Alliteration’s Almost Always Appropriate
I’m sorry, but I must address this issue, as I had a dream about it mere hours ago (it’s like 10 AM) and if it’s infiltrated my dreams, it must be important to me.
So as I’ve stated, I’m reading The Calculus Wars. In the blog about said book, I briefly mentioned the fact that the book used the word “invented” to describe how calculus came about. As I read on, though, the author appears to switch randomly between the words “invented” and “discovered.”
As confused as I was at the beginning over this, I’m more confused now, mainly because I’m not sure which word should really be used. Really, what sounds more accurate?
If we say that Newton and Leibniz discovered calculus, that basically means that there is some sort of preexisting system of mathematics that humans are in the process of unlocking.
But if we say that they invented calculus, then it just seems kind of strange that they were able to just invent something with such mathematical power to explain all the things it explains.
But then again, I find it rather suspicious that human beings have developed these systems called “numbers” and “math” and they somehow magically explain the workings of the universe (velocity, the speed of light, rate of acceleration, etc.). I mean, don’t you find it the least bit suspicious that we can explain these things using simple formulas? It makes sense that the universe is ordered in some fashion, I just find it kind of odd that we’ve managed to gain possession of something that seems to be able to explain the patterns. It seems too easy, you know what I’m saying?
What if it’s all arbitrary?
(See, this is why I want to take freaking Metaphysics)
You know what activity the U of I should sponsor? Battle of the Departments!
Wouldn’t that be awesome? We could combine all the departments and pit all the CLASS students against all the College of Science students and the Law students against the College of Education students and whatnot. We could just have an all-out war on the Admin lawn. Of course, it’d probably be a big failure…
The law students would probably sue you if you tried to fight with them.
All the Ag students would be trying to fight but then get distracted. “Ooh look, a field!”
The Philosophy students would be going around shouting “LOGICAL FALLACY!” at everything anyone said.
The Food Science students would set up a little booth and shout, “I’ve got cookies!”
The Computer Science students would die from their first exposure to the sun in two years.
The Interior Design students would be throwing swatches.
The Grad students would just be running around screaming “OMG MY THESIS!!”
The Theatre students would freaking love it.
The JAMM students would be interviewing everyone.
The Chem students would be making bombs.
The Sociology students would refuse to participate due to their witnessing of mob mentality, and would spend the whole time getting tans.
Depending on the type of English student, they’d either be reading or correcting everyone’s grammar.
The Business students…ah, screw the business students.
…why the hell did I blog about this?
…what on earth was my original blog?
…damn these tangents.
HOLY FREAKING CRAP!
Guys, there is a best of all possible worlds, and this is what it looks like:
This is from Tarsky’s World, my Symbolic Logic’s virtual world where we can validate/invalidate sentences. Today I (barely) started working on my logic homework. So I get to this one problem and read this: Launch Tarsky’s World and open Leibniz’ World…
Of course, if you have been listening to me at all these past few weeks, you can imagine the ruckus this caused. Well actually, it caused virtually no ruckus, as I was in the recitation session at the time so I couldn’t jump up and down and scream “HOLY CRAP!” like I wanted to. So I just sat there giggling to myself and reveling in my little joke for about ten minutes.
Seriously guys. Leibniz claims there is a “best of all possible worlds.” There is a Leibniz’ World in LPL’s files. I have got to think the writers of Tarsky’s World had to understand the little joke they made. This is almost better than the cookies.
Haha, I’m sorry, this is probably a really boring blog, but it’s funny as hell to me.
The Leibniz jokes will subside in due time, perhaps after I get my chocolates in the mail, or perhaps after I read some of his other writings. But as of now, you guys’ll just have to deal with them. At least I’ve refrained from the statistics jokes for awhile, right?
Tautologies are really unnecessary. Indeed, tautologies are quite superfluous.
(Really, stop me if my titles get too “out there.”)
World, I present to you a new metaphysical theory on God and the universe.
In a sentence:
It is through Ren’s boobs that God is represented.
Elaboration:
We looked at this through three different philosophical viewpoints (actually I did, everyone else there extrapolated, laughed, or was like “Claudia, what the hell?”)—Descartes, Spinoza, and Leibniz (the Rationalists!).
Descartes
We have to establish some sort of dualism. This task is easily accomplished, due to the fact that there are two boobs. One boob is to represent the substance “mind,” and the other boob is to represent the “material” substance. “I think therefore I’m Ren’s boobs.”
Spinoza
We are Ren’s boobs, and Ren’s boobs are us. Everything is Ren’s boobs. Ren’s boobs are the cause of all things. There is no dualism; the boobs themselves are of the same substance. Oh, and Ren’s boobs can indeed be perceived and understood.
Leibniz
Ren’s boobs are the best of all possible boobs. They are perfectly omnipotent, omnipresent, and good. Ren’s boobs created the world. Therefore, it is because of Ren’s boobs that we live in the best of all possible worlds. There is no other and better world, just as there are no other and better boobs.
