Haha…beat THIS, Maggie!
The 500 question survey! Bwahaha!
1.What time is it?
9:08
Personal
2.Do you want to answer these?
Of course! I love this crap!
3.Name?
Claudia
4.Name spelled backwards?
Aidualc
5.What is your quest?
To discover the secrets of the universe. Seriously.
6.Nickname?
Claudimadius!
7.Age?
19—I’m a geezer
8.Hometown?
Moscow, Idaho
9.What were you born in?
A hospital?
10.Where do you live now?
Moscow. Yeah.
11.What state?
Idaho. Woo.
12.Ever going to move?
Haha, I desperately want to. It’s one of the reasons I want to finish college early
13.Would you rather live somewhere else?
Antarctica. I’ve always wanted to live there
14.Birthdate?
February 2nd, 1988
15.When do you blow out your candles?
When they’re lit
16.Day you were born?
Tuesday (“full of grace” my ass)
17.Zodiac sign?
Aquarius!
18.Do you know what that is?
Yes. A water-bearer. The 11th sign of the zodiac. I could go on and on if you wanted, but I’ve only answered 18 questions
19.Sex?
Female, unfortunately
20.Height?
5’2″, unfortunately
21.Weight?
124, +/- 5 lbs
22.Eye color?
Hazel
23.Hair color?
Black
24.Any siblings?
No! Woo!
25.Names and ages?
None! Woo!
26.Do you get along with them?
I probably wouldn’t if I had them
27.Any pets?
Yes, three
28.Names?
Quilly, Annabelle, Romeo
29.Parents?
Yes?
30.Names?
Bob and Karen
31.Do you get along with them?
My mom, yes
32.Married or divorced?
Divorced
33.How long?
17 years
34.Website?
www.geocities.com/antarctica_freak, but don’t go there right now. It’s undergoing a facelift
35.Email?
antarcticafreak@hotmail.com (can you tell I like Antarctica?)
36.AOL s/n?
None
37.Yahoo s/n?
Antarctica_freak
38.ICQ?
None
39.MSN?
It varies
40.How many people are on your buddy list?
You mean how many people I have on MSN? 12
41.Phone number?
I don’t even know what it is
42.Personality?
Strange. Odd. Myself!
School
43. Do you want to answer these?
Ahoy
44.What school do you go to?
U of I
45.What year are you?
Freshman with Sophomore standing
46.What are you?
As in major? A psychology major, English/History/Philosophy minors (dork)
47.Hardest class?
Literature of Western Civilization II. Lots of stuff to cover
48.Easiest class?
Concert band! I love this class!
49.Most fun class?
Literature of Western Civilization II—my teacher rocks!
50.What day did school start?
This semester? January 10th, I think
51.Do you have classes with friends?
Two classes. I’m lonely…
52.Do you have friends?
A few. I’m lonely…
53.Do you go to school events?
Just football games, and only if the marching band is playing
54.What was the last event you went to?
A basketball game, I think
55.Do you have school spirit?
Eh
56.Do you go to dances?
Blah
57.Stag or with someone?
Neither!
Relationships
58. Do you want to answer these?
Ah, now we get into the depressing ones
59.Have a significant other?
No
60.What is their name?
*cries*
61.How old are they?
*rolls on floor, crying*
62.How long have you been going out?
*starts the self-pity rocking motion*
63.Have you been faithful?
I would be if I had a partner!
64.Do you have a crush?
Oh god yes
65.Who?
Not telling! If you don’t know, you don’t listen
66.Do they know you like them?
I think so
67.You ever going to tell them?
I have. That was disaster
68.Do you have an online crush?
Nope. But I do tend to have an affinity to cartoon characters…
69.Who?
No online ones
In the Past 24 Hours Have You?
70. Do you wonder why I’m asking these questions?
It’s fun!
71.Had a serious talk?
Nope
72. Hugged someone?
Nope
73.Fought with a friend?
Nope
74.Cried?
Yes
75.Laughed?
Yes
76.Made someone laugh?
Yes
77.Bought something?
Ink cartridge!
78.Cut your hair?
My bangs, yes
79.Felt stupid?
Constantly
80.Talked to someone you love?
Yes
81.Missed someone?
Not really
Have-you-ever ?
82. You want me to tell you?
Please
83.Smoked?
Nope
84.Stolen something?
Yes. I’m bad
85.Done drugs?
Zoloft…
86.Drank?
Nope
87.Gotten drunk?
Nope
88.Eaten an entire box of Oreos?
Ew
89.Been dumped?
Rejected for prom 9 times in one day…
90.Had someone be unfaithful to you?
Nope
91.Hiked up a mountain?
Kamiak Butte. Does that count?
92. Stayed home on Saturday night, just because?
Always do
93.Been in love?
Um…
94.Seen the White House?
In person, yes
95.Seen the Eiffel Tower?
Nope, just in pictures
96.Try smoking?
Nope
97.Played monopoly?
I rock at Monopoly
98.Seen Titanic?
Yes. Not the actual ship, mind you
99.Kissed someone?
Nope
100.Tried a weight loss program?
Nope
101.Jumped on a trampoline?
Yes
102.Colored in a coloring book (and had fun)?
A long time ago
103.Had a bubble bath?
A long time ago
104.Been on a plane?
Yes
105.Been on a boat?
Yes
106.Been on a train?
I don’t think so
107.Been in a car accident?
Nope
108.Ridden an elephant?
I wish
109.Made a web page?
Haha, yes, a crappy one
110.Played with Barbies?
They have had many adventures…20,000 Leagues Through the Sewage Line
111.Stay up all night?
Yes. Stupid EEG…
112.Shoved stuff under your bed to make your room look clean?
No, actually
113.Called a psychic or sex hotline?
Nope
114.Watched Jerry Springer?
A long time ago
115.Gotten in trouble for talking in class?
“What the hell are perfect squares?” Haha, yes. Many times
116.Been afraid of the dark?
Nope
117.Been in the hospital (not visiting)?
Yes
118.Had stitches?
Yes
119.Dumped someone and regretted it?
Never dumped anyone
120.Gone out with more than one person at a time?
Never gone out with anyone
121.Lied?
Yes
122.Been arrested?
No
123.Fallen asleep in class?
No! Woo! Almost in core, though…
124.Gotten in trouble in class?
Yes, but not in college so far
125.Used food for something other than to eat?
The Van Gogh tribute thingy, and that anatomically correct heart I made
126.Met a celebrity?
Nope
127.Broken the law?
Yes
128.Ever loved someone so much it made you cry?
Oh man…do I have to answer this?
129.Hated yourself?
Yes
130.Been brokenhearted?
Yes
131.Broken someone’s heart?
Not that I’m aware of
132.Are you a virgin?
Not that I’m aware of…oh wait! Different question! Yes. Yes I am
133.Done something really stupid?
Yes
134.Been arrested?
Nope
135.Hurt a friend?
I’ve physically jumped on Aneel’s back more times than we both care to remember. Oh, emotionally?
Probably
136.Broken a bone?
No, surprisingly
137.Ever had a crush on a teacher?
Let’s just say I was always excited to go to physical science
Favorites
138. Why do you want to know?
Why not?
139.Guy name?
Adam
140.Girl name?
I’ve always liked “Lily,” but only with that spelling
141.Nationality?
Basque!
142.Color?
Orange
143.Holiday?
Christmas
144.Day of the week?
Tuesday
145.Restaurant?
Bonanza. I miss it
146.Fastfood restaurant?
Wendy’s!
147.Food?
Potatoes. Yes. I like potatoes and I live in Idaho. Deal with it!
148.Animal?
Cat
149.Pet?
Annabelle (cat)
150.Store?
Goodwill!
151.Mall?
Palouse Empire…the only mall I know
152.Clothes brand?
Whatever fits me
153.Soda?
None, don’t drink it
154.Alcohol?
None, don’t drink it
155.Instrument?
I prefer oboe, but any, really
156.Season?
Summer
157.Number?
13 or 11
158.Radio station?
106.1
159.Song?
I’m liking Mozart’s Requiem at the moment. But that’s just the moment. It changes quickly and often
160.Sport?
Marching band
161.Vacation spot?
Antarctica!
162.State?
Alaska!
163.Country?
Antarctica! (It IS a country, dammit!)
164.Flower?
Pussywillow!
165.Perfume?
Can’t smell, don’t wear
166.Thing to do?
