Damn this infernal 95 character limit! I have witty things to say in my titles! This is crap!
Following the Ag Sci computer lab debacle this afternoon (don’t even ask), I went to the library to do some statistics homework on the computer (I needed SAS). In the end, I ended up using Microsoft Word quite a bit, too. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem; however, the computers here in the library updated over Christmas break to the new Microsoft Office 2007, as you all probably know. Normally I stay clear of this new abomination unto mankind as much as I can, but today it was unavoidable. So two hours later when my struggle with the new Microsoft Word 2007 was over, I decided to blog about my experience with it. So here it is.
If Wiki says it, it must be true.
This is the most counter-intuitive program I’ve ever seen. You know how everyone else always used to complain that Microsoft Word was too difficult to navigate, and that tables were too difficult to construct, and the numbering system was too stubborn to even try to manipulate? Well, if they’d spent any time actually trying to figure things out, they would have realized that the old versions of Microsoft Word were very easily manipulated. I, for one, can manipulate my version of Microsoft Word on my laptop (Microsoft 2003, I refuse to upgrade) to do anything I wish. Tables, numberings, etc.
Now, can you do these things the same way you used to, using the new Microsoft Word 2007?
No. You have to learn a whole new way of manipulating things.
Lies, all of it, lies!
The absolute worst thing about the new Microsoft Office 2007 is the default settings. The old ones worked perfectly fine: Times New Roman font, set at size 12, with single-spacing. Classic, simple. So what do they implement in the new version? An entirely new user interface. The new font is called “Calibri,” and it looks like this:
Such a statement would look so much more elegant in TNR.
Calibri sounds an awful lot like Cabrini to me—Cabrini as in Cabrini Greens, probably one of the worst housing project failures in the history of Chicago. So already, even before, I began typing in it, Calibri brought to mind a disaster. And that’s essentially what it is.
I’m not saying the font as a font is bad, I’m saying the font as a default font is bad. Microsoft, I’m pretty sure you’re aware of the fact that your products (such as, oh I don’t know, MICROSOFT WORD) are used quite often in academia. I don’t know what you know about academia, Bill Gates, so I’m assuming you know a lot—after all, you’re freaking Bill Gates—but here’s something your new product does not demonstrate you know: professors really, really like Times New Roman. They really, really like it to be 12-point size. And they really, really like double-spacing.
So what does Microsoft give us as a default font to replace their previous default font that had been working perfectly fine for years and years?
CALIBRI. In SIZE 11. With MULTIPLE LINE SPACING. I can see the letters just pouring into Microsoft’s mailroom:
I should so send this.
I must admit, however, that there are some pretty cool new features to this ’07 version of Microsoft Word. I can’t remember what they are now, though, ’cause the positive has been overshadowed by the freaking horrible default settings.
I don’t care what you say about making it more “user fluent” or whatever term you’re using. This is a disaster, Microsoft. Fix it.
I tried flying by the seat of my pants, but I couldn’t get them certified by the FAA.
Three points of interest today.
1. I need a name for my animations/artwork. Like a business name.
I really need to get back into my artsy-fartsy mindset. I used to be really good at portraits. Plus, I want to start a webcomic, mainly because I’ve been reading PhDComics waaaaaaaaaay too much as of late. But most importantly, my Flash projects! They’re needing a name to go with their crappiness.
So here were my initial thoughts:
Interrobang Productions. If you don’t know what an interrobang is, I feel very, very sorry for you (after all, it’s only the best punctuation mark ever). Unfortunately, that’s already taken.
Mahler Media. It’s FREAKING TAKEN! Damn you, [insert first name here] Mahler in Germany who decided to start making Flash animations before me!
So here was one I just recently thought of:
Irony Mark Productions (or Irony Mark Media, whichever sounds the best). An irony mark is another rarely used punctuation mark; it’s basically a horizontally-flipped question mark. I think it would be a really good name for my crap. Plus, it’s not taken, according to Google. And, if you think it sounds cooler, I could use the alternate name for it and be Snark Productions. Makes me sound arrogant. I like it.
2. Did you ever have one of those “what the hell am I doing in college” moments? Yeah. That was essentially my whole day today. It’s like an out-of-body experience, isn’t it? I was sitting in the research lab plugging numbers for my stats homework and it hit me—what the hell am I doing here?! I can’t be in college! There’s no way I know what I’m doing enough to be given a degree at some point.
Man, I don’t know. I think these 25 credits are messing with my head.
3. I was going to do the Photobucket survey, but the freaking image tags aren’t working and there’s no way I’m uploading all those pictures onto Geocities and then pasting each one by hand into here. Sorry, guys. Maybe later.
Essentially, this is frivolity and I should be stopped
Alternate title: LOL BLOG 666 OMG WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!11!!ONE!!!
Now that the formalities are over I’d like to get right to the point: I’ve finally decided on what I’m going to analyze with a two-sample t-test in regards to my blogs.
I shall compare my “happy” blogs to my “sad” blogs (both terms to be defined further down) on various constituents (also to be defined further down).
Are you all ready for this?!?!
Goal:
Compare “sad” blogs and “happy” blogs on four independent points: number of words, number of smilies, number of exclamation points (indicative of excitement, frustration, flabbergastment, emphasis), and number of words in italics and/or in all caps (indicative of essentially the same things as exclamation points, but slightly cooler).
