Memorial Day
Our family has no military background, but I still think today is important. So here is a simple little blog.
Personal essay! Sleep! Frantic run to WalMart! All this and more inside!
Okay, I have several serious, important questions.
Question the First
Since when are people who wear size 4 pants seven feet tall?
I swear, I went to WalMart today because I needed a pair of black pants for work tomorrow (my sparkles wouldn’t suffice). I get in there and there are basically two choices of black pants: capris and more capris. So I wander around for about five minutes before finding a few pairs on a rack marked 50% off. And what sizes are there? There are fours and there are eighteens. Not optimistic about fitting into either (pants and I have long warred over my butt region), I bring them into the changing room.
To make a long story short, neither fit. Or I guess I should say, neither fit very well. The eighteens were way too big all around, and the fours fit except for the butt and except for the fact that they were about seven inches too long. What is up with that?! Now I have to hem them. Friggin’ tall people.
Question the Second
Why am I having so much trouble writing a personal essay?
I’m all about personal essay stuff. I can ramble on about myself for reams and reams. I just can’t write this one simple paper. It’s basically open-ended; we’re supposed to write 4-5 pages on a significant experience in our lives that changed the way we view life/love/friendship/nature.
I can’t write it, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because of the length. I have trouble writing short. Blah.
Question the Third (which is not a question but a statement but will still be called a question because if I break the format it’ll look dumb)
Sleeping schedule change! I’m going to be switching stuff up for the rest of the summer in terms of when I’ll be home/awake. Staying up later, waking up later. At least now I’ll be up for Chicago Hope. Holy crap, I love that show.
An Imperfect Algorithm (or, Claudia + Flash 5 + old timey music = wtf)
I swear I don’t know where this came from. I guess a recessed part of my brain was awakened by my discovery of a clip of old-timey music in the Newgrounds audio portal. I had to steal it and make my own animation. It makes no sense, it has no plot, the varying shades of gray are dull at best, but hey, it’s Saturday and I’m bored.
An improvement over the Aneel animation? Doubtful. Aneel’s infamy will live on in Flash form forever* (as soon as I get around to finishing it).
*If you would like your infamy to live on in Flash form forever, please tell me! I adore making dorky Flash animations, and I adore my friend-people. Put two and two together and what can be better?
Please note: you must provide at least one aspect of your personality and/or a part of your physical appearance and/or a hobby that I can use to make fun of you.
Please also note: I do not like being sued, so this is at your own risk.
This just in: I have a blatant hatred for boring blog titles
Yeah. One of the last days (hopefully) of boredom. So I made another quiz. Well actually, this one’s more “adapted” than made. But still…
It’s really a dinky little thing. Not much to it.
Oh, and this short little clip that makes me laugh (Quagmire = hilarious):
The quest for quarters often leads one through many couches
Hooray! So I think I’ve got a job, finally. So the only place that worked with my school schedule was Wendy’s so that is where I’ll be spending quite a lot of time for the rest of the summer. Orientation is Sunday!
…
Why are my blogs getting shorter and shorter?
Why don’t the other months get “Fests?” October’s not THAT special! Where’s my FebruaryFest?
Hey people! So I was dinking around on YouTube and the like tonight. Anybody else remember these? What strange and magnificent memories they evoked:
What’s Opera, Doc?
Duck Amuck
One Froggy Evening
Rabbit of Seville
Great lazy days of childhood, where have you gone?
Fun with Fonts II
Haha, hello again! Since I got to campus early (like at 9:30) this morning, I was bored out of my MIND. So I went to the computer lab and came up with a few more font reviews. Then, when I came home, I realized that I had none of these fonts on my own computer; thus none of them showed up. So to keep things simple, these will all be in Times New Roman standard format. If you’re really that desperate to see what they look like, I suggest going to the Ag Sci computer lab, because it was on those computers that these were found. Annnnnnnnd, go!