Yeah.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if “onomatopoeia” was an onomatopoeia? What kind of sound would that be?
One question: what the hell were these?
These are snippets of various MSN conversations in which I make absolutely no sense at all. These may look like they’re out of place solely because they’re out of context. Au contraire, reader, they look out of place because they simply are out of place. These essentially had nothing to do with anything we were talking about at the time. Quite funny. Rather disturbing. Most of these are from freshman semester.
I love that…”looking for K? Find exactly what you want today”
Experiment:
Dang, it didn’t work
Oh wait! *clicks all links* :P
Plus, I’ll always have Titleist!
Is she mad at me?
Is Aneel mad at me?
Is Aneel even alive?
I don’t accumulate in bone tissue, either…that I know of
Eh…moon, stars, Uranus…
EEGs have shown it
When it’s connected to my head
The inner workings are like a glove
Why? I don’t know
I don’t feel like completing that analogy, cause in fact I just compared pants to a glove
Cause it…
…is fuzzy…
Eh, I’m tired
So I heard Aneel is a pothead now
(like a month later) So I heard Aneel is an alcoholic now
PAMELA ANDERSON!!!
Ah crap, wrong conversation
This was fun.
Quick side note: do you think I can convince the university to let me take 32 credits?
The Disaster of My Final (Necessary) Semester’s Schedule
So remember how I said the fall schedule was up and running?
Yeah, well, my schedule basically sucks for next fall.
Check it out:
(Wow, the blue’s really hard to read. Basically, they’re three philosophy classes).
Now if you know me and my schedule preferences at all, you know how I like to have all my classes in a big block, preferably as early in the day as possible. Yeah, I’m not getting that vibe from this schedule, are you?
Problems:
~I start with freaking Marching Band at 12:30. I’m usually 90% done with classes by that time in the day.
~That 8:00 class on T/R is going to kill me, since I won’t be getting up until 11 AM or so on M/W/F and thus will stay up ’till god knows when.
~Cognitive psych that late in the day for that long? That won’t be fun at all, I’m telling you that right now.
~I want to take Metaphysics…I mean, I REALLY want to take Metaphysics, but it runs from 3:30-5:50 on Mondays, which would cancel out History and Systems of Psychology, which I also really want to take.
Plus, what I’ve got listed there is 22 credits (like I was only going to take the 17 I need to graduate, come on, guys). That’s not counting the one research class (3 credits) I probably should do and the one research class (3 credits) that I really hope I can do (Stat 499: Statistics in the Social Sciences. Doesn’t that sound like it was made for me?!).
So I’m looking at a 28-credit semester next fall. After I promised myself that 25 was my upper limit.
Bad, bad, bad Claudia.
Please note: this schedule will change, I’m almost sure of it.
Hyperbole is the best thing EVER!
Haha, I think it’s rather funny that everyone else is posting all these apology blogs and bulletins, but that’s probably because of the fact that I’m feeling the exact opposite—I’ve been apologizing all freaking week for my actions when really, there’s been no need to.
I love the fact that I’ve gotten absolutely no support from anyone with regards to how I’m handling things. That’s a good feeling when you had already been confused over what to do.
But you know what? I’m not confused anymore. I know what I’m doing, and screw you all if you’re going to hold such low opinions of me that you don’t think I can make the right choices. ’Cause I did. And I’m glad.
So shut up and leave me alone if all you’re going to do is criticize me.
FINALLY, holy crap!
GUESS WHAT, GUYS?
The fall ’08 schedule is up—FINALLY—at www.uidaho.edu/schedule.
Haha…by the time these blogs get uploaded on to here you’ll probably have seen me and I will have ranted about my schedule (good or bad, I haven’t really worked anything out yet), so this blog will be past news.
Subject? Why SHOULD I?
Yay, second date with Rob!
It was fun. It probably would have been more fun if we didn’t live in Moscow, but hey, what’re you going to do?
I really don’t have anything that would be of interest to you readers today, I’m sorry.
How’s this for entertainment: I’m not wearing any pants right now (please note the date has ended, by the way)!
It’s a Vast Dessert Conspiracy!
OH MY GOD.
This hadn’t even crossed my mind. This hadn’t even entered my thought processes even remotely, even after listening to Brian Regan’s rant on Fig Newtons today.
Freaking go here and read the comments if at first you don’t get it (I didn’t).
Choco LEIBNIZ.
Fig NEWTONS.
Can it possibly be that the two great, independent inventors of calculus are both represented in tasty dessert form?
Answer: YES!
Fig Newtons were indeed named after good ol’ Isaac, who, according to Wikipedia, “liked figs” (not nearly as entertaining a story as the one behind Choco Leibniz, but interesting nonetheless).
What’s even freakier is the fact that both cookies were developed independently of each other in the SAME FREAKING YEAR (1891).
