Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la…NITROGEN!
Today I shall present to you a numbered list of little items that have made me laugh, because I needed a good laugh today. Commence enjoyment!
1. Suicide video gone wrong. It gets better as it goes along.
2. I have no idea why this is funny to me, but it is.
3. The Beetis!
4. You’ve gotta love “Whose Line is it Anyway?”
Yeah. You guys may not find any of them funny, but I did, so I stuck ’em up here. Have fun!
Blog number 417: in which fruit is drawn
Hello again, fine people who read these! Being bored today I decided to give another shot at drawing in Flash. So here’s a strawberry for you! Took about 15 minutes.
Claudia and the football players: a true story
Let me tell you a little story about what happened at work tonight and why we didn’t get out until 1 in the morning.
So I’m standing there in my little drive-thru station giving change to the last car in line (this is about 10:30 at night; we close at 11) when I notice a gaggle of these guys run over to the little drive-thru speaker in a car formation (four of them in a square). So I tell Garrett over the headset that we have people without a car in the drive-thru (we’re not supposed to serve walk-ups for safety reasons) and he tells me to ask them politely to leave once they get to the first window (they’re not heavy enough to trigger the weight sensor under the concrete). By this time about fifteen more of them have gathered and they’re starting to make their way over to the window.
Once they get there I open the window and basically tell them that we can’t serve them. They’re obviously intoxicated and most likely players from the football camp that let out at 10, meaning that they’re extra super obnoxious about trying to get me to let them order. They’re all, “but we’re an invisible car!” and “you served walk-ups yesterday” (we didn’t). So I say to them that we’ll be happy to serve them if they were able to get a car. Reluctantly, after about five minutes, they finally left and we thought we’d seen the last of them.
I’m shocked at how resourceful drunk football players can be.
About ten minutes later this car pulls up to the speaker surrounded, once again, by all the football players. Apparently, they either knew a guy with a car or offered to pay some random person to go through the drive-thru for them. Either way, this guy in the car starts ordering a whole bunch of stuff and I’m standing there laughing because a) the football players all sound stoned rather than drunk at this point and b) all I have to do is take their money rather than having to make all their sandwiches.
In all, their order was over $60. It was great.
But all the dishes came back to me about half an hour late, and none of the other stations were clean because of this last mad rush to the finish, so we ended up not closing until about 1:15 in the morning.
Good times.
At least I’m getting paid.
Q: What is the sound of an empty cardboard box on the highway on a breezy midnight?
A: Ca-thump! Ca-thump! Ca-thump! (what, were you expecting something profound? Give me a break, it’s the title.)
Hello there. I found this somewhere…I can’t remember where…but I thought, “what the crap, I’ll fill it out.” So here we go!
Look at the last 10 people who commented your page. If more than 1 comment, then skip them after their first comment and go on…
1. Matt
2. E’riana
3. Maggie
4. Shannyn
5. Amy
6. Jacob
7. Ashley
8. Dave
9. Aneel
10. Rob
Have you ever been in a relationship with number 3?
She’s actually one of the few MySpace friends I’m not married to.
Describe number 7 in one word.
Amazing (college and a child…must be hard to do)
What’s the best memory you have of number 1?
Psycho de Mayo. That was awesome.
How did you meet number 2?
I think she just sauntered up to me one day in English back in eighth grade or so and started introducing herself. I was all goth back then and was like, “o…kay…”. But I’m glad she did.
When was the last time you saw number 6?
A few weeks ago, actually. We hung out for a few hours.
How do you feel about number 9?
You’ve got to love Aneel. He’s so…Aneel. He makes a good Uncle Sam, too.
What was number 5’s comment about?
Her moving back to Moscow/looking for a job.
Give us an inside joke between you and number 8.
I suppose our socks could be an inside joke…his were often purple, mine were often crazy.
What don’t you like about number 4?
The fact I can’t even express her beauty through the Chinese stripper/hooker character in “The Desert.” That and we need a formal wedding ceremony. How does Jack-in-the-Box sound?
Have you met number 2’s family?
Why yes I have.
Did you comment number 3 back?
Yes I did.
Is number 10 in a relationship?
I believe so.
What song reminds you of number 1?
Ooh! Ooh! It has to be the Butt Song. You’ve gotta love the Butt Song.
What would you change about number 6?
He needs to be on Messenger more often!
Does number 10 tell you secrets? Do you keep them?
I don’t know if he’s ever told me any secrets, but I would indeed keep them.
Does number 3 make you laugh?
Yes indeed. Especially in band.
What’s the best and worst thing about number 5?
Best: can you say “sexy?” Worst: I don’t think we’re married yet.
Why yes, I AM bored! How can you tell?
Pick up a book, turn to page 5, and read the first sentence. That shall be this blog’s title!
Here we go again: further proof I have no life.
50 ODD Things About You!
1. Where’s #1 on your top 8?
Down in Boise…probably sleeping right now.
2. What is your favorite possession?
As in, something outside of my body/mind? I’m rather fond of my computer, mainly because it has all my stuff on it.
3. Do you own a gun?
Nope.
4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?
I have no exes.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
Man, I get nervous before everything.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
Eh, they’re okay occasionally.
7. What’s your favorite Christmas song?
Feliz Navidad!
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water
9. Can you do pushups?
I can do a few.
10. Is your bathroom clean?
My bathroom is immaculate.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My huge, gaudy orange earrings.
12. Do you take painkillers?
Only when I need to.
