Claudia BORED
Therefore, a survey.
Who’s the biggest douche bag you know?
I think most of you know who he is.
Are you mad about anything?
Yes.
Are you planning on going to college?
Unless grad school doesn’t count, no.
If someone looked on your bed, what would they find?
Oh, THAT’S where the floor went!
What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
Why can’t I fall asleep?
Ready for winter to come?
Bah.
If you were given $1,000,000 what would you do?
Go to Antarctica. Go to France and marry Leibniz (possibly using what’s left of my money to convince the authorities to let me do this)
Who was the last person you have a missed call from?
No idea.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
Yup. Already did that.
Who was your last text from?
Texting is dumb.
Do you think the last person you kissed is a slut?
Hahahahaha.
Is there a meaning behind your myspace song?
It’s only the BEST DAMN SONG IN THE GALAXY.
Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
I don’t have any pants on.
What did you last listen to?
Lights and Music – Cut Copy.
Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
Nope.
When was the last time you talked to your number 1?
Nick? Awhile ago, actually.
What time did you get up this morning and why?
Haha, like 11 AM. But that’s because I woke up at five because of a really bad nightmare and didn’t fall back asleep until eight.
Do you wear flip-flops during the winter?
That’s dumb.
Do you love where you live?
Meh. Kind of indifferent at the moment. At least it’s not Moscow.
How fast do you get over things?
Depends on what it is.
Can you say you honestly don’t have any feelings for the last person that you kissed?
Haha, you kidding? The man’s a sex pot.
Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny?
Probably.
Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
Nope.
Do you think things will change in the next few months?
God I hope so.
Are any of your texts in your inbox locked and why?
I repeat, texting is dumb.
What are your plans for Monday?
Go to campus, find a copy of SPSS, find out where my classes will be…probably play Fallout and make spaghetti. And see if I can find the campus gym.
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Doubtful.
Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone?
Nope.
Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?
Yeah. But they were the only ones with a car.
When you meet someone you like, do you fall in love fast?
Eh.
What type of day are you having?
My head hurts. My neck hurts. My eyes hurt. But this has become the standard.
Is the person you last texted single?
Texting is DUMB.
What does your phone do when it receives a new text message?
DUMB.
(I think it makes a blingy sound)
Was last night terrible?
Yes, actually.
Do you like meeting new people?
Pah.
Are you currently texting?
WHAT IS UP WITH THIS SURVEY
What was the last thing you drank?
Water.
Are your friends just like you?
I probably wouldn’t be friends with people just like me.
How are you feeling right now?
In pain. Bored out of my mind.
Next time you will kiss someone?
That’s an excellent question.
Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
Nah.
Where did you sleep last night?
In my bed.
What’s the closest black thing to you?
My headphones.
What kind of shirt are you wearing?
Tank top.
What’s your current problem?
Boredom!
Do you believe in this saying: What goes around comes around?
Sorta. Karma’s a bitch.
Do you drink coffee?
Nope.
Have you ever fallen off the bed in your sleep?
Once or twice. And the other day I slammed myself into the wall trying to turn off the alarm. ALARM CLOCK ALWAYS ON THE RIGHT, DAMMIT!
Are you happy with your life right now?
*makes farting noises with mouth*
Have you told anyone you miss them lately?
Yup.
What is your current annoyance?
No classes! AGH!
LSD!
Possibly fake…but awesome nonetheless. This motivates me to find my sketchpad. And some LSD.
Best parts:
“Patient tries to climb into activity box, and is generally agitated – responds slowly to the suggestion he might like to draw some more.”
“Upon completing the drawing the patient starts laughing, then becomes startled by something on the floor.” (This sounds like some of my friends drunk)
The Best Part of Fallout 3 (so far)
So I was having a really crappy day today so instead of being useful I decided to play Fallout for a few hours.
I was on the “Stealing Independence” quest, which meant that I had to go into the ruined National Archives and retrieve the Declaration of Independence for Abraham Washington (a guy in Rivet City) so he could add it to his history collection.