I think the one and only way to resolve the “who invented calculus first” debate is to find out once and for all whose tasty delight was created first. Unfortunately, the Fig Newtons website is entirely uninformative, and Bahlsen’s website (the company that makes the Chocos), while delightfully entertaining due to their obvious knowledge of Flash, has nothing informative, either.
So I guess the debate can’t be solved. At least by me tonight.
But wow…that’s really funny, don’t you think?
Choco Leibniz: The Best of All Possible Cookies
And if any of you get that joke, freaking congratulations, ’cause no one else has gotten it yet, save Sean.
Holy crap, you guys, you’ll never guess what I found!
So as a break from the insanity that is my Spring Break (at least it’s winding down a little, I think), my mom and I went up to Spokane for the day. Whenever we go to Spokane we make sure to visit Auntie’s bookstore, mainly because it actually has a good selection of books (unlike Hastings) and because you can actually buy things from there (unlike the library, to whom I apparently owe $161, but more on that later).
Today I had the pleasure of finding the book Calculus Wars, which basically describes the entirety of Newton’s and Leibniz’s feud over which one of them first invented* calculus. The fact that I’m reading a book about calculus proves how into Leibniz I really am, people.
But this isn’t the big thing of the day. I thought to myself when I got home, “you need to get some books on Leibniz, woman!” So I got online (Amazon.com), and typed in “Leibniz.”
This is what I found. This was like the fourth item down:
OMG!!
I am so incredibly amazed. I want these cookies. Like, now. I will do anything for these cookies.
In fact, I was so enthralled that I looked them up on Wikipedia. This is what I read:
“The brand name Leibniz comes from the philosopher and mathematician Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz. The only connection between man and biscuit is that Leibniz was one of the more famous residents of Hanover, where the company is based. At the time when the biscuit was first made, there was a fashion for arbitrarily naming products after famous people.”
Dear god, that is funny. I’m so getting my hands on these cookies.
And I could make so many jokes about them with regards to Leibniz’ philosophy, you don’t even want to know.
*Now here’s a thing I’m wondering: they use the verb invented to describe the introduction of the use of calculus. If mathematics (specifically, calculus) is a tool for understanding the universe, if it is the key that we have for unlocking all understanding of all things, why do they say we invented it? Shouldn’t they say, if math indeed explains the fundamental workings of all we could possibly need to understand, that we discovered it, since a tool that explains how things work should already exist and not have to be invented, just discovered? Just a thought…
Hmm, well I wasn’t expecting this…
Claudia + Rob + date = end of “soap opera from hell week,” wouldn’t you think?
Ha.
It has barely freaking begun.
Please note that this is a “preferred readers only” blog, one that I would really like to remain a “preferred readers only” blog. That means keep your freaking mouth shut and your hot little fingers from scrolling down to this blog when in the company of others, okay? I come here to rant with the expectation that it will be kept among my close friends, not shown to the world out of context. I thought this was a thing of common knowledge, that preferred-readers only blogs would not be discussed forthrightly with others, but apparently I’m wrong, so I’m saying it now: keep your damn mouths shut about these, or they will become private. Got it? Good. [Edit from the far off future year of 2025: LOL I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE; READ ON, PUBLIC EYES!]
So as my blog indicated a few days ago, I went on a very nice date with Rob. We hit it off, so we’re going out again. Sounds great, huh?
Enter the ex-girlfriend.
Apparently, she is still in love with him and has no qualms about telling me this over Facebook. She feels hopeless and alone. And I feel like an asshole.
I’ve tried to rationalize the situation—there’s nothing I should feel guilty about. A) I didn’t initiate this, B) I had no idea the situation regarding Rob’s previous relationship, and C) I had no idea they were freaking living together until about six hours into our date.
And yet, I can’t help but feel that I’ve fucked things up yet again with my amazing ability to, well, exist. It probably sounds incredibly emo, but I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out over this, ’cause I don’t want to be the bad guy. I don’t want to be the girl who “steals” the guy (even though I know…I know that’s not the situation here).
I empathize with her. I know what it feels like to still have feelings for a person when the relationship ends, especially when it didn’t end mutually. But I can’t imagine having the other person get into another relationship while you still have those feelings of love for them.
But what do you say to this person when you’re the one with whom that the person they still love has just started a relationship? “Sorry”? That’s not sufficient, and we all know it’s not.
And it doesn’t help that this whole twisted thing is playing out over MSN Messenger. Really. I’m talking to Rob, and I’m talking to her. Separately. It’s very, very unpleasant. And I hate it cause there’s no good answer in regards to what should be done (and don’t you dare tell me there is, ’cause there’s fucking not).
So yeah. It’s been a freaking great night.
The only thing that’s been keeping me sane is Sean’s amazing ability to make light of everything. Sean rocks.
More to come, guys, I’m sure of it.