Definitions:
~”Happy” blog: a blog in which the mood is set to something indicative of a happy mood or an excited mood (amused, thrilled, silly, relieved, geeky/nerdy/dorky, and, of course, happy*).
~”Sad” blog: a blog in which the mood is set to something indicative of sadness, frustration, or anger (pissed, peeved, depressed, melancholy, sad, frustrated, angry*).
~Number of words: number of words in the body of the blog. The title/headings and the comments are not counted in this total.
~Number of smilies: just what it sounds like. Smilies like “:)” or “:P” used in chat dialogues are not counted.
~Number of exclamation points: as in this: !, not the number of times I say “exclamation points.”
~Number of words in italics and/or in all caps: this or THIS or THIS all count.
Method:
1) Generate an SRS of equal size n for both the happy blog data and the sad blog data
2) Collect data from said SRS
3) Analyze it in SAS
4) Bore you all to death with the results
Formulas in SAS:
proc univariate (for all variables)
proc ttest (for all variables, obviously the most important one if I’m doing t-tests!)
Procedure:
It was first figured that the population size was N = 665, as today’s blog was not counted amongst the viable samples. To determine an appropriate sample size for each category (happy and sad blogs), it was figured that a good n would amount to approximately 7% of the data. An n equal to 25 for both categories was used (thus having a total n = 50).
The blogs were numbered in a rather ingenious manner (thank you very much), and the SRS was obtained through sampling done with a random number table. If a blog obtained was deemed neither happy nor sad (indifferent blogs) it was disregarded and another random number was chosen in its place and sampling continued as normal.
Data was collected for both categories in all variables (see Raw Data) and was then analyzed using SAS. Results are displayed below in the Results section.
Raw data:
Data names: blogno; words; smilies; exclamations; italiccaps; happysad; 89 300 1 9 19 h 156 124 0 0 0 h 574 42 0 1 0 h 166 108 1 1 0 h 389 51 1 2 0 h 422 83 1 0 0 h 556 34 0 0 0 h 446 126 1 2 0 h 653 900 1 9 38 h 275 370 0 6 0 h 371 161 1 0 0 h 465 215 0 1 0 h 637 457 0 10 21 h 3 223 3 4 1 h 351 296 0 12 1 h 167 252 0 2 1 h 52 180 0 1 0 h 649 862 0 34 10 h 631 399 1 8 42 h 64 22 1 2 0 h 55 57 1 0 0 h 237 453 0 32 16 h 236 49 1 3 2 h 298 186 1 2 2 h 20 115 2 1 0 h 643 174 0 3 0 s 186 23 1 0 1 s 316 166 0 0 1 s 90 74 0 0 0 s 161 105 3 3 14 s 115 76 2 2 3 s 439 131 0 1 0 s 522 370 0 3 8 s 202 70 1 1 3 s 8 360 1 15 1 s 381 1258 0 18 38 s 468 128 0 0 2 s 12 59 0 0 0 s 41 21 0 0 0 s 474 174 1 0 0 s 425 459 0 0 0 s 265 236 0 2 1 s 311 64 1 0 0 s 363 5734 0 3 2 s 518 310 0 0 1 s 579 181 1 0 0 s 497 81 0 0 0 s 416 414 0 1 0 s 385 59 0 0 0 s
Results:
OH ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?! This is intense, people.
First up: the results of the univariate procedures for each variable. These data are for the whole sample, remember.
Words
Mean: 336.36 (standard deviation = 815.33)
Minimum: 21
Maximum: 5734
Smilies
Mean: 0.56 (standard deviation = 0.76)
Minimum: 0
Maximum: 3
Exclamation Points
Mean: 3.88 (standard deviation = 7.26)
Minimum: 0
Maximum: 34 (thirty-four exclamation points in a single blog? Good lord)
Italicized and/or All Caps Words
Mean: 4.56 (standard deviation =10.17)
Minimum: 0
Maximum: 42
Second: t-test results!
Words
Mean number of words in happy blogs: 242.6
Mean number of words in sad blogs: 430.12
Using –=.05, the results of the two-sample t-test showed that there was not a significant difference in the mean number of words in the two types of blogs. Though it sure looks like it from comparing the two, doesn’t it? That’s stats for ya.
Smilies
Mean number of smilies in a happy blog: 0.68
Mean number of smilies in a sad blog: 0.44
Sorry guys, this one isn’t showing a significant difference in the means, either. I guess I’m pretty constant with my particulars in my blogs, regardless of how I’m feeling.
Exclamation Points
Mean number of exclamation points in a happy blog: 5.68
Mean number of exclamation points in a sad blog: 2.08
Ooh, we were pretty close on this one! When I saw this result I was tempted to raise my alpha level to .1, thus making this one statistically significant, but then I figured that would be data manipulation, so I didn’t do it. Praise me!
Italicized and/or All Caps words
Mean number of italicized and/or words in all caps in a happy blog: 6.12
Mean number of italicized and/or words in all caps in a sad blog: 3
You guessed it—the means are not statistically significantly different. Strange, huh?
Now you may be thinking I did all this for nothing. Quite the contrary! We’ve learned from a sample of 50 blogs that, according to the data, my happy and sad blogs do not differ in a statistically significant manner on four key points. I find that interesting, myself.
