester. How much did they cost altogether? $500. How much did they weigh altogether? 48 lbs. How much did they feel like they weighed when all the weight was supported by a thin little piece of plastic bag handle? 100 lbs. Frick. ‘Twas painful.
So here’s this new thingy I wanna try. It’s going to be like a reality show, except it goes on in The Sims 2. It’s going to be an experiment involving the old high school group of Aneel, E’raina, Candida, Shannyn, Amy, and myself. We will live in this big mansion thingy and I’ll just let things go to see what happens. I will call it “SimReality.” It will premiere this Saturday. Get ready, people.
3. Obligatory FillmoreFact™:
Apparently, his last words were, upon being fed some soup, “the nourishment is palatable.”
On December 28th, I wrote this:
Who is this guy and why do I suddenly have such an obsession with him? He is, like, the ONE president absolutely NO ONE remembers. What’d he do? NOTHING! I mean he only became president because Taylor bit it. And what kind of name is “Millard”, anyway?
Well, I’ll give him points for single-handedly bringing down the grades of thousands of elementary school children across the country when they’re asked to recite the list of the Presidents of the United States and are unable to remember the name “Millard Fillmore”.
Also, bonus points must be given because he and my dad were born on the same day of the year. Perhaps that means that my dad will fall into the same obscurity as…
…oh, shoot, what’s his name, again?”
This obsession still continues. Today, I realized that it was Millard Fillmore’s birthday. So I’ve decided to declare the week of January 7th-January 14th Millard Fillmore Appreciation Week!
During this week, I declare that us (my dorky friends and I) annoy each other with random Millard Fillmore facts. I myself will be posting a random Fillmore Fact™ at the end of all my blogs.
Let’s have a cheer for America’s most obscure president!