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite/same sex?
Oh god, I don’t know. I try to use wit/any form of intelligence when I talk to someone I like, but if I like them it usually comes out in fits of stupid giggling and dorky responses to their questions (Them: “so do you like going to the movies?” Me: “PURPLE!”)
14. Do you have A.D.D.?
I do not.
16. What are you doing tonight?
Gonna watch “Chicago Hope” in about half an hour, then dork around, then sleep.
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
“I dork around an awful lot.” “I wish I were a quantum physicist.” “I love my lava lamp.”
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought?
A skirt, a head of lettuce, and some Dramamine. Quite a combination.
19. Name 3 drinks you have regularly.
Water, apple juice, and milk.
20. Are you on a diet?
Not in the traditional “diet” sense, no. Just trying to be healthy.
21. Who is number one on your top 8?
Matt.
22. Current worry?
My NEXT class, my directed study. I feel I need a bit more direction or else I won’t do squat.
23. Current hate?
People who are inconsiderate jerks who talk on their cell phones while you’re trying to give them their change and direct them to the next window. Gr.
24. Favorite place to be?
Inside my head in my little fantasy world.
25. How did you bring in the New Year?
Man, I can’t remember that far back. That was half a year ago.
26. Where would you like to go?
Antarctica, baby!
27. Do you own slippers?
Nope. Not a slipper person.
28. What shirt are you wearing?
A white cami; just got back from work.
29. What is your current hairstyle?
The same as it always is…short, kind of a pixie/bowl cut mix.
30. Favorite color(s)?
Orange, lime green, hot pink.
31. Would you be a pirate?
Do you have any idea how many “booty” jokes I would be making? I would be ordered to walk the plank within my first half hour.
32. Are you gay?
Not that I’m aware of. I think I’d know by now.
33. Do you sing in the shower?
Haha, yes.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
I wasn’t really afraid anything was going to get me…I was always afraid I’d swallowed the bell on my cat’s collar (she slept on my feet and every time I moved it jingled). Welcome to the irrational fears of my childhood mind.
35. What’s in your pockets right now?
I have no pockets.
36. What are you going to do after this?
Keep dinking around on the internet.
37. Who do you want to be with right now?
Right this very second I’m rather content by myself. Give me an hour or so. I’ll be lonely.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Worst injury? Probably when I fell off the slide when I was three and got a concussion. That was a barrel of fun right there.
39. Best feeling in the world?
Succeeding.
40. Worst feeling in the world?
Failing.
41. Who is your loudest friend?
Amy’s pretty loud.
42. Who is your quietest friend?
Aneel’s rather quiet unless you bring up the word “car.”
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
Perhaps…
44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
I probably would if I’d see them occasionally.
45. What is your favorite book?
“The Caine Mutiny.” Man, I love that book.
46. What is your favorite candy?
Snickers!
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Pep band songs. Seriously. That would make my funeral day.
49. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night?
Driving home from work.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I do NOT want to exercise this morning (I didn’t either. Slacker.)
If a tree farts in the forest, do all the other trees fall over?
Wee! Today was grand fun. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun trying on clothes as I did today when we (Amy, Candida, Shannyn and I) went to Ross to try on dresses. We were all super sexy! The park rocked, as well. If any of you guys are reading this, thanks for the great time. We need to do it again!
I’ll put pics up ASAP; MySpace picture loader apparently isn’t working for Shannyn and it’s not working for me, either. Gr.
E F? Q. Indeed, I S R T W Q Ten (don’t ask what that means; I don’t know).
Ahhh…is there any greater joy than buying unusual socks?
Well, okay, I’ve discovered that there are a few things, but most things do not surpass the delight of purchasing sexy foot coverings.
You think I’m being sarcastic. I’m not.
I think I have succeeded in finding one of the most unique pairs of socks in the states.
Be afraid, be very afraid.
This is a weird blog.
Waiter! There’s a tree falling in my forest and I can’t tell if it’s making a sound!
So I’ve been working at Wendy’s for three weeks now. This is what I’ve learned:
1. Paychecks rock (I knew this already, it’s just been reaffirmed).
2. When our boss gives everyone roses, the night goes well.
3. It is possible to quote the entire movie Dodgeball in one night and have each quote be extremely relevant to the conversation at hand.
4. “Charlie the Unicorn” has infiltrated everything.
5. Latex gloves filled with water = fun times.
6. If you want to score some strange looks at WinCo, go in there at midnight and by a head of lettuce and nothing else. If you want even stranger looks, stand in front of the lettuce display for five minutes before making your selection.
7. When it’s 3 o’clock in the morning and you’re trying to play Scrabble online, it doesn’t matter what the word “orally” (pronounced “o-RALLY”) means as long as it’s a valid word (it wasn’t until the next morning that I realized what I really was spelling and that the emphasis should go on the FIRST syllable. Dork.)
8. I don’t keep a clean back area, I keep a “freakishly clean” and a “holy shit, that’s clean” back area.
9. Having your hands in warm soapy water for basically 7 hours straight really makes them nice and soft.
10. People who claim they are “crazy” are usually the most normal of the whole group. It’s the ones that never mention insanity that you have to worry about (*cough*Sean*cough*).
11. This just in: a tomato slicer SLICES stuff! Who would’ve guessed?! We all had a big joke at the expense of this one guy who was picking up the tomato slicer and the little slicer part fell out and he was all, “whoa, it slices!”