DotumChe
This amuses me just because of the name: DotumChe. It sounds like the sound you make after a joke, you know? “Two tom-toms and a cymbal fell off a cliff. DotumChe!” Also, when you try to spell-check it, the first suggestion that comes up is “douche.”
Font
Ah, the font perfect for people who name their dog “Dog” and their cat “Cat” and their kid “Kid” and read “Magazine” and “Newspaper” daily. This is like the American dream of fonts, only it’s not called that. It’s called “Font.”
This font sponsored by “Sponsor.”
Informal Roman
Unfortunately for all of us, there is no archeological evidence supporting the Romans’ use of computers (let alone fonts), but several stubborn “historians” have continually voiced the idea and have constructed what they dub Informal Roman, a font similar to what had existed in Rome before the Romans began putting their computers next to their particle accelerators and having their hard drives erased by the powerful electromagnets (and thus abandoning the idea of computers all together). According to these historians, this font was of particular use in the typing of plans for arches and aqueducts in Microsoft Verbum documents. When creating final formal reports, Romans used Formal Roman, the equivalent of today’s Wingdings.
SuperFrench (yes, there’s a font called “SuperFrench”)
You have the right to become a SuperFrench. Anytime you choose to become a SuperFrench can and will be a time when you are allowed to utter the phrases “oui oui!” and “sacre bleu!” and “le croissant is too hard for my delicate teeth, you infernal pastry monkey!” both inside and outside French boarders. You have the right to speak French and to have a French person present during any SuperFrench adventures in any cafés you come across. If you cannot afford a French costume, cheese will be provided for you.
Blackladder ITC
This is the type of font used back in Elizabethan times by those jokesters that went around pasting “kick thee” signs on their friends’ backs and by tattoo artists who complied with the requests of drunken frat boys who wanted “I say, I do believe that Elizabeth I is quite a looker, pipeth-pipeth!” tattooed on their chests.
Niagra Solid
Because we need more fonts that rhyme with “Viagra.”
Claudia Sweeps the Eastern Seaboard (and parts of Europe!)
I have a map on my page that marks the locations of all the people who look at my profile. Take a look at said map at the bottom of my page, will you? I mean, not right now, cause right now you’re reading my blog, but later. You’ll notice this little trend: a butt-load on the west coast, mainly centered around Moscow (duh), nothing until a neat little line that appears to travel up the Mississippi River region, tons of dots on the east coast, and about four in Europe. Then there’s one in Africa and one in Australia.
What interests me most is the patterns. Everything (save that one up in northern Canada; probably some lonely guy looking desperately for internet action) has kind of a pattern to it. It’s weird. And how did some dude in Australia find my profile? “G’day, MySpace, let’s see what crazy people we can find. Crikey! Someone from Moscow, Idaho!”
Man, I don’t know. I’m speculating about people who look at my profile. Can you tell I’m bored?
I need a hobby. I mean, besides blogging and dorking around and randomly putting on latex gloves and shouting “I am a doctor! I save lives, dammit!”
Mr. Gorbachev, first put your pants back on, then we’ll talk about the wall, okay?
Yeah. So by now, you’ve probably heard about the shootings that happened here. It’s pretty late at night when I’m typing this up, and from what I’ve heard (or not heard, I guess) everyone I know in Moscow’s okay, so if you’re not from here and are wondering, there ya go.
I feel the mood must be lightened.
Henry David Thoreau, get out of my pool!
Haha, my cat. She just noticed this picture we’ve had sitting on a shelf for over three years. She’s totally staring that kitten down!
Yeah, I have nothing else today. It’s Saturday, people, what do you want from me?!
Asterisk!
Okay. It’s Friday and I don’t have any classes today, meaning I’m even more bored than I have been. This is what came out of said boredom. Apologies to Mr. Timberlake; I hope Sexy doesn’t cause you too much trouble.
