BUS CENTRIFUGE!
This song rocks.
It’s not a new blogging month until I complete a survey!
1. Who was your FIRST prom date?
Alan, believe it or not. I *think* that dance was a prom-type thing…
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
Yes indeed.
3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
Daquiri?
4. What was your FIRST job?
Hahaha, Wendy’s slave.
5. What was your FIRST car?
Haven’t had my own car yet.
6. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
No texty.
7. Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
My dad, ‘cause he called to wake me up.
8. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Ms. Quesnel.
9. Where did you go on your First airplane ride?
Missouri.
10. Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?
Anastasia, and I haven’t heard from her in awhile.
11. Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Haha, I have no idea. I went to SO many sleepovers as a kid.
12. Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
My dad.
13. Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?
I haven’t been in a wedding.
14. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Wished that I could sleep a little longer.
15. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Haven’t been to a concert.
16. FIRST tattoo?
I don’t have one, unfortunately.
17. FIRST piercing?
Earlobes.
18. FIRST foreign country you’ve visited
England? I actually think I went to London before I went anywhere in Canada, haha.
19. FIRST movie you remember seeing?
Oh man…something Disney, that’s all I know.
20. When was your FIRST detention?
Eighth grade…for making fun of perfect squares in Algebra.
21. Who was your FIRST pet?
Wooder, my cat (don’t ask about the name)
22. Who was your FIRST roommate?
Sean. Freaking awesome.
23. What is something you would learn if you had the chance?
I would LOVE to learn enough to be able to be a helmsman of an icebreaker ship. ALWAYS wanted to do that, as weird as it sounds.
24. Did you marry the FIRST person to ask for your hand in marriage?
Pfft. Like anyone will ever want to marry me.
25. What was the first sport that you were involved in?
Freaking T-ball, bitches!
26. What were the first lessons you ever took?
Piano?
27. What is the first thing you do when you get home?
Take Compy out of my backpack.
28. Who do you think will be the next person to post this?
Petey!
WOOOOOO no pants!
This is pretty snazzy. Couple of highlights:
– Most potatoes produced: Idaho (go figure)
– Most reported Bigfoot sightings: Washington
– Idaho and Montana shrink to almost nothing when you select to view the states sized by the number of African American individuals living in the state.
My mother had infinite patience with me when I was a kid
I swear to god, I don’t know how she put up with me. From the time I was a very small kid (Kindergarten) I was absolutely fascinated by this camcorder she had, and I always had her tape me doing the most mundane things. Examples:
- I had a row of about 40 small rocks and made her tape me reading off their names, then giving them prizes for being rocks.
- Me reading out of the Troy phonebook.
- Me using a stencil to draw circles (FOR LIKE AN HOUR).
- Me writing in my journal.
- Me naming every freaking item in the house.
- Me counting to 100. Twice. I’m not kidding.
- And then she made the biggest mistake of her life and decided to let me have a shot at using the camera. I claimed it as mine and proceeded to make tons of ridiculous movies, including quite a long series involving a pair of gay grandpa sock puppets (no joke). I thought I was Steven Spielberg or something, I don’t know.
- Also, 24 + 7 = 20, apparently. I’ve obviously stayed at this math level my whole life.
Hooray for growing up in hick town Troy. I really don’t know why I didn’t go into directing or something after seeing all this.
Give this man a medal!
So many puns, so little time. So awesome.
Sigh…
Today I present you with yet another one of my mobility-related rants, entitled:
“Walking Courteously: It’s Not Fucking Rocket Science”
Point the First
Explain something to me, please. Why is it that the slower you walk, the more apt you are to walk in the middle of the freaking sidewalk, thus inhibiting anybody passing you on either side? I have NEVER seen a fast-walking person barreling down the center of the sidewalk, most likely due to the fact that the center of the sidewalk is usually occupied by someone going about 0.00002 miles per hour. While weaving.
