“Tamacun!” Subway!
Really cool thingy happened! So I have no money left on my flex dollar thingy, and I didn’t want to go get something at Bob’s, and I wanted to avoid doing my Core paper/math/English/everything else, so I walked to Subway for dinner. I brought my iPod. On the way back, I was listening to this really kick-ass Spanish song I downloaded (“Tamacun”). Due to marching band, I was walking in step to the beat. I passed this guy on a deserted sidewalk, and he was, it seemed, stepping in beat to the same music. It was really cool—I imagined this really awesome short film someone could make where two people in the same situation are passing, then a flash of light and they’re on a dance floor performing an elaborate dance, the dance ends, a flash of light again, and they’re just passing by back on the street again.
I’d make an animation of it, except I suck at flash still.
Why do these people even exist?
Because I’m a slacker, I didn’t go to Polya at all this week.
So I went today. I’m sitting on the aisle end of one of the rows of computers, and in the row across the aisle from me, there are these two stereotypical preppy chicks and one guy. He’s a relatively good looking guy—he doesn’t have the rippling abs thing going on, nor is he overweight—he’s just “average”, but a good kind of average. He is obviously into one of the girls, and she is obviously into him, because they’re freaking fondling each other’s tonsils with their tongues from the moment I got in there to the moment the guy got up to leave. After he leaves, the other girl (the one who wasn’t getting his tongue stuck down her throat) turns to her friend and says, “so I guess you and him are, like, really serious now?” And she goes, “Yeah…but it would be so much better if he weren’t so fat.”
…what??
What the flip-flying hell does that mean? She thinks the relationship would be better IF HE CHANGED PHYSICALLY? Who the hell does this chick think she is? I almost went over there and bitch-slapped the little whore into the next century. I HATE people like this. I HATE it when people criticize other people’s bodies. What the hell do they know about the people they are criticizing? Frick. This chick really pissed me off. If she can only “get serious” about him if he had rippling abs and a super tan, THEN SHE FREAKING SHOULD RETHINK HER STUPID RELATIONSHIP, because it’s obviously one based just a little too much on the physical. Anyway, I’m sure, if he remained her boyfriend, he’d lose weight in no time, seeing as how he’d have to run to buy her lattes from Starbucks or more trailer-trash hair highlighting crap from beauty stores or pregnancy test kits from Rite-Aid every three days. Dear GOD. Honestly, if the physical part is really bothering her, she should talk to him in private (if at all; personally I think she should get a clue that not every man comes directly from a flippin’ J. Crew magazine) and not talk to her preppy friends about him behind his back, cause if she’s gonna do that to him, that makes her scum and she doesn’t deserve the guy. She should just pull her low-rise, ugly, conformist jeans up over her butt crack, close her damn compact for once in her vain, look-driven life, and SHUT THE HELL UP.
GOD.
Okay.
Rant over.
Back to normal.
Eh…
So lemme give this quick little thingy for all those who read this (like three of you) who read these blog entries and who don’t already know the story (maybe one of you): I’ve been on Zoloft since 5th grade. I was off it for only a short time two summers ago (note: summer; no stress).
Yesterday I was thinking to myself, “why the hell do I need medication to go through life? I DO NOT need medication to go through life.”
So I quit. I’m not going to take them anymore. Screw it. Goodbye, dependency.
Okay, that’s about it.
OMFG ANOTHER ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!11
Number seven.
Seven freaking months of this crap.
Why haven’t I gotten MORE COMMENTS? HUH?? ANSWER ME THAT! Well, 214 number of blogs later, I’m still here. Me=no life.
Another quiz! Top 10! Lifted from a friend! I’m unstoppable!
TEN FAVORITES
01. television show: “Chicago Hope”
02. flower: PUSSYWILLOW! Is that a flower?
03. color: Orange
04. sport: Marching band!
05. mall: Erm…Palouse?
06. music: Techno!
07. food: Basque (new obsession)
08. season: Summer
09. animal: Cat
10. city: Stockholm
TEN FACTS
01. hometown: Moscow, ID
02. hair color: Black
03. hair length: Almost boy’s length short
05. eye color: Hazel
06. shoe size: 6
07. mood: Purple
08. orientation: Towards whomever is interested (honestly)
09. available? Yes
10. lefty/righty: Righty
TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
01. have you ever been in love: Maybe…
02. do you believe in love: Yes
03. why did your last relationship fail? It consisted of nothing but lighthearted stalking…
04. have you ever been heartbroken: Man…yes
05. have you ever broken someone’s heart: Don’t think so…
06. have you ever fallen for your best friend: Fallen for? No. Fallen on with the goal to hump? Yes.