“Easy Mac” (sung to—what else?—the tune of “Sexyback”)
[Verse 1]
I’m making Easy Mac
There’s macaroni and a cheesy pack
I think it’s quite a little handy snack
But if I don’t brush it’ll give me plaque
Take ’em to the bridge
[Bridge]
Microwave
It’s so much easier
I ain’t no slave
To boil water I’m just not that brave
So this new Easy Mac is what I crave
Take ’em to the chorus
[Chorus]
Mix it up
Go ahead, and stir baby
In the cup
Go ahead, and stir baby
M-A-C
Go ahead, and stir baby
It’s for me
Go ahead, and stir baby
3:30
Go ahead, and stir baby
Look at the cheese
Go ahead, and stir baby
It makes me smile
Go ahead, and stir baby
It’s the new style
Go ahead, and stir baby
Making Easy Mac
Go ahead, and stir baby
Making Easy Mac
Go ahead, and stir baby
[Repeat 6 times]
Making Easy Mac
[Verse 2]
I’m making Easy Mac
It’s so insane I have to double back
Watch it spin ’round and then come right on back
It’s burning up I gotta get it fast!
Take ’em to the bridge
[Bridge]
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
I’m making Easy Mac
It’s so tasty I’m taken aback
I hope it doesn’t cause a bad attack
Cause if it does I will bring Sexy back
Take ’em to the chorus
[Chorus]
If a tree doesn’t fall in the forest and no one is around, does the universe suddenly implode?
Point 1: At some point I reached over 4,000 blog views. I was obviously unaware of this; I’m now up to 4,335.
Point 2: Does anyone else find this phrase freaking hilarious? I found it when I was doing research on a paper for my English class. I swear that this is how it’s written on the page:
“The digression…is an art form, a slice from the mind…showing its depth and range.”
I’d bet money they put those ellipses in there because he digressed in the middle of his sentence about digressing. That freaking made my day. Holy crap.
Point 3: God…boredom. These little “[insert name here] is” or “[insert name here] loves” are all over. So I compiled a list of them all and looked up my name for all of them. What fun!
Claudia is investigating where the phosphorus comes from (because she already discovered the mysteries of the mysterious lurking magnesium)
Claudia likes that someone sells cups to Julia (Julia’s phobia of cups has gone on for six too many years!)
Claudia dislikes the “desert” look (I’m more of a “tropical rainforest” type)
Claudia always went the extra mile on our behalf (damn straight.)
Claudia never fails to make me laugh or cry (haha, that’s usually how it is with me)
Claudia is looking for more individuals with disabilities to participate (hopefully not to create an advantage for herself)
Claudia wants to become Pamela Anderson (oh dear god no!)
Claudia needs it bad (haha, I’m dirty. )
Claudia desires experience above all else (more knowledge than experience, but hey…knowledge comes from experience, right?)
Claudia lacks the cortical (oh noes!)
Claudia eats her Cheerios with a fork (the madness continues)
Claudia hates Shirley Temple (she stole my childhood! All I could do was watch her movies! She taunted me with tap dancing!)
Claudia means Claudia (surprise, surprise!)
Claudia Can’t Think of a Blog Title: The Blog
Holy crap, I am BORED and LONELY and don’t have a single thing to do. Blah. Here’s a survey. I should also mention I’m hyped up on sugar.
1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the face of the Earth?
Well, assuming it were physically possible for a person to simply fall “off” the face of the Earth (which would also assume the earth was flat) and not just float off into space if gravity were suddenly not a factor (while screaming “why meeee? Whyyyyyyyyyy? NEEEEWWWWTTTTOONNNN!”), I would say yes. Several people.
2. How do you flush the toilet in public?
I…press the little handle?
My telekinetic powers are for home use only.
3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
The question is…do I wear a car in the seatbelt?
(Yes. I wear a seatbelt.)
[I don’t know what happened to question 4. So I’m adding my own!]
4. Please touch my butt?
Indeed.
5. Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it:
Patience would be the logical answer here. But honestly, it’s time. I hate running out of time.
6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
Resemble physically? I’ve never been told I resemble any famous people physically.
7. What is your favorite pizza topping?
Besides cheese, olives. I lika da olives.
8. Do you crack your knuckles?
Yes I do.
[Ack! No number nine either? Well, fine!]
9. If you were to be left with only one of the five senses, which one would it be?
Oh dangit, I trapped myself with my own question. Hm…probably sight. As much as I love music, I love color and the visual aspect of the world even more.
10. What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in your head?
I had that damn Hebrides song we played in band stuck in my head for about three months. That got old rather quickly, mainly because people in my other classes were telling me to shut up when I’d whistle it unknowingly.
11. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?
I can’t remember how it goes now. Honestly, I have Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” stuck in my head right now and I CAN’T GET IT OUT. I need some medical attention.
12. What are your super powers?
Covert butt groping, the ability to embody past and dead presidents, and the ability to work the name “Millard Fillmore” into almost anything.
13. Peppermint or spearmint?
Millard Fillmore (ha! See?)
14. Where are your car keys?
My what now? Oh, in my purse. But I don’t know where that is.
15. Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
Oh, whoever picks it up and dusts it off after me. Which will most likely be Maggie.
16. What’s your most annoying habit?
Probably my obsessive obsessing and worrying. Especially about time, school, and whether or not I’m making a total idiot of myself when I talk to other people. Come to think of it, I think I myself qualify as an annoying habit. You get addicted to me and then it’s like “oh damn, you can’t get rid of it!”
17. Where did you last go on vacation?
Man, I don’t remember. Oh right…Alaska. Last summer. When I got my arm caught in that film thing. Haha.
18. If you could punch one person in the nose and get away with it, who would it be???
Do they have to be living?
19. What is your best physical feature?
My toes have won awards.
20. What CD is closest to you right now?
Mozart’s Requiem.
21. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
Coldness, some form of food, and this little egg thingy that’s supposed to keep veggies fresh.
22. What superstition do you believe/practice?
I believe that it’s bad luck to partake in superstitious behavior. OH I TOTALLY JUST BLEW YOUR MIND DIDN’T I?!
23. What color are your bed sheets?
Many colors…green, blue, brown, pink, purple, and orange.
24. Would you rather be a fish or a bird?
A bird, despite the whole bird flu risk.
25. Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
I rarely talk on my cell phone ever, actually.
26. What are your favorite sayings?
“Holy crap” is uttered way too frequently by me. There are probably more, but I can’t think of them.
27. What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
I haven’t sang in the shower since I started college, mainly because I shower in the Rec Center and that would really creep people out if I started singing, “give it to me baby! UH-HUH! UH-HUH!”
28. If you could go back or forward in time, would you and where would you go?
I would go back to before the Big Bang, witness said Big Bang (if it indeed happen that way) and then come back, write a few books, and win multiple Nobel Prizes with my knowledge. Ha!
29. What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
He was the guy in “Star Wars,” right? Yeah. “Star Wars.”
30. What CD is in your stereo?
Mozart!
31. What CD will be in your stereo in a few minutes?
Is this survey trying to predict the future by assuming that I am going to change the CD in my stereo within the next—OH MY GOD I REALLY NEED TO CHANGE THE CD IN MY STEREO!
32. How many kids do you plan on having?
Having or giving birth to? Cause I can “have” like forty of ’em packed into the living room at once…hey, that would be kinda cool. Then I could crowd surf, assuming they weren’t too young/crushable.
33. If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
Oh…I’m not telling! :P
34. Would you really want to kiss someone you didn’t know, even if they are famous?
So…you’re asking if I ever get the urge to kiss a random stranger? Say, if I were walking down sixth street and some guy with bad teeth hobbled out of the coffee shop I would be all, “TAKE ME, BAD BOY!”? Um, not to my knowledge, no.