Stay tuned.
Day 2 of Spring Break: Lack of School Work Causes Bouts of Severe Boredom. Cure: A Survey!
Bored. Tired. Survey time. Mood of cautious optimism regarding romance assumed.
Name
Claudia
Age
20
Height
5’ 3″. I can do without any more short jokes, too, thanks.
Hair Color
Black. And it’s entirely natural. Well, okay, it’s not entirely natural right now, cause there is a bunch of red streaks in it, but you know what I mean.
Birthday
February 2, 1988
Eye Color
Hazel/green/brown. I don’t know. I have the ugliest eyes in the universe.
Heritage
Basque, Czech, German, mainly
Current Location
Moscow, ID
Hometown
See above (pathetic, ain’t it?)
Right or Left Handed
Right
Nickname
I don’t really have any. There’s Claude, but he’s a person, not a nickname.
Random Questions
Do you play an instrument?
Many of them.
Do you think you are attractive?
Pfft. Only if you like the “fat and ugly” look.
Do you want to go to college?
I’m in college, thank you. And grad school? Don’t mind if I do!
Do you smoke?
Eww, no.
Do you drink?
Eww, no.
Are you smart?
Depends on how you define “smart.”
Your best physical feature?
My eyelashes are fantastic.
No seriously, though, I don’t have any good physical features.
Sick of anything?
Sick of the U of I’s incompetence regarding, well, everything.
Mp3 player?
No, I’m Claudia. Mp3 Player’s over there.
Views on war
It’s a necessary thing, but only because we make it so as the human race.
Favorite Actor
William Shatner, bitches!
Favorie Actress
Don’t have one.
Cake or Pie
Neither.
Favorite quiet place
My dorm room. Yes, finally, I’ve found a dorm room that can be described as “quiet.”
Favorite type of music?
I like electronica, something with a good, strong beat and a good, strong bass line. Classical, though, is a very close second.
Boxers or Breifs? Panties or Thong?
Anything but a thong! Oh dear god!
What you look for in a Boy/Girl. Guy/Woman
Age
Doesn’t matter, really. I’d prefer them to be 19 or older, though. There’s no upper limit.
Height
No preference. As long as they’re not so incredibly tall that it makes it really difficult to kiss.
Weight
Well, unlike the majority of the US population, I like my guys heavy (especially in the middle… ). This seems contradictory, seeing as how I’ve only dated skinny guys. This just proves, though, that I really don’t judge by appearance that much.
Hair color
Again, it doesn’t matter. Though redheads are, I must say, delightfully sexy. Yes, Sean, if you ever read this, that means you.
Hair Length
I really don’t know why I’m answering these questions, because again, I’m going to have to say I don’t care.
Music type
Whatever floats his boat.
Geometry
Scalene! MAKE HIM SCALENE!!!
Attitude
Open-minded. Please, dear god, let him be open-minded. Anything else is fine, I think, but open-mindedness is a must.
Maturity
I need a maturity that matches mine. In other words, a guy who can have the maturity level of a four-year-old one minute, and be able to seriously discuss Leibniz and/or Voltaire and/or both of them the next.
Wee! Told you I’m bored.
Hahaha, wow, holy crap…
So tonight Rob and I went on our little date at 7 (makes sense if you’ve been following my blogs). Okay, let me rephrase that. Last night Rob and I went on a date. I say “last night” because I’m typing this up at 8 AM or so on Sunday.
Why, you ask?
Haha. Well, because the date just ended.
It was a good 13 hours. For all of you who aren’t Rob fans, I must say…he really is very nice. Quite a romantic, actually. And no, in cause you’re wondering (you perverts), we didn’t do anything like that. We stayed up all night in the U of I Library fishbowl and just hung out.
Um…so yeah.
We’re going to go out again.
Halfway through, still holding strong…
HA! Spring Break, baby! I didn’t think I was going to make it past this week…Monday-Thursday was incredibly stressful. But here I am, at the midpoint of a semester of 25 credits, and holding a 4.0 so far (with 4 out of 9 classes reporting). And the real surprising thing is the fact that I’m holding up surprisingly well. Haven’t crumpled under the stress yet (though I was close on Tuesday, not going to lie). I think I’ve hit my stride with this workload. Unfortunately, I’m very tempted to increase my credit load in the fall to something like 27, but I won’t do that. It’s silly and unnecessary, especially if 6 of my credits next semester are going to be coming from graduate-level statistics classes (which, if they’re both offered, will be the case). I just hope the 4.0 can last until the end of the semester…please, oh please…
Hmm…what else was I going to say in this thing today…
Oh yes! I was going to give you guys an example of a formal proof. This was one of our practice problems, one full of those delicious things we call subproofs! Observe (oh, and the little carat (^) is read as “and,” the little v is read as “or,” that little tilde-like thing at the beginning of the first premise is read as “not,” and _|_ is the symbol for a contradiction. Like that will help at all, but just thought you should know):
Oh, and the goal is to prove R.