As for you, well…you’re probably nodding off right now, so I’ll stop here.
*Does not encompass all moods used for defining the categories. I could have gone through and listed them all, but I’m too lazy for that.
She didn’t blind me with science, she blinded me with a laser pointer! And it was on purpose!
Okay people.
This is the last blog before the apocalyptic 666 blog tomorrow. If you find me pinned to the ceiling of my dorm room with thumbtacks and the sign of satan scrawled across my lifeless body, you’ll know why.
Anyway.
Things that are awesome:
Awesome music is awesome. Duh. What’s even more awesome is really beautiful music. Examples:
-The Kiss by Deep Forest. This is off of their “Pacifique” album. Probably the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.
-Farewell by Apocalyptica. That sounds like an awful metal band doesn’t it? What it is in actuality is a bunch of dudes on cellos playing, essentially, death metal. Yes, you read that right: death metal with cellos. It’s the coolest thing ever, I swear. Though Farewell is not so death-metally.
-One by Apocalyptica. A little more death-metally than Farewell, but cool nonetheless.
-The Swan by Camille Saint-Saens. From Carnival of the Animals. I did a real depressing monologue in my Theatre 105 class to this my freshman semester.
www.passiveagressivenotes.com is also very awesome.
Brian Regan is awesome.
And now I’ve run out of things to list that are awesome.
Sad.
I was going to do a few album covers tonight, but…yeah. That wouldn’t have fit in with the whole “awesome” theme.
I almost flew off the handle last night until I realized I didn’t have wings…
Ahh, Sean, where would I be without you?
Well, I’d be looking up rarely used words online at 2:00 in the morning all alone, that’s where.
This was fun. It was inspired by our Psych of Emotion class, in which our teacher claimed there was no exact English word for the German word Schadenfreude. It turns out there is—it’s epicaricacy. We found it on this online dictionary full of a bunch of rarely used words.
So here are some interesting ones in my opinion, plus some fun snippets of our conversation.
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: this is a goldmine for confusing people
*hsus says: hell yes
*hsus says: bookmarked
Xenodocheiorology: love of hotels and inns
Acritochromacy: colorblindness
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Tittup
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: To prance
*hsus says: haha
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: I’m so using that in everyday conversation
*hsus says: good luck
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: “Tittup over there and get me those papers!”
*hsus says: wow, you really need to be a teacher
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Haha
*hsus says: ‘cos for some reason that fits perfectly
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Final exam: “Tittup or F in the class. It’s up to you to figure out what that means”
*hsus says: haha
*hsus says: that’s cruel
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: But oh so funny
Adoxography: good writing on a trivial subject
Adscititious: superfluous
*hsus says: “oh, we’re covering this?”
*hsus says: “why, do you think we shouldn’t?”
*hsus says: “well, I’m just saying it’s a bit…adscititious is all”
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Haha
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: “But…but we’re not talking about acid at all”
Sacerdotophrenia: clerical stage fright
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Haha, schediasm
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Impromptu work
*hsus says: nice
*hsus says: that also describes my pscyh papers
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Same here
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: And essentially every other paper I’ve written/will write
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Freud paper? OH SHIT
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Doctorate thesis? OH SHIT
Obdormition: when a limb “goes to sleep”
Steatopygous: pertaining to or characterized by a large buttocks
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Parasigmatism
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Inability to pronounce the sound “s”
*hsus says: awesome
Leibniz Rocks My Socks says: Which would suck to tell someone you have, seeing as it has two “s”s in it
*hsus says: “I have para-…para-…fuck it”
Perissotomist: a knife-happy surgeon
Waiter! There’s a Super Nova in my ANOVA! How in the World…?
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the first actual statistical analysis of my blogs. It’s a crappy one (just a SRS + proportion estimate) because I couldn’t think of anything else that was interesting and thus couldn’t think of anything worthy of a two-sample t-test. So disappointing!
But anyway.
Goal of analysis: to discover what proportion of my blogs are surveys.
Method:
1) estimate several bounds
2) using the best estimated bound, calculate an acceptable sample size (n) from which to gather data.
3) use data gathered in step 2 to calculate the total population proportion of blogs that are surveys with a reasonable bound on the error of estimation.
Formulae used:
To estimate appropriate sample size:
To estimate population proportion:
To estimate variance and bound on the error of estimation, respectively:
Procedure:
The initial N was 663, as that was the total number of blogs. It was found best to set p = .5, as that would give us the most conservative estimate and a sample size larger than would be necessary. Several magnitudes of B were plugged into the sample size equation, and the best was found to be B = .17. This was used in the sample size equation and an n of 33 was obtained.
Using a random numbers table, a SRS of 33 blogs was obtained. Each specific blog was looked up and marked as to whether or not it contained a survey. Results from this SRS are below (a ‘0’ indicates no survey, a ‘1’ indicates a survey):
Blog Survey?
139 0
163 0
198 0
41 0
145 0
66 0
301 0
253 0
380 1
2 0
408 1
400 0
440 1
259 1
351 0
273 0
487 0
183 0
599 1
510 0
473 0
170 0
534 0
257 0
279 0
151 0
394 0
186 0
604 1
577 0
388 0
568 1
221 0
These results were used in the calculation of the total population proportion of the proportion of blogs that were surveys. The result of this equation was .21. The variance of the data in the SRS was then calculated (=.007405213) and then used to calculate the bound on the error of estimation, which came out to be .17.