07. have you ever loved someone but never told them: Yes
08. are you afraid of commitment: Probably
09. have you ever had a secret admirer: Um…not so secret when they kinda stalk you visibly, but I suppose so
10. do you believe in love at first sight: Yes
TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT
01. love or money: Humping for pocket change (a nice even mix of the two!)
02. hard liquor or beer: Neither
03. one night stand or relationship? What is humping categorized as? What if it’s repeated humping of one person?
05. television or internet: Internet
06. pepsi or coke: Neither
07. wild night out or romantic night in: Wild!
08. colored or black and white pictures: Colored
09. phone or in person: Neither
10. aim or myspace: MySpace!
TEN HAVE YOU EVERS
01. have you ever been caught sneaking out: No
02. have you ever skinny dipped: Surprisingly, no
03. have you ever done something you regret: Many times
04. have you ever bungee jumped: Unfortunately, no
05. have you ever been on a house boat: Nope
06. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: Nope
07. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt: Yes…still in pain
10. have you ever been caught by your parents doing it? Ahahaha…haha…ha…no.
TEN EMOTIONS
01. are you missing someone right now: Yes
02. are you happy: Relatively
03. are you talking to anyone right now: Myself
04. are you bored: No…I should be doing homework, actually
05. are you German: ¼ of me is
06. are you Irish: Nope
07. are you French: Nope…are these emotions?
08. are you Italian: Nope
09. are your parents still married: Nope
10. do you like someone right now: YES!
Survey time!
What Is…
Beside you: My printer
Chicken pox: “What is chicken pox?” Well, they suck…
Sore Throat: “What is sore throat?” It is bad English is what it is.
Stitches: Again, bad English!
Broken nose: Gr.
Do You…
Believe in love at first sight: Ahoy!
Long distant relationships: “Do you long distant relationships?” Nope.
Like school: I find college disappointing academically, but it’s only the first semester.
Question yourself: Oh dear god yes.
Who was the last person that called you?: Mom
Who makes you smile the most: Myself. And Claude. And Jafar.
Who knows you the best: Jafar.
Do you like filling these out: Yes. I am not ashamed.
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: Glasses!
Do you get along with your family: My mom, yes.
Final Questions:
What did you do yesterday: Humped some stuff…went to classes…the usual.
What car/truck do you wish to have: Don’t own one a’ those.
How many remote controls are in your house?: Uno
Are you double jointed? Nope
When you last showered: Yesterday
Scary or Funny Movies: Funny
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Rootbeer or Dr.Pepper: Neither
Summer or winter: Summah!
Silver or Gold: Gold is sex
Diamond or pearl: Diamond is sex
Sprite or 7up: Neither
Coffee or tea: Neither
Phone or in person: Neither again! I’m a rebel!
What fun.
I am the Master of the Research Paper!
I flippin’ rock at research papers. Flippin’ rock.
The really sad thing, though, is that I love writing them.
Ask me about smell. I know a lot about smell and its connection with sex now. 
“The Desert”
Alright you perverted little people—you asked for it, so I plan to redo “The Desert” again and make it exactly as it was in its original glory!
Well, except for one small thing—Viper’s character has been deleted! So I’ll substitute something else for him.
NOTE: I will do this eventually, meaning anytime from tomorrow till 2008. Deal with it, you’ll get it eventually!
69! 69!
Okay…something very scary is up with the Vandal Marching Band songbook:
“Lucretia Mac Evil” is song number 23.
“Tear the Pants off the Sucker” is song number 46.
These two song numbers, added, equal 69, which is the song “Come on Eileen.”
Therefore, we are led to the conclusion that if Lucretia Mac Evil were to Tear the Pants off the Sucker, someone would consequently Come on Eileen.
Either someone set this up or this is some horrible, hilarious coincidence.
Take it off! Take it all off!
I’m crying. “Why?” you ask. Because tonight was our last football game.
No more being perverted in the stands (at least until next year). But it was fun while it lasted. I even wrote a Haiku:
Sex is like the sea
You go in in intervals
But watch out for crabs.
MEGA BLOG UPDATE!
Alrighty then. This time it’s for real. ALL BLOGS FROM THIS DATE UP UNTIL JANUARY 6TH HAVE BEEN WRITTEN ON THEIR RESPECTIVE DATES.
Have fun with this when it’s done…a month’s amount of blogs, plus some! Huttah!
“And just what do you think you’re doing, young man?”
Ahoy there good people! I changed my schedule around again! ‘Tis now:
Monday, Wednesday, Friday!