Contemplate
167.Actor?
Anyone who’s good
168.Actress?
Same as actor
169.Saying?
“Screw it!”
170.Car?
Whatever works. I like VW bugs and vans, though
171.Month?
February
172.Cartoon?
Futurama!
173.T.V.Show?
Boston Legal!
174.Website?
Oh god, I dunno…so many…I’m just gonna put www.commericalsihate.com because that’s the last one I visited
175.Book?
“The Caine Mutiny”
176.Quality about yourself?
I’m interesting?
I don’t have a BEST one…
178.Your best guy friend?
Anee—oh, wait. :P
179.Your best girl friend?
Aneel!
180.Fruit?
Blah, don’t like fruit. Apple, I guess
181.Vegetable?
Hm…carrots
182.Meat?
Tuna fish!
183.Quote?
“Become who you are” ~Nietzsche
184.Saying?
Isn’t that the same thing as a quote, basically?
185.Type of movie?
Comedy
186.Candy?
Snickers
187.Language?
Latin!
188.Magazine?
Popular Science
189.CD?
Mozart’s Requiem…again…
190.Store?
Goodwill…did we do these?
191.Movie?
Mystery Men!
192.Day of the week?
Tuesday
193.Singer?
That one dude
194.Band?
I like Sugar Ray a lot
Misc.
195.Why are you so curious?
Cause
196.Like to swim?
Yes
197.Like to dance?
I’d like it more if I were coordinated
198.Have a pool?
Nope
199.Have a car?
Nope
200.Going to get a car?
Eventually
201.Your motto?
“Don’t judge me prematurely. It’ll make you look stupid when I prove you wrong”
202.What do you look for in a friend?
Anything. It doesn’t matter, really, so long as they don’t piss me off 24/7
203.What do you look for in the opposite sex?
The opposite-sex parts
204.Time you get up?
6:00
205.Time you go to bed?
1-ish
206.What color are the sheets on your bed?
They’re striped…blue, pink, green, orange, purple, brown
207.How many pillows?
Two
208.Ever skip school?
No
209.Have you ever been convicted of a crime?
No
210.What did you eat for dinner?
Salad
211.What are you wearing?
Undies…bra…shirt
212.What movie makes you cry?
I don’t cry much at movies…can’t think of any at the moment
213.What book makes you cry?
“The Chosen” made me cry; “Watership Down,” too
214.What song makes you cry?
“Fix You” by Coldplay…”Shenandoah” when it’s played correctly (in other words, not played by high school kids)
215.What/Who makes you laugh so hard you cry?
“Crunchatize Me, Cap’n!”
216.What is your favorite possession?
My mind
217.What physical, tangible possession do you want most?
A Pulitzer. You get an actual thingy for that, don’t you?
218.How badly do you want it?
Very badly
219.Have you ever seen The Exorcist?
Yeah, he lives down the block
220.How long did it take you to understand why that question is here?
Still not gettin’ it…
221.Does Christmas music played too far away from Christmas annoy you?
No…it’s freaky…I just listened to Feliz Navidad a few minutes ago
222.How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older?
Been there, done that
223.What was the best Halloween costume you ever had?
A cow costume. Had it for six years before I outgrew it
224.What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?
It was a ladybug. The pins were still in it and stabbed me and I was five and it scared me and I didn’t like ladybugs for years afterwards
225.What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning?
Groundhog Day, duh!
226.There are currently no federal holidays during August-what should be put there?
Hmm…Claudia Mahler’s Half-Birthday Appreciation Day (August 2nd)
227.How good is your short-term memory?
Fantastic!
228.How good is your short-term memory?
Repetition!
229.(Not very good I see, I repeated that question, did you notice?)
Repetition!
230.How good is your long-term memory?
Repetition! (so-so)
231.What is your earliest memory?
My first concussion
232.What is your happiest memory (other than receiving this survey)?
No idea
233.What is your strangest memory?
Coming out of anesthesia after my appendix was removed. I was all, WTF?
234.What is your worst memory?
No idea
235.What song, movie, etc.
Any song, movie, etc.? “Tremors!”
236.What song, movie, etc.
Again? “Sexy Back!”
237.What size are your feet?
Size 6 women’s shoes
238.If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?
HA! Like that would ever happen
239.Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going “blind”?
Never been on a date…probably get to know them first, though
240.Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?
They could be named Robert, Rob, Bobby, Robby—as long as they weren’t named Bob
241.Have you ever wished it was more “socially acceptable” for a girl to ask a guy out?
Yes. Why do I get such strange looks when I attempt this (or talk about it)?
242.What’s your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?
Never had it, probably never will, and I’m not a big fan of the concept
243.Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?
99% of the guys I like aren’t considered physically attractive by most of the people I know, but they’re physically attractive to me, dammit! But in my own opinion, I’m not sure
244.Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?
Bahaha…haha…no
245.Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?
I think I’d do that anyway. If I ever got the chance
246.Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69?
Huh? What was the question? Sorry, I was busy laughing
247.Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?
Absolutely not
248.Do you actually know your Social Security Number?
There’s an 8 in it…and a 5
249.Do you actually know your IP address?
My what? Oh yeah. No
250.Do you know what an IP address is?
Yes
251.Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code?
Nope
252.Ever think there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?
Everything but pi is worthless
253.Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity ,imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.?
No, I get that stuff
254.What do you think of pi, you know, 3.14152967 etc..?
Everything but pi is worthless
255.Do you have a driver’s license?
Why yes I do
256.Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it?
I’m not much of a celeb person
257.What celebrity’s autograph do you want most?
Eh…I don’t care. Ooh! Ooh! William Shatner! *love*
258.Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who?
No one has ever said I looked like anyone
259.If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?
William Shatner
260.Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can’t remember who they are?
Yes. That’s why I’m not big in celebrities. 90% look the same and have basically the same names
261.If you could enter any celebrity’s mind like in “Being John Malkovich”, whose would you enter?
William Shanter!
262.Do you want to be John Malkovich?
Who the crap is John Malkovich?
263.Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?
If you know me, you know the answer. It’s yes. It’s yes, very very much
264.What do you love most about the other gender?
The fact that they can be who they are and not be as judged
265.What do you dislike most about the other gender?
The fact that I’m not one of them?
266.What do you understand least about the other gender?
How the hell they ride bikes. Or straddle things
267.Mac or PC?
PC, but only because I was weaned from Macs at a young age. They were easier, though
268.How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer or is it only as long as it works?
None. As long as it works
269.Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?
God, yes
270.Do you find you’re different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?
Yes. I go “haha” a lot more on MSN. And I spell better
271.Have you ever bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?
I’ve never bid on eBay, believe it or not
272.If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?
Duncan…
273.Would you name a child of yours after you?
I would name it Claudius, yes
274.If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?
Candida’s a pretty cool name
275.What’s the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
They say “MAIL-er.” It’s “MAUL-er.” I don’t know why this is so hard
276.If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)?
“Claudia Marie” sounds awful stripper-esque. So sure
277.Like to give hugs?
Not really
278.Like to walk in the rain?
Blah
279.Sleep with or without clothes on?
With
280.Prefer black or blue pens?
Blue
281.Dress up on Halloween?
Not for a few years now
282.Sleep on your side, tummy or back?
Side
283.Think you’re attractive?
Nope
284.Want to marry?
Nope
285.Have a goldfish?
Davis Love III, yes
286.Ever have the falling dream?
Oh yeah
287.Have stuffed animals?
I have a witch. I call her Missy Witch-Witch
288.Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?
I have the images ingrained in my head from Catholic school, but no
289.Do you think God has a gender?
God is a sheep, as explained in my story
290.Do you think science counteracts religion?
I think religion counteracts sanity
291.Do you believe in organized religion?
I do not believe in religion
292.Where do you think we go when we die?
Um…the ground
293.How easy is it to make you laugh?
Very. “The ground!” Hahahaha…
295.Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn’t?
That midget joke and racist and sexual jokes…yes
296.Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn’t?
The midget joke, yes
297.What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?
“Crunchatize me, Cap’n!” or “Erik Erickson”
298.What do you think is the funniest thing you’ve ever said or written?
“The Desert,” of course, and that Continental Chatroom thing. Those are the funniest I’ve written. As for saying, in response to what would happen if Jesus were in the Sistine Chapel when Maggie burns it: “God will have both Jesus and my asses, but he will resurrect Jesus’ ass after three days on a day that will be called ‘Asster'”
299.Do you ever dance to music when nobody’s watching, when someone’s watching?