Point the Second
Walking while talking on a cellphone automatically lowers your IQ by about 30 points. This is a fact of life. Walking in a group consisting of more than two people lowers your IQ by 25 points for each person in your group. This is another fact of life.
When you combine the two by seeing groups of four or more people with two or three of them on their cell phones, you start to get negative IQ scores, numbers that are only represtented elsewhere in the Republican party and in people who don’t like Leibniz (sorry, one political slash per year is required). Why do people do this? Are most people so unaware of their surroundings that they fail to realize that other people use the sidewalk that they’re clogging up with their social sludge? Ergh.
Point the Third
Anybody who’s been in this city for more than 15 minutes knows it rains incessantly here. As such, people are generally courteous about their umbrellas. But then you get these guys who decide to carry around—and I’m not exaggerating here—umbrellas that are 3’ in diameter. Is it just me, or is this just a little bit excessive? I mean, unless you can’t fit your frame beneath a standard umbrella, I don’t know how much more a ridiculously large umbrella’s going to help you stay dry.
Here’s the bottom line: the reason you don’t see every person carrying around a 3’ diameter umbrella is because there is no practical reason that any human being needs a 3’ diameter umbrella to stay dry. I don’t know what these assholes who carry around umbrellas that are large enough to be accurately-sized replicates of the firmament are compensating for, but they need to find a less obnoxious way of doing it.
/rant.
WHY MUST CHEESE BE SO DELICIOUS WHY
I just found the best cheddar cheese on the planet: Original Bothwell’s mild cheddar. This is honestly the best cheese I’ve ever tasted. I think they should change the back label to “Ideal for French onion soup, fondues, scallop potatoes, omelettes and other gourmet dishes—OR JUST EAT IT OUT OF THE BAG ‘CAUSE IT’S FREAKING AMAZING.”
Yeah.
Also, screw fellowship applications.
Plot? Pfft.
Why in the hell did I choose a NaNoWriMo plot that made no allowance for physical description? I’m realizing how much I rely on that in my writing. Oh well. A chance to improve on my dialogue, I guess.
Even though I haven’t made much progress yet, I’m finding the whole NaNoWriMo thing more of a stress relief than I thought I would. Which is odd.
General synopsis of my story, by the way:
Once the new outlook took hold in the Numerical community, it was difficult for any one of the Positives to turn against it. The idea that they were superior to the Negatives chewed with an insatiable hunger at their minds and turned them against their counterparts with a speed and illogicality that had never before been witnessed in the Rational world.
The divide widening, the 0verseer useless and indecisive, the Primes alone were unaffected. A collective anachronism from a time when unity was a common theme throughout the universe of mathematics, they alone stood left to bear the decision of whether to restore harmony to the Rationals, or to banish the Negatives to a different realm, perhaps to the Irrationals or the Imaginaries, or even to a new category of Numbers all together.
But they needed an insider–a Number not of their own caliber, a Number with connections in both the Positive and the Negative realms–in order to determine the best course of action.
And in the end, they chose Twenty Seven.
Yeah. This stems from the short writing exercise thingy from Intermediate Fiction I put up here a few months ago.
GIANT LEAF
HOLY FREAKING CRAP this is the biggest leaf I’ve ever seen. It was draped over a fire hydrant and startled the crap out of me because I thought it was an injured bat when I first looked at it.
Fun fact: It was really hard to fit it in the range of the lense while holding my other hand down to it for size comparison.
NaNoWriMo, bitches!
So today it begins.
Or tomorrow for me, really, since I went to bed around 2, woke up at 4, and spent from 5:30 until 1 getting back to my apartment up in Vancouver. But I wrote a bunch of crazy on the plane before I started getting motion sickness (of course), so we’ll see.
Ahhhh, band…
Nothing beats a day with the band. I missed all you dorks (even Beau), and I forgot how much beer we got offered at tailgating. I miss band more than I thought—I guess, about as much as I thought, because I figured I’d miss it a lot.
I also missed hanging out with you silly things. We need to do something when I come back up.