12. Sanitizer doesn’t kill a fly.
13. Neither does apathetically swatting at it with a towel.
14. Standing there saying, “hey guys, there’s a fly on the ceiling” doesn’t do much either.
15. Do not challenge a teenage boy’s masculinity by offering to kill a fly for him.
Haha, yeah. It’s fun.
The Atheist Blog (you knew it had to happen sometime)
I’m sick of Atheists getting a bad rap all the time. For me personally, I am not an Atheist because I am “evil.” That’s ridiculous. I am an Atheist simply because there is not enough rational proof that God exists. It’s just that simple. I believe God is a manmade concept thought up probably soon after human beings developed higher thought processes. I choose not to go along with this concept because I don’t see the need for it. I can be a reasonable, rational, kind, conscientious human being without the need for an ultimate reward in the form of an eternity that is better than life on earth. I don’t believe in an afterlife.
Therefore, I think we should live striving for a better life on earth rather than working for the goal of a better life in the afterlife. I don’t advocate violence, lawless behavior, nonsensical actions, or anything of the sort. I just don’t feel the necessity of a god figure in my life. Why is that so wrong? I don’t believe in the concept. That’s really all there is to it.
And yet, in most conversations I have in which religion/spirituality is brought up, I get told at least one of the following:
“Atheism is a corrupting force in society.”
Um, not really. First, I’d hardly call Atheism a “force.” If Atheism has anything to do with society, its job is to stay in the background. In fact, of all the religious/spiritual denominations and classifications, Atheism is probably one of the least intrusive. When was the last time you saw an Atheist handing out pamphlets or knocking at your door asking you if you’ve considered “converting” to Atheism?
Second, all sorts of conclusions are jumped to by implying that a lack of belief in a god is equal to corruption. You don’t need God to be good. Just look at all the law-abiding Atheists in today’s society.
“You can’t prove God doesn’t exist.”
You can’t prove He/She/They does/do. Until then, I’m sticking with what I believe.
“Okay, if God is a manmade concept, it is a necessary one in order to prevent people from doing wrong” (or, “without God there is a lack of morality.”)
Again, not so. Like I said, there are millions of Atheists in the world. I doubt the percentage of them that fall into immorality is greater than any other denomination or classification. While I believe that people do things in order to ultimately receive some sort of reward at some point, I believe that this reward can be found on earth, not in the afterlife.
“There is no definitive proof of God because He wants you to have faith that he exists.”
A god who will not reveal rational proof that it exists while requiring that people believe in it despite that is a god I don’t want a part of. If God does exist, why would He require us to prove our faith in the face of such overwhelming evidence that denounces his existence?
“Atheism is the same thing as believing in evolution.”
Not necessarily. I know many Christians who “believe” in evolution, and I know two Atheists who aren’t convinced enough by the evidence to trust the evolutionary theory. Atheism is the affirmation of the nonexistence of god(s) or the rejection of theism. Evolution is a theory. Big difference.
That’s about it. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. I’m just trying to explain things from an Atheist’s point of view.
And stop picking on Agnostics, too.
An eye for an eye leaves the optometrist unemployed
Three rather rare things happened today:
1. There were six $6.66 orders.
I’ve noticed a trend that there are significantly higher numbers of $6.66 orders on Wednesdays. And it’s not because we’re busier, because we’re not. If I were a suspicious person, I’d be freaked out.
2. Some guy got a $52 order at the drive-thru.
It’s harder than you think to do. Seriously, short of when a busload of people comes in, how often is it that a fast food place sees an order over $30?
3. The wedding couple!
A newly married couple came through the drive-thru in a limo and got some sandwiches. They ordered through the sunroof. It was awesome.
It was a fun night. And I finished the dishes in record time (for me, at least) and we were out before midnight. Of course, they weren’t waiting on me in the first place, but still…it’s an accomplishment to me…
Waiter! There’s some fuzzy logic in my dryer’s lint collector!
Another countdown survey! Some of them are in order, some of them are not. I trust you to make that call.
10 favorite things to do
1. Think/ponder/philosophize
2. Write
3. Succeed
4. Learn
5. Blog (sad, isn’t it?)
6. Read (classics, please)
7. Dink around on the internet
8. Make people think
9. Make people laugh
10. Draw/create/animate
9 things I would not want to live without
1. My mind
2. My mom (I love her much!)
3. Books
4. My computer
5. The internet
6. Music
7. Color
8. Time to be alone
9. A future to look forward to
8 best friends and why
(Like I said, I don’t really have best friends. These are the people that first came to my mind.)
1. Matt
Probably the nicest person I’ve ever met. Honestly. He’s himself, what more can I say? Plus he makes a pretty attractive female.
2. Aneel
Ah, Aneel. Where would we be without your constant oddness? Just remember our little finger snap thingy. And our wedding night.
3. Maggie
Maggie rules! She likes RAB and marching band! Woo! And she blogs a lot, too. That’s always a plus.
4. Shannyn
We’re married! She is the sarcasm MASTER! Poor Aneel, that’s all I have to say. Oh, and I sure love to make her laugh.
5. E’raina
My not-so-secret lover! E’raina’s lived through it all, man. She puts up with me making fun of her Ramen hair. And “gangrene.” Remember that?
6. Amy
I think we’re married, too. Amy is Aphrodite herself. I swear. And she lets me feel her up. Haha.
7. Paula
Paula’s awesome. I wrote that poem about her pants that one year. I’ve known her since 2nd grade. She doesn’t change.