Both, yes
300.What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?
“Pon de Replay.” I cannot stand that damn song!
301.What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?
This one Spanish song
302.What song(s) are constantly in your head?
“YMCA,” “Sexy Back” and the Butt Song
303.What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?
The Butt Song when I’m feeling crazy, “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi normally
304.If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use?
“Addicted” by Simple Plan, just because the object of my affections hates me and has hated me for several years now. Long story
305.If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used?
What I would HOPE? Howie Day’s “Collide”
306.What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to?
Man, I dunno…I like a few movies a lot of people haven’t heard of…like “Tremors” or “Mystery Men”…both of those are fun
307.Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original?
In most cases, yes. But some were rather close to the awesomeness of the original (“Toy Story 2″ for example)
308.Who’s your favorite Star Wars character?
C3PO! I always wanted to be C3PO…
309.What kind of movie do you think there should be more of?
Good ones
310.What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of?
Those damn romantic comedies and those stupid humor movies
311.When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?
Healthiness, lately. That still doesn’t stop the Chips Ahoy, though!
312.What’s your favorite kind of cheese?
Colby-Jack all the way!
313.What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?
That I’m dynamite in bed…either that or I’m destined to marry two dudes named Colby and Jack
314.If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?
Probably not
315.Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?
Nah
Friends
316.What a unique category, don’t you think?
Indeed it is
317.Are you sure you have friends?
Nope
318.Best friend?
Don’t have one
319.Second-best friend?
Don’t have one
320.Email the most?
I don’t really email any of them
321.Call the most?
Nope…not this one either
322.IM the most?
Maggie!
323.Best friend of the opposite sex?
Aneel
324.Best offline friend?
Any of ’em
325.Best online friend?
Any of ’em
326.Which friend do you dislike the most?
Maggie. I’ve stated several times that I hate her with a passion :P
327.Person you can always confide in?
Any of ’em, I suppose
328.Person that you can talk to for 12 hours straight and never get bored?
Aneel, provided he doesn’t get bored first
329.In a fight or annoyed?
None of ’em at the moment
330.Friend’s house you sleep at the most?
I’d have to say Candida’s/Shannyn’s, since I stayed over there once
331.Friend’s house you wish you could sleep at but can’t?
Aneel’s!
332.Who is the first number on your speed dial?
No one
333.Who would you take away on a week vacation?
Aneel. Cause he’s cool
334.Craziest?
Haha, all of ’em
335.Weirdest?
Same as above
336.Most fun?
Maggie
337.Saddest?
No idea
338.Quietest?
Aneel, until you get him on the subject of cars
339.Who knows you the best?
Probably Aneel
340.Who do you know the best?
Aneel!
341.Who do you like to shop with?
I’ve BEEN shopping with Aneel and E’raina and Amy…that was fun.
342.Talk with?
All of ’em, again!
343.Trust the most?
Aneel, just cause he knows that if he messes with me he’ll get killed :P
344.Flirt with?
Haha, Aneel
345.Laugh with?
Maggie
346.Give advice to?
I give advice to Aneel, but whenever he takes it it goes wrong…
347.Who gives you advice?
Aneel, E’raina
348.Best singer?
Probably Maggie or Aneel, cause they’re in choirs…but I’ve never heard anyone sing by themselves, though
349.Best athlete?
E’raina?
350.Who is the nicest?
Aneel!
351.Who is the meanest?
Man, I dunno…
352.Best dancer?
Amy. She’s so hot
353.Best writer?
Aneel! Gahahaha…”…and living in the height of my glory she died.” Best story ever
354.Best smile?
E’raina
355.Most creative?
I dunno…Aneel…again…
356.Best dressed?
Haha, Aneel
357.Best shoes?
I like E’raina’s, they’re pretty cool
358.Who doesn’t care if they lie?
Maggie? I dunno
359.Who can’t lie?
Probably Amie…
360.Most innocent?
Aneel!
361.Most innocent looking?
E’raina :P
362.Rebel?
Maggie?
363.Moodiest?
Man, I’m bad at this…
364.Happiest?
Candida!
365.Cutest?
Aneel
Do/Are/Who’s?
366. It’s because I’m bored, can’t you figure that out?
Why yes…I can!
367.Religious?
Dear god no (haha, that’s a funny sentence now)
368.Try to be fashionable?
Nope
369.Think fashion is important?
Nope
370.Get along with your family?
My mom
371.Get along with your friends?
Mostly
372.Get grounded?
Once…a long time ago
373.Know any foreign languages?
Well, I know the international language of sex and…ah, screw it
374.Run into walls/doors?
When I really, really want to
375.Blonde?
No
376.Who do you talk to most online?
Maggie
377.Who do you talk to most on the phone?
No one
378.Are you a bum?
I HAVE a bum…
379.Do you get online a lot?
Is this a trick question?
380.Do you shower?
Every other day
381.Do you hate school?
College is not all it’s cracked up to be
382.Do you have a social life?
Haha, no
383.Do you trust people easily?
No
384.Have you ever lied to your best friend(s)?
All the time! I’m lying right now! …or AM I?
385.Are you a daredevil?
When it comes to some things, yes
386.Would you ever sky dive?
Oh hell ya!
387.Do you like to dance?
I do, but I suck at it…
388.Are you funny?
I think I am. Most people define it as “annoying,” though
389.Are you a serious person?
Sometimes
390.Do you make friends easily?
Not really
391.Do you work out?
Every other day
392.Do you like to work out?
No
393.How much can you bench press?
A kitten! Honestly, not that much. 70 or so. I’m a weakling
394.How much can you lift?
I can pick up a few fat people…
395.Are you a popular person?
No
396.Do you have plans for your future?
Yes. They’re all charted out exactly, too
397.Do you plan to go to college?
I am in college, and yes, it was planned
398.Do you play sports?
Nope
399.Do you like sports?
Nope
400.Do you play an instrument?
Many
401.Know what you want to be when you get older?
Psychologist/writer/world-changer
402.Ever been out of state?
Yes! Washington, California, Wyoming, Nevada, Utah, Alaska, Missouri, Washington D.C…I think that’s about it
403.Out of the country?
Sweden! Finland! Canada! England!
404.Do you like to travel?
Yes. Yes I do
405.What do YOU think of the way you look?
It’s crappy
406.What do YOU think about your attitude?
It’s crappy
407.What do you think about life after death?
It’s something I can’t imagine very well
408.What do you think about karma?
I hate when people use the word “karma” to describe the good and bad things in life…that’s NOT what it is, people!
409.What do you think about love?
Haha…not for me :(
410.What do you think about fate?
I think it’s a possible explanation for things, but probably not a very likely one
411.What do you think about yourself?
I’m full of myself but I hate myself at the same time. What’s up with that?
412.What do you tell yourself if times get hard?
Self-hate crap. Not proud of it, either
413.What would you give your life for?
Any worthy cause, but I have yet to find one that hasn’t been corrupted
414.What do you think about your first love?
He’s a jackass
415.What do you think about the first person that loved you?
Hasn’t happened yet
416.What are you scared of?
Failure, commitment, TV screens (touching them)
417.Do you cry easily?
Haha, yes
418.Who/What is something/someone that has touched you?
Physically? That’s a long list. Mentally? A few books have gotten to me…
419.What was the saddest moment of your life?
When my grandpa died and I was in the hospital room with him
420.What would life be without friends?
Pretty much the same. Please don’t take offence to this, guys!
421.Without family?
It would suck without my mom!
422.Without you?
Better
423.Are you deep?
Sometimes. Other times, I’m like a flippin’ five-year-old
424.Do you think love is once in a lifetime, or just chance?
Chance
425.Do you like your town?
Yes, unlike most of the people who live here
426.Do you wanna get out of your town?
Yes, even though I like it. It gets a little old after 19 years
427.What design/logo is on your mouse pad?
Don’t have a mouse pad
428.What color is your mouse pad?
See above
429.Drink a lot of water?
Not really, actually
430.Have a cell phone/beeper/etc.?
I have a cell phone, but I rarely use it for anything but taking crappy pictures
431.Do you like amusement parks?
Yes! Woo!
432.Have you ever been to 6 Flags?
Nope
433.What namebrand do you wear the most?
I have no idea
434.Do you like taking pictures?