So after killing about 30 Super Mutants I finally get to this room in which I find a Protectron wearing a powdered wig. This alone had me laughing for like ten minutes:
This robot claims that he is Button Gwinnett, the second signer of the Declaration, and that it is his sworn duty to protect the document with his life, even if that means fighting me to the death. My dialogue options included:
– Killing him (more of an action than a dialogue, but still…)
– Finding some ink to forge a copy of the Declaration, proving that I’m not one of the “red coats”
– “I’m Thomas Jefferson and I’ve returned to liberate the Declaration!”
Luckily, I have a high Speech score so was successful in convincing him that I was good old Thomas (after just sitting there and laughing for another ten minutes). He relinquished access to the document without much trouble and, since I told him he deserved a rest, just sat there while I also took the Magna Carta.
And the last thing he says to me is: “Do give my regards to Sally.”
This freaking made my day.
Oh, and I also have Button’s wig now.
My pants! My pants! My pants are on fire!
Will you be single over summer?
It’s summer, I’m single, think what you will.
Who was the last person you spoke on the phone for over an hour?
Man, I have no idea.
Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
Who knows?
Is there someone you want to keep in your life?
Very much so, yes.
Is your room ever clean?
Usually.
How late did you stay up last night?
3 to 4 AM.
Would you rather have long or short hair?
Long.
Are you an aunt or uncle?
Nope.
Is your heart broken right now?
Nah.
What were you doing at 8 this morning?
I was on the bus!
What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
Nothing really.
Are you a heavy sleeper?
I used to be. Then I had to work at night and be able to wake up at the slightest noise.
Have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend?
Probably…I can’t remember.
Have you held hands with anyone in the past 36 hours?
No. I don’t know anyone up here.
Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
Hahahaha orgy couch.
Yes.
It was grand.
Will your next kiss be a mistake?
I certainly hope not.
Do you trust all of your friends?
Peh.
Is there someone you want to fight?
Hahaha.
Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
It sucks, but yes.
Do you think you’ll be married in five years?
All I want five years from now is my PhD.
Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you?
Yes?
Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
Who knows?
Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Nope.
What was the last thing you bought?
Textbooks?
Would you ever get a tattoo?
Hell yes!
Do you think you can love someone without trusting them?
Nope. But you can pretend.
Are you shy?
Very.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Depends.
What are you looking forward to in the next 4 days?
Absolutely nothing.
Anyone of the opposite sex been on your mind lately?
Same person as usual.
Are you an emotional person?
I try not to be.
Is there someone who makes you happy every time you speak with them?
Hahaha, Sean.
Have you kissed anyone in ’09 that actually meant something?
YES.
Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be?
Probably.
Have you done anything you regret in 2009 so far?
Not especially, no.
Are you a forgiving person?
Very forgiving.
Do you have any plans for today?
Bah. Probably go to campus.
Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Again, bah.
Who was the last person you took a picture with?
My mom?
Did you kiss or hug anyone yesterday?
No. I’m all alone up here.
Where did you sleep last night?
My bed?
Does any part of your body hurt right now?
My neck and shoulders.
Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house?
Nope.
Do you do your own laundry?
Of course.
Are you talkative?
Depends. Are we talking about Leibniz or statistics? Then yes.
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
Hmm…no.
When was the last time you talked to the person you last kissed?
Over MSN a few nights ago.
Your favorite thing to drink on a hot summer day?
Cold water.
What do you think your number three is doing right now?
Maggie? Probably being awesome.
Do you like coffee?
Only real coffee. From the hills. Of Columbia.
Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
James Joyce. But I don’t personally know him, obviously.
What is your favorite thing to spend money on?
Books. Clothes. Colorful stuff.
Do you wear any jewelry?
The necklace Aaron gave me. Earrings, on occasion.
Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
Hahaha, Walmart, I think.
Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
Yes.
Who do you have texts in your inbox from?
No one.
Is there anything you’re craving right now?
Nah.
Do you like to cuddle?
