Blah Party
Life is a waste of time and I can’t wait ‘till it’s over.
HEY YOU PEOPLE WHO WERE CHILDREN IN THE MID-NINETIES:
Do you remember those nights when you got to stay up late after your parents went to bed? Do you remember when Cartoon Network went off the air (prior to Adult Swim being a thing) and having to find something else on TV to entertain yourself with?
If so, I’m sure you remember this:
This immediately brought me back to Saturday nights at my dad’s old condo. It was infomercials, Early Edition, or Baywatch once my dad went to bed.
IS IT SURVEY TIME???
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
And you are?
WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
One thing a guy needs to know about you before you get into a relationship.
I’m married! So yeah, don’t try to get in a relationship with me.
Don’t you think that running around through revolving doors is fun?
Not particularly, no.
What’s something about other people that drives you crazy?
When they can’t figure out how to WALK COURTEOUSLY DOWN THE SIDEWALK OMFG IT’S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE YOU LITTLE FARTS
What are you doing?
Watching YouTube videos and filling out this survey.
What are you thinking about?
How big of a failure I am.
What are you wearing?
A camo shirt. Underwear.
Baseball is the best sport hands down…right?
Damn straight!
Do you need to go see a counselor?
Hahahahahahahaha probably.
It’s 3 in the morning… do your parents know where you are?
Yup.
Favorite flower?
Sunflower, I guess.
Do you like chocolate?
Indeed.
Ideal date?
He doesn’t have to take me anywhere special. I just want to be able to talk to him freely.
Like the movie Elf?
It’s okay. It reminds me of junior high/high school band, ‘cause our band director ALWAYS had that as our Christmas movie we’d watch during class around the holiday.
Ok let’s talk travel, do you like to travel?
No. I used to, but I hate it now. The only thing I like about travel now is airports. I love airports. I have a problem.
Where have you been?
North America and Europe. Lots of states. Several provinces. Sweden, Finland, England.
Next place you want to go?
Can Antarctica count? I’ll never get there, but let’s count it.
What is something you MUST take with you when you travel?
My compy.
How do you like to travel?
I don’t.
With someone, or alone?
Alone.
Do you dance in your car when there are other people with you?
Sometimes. This is giving me flashbacks to that time I was back in Moscow and my little gang and I were driving around blasting the Numa Numa song AS LOUD AS WE COULD and doing the Numa Numa dance in the car. With the trunk open.
Say your having a bad day… what makes it better?
Brooding.
Best feeling in the world?
Success.
Worst?
Failure.
If your quiet what does it mean?
Meh. I’m pretty quiet most of the time I’d say.
Something that makes you smile?
Cats!
Do you have trust issues?
Ha.
Do you mind watching chick flicks?
Nah, they’re okay.
What about … movies like…. Gladiator or The Last Samurai?
I’ve never seen either of those.
Favorite scent?
I have anosmia, bro.
Favorite store?
Probably Walmart or something ‘cause I’m pathetic.
Say you wanted coffee.. what kind is your favorite?
I don’t drink coffee.
Favorite kind of pizza?
Cheese + olives. Supreme is good though, too.
Do you get embarrassed easily?
Meh.
What about feel awkward?
Always.
Do you mind people asking you personal questions?
Nah.
You have a tank of gas, $50, and the day off… what do you do?
Stay home. Save the money. I’d rather be at home, anyway.
When’s your birthday?
Groundhog Day!
Favorite tv show?
Chicago Hope is still the best thing ever. Fight me.
Song you turn the volume up all the way to listen to?All of them Sleepyhead, Running Away, Blinding Lights.
Something you keep in your car?
I don’t have a car.
Highlight of your day?
That it’s ending soon.
If you need a hug at 3 in the morning, who do you ask?
I don’t ask anyone, but I know who I would ask.
DO you ask?
Nope, but I know I can. That’s good enough for me.
BOO!
GHOSTS!
Did I scare you?
Nah.
Something you do everyday that you wish you didn’t have to do?
Exist.
What do you do when you like someone?
Obsess.
Do you mind if people just show up at your house unannounced?
Yes. Go away.
What do you do when you disagree with someone?
I usually don’t say anything if it’s something where disagreeing would not be worth it.
Do you enjoy rain?
I FREAKING HATE RAIN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You love Jesus, yes?
I suppose he was a cool dude.
Hark! A Pointless Blog!
So this song came up on shuffle today:
I hadn’t heard it in a while and I forgot what a tremendous feeling of anxiety that opening gives me.
Why, you ask?
(Shut up, just pretend you asked.)
Well, we were going to play this in band in 7th grade. We didn’t have any oboe players to play that opening solo thingy at 2:18, so being the nerdiest band nerd that ever nerded, I said, “hey Mr. Garrett, I’ll learn oboe, an instrument I’ve never even touched!” So I got my hands on an oboe and had about three weeks to learn how to play it (and play it well enough to do the solo thingy). I remember being so incredibly anxious about it every single time we practiced and, of course, when we performed it. I can’t remember how badly I botched it, but I’m sure I botched it quite nicely.