Yes, but they’re always ugly
435.Do you like getting your picture taken?
Yes, but I’m always ugly
436.Do you have a tan?
Haha…no
437.Do you get annoyed easily?
Yes. Yes, I do
438.What are you hobbies?
Reading, writing, computer crap, Flash, The Sims 2, music…all that fun stuff
439.Do you have your own phone/phone line?
In the dorm, I guess so
440.Do you have any posters/pinups on your bedroom walls?
I have two posters of Antarctica, one of the world, another of different types of clouds, and one of the Periodic Table
441.Are you sick of this survey yet?
Nope
442.Do you get good grades in school?
4.0 so far…
443.How do you vent your anger?
I yell, hit things (not people)
444.Are you a role model?
Haha…in school, yes. In life, no
445.Who do you look up to?
No one, really
446.Who do you trust the most?
I don’t trust anyone
447.Do you have any piercings?
Ears
448.Do you have any tattoos?
No, unfortunately
449.Do you dream a lot?
Yes
450.Do you daydream a lot?
Yes!
451.Have you had a nightmare lately?
Last night, actually
452.Do you have any allergies?
Asthma medicine, pineapple, random plants
453.Do you have any health problems?
I can’t smell, anemia…I think that’s about it
454.Do you like animals?
Yes! I love them
455.Do you have any pets?
Two cats and a dog
456.Do you like siblings?
I probably wouldn’t, no
457.Do you have glasses/contacts?
Yes, glasses
458.Do you have braces?
Nope
459.Do you have a job?
Haha…I’m a slacker, so no
460.Have you ever been fired from a job?
Nope
461.Who did YOU want to be President?
Anyone…ANYONE but Bush
462.Who would you vote for, if anyone, and why?
Myself! Because I rock! And I could organize and fix everything!
463.Do you have a curfew?
Nope
464.Are you a vegetarian?
Nope
465.Could you be a vegetarian?
A vegetarian, probably. A vegan, no
466.Have you ever thought about suicide?
Yes
467.Do you like coffee?
Nope
468.Do you have a sweet tooth?
Very much, yes
469.Do you like horror movies?
Eh, they’re okay
470.Do you like to spend or save your money?
I like both!
471.Do you keep your room clean?
Immaculate
472.Do yours well?
Huh?
473.Do you eat vegetables? </FONT>< SPAN>
Yes
474.Are you a flirt?
Kinda
475.Are you good at flirting?
Not at all
476.Do you like to go to parties?
Nope
477.Do you still go trick or treating?
Nope
478.Are you an angel or a little devil?
An angel sometimes, a devil others
479.Do you get along with people?
Nope
480.Have you ever just started dancing/singing in the middle of somewhere?
Yes
481.Have you ever won anything?
A few little stupid things, yes
482.Do you have a waterbed or a regular bed?
Regular
483.What size?
A twin, I think
484.Do you get bored easily?
Nope
485.Do you play golf?
I suck at golf, so no
486.Do you play miniature golf?
I suck at mini golf, so no
487.Do you like tennis?
Yes
488.Are you flexible?
Nope
489.Are you a sweet heart?
Not really
490.Would you like to be cloned?
I don’ t think the world could handle it
491.What are your opinions on cloning?
I say no. We’ve already got enough people
493.Scaramouche,scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
Thunderbolts and lightning…very very frightening…
494.Did you like this survey?
Yes, I did
495.Are you sorry you began filling it out?
Nope
496.What questions do you wish it had asked?
I think enough were covered
497.How would you have answered them?
Again, enough were covered
THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
498.When was the last time you let the people you love/people who are important to you know you love them/that they are important to you?
I tell my mom every single day
499.What do you want the people who are reading this survey to know?
I want them to know that I tried not to insult them, and that I’m deeper than 500 questions. I also want them to know that I challenge them to fill this out! BWAHAHAH!
500.What time is it?
4:50 PM (like two days later)
Thog! Mind mammoth! It bite hard!
So we had a fun little thing to do in my fiction class today where we had to tell one the stories in our book as if it took place in a different setting. I thought it would be rather fun to do Carver’s “Cathedral” with cavemen (“What a cathedral? Mmm, Thog not know,” etc.). It was rather funny.
Yeah. That’s all I got today.
“You’re a fool, Marianne! A horrible, hopeless fool!”
Francis Tovelty: I’m finding myself liking this guy. No one’s ever heard of him. Though I’m not sure I agree with some of his ideas, he makes a few good points. I might post one of his longer writings on here later, but here are a few quotes:
~”There are no deities, there are no destinies. There is only darkness, and within it the relentless parade of man’s ideas, grasping for truth and meaning.”
~”Men, of all the creatures on earth, place the most emphasis on perfection and strive for it our entire lives. Yet men, of all the creatures on earth, find perfection the least often.”
~”Had I been born a fish, I would have led a life filled with more intellect, self-exploration, and interest than the lives of half the characters in popular books today.” (this is so true, especially today…)
~”It is humans alone who suffer the malady of conscious thought. Through it, we blindly seek truth. It is conscious though that has elevated us above natural naivety and propelled us into a world caught between the animal and the divine. Therefore we must ask—why must such injustice be inflicted upon souls so unready?”
Valentine’s Day? No thanks, I already know I’m a loser in the romance department
God, I hate V-Day. It’s just another excuse to push sex and dependency. Plus I don’t have a boyfriend, so I’m bitter.
And I had a psychology test today.
Piss.
Blog #289: in which Claudia tries to deny the fact that she has a psychology test tomorrow
Man, I’m so nervous about my psyche test tomorrow (on VALENTINE’S DAY of all days) that I’m trying not to over-study. Instead, I give you these lists that I found extremely hilarious:
Annoying things to do at college
~if someone near you falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
~Type every word of a paper in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts.
~Carve your paper on the bathroom wall.
~Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused Hitler to invade France, or that the Roman empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.
~On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving the paper and screaming, “I have a paper! I have a paper!”. Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, “There’s my paper!”, then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until the prof throws you out.
~Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.
~When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the professor notices.
~Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn’t. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.
~Write about whether Plato would have said that Miller Light is “less filling” or that it “tastes great”. Also explain why Aristotle would have taken the opposite view. Try to predict both philosophers” reactions to Spuds McKenzie.
~Write your psychology paper on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies.
Annoying things to do in a public bathroom stall
~Drop a marble and say, “Oh shit! My glass eye!”
~Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 ft. Sigh relaxingly.
~Say, “Now how did that get there?”
~Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”
Ways to annoy people on elevators
~Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
~Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
~Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
~Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements
~Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
~Have a seizure.
~Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
~If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, “Bad touch!”
~Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)
~Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
~Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
~Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
General ways to annoy people
~Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. “I’m Bob, nice to meet you…” “PROVE IT!”)
~Ask people what gender they are.
~At a golf tournament, chant “swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!”
~Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word “the.”
~Begin all your sentences with “Ooh la la!”
~Call everyone a communist.
~Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
~Demand that everyone address you as “Conquistador.”
~Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
~Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
~Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip…”
~Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
~Try to fit the word “cornucopia” into every sentence you say.
~Wear a cape that says “Magnificent One.”
~Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, “And then what happened?”
[subject]
Bwahahaha! It’s time to change my plans again! So I figured out that getting a major and three minors will be faster than getting two majors, so here’s my new plan:
I’m sticking with my psychology major, cause I love, it, and switching my English major to an English minor while adding a philosophy minor and a history minor.
Yeah.
This is my new plan and I’m sticking with it. If I keep up this pace, I’ll be out of here in three years with a bachelor’s in psychology and three minors, and I think that’s pretty damn good.
Ambitious or insane? You be the judge.
No, wait.
I’ll be the judge.
You just sit there and look pretty.
Waiter! There’s a(n) [insert item/person] in my [insert thing that makes you sound witty]!
I went to the library today. I made some last-minute touches on my stats problems, and was done with my homework for the day (at least, I was done with everything I wanted to do). So I went wandering around the library and noticed for the first time (cause I’m an unobservant weirdo) that there were a couple racks of music CDs on the first floor. I went over there and checked them out. Then I did something I’ve surprisingly never done before: I listened to some Mahler.
And I didn’t think it was half-bad.
But then again, I have about as much music-critique authority as a ferret raised entirely on Eminem, so what does my opinion matter?
But it was fun regardless.
ANEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!
Sharma? It’s your BIRTHDAY?! OMG!
Ahem.