This was done in Fitch, the program we use. It’s picky as hell. “Fitch” does not rhyme with “bitch” for no reason, as one person pointed out in our recitation session.
Oh, and an album cover! I like putting wings on things. I’d show you the original, but I’ve lost it (not it it, the picture, it…aw, nevermind).
The history books, they’ve got it all wrong!
You guys, I just witnessed what is possibly both the most disturbing, strangest, and, in some spots, most hilarious 5 minutes of any Captain Planet episode ever made. Check it out.
The dialogue is genius. If I didn’t know Captain Planet, I would swear this was a parody. Yeah, it’s that bad. Or good, I can’t decide.
Best parts:
“Stop bidding against me or I will invade you!” (This rivals “asscockshitrapeFUCK” for me)
“Heil, Fuhrer, baby!”
“Just what do you think you’re doing, shorty?”
The fact that there are like twenty windows in that castle and Captain Planet decides to go through the solid stone wall instead (3:37). This had me on the floor laughing, literally. Use a freaking window, dude! And then he breaks the ceiling later.
“I’ve heard of neutron bombs, atomic bombs, and even smart bombs! But there’s no such thing as a good bomb!” No wiser words have been spoken in so strange a manner, my dear Captain.
And this one comment I found regarding the ending:
CAPTAIN P: “Oh, there’s the time hole thing!”
PLANETEERS: “Well, gee, Cap. While we’re here, do you think we could use our Ancient Elemental Powers of Asskicking to stop the Holocaust? Or the bombing of Pearl Harbor? Or the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Or…”
CAPTAIN P.: “TIME HOLE THING! GET IN RIGHT NOW! GO PLANET!!!”
This was awesome.
Today revealed further flaws in Microsoft Word 2007 that must be ranted about in Blog Land
I get all riled up for nothing, don’t I? It’s great. Oh, and no pictures this time, sorry. The fact that I’m blogging and not engaging in some form of school-related work is not good in and of itself, so I’m not going to add “messing with Geocities’ image hosting” to the procrastination menu as well.
Where the hell are my margin rulers?
Welcome to the new Microsoft Word 2007, the “I’m far too superior to display margin rulers or use Times New Roman as the default font or be intuitive in the slightest.” People liked the little rulers, Microsoft. I liked the little rulers. How else are we supposed to easily tweak your crappy default layout (tab size, indentation with bullets and numbers, etc.) if we can’t manually adjust the sliders on the rulers?
Nothing will be right in the world until I get my rulers back.
And following this, why are the default margins 1″ all around the page all of a sudden?
Microsoft, you can’t do this to people like me. You can’t have 1″ margins on the top and bottom and 1.25″ margins on the sides as the default for like five years and then suddenly decide to change things. I type my essays with the expectation that, when I go to adjust the margins, the total length in vertical page size will decrease, thus “shortening” my essay just enough so that I dock a page off my already-far-too-wordy-and-incredibly-long-winded-“like-hell-I’m-going-to-stay-under-three-pages” essay. I went to do this tonight on my paper on Spinoza, and after frantically searching for my margin rulers (see above complaint), I came to the horrifying realization that I couldn’t artificially “shorten” my paper at all! Now I’m going to get another “it’s good writing after the first two pages of rambling” comment on my essays for modern philosophy.
Why did you change the “oops, it looks like you made a small grammatical error” underline from green to blue?
Why is blue so much more “modern” than green? iTunes pulled this crap, too. Remember back when the little note on the iTunes icon was green? Maybe not, ’cause they switched it to blue some time ago, and blue it remains. Same with Word. How can you change something like this?! Isn’t the green squiggle underline, like, classic? That’s like changing the traditional Christmas colors from red and green to something like red and burnt sienna. In other words, it’s BLASPHEMY! They also might have changed the background of the viewing window itself, too, but I can’t remember what the default of the original looked like, since I reset my whole color scheme to lime green on my laptop.
That stupid little “modifications box” that shows up every time I highlight text, which then subsequently causes me to change the font to Wingdings or something by complete accident, ’cause I wasn’t expecting a freaking modifications box to show up when I’m highlighting text!!
The first time I saw this little box I was all, “oh god, did I break Microsoft Word?!” No, turns out they like to mess with you when you’re frantically highlighting text to move about in your essay outlines and it’s 10 at night and you want spaghetti but NO, you’re stuck trying to grapple with freaking Microsoft Word and their new-fangled user interface that’s practically the crap on a stick of the word processing world.
The .docx extension
Yeah, that’ll protect your precious monopoly on all computerized word processors, Microsoft. Make it so that none of your older (and better) versions can open the documents from the freaking new one. That equates to putting a chastity belt on someone who’s had multiple sexual partners with hopes that it’ll magically erase her copulations with people prior.