Excursion to Moscow
I’m excited to see you dorks again. People up here are very different from me…they’re so “mature.” They’re all “Marriage, babies, financial responsibility!” and I’m like, “naked Rock Band!”
And I’m not very comfortable that they’re so open about the other people they dislike. It’s a bit disconcerting, considering there are quite a few people they don’t seem to think deserve any respect at all.
Midterm and Mars
Last night I had a dream about my psych midterm. We got to lab today (in the dream) and our grades were listed by our student number on a huge overhead. I only got 10 questions right out of 45, and I was really really upset, so I went to talk to my professor about it. I started to cry and he said he felt really sorry for me.
So he took me to Mars.
Yeah.
Luckily, I did not get a 10/45. I got an A. But I didn’t get to go to Mars.
Oh wow, I needed this
Haven’t laughed this hard in awhile. I’m pretty sure everyone else on the floor could hear me in my office today. Some of these comments are just perfect.
It’s because I’m bored! I’m BORED, okay?!
Because, for some reason, I haven’t done this yet.
1) Smoked pot — $10
2) Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk –$50
3) Cheated on your significant other — $10
4) Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
5) Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
6) Went streaking — $5
7) Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
8) Kissed a co-worker– $ 20
9)Kissed your boss –$50
10) Been arrested — $5
11) Spent time in jail — $15
12) Peed in the pool — $0.50
13) Played spin the bottle — $5
14) Done something you regret — $20
15) Slept with your best friend — $20
16) Been in love with a stripper — $20
17) Went skinny dipping — $5
18) Been slapped– $5
19) Slapped someone– $5
20) Beat up someone — $20
21) Been jumped — $10
22) Ever had sex at church — $25
23) Dated someone you met on My Space — $25
24) Cheated on test — $50
25) Vandalized something — $20
26) Slept with someone in your parents’ bed — $100
27) Crossed dressed — $10
28) Given money to stripper — $25
29) Flirted with an officer to get out of a ticket– $30
30) Been in love with a stripper — $20
31) Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know –$10
32) Hit on some one of the same sex while at work– $15
33) Ever drive drunk — $20
34) Used toys while having sex — $30
35) Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
36) Had sex in a pool — $20
37) Masturbated — $10
38) Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend –$20
39) Done oral — $5
40) Got oral — $5
41) Done / got oral in a car while it was moving– $25
42) Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you– $40
43) Stole something — $10
44) Slept with someone who has been in jail — $25
45) Made a dirty home video — $15
46) Plan on making a dirty home video in the near future –$30
47) Had a threesome — $50
48) Had sex in a public place– $20
49) Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
50) Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars –$20
51) Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
52) Kissed a teacher while you were still a student–$25
53) Lied to your mate — $5
54) Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25
Total: $165. Not as bad as I was expecting.
Dune: Paul vs. Jamis as Interpreted by 12-Year-Olds
Good lord. So I was in the “advanced reading” group in seventh grade English, which meant we had to read Dune. Our final project had to involve some sort of interpretation of the book. Seeing as how I had a video camera and making video reenactments of everything we possibly could was the easiest way out of anything, we chose to do just that. Unfortunately, we decided to film on a day when it was about 30 degrees outside and there was snow everywhere. Just…just read it. The script was written by Brendan.
Take One
(I film during all of this)
Me: The setting is outside the desert cave on the planet Arrakis, otherwise know—(breaks down into laughter)
Take Two
Me: The setting is outside the very white sanded dune desert cave on the planet Arrakis, otherwise known as Dune. Lady Jessica and her son Paul, the new Atreides duke, are wandering aimlessly through the desert when they come across Fremen land.
Kyle: Who goes there?
Brendan: It is I—
Mitchell (stands up from the playground): Woopsie, haha, I messed up.
Kyle: Alright, cut.
Take Three
Me: The setting is outside the very white sanded desert cave on the planet Arrakis, otherwise known as Dune. The Lady Jessica and her son Paul, the new Atreides duke, are wandering aimlessly through the desert when they come across Fremen land.