35. What do you do when no one is watching?
Man, what DON’T I do when no one is watching?
36. If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be the best for this job?
William Shatner. No question.
37. Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
Sleep is BORING! Give me the blaze, baby!
38. Have you ever started to fill out a survey on Myspace and then thought “this is stupid” and exit without sending it?
Honestly, no. I love these gems of time-wasting!
39. Coffee or tea?
Blah, neither.
40. Favorite musician(s)/bands you’ve seen in concert?
I have yet to see a band in concert. Unless you consider concert band performing in a concert hall type area. :P
[41 is missing too!]
41. Favorite body part?
Uvula!
42. Do you talk to yourself?
That’s actually what my blogs are…just my random thoughts. Other than them, yes. And there’s a whole other story that goes along with this, but I’m going to leave that out just to keep things simple.
43. Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
The Dev and I have formed our own Midnight Salsa Dance Club. $666 per person per visit.
Waiter! There’s an Intergalactic Star Cruiser in my Bran Muffin!
Hooray!
4.0!
I’m a happy camper. Now all I have to do is pull it off four more times.
Short blog. I’m bored and tired and I have school tomorrow.
“My whereabouts are none of your concern,” said the Little Star as he twinkle-twinkled
Hey people! I wrote another quiz!
Check it out: Which Punctuation Mark are You?
Twelve results! I’m insane!
Oh, and here are my others, if you’re so inclined…
What Member of “Team America” are You?
Which Founding Father are You?
Lewis and Clark: Which One are You?
What Shape are You?
Enjoy!
Günter! Fetch the dry cleaner!
It’s summer school time tomorrow! Why, you ask? Because of this:
CURRENT AMOUNT OF CREDITS: 52
CREDITS NEEDED FOR JUNIOR STATUS: 58
CREDITS TAKING DURING SUMMER: 6
I just hope my grades hold up from last semester. I’m still waiting for 3 classes…I’ll keep you all (even though none of you care) posted!
This blog = short because I’m working on stuff for tomorrow’s.
At first I was just friendly to the Environment. But now we’re dating!
I’m a firm believer that IQ scores show nothing but a person’s ability to see which colored square is out of place or what word the letters BIBRAT spell when they’re unscrambled. Nevertheless, I wanted to see the discrepancies between many of the scores of online IQ tests.
So what did I do, me being bored and me being me?
I took 10 random online IQ tests in the span of two hours or so (some were freaking long!). Needless to say, the results were less than consistent.
I shall present the results here:
N=10
Individual scores:
146
145
141
136
116
141
169
152
174
156
Lowest: 116
Highest: 174
Average: 147.6
Standard deviation: 16.6
Conclusion: according to these results, there is a 58-point range in which my IQ lies. That’s a pretty big range. However, there is a nice little range around the mid-140s where several scores seem to coagulate.
Actual conclusion: ah, who knows? It just proves that it depends on which online IQ test you take whether or not you get a higher or lower score. Plus, you have to actually trust online IQ tests, which I don’t. Ha!
Here was my selection (not in order, you cheaters!) by the way:
http://www.intelligencetest.com/
http://www.uv.es/~buso/iq/index_en.html
http://www.iqtest.dk/main.swf
http://web.tickle.com/tests/superiq/?test=superiqogt
http://simple-iq.com/
http://health.ivillage.com/mindbody/mbmemory/0,,bx64,00.html
http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/1641/iqown2.html
http://www.testcafe.com/iqtest/
http://www.testriffic.com/iq/
http://www.iqtest.com/prep.html?test=final&PHPSESSID=10dfb3d9658ba4b42c2f41c59aeb9337
(P.S. What’s up with my titles?!)
Waiter! There’s a Leper in my Ant Colony!
Why hello again! We’ve been doing this little back-and-forth for quite some time now, haven’t we (assuming this isn’t the first time you’ve read my blog)? Anyway, I’ve decided to give you all a little list of what college has really taught me. It’s short. That should tell you something right there.