Anyway.
Also, cannons have nothing on the MAHLER HAMMER!
I feel like GARBAGE
I haven’t felt this absolutely shitty in a long time. Not sure what’s going on, but I definitely don’t feel like blogging today.
Sorryz.
Quaker
This is super interesting.
I was one year old when this happened, so I obviously don’t remember it, and I don’t think I’ve ever read or heard too much of the details, either. I think the most fascinating part of this is how calm everyone seemed to be in the stadium. Maybe Californians have a different response to earthquakes than most people because of where they’re located, but it seems like if this had happened anywhere else, it would have been chaos.
(Are smiley fries a thing in the States?)
That one friend who’s always cold:
Chief Chef
“Claudia, why do you make dinner at 4 AM when no one is around?”
Because this is essentially how every evening cooking endeavor goes, including the despair, lack of cooking skills, and having something entirely different from what I set out to make.
Y’all.
If I was an eccentric billionaire, this thing would be my ride.
Like, just the cab. I wouldn’t attach a trailer to it or anything; I’d just zooma-zoom around town in that cab. I mean, look at it:
Doesn’t that just look like something I’d drive around in? That freaking windshield wiper propeller is so totally me.
Edit: if I was an eccentric billionaire, I’d actually probably still walk everywhere. I’d drive this to go get groceries every week or something.
Edit 2: I could attach a trailer, fill the trailer with groceries, and then drop off the groceries to like homeless shelters and stuff.
I miss malls
Thanks to COVID, I haven’t been in a mall since I got my hair cut at Market Mall right at the start of all this (mid-February I think). And man…I miss malls.
That might seem like the most frivolous thing to say, I know. People are sick, people are dying, people are losing their jobs and businesses, and I miss malls?
Yes.
Malls aren’t just OMFG SHOPPIGN!!!!!!!!1!1! for me. They represent normality in a lot of different ways. My dad and I always went to the Palouse Mall on Saturdays. He’d give me $20 and an hour to go wander off and spend it before we met up again and went home. When I moved to Vancouver, I made malls my destinations on my walks (which started my “Canadian Mall” series on my blog) and would always take the bus back home. In Calgary, malls have still been a common destination on my walks, especially North Hill, Brentwood, and Market Mall. And, of course, walking to Westbrook Mall is my absolute favorite walk in the whole city.
So yeah. Malls have always been a big part of my life, and not just for the shopping aspect (in fact, most of the “shopping” I do at malls is at the grocery stores, haha).
So I guess when I say “I miss malls” I’m really just saying that I miss normality. But saying “I miss malls” makes it more concrete.
SOOOOON
The Idaho expansion pack for American Truck Simulator comes out NEXT THURSDAY!
YAY!
I’m going to drive the Lewiston hill and you’re not going to be able to stop me hehehehehehe
Test Me
I found a bunch of pseudo-scientific, not-backed-up-by-research quizzes that are supposed to tell you deep dark secrets about your personality.
But they’re a distraction from the shitstorm that is reality right now, so here y’all go.
Edit: there’s actually quite a mix of things on here. Some of them are supposedly based on research (the “screening” type tests) and some of them are just…regular calculator-based tests (the BMI test), but most of them seem relatively frivolous. Fun, though.
I know it’s only July, but…
What the hell should I do for NaNoWriMo this year? My 2010 NaNo predicted Steve Job’s death within like a half a year of his actual death (and also predicted Google Glass) and last year’s NaNo topic was freakishly similar to the COVID outbreak on the Diamond Princess at the start of this year (down to the fact that it was the SAME FREAKING SHIP), so…maybe I should write about something cheerful and good?
I have no idea, though. I have a story name, which sometimes is enough to get me started on something semi-coherent, but it would be nice to have a general story in mind.
We’ll see. It’s still a way off.
I think I found my theme song
So remember a few days ago when I posted that FloriDada song and I mentioned that I couldn’t decide if I liked it or was deeply disturbed by it?
Well, I found a lyric video to it and now that I know the lyrics, I absolutely love this freaking song.
Here is said lyric video, which is substantially less seizure-inducing than the actual music video, so if you were a feared of this song because of the music video, fear no longer!
“I don’t even know where to begin
Or how I should start these days.
The green mountain south or
The Clay of the westerns”
“I wanna discover the key
And open the everywhere place
A mix of sky from Montana
Dipped in FloriDada”
“Oh let’s go get lost in the image
I made of the everywhere place”
I freaking love these lyrics, oh my g o d
This might just be a five-star.
‘Berta Skies
ALOHA so I think I’d like to make either a Twitter account or an Instagram account dedicated to all the cool clouds, weather, and skies we see up here in Calgary (and Alberta in general). I have a lot of cool cloud and storm pictures and I think it’d be cool to put them all in one place.