Does that analogy work? I’m not too sure right now (I’m proofed out from symbolic logic and can’t be bothered with the trifles of sounding witty), but it’s a damn good analogy if it does.
And here are things that, much to my chagrin, I must admit I like about good ol’ Word 2007 (there are only two things, though, so this should be quick):
The whole easy preview of modifications to the text
Now this is a useful tool, Word ’07. When you go to modify the text, the modification actually shows up in preview in the actual text!! This is brilliant, guys. Now fix all the other crap you implemented.
The “zoom” drag button
This thing is freaking fun! You can zoom in far enough to see the pixels in the dot on the “i” and then, within seconds, zoom out so that the page you’re on looks like a postage stamp in the upper right-hand corner of Word. For those of us procrastinating on writing about Spinoza because we hate his philosophy so, this is an excellent distraction.
A couple important notes for today that I’m typing up at home, with good old Microsoft 2003:
I got a fortune today that read: “The more you give, the more you have.” I found that interesting.
I owned my human sexuality test. 51 out of 50, baby.
I also got a 91 on my stat 401 test, which is better than I was expecting, considering there were four problems (total of 20 points right there) on which I had no clue what to do.
If the whole psychometrics thing falls through due to my inability to get accepted by any grad school, I’m so totally going for a PhD in philosophy to become a Leibniz scholar. Holy crap, that would be amazing.
If you ever have the pleasant experience of speaking to/befriending Sean Papin, I advise you to hold him in the highest respect. His honesty and integrity as a decent human being made things that could have been disastrous go a whole hell of a lot easier today. My respect for him has shot through the roof (not that it wasn’t high before, but you know what I mean).
“Felgar, NOOO!”
Survey time. Don’t want to deal with reality tonight.
1. How do you define yourself?
You know, I was going to write a blog on this in the near future. I guess I still will.
2. What’s the latest you’ve ever stayed up on a school night?
On a school night? 4 AM or so. Damn you, MSN Messenger and your dirty wiles!
3. Ever done drugs?
Nope.
4. Biggest fear as of right this second?
Midterm grades—will they be good enough to satisfy me?
5. Are you sad?
In general? No, not so much anymore. I got over all that crap in December.
6. What’s your favorite decoration in your room?
That colossal watch. I’ve got it tacked to my corkboard, so it’s essentially a wall clock.
7. What will be/is your major?
Psychology! With a stats minor! And a philosophy minor! And then I’ll graduate in the fall and in the spring I’ll get a BS in philosophy!
8. What song are you listening to?
Paralyzer by Finger Eleven
9. Have you ever given your genitals/privates nicknames?
DO YOU WANT TO MEET SPARTA?!?!?!
10. What made your day good today?
Matt’s little reference to the Yogi Bear thing.
11. What made your day bad today?
Several cruel comments by several tactless people. That, and I can’t do proofs.
12. Kirk or Spock?
William Shatner is the man.
13. Color or black and white?
Do you have to ask me this question? Really?
14. Are you smart?
If being incredibly motivated to achieve the best possible counts as smart, then yes.
Hell, I don’t know. Am I smart?
15. Favorite punctuation mark?
Interrobang. No question.
16. Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Once…
17. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend now?
That, my dear survey, is a very, very good question.
18. Are you short?
I’m short AND I’m bothered by this question.
19. Does age difference matter in a relationship?
Hell no. Unless the age difference creates a case of pedophilia. Or necrophilia. Hahaha, that would be hilarious: “I like ’em old. Reeeeeeeeeally old…”
20. Dream job?
Psychometrician!!!!
21. Are you a virgin?
That’s like asking if Wilford Brimley’s a diabetic.
22. What’s your favorite song?
Philosophia, by The Guggenheim Grotto
23. Is he dead, Jim?
Haha, what’s with the Star Trek references?
24. What is your secret sexual fantasy?
Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t be secret, now would it?
Plus, it doesn’t involve sex at all. Go figure.
25. What would you do if you failed a class?
I try not to think about the consequences that would bring about.
26. Besides your computer screen, what do you see when you look straight ahead?
A PORTRAIT OF VOLTAIRE! *Swoon*
27. Secret shame?
The fact that I’m me? Though that’s not so secret, is it?
28. Why do people like you?
Who freaking knows? They probably don’t, really, they just need someone to use to their own advantage and have picked me ’cause I’m a pushover that way.
29. Why don’t people like you?
I chalk it up to my defective personality.
30. What song describes your love life?
Pfft. What’s a love life but a real-life soap opera? Plus, no song is worthy of the situation I’ve somehow gotten myself into right now.
31. What keeps you from going off the deep end?
The floaties I wear on my arms, of course!!!
That and the 25 credits. I think they’re keeping me stable, which contradicts every bit of logic I can think of. Or maybe I’ve sunk so far down the deep end that the pressure of 10,000 or so atmospheres is crushing my brain and thus is making me hallucinate about being stable.