8. Candida
What I like about Candida is the fact that she just goes along with whatever the crap I’m doing and has great fun doing it. That’s awesome. (Are we married?)
7 favorite songs and why
(I have short little explanations. I’ve noticed that the more I like a song, the harder it is for me to describe why I like it. Same for you?)
1. “Frontier Psychiatrist”—The Avalanches
Freaking insane song with a good beat. I just like it.
2. “Philosophia”—The Guggenheim Grotto
The lyrics are amazing. It’s a short, sweet, quiet, contemplative little song. I had it as my profile song for a little while. I may change it back at some point.
3. “Shake Your Booty”—KC and the Sunshine Band
Self explanatory.
4. “Call on Me”—Eric Prydz
Techno beat! I like songs with good beats to them. This is one of the better ones.
5. “Life is Beautiful”—Vega4
A very pretty song. You’ll want to sing along. Good to listen to when you’re down.
6. “Hero”—Enrique Iglesias
Ah, a song that makes me almost cry. If you want me in a lovey-dovey sentimental mood, play this.
7. “Deep Forest”—Deep Forest
Pygmies in Africa singing to a modern beat. Very, very cool. I recommend all of Deep Forest’s songs.
6 things that annoy/stress me
(Here we go again! I think I did a total blog on this once.)
1. Not understanding something/not knowing what I’m doing
2. Pseudo-“insane/crazy” people
3. Pseudo-intellectuals
4. People who don’t know how to walk in a timely and considerate manner
5. Running out of time
6. Babies crying. I cannot stand that sound.
5 ways to win my heart
(ha, this was on the last little countdown survey I did! But I’ll do it again. They’ve probably changed a bit, anyway.)
1. Genuineness. Definitely. It’s an admirable trait. I honestly couldn’t care less if you’re a nerd, a preppie, a jock, a goth, if you’re stupid, smart, loud, quiet, whatever. If you’re you, it’s good. Just be you.
2. Realize that I have had very little social interaction in my life up to this point. Because of this, I will probably seem distant, awkward, shy, or bored. I most likely will be none of these—I just don’t know what to do. Give me time to, as they say, bloom. I’ll figure it out.
3. I’m still liking smiles.
4. Let me do stuff for you! I like buying a person I care about gifts for no reason or helping them with something or doing something to just make their life easier. If you need a favor, don’t hesitate to ask.
5. Talking is always good. I’m not the best at social cues, so if there’s something on your mind or something important that needs to be said, just say it bluntly. And if things are going well, an occasional reassurance is all I need.
4 ways I show affection
1. I’ll go out and do stuff with you. I know, a no-brainer, but if you consider my rather reclusive lifestyle (hiding behind the blogs and all that) it’s a pretty big thing.
2. Number four from the one above. I’ll do stuff for you for no reason other than to help you out. If I care about you, I’ll help you, even if they’re just small little favors. Nothing in return is necessary. Simple as that.
3. Something will be created for you—a poem, song, picture, portrait, etc. Affection can be expressed very nicely through the creative arrangement of words, rhythms, and lines and colors.
4. Here we go with the tactile thing again. Holding hands and all that good stuff. The only problem is that I’m shy, so it may be subtle stuff at first.
3 memorable experiences
1. Psycho de Mayo!
2. 6th grade graduation and the summer that followed (due to the fact that I was in the hospital getting my appendix out during the actual ceremony and sitting in the house watching one movie way too many times over during the summer).
3. Camp 4 Echoes! That was fun. And the fact that I was a Girl Scout at one point in my life amuses me further.
2 facts I know right off the top of your head
(man, I am the random fact master!)
1. The sun loses 7 million tons of material every second, but all the material lost so far amounts to less than 0.01% of its total mass since it started shining.
2. The mathematic value of perfect flatness is 1. The flatness of a pancake is about .957. The flatness of Kansas as measured by a recent scientific study pegs it at .9997, thus proving that it is flatter than a pancake (thank you, TIME magazine).
1 thing I really want in life
1. Crap, one thing? Does it have to be tangible? If it doesn’t, it would be success (on my own little terms). If it does, then a Pulitzer.
This blog may contain latex. If you think that could lead to something dirty, please read on
My big adventure today: I got a tablet. You know, one of those little handy-dandy doodads that attaches to your computer on which you can draw and stuff. I tried it out, just kind of experimenting with the pen, in Flash. Apparently my unconscious thoughts come through in my doodles, because I realized after awhile that these little squiggles I was drawing looked freakishly like sperm. As I was drawing them I thought, I wonder if I should post these on my blog. Then I thought, maybe I shouldn’t, as it may offend some of my more sensitive readers.
Then: do I have sensitive readers?
And: I’ve only got three or so regular readers in the first place. Well, if my crap hasn’t offended them yet, I don’t know why it would start now.
But by the time I’d made up my mind to post it up here, I’d absentmindedly deleted everything and started making random text boxes all over the page.
So I drew this instead. It’s an abacus. Duh.
Note: this was not drawn with the aforementioned tablet. This is my real drawing skill in Flash right now, not my make-a-stick-figure-dance-about-for-50-seconds animating skills. That comes later. Apologies in advance, Matt.
For all the bells and whistles, that guy selling the bells and whistles was less than exciting.
Two things today:
1. I just hit 1,500 profile views
2. Two new surveys. Here we go!
A – Age: 19
B – Best friends: I don’t really have best friends. The few I have are precious to me, though.