Mitchell: Whaaaaa!!! (jumps off playground and collapses laughing)
Kyle: Who goes there? This is Fremen Land, and you are TRESPASSING!!!
Brendan: I am the duke of the Atreides family, and this is Lady Jessica.
Kyle (walks up to Kristin and kisses her hand): Hello!
[minor fight scene]
Kyle: Should I take ‘em hostage?
Mitchell (hesitantly, he’s getting freaked out by Kyle): No, they are friends…
Brendan: We are friends!
Mitchell (off camera): Cut the scene…cut the darn—
Me (off camera): Fight Scene!
Kyle: I can’t believe I was bested by this child! I will do one-on-one duel with you! Let’s take him to the cave…I’m gonna kick his butt!
Brendan: I don’t want to kill you, though!
Kyle: (maniacal laughter)
Brendan: FINE!
Kyle: I will kill you!
Kristin: Are you sure?
Brendan: I’m not sure, but I will then, if it’s…mandatory.
Kyle: I will kill you. I’m going to KILL YOU!
Brendan: Well then BRING IT ON!
Kyle: Kill you!
Brendan: BRING IT ON!! (taunts with stick)
Me (off camera): This is the real Fight Scene!
Kyle: Let’s fight!
[lots of fighting, running, and slipping on the snow while fighting with sticks]
Kyle: BRING IT ON!
[manly grunting]
Kyle: Paul, of the Atreides, I will KILL YOU!! I WILL KIILL YOU!!
Brendan: You are my friend…(runs up behind him, brandishing a stick)…CHARGE!!!!
[random shot of Mitchell writhing on the floor because he has to pee so bad]
Kyle: The blind man is killing me!
Brendan: I don’t want to kill him! I don’t want to do it, but I will! (stabs him)
[Kyle screams a lot]
Kyle: Oh…the water…water of my body…(unintelligible)
Mitchell (off screen): Cut the darn scene!
Kyle: The rest of the scene might be a little too bloody for the rest of you…down there…so I’ll have to turn it off…you know…so five-year-old children don’t get a sense of the PG-13 idea.
Brendan (off screen): Scene 2: The Ceremony. Setting in the cave. Now the Fremen are holding a ceremony for the dead Jamis…(unintelligible rambling)…his family will SAY A THING OR TWO ABOUT HIM…(unintelligible rambling)…PAUL IS REQUIRED to participate…there is the dead Jamis, sitting in the pale chamber wall!
Brendan (on screen, sounding freakishly like a Gospel preacher): I was a friend of Jamis…Jamis taught me…OH, Jamis was a FREEEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!…OH JAMIS JAMIS…Jamis taught me…OH JAMIS TAUGHT ME…Jamis taught me that when you kill somebody…when you kill somebody you pay for it…and now I’ve learned that…and I’m sorry! I’m SO SORRY! AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!!!
(Kyle tapes all of this)
Brendan: We are done with the last scene, and now we’re going on to the Drunken Duncan scene.
Kristin: What is all that noise?
Me: I killed over 300 men for my Duke!
Brendan (grabbing onto my sleeve): He escorted a lady…a lady Duke’s daughter…home.
Kristin: Get Dr. Yueh.
Brendan (while struggling to hold on to me): He’s drunk on spice beer! He’s drunk on spice beer!
Me: Too much spice beer?!
Brendan: Shut up! You woke the Lady Jessica!
Me: Who cares?
Me: I won’t take orders from a Harkonnen spy!
[Kristin throws water in my face]
Me: FREAK! You Harkonnen spy!
Kristin: What do you mean?
Me: You are a spy! You are a spy from the Harkonnen…House.
Kristin: Did Hawat come up with this?
Me: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!
[Kristin throws the rest of the water in my face]
Brendan: Time for bloopers! (strips)
Brendan: This is the Duncan Idaho Scene that we cut. We will now act it out for you. The scene that we cut WE DIDN’T REALLY CUT!!!!!
