Worms
I saved* a worm on the sidewalk today.
It was super dried out and moving just enough that I thought it could recover if it was moved to some moist soil, so I picked him up and put him in the cool, shaded soil under a bush near the sidewalk.
Why does this matter?
Back when I was a kid (early elementary school) I was known as the “worm saver” because I would always use my recess time following a rainstorm to go around and make sure the worms out on the sidewalk weren’t going to get stepped on/drowned in a puddle/dried out once it got sunny and hot again. One of my teachers even gave me a necklace with a little pendant of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, because of how often I was out trying to make sure the worms would be safe.
Anyway. It’s been a while since I saved a worm, and doing so today kinda brought me back to elementary school.
*Not sure if I actually saved him. Certainly made it a lot less likely he’d get stepped on, at least.
HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN HERO
Y’all want some cool math stuff?
Of course you do.
Nate was reading a Reddit thread titled “What is the coolest mathematical fact you know of?” The two that were the coolest to me are the following:
An explanation of just how many different ways there are to uniquely shuffle a deck of 52 cards.
Graham’s number. Ridiculous.
Seriously, read these. Numbers are amazing.
Is it a survey? OF COURSE IT IS WHAT ELSE IS THIS GARBAGE BLOG FOR
Warning: I’m in a caps lock mood, so be prepared.
What is the color of the last towel you used?
Tan.
Are you listening to music right now?
I’m blasting the hell out of my eardrums with the Planet Earth II Suite. It’s such a good song.
If so, whatcha listening to?
CRAP I DIDN’T SEE THIS QUESTION BEFORE RESPONDING TO THE PREVIOUS ONE I MESSED UP BIG TIME
Would you rather have a hippo or rhino dropped on you?
A hippo, but only if it’s hungry hungry.
Do you walk a lot?
Bitch, pls.
If you’re still in school, what number is your locker?
GOD I MISS SCHOOL
What color is it?
SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Do you have any super silly nicknames?
I’m Claudia Marie Bitchin’ McGee, but that’s not a nickname.
That’s a responsibility.
Have you ever heard of the Japanese snack Yan Yan?
Nope.
Do you watch sports?
Baseball!
Which ones, if any?
SHIT I DID IT AGAIN
Do you enjoy the great outdoors?
I appreciate the mediocre outdoors.
Do you like cream soda?
Ew.
Is there anyone who hates you?
Probably.
What color is your cell phone?
Blue!
How does your hair look right now?
Awful.
Are you on any medications?
Nope.
What is the last piece of mail you received?
No idea. Probably something from RBC or CIBC.
How about e-mail?
Probably a question from a student.
Who is your 15th contact in your phone?
I don’t have that many contacts.
Name something you like about school.
E V E R Y T H I N G
Do you eat meat, or are you a vegetarian?
I will eat meat, but I don’t ever eat it unless it’s at a restaurant or something. I never cook it on my own.
Have you ever cried in front of a teacher?
I’ve cried in front of everyone.
Have you ever cried BECAUSE of a teacher?
Oh yeah.
Do you do a :) or a (:?
(: is the most uncomfortable thing on the planet to look at.
Do you have a Facebook?
Yup.
Do you go on it often, if you do?
I stalk people, but I never post anymore.
What is the closest gas station to you?
That Shell across the street.
Who did you last see in concert?
OK Go!
What grade are you in?
Can we stop with the school questions? It’s making me feel nostalgic and sad.
Are paper clips fun to play with?
Meh.
Can you speak any other language?
I know some sign language. And I can fingerspell.
Do you prefer mechanical pencils or regular pencils?
Mechanical.
Do you have a job?
Yup!
What’s your job?
Stats instructor at U of C. Best job ever.
Do you take advil, tylenol, or ibuprofen?
Ibuprofen, but only when I’m really hurting.
Do you enjoy classic rock?
Sure.
Have you ever heard of the band Citizen Cope?
Yes.
Is your alarm clock set right now?
Nope.
What kind of music do you listen to the most?
Anything that catches my fancy. I’ve broadened my musical tastes a lot with this “Decade of Music” project.
If you witnessed a crime, would you call the police right away?
Depends on the crime. Littering? Nah, I’d just clean up the mess. Murder? Nah, I’d just clean up the mess. Yes.
Are you itchy right now?
Nope.
Do you like pine trees, or do think the sap is too annoying?
Trees are gods DO NOT INSULT THEIR ZEUS JUICE
Mountains or beach?
Beach, just because I like the sound of the ocean.
Are your walls blank or covered with pictures/posters?
Blank, except for Leibniz.
Have you ever tried veggie burgers?
Nope.
Do you have anything on your wrists?