Therefore, we can extrapolate that 21% +/- 17% of my blogs are surveys. Or, anywhere from 4% to 38% of my blogs are surveys.
Yes, yes, I know that’s a horrible, horrible bound on the error of estimation (seriously, 17% either way?! Blasphemy!) but I don’t think you realize how hard it is to actually go back and figure out the specific number of each blog I’ve ever written. There are 663 of them, you know.
So yeah. That’s all I’ve done tonight, basically. Do you people have any ideas for possible blog-related things I could statistically analyze? I’m dyin’ here.
Haha, bouts of severe vertigo are fun
Did you ever get that? You’re walking down a flight of stairs and suddenly you get really, really dizzy and have to sit down cause you feel like the earth is moving under your feet? It was rather freaky, if I do say so myself.
Anyway…
Philosophy today seals the deal. Leibniz is my philosopher for the party. Case closed.
IMPORTANT NOTE: when the heck should we have this? AND: you people need to invite more than just yourselves. Anyone who seems remotely fun and who would seem to remotely like to hang out with a bunch of dorks in togas and 17th century costumes who may or may not be philosophizing the whole time (depends on how we swing—philosophers can party, too!), invite them. Just tell me who they are, first.
Onward!
Haha, best comment I’ve ever gotten on a paper in college so far: “It was really well written after the first two pages of rambling. A.”
This was for that paper on Descartes I told you all about. I love Dr. Cannon.
Okay.
So tonight I went on YouTube and essentially watched every sad music video/movie ending I could find. It was a good thing. After all, I haven’t bawled my eyes out in like two weeks, so I was way overdue.
Then I watched the director’s cut ending of The Butterfly Effect and I freaking lost it.
I don’t think I’ve cried that much in months. I think it was the combination of the actual movie ending and the memories surrounding the movie itself.
But I think it was a good thing, you know? The past clings to us like soap residue on a body sponge. Sometimes you just need to leave it under running water for a while.
And that was the best metaphor ever conceived.
I feel better now.
Oh, and do this: go to Wikipedia, and type in “rabbit’s foot.” Read the first sentence under that entry.
Your Blogs Suck, Mine are Better!
You know I’m kidding, of course. I seriously want to avoid alienating you people, cause if I do that, then who will come to my philosophy party?
HOLY CRAP…there are several full episodes of Chicago Hope uploaded onto MySpace! HOLY CRAP!
Life is really, really, really good. Plus, it helps that I have spaghetti and Mr. B’s Lost Shorts from MST3K in my DVD player (not spaghetti and the DVD in the DVD player, I have spaghetti in a bowl. The DVD is in the DVD player. Just thought a clarification was needed there), AND I’m planning an epic Flash.
Plus, one more album cover! I was trying for simplicity on these. And I’ve resorted to actually looking up cool-sounding names and subsequent matching/cool-looking pictures. No more randomness, sorry, I could only take it for so long!
Blog 660: Leibniz, Leibniz, Leibniz! (Get out of my pool!)
OH.
MY.
GOD.
You all know my love of Voltaire and his absolutely brilliant novella Candide, correct? Of course you do. If you didn’t by this point I’d be seriously disturbed.
Well anyway.
You all know (maybe) that the main target of Voltaire’s satire was Gottfried Leibniz’ philosophy, particularly his now infamous claim that we live in the best of all possible worlds (Pangloss in Candide preached this philosophy throughout the whole book, you may recall).
Let me tell you something: you have not LIVED until you actually sit down and READ Leibniz, particularly his Discourse on Metaphysics. The thing is so absolutely ridiculous and nonsensical that it is quite possibly the best piece of philosophical work in existence.
Let me elaborate:
God is an absolutely perfect being who has metaphysical and moral perfection, according to Leibniz. That is, he has perfect power and knowledge and does everything for the best. He criticizes Descartes and Spinoza respectively for putting subordinate to god’s will his intellect and putting subordinate god’s intellect to his will. Leibniz says that god’s will and intellect are both substantial and perfect; thus, it is not possible for god’s will to be indifferent, and because he has moral perfection, it is incompatible for god not to have chosen the best things in the world in which we live (and we are driven to assume that this is the best of all possible worlds because of this).
This is all well and good, in my opinion. Leibniz still sounds rather rational in comparison to Spinoza (freaking Spinoza…).
Just wait.
To leave us simply with this definition of god is rather inadequate. Therefore, Leibniz further develops his ideas as the Discourse goes on. He next goes on to establish what he believes to be the way that god interacts with the substances—namely, us humans. Leibniz labels us all as individual “substances”—things created by and subsequently put into harmony with one another by god. He kind of relates this to Aristotle’s ideas of the primary substance, which I won’t really get into save to say that Leibniz elaborates on it a little further—he states that we—each of us, individually—are individual substances and “complete beings.” Ourselves, our substances, include our entire history and our future of everything that has occurred or will occur to the substance (us). Basically, we’re everything that we’ve ever done, everything we’ve ever experienced, everything we’ll ever do, and everything we’ll ever experience. We cannot know about our substances a priori, but god can. Thus, god sees from every individual substance’s viewpoint (every individual human) all at once, and all their lifespan can be seen at once by him.
