Tag Archives: time travel

The history books, they’ve got it all wrong!

You guys, I just witnessed what is possibly both the most disturbing, strangest, and, in some spots, most hilarious 5 minutes of any Captain Planet episode ever made. Check it out.

The dialogue is genius. If I didn’t know Captain Planet, I would swear this was a parody. Yeah, it’s that bad. Or good, I can’t decide.

Best parts:
“Stop bidding against me or I will invade you!” (This rivals “asscockshitrapeFUCK” for me)

“Heil, Fuhrer, baby!”

“Just what do you think you’re doing, shorty?”

The fact that there are like twenty windows in that castle and Captain Planet decides to go through the solid stone wall instead (3:37). This had me on the floor laughing, literally. Use a freaking window, dude! And then he breaks the ceiling later.

“I’ve heard of neutron bombs, atomic bombs, and even smart bombs! But there’s no such thing as a good bomb!” No wiser words have been spoken in so strange a manner, my dear Captain.

And this one comment I found regarding the ending:
CAPTAIN P: “Oh, there’s the time hole thing!”
PLANETEERS: “Well, gee, Cap. While we’re here, do you think we could use our Ancient Elemental Powers of Asskicking to stop the Holocaust? Or the bombing of Pearl Harbor? Or the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Or…”
CAPTAIN P.: “TIME HOLE THING! GET IN RIGHT NOW! GO PLANET!!!”

 
This was awesome.