C – Candy: Snickers!
D – Day or night: Day, please
E – Easiest person to talk to: Probably Aneel, mainly because he just sits there and takes in every little tidbit of crap I say/type in an IM.
F – Favorite color: Orange
G – Giver or taker: Who, me? I’d like to think I’m a giver. I like giving people I care about presents…
H – Hair Color: Black
I – Instrument: Instruments, you mean. Well, there are many. Pretty much everything but stringed instruments and the trombone. I have no idea why I never learned how to play the trombone.
J – Jewelry: Just earrings. Big, colorful, gaudy ones. That hurt people if I fling my head around too quickly.
K – Kids: Ugh, not right now.
L – Longest car ride: Probably the bus ride down to Disneyland with the band. Holy crap, that was the most fun ride ever.
M – Most missed person: Matt.
N – Number of siblings: Zero!
O – One regret: The fact that I didn’t skip a few grades in school. I wanted to and could’ve, but my parents would not allow it (due to social reasons and all that).
P- Pet peeves: People who walk too slowly, people who copy other people without even acknowledging they’re doing it, people who think they’re “crazy” but really aren’t…yeah. Top three right there.
Q – Quote: “Ever heard of Judas, the loser who cheated Jesus?” Haha, Brendan, that was your best quote ever.
R – Reason to smile: Marching band and several things associated with it.
S – Season: Summer
T – Time you woke up: 9:00
U – Unknown fact about you: Oh god, I think I’ve divulged almost every fact about me here on my blogs…let’s see…um…I’m a very tactile person. I like touch/touching/being touched. And yes, that’s both in a non-perverted and a perverted sense, Maggie.
V – Vegetable you hate: Broccoli has a very bitter taste to it; probably because I can’t smell.
W- Worst habits: I never shut up except when I’m talking one on one with someone and trying to carry on a conversation. Then I don’t know what to say, so I’m too quiet. Hmm…I have the tendency to ask random people in the room if I smell or not (due to the fact that I cannot tell), my moods swing on a dime (probably the most annoying right there), I blog too much…I can keep going if you want.
X – X-Rays: Oh, a few. Once during wom-bat when John chucked the aluminum bat at my foot, once when they thought I had pleurisy, and a few other times.
Y – Year you were born: 1988
Z – Zodiac sign: Aquarius
~
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
“What the hell…?”
2. How much cash do you have on you?
I have about $110 in cash, but I only carry around about $30.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR”?
Floor!
4. Favorite planet?
I’m partial to Uranus. No, seriously.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
Matt
7. What shirt are you wearing?
This green one that’s really comfy. I like it much.
8. Do you “label” yourself as anything?
I like to consider myself a “Claudia,” does that count?
9. Name the shoe brand you are wearing.
I’m barefoot!
10. Bright or Dark room?
Very, very bright. I like the light.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
I don’t know…I lifted this off of a website where it was lying naked and unfilled-out.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Dancing around in the living room.
14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
Don’t have the option of texting.
15. Where is your mailbox?
Um…out on the lawn in the front yard? Why, did you kidnap my beloved Boxy?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…
16. What’s a phrase that you say a lot?
“Holy crap!”
17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
My mom.
18. What is the closest object to your left foot?
My right foot. And the bottom of the table.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
None, unless you count prescriptions.
20. Are you happy with your body?
Ugh. No.
21. Favorite age you have been?
19 has been very good to me so far.
22. Your worst enemy?
I have a few that shall not be mentioned.
23. Current image on your desktop?
A colored karyotype of DNA!
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“I think it looks good” (in response to the wall my mom is painting)
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
Flying. No question. Plus, then I could easily earn a million by doing shows! Shazaam.
26. Do you like someone?
Why yes I do.
27. What was the last song you listened to?
“Elite Syncopations” by Mortalcoil.
28. If the last person you spoke to were getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet?
I would.
29. If you could punch one person in your life right now, who would it be?
Oh jeez, I dunno…get back to me in about a week for this one.
30. Who will repost this?
I’m going to say Maggie again, because we’re both crazy about surveys. Somebody prove me wrong for both of our sakes, please!
What the crap is this?
Odd, odd, odd. I found a pile of my old stuff from junior high piled in a corner of our office at home. What strange things…
1. Abort Our Butts! (Save Our Forests)
The increasing amounts of tuna fish in our rivers have been the causes of the many unnatural floods in the spring. According to a local law enforcer, the abundant supply of tuna fish has been clogging the rivers, causing, if you will, “natural dams.” Thousands and thousands of tuna fish have been seen in huge piles along the riverfronts in northern Idaho and Washington. Along with being the causes of the floods, the piles of tuna fish are also giving off dangerous amounts of toxic gas called “whatthehellisthatsmell.” Whatthehellisthatsmell is an extremely dangerous gas that can kill almost instantly. A concerned younger member of our community wrote this following strongly worded letter about the events taking place:
Dear Mayer and his Trustee Counsil-men,
My name is Phut. I like to play in the river by my howse but now you and your Trustee counsil-men have bloked it of. That rely makes me fel angry cuz when I play in the river by my howse I fel hapy. Mommy says that Mr. Mayer and his trusty counsil-men are just doing it to protekt the family. Daddy says @#&! the mayer. I agre with daddy. @#&! you!