What College Has Taught Me:
1. How to make normal phone calls
Sounds strange, doesn’t it? Well, it’s true. Before college I always used to have to write down everything I had to say before picking up a phone to make a call. I mean literally I would write down every word to say to every question I could think of that they would ask during a conversation (luckily I was never caught off-guard!). College, however, made me make several impromptu phone calls over the months and gradually I’ve gotten better. I only now need to write down some stuff. So if I ever call you/leave a message and my voice sounds shaky, I’m not crying (surprisingly) I’m just nervous.
2. The knee bone is connected to the brain bone
I swear, every time I hurt my knee within a relatively short time before a test (yes, this happened more than once) I did very well on said test. It’s uncanny. I’m writing a book.
3. My play-writing style is like that of Chekov crossed with Mad TV
Thank you theatre class for putting on my (crappy) play!
4. My short story-writing style is like that of Camus
Or, in my own words, “a schizophrenic on crack” (no offense to Camus—I just think that more accurately describes how I write)
5. Reading for pleasure is about as good as it gets
I knew this already; the fact that I wasn’t able to do so for nine months just confirmed it.
6. Marching band people are the best people in the world
Seriously. Matt, Maggie, Beau, all of you—you’re awesome.
7. Seven hours straight in the Ag Sci computer lab will mess with your head.
Dear god, the chairs revolted against my dictatorship! What more proof do you need?!
8. Seven hours straight of studying for four tests will result in this.
9. I have improved my time-wasting efficiency 250%!
Woo! I can now get more done while wasting time and yet still have more stuff to do the next day when I’m wasting time again!
10. To become obsessed with Millard Fillmore is to come one step closer to utter happiness
This isn’t directly related to college, but honestly, half this list is me just rambling anyway.
Things I already knew that were further affirmed by college life:
~group work sucks
~the U of I is incompetent
~incompetence sucks
~math is POINTLESS!
~I would rather gouge out my eyeballs and sell them as bouncy balls to young children on the streets than do any more math
~I would rather perform my own tonsillectomy and sell my excavated tonsils as decorative mistletoe accessories than do any more math
~I hate math (have I mentioned this?)
~band rocks
~I’m strange
Getting to know the dumpster on a personal level
Boring stuff first: I’m done with finals! Now all I have to do is wait and pray that the results are good. There.
Stuff that happens because I’m a loser: Okay. So I’m cleaning out my room, right? I have these two bags of trash that I need to take out to the dumpster. It’s about 11:00 PM, it’s dark, it’s kind of cold, and surprisingly, no one is around in the halls. So I take my keys and the two bags o’ fun and saunter out to the dumpster in a manly fashion. Not thinking specifically about what I was doing, I basically threw everything I had in my hands into the dumpster.
Including my keys and my Vandal card.
So now I’m standing out there and I’m thinking, “great. Smooth move right there.” So blatantly disregarding the “do not play in or around” stickers all over the dumpsters, I haul my butt up and into the one in which I threw my keys. It’s dark, mind you, and cold. There are several nasty-feeling (and probably nasty-smelling) trash bags in this dumpster. My keys had, of course, sunk to the bottom, along with my attached Vandal card.
I begin rooting around in said dumpster, hoping and praying that nothing thrown in there is too gross/slimy/lethal. By this point I’m probably freaking out people who are walking along the path beside the dumpster because I’m rustling around in it like a raccoon or something and probably sounding like I have rabies.
Finally, I find my keys in the corner of the dumpster, but now comes the issue of getting back out. In my search for the keys I had mashed all the trash down so that there wasn’t an easy way for me to climb to the top and get out. What do I do? I make a little Jenga-like tower out of the trash bags so that I can climb high enough to swing my legs over and jump out of the dumpster.
And I hurt myself doing so, of course.
Moral of the story: when the sales tax reaches 9%, do not by bulk toilet paper.