Hell yes.
What’s on your mind right now?
School.
Where the flip-flying hell is Pinball?!
What’s this crap?
I was bored this afternoon and tired of messing with my far-less-than-adequate internet connection, so I thought to myself “I’ll just watch some Futurama and play some good old-fashioned Windows pinball.”
Yeah, turns out that’s not happening. Apparently, PINBALL ISN’T ON VISTA. What FREAKING GENIUS thought that crap up? “Here’s Vista, which kinda sucks on its own. Let’s remove the ONE GAME that was consistently fun, consistently operational, and consistently time wasting. Hooray for Microsoft!”
So at the moment my pinball total is asscockshitrapeFUCK and I’m pissed about it.
At a loss for words?
Yeah. I was, too.
How I missed “by,” “or,” and “will” is beyond me. And I could have sworn I typed “him,” but I guess not.
Fun, though.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN SURVEYS?
Stolen from Maggie, as are many of my surveys. “Yes” or “no” answers only.
1. Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? — Yes
2. Been arrested? — No
3. Kissed someone you didn’t like? — Yes
4. Slept in until 5 PM? — No
5. Fallen asleep at work/school? — No
6. Held a snake? — Yes
7. Ran a red light? — Yes
8. Been suspended from school? — No
9. Experienced love at first sight? — No
10. Totaled your car in an accident? — No
11. Been fired from a job? — No
12. Fired somebody? — No
13. Sang karaoke? — Yes
14. Pointed a gun at someone? — No
15. Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? — Yes
16. Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? — Yes
17. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — Yes
18. Kissed in the rain? — Yes
19. Had a close brush with death (your own)? — Yes
20. Seen someone die? — Yes
21. Played spin-the-bottle? — No
22. Sang in the shower? — Yes
23. Smoked a cigar? — No
24. Sat on a rooftop? — Yes
25. Taken pictures of yourself naked? — No
26. Smuggled something into another country? — No
27. Been pushed into a pool wearing all your clothes? — No
28. Broken a bone? — No
29. Skipped school? — No
30. Eaten a bug? — No
31. Sleepwalked? — No
32. Walked a moonlit beach? — Yes
33. Rode a motorcycle? — No
34. Dumped someone? — Yes
35. Forgotten your anniversary? — No
36. Lied to avoid a ticket? — No
37. Ridden on a helicopter? — No
38. Shaved your head? — No
39. Blacked out from drinking? — No
40. Played a prank on someone? — Yes
41. Hit a home run? — Yes
42. Felt like killing someone? — No
43. Cross-dressed? — Yes
44. Been falling-down drunk? — No
45. Made your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/spouse cry? — Yes
46. Eaten snake? — No
47. Marched/Protested? — No
48. Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — No
49. Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — No
50. Been in a band? — Yes
51. Knitted? — No
52. Been on TV? — No
53. Shot a gun? — Yes
54. Skinny-dipped? — No
55. Gave someone stitches? — No
56. Eaten a whole habenero pepper? — No
57. Ridden a surfboard? — No
58. Drank straight from a liquor bottle? — No
59. Had surgery? — Yes
60. Streaked? — Yes
61. Taken by ambulance to hospital? — No
62. Passed out when not drinking? — Yes
63. Peed on a bush? — No
64. Donated Blood? — No
65. Grabbed electric fence? — No
66. Eaten alligator meat? — No
67. Eaten cheesecake? — Yes
68. Eaten your kids’ Halloween candy? — No
69. Killed an animal when not hunting? — Yes
70. Peed your pants in public? — No
71. Snuck into a movie without paying? — No
72. Written graffiti? — No
73. Still loved someone you shouldn’t? — Yes
74. Think about the future? — Yes
75. Been in handcuffs? — No
76. Believe in love? — Yes
Ergh.
I don’t know what’s up with me these past few days. I don’t want to ride the bus. I don’t want to leave the house. I don’t want to stay inside, either. There are a zillion spiders trying to break in here. It’s dark. It’s cloudy. I itch. Every night I’ve been here I’ve had a nightmare. I just want to curl up in a little ball and die there.