Mitchell (off screen): Hey dude!
Brendan (off screen): How are we gonna act it out?
Me (off screen): No, we can use the script, Brendan, we can just hand it back and forth.
Brendan: “I want my bloody sheath!”
Me: Okay, here, gimme it. Who’s…
Kyle: Ready? And…
Me: I want my bloody sheath you scallywag! Ever heard of Tutankhamun the 4th or 88th? I forget. Crap. I want my mamma!
Kristin: What’s this? I was attacked in the middle of the night! I must go to sleep! But what about Paul? And my Leto, my dear Leto!
Me: Who are thee who dare enter my company, you witch?
Kristin: It’s me, Jessica, lover of thy duke, Leto!
Me: Oh no! Not you witch, shoot!
Kristin: Are you insulting my name, poor old drunk Idaho?
Me (while slowly collapsing to the floor): No! Must…not…no! Being much, no! Leto, Paul, not Paul! Idea! Hawat! Not me! Never…was…never met!
Brendan: He escorted a lady…a lady FRIEND! He’s a very nice fellow, that lady!
Me: I know what you’re talking about, women, AH! Me like escorting women! The woman I escorted home tonight was a bad LADY! Had to kill five Charizards to get her home! Then she drunk me up and tried to ‘ill me! And come here to watch duke…duke Leto’s Jessica…the suspected TRAITOR!!
Kristin: What do you mean, you old mutt? I’m going to whip—(starts laughing uncontrollably)
Me: You’re going to whip my behind with a mallet? You’re going to get Mapes to go get some spice beer? What’s the matter with you, woman?!
Brendan: Here’s some spice coffee! Here’s what he’s been drunk on!
Me: I don’t have a part…(laughter) I don’t have apart till the all wet part!
Brendan: This is Mapes. “Yes my lady.” This is Jessica.
Kristin: Guards, get me some water. Someone get Yueh.
Brendan (bearing snow): Your water! Yes, Lady Jessica! On the double, ma’am!
[Kristin puts the snow on my head]
Me: I’m all wet! Why’d you get me all wet? I like to be dry!
Brendan: Jessica then says: “if you want to be dry, go outside and dry up! Maybe some more ladies will show up, getting drunk again will not hurt you!” Yueh (pronouncing it “you”): “You called my Lady? My Lady Jessica? My Lady?” “Yes, You—”
Me: It’s “YOO-uh!”
Brendan: “Yes Yoo-UHHH! Give this intoxicated insult-hurling Idaho some medicine to calm him down!” YUAAAH: “Yes my lady. On the double my fair Lady Jessica Mistress Lady.” Idaho: “Not the spice coffee, that’s powerful stuff! It’s just plain old addictive! Go away Yueh, HOME!!” Jessica: “You, give me some of that stinkin’ coffee. I’m wanting you to drink this drinkin’ drunken stuff, drunken Duncan!” Idaho: “I don’t like taking orders from traders, especially such a bad one as her.” (points to me)
Me: Me?
Brendan: “I mean her (points to Kristin). I musn’t daren’t daren’t…I musn’t daren’t drink it! Go away you witch!” “Watching you has been hard enough, you slippery old slime ball, you! Wait…no. Yes. You. Wait…”
Me (seeing he’s completely confused himself): Jessica. Jessica.
Brendan: JESSICA!! “How could you betray me! You! You! Betray me! Leto too, and he must have known…” (getting way too emotional)
Me: It’s okay…
Mitchell (off screen): JUST READ IT!!
Brendan: “Oh no! Oh. No! It’s not me. I would never hurt my Leto. My darling Leto. My darling duke Leto. My darling duke duke duke Leto.” Idaho: “He is not your Leto. You are his Jessica! He OWNS YOU!”
[hands the script to me, then realizes the mistake, and tries to give it to Kristin]
Brendan: No, Jessica reads it.