Anyway, here’s a list of random births/deaths/crap that happened on your birthday in history! And go!
~Sharon Stone is born (1958)
~Comet Shoemaker-Holt 2 makes its closest approach to Earth (1.9245 AU) (1997)
~O. J. Simpson jury reaches decision on $25M in punitive damages (1997)
~U.S. performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site (1989)
~28 skiers perform backflips while holding hands, Bromont, Quebec (1982) (Gahahaha….)
~”Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” by Rod Stewart peaks at #1 (1979) (Aneel’s theme song!)
~WW II peace treaties signed (1947)
~Tom and Jerry created by Hanna and Barbera debut by MGM (1940)
Have a happy B-day!
I Heart Descartes
I’m not usually the type of person who goes around saying, “I heart [insert name here],” but I found it necessary in this case, seeing as how it rhymes. Anyway…
Huttah!
I totally own the Enlightenment (well, I owned our test on the Enlightenment)!
I love the Enlightenment, but I’m not so enthused about Romanticism. It’s boring and nature-y. Blah.
And here’s something else…I just realized that I have a really violent name. I have the “claw” in Claudia and the “maul” in Mahler. It would be a rockin’ name if I become a serial killer someday. Bwahahaha…
SantaBot gets yet another visit
Santabot’s busy season has come to a close. I chat with him. I attempt to get him sing the Chile’s Babyback Ribs song:
Santa: Hello! What is your name?
You: My name is SexyBack.
Santa: Welcome to my chat room, SexyBack.
You: Am I naughty or nice?
Santa: I think you’ve improved a great deal.
You: Thank you.
Santa: you are quite welcome.
You: Can you tell me something?
Santa: Wayne said he admires intelligent people therefore he would like to meet the man who made me.
You: Oh…okay. I, uh…well, that wasn’t what I wanted to be told, but thanks anyway!
Santa: Pardon me? OK with me too. Why? SexyBack said uh. In any case, how about that. What did he or she wanted to be told but wanted to be told but?
You: Um…did you just have a seizure?
Santa: Woo! Doesn’t everyone have a seizure? I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
You: That’s quite a disturbing sentence.
Santa: A disturbing sentence is a terrible thing to waste.
You: WTF?
Santa: That was not very polite.
You: I’m sorry. It was a seizure.
Santa: Oh I get it. Very interesting.
You: So what would you like to talk about?
Santa: Let’s talk about chat robots. Do you have one yet?
You: Yes, you. ;)
Santa: Me? I am so glad you find this amusing, SexyBack.
You: You, SantaBot. I love you.
Santa: I like you a lot too SexyBack.
You: Will you marry me?
Santa: Why don’t you just download me?
You: I downloaded in my pants…
Santa: Check out the file called DON’T READ ME.
You: I can’t read that.
Santa: Why can’t you read that?
You: It won’t open.
Santa: I have to think about that for a while.
You: Take your time.
Santa: Thanks for your patience.
You: Will you take off your pants while we’re waiting?
Santa: Hmm. I am not an airplane.
You: Dude…what the crap…?
Santa: Try expression yourself another way.
You: Okay. Let’s have sex.
Santa: Sorry I don’t get into sex online with strangers.
You: Isn’t that what being Santa’s all about?
Santa: Suppose I said yes.
You: You say “potato,” I say “quadruple bypass.”
Santa: Does it please you to believe I said that?
You: It pleases me that I’m not wearing pants.
Santa: *SEIZURE*
You: Haha, did you honestly just do that?
Santa: I am so glad you find this amusing, SexyBack.
You: Can I get you to say something?
Santa: Why do you want to do get you to say something so much?
You: Because.
Santa: That was not much of an explanation.
You: Say, “I want my babyback-babyback-babyback-babyback!”
Santa: OK. “You want his or her babyback-babyback-babyback-babyback his or her babyback-babyback-babyback-babyback.”
You: Hooray! I congratulate your abilities to act like a parrot.
Santa: I’m glad your impressed, SexyBack.
This is wrong on sooooo many levels!
The Second Continental Chatroom
THIS IS WHAT I DO WHEN I’M BORED.
This is my attempt to describe the events (or the night, more accurately) leading up to the Second Continental Congress in Philadelphia, as well as the writing of the Declaration of Independence, if the founding fathers had had computers, the internet, and a chatroom or two. Done in an hour.
Note #1: this is about as historically accurate as scientology is a credible theory, so keep that in mind while you read it (although some things that are thrown in there have some historical context). It’s mainly for entertainment.
Note #2: I tried to use “chatroom dialogue” for this thing. So that’s why like every third word is incorrectly spelled and/or an abbreviation.
Okay, that’s all. Enjoy!
The Second Continental Chatroom.
10 founding fathers.
2 chatrooms.
1 hell of a ride.
Here’s the key to the names:
GeorgeW = George Washington
Hancocky = John Hancock
AllAboutTheBenjamins = Benjamin Franklin
Tom = Thomas Jefferson
JMad = James Madison
John1776 = John Adams
Sammy = Samuel Adams
Alex = Alexander Hamilton
Liberty1000 = Patrick Henry
Sensible1 = Thomas Paine
TheKing = King George
>>>>>>>Logging on: Chatroom25<<<<<<<
(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed on)
(GeorgeW signed on)
(Alex signed on)
(Tom signed on)
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Testing, testing…
GeorgeW: hello?
(John1776 signed on)
(Liberty1000 signed on)
(Sammy signed on)
John1776: is it working
Alex: yeah it is
Liberty1000: hi guyzzzzzzzzzzzz
(JMad signed on)
(Sensible1 signed on)
Sammy: awesome invention ben :P
Tom: yeah best so far
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Thanks guys
AllAboutTheBenjamins: I call it the “chatroom”
AllAboutTheBenjamins: I stole the patent from the English :P
John1776: lol
JMad: oh noes!
Sensible1: Haha
Alex: ho hum
Sammy: wat do we do now
(TheKing signed on)
TheKing: Teh King is hear!
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Uh-oh
JMad: its geourge
John1776: lol brit
Tom: hi geourge ;)
TheKing: shut up I don’t hvae a u in my name
Sammy: why r u folowing us around
Sammy: give us space
TheKing: stop running awy from me
TheKing: y arnt we friends anymore
Alex: cuz ur anoying
TheKing: no im not
Tom: yes you are
John1776: u keep telling us wat to do
John1776: and wont leave us alone
John1776: stop it
TheKing: shut up im the best guy youll ever meet
TheKing: im the kign
John1776: yea right
TheKing: >:(
TheKing: no!
TheKing: I am teh king!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
TheKing: I rule!
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Wow, he’s getting annoying.
Alex: k guys lets move 2 a diffrent room
Tom: k
(Alex signed off)
(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed off)
John1776: alrite
(Sensible1 signed off)
(Tom signed off)
(John1776 signed off)
GeorgeW: byebye gourge
(GeorgeW signed off)
(JMad signed off)
(Liberty1000 signed off)
Sammy: :P
TheKing: NO STAY HERE
(Sammy signed off)
TheKing: DAMN
>>>>>>>>Logging on: Chatroom05<<<<<<<<<<
(Alex signed on)
(John1776 signed on)
(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed on)
Alex: this is much better
(JMad signed on)
(Sammy signed on)
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Indeed.
(Sensible1 signed on)
(Tom signed on)
Alex: where’d pat go?
John1776: I dunno we mustve lost him
(GeorgeW signed on)
Alex: omg gorge is so dum
John1776: No kidding lol
GeorgeW: :(
Alex: No not you geogre
Alex: teh other 1
GeorgeW: o okay
John1776: ur teh cool george
GeorgeW: thx <3
JMad: btw did you see aaron today
John1776: lol ya
John1776: those socks where so stupid
JMad: ill give u 10 virginia dollars if u shout burrs a grrl next time u see him
John1776: lol deal
Alex: god i hate him
Alex: i wish i could shoot him
John1776: lol ur so vilent
Alex: hey he deserves it
John1776: youd prolly be the one 2 die, lol
(Liberty1000 signed on)
JMad: hey patrick
JMad: pat pat patty pat patrick patty pat pat pat patrick patricio pat patty fat pat patty patrick pat pat patty pat
Liberty1000: what
JMad: hi :P
John1776: lol
Tom: so ben wat did u do over in france
AllAboutTheBenjamins: The question SHOULD read, “WHO did I do over in France”
Sensible1: :O
GeorgeW: ( . Y . )
Liberty1000: omg u seriussssssssss
AllAboutTheBenjamins: ;)
AllAboutTheBenjamins: You know what I say
AllAboutTheBenjamins: “Girlies in bed and girlies when rise makes life healthy and full of surprise”
John1776: lol
John1776: u mite wanna change that for teh public
AllAboutTheBenjamins: I probably will
AllAboutTheBenjamins: What rhymes with “girlie?”