This feeling is obnoxious and I hope it goes away soon.
I should be stopped.
Oh-ho-ho, so every webcomic’s jumping on this apparent bandwagon, are they? Allow me to provide my OWN input!
Want to waste some time?
Here is a PERFECT FREAKING OULET.
I don’t know about this place…
You can hardly see the stars here.
WLAJF
I’ve had this feeling every once and awhile, on those (very rare) days when things just come together and work out.
Until we meet again, USA…
So today my mom and I drove up to Vancouver to move my crap into my new apartment. I almost made my playlist EXACTLY as long as it needed to be…if we hadn’t gotten stuck in a traffic jam, it would have ended perfectly.
Oh well.
Pictures to come soon.
Edit: right here!
I’m going to miss all you weirdos
Aww, I’m going to miss all you strange and silly people I’ve acquired as friends. Particularly you band geeks and you former roommates. Especially those of you who stripped with me…which is a surprisingly large amount of you.
I’ll see y’all at the end of October, then again sometime in December/January. We should all hang at my dad’s during Christmas break. Pizza and other randomness.
You Cannot Kill Strawberry Clock
Happy Clock Day!
ALSO THIS, for anyone who’s interested.
(half year later edit: a good place to check out the basics of Kant, Matt!)
ALSO ALSO THIS: yay for seeing old roomies again.
DAVID BOWIE’S CROTCH
GOD this is the most I’ve laughed in awhile (last time was when Sean was playing Viva Piñata. I’ve never seen him as stressed out as when he’s playing that game). We totally should have recorded the David Bowie’s Crotch song(s) and made and album. And the whole screeching into the mic for overdrive was too much. Loved it. I can’t believe my dad didn’t hear a decibel of that.
Any of you high school friends remember this?
So I’ve been cleaning out all my crap since I’m moving away on…um…Sunday…
Any of you guys remember that time I took the deck of cards at lunch and started making a whole bunch of crazy stories about each of the cards? I found the paper on which I wrote the flowchart of the whole story. There were like four cards named Dick, and there was Octoball, Alan, Jacob, Spermius, Aneel, myself, a bunch of midgets, Thousand Pound Theo, Dr. Semen…
Is this ringing a bell for anyone? I was laughing for like three hours reading this. I have Istanbul drawn on the left side of the paper, Fort Cocks is on the opposite corner, like every card got an STD, the Dickless Support Group’s in the middle of the page…
This was freaking epic. Almost as good as the pornographic reading of To Kill A Mockingbird.
Oh wow, a blog
Sorry, I’m kinda bored here.
I don’t know why I never put this up here before
Hello to everyone yet again. Since I’m incredibly bored and since I finished a lot of books over the summer (at work, haha), I’ve decided to provide you all with the book list I’ve been working through. Books in red are one’s I’ve read (makes sense, doesn’t it?). Asterisks denote books I would recommend HIGHLY.
(Edit: this list is now located under the “200 Books” tab up above. Click that instead!)
“He’s stealing your cups because he has werewolf instinct”
Hahahaha what the hell.
As I was transferring all my crap from Vaio onto Vaio II, I came upon this little bit of writing I did in 5th grade. Our job was to pick a well-known fable and modify it as much as we could while keeping the general idea. My idea was to mess with “The Boy Who Cried Wolf,” but as you can see, I got a little…um…carried away with other stuff.
Dear Davis Love III,
This letter was just written to you from a remote nuclear power plant in Russia. At this moment now, some crazy English sheep, who seem to be drunk on herbal tea, are crying out my name (which, by the way, is Vladimir Rimidalv) and beckoning me to join them for their afternoon tea. If you ask me, they’ve been obsessed with this ‘tea’ thing ever since Dimitri (their owner) took away their cigarettes. Dimitri had worked at the plant all his life except for the three years he spent on the Russian Space Station. Of course, he gave me the most formal greeting a guy with a half-liquefied brain could: “Welcome to the Russian Space Station.” Then he broke out into a round of the Russian National Anthem. If you could have heard his rancid voice and seen his crazy gestures, you’d know what I mean when I say he should’ve stayed in space where he belonged. Anyway, as you can tell, it is chaos up here. I‘d like to know more about Roswell, NM, and, by the way, weren’t you a famous golfer at one point? Sincerely, Vladimir Rimidalv.