1. Statistics 251: 8:30-9:20
2. Biology 201: 9:30-10:20
3. English 292 (Creative Writing: Fiction): 10:30-11:20*
4. English 258 (Lit. of Western Civilization): 11:30-12:20
5. Psychology 110 (Psych. of Personality): 12:30-1:20
6. Core 166 (Sacred Journey): 1:30-2:20
And concert band from 12:30-1:20 on TUESDAYS and THURSDAYS! HOLY CRAP!
*wait-listed still.
Put your pants back on. It’s MY turn, now!
So I’m a supertaster, apparently.
I have more tastebuds on my tongue than normal people, and therefore have a more intense response to bitter things (this is very true in my case, and this explains why I dislike like coffee, olives, and soy crap (I hate soy crap).
But I wonder…does this explain why I can taste “normally” with my lack of sense of smell? Do they kinda cancel each other out in some twisted way?
I dunno. Screw it. I dunno.
I hate soy crap.
How “ninja” am I? I’ll TELL you how “ninja” I am!
There is no hope for the world if somebody (other than myself) comes up with something like this. It’s hilarious, at least to me.
Haha…I’m gonna marry a Mr. Kuntz and name my kid “Max”.
Oh noes!
Okay…this is disturbing…
These are the 5 Aquarian presidents: William Harrison, Abraham Lincoln, William McKinley, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and Ronald Reagan. Of these five, four had assassination attempts, and of those four, two were assassinated.
The only one spared of this trend was Harrison. He did die in office, like all the other Aquarians except for Reagan, but honestly, who gives a crap about Harrison? Did he do anything? I don’t recall much about him from History. He’s almost as unheard of a president as the Capricorn Millard Fillmore (“Millard who?”).
Yes, I am bored, how could you tell?
I think it was Socrates who said, “Hello! My name is Socrates!”
It’s word coincidences time!
This is what I found:
~”Underling” is a more commonly used word than “boob”.
~”Marco” (#9054) has a long way to go to find “Polo” (#10453) (and an even longer way to go to find “polio”).
~That a “condom” is only a “conservationist” away from a “vagina”.
~”Sexy” and “Stalin” are right next to each other (I suppose, in the heat of the moment, a person may slip and shout out, “oh god, you’re so damn Stalin!”).
~It’s no coincidence that “bombastic”, “uncivilized” and “Mormon” are all in close proximity of each other (yeah, yeah, apologies to all the Mormons. You know I don’t mean anything I say).
~The devil is “easy” (#666).
~That “anus” outranks “Uranus” by quite a lot.
~”Democracy” and “cancer” are right next to each other.
And finally…
~The fact that “Claudia” is number 6681 and “boyfriend” is number 6682 disproves all possible correlations that I was attempting to make.
Mother Teresa called…she HATES you!
Naw, she doesn’t. The Pope does.
Anyway, why all of a sudden is everybody obsessed with penguins? Freakin’ everybody. Yes, they’re cute…yes, they’re loud…yes, they crap on everything…
But I think, in order to be obsessed with penguins, at least some people should be obsessed with, I dunno…global warming?! Because if global warming continues to accelerate, the penguins will be all gone. Think about that.
Okay, I’m done. Rant over.
I should win an Oscar or something
Oh man…talk about insanity…I was home alone tonight and, while I was cleaning, dug out all these old video tapes of book reports I’ve done for school over the years. They’re genius…
“Stepping on the Cracks” (fourth grade)
~4th graders can’t act worth crap.
~I am an excellent cameraman.
~”He ruined my homework!” “He ruined my pants!”
~I look basically the same.
~I had a hole in my pants the entire time.
~People with backpacks over their heads singing “oh oh it’s magic” is always entertaining. (“You always know what’s magic!”)
“Banner in the Sky” (fifth or sixth grade)
~This is supposed to be on a remote mountain in the Alps. We did it on a snowpile in a parking lot with dogs and cars making noise in the background.
~I got a lot of shots of Aaron’s butt. Quite a lot. That’s the whole movie, really.
~My camera work is genius!
“Dune” (yes, “Dune”. 7th grade. Best. Work. Ever.)
~My intro: “The setting is outside the very white sanded Dune desert cave.”
~We all go insane when we’re out in the snow for three hours.
~This whole damn thing is a blooper, really.
~Our sword fights consisted of sticks and pushing and screaming and chasing.
~Brendan writes the most brilliant script I’ve ever seen, but his interpretation of “Dune” was…uh…slightly skewed.
~”The blind man is killing me!”
