Oot and Aboot on the Scoot
I’ve mentioned the Bowness Scooter Gang on here before, but just in case anyone wants a fantastic read on the proliferation of Reddit-driven Scooter Gangs in Calgary, here y’all go:
This is the best thing to ever happen to the Calgary subreddit.
Bad Day?
Here’s a dude destroying balloons in cute, satisfying ways.
I love the sheer amount of knives.
SCOOTERGANG SCOOTERGANG SCOOTERGANG
(This has nothing to do with ScooterGang)
I have something important happening next week. I’m not sure when, but I’ll hopefully know soon.
I’m also going to be super vague about it ‘cause I don’t want to jinx things, but it’s important.
More info later, maybe.
(“ScooterGang” would be a great band name)
Another Pointless Claudia Blog
I’ve had the super strong urge lately to cut my hair short.
Like, short short.
I’ve been growing it out since before I came to Calgary (2014; partially to get rid of the bangs because they were a pain in the ass) and while I’ve trimmed to about shoulder length a few times since I’ve been up here, it’s never been quite as short as I used to wear it.
I used to get it cut almost like a pixie, but even shorter. I remember they always used that buzz clipper doodad in the back. That would be so much easier to deal with, especially since I spend about four hours a day with my hair shoved under a hat while I walk (some days it takes me an unreasonable amount of time to tame my hair for said walks, which is really dumb).
The problem is that I’m way more self-conscious about my face shape (it’s terrible) and ears (they stick out way too far) to even think about how horrible I’d look with short hair. I mean, I look horrible with long hair (or with anything else I do with my body), but I think short hair would accentuate the ugliness.
But who knows, maybe that insecurity will be outweighed by how obnoxious this long hair is by the end of the month and I’ll just chop it all off anyway.
HUH
My subconscious’ feature presentation last night was a horrific post-apocalyptic world where all human males had turned into “man-o-pedes” (centipede-type creatures that had mustaches) and all human females turned into keyboards.
That was it, there was no actual action going on or anything, but what the hell.
Aw Hail No!
Haha, so we got caught in a flash hailstorm on our way back from watching the new Spider Man movie. Observe:
We had just passed a bus stop when the hail started, otherwise we would have had to run a bit to find cover. The hail doesn’t look super big in the video, but some of them were probably dime-sized, I’d say. It sounds so loud ‘cause it was hitting the glass roof of the bus shelter.
I was yelling at Nate ‘cause that was the only way he could hear me.
Well, that’s great.
My mom’s here one night and someone broke into her van and stole a bunch of her stuff.
They smashed the window overnight and grabbed two of her backpacks full of stuff.
‘Cause people suck.
iThings?!?
Do I need one? No. Not right now. But I know I’ll need one at some point, once my current one’s battery bites it due to too many walks in freezing cold weather. I was worried that Apple would discontinue their iPods due to the fact that their phones do everything that the iPods do and more. But as this article points out, iPods are good for the demographic that can’t afford the phones and/or don’t want to deal with smart phones but still want a music player that can connect to wifi.
So yay! I’m glad there’s at least one more iteration.
Adventures in the Rain
According to the forecast, today was supposed to involve brief periods of “trace amounts” of rain. Nate and I believed the forecast, so we went out for our usual weekend walk.
Nate and I are fools.
About two and a half miles in, “trace amounts of rain” turned into “lol, better run, idiots, the sky is gonna drown you” and we had to take shelter under an overpass for a little bit before braving the strong rain to get to The Core downtown. By then, we were super soaking wet (I could wring out my coat) but only like five miles into the walk, so after trying to dry off a little in the mall, we managed to get a few more miles in by walking through the open portions of the Plus 15.
We also Plus 15-ed it to The Running Room for me to get shoes, then gunned it home to try to beat even more rain.
Fun, yo.
Young man / why you wearing a frown / I said young man / SHIT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN
(It’s the May List)
- THE BLOGS ARE COMING, I PROMISE
- What in the name of the seven holy fucks is this music video?
- It’s my brain as of late:
- It’s been two days without a Mets game and I am in freaking withdrawal.
- My skin looks really clear in this picture. It also looks like I’m completely out of fucks. I kinda like it (at least as much as I can “like” any picture of myself).
OKAY BYEEEEEE
EigenLOSER
Man, I really need to update Eigenblogger.