Oh wait, that’s tomorrow’s!
Today’s Moral of the story: take a buddy (or a brain) when going trash ditching late at night
What joy.
“Hey everyone, let’s do some mother%#*^ing drugs!”
Man, I’m bored. This has nothing to do with anything. Impending finals tomorrow.
“Segue” is a funny word
I’m bored today. I should be studying. I am not studying. Instead I am blogging. Blogging away, away I am blogging.
I looked over all my past blogs (cause they’re all copied into a 200-page Microsoft Word document) and decided to see how often I used certain words/phrases. Here are the top runners (besides those fun words like “the” and “and” and “a”):
Millard Fillmore: 77
Band: 76
Butt: 60
Pants: 53
Holy Crap: 36
Woo: 35
WTF: 22
Taco: 17
Belgium: 0
Analyze that, eh?
Waiter! There’s a Hard Rock in my Cafe!
HOLY CRAP IT’S FINALS WEEK AND AFTER THIS I’LL BE A JUNIOR!
Ahem.
Finals finished today: statistics and psychology. I think I did okay on them—but I can never be sure. I either win or I fail. No in between.
Anyways, I’m glad they’re over; they were my hard ones. Now all I have left is biology (the bad: it’s cumulative and long) and Core (the bad: it’s Core).
Ah, yes! Matt and I went to see Spiderman 3 tonight. Not too horribly bad, I’d say…they threw in a bit of existentialism there at the end and I was happy about that. Three out of five stars? Maybe? I’m no movie critic.
I’m writing rather strangely tonight. Could it perchance be the fact that summer is nearly here and I’ll still be taking classes for the next month or so?
I say yes.
Madman, I’m a Madam!
Last night Matt and I went down to The Beach to the drag show they were holding for Psycho de Mayo. Each of us went as the opposite sex and we had a lot of fun. I had no idea such crazy, wonderful people as the drag queens existed in Moscow, but they do, and I’m glad.
Here are a few things I learned:
1) There are some times when you just have to forget about impending finals (yeah, this is me saying this).
2) When sober people truly let go and allow themselves to be free, it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
3) When drunks do it it’s kinda disturbing.
4) I suck at pool.
5) Matt’s better than me at pool.
6) I suck at dancing.
7) Matt’s better than me at dancing.
8) Poles are fun.
9) Bring more dollar bills next time.
10) Apparently, some guy’s really wondering if “anybody wants to have sex tonight.”
Pics.
Madam, I’m a Madman!
Oh dear.
A conversation I had today with a soap vendor at the Ren Fair. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry (but I’m laughing as I’m typing this). Not verbatim, obviously, but pretty close, if I recall correctly:
Soap Vendor Guy: Smell this candle.
Me: No thanks, I can’t.
Guy: Can’t what?
Me: Smell.
Guy: Really?
Me: Yeah. I have anosmia.
Guy: What’s that?
Me: Um, it means I can’t smell.
Guy: You can’t smell anything?
Me: Nope.
Guy: Can you taste?
Me: Most things, yeah.
Guy: Well, how do you know?
Me: I’m sorry?
Guy: How do you know you can taste?
Me: Because I can…taste things…?
Guy: What does bread taste like?
Me: Bread, I guess…
Guy: Try smelling this one over here.
Me: (inhaling) Nope, nothing.
Guy: Seriously?
Me: Yeah.
Guy: Wow. So you really can’t smell?
Me: Nope.
Guy: Hmm.
Me: Yeah.
Guy: Here, try smelling THIS one.
I should have just faked it; I’ve been doing that a lot lately. A big deal? Nah. It’s funny sometimes, especially when I get conversations like this one going.
Oh, and here’s some enlightening material for y’all in case you’re interested:
http://www.anosmiafoundation.org/intro.shtml
http://www.anosmiafoundation.org/disability.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anosmia
Self-exploration via tacos
Boredom. Quiz time!
Eigenblogger 