Tag Archives: bad jokes

The Dumbest Joke in the History of Dumb Jokes

Say there are two trees growing close to one another, one with slightly darker bark than the other.
One day, the lighter-barked tree appears to have a single sheath of bark that’s slightly darker than the other bits of bark and looks like it matches that of the darker-barked tree.
And the other bits of bark say to the darker bark, “Dude. You’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Crap, that isn’t even a joke; that is me with sleep deprivation plus a six-hour layover in Seattle plus the wake of a mini-freakout from last night when I woke up at my dad’s house and had NO IDEA where I was (I thought I was still in Calgary, but nothing looked familiar and I was scared).

I’m not sorry.
Hell, I’m not even coherent.

(Ignore this.)

A Doctor a Day Keeps the Apple Away

I think the more stressed I am, the more apt I am to make really, really dumb jokes.

Example: I keep my iPod Touch next to my bed couch so I have something to write down any genius ideas I come up with during the night (yeah, right).

So as I was falling asleep last night, this is the joke I thought of:

What do you call a paper towel family that’s having a siesta? Napkins!

Just kill me now.

I should be shot

So here’s another of my tasteless jokes. I don’t know if I’ve ever told any of you any of my tasteless jokes (Besides that prostitute/midget one) but here’s another one I thought up last night:

A father gong (yes, a gong) is approached one day by his daughter.
“Dad?” the teenage gong asks.
“Yes, honey?”
“Um…well…there’s no real easy way to tell you this, but…I think I’m bisexual.”
The father gong erupts into a rage. “WHAT?! BISEXUAL?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOUNG LADY? I THOUGHT YOUR MOTHER AND I RAISED YOU RIGHT!! LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!”
The young gong rus from the house, crying.
As the father gong sits frozen with rage, the mother gong comes up beside him.
“I suppose she told you the news about her bisexuality?” the mother asks.
“Yes,” the father replies. “But I’m so angry. How could she do this to me after all I’ve done for her?”
“I know dear, but there’s nothing you can do.”

“You’ve simply got to let bi-gongs be bi-gongs.”