Dear Vladimir Rimidalv,
I think your living by a remote power plant is really interesting. Have you ever thought about opening a soup kitchen there? I bet you would get lots of money. Hey, why don’t you sell herbal tea to those annoying sheep? When you write about Dimitri, it began to worry me. Do you know about werewolves? I’ve been doing some research on them, and I’m pretty sure he is one. Here are some things to look for: séances every full moon, extra hair, and dangerous-looking teeth. Roswell, NM is really sort of like your place. I would send you one of my school pictures, but they got burned up one day when I was walking home from school (they accidentally set off a nuke!). Watch for the signs.
Sincerely, D.L.3.
Dear Davis Love III,
I opened that soup kitchen you suggested, and my business is not that great. I’m selling more than soup, too. Cappuccino is the only type of thing that gets me money; the groups of sheep come at least three times a day. I’ve learned a lot about them in a week. The leader, who buys all the tea, is named Keith. He’s not the smartest though…Roberto is. He’s the one who invented the coffee filter. The most proper is Marvin. He’s always telling me how to pour the tea. I’ve been watching Dimitri. I’ve purposely been making key chains that say: “Welcome to the Russian Space Station” just to get him over to my shop and get a closer look at him. And I’m afraid to report that I think he really is turning into a werewolf! He’s growing more hair on face and his teeth are turning silver. Also, he’s stealing my cups. What’s up with that??
Vladimir Rimidalv.
Dear Mr. Rimidalv,
An answer to your question: he’s stealing your cups because he has werewolf instinct. They can’t stay away from Styrofoam. Anyway, keep the cups away from him. They encourage the developing werewolf.
Sincerely, DL3.
Dear Davis,
You won’t believe what happened! It was all the boy’s fault! And the sheep’s! And yours! Anyway, I was selling tea to the sheep, just like normal, and having a nice conversation with Marvin, when the boy came up, looking more like a werewolf than ever, and snatched up about 2/3 of my cups! So naturally, I started screaming “Boy! Boy!” I grabbed the burning hot coffee from Marvin’s paws and dumped it on Dimitri. Of course, the sheep began to freak out. They were all galloping all over the place until Marvin, who had uncurled from his hiding position, said, “Hey! That’s not a werewolf! It’s Dimitri!” All the chaos stopped. “But he is a werewolf,” I shouted. “Really! He’s turning hairy, his teeth are silver, and he is stealing my cups!” “No, I’m not a werewolf,” he replied. “I’m growing a beard, I got braces a few days ago, and I’m taking your cups because I want you to stop getting my sheep drunk!” I looked at the sheep. The sheep looked at me. With Marvin’s help, I pushed him into a sinkhole, and he was never heard of again. The sheep went with me on a tour of England, and we made a fortune selling herbal tea.
Sincerely, Vlad R.
AHHH, MOTHERLAND
This whole blog is pretty sweet, but this is one of the better pages.
Freaking Dostoyevsky
The Brothers Karamazov: another book to add to the favorites list. The Night Thoreau Spent in Jail isn’t bad, either.
Also, how come every book character I really like is either insane, going insane, or is a Jules Verne character?
Mind = blown
I wonder how accurate this all is?
Freaking Sean
I guess I have to concede and say that he was right on this one: Portal is an amazing game. Play it. It’s incredibly funny. It’s also a very spatial game, so that makes it even cooler.
I can also see why Sean wants to marry GLADoS.
And the Aperture Science vs. Black Mesa presentation slides going on in one of the rooms makes me happy.
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