Yers trooly,
Phut
2. Some story about a football player and his pants
“Martins, running down the field…he’s at the 40…the 35…the 20! The 10 yard line and…oh my god! He just TOOK his PANTS off! Holy crap! And as if that’s not enough…HOLY COW! He ripped his underwear off! Oh my god up in heaven, Martins made the touchdown with his pants on the 10th yard line and his underwear on the 4th! Is this a day for sports or what! Can you BELIEVE this? Martins…his pants…oh my—we need to get down to that field! Okay…okay…they got him a towel, he’s descent now… We have Dennis Hatkins in the field with Paul Martins…Dennis?”
“Thanks, Pedro. Now Paul, why the strip tease on the 10 yard line?”
“I’ll tell ya, Dennis. It’s about masculinity. All about showin’ who’s boss. Now take Michelson over there. I ain’t seen HIM rip his pants off. BAM, Dennis, I just got channel 6 another 3 million viewers, just by takin’ off my tighty whities.”
“Thank you, Paul.”
“Damn right.”
“Back to you, Pedro.”
Man, I don’t know. Don’t pay any attention to what I have to say today.
The Outfielder in the Pumpernickel
I got home relatively early tonight (“relatively early” meaning 11:45) so I was bored. I was digging through all my old crap from school and found my book from Psychology of Personality. This got me thinking, so I kind of wrote my own primitive little model of what I think personality essentially is.
Please note: I do not expect any of you to read this, so if you want to, do so at your own risk! I wrote it at about 2 in the morning; therefore, it may not be very good. And the whole five continua idea is not mine; it was the way the book was laid out. And here we go! Oh, and if it reads kind of like a research paper—then yeah. That’s how I write.
The first and primary force of the personality is the pre-formed part of the self, or the primal force. The primal force is similar to Freud’s concept of the id—it deals with the necessities of life and essentially acts as a survival force. Without it, needs such as the need to eat or the need to sleep would be ignored. Even the need of familial love comes from the primal force. We need this love factor starting at an early age in order to trust our mothers enough to allow them to fulfill needs that we as young beings cannot fulfill on our own. All of us essentially have the same primal force.
Along with the fulfillment of these “primal” needs (food, water, shelter, reproduction, etc.), the primal force, when left on its own, is responsible for the ignoring of others’ wishes (as well as exploiting and harming others) in order to get its own wishes and needs fulfilled as soon as possible. However, if one takes a closer look at this force, they can see that it is not functioning on an irrational level. In fact, quite the opposite is occurring. It is very rational for the primal force to be driven to ensure the survival of a person, especially when others are in danger of consuming needed resources. The irrationality only becomes an issue when we introduce the second force in the personality: the socio-adaptive force.
The socio-adaptive force comes into play the minute the person is introduced to a form of social interaction outside the family. Called “socio” because it is formed entirely from a societal basis and “adaptive” because it adapts a person’s existing personality to fit the needs and wants of a society, the socio-adaptive force is similar to both Freud’s ego and super ego. It essentially “regulates” and covers up the impulses and drives of the primal force. While the primal force is never entirely covered up, the socio-adaptive force allows the primal force to function in a socially acceptable way. It suppresses its urges while shaping the personality, causing it to conform to the society the person enters. The socio-adaptive force varies, sometimes greatly, from person to person and even more so from society to society.
The primal force is almost genetic; it resides in the part of the brain responsible for carrying out the signals that drive us to fulfill our basic needs. The socio-adaptive force is entirely environmentally based; it would not come into existence without social relationships and a social influence outside the family unit.
Both forces have some conscious form. We are aware of, for instance, such drives as hunger and thirst, and it is the primal force responsible for our wanting and seeking out the fulfillment of these needs. We are aware of wanting friendship and relationships, and it is the socio-adaptive force that is responsible for this conformity. Both forces also, though, have an unconscious form. Often we are unaware exactly why we feel the need to have companionship or have the more hidden feelings of putting ourselves first. We are also mostly unaware why we conform to social norms such as wearing clothing or allowing ourselves to share. On an unconscious level, our primal force urges us to have relationships in order to mate and carry on the species while still putting ourselves first so we can survive, and our socio-adaptive force pushes us to suppress these wishes and to conform to our society in order to fit in and blend with others.
The dichotomy in the personality—this split between our primal needs and their fulfillment versus our societal conforming and need to blend and work well with others—sets the stage for the discussion of the five separate continua of basic human nature and where on each continuum my theory lies. These continua help to further explain how my theory explains personality.
<–x——————————->
Free will Determinism
The first continuum involves free will versus determinism. Free will can be defined as the ability or discretion to choose while remaining unconstrained by circumstances or things such as fate. Determinism can be defined as the idea that all choices have causes, and that all choices are not choices at all but the consequences of prior situations or experiences (such as destiny or preset laws or rules).
In a way, one could say that we are determined to have free will—we must, no matter what, make a choice. In no way are we ever truly bound into one option. In a sense, we argue for our free will by knowing that we are determined to have it. The importance, though, lies in whether or not these choices are predetermined—whether or not they are decided for us by some external influence. I do not believe this is so and because of this it can be said that my personality theory lays almost entirely on the free will side of the continuum.
It can be argued that my theory advocates a more deterministic view of human nature simply because it states that we are shaped entirely by our socio-adaptive force—society’s influence—acting on our primal force, or our most basic instinctual drive to fulfill our needs. However, nowhere does my theory state that we are not able to overcome society’s influences and be able to decide on our own how we take into account what we are exposed to. We have the ability to choose how we take what we experience and form whatever we want from it.