Me (desperate): But I wanna read it!
Mitchell (laughing): No, no Jessica reads it.
Brendan: Slowly! Slowly!
Kristin: It must have been Hawat’s idea! He’s always hated me because I am a Bene Gesserit! He is a failure! A sleazy, cowardly, mocking, blabbering, repetitive, annoying, son-of-a-dog person! You must have known about this, Yueh. I thought I could trust you!
Mitchell (with camera turned on him): It wasn’t me! I’m not even in this scene!
Kristin: Ever heard of Judas, the loser who cheated Jesus because he was afraid of a more earthly power? You are all like him, all of you!”
Fun times. Brendan REALLY reminds me of Lanky. And “I’m wanting you to drink this drinkin’ drunken stuff, drunken Duncan” is the best sentence ever written.
Benford’s Law: The Project
Exploratory Data Analysis Project 3: Make a Pretty Graph in R (NOT as easy as it sounds)
Seriously, the code to make the graphs is longer than the code to extract the individual lists of digits from the random number vector.
Anyway.
The goal was to show a simple yet informative demonstration of Benford’s Law. This law states that with most types of data, the leading digit is a 1 almost one-third of the time, with that probability decreasing as the digit (from 1 to 9) increases. That is, rather than the probability of being a leading digit being equal for each number 1 through 9 the probabilities range from about 30% (for a 1) to about a 4% (for a 9).
For the first graph, I wanted to show how quickly the law breaks down after the leading digit (that is, I wanted to see if the second and third digit distributions were more uniform). I took a set of 10,000 randomly generated numbers, took the first three digits of each number, and created a data set out of them. I then calculated the proportion of 1’s, 2’s, 3’s…9’s in each digit place and plotted them against Benford’s proposed proportions. Because it took me literally two hours to plot those stupid errors of estimate lines correctly (the vertical red ones), I just did them for the leading digit.
For the second graph, I took a data table from Wikipedia that listed the size of over 1,000 lakes in Minnesota (hooray for Wiki and their large data sets). I split the data so that I had only the first number of the size of the lakes, then calculated the proportion of each number. I left out the zeros for consistency’s sake. I did the same with the first 10,000 digits of pi, leaving out the zeros and counting each number as a single datum. I wanted to see, from the second graph, how Benford’s law applied to “real life” data and to a supposedly uniformly-distributed set of data (pi!).
Yes, this stuff is absolutely riveting to me. I had SO MUCH FUN doing this.
Claudia vs. Chess
I have never played chess.
I have no freaking idea how to play chess.
But since Vista is stupid and decided to break up with Pinball, chess is really the only interesting game to play since I lack internet at my house.
I think part of my problem is that I can’t tell which piece is thequeen and which piece is the king…I don’t know if that’s my fault or if Vista also thinks that my getting involved with Chess is about as bad an idea as getting rid of pinball (can you tell I’m bitter?).
Anyway.
I’m playing on level 1 out of 10 and I’m still sucking royally (HAHA CHESS JOKE).
The end.
NRRRRR
GOD people are rude here. I say “excuse me” in the grocery store aisle even when it is obvious that the other person is being an idiot and wandering slowly down the aisle with their huge butt and similarly huge cart, completely oblivious to the world around them. Why does everyone give me a dirty look? Wouldn’t it just be common courtesy to say “excuse me” back, or say it first, since you’re blocking the entire fucking aisle in the first place?
Seriously, I haven’t heard the words “excuse me” uttered by anyone here, and it’s really getting annoying.
The Statistician’s Prayer
“Our distribution, which art bivariate, normal be thy name. Thy z-scores true, covary too, in yhat as it is in the x’s. Give us this day our regression equation, and forgive us our error, now and in the hour of prediction. Amen.”
Just a little something I came up with last night. None of us know how we did on the midterm, so we all probably did pretty poorly.
But oh well. Right?
Also this. Stifling my laughter ‘cause I was still in my office = fail.
Eigenblogger 