That’s still okay, pretty much, right?
Okay.
Now imagine this scenario: I walk up to you tomorrow and give you a good slap on the cheek. Common sense would tell us that the substance that is “I” just hit the substance that is “you,” right? In other words, two substances just interacted, correct?
Not to good ol’ Leibniz!
There are no interactions between substances, he says. Substances are entirely independent of each other. Each is simply a perspective on the entire universe that is free of any influence of any other substance. But then how on earth, you may be asking yourself, does it appear that we substances interact with each other on a daily basis?
Simple!
Remember when I said Leibniz felt that god could know every individual’s substance in its entirety, from way back at the beginning of its history to the moment it dies? And remember how he said god could see every single substance’s perspective?
This is where Leibniz makes the claim of the century: because of god’s ability to see everybody’s history and future, he can essentially “align” everybody’s what I’m going to call “linear time and action paths” (pretty cool-sounding, eh?) so that it appears that subjects are interacting.
So remember when I said imagine me giving you a good slap to the cheek a few paragraphs ago? Yep, god planned for that. He “saw it coming,” I guess you could say, and “aligned” our two linear time and action paths so at the very moment when my substance (“me”) was making a move as if to slap, your substance (“you”) feels as if they were just slapped. All without no interactions between substances whatsoever!
This freaking blows my mind for several reasons:
1) I’m actually shocked more satires weren’t produced off of this guy. I mean, Candide didn’t even touch this “god pulls on the matrix of life so that everything’s lined up perfectly and we’re all kept in this illusion that we’re actually interacting” thing.
2) Why in the world is this guy even in our repertoire of “famous philosophers we should study”? Why is this horribly fantastical philosophy still even considered? Is it because it’s such an epic failure? Seriously, the thing has a “WTF” factor to rival scientology. In fact, it may surpass scientology. Observe:
3) This was the one and only cartoon-worthy thing I could think of. I’m disappointed in myself. It’s so dumb.
Leibniz, I freaking love you, man. I’m totally adopting your philosophy as my religion. Leibnizm.
He is now the frontrunner in “the philosopher Claudia is going to dress up as” for my little party. And he edges out Voltaire only because he’s primarily considered a philosopher and Voltaire’s primarily a writer/satirist/sexy man.
A Blog in Its Purest Form
I broke down and downloaded the Sousa march we’re playing in concert band today. I couldn’t freaking take it anymore. I’d promised myself, “no more Sousa marches! You have like ten of them!” But NO, my weakness prevailed and I’ve added yet another Sousa march to my iTunes library.
I also broke down and did three more albums. Observe!
Yeah, I totally photoshopped (well, altered in Flash) this one, too. Put the clock hands on the moon. Also, isn’t the font that the words “Disjoint” and “Don’t Panic” are in awesome? It’s called “astigma” and it’s from fonts.com.
Actually, I think that’s the only thing I like about this design. The clock hands are kinda cool, though.
Forget Physician, Heal Thyself, I’m calling my hypothetical band Schadenfreude. This cover, if I do say so myself, owns.
Okay, I’ll admit it, I purposely sought this picture out. It does fit quite wonderfully, though, doesn’t it? And I like how I made the wording colored so closely to the sky that it makes your eyes hurt. A band called Cloudbuster would totally want that.
Also, I’ve discovered a few new songs that I will recommend for you good readers. Yes indeed, you read my blogs and are therefore subject to my preferences regarding music. Isn’t life grand?!
1: Breathe (LMC Extended Club Mix) by Erasure. Electronica at it’s finest, my friends. This now tops my “play count” on iTunes.
2: Hide & Seek (DJ Russ Harris Extended Mix) by Imogen Heap. If you’ve listened to Hide and Seek the regular version, this is even cooler in it’s own special way.
3: Dreaming of You by The Coral. This is totally different than the first two songs. For one, it’s not techno (I know, shocking!).
Okay I’m done.
Spinoza! Descartes! Am I going to have to separate you two?
Holy crap, I just went antiquing and found the COOLEST WRISTWATCH IN EXISTENCE!
The thing is like the size of a half dollar. No, it’s even bigger than that! It’s like two half-dollars! How absolutely impractical is that?! Plus, the elastic strap is too big to fit around my wrist, so if I’m going to ever wear this I’m either going to have to move it up further on my arm (thus looking even more super cool) or strap it onto my ankle or something. Maybe I’ll just tack it onto my wall as a miniature wall clock. Best. Find. Ever. Ooh! And I also got a little Pillsbury Doughboy figurine for free. It’s like a dog toy. Bliss.
And, of course, bliss = survey, so off we go!
1. How many songs do you have in your music library?
1,161 (I did a mass cleanup and I still haven’t put my Candide audiobook chapters back up).
2. What song best describes your life right now?
“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” by Daft Punk. Why? A) it’s awesome, and my life is going that route right now and B) the title (and thus about 80% of the lyrics) summarizes how I want to be in my life.
3. Where do you see yourself living in six months?
Actually, Sean and I were talking and he wants to get about seven people together and rent a house all together outside of campus. I’d totally go for that, cause I’m so freaking sick of the dorms. Plus I’ve got this insatiable urge to cohabitate with strangers all of a sudden. Yeah, I know, what’s up with that?!