I have six (yes, six) hair ties on my left wrist right now.
Do you have a mirror in the room you are in?
No.
Have you ever had corn nuts?
Hell yeah! I used to eat them while playing Moto Racer when I was a kid.
Do you smoke?
Nope.
What is your favorite shape?
Triangle.
Who did you last kiss?
My wonderful husband.
Do you have any favorite accessories?
Meh.
What color are your sheets?
…are they striped? Why the hell can’t I remember the sheets?
What time did you wake up this morning?
Too early.
Did you take a nap today?
Nope.
Would you rather get a tattoo of a face or a name?
Name.
Do you get a lot of sleep at night?
I never get a lot of sleep.
What was the last flavor of ice cream you ate?
Uhhhhhh…Oreo?
Where were you an hour ago?
Walking.
When’s the last time you got a haircut?
I sawed off a bunch of my hair not too long ago.
Anything good in your cabinets?
More half-empty pasta boxes than there are atoms in our solar system.
How old are you?
29.
Cupcakes or muffins?
Muffins, but only poppy seed.
Are pigs adorable or dirty?
Pigs are coolio.
What color are your shoelaces?
Purplish-pink.
Anything moldy in your house?
Don’t think so.
Have you ever been in an earthquake?
No.
Do you enjoy history?
Sure. I don’t know enough of it, but I enjoy it.
How much time do you spend on Facebook?
More than I should.
What internet browser do you use?
Chrome.
Do you work full-time or part-time?
Technically part time, but I’ve been working ALL THE DAMN TIME THIS SEMESTER
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Santa’s a badass.
When is the last time you yawned?
Haha, just now. THANKS, QUESTION
Do you wear a lot of makeup?
Not a lot.
Do you wanna learn any other languages?
I would love to be fluent in sign language.
Have you been outside your native country?
I am right now!
What is the worst pain you’ve ever experienced?
Appendicitis?
Are you a confident person?
Hahaha, I thought that said “are you a confident pizza,” and I was like no, my toppings are insecurity and “STOP STARING AT ME I’M NOT A SIDESHOW”
Do you own a laptop or desktop?
Both!
What’s the temperature outside?
No idea.
Did you get hit by any hurricanes?
Hahaha. If we ever did up here, something’s gone terribly wrong.
Could you ever be a mortician?
Sure.
Are you pumped up about anything?
Not right now.
Can you solve a Rubik’s cube?
Never tried.
What color hair do you have?
Black.
Have you ever eaten a bug?
By accident.
What color are your kitchen walls painted?
Yellowish.
Bees Get Degrees
Want to know a) what other people with your same college degree are doing, and b) how much they’re earning doing it? Check this thingy out!
Here are mine:
Psychology (females, my age group)
I wouldn’t want to be any of those.
Philosophy (females, my age group)
That’s…surprising.
Math (females, my age group)
Hey, there’s postsecondary teachers!
Could be worse, I suppose. I’d rather be happy than rich!
Di-Vine Punishment
Man, I don’t know if it’s because I’m beyond sleep deprived right now or what, but this is a damn fine set of Vines.
Why did they take Vine away from us?
Why?
Anosmia: Cat Food Edition
Believe it or not, I don’t think my anosmia has ever caused me to give myself food poisoning or anything like that. I mean, I’ve had food poisoning before (most likely?), but it’s not because I didn’t smell that the milk had gone rotten or that item XYZ was past its expiration date.
So as surprising as it might seem, my anosmia has never caused me any food-related problems.
But it just caused a problem for Jazzy.
I went to give Jazzy her soft food this morning and she took about half a bite of it before walking away. This isn’t unusual; on the weekends she gets her favorite type of crunchies, so she usually will ignore her soft food in favor of the crunchies.
But then Nate came in the kitchen and was basically like, “why does it smell like death in here?” Turns out the soft food I’d just given Jazzy was super rotten. And I had absolutely no idea.
Awesome.
I cleaned out the bowl and gave her some new non-rotten (as checked by Nate) soft food, and she ate some of it, but then she threw up like two minutes later. I’m not sure if she threw up because of the bit of rotten food she had or because she inhaled the other soft food + crunchies (which happens sometimes), but I still feel bad. I don’t give a crap if I accidentally poison myself, but I don’t want to hurt my kitty.
Stupid nose.
She wants the d/dx
Stuff I gotta do when that elusive jerkface Free Time returns:
- Walk until my toes fall off.
- Clean the condo. My responsibilities are the bathroom and kitchen, which get the most visibly gross the fastest.