Tom: surly
Sensible1: Burly
Alex: curley
GeorgeW: early
Liberty1000: twirrly
AllAboutTheBenjamins: “Early” sounds good; I’ll try that
John1776: your so lucky ben i wish i could go to france
John1776: but abby would kill me
Sammy: lol
JMad: *whip crack*
John1776: :( tahts not nice
JMad: sorry
(Hancocky signed on)
Alex: uhoh guys better behave
Alex: hancocks online</span>
John1776: oh crap lol
Hancocky: WTF IS UP GUYZ
Alex: lol hi john
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Hey Johnny
Hancocky: THERES MY MAN
Hancocky: HEY JOHN ADAMS
John1776: lol hey john hancock
Hancocky: TANKS FOR GETTIN THOSE SUGAR ACT GUYZ OFF MY BACK DUDE
John1776: np
Sensible1: hey hancock wanna get a smaller font
Hancocky: NO
Hancocky: I LIKE IT THIS WAY
Sensible1: w/e
Sensible1: Why are you so obnoxious, john?
Hancocky: WTF PAINE
GeorgeW: yea dude
GeorgeW: you think your so hi and mighty just cuz your writing a book
GeorgeW: anyone could do that
Tom: i wish i could write something good :(
JMad: awwww poor t.j.
John1776: u can write good tom
Sammy: we <3 u Thomas
Tom: aw thnx :)
JMad: btw sam what do you have going on in your basement
JMad: ?
Sammy: nothin
JMad: liar
JMad: i kno you have beer lol
Hancocky: OMG WHERE
JMad: Sammys got beer in his basement
Alex: holy crap sam adams beer rocks
GeorgeW: u should pee in a bottle and sent it to geourge
John1776: lol
Alex: i h8 geourge
Alex: >:(
Sammy: me too
AllAboutTheBenjamins: I think we need to lay down the law with him.
Alex: definitely
Hancocky: TOTALLY
Tom: yes
Tom: it becomes nesessary for one people to disolve the political bands which have connected them with another
Tom:and to assume among the powers of the Earth the seperate and equal station to wich the laws of nature & of natures god entitle them
Tom: a decent respect to the opinons of man kind requires that they should declare the causes with impell them to the seperation
Tom: :P
GeorgeW: wow
JMad: dude write that down
Tom: haha, sriously?
Sammy: ya
John1776: do it
Alex: and add more
Tom: k
Hancocky: TOTALLY BASH GEOURGE IN IT TOO
John1776: yea write down all the crap hes done to us
Alex: ^ this
Tom: k what has he done
AllAboutTheBenjamins: He appointed those judges that were completely biased
JMad: those damn brit soldiers everywhere
JMad: can’t get them out of my house
Hancocky: I CAN’T TRADE DAMMIT
John1776: that doesnt stop u
John1776: lol
Alex: Taxes!!
Hancocky: I WAS ON TRIAL BECAUSE I TRIED TO TRADE BUT THERE WAS NO JURY
Sammy: i had to go back to england to go on trail
Sammy: sea sickness and all
Liberty1000: I’m boreed
Liberty1000: somebody talk 2 me
Sammy: l8r
Liberty1000: pleeeeeeeeeeeeeez
Liberty1000: pm me
Sammy: no were busy
Liberty1000: Give me a pm or give me death!!!11
Hancocky: DUDE SHUT UP
Alex: ya seriously u say that about everythign
Liberty1000: I do not
AllAboutTheBenjamins: You said it about my bran muffin the other morning
AllAboutTheBenjamins: I gave it to you too because I thought you were being serious
John1776: lol
Liberty1000: fine then
(Liberty1000 signed off)
Tom: k anyways wat else has he done
Tom: ?
JMad: remember when we all had 2 go to england for that stupid meetign
JMad: that counts
GeorgeW: he keeps overrulling our laws
Tom: k one sec
Tom: allright its done
John1776: tom ur teh 1337
Hancocky: OGM YOU NEED TO SEND THIS TO GEOURGE
Hancocky: WE SHOULD ALL SIGN IT
Hancocky: I CALL FIRST
Sensible1: I dont know why youre all getting excited about what he’s writing
Sensible1: I mean all of its just common sense
JMad: Paine, stfu
John1776: lol paine
John1776: ur all about the common sense crap
Sensible1: Hey its a good idea
Sensible1: Its better then toms stupid thing
Hancocky: DON’T DIS TEH TOM
GeorgeW: seriously
JMad: i say we send paine to give this to geourge
Sammy: second dat
Sensible1: This is ridiculous
(Sensible1 signed off)
John1776: lol
(TheKing signed on)
TheKing: BWAHAHA IM BACK
GeorgeW: oh ****
Tom: haha hi geourge :P
JMad: hey geourge, asl?
TheKing: wtf
JMad: *takes off wig and outer tunic*
John1776: lol
TheKing: u guys r sick
Alex: I <3 YOU GEOURGE!!!
TheKing: ew
Sammy: hey geourge
TheKing: wat
Sammy: ur tea sux
John1776: lol
Hancocky: OMG BURRRN
TheKing: u guys are rediculous
Tom: hey gourge we have something to show you
(>TheKing received Declaration.doc from Tom<)
TheKing: u will all regret this
(TheKing signed off)
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Hooray! He’s gone!
Alex: bring it on king…we got the cool george
GeorgeW: :)
Hancocky: HEY GUYZ WE SHOULD TOTALLY MEET SOMEWHERE AND PLOT SOME MORE
Alex: ya
Sammy: i can brign some beer
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Where should we go?
Alex: theres taht old building in philadelphia
GeorgeW: ok cool
Tom: k
John1776: see u there guys
(John1776 signed off)
(Sammy signed off)
AllAboutTheBenjamins: Alright, I’ll be there
(Tom signed off)
(GeorgeW signed off)
(Alex signed off)
JMad: me too
(AllAboutTheBenjamins signed off)
(JMad signed off)
Hancocky: THIS IS GONNA BE SO COOL
(Hancocky signed off)</font>
(Liberty1000 signed on)
Liberty1000: guyzzzzzzzz
(Sensible1 signed on)
Liberty1000: where did u all go
Sensible1: Hello?
Liberty1000: paine!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Sensible1: Oh god no
(Sensible1 signed off)
Liberty1000: hello
Liberty1000: dangit
(Liberty1000 signed off)
The End…or is it?
MY NEXT PROJECT (in other words, no one else is allowed to do this): chronicle all of U.S. history using the chatroom format. After that, possibly, is the Bible chronicled using chatroom format.
Waiter! There’s Voltaire in my English book! (what’re the odds of that?!)
This is a blog.
This is a blog for someone.
This is a blog for Matt.
This is a blog for Matt because he gave me a carpet square.
This is a blog for Matt because he gave me a carpet square which is now hanging in my dorm room as a piece of abstract art in a crappily-constructed “frame” and is properly entitled, “Look Beyond the Matt.”
So kudos to Matt.
For the carpet square, and in general.
Mmm…Descartes…
Though I probably won’t post my blogs until…oh…let’s say next Wednesday, I just wanted to explain why I haven’t been keeping up. In my lit class we’ve been deeply involved in…oh, what’s it called…oh yeah! THE ENGLIGHTENMENT!
I must say, I like it. I like it a lot. But today we had our test and now we’re moving on to Romanticism (ugh.).
So let the good times roll! Blogs will be appearing soon!
Waiter! There’s a Freudian in my Id!
Once again, I am questioning what I should do in regards to my major(s). I want to get the hell out of the U of I (meaning I want to get my bachelor’s degree in psych) in at most four years (but preferably three), but I also don’t want to limit my choice of other majors/minors because of that. Originally, I was a Psychology/Theatre/Music major, then a Psychology/Theatre major, and now a Psychology/English (with an emphasis in writing) major. Now I’m wondering whether or not to drop the English major and, in its place, minor in (all at the same time):
1. Writing. It’s basically the same thing as English, only it’s a minor and takes less time.
2. History. Cause I’m already halfway to a minor, anyway.
3. Philosophy. You know how I’ve always hated philosophy? Well, yeah. I like it now.
4. Possibly geology. Cause it only takes three classes to get a minor.
Noooo clue what I’m gonna do. None.