4. What are you good at that few others are?
Pushing the limits of how many credits a person can withstand while still getting a 4.0 and not going insane. And taking business calculus at 8:30 in the freaking morning and not killing myself/my teacher/anyone else who dares cross my path.
5. Dominant or submissive?
Who, me? I’m waaaaaaaaaay too submissive. But hopefully I’ll find someone who likes that, if you know what I mean. Oh-ho! I’m naughty.
6. What’s your best subject at school?
Hell, I don’t know. I p0wned tests and measurements, can that count as a subject?
7. Any guilty pleasures?
Haha. I’ve officially sold my soul to Macromedia via Flash.
8. Would you rather be a math major or a business major?
Math major. No question.
9. Favorite video on YouTube?
Ooh, tough. Either Daft Hands or the Yogi Bear thing (both linked in my blogs prior to this one. Curious? Seek them out, good readers!).
10. What is the last thing that made you laugh?
Well, the last question made me reminisce about the Yogi Bear thing, and thus I’m watching it right now. So, “I didn’t know this was a fucking survival horror game! I fucking shit my pants!”
11. What color hair does the object of your affections have?
Red. He’s Irish.
12. What’s the sexiest item of clothing you own?
My orange toe socks with the purple toes and the purple, turquoise, and white polka dots. Awwwww, yeah.
13. Do you have any artistic talent?
Bahaha! Have you seen my Flash animations?
14. What’s your GPA?
4.0!
15. Favorite web comic?
www.xkcd.com, by far (the most recent one is oh, so very true, by the way).
16. Ever been pregnant?
Haha, the Immaculate Conception, part II!
17. Are you afraid of death?
Nope.
18. What song best describes your love life right now?
Oh god…can I just put “White and Nerdy” and get a good laugh from everyone?
19. What was the last thing you copied and pasted?
It was a huge chunk of text, I’ll just give you a cool-sounding part: “…channeling a myriad of doubt from its origins, but succeeding in…”
20. Do you have a favorite forum you visit?
Clock Crew BBS, bitches!
21. Any fetishes?
Mild fat fetish, but you’d probably never guess it unless I told you.
22. What is the best thing you’ve ever found on eBay?
THOSE FREAKING AUTHENTIC VINTAGE 1960s BELLBOTTOM PANTS, BABY!!!
23. Boxers or briefs?
On me or on a guy? Briefs for me, boxers for a guy.
24. Do you spend more time on MySpace or Facebook?
MySpace, easily.
25. Any favorite series (television, animation, etc.)?
Colin Mochrie vs. Jesus H. Christ is a fucking classic. RAB’s right up there, too.
Hooray!
An anxiety-ridden week gives rise to…
Boredom!
Why is it that boredom = survey?
I’m sure I could offer you one of my proofs, but…
…I’m bored. And thus I don’t want to do squat.
I’ll give you three guesses as to what you’re going to get in this blog:
1) a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see me dressed like Elton John
2) a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see me strip naked and act like Elton John
3) a survey
The correct answer is…
Guess 3!
Though guesses 1 and 2 will be performed per request.
This is a music survey. Through it, you can share your taste in music to your friends.
Open your iTunes library and sort your songs by genre. Choose your favorite song from each genre listed and write them here!
Alternative
Fidelity by Regina Spektor
Alternative & Punk
True to Me by Metro Station
Blues
iTunes classifies my version of the Macarena as Blues music, so I guess the Macarena…
Children’s Music
Bananaphone by Raffi!
Christian & Gospel
On the Third Day by Michael Olson (yes, I do in fact have a song classified under “Christian & Gospel.” I have two, in fact. They’re quite good).
Classical
Valdres March performed by the Eastman Wind Ensemble (I. Love. This. Song.)
Comedy
Shoes by Kelly
Country
Not Ready to Make Nice by The Dixie Chicks
Dance
Call on Me (Radio Edit) by Erik Prydz
Electronic
Starry Eyed Surprise by Paul Oakenfold
Electronica/Dance
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger by Daft Punk
Folk
Losing the Will to Survive by Findlay Brown
Hip-Hop/Rap
Where’d You Go by Fort Minor
Holiday
Carol of the Bells by The Bird and the Bee (a very haunting version of the song)
Indie Rock
Dreaming of You by The Coral
Jazz
Antonia by Stefano Bollani
Latin
Hero by Enrique Iglesias
Metal
Farewell by Apoctalyptica (beautiful song!)
New Age
Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield
Pop
Another Postcard by The Barenaked Ladies
R&B
(empty for lack of R&B songs)
R&B/Soul
Shake Your Booty by KC and the Sunshine Band
Rock
First Date Mullet by Pony Pony Run Run
Soundtrack
Disco Inferno by The Trammps (off the soundtrack for Mystery Men)
Trance
Omnibus by Lautsprecher
Vocal
You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban
World
Bulla Ki Jana by Rabbi Shergill
The quadratic formula? The quadratic formula?! I asked for a Mobius band on rye, you dolt!
So I was rereading my blogs a few minutes ago, and I read this for the first time after typing it:
69. What is your favorite Disney movie?
Either Aladdin (because of Jafar) or Beauty and the Beast (because of Lumiere. Is it sad that I find an anthropomorphic candelabrum attractive? And the fact that I felt so when I was like eight years old?).