Not only the blog posts, of course, but like everything else.
My “About” section could use a bit of a re-vamp; my “100 Things” list most definitely needs to be updated.
I don’t think I’ve updated my “365 Songs” page since 2017, despite the fact that I’ve still kept up to date with getting a new song daily.
Life’s rough.
Maybe once I get all these garbage backlogged blogs posted, I’ll update everything else.
Stay tuned, I know you all are on the edge of your seats.
A Thought:
I propose that they officially change the name of Big Ben to “Large Benjamin.” It just sounds so much more British.
Also, “Big Ben” sounds like a name that bullies on the playground would come up with.
This is why I have no friends.
I FORGOT TO MENTION…
I got a huge tax return this year. We’re talking $8,700.
What in the actual hell, Canada.
A good portion of that is going to the furnace/water heater we just had to replace, but what about the rest of it?
(Can I buy a Theremin?)
Na na naaaaa na…
Na na naaaaa na…
Hey, hey, hey…
What the fuck is this.
THE SPRING/SUMMER FRECKLES ARE BACK
That didn’t take long.
OPENING DAY
It’s BASEBALL TIME, BITCHES!
It’s also the start of my season-long simulation of my fake baseball league, the Canadian Baseball League (CBL)!
So here’s what’s the what: I made up a total of 30* fake teams, put them into leagues and divisions, then had Out of the Park Baseball draft all the current** players and get them on the teams.
So without further ado, here are said teams, divisions, and leagues. I have two leagues that are called the Canadian League (as opposed to the American League) and the National League. Just like real MLB, there are three divisions within each league.
Canadian League
CL EAST
- Halifax: The Halifax Dreadhawks
- Newfoundland: The Newfoundland Hounds
- Ottawa: The Ottawa Mounties
- Quebec: The Quebec Rebels
- Saint John: The Saint John Saints
CL CENTRAL
- Hamilton: The Hamilton Steelers
- London: The London Chaps
- Saskatchewan: The Saskatchewan Winds
- Toronto: The Toronto Blue Jays
- Winnipeg: The Winnepeg Warriors
CL WEST
- Anchorage: The Anchorage Timberwolves
- Calgary: The Calgary Cowboys
- Edmonton: The Edmonton Oil Barons
- Victoria: The Victoria Royals
- Yukon: The Yukon Gold
National League
NL EAST
- Fredericton: The Fredericton Fighters
- Montreal: The Montreal Expos
- Nova Scotia: The Nova Scotia Mariners
- Nunavut: The Nunavut Miners
- Prince Edward Island: The Prince Edward Islanders
NL CENTRAL
- Manitoba: The Manitoba Lakers
- Ontario: The Ontario Horseshoes
- Regina: The Regina Giants
- Thunder Bay: The Thunder Bay Lightning
- Windsor: The Windsor Welders
NL WEST
- Alberta: The Alberta Bulls
- British Columbia: The BC Bears
- Saskatoon: The Saskatoon Sabers
- Vancouver: The Vancouver Blues
- Yellowknife: The Yellowknife Blizzards
I plan on simulating each day of the 2017 season in sync with this year’s actual MLB season. I’ll keep y’all updated on the standings weekly (though I’m sure none of you will actually care) and let you know if there are any simulated versions of current players doing any cool simulated things.
*I kept the Blue Jays and re-added the Expos, so I guess it’s only 28 fake teams, but whatev.
**Well, okay, I have OOTP 18, so my players are the 2017 versions of themselves.
I AM EXCITE
Guys
It feels
SO
GOOD
to be able to walk outside and not fight hypothermia the whole way.
Seriously, if you ever hear me complain about any temperatures higher than -10 again, punch me in the face.
The March List? Ugh, screw it.
- U of C: Safety First!
- I need to hurry up and finish naming the rest of my fake baseball teams so I can simulate my fake season.
- I’ve fallen back down the rabbit hole that is Riverdale. Nate and I stopped watching in the middle of season 2 because we were like WTF, but I’ve watched so many reviews on how absolutely terrible season 3 is that I just had to see it for myself. Crappy teen dramas are kind of my thing, anyway.
- It’s really nice to be able to actually enjoy my walks again instead of fighting off hypothermia for four hours.
- Look at how FREAKING CUTE the tomatoes on this packet look.
- I want to jump off a cliff.
K bye.
Eigenblogger 