32. What’s your MSN screen name?
“Leibniz Rocks My Socks.” ‘Cause it’s entirely true.
33. Any new friends?
Brittany! I think she considers me a friend, unless my brilliant ability to read social cues has failed me yet again.
34. Why do little children stare at you?
Because I resemble the innards of their crayon box.
35. What’s the best thing you’ve ever done?
Hell, I don’t know. I don’t really do much…I crapped out a good short story last April for my creative writing class, but other than that I see nothing else that boosts my self worth in the slightest.
36. Why do you do what you do?
Because I am who I am. Beat that!
What do you think about…
37. Blondes?
They’re sexy. Especially you, Nick.
38. Redheads?
SEAN!! He’s the only true redhead I know.
39. MySpace?
Best concept ever.
40. Logical contradictions?
OH DEAR GOD, DON’T MAKE ME PROVE THEM! NO MORE PROOFS! NO MORE PAIN!
41. Tarot readings?
They’re fun.
42. The zodiac?
Even more fun! Aquarians rule the signs, guys, seriously.
43. Medical dramas?
Chicago Hope is the best TV show EVER CREATED!
44. Grades?
They’re my life right now, I’m not going to lie. I need perfection to get into the grad school I want. Give me a 4.0 or give me death!
45. Product placement?
Who needs product placement when you can have an ice-cold Diet Coke instead?
Also, you people need to go to Ebeeto’s YouTube page (the guy who did the Yogi Bear thing) and watch both parts of the “Might & Magic II” review and the second half of the “Deal or No Deal” review (especially near the end, good lord).
What the Hell, Universe?!
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Why is it, when I think I have things figured out and I have a plan all in my head, does the universe and/or whatever powers there may be feel the need to screw with my head?
I always make the wrong mistakes. Granted, there are very few right mistakes, but I always pick the ones that really, really mess things up.
Case in point: after years of totally ignoring Rob on messenger, I, against my better judgment, possibly during some sort of mini-stroke or something, I started talking to him tonight. And what happened? Do you want to take a guess? Do you need to take a guess after our history?
Yeah. You guessed it. He freaking asked me out.
If there is a god, he is a malicious little ass, and he has taken out all his malice on me in the last five minutes or so, constructing for himself a nice little soap opera to watch unfold while he smites sinners to hell and all that.
So here’s the situation in a nutshell: I like Sean. I’ve asked Sean on another date and he’s accepted. However, I don’t know if he likes me back (he said he’d say something, and nothing has been said as of yet). Rob apparently has had this crush thing going since senior year of high school and has just worked up the nerve to ask me out. And despite all my complaining about him, he seems decent enough that I don’t want to act like an asshole and say “sorry, I’m waiting for someone else’s confirmation on a relationship. But if they say no, sure, I’ll go out with you.” And what’s more, I don’t know if I’m ready to trust a relationship that is initiated by someone else. If I initiate it, sure, I have a little control and thus can assign blame to myself readily if things fall apart. But history repeats itself, and I don’t want what’s happened before to happen again anytime soon.
So the only possible solution in my mind right now? Have the little “so where do you see our relationship right now?” conversation with Sean. This I dread like the plague. Why? Because I feel like I’m pushing things. I’m not going to copy down the essence of our conversation so that you’d know what I mean and why I think that, so just trust me on it. I don’t want to make him make a decision prematurely. Therefore, I am really not ready to have this kind of conversation. I know nothing of the pain of birth, but I have a feeling that this is much worse. I mean, for god’s sake, I’d take the freaking quadruplets over this kind of thing.
So please excuse the interpersonal immaturity of this blog. I know not what I’m doing. If there were a class called “Relationships and Dating,” I’d fail it in a nanosecond. I’m not looking for an “easy out.” I just don’t want to mess with people, and with my minimal amount of experience, I really don’t know how to work it out.
Haha, my god, it is a soap opera, isn’t it? All we need are some guys named Slate and Ricardo to show up and a big, macho guy named Don to hold me at gunpoint while demanding where our illegitimate son Ambrose has taken the family diamonds.
Overdramatic, perhaps? Perhaps, but it’s how I lighten the mood.
I don’t know, you’re all more experienced in the field of romance and relationships than I—advise me, peers, advise me!
If we give up our exclamation points, the terrorists win (!!!!!)
Here are some silly pictures from around my room. I’m really, really sick of doing ANOVAs—I’ve been doing them since 3:00 and it’s midnight now—so I fired up the camera and took a few pictures. Be flabbergasted as I bore you to death with my amazing ability to be fascinated with my own crap! Onward!
This is my closet. Notice the lack of boring colors. And just ignore that top shelf on the right, that’s where I chuck my pajamas in the morning. There’s a bunch of other clothes up there…I really don’t know what those are…I could go check, but I’m lazy.