And I’ve decided that I am either really, really funny, or really, really pathetic. Tell me, dear readers, which of the two options is the case?
Anyway, two items of humor today.
1. I don’t know if any of you have watched this yet, but it’s by the same guy who did the Yogi Bear thing. In fact, the Yogi Bear thing is referenced. Heavily. Start at 5:38.
2. Ivor Biggun and his perverted songs are giving The Bloodhound Gang and their “The Bad Touch” a run for their money.
Go here. Listen to “All of These Things Are Soul.” Is it just me, or is this really freaking funny? Also listen to, if you haven’t already, the “Bras on 45” song. Even better, listen to it with a visual accompaniment!*
Also, this is not nearly as funny (bagpipe music), but I like it (listen to “Udu Boy”).
Further note: Excitement! Elaboration pending.
End of blog.
*Yes, I’ve posted this before, but I don’t know if any of you have ever watched it.
My Torso has a first name, it’s “S-T-E-V-E”…wait, that’s not right…
New obsession: making album covers using that little trick I had listed on the 7th. Here are three more, ranked by how much I like them (worst to best).
3
Band: °Celcius
Album: Limits of the World
Hit Single: Wicked Cool
(I swear, I did not coordinate the band name, hit single, and picture I got. All coincidence. Pretty cool, eh?)
2
Band: Technical Atmosphere (probably the best random Wikipedia search ever)
Album: Better than a Thesis (probably the best end-of-a-quote-random search ever.
Didn’t have a hit single for this one, cause I didn’t think it would look good on the album.
Finally…
1
Band: Icarus
Album: End of the Day
Hit Single: Time to Learn
Alright. With this one, I took a little artistic license. Here is the original picture. I put the wings on myself, cause I was thinking “you know, Icarus…wings…the sun…how perfect!). Tell me if the wings look real (and did you notice how I had to bring the sky upwards as well? Betcha can hardly see the line where I matched the colors!).
I love this stuff. I recommend you try it. I’ve been lucky with good Wikipedia searches (not getting, like, “List of Olympic Javelin Champions 1888-2008” or anything weird like that). It’s fun.
Haha, Apple, use a better font
My readers, I have one question for you all…
Also, Apple, you need to pick a better font for your updates, okay? swear I do not have this horrendously illegible font on my computer…which makes me wonder how it is showing up at all…
Blog 649: in which Claudia Realizes She Blogs Far Too Much. And Then Decides to Get a Taco.
Dangit, Maggie, stop doing surveys!
1. Obsessed with sex?
Obsessed with talking about it. Not so much the act. In fact, it’s quite the opposite when it comes to the actual act.
2. Shorter than 5’3″?
Shut up! You don’t know me! You can’t judge me!
3. In your pajamas?
No, actually, I’m 5’4″ in my pajamas.
4. Left-handed?
I’m Q-handed, does that count?
LAST:
1. Last friend you saw:
Sean, Sean, Bo-Bean, Banana-Fanna-Fo Fean, Fe-Fi-mo Mean…Sean!
(he’d totally kill me if he saw that)
2. Talked to on the phone:
My mom!
3. Person to text message you:
No one!
FAVORITE:
1. Number:
11
2. Season?
Summer
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
Q: What was the first thing you did this morning when you got up?:
Thought, “Friday, yay!” Then, “Stats test, crap!”
Q: Do you have anything bothering you?:
How I did on my stats test.
Q: What’s the last movie you watched and who’d you watch it with?:
I can’t even remember the last time I watched a movie.
Q: Where is the last place you went?:
Rec center!
Q: Do you wish upon STARS?:
Hell yeah! Fun fact: It makes no difference where they are.
Q: Where did you sleep last night?:
A bed.
Q: Why did you sleep there?
It was a bed.
Q: When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday.
Q: What are you about to do?:
Prance around.
Q: What do you hear right now?:
TV.
Q: What’s your favorite date?
Behold:
(it’s a date fruit, get it? Get it?!)
Q: How many kids do you want/have?:
AAAAAAA KIDS GET THEM AWAY!
TEN FACTS
1. Hometown:
Moscow, ID
2. Natural hair color:
Black
3. Height:
5’3″ (5’4″ in my pajamas)
4. Eye color:
Hazel.
8. Favorite color(s)?:
Orange, lime green, hot pink, yellow.
9. Most important thing(s) in the world?:
Success!
11. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?:
No comment.
12. Are you a frog?:
No, I’m Halifax. I’m 5’3″, except when I’m in my pajamas, in which case I’m 5’4″. Nice to meet you!
13. Have you ever had your heart broken?:
I put the pieces back together using glitter glue! Pain = no more, glittery organ that pumps blood = yay!
14. Have you ever broken someone else’s heart?
Not to the best of my recollection. And if I ever did, my glitter glue is theirs to be had.
15. If you could go back in time and change things would you?:
Yes.
16. Do you think you’re a good bf/gf?:
Heck yes! In the short time I was one, I think I was pretty good.
17. Do you believe that everyone deserves a second chance?:
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…sure.
19. Like anyone right now?:
Teehee!
20. Do they like you?:
They talk to me, does that count?