<——————————-x–>
Nature Nurture
The essential position on the next continuum, the nature versus nurture continuum, lies again in the idea of the primal and socio-adaptive forces. A strong position on the nature side of the continuum would argue that personality is shaped entirely by genetic factors—the way we think, feel, and act is entirely determined by our DNA. A strong proponent on the far nurture side of the continuum would argue the opposite—that we are entirely shaped by our environmental and social influences and that genetics plays no part in anything. My personality theory lies far over on the nurture side.
Without the socio-adaptive force—without the influence of society and other people on our personalities—we would all be reduced to consisting of only our primal force. That would lead us, basically, to be self-centered, greedy, needs-fulfilling beings that would have no regard for those around us. Without the nurturing factor—the environment and society—we would be left only with the nature factor—the “genetic” primal force, and with only this force functioning we would act in a completely different way than we do with the socio-adaptive force in place.
Humans are first formed by nature. Without any societal influences, we remain personality-wise with the simple primal force shaping how we think and act. But because the vast majority of us live in societies in groupings of other people, we can almost set aside the nature aspect of human personality and focus more on the nurture side, which allows for a much broader and a much more diverse array of personalities to develop.
<———-x———————–>
Past experiences Present experiences
Social experiences are important throughout the lifespan of the individual in order for the socio-adaptive force to continuously adapt to the social norms of the time. However, one cannot have these present experiences without taking into account the experiences of their past, and when we are young and have yet to have the experience of many social interactions we are much more impacted by our experiences than we would be at an older age. This is why my theory leans further toward the past experiences side of the next continuum (the argument that past experiences affect a person’s current thoughts, behaviors, and feelings) than the present experiences side (which argues that past experiences are not as important as present experiences in shaping a person’s reactions).
The primal force is not affected by past or present experiences; rather, it is the socio-adaptive force that is affected and in turn changes how the primal force is expressed in the personality. When we are young, we are flooded with new social experiences and our socio-adaptive force grows and changes the personality (which had previously consisted of simply the primal force) rapidly. As we begin to grow older, these social experiences lose their novelty and, though the socio-adaptive force is still shaped and changed by them, it still retains the main structure that had been developed in childhood and early adolescence, up to approximately age fifteen, after the major event of puberty has occurred.
Present experiences must not be ignored; they help us remain consistently adapted to our social settings and environment and allow for continuous small adjustments to the personality. However, past experiences should not be overlooked as the initial forces that set the stage for the shaping of our socio-adaptive forces. An example of this phenomenon could be found in how a person adapts to their social standing later in life. If this person was exposed as a child to a socially difficult or traumatic experience, they would most likely attribute their social standing to a different reason than if they had had socially easy experiences as a child.
The adult personality, specifically the adult socio-adaptive force, is shaped and formed into its general form in the first fifteen or so years of life. While it is able to change and help us conform to the changing social atmosphere we experience throughout our lives, its basis—the way we interpret our environment—remains approximately the same.
<———x————————>
Uniqueness Universality
In regards to the uniqueness (how individually different people are from one another) and universality (how we all share similar universal traits) continuum, my personality theory leans slightly to the uniqueness side. This again relates back to the primal and socio-adaptive forces and their individual relative uniqueness or universality.
We are all initially shaped by our primal forces, and this force is essentially of the same proportions and influence in every person. The differences in personality arise almost entirely from the influences of the socio-adaptive force, which is responsible not only for how much (or how little) of the primal force is allowed to be expressed in the outward personality but also for taking into account one’s entire social and environmental experience and shaping how one will react to and perform in it.
Basically, the primal force gives us the universal part of our personality—we all have a similar primal force. However, the socio-adaptive force, which takes into account both the concealing of the primal force and also the interpretation of social acts and behaviors, is unique in all of us. No two of us are able to perceive the same situation the same way due to all of our individual social training and experience. Also, no two of us have the same “coverage” of the primal force by the socio-adaptive force. Thus, uniqueness arises.
<——x—————————>
Equilibrium Growth
In order to delve into the continuum of equilibrium versus growth, we must first define what we mean by both, seeing as how both have rather broad definitions. For the purposes of my personality theory and in order to find a reasonable position on the continuum, the concept of “equilibrium” should be defined not as a state of rest but as a state of balance. The concept of “growth” therefore should imply not balance but a process of developing and a quest for an ultimate goal. In my personality theory, it is not the goal of either the primal force or the socio-adaptive force to develop and to reach an ultimate goal; rather, both strive to maintain equilibrium, or a balance. My theory lies closer to the equilibrium side of the continuum.
The primal force does not aim for a constant fulfilling of needs but instead strives for the elimination of the need to fill them. In other words, once the needs are filled, the primal force does not continue to press us to keep providing for those needs. It waits until the needs are no longer met to continue to assert its influence. It strives for balance, not for growth.
The same idea applies to the socio-adaptive force. It is not possible for it to strive for a complete and total conforming with the social environment due to the fact that the social environment is constantly changing. Instead, it strives for a continual equilibrium, or balance with the social situation. There is no ultimate goal to reach because the goal is continuously changing. Therefore, a social equilibrium or balance is much more reasonable to attain.
The Shortstop in the Baguette (yeah, I’m running this joke into the ground)
Ugh. I’ve been having a rough time of it as of late. I don’t know why; nothing’s really changed since summer’s started. Maybe it’s a delayed reaction to the sudden shift from the last week of school to now. But I feel like crap. Thus, my blogs have been crap.