Oh, and did you also notice the ROYGBIV layout? I do it once for garments worn on bottom half of body, then again for garments worn on top half of body. I’m awesome.
I find the gloomy glow of an always-turned-off television to be drab, so I decorated mine with Post-It Notes. I haven’t turned my TV on since they took Futurama off of Adult Swim and I got the whole series on DVD.
This is my desk, where I do my best work (aka my blogs). Yes, that’s a picture of Voltaire on the left there. And yes, those are my Voltaire pins underneath the NASA patch.
I’ve found calendars to be boring and useless for a person like me, who likes to keep it all in her head, so I’ve been reduced to writing silly things on that big old calendar on my desk there. February’s was “LOL IT’S A METAPHOR!” March’s says “25 credits” on every week except next, which says “Holy crap, it’s spring break!!! I don’t have to do ANYTHING for SEVEN WHOLE DAYS! If a god or gods exist, he/she/they LOVE ME! I <3 spring break!”
Yeah.
If the value of “purpose” could be measured negatively, this blog would be approaching a value of negative infinity.
“u cant blog ur a silly grl lol”
I’m not afraid of a lot of things. In fact, I can basically list all my fears right here:
1. failure
2. touching TV screens when the TV’s on
3. dragonflies
But now that I’ve thought about it, I can add another fear to the list: the fear of being perceived as needy/clingy/overbearing/too touchy-feely in a romantic relationship.
Elaboration? Well, of course, it’s me talking, here.
So a prompt for one of my developmental psychology papers got me to thinking on this topic. Our paper was on attachment styles when we were young children. Rather than go into the details on the three attachment styles (secure, avoidant, anxious), I’ll just say that I was an anxious type, which is basically a child who is very clingy toward the mother figure, who dislikes when the mother leaves them alone, and who cries when they are alone for a long while. Our prompt was to write about how our early on attachment style affected our attachment style today. This got me thinking—when I started to go to preschool, I was always made fun of for being close to my mom, for wanting to be near her. I was that way, all through elementary school up until today, and I’d always gotten made fun of for it.
The more I think about it, the more this kind of made me want to back off in relationships (well, this and the fact that every relationship I’d ever tried to initiate ended up being a one-sided “chase”—don’t even ask).
Now don’t get me wrong—I love the physical side of relationships—touching, petting, kissing, rubbing—I freaking love that. I’m just afraid, I guess, of “going too fast” and being perceived as clingy or needy or any of that, so I just hold back.
I think this is a problem, because it basically leaves me with two options:
1) hold back, and hope the other person doesn’t think I’m not “into it”
2) essentially tell them this whole blog, and probably freak them out.
So this is where I am. I never know the appropriate “level,” hence my constant need for the other person to make the first moves and to lay out the framework of what they’re comfortable with, because honestly, I can be just as distant or clingy as anyone wants.
Please note that I do not find this “clinginess” quality unappealing in others. I find it very, very awesome, in fact. A “turn on,” if you will. I just wonder how many other people are in my situation regarding this…?
So yeah. There was really no point in this, I just felt like rambling about it ’cause it’s Saturday and I really have nothing of interest to blog about.
So you all must suffer. MUA-HA-HA!
Blogs? Bah!
Holy crap, guys, look at this! Read what the customers have to say near the end. eBay rocks my socks off.
Oh, and I finally did that Photobucket survey. Commence surveylicious fun!
1. What is your first name?
There’s a tramp stamp with my name on it! Literally! Ahahahaha….
2. What month were you born?
This is the only one I could find that didn’t have freaking hearts on it. Or amethysts.
3. What kind of car do you drive?
4. Where do you go to school?
It should read “a legacy of changing our logos to ever increasing ugliness and painting our university structures in the most god-awful yellow we can find. Oh, did we mention we suck at football?”
5. Favorite animal?
That is an elephant seal, my friends. Study it, for it is the epitome of awesomeness in the animal kingdom.
6. Favorite color?
Fruit = eww, color = wee!
7. Your celebrity crush?
Oh, he does so count! <3.
8. Dream car?
Nothing more needs to be said.
9. Favorite movie?
10. Disney princess?
I…I don’t think I have one.
12. Best vacation spot?
I really need to haul my butt down there.
13. Favorite dessert?
Oh good god, best picture ever. I eat my M&Ms with steroids, baby.
14. Favorite letter?
HAHA, OH YEAH GUYS, WHO SAID IT HAD TO BE FROM OUR SPECIFIC ALPHABET?! It represents summation, people, how could I not love it?
15. Most afraid of?
16. What do you want to be when you grow up?
“Psychometrician” turned up no results. So I had to use “statistician.” This is as close as I got.
17. Favorite time of day?
18. What do you love most about life?
19. Favorite accessory?
I could find no actual images to do justice to my level of gaudiness regarding earrings.
20. One word that describes yourself?
Technically that shows two words, but what I typed in was “eccentric.”
Eigenblogger 