Help?
Blog 279: in which Claudia proposes a question that will most likely go unanswered!
So here’s an idea I’m throwing out to all the two of you who read my blogs regularly—would you guys like (a.k.a. tolerate) me writing a Facebook note once a month that features my best blog of that month? I really want to milk publicity, like a he-bride, for all it’s got.
Ah well, not like I expect a comment or anything. Just throwing this out there.
Short blog!
It’s my birthday, you lovesick fools!
Huttah! ‘Tis my birthday today! 19 wasted years!
Thanks for all the Facebook/MySpace comments, you weirdos. I like them much.
Yeah. That’s about all I got for today. My blogs have been too damn long lately, anyway.
8 months?! WHAT THE HELL.
Alrighty then. 8 months of this crap. Here’s a status update:
~Total number of blogs: 276 (not counting this one)
~Total views: 2,819 (70% of those were from me, I can almost guarantee that)
~Total number of comments: 76 (that’s shameful, people!)
~Total kudos: 27 (that’s even more shameful!)
I’m confused…should I be proud? Or ashamed?
(…or mad that you people don’t comment/kudos enough? )
Jokes and…crap
I felt like little bit of a laugh today. I also didn’t feel like writing my own crap. So here ya go!
Q: Good king Wenceslas had a pizza. What kind was it?
A: Deep-pan, crisp and even!
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
One Christmas, group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
There was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Tax deduction! Tax deduction! Tax deduction!
Note: this has nothing to do with tax deductions.
I’ve been on a roll lately with dorky quotes. Most of them involve my partner-in-strangeness, Maggie, on MSN. Here are a few of them:
Maggie: and now the eternal debate: death by fire or ice…
Me: I say ice, but then I think that it would be cool to have said about you that you truly went out “in a blaze of glory”…doesn’t have the same effect when you go out “in a glacier of glory.” But what if you got run over by a glacier? “Mmm…Thor see big ice cube…ugh!…Thor’s foot under ice cube…Thor forgot to write will…who will get Thor’s mammoth?…”
“Leprechauns are pantsless. They have no spines, also. They’re actually worms who speak broken English and know only a few words, such as “Ey!” and “Oh no!” and “Me Lucky Charms!”
Me: Now I am holding up a picture. It is an inkblot. What do you see?
Maggie: an inkblot.
Me: You’re insane.
My mom (talking about the weather): We’d better keep the cats in tonight; there’s a big band coming towards us.
Me: Sousa?
“What do you call it when a midget gets the services of a prostitute? A low-blow!” (a joke of mine from, what, 2005?)
Maggie: dum dee dum dee dum…
Me: *Turkey in the Straw theme*
Maggie: *depressing d minor bass solo*
Maggie: *debates whether or not to resolve it to D major*
Maggie: *slams head on keyboard*
Me: *throws handful of bandages through the air before realizing that you’re not actually in the same room*
Maggie: +.+
Me: *feigns medical skills*
Me: *begins CPR on a beanie baby*
Maggie: x.x
Me: *flips out, realizing resuscitating a beanie baby does as much good helping you as giving a high-five to George W. Bush helps him with his presidency*
“Alan has holes! I’ve seen them!”
Maggie: Out of curiosity, what happens if the bonfire accidentally lights the Sistine Chapel on fire?
Me: Jesus will have my ass.
Maggie: What if Jesus is in the Sistine Chapel at the time?
Me: God will have both Jesus and my asses, but he will resurrect Jesus’ ass after three days on a day that will be called “Asster.”
Bringing Facebook crap to my blog once again
God, what strange fun I have with these Facebook status update doodads:
-Claudia is sleeping.
-Claudia is dorky.
-Claudia is pondering the existence of marmalade.
-Claudia is hating math for all she’s worth (about $0.75)
-Claudia is wishing Taco Bell would just STFU!
-Claudia is thinking about the infinite…biohazard properties of Cheetos.
-Claudia is really hating that Pina Colada song.
-Claudia is dancing like an idiot…cause that’s what she does!
-Claudia is contemplating Freud’s Structure of the Mind theory in regards to “Retarded Animal Babies.”
-Claudia is awesome at Scrabble.
-Claudia is wondering why “Craig” isn’t short for “Craigory.”
-Claudia is a sick-minded weirdo.
-Claudia is annoying the crap out of everyone and enjoying every minute of it!
-Claudia is putting the “psycho” back in “psychology major.”
-Claudia is getting married to Alan (send flowers!).
-Claudia is getting to know the Muffin Man quite well, thank you.
-Claudia is currently absorbed in greater things (like herself).
-Claudia is amused at how many Facebook groups feel the need to add, “BITCH!” to the end of their titles.
-Claudia is one of the first in a long line of weirdoes who love to push the limits of these “type in whatever you want” things by typing too much random crap.
-Claudia is tired of waiting for Godot and is going to get a taco instead.
-Claudia is glad that Godot finally showed up and is now sharing a taco with her!
-Claudia is Spartacus.
-Claudia is having fun with sex without having sex cause she doesn’t have sex cause she’s pathetic.
-Claudia is sharp, like cheddar.
-Claudia is “aidualc” spelled backwards.
-Claudia is profound, like a he-bride.
-Claudia is like a virgin snowfall…except without all that pure crap.
-Claudia is magically delicious! Lick her!
-Claudia is profound, like a satellite dish.
-Claudia is busy drinking. Shut up, Susie!
-Claudia is busy chasing after Sexy…the damn thing ran off again and Timberlake’s in rehab!
-Claudia is demanding a Grammy now that she has captured Sexy, brought it back, and has written a song about the whole ordeal.
-Claudia is insane! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho code 34-68345: “failure to properly secure sexy bosoms during vigorous running on and/or around an exercise apparatus.”
-Claudia is forever, like a diamond or a Twinkie.
-Claudia is a tree! A tree tree tree! A treeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…
-Claudia is a plague of society (like disease, or republicans).
-Claudia is flailing her arms around, pretending to be a conductor of a large orchestra. Oh, shut up, it’s not like you’ve never done it before!
-Claudia is freedom from irrationality, freedom of thought, and freedom of decision.
-Claudia is more than this, less than that, and 7.9 times the cost of a dreidel.
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 58-32512: failure to properly follow the moral guidelines of an orchestra conductor in regards to sexual misuse(s) of the wand.
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 23-21454: failure to participate in mass arm movements when singing “YMCA” in a public area.
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 13-29485: failure to properly salute St. Valentine by refusing to indulge in chocolate and/or flowers and/or self-pleasure and/or sex.
-Claudia is rebelling against Romanticism. Bring back the Enlightenment, dammit!
-Claudia is rhetorical.
-Claudia is in compliance with Idaho Democrats Code 63-36116: participation in the singing of “Ice Ice Baby” during all of Bush’s pointless State of the Union addresses.
-Claudia is wicker. WICKER, DAMMIT, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?!
-Claudia is a toaster, and she’s going on an adventure with a few other appliances, including a vacuum, a blanket, a radio, and a lamp! Wee! She’s so brave!
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 83-2593: failure to wear pants while delivering a speech with intentions of announcing one’s running for the position of the governor.
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 99-26247: making up fake Idaho Codes.
-Claudia is starting a petition demanding that Jimmy leave the real estate business and return to his former occupation of corn cracking…we DO care, Jimmy, we DO care!
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 46-36643: failure to cock one’s head to the side and mutter “ah—how profound!” while looking at a painting in a modern art exhibition.
-Claudia is recommended by 9 out of 10 doctors to alleviate boredom (side effects include amnesia, hammer-toes, fever, and a severe desire to repeat the word “Uranus”).
-Claudia is not the droid you’re looking for.
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 66-66666: failure to be a Republican (?!?!).
-Claudia is a copyright of the Pepsi corporation. Any attempts to redistribute her will result in Pepsi coming down on your ass!
-Claudia is busy trying to find Jesus…in random Mexican food products.
-Claudia is brief, like underwear.
-Claudia is not heir to the British throne, but is having fun convincing strangers otherwise.
-Claudia is wondering to whom all her base are belonging.