- Consolidate my pasta. No, that’s not a euphemism for naughtiness. So the one thing I ever make for dinner is penne pasta with broccoli and feta cheese, right? Well, I have this phenomenally bad habit of using about 88% of a box of penne before buying another box and starting in on that one. Then it gets 88% used and the cycle repeats itself until I have 20+ mostly empty boxes of pasta in the cupboard and a new box of pasta in my backpack that I picked up from Safeway on my walk home and another box of pasta in my office desk drawer because it wouldn’t fit in my backpack and a husband who’s wondering where he went wrong in selecting a wife.
- Clean the little storage room in the back. There’s a lot of boxes back there. And cat litter dust. Time to sweep where no man has swept before!
- Clean my side of the closet. There’s a lot of boxes in there. Mostly shoe boxes full of dead Kinvaras.
- Draw more. Nate bought me an awesome sketchbook and a set of really nice markers, but I haven’t had a chance to touch them yet.
- Organize my bookmarks. Most of them are in alphabetical order, but the rest are in a chaotic mess. I don’t like it.
- Read this amazing biography of this amazing human being yet again, because it’s getting to be that time of the year.
- Rewrite my old calculus notes into one giant notebook combining calc I, calc II, and calc III. Because calculus.
- Do my 50-mile walk. It’s time.
- Organize the crap on my computer. My desktop is all a-clutter with random files named “lasjflsdjf” and “what is existence” and “AAAAAAAAAAAAA” (100% real titles) and I have no idea what the hell they are and how necessary it is to keep any of them.
- POST THESE BLOGS OMFG
An Ode To Cumuli
Sung to the tune of Queen’s Fat Bottomed Girls
Oh won’t you coat the sky today
Oh block out all those UV rays
Oh and you never bring the rain
Flat bottomed clouds you give this rocking world some shade
Hey I was just a walking fiend
Who forgot to wear sunscreen
Thought I’d burn before I’d walk a couple miles
But then overhead you towered
Soft and white like cauliflower
Heaping cumulus, you done make this walker smile
Hey hey!
I’ve been walking, don’t you know
‘Cross the city, ‘cross the Bow
I’ve felt every ray of sunshine on the way
But when I’m beneath your shade
I feel like I could walk all day
‘Till the sun goes down and its rays you glow
C’mon
Oh won’t you coat the sky today
Oh block out all those UV rays
Oh and you never bring the rain
Flat bottomed clouds you give this rocking world some shade
Flat bottomed clouds you give this rocking world some shade
Yes, I know there’s another verse, but this is all I remember coming up with on my walk this afternoon, so chill.
Innernet
I’m too stressed out to make a normal blog post, so have some internet stuff.
I wish more people realized that how you compose an email says a lot about you and can either get you want you want or get you exactly the opposite.
This is hysterical. I love when you see their little feet sneak in on the side to try and save their friend from the madness they’ve created.
I found a playlist on YouTube of all the MST3K shorts and I can’t stop laughing. My dad bought a bunch of MST3K on DVD back when I was a kid and my favorite part of them was whenever they did a “short,” which was usually some sort of after school special or a short little informative thing on how something is made. Favorites include “Why Study Industrial Arts,” “The Chicken of Tomorrow,” “A Date with Your Family,” and “Cheating.”
I pretty much love all these eyeshadows.
Puttering
My attitude toward my responsibilities right now:
I’ll leave it up to you to decide if this is a good attitude or a bad one.
Aga-meme-non
Woah, this is super satisfying and calming.
River Knee Knee River
So the Bow is really high.
That’s part of the River Walk that runs under Centre Street. They’ve got it closed off because of the amount of water that’s pooling in that low portion.
IN OTHER NEWS, I think I gave myself runner’s knee. I had no idea runner’s knee was a thing, but ever since I did the dumb of jumping from “run a 10k every other week or so” to “let’s run two half-marathons in a week because we can!” my left knee has been giving me some issues. Not enough issues to make me stop walking (it would basically take my entire leg falling off to make me stop walking, let’s be honest), but it starts to hurt after about 12 miles or so.
At least, I’m assuming it’s runner’s knee. Hopefully not something more serious.
‘Cause like hell I’m seeing a doctor.
Here, Have Some More
Y’all thought I was done with the obnoxious home movies yet?
Y’all thought wrong.
Here’s another “series” which is really just two videos titled “Hiking with Altoids” and “Hiking with Altoids II.” I’m a little bit older in these—sixth grade or so, probably.
For whatever reason, Altoids were what was happening in 6th grade. Everyone had a tin of them, we traded flavors, and we had competitions over who could hold the most Altoids in their mouth without freaking out over how strong the taste was. We pretended they were drugs.
Catholic school kids gone bad.
Our family also happened to live in a house with a back yard that ran right up against the U of I arboretum. Which, of course, was a perfect place for a lot of my nonsense movies.