Apologies. I’ll probably be feeling fine in a day or two.
The Third Baseman in the Whole Wheat
Try this one out for size.
I could just barely hear 22,000 Hz, which is sad considering that I used to have super sensitive hearing (my body’s compensation for lack of olfaction, perhaps?).
I used to have to wear earplugs in band. I was made fun of a lot. It was sad.
But I digress…
The Pitcher in the Sourdough
Hello people! Guess what I’m doing today with some money from my first paycheck? I’m starting an Antarctica fund. That’s right, I’m saving up to get my butt down to Terra Incognita.
Haha, yeah. Just thought you’d like to know. Plus, it’s late, I’m tired, and I don’t have anything else to write about. More tomorrow. Promise.
Kudos if you got the reference of the title…or rather, what the title is making fun of.
400 blogs!
Hey people, guess what?
Today’s my 400th blog post.
Commence with the celebrating.
Oh, and here’s another blog train. Now it’s got cars!
o
o
o
____ _____ _____ _| |_
| |_| |_| |_| |____
|___ | |____ | |____| |________|
o o o o o o o O
Teehee.
No, Mark Twain, I don’t want to see “Huckleberry Finn,” now put your pants back on!
Oh dear. Having another day off, I was bored yet again. So I looked through all my blogs and added up all the blogs that consisted of/contained lists, rankings, and numbered points. There were 92 of them.
You know what that means? That means that nearly a full quarter of my blogs are lists.
How. Freaking. Sad. Is. That.
And. I. Cannot. Stop. Typing. In. One. Word. Sentences.
In other news, I also did the blog categories! Top 5 (omg another ranking lol!)
Here:
1. Blogging: 116
2. School, College, Greek: 65
3. Quiz/Survey: 32
4. Friends: 30
5. Life: 25
I need to get out more.
This is all I’ve got, people. Seriously.
Something must be done about these damned hypnotists!
http://www.9types.com/newtest/homepage.actual.html
I’m a five. I kept the ones on here that sounded most like me.
How to Get Along with Me
Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
What I Like About Being a Five
Standing back and viewing life objectively
Coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
My sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
Not being caught up in material possessions and status
What’s Hard About Being a Five
Being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
Feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
Being pressured to be with people when I don’t want to be
Watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally
Fives as Children Often
Spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
Have a few special friends rather than many
Are very bright and curious and do well in school
Have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
Watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
Are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
Precious, precious time…
Well, crap. If you’re all wondering, this is what I do with my time now and what I will probably be doing with my time M-F for most of the rest of summer.
10:00: wake up (don’t worry, the lateness is justified)
11:00-12:15-ish: rec center
1:30-3:30: English 208 (ends June 13)
5:00-12:00: work
3:00-10:00: sleep
That’s about it. And that’s why I check Facebook/MySpace/email so late at night and am really never online during the day. Ha!
Where do the quadriplegics stand?
Hey people who talk to me:
I am sincerely sorry that I haven’t returned phone calls/Facebook messages/MySpace messages/emails in the past, what, four days? Things got crazy busy very quickly…work, school, this whole issue with a friend of my mom and her sister’s mental health…lots of stuff. I’ve literally had almost no time to sit down and check stuff on the computer. So I did today. And it’s all caught up.
Please forgive me for being a crappy friend when it comes to this kind of stuff. I really try to stay in touch with people who want to stay in touch with me, and I don’t want them to think I don’t care, because I do. I don’t want to alienate you (I’m good at that). This especially goes out to Matt and Maggie.
So here’s my little public apology to you all. Forgive me?
P.S. The blogs being late still aren’t my fault. MySpace hates me and my constant blogging. Just want you to know it’s all current; it’s all written up on the day of the happenings. I just have to wait for MySpace to be cooperative before I can post it. Haha.
Machiavelli! No more bran muffins for you, young man!
I have a question for the ladies…and the guys, too, I guess, it doesn’t matter.
What’s the big deal with Johnny Depp? Am I seriously the only one who thinks he’s butt ugly? Orlando Bloom, too. There were these girls who came into the restaurant today and were all, “OMG JOHNNY DEPP IS HOT LOL I WANNA MARRY HIM AND HAVE HIS BABIES!”
Ugh. I don’t get it.
But don’t pay any attention to me; I’m writing this at 3:00 in the morning. I barely have time to blog anymore, what’s up with that?
Let’s repeat the Renaissance! I call da Vinci!
Note: this blog is actually the crap from yesterday’s fun; I didn’t want it to detract from yesterday’s Memorial Day post.
So here we go!
“Woo, first day of work today! It’s honestly not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. It’s kinda fun, in fact. I spent about 7 ½ hours there tonight (4-11:30) and it was…interesting.
Fun points:
1. There are a bunch of white chicks and dudes in the back. They all think they’re “gangsta.” It’s great.
2. We try to guess the genders of some of the more ambiguous voices in the drive-thru.
3. We laugh at people with mullets.
4. Me + pressurized water sprayer = hilarity.
5. More sexual innuendo than you can possibly imagine.
The only real downside is the headsets. They hurt.
Plus a bunch of my dorky friends stopped by; sorry I didn’t get to talk to you guys, but I was still being “trained.”
I work Tuesday night, Wednesday night, and Friday night this week (from 5-11:30). After that, who knows?”
Eigenblogger 