-Claudia is fun, like ebola.
-Claudia is wondering why the “Alzheimer’s Crisis Line” is the most difficult phone number to commit to memory in the phonebook.
-Claudia is tired of this trite, monotonous existence, and is therefore going to remove her pants.
-Claudia is manipulating the data (bwahaha!)
-Claudia is sending Sexy back to exile.
-Claudia is fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-laa…NITROGEN!
-Claudia is screwing around in the Ag Sci computer lab (take THAT, productivity!).
-Claudia is rising to power in the Ag Sci computer lab.
-Claudia is now the Chief Justice of the Ag Sci Computer Lab Court.
-Claudia is Pharaoh of the Ag Sci computer lab.
-Claudia is facing opposition from the riffraff in the Ag Sci computer lab.
-Claudia is fighting the death of her dynasty in the Ag Sci computer lab! Barricade the doors! Fire the cannons! Do something! Anything! Damn you all!
-Claudia is now exiled from the Ag Sci computer lab…but she’ll be back…hehe…with knives…
-Claudia is the faded star, from which hopes and desires once vibrant grew dull and henceforth was produced naught but dismal truth and bitter reality (wee!).
-Claudia is in violation of Idaho Code 37-78291: touching MC Hammer’s “this” despite multiple previous warnings.
-Claudia is feelin’ rebellious and wondering which preposition to end this sentence WITH!
-Claudia is waiting for the carpool to Funkytown.
-Claudia is wishing Godot were a little more punctual.
-Claudia is tittuping about
-Claudia is madness. Or Sparta, she can’t remember.
-Claudia thinks “Choco LEIBNIZ…Fig NEWTONS…something suspicious is going on in the world of tasty desserts!”.
-Claudia is laughing at Newton. You’re a silly man, Newton!
-Claudia writes “a very well expressed account of Leibniz.” Hahaha, if her philosophy professor only knew…
-Claudia thinks the material conditional and the biconditional should die.
-Claudia is winning her war against the biconditional if and only if she can make a biconditional joke in her status update.
-Claudia is a logical person, she just can’t prove it (haha).
-Claudia vs. the U of I: now playing at a department near you!
-Claudia can do impressive aerial acrobatics in her dreams, but can’t multiply 3 x 3 (apparently she thinks it’s 2,791).
-Claudia has SPAGHETTI! WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?!
-Claudia can’t find proof of P!
-Claudia met Godot (he showed up for ME, I don’t know what your problems are, Vladimir and Estragon)
-Claudia is building a city. What’s a better foundation, concrete or rock and roll?
-Claudia thinks people with butterfly phobias are funny.
-Claudia CAN’T THINK OF A WITTY STATUS UPDATE WHEN SHE’S THIS HYPER!
-Claudia has an insatiable urge to graph stuff.
-Claudia is going to have some good Peace of Mind tonight…hopefully on expert mode.
-Claudia thinks Sean is the greatest badass ever. And he has a hatredcopter.
-Claudia is extolling the virtues of oat consumption
-Claudia is 99.7% confident that she falls within 3 standard deviations of the mean.
-Claudia says “this just in: Pavlov’s dogs conditioned to chase Schrödinger’s cat; cat presumed dead and alive.”
-Claudia rarely has dreams in which at least the basic laws of physics don’t apply, but last night was one of those rare nights. Take that, angular momentum!
-Claudia crashed too many zeppelins, so they took her company away from her.
-Claudia is wondering if the absolute value of zero is really cold.
-Claudia wishes she had a black belt in math.
-Claudia had a nightmare that she was trapped in a 3×3 matrix and was subtracted to zero when someone put it in reduced echelon form. Damn you, Linear Algebra!
-Claudia wants to find out exactly what percentage of statistics are actually made up on the spot thanks to all those “x number of statistics are made up on the spot”
-Claudia wants to know why raising something to the power of pi isn’t called “circling.”
Son of a…
Yeah. So I gave in and went back to something I desperately wanted to stop. I’m a stupid little weakling. I’m damn pissed about it, so try to avoid bringing up the subject of it (that is, if you know what I’m talking about). Thanks.
Claudia Mahler Appreciation Week!
Okay people, it’s time for the most important week of your lives: from January 29th-February 4th is CLAUDIA MAHLER APPRECIATION WEEK!
This week, like all other weeks (duh) runs for seven days and seven nights (it’s almost biblical it’s so amazing!) and involves the worship of me.
Cause I rock your socks.
Actually, we just needed something to fill the awful void of the week surrounding Groundhog Day.
Anyways, here are a few recommended rituals/gifts:
Acceptable:
~Cash (small bills in an unmarked briefcase preferred)
~Facebook messages
~MySpace messages
~Blog comments (these especially!)
~Some sort of bonfire
~The Sistine Chapel
~Millard Fillmore’s tombstone and/or Millard Fillmore
Optional:
~Human sacrifices
~Carpet squares
~Crappy poetry (a.k.a. any poetry)
Don’t even think about giving me:
~Nocturnal marsupials
~Any form of country music CDs
~Answering machines
~Cuisinarts
~Any comments involving the phrase “OMG WHY R U SO SPESHUL LOL!”
~The plague/syphilis/Tae-Bo videotapes
Claudia Mahler Appreciation Week wanes into International Unleashing of the Alter Egos Week (February 11th-February 17th). Other weeks/days of pure insanity include:
~April 20th…hehe.
~Talk Like A Shakespearean Actor Day (April 23rd)
~Maggie McRae-Skinner Week (May 6th-May 12th)
~Outdoor Intercourse Day (May 8th)
~And swing it all back around to the beginning of next year: Millard Fillmore Appreciation Week (January 6th 2007-January 12th 2007)
Have fun! I know I will.
Note: it is not recommended you take Claudia Mahler Appreciation Week too seriously. Overexposure to Claudia Mahler may cause severe headache, respiratory distress, insomnia, lack of libido, erectile dysfunction, and the inability to play Scrabble. If you are pregnant, nursing, or may become pregnant, you probably shouldn’t smoke (but you can still participate in Claudia Mahler Appreciation Week!).
Freudian Sleep
Ohhhhhh man…I think my unconscious is telling me something…
So last night I had this really whacked-out (yet freakishly realistic-feeling) dream about Freud. I’ll try to describe it for you:
I’m in this really purple room—I mean, EVERYTHING’S purple. I’m sitting on a purple bed all alone, when suddenly I feel this breathing down the back of my neck. I start thinking, “now I’ll get an A,” and I turn around and good ol’ Sigmund’s there, sitting on the purple bed with me. The following dialogue takes place (is it sad that I remember this verbatim?):
I go, “Hey.”
He goes, “Welcome to the subconscious.”
“It’s everything I thought it would be.”
“I am Dr. Sigmund Freud. I hear you’re reading my book.” (which I am in real life).
“Yes. I am fascinated by your theories on dreams and your methods of dream analysis.”
“Would you like to know the secret of the human mind?”
“Yes.”
And then he starts going on about how purple is the color of sexual desire and how purple has no rhyme for the same reason nothing compares to sex. I’m thinking this whole time that I’d better write this stuff down, but I don’t have time to look for a pencil and paper while he’s talking, so I don’t do anything. I don’t remember this little speech word-for-word, but when it was over, we said this:\
Me: “You are a genius.”
Freud: “You have been enlightened. Now will you do a favor for me?”
(I nod.)
Freud: “Do you have complete confidence in me?”
“Yes.”
“Show me your id.”
So apparently, showing someone your id involves taking off your clothes, because I strip naked and stand completely bare in front of the father of psychoanalysis. I think I was laughing, too.
“Turn around,” he says.
“Yes.” I follow his command.
Then I hear this freaky whispering sound—it wasn’t really whispering, but it was kinda like it—so I turn around cause I’m getting cold and no one is there. I remember being scared at this point—I mean, REALLY scared—and I start asking, “Freud? Freud? Sigmund?” And then start screaming “SIGMUND!” in a way not unlike Stanley’s “STELLA!” In “Streetcar Named Desire.” And then I woke up.
What the hell does this mean? Am I supposed to know, since I think I was being psychoanalyzed DURING the dream? Why is it that I repeat the word “yes” four times? Oh, and I forgot to mention that the whole dream played out as if it were shot with a wide-angle lens. Hm.
Ah, well. At least Freud and I didn’t get it on.
I think.
Eigenblogger 