FIRSTS:
24. First piercing
Ears
25. First failing grade:
NEVER! BWA-HA-HA!
26. First sport you joined:
T-ball. Yeah, guys, I totally was in a sport!
27. First pet:
Cat. Wooder?
28. First vacation?
Missouri? (Haha, Maggie, you typed in “Canada” as your answer and I glanced at it real fast and thought it read “Claudia”—I was all “wtf you’ve never vacationed in me!” And now I’m laughing because that sounded incredibly, incredibly dirty.)
LASTS:
30. Last piercing:
Ears.
32. Last kiss:
Long, long ago.
Probably in a galaxy far, far away, I can’t remember.
C3PO was there, though.
33. Last vacation:
Band trip!!
34. Last book read:
I’ve got like 5 pages left in Machiavelli’s The Prince.
CURRENTLY
49. Eating:
Nothing!
52. I’m about to:
Do nothing!
58. Want kids:
Never!
59. Want to get married:
Never!
WHICH IS BETTER FOR A BF/GF?
68. Lips or eyes:
Eyes.
69. Hugs or kisses:
Kissy-kissy-poo! (vomit)
70. Older or Younger:
Don’t care.
72. Romantic or spontaneous:
Again, are these supposed to be opposite? Romantic, because spontaneity sucks.
73. Pets:
Which pets are better for a BF/GF? Who knows? They only speak German! (Yes, I’m quoting MST3K. If you can tell me what short that’s from, you get $10).
74. Taller or shorter:
Again, don’t care. Though it’s tough to find those shorter.
75. Hook-up or relationship:
Relationship.
77. Trouble-maker or hesitant:
Don’t care.
HAVE YOU EVER:
78. Kissed a stranger:
Nope.
79. Drank bubbles:
Like, bubbles that you dip the little wand into? Those taste nasty!
81. Worn contacts:
For a few days. Hurt my eyes.
84. Broken someone’s heart:
Nope.
85. Been in trouble with the cops?
Nope.
87. Cried when someone died:
Of course.
88. Lost a friend:
Yeah.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. The Easter Bunny:
He lives on Drury Lane, doesn’t he?
Oh wait.
90. Miracles:
Only on 34th street. All others are BOGUS!
91. Love at first sight:
I dunno.
94. Sex on the first date:
Ha, go for it, if it’s what both of you want!
95. Kiss on the first date:
Sure!
96. Killing someone to save a loved ones life:
I dunno.
97. Abortion:
Pro-choice.
98. Do you think it’s an addicts fault they are addicted?:
Eh.
99. Do you like cheese?
Cheese is freaking awesome.
100. Does red bull give you wings?
No, it gives you wiiiiiiiiiiings!
Oh no, not another blog!
Came across this little doodad whilst looking at random peoples’ blogs. So I gave it a shot. If I had any inclination to make my own music at all, this is totally what I’d call myself/my band.
Instructions:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. http://www.livejournal.com/random.bml
Use the subtitle of the journal you go to. This will be your 1 hit single from the album.
5. Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result.
Result (done in–what else–Flash):
Debut album: Statuary, Tapestry, and Porcelain from the group Physician, Heal Thyself, featuring the hit single “All the Right Adjectives.”
I’m not sure I like the text on the side there on the left, but I think the rest of it’s pretty snazzy.
Hooray!
Good news: first test of the semester yields an A! Air of cautious optimism assumed. However, fears of tomorrow’s statistics test not yet quenched.
Silly Godot…Watches are for PUNCTUALITY
So what brilliant person decided which countries were which movements in that song we’re playing in concert band? Seriously, they’ve got like a 60% failure rate. Observe:
The Introduction Thingy
This doesn’t count. It’s the introduction thingy.
The First Movement—Destination: France
Status: FAIL!
This song does not strike me remotely as French. France does not jive to the 3/2 time signature. France is waltz. France is stuff composed by Ben Charest for The Triplets of Belleville. This is French. Crappy, slow, “I’ve-dropped-le-baguette-in-le-Riviera-and-I’m-le-tired [obscure “The End of the World” reference]” is not French. Bulgarian at best. But not French.
The Second Movement—Destination: England
Status: WIN!
This song captures perfectly London on a cold, foggy morning. All we need is the ominous tolling of Big Ben in the background and I feel like I’m back in London being swarmed by pigeons. Success.
The Third Movement—Destination: Italy
Status: FAIL!
Italy? Italy?! No, no, no…three words: IRISH, DRINKING, and SONG. Further evidence that this should be a drinking song is produced in the 40 measure-long rests that are in place as to allow the clarinet sections to go to the pub before continuing with their parts.
The Fourth Movement—Destination: Spain
Status: FAIL!
Things conjured up in my mind when I think of Spain: castanets, running with the bulls, Ernest Hemingway, “Toro!”, and…well yeah, that’s about it. Nowhere does this list say anything about “depressing, funeral-esque music.” We decided the song was after a fatal goring during a running of the bulls, and we were mourning.
Still…where are the castanets, freaking people?!
The Fifth Movement—Destination: Germany
Status: WIN!
*singing along with the 2nd clarinet part* “AH! YES! I’m a German male!” (more lyrics with which to annoy Torrey to come).
This is a mighty powerhouse of a movement. The Germans would approve.
Yeah, that’s all I’ve got for today.
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