~”I’m all wet! Why’d you get me all wet? I like to be dry!”
~”Ever heard of Judas, the loser who cheated Jesus? You are all like him! All of you!”
~”Me like escorting women!”
~”I don’t have a part till the all wet part”
~”Give me some of that stinkin’ coffee!”
~”It wasn’t me! I’m not even in this scene!”
~”The scene that we cut WE DIDN’T REALLY CUT!!!”
~Award-winning filming by ME!
Jeez…I was laughing the whole time through these pathetic things. Nice cheer up. I’m a happy little freak now.
Shouldn’t a kid win the spelling bee if they spell “relief” “R-O-L-A-I-D-S”? I think yes.
Shouldn’t a kid win the spelling bee if they spell “relief” “R-O-L-A-I-D-S”? I think yes.
I got a migraine today and it was bad. I couldn’t even go to the game and taunt the players with the Butt Song!
I just kinda staggered around my room till I found the bed and then died for a few hours.
Blech.
They’re…they’re Cheetos™…they’re, they’re…they’re Cheetos™…
“In heaven there are no Cheetos™,
We won’t be able to eat those.
We’ll have to resort to Fritos™,
Our friends will have eaten all our Cheetos™!”
Sing to the melody of “The Beer Song”.
Only band geek clarinets (a.k.a. Maggie and myself) will truly understand the caliber of this song.
This just in: geophagists across the globe are biting the dust!
Guess what, guess what?!?!?!?!?!?
I wrote a play.
And guess what, guess what?!?!?!?!?!?
It’s going to be produced.
I am in a state of joy only comparable to the state of joy I achieve when I’m not wearing pants in a public area.
Oh dear god, no!
I go on Facebook tonight.
I am bored.
I think, “I’ll search my last name so see if there are any other people with my last name” (obviously there are, hehe).
I notice that there are 29 groups, so I click on the little “group” tab.
What’s the first group?
“Bob Mahler Professor/Pimp”
I fell off my chair and had a heart attack. This cannot be real. But it was, and it is, and it’s scary, cause there are 12 members and 7 of them are frat boys.
I’m going to go change my last name now…
What the…?
This is one whacked out song…especially if you hear it. It’s got this nice, upbeat, Caribbean tempo:
“I wonder why nobody don’ like me?
Or is it de fact dat I’m ugly?
I wonder why nobody don’ like me?
Or is it de fact dat I’m ugly?
I leave my own-a house and go
My children don’t want me no mo’
Bad talk inside de house dey bring
And when I talk dey start to sing
“Mama, look-a boo boo,” dey shout;
Dem mama tell dem, “Shut up you mout’,
Dat is you daddy.” “Oh, no!
My daddy can’t be ugly so!”
“Shut you mout’, go away.”
“Mama look-a boo-boo dey.”
Ugh!
“Shut you mout’, go away.”
“Mama look-a boo-boo dey.”
I couldn’t even digest me supper
Due to de children’s behavior
“John!” “Yes, pa!” “Come here for a moment,
Bring de belt, you’re much too impudent.”
John says it’s James who started first
James tells the story in reverse
I drag me belt from off me waist
You should hear dem screaming all round de place
So I began to question de motha’
“Dese children ain’t got no behavior!”
So I began to question de motha’
“Dese children ain’t got no behavior!”
“Dey’re playin’ wit’ you,” my wife declare
“You should be proud of dem, my dear”
Dese children were taught too bloomin’ slack
Dat ain’t no kind of joke to crack.
Mister Harry Belafonte, I always expected more from you, young man. Especially since that “Day-O” song.
Psychology students do it for experiment credits
These are great…I’m surprised I’ve never found them before (seeing as how I’m ALWAYS on the internet):
Christmas songs for people with psychological disorders
1. SCHIZOPHRENIA – Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. MULTIPLE PERSONALITY – We Three Kings Disoriented Are.
3. DEMENTIA – I Think I’ll Be Home For Christmas.
4. NARCISSISTIC – Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me) .
5. MANIA – Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town…
6. PARANOIA – Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
7. PERSONALITY DISORDER – You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I’ll tell you why.
8. OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE – Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell….
9. BORDERLINE PERSONALITY – Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.
10. PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE – On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
Remembering…
…old cartoons.
I was watching Boomerang tonight and Two Stupid Dogs came on.
Did anyone else watch that when they were younger? The one with Noah’s Ark was on and I found it rather disturbing that I remembered most of the lines.
Who watched Eek? I loved Eek!
And Talespin. Best. Freaking. Cartoon. Ever.
I miss cartoons.
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