Maybe I’ll do it! Maybe not. Who knows.
HAHAHA THANKS WEATHER I TOTALLY WANTED TO GET ABSOLUTELY DRENCHED TODAY
So Nate’s down visiting his family but I’m still in Calgary ‘cause I’m a fart but at least karma got me back in the form of the BIGGEST TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR I’VE EVER WALKED IN.*
I decided to walk up to the northeast part of Calgary (mistake #1). Basically, I go up about 7.5 miles to the UPS/FedEx buildings past Deefoot Mall and then go back the same way I go up.
Simple, right?
It was pretty hot today, also, so by the time I was about a mile away from turning around, I was happy that it was starting to get cloudy. Then I happened to look behind me and saw that it was getting REALLY cloudy. Like, dark death clouds.
Like summer storm clouds.
I keep walking, though, because I don’t want to shelter in the mall (COVID, obviously) and figure if I get rained on, it won’t be too bad.
I WAS WRONG OH MY WAS I WRONG.
I got freaking DRENCHED. It was insanely rainy and windy for a good ten minutes and there was nowhere I could take shelter – that part of Calgary looks like this…
…and the sparse buildings up there are like “LOL what are eaves?”
I remember that the FedEx building has a small overhang in front of its main entrance, so I finally make it up there and take shelter for a bit.
(Not that it matters at this point; I am SUPER wet.)
Another ten minutes or so and the storm finally passes. And it’s sunny and warm out again.
Here’s a video of the dramatic change in sky as I pan from west to east (after those clouds in the east had tried to drown me).
And here’s a cool shot of the dark sky behind a sunlit field.
Adventures on the Canadian prairies, am I right?
*This was NOT, however, the wettest I’ve ever gotten on a walk. That honor goes to a walk I did a few years ago where I spent the whole 15 miles in a very steady downpour. Absolutely soaked. I hated it.
Take care of your teeth, children
Or else this will happen.
FloriDADA
I can’t decide if I kinda like this or if I’m deeply disturbed.
Also warning for INSANE FLASHING between 2:30 and 3:17
Edit: the comments are great:
- its as strange as the state of florida itself
- DEAR GOD HOW MANY DRUGS WERE INVOLVED IN THIS
- imagine this being the first time you found out you had epilepsy
- I like the fact that this isn’t even the weirdest thing these guys have done.
- i love how both art styles have equal amounts of time and complement eachothe- 2:31 OK I DIDN’T MEAN THAT MUCH OH GOD MY MOUTH IS FOAMIIGHUH
- I’m going to have a wonderful death
Edit again: I CAN’T GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HAPPY LEIBNIZ DAY 2020, FOOLS!
So 2020 might suck in general, but July 1, 2020 does not suck.
Why?
Because it is the birthday of our savior Gottfried Leibniz, that’s why.
ALSO, today is the official start of my tenure-track position, so that’s coolio. Now I need to not screw up for the next three to four years and get some of that sweet, sweet tenure nectar.
So it’s a good day amidst all the madness I guess.
Edit: Oh my god, this remix.
The Walking: Halfway Through the Year
What is UP, my nerdy turds?
Tomorrow is a “let’s start a brand new pair of Kinvaras” day, which means tonight I’ve downloaded all my walking data for the current set of shoes so that I can add it to the Excel file containing all my walking data since I moved to Calgary in 2014.
I feel like I’ve been more consistent than ever with my “15 miles a day” thing, so I was curious to see how this year compared, so far, with 2017 (my record walking year).
In 2017, I had walked a cumulative total of 2433.19 miles by June 30.
This year, I’ve walked a cumulative total of 2545.84 miles by June 30.
…I’m ahead of 2017’s pace? Not only that, but I’m more than halfway to a cumulative total of 5,000 miles by the middle of the year?
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
Well, now I need to try for it again. I need to try for another 5,000+ mile year. Not only would it be cool to have that total again, but it would be a good way to show everyone who has doubted my ability to repeat 2017’s walking distance that 2017 was not a fluke.
BRING IT ON!
S-s-s-summer
AAAAAAAAAAA SUMMER CLASSES START TODAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
This will be my first full semester online. It will also be the first time I’ve taught two classes in a short semester since I taught STAT 213 and STAT 217 a few springs ago.
Hopefully it will all go okay. My two classes are back-to-back, though, which means I’ll be talking for four hours straight on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays…not sure how my voice is going to handle that. I guess we’ll see.
SHORT BLOG SORRY BYE
GUESS THE ‘SCOW, EARN SOME POINTS
So y’all know Geoguessr, right? Well, my wonderful husband made a Moscow map for me because I’m beyond homesick and I neeeeeeeed the Palouse.
It’s super fun. Go check it out!
I also love how I lived in Moscow for about 23 years total and still don’t know the damn street names.
Eigenblogger 