So enjoy Hiking with Altoids and Hiking with Altoids II.
Yeah, this was what I did with my spare time.
BACH-A-DOODLE DOOOOO
My sense of direction and ability to orient my own self in space is absolutely terrible. I probably couldn’t navigate my way out of a paper bag.
But my spatial rotation skills? They’re quite good.
Test here!
I remember getting a pretty high score on this on that aptitude test thing I did in Seattle back in 2005, too.
I have no idea why I can correctly mentally rotate block structures but can’t retrace my own damn steps to get home. Different spatial processes, I suppose.
CRUISE PLANNED!
We all know that planning for the future is sometimes the only thing that can make me happy. Luckily, tonight Nate and I got to engage in some future planning. Specifically, we bought our tickets for our honeymoon cruise!
I mentioned a few days ago that we were likely going to try to do this this year, and the timing seems like it’s going to work out the best this year, so why not? We’re doing the 7-day inside passage with Glacier Bay cruise to Alaska in late August.
It’s been a while since I’ve been on a cruise (the last time was in July 2011), so I’m super excited! I really hope Nate likes it.
Check out our ship. We’ve got a balcony room.
WOO EXCITEMENT!
PIKACHU! ALLDKFJLSJFKLJFAK!
I am having an incredibly difficult time right now.
That’s all I’ve got today, sorry.
RIGHTY-O
Remember a while back when I was talking about how Nate and I were planning on doing our honeymoon cruise next year?
Well, we’re changing things up a bit and hope to do it…this August instead!
We have to move fairly quickly to arrange everything to make it all work (and to, you know, make sure we can actually get tickets), but we think it will happen. Super exciting!
Also, I might be coming back down for another Moscow visit in early August. My April/May trip wasn’t as long as it was supposed to be and I feel like this might be the last summer I’ll really be able to hang out with my mom in the ‘Scow, so get ready for (possibly) more Claudia, you lucky Idaho fools.
SOMEONE THROW ME OFF THE ROOF, PLEASE
My incompetence makes me physically ill.
I do not deserve the people in my life who put up with me.
Hell, I don’t deserve my life, period.
jkhkjhjhkjhk
Depressed, barely-able-to-function, “trying is hard” guy is me.
Dog is my loved ones (Nate, mom, Jazzy).
I do not deserve.
More Embarrassment
So last weekend y’all got The Grandpa Twins. This weekend it’s Coo News at 8:30, aka “The Most Depressing News Channel Ever.”
Not sure what a coo is? Read this.
That “accent” I’m using is how coos talk.
Also, sorry about it getting all warbly at the end. This was at the very end of the tape.
I ACCIDENTALLY A HALF MARATHON AGAIN
So it turns out that running two half-marathons in a week without ever running more than 8 miles at a time will lead to disturbing pain in one’s knee.
Who knew?!?!?!
Anyway. Gonna take a break on the running for a bit, but not for too long. There’s a marathon in October that I might be able to work my way up to in time. We’ll see. There’s also a marathon/half-marathon up in Banff later this month, but I’ll still be teaching and will probably be WAY too busy to take the time to go to Banff and run (I’d only do the half-marathon, of course, haha).
ALSO, Mario Kart is awesome. I’d never played it before (believe it or not), but Nate got Mario Kart 8 for the Switch and we’ve been playing it for a bit now. I don’t know why I just decided to blog about that, especially since we didn’t play tonight, but there ya go.
I like to play King Boo. Look at how cool he looks!
Anyway.
Zeet Zeet I’m a Beet
HOKAY, so I’ve walked a total of 2,199.32 miles this year so far. I want to get to 2,500 by July 1st.
So can I walk 300.68 miles in June?
I should be able to. Heck, given what I’ve walked so far this year, I’m actually averaging 439.864 miles per month, which is way more than I’ve ever done per month in the past.
SNAZZY!
Also, have some Braves playing terribly.
Claudia’s Semi-Regular Music Dump
Yo.
So this year is still going strong as being an exceptionally good year for music, so you get some tracks ‘cause I’m a nice person who just happens to have absolutely nothing else to blog about today.
GO!
- It’s been a long while since I’ve picked up a Fireflies remix.
- Electronica Green Day? This one works.
- Have some Holst.
- HANS ZIMMER, WHY YOU GOTTA MAKE SUCH HEART-WRENCHING MUSIC???? Beyond 1:40, I cranked it so loud that I think I almost blew out my headphones. And, you know, my eardrums.
- And finally: I’ve already given this song its own blog post awhile back, but there are five-star songs, and then there are Five Star songs. This is the latter. I just love this song.
Eigenblogger 