So it didn’t end up coming yesterday, but IT’S HERE NOW!



EDIT: Turns out the first workout involving the treadmill was an arm workout. There was no way I could have done that without Nate. But here’s the ‘mill all set up (from a few days later):


Map of Fear

Perhaps this will all be over by the time I post these blogs and this website will either be defunct or just a memory of this rough time, but until then, here’s a world map of COVID-19 cases.

Y’know, in case there’s anyone out there who hasn’t seen this yet.

United States, you need to chill.



In other news, it’s still the dead of winter here, temperature-wise. Today the “feels like” temperature was 5 when I started my walk.

F I V E.
It is A P R I L.

And it’s supposed to snow like five days out of the next two weeks.

I reiterate: A P R I L.

It was also cloudy and dreary as hell today, which kills my motivation to do anything. I am solar-powered, yo. I needs da sun.


A List to End All April Lists

(Not really.)
(Yes, I’m doing the April list on the 4th. Fight me.)

  • Nate and I have been watching Ducktales via Disney+ (the new 2017 version, not the old one yet) and I’ve really been enjoying it. I never watched Ducktales when I was a kid for some reason (Talespin was my jam).
  • I don’t know how my current pair of shoes is going to make it until the 15th. They’re already so very worn out.
  • I wonder if my polymorphous light eruption will flare again this spring/summer or if that was just a one-time thing.
  • I’m currently replaying Half Life because, you know, I haven’t played that enough times in my life. I always forget just how big that game is, especially given when it first came out.
  • This is a beautifully-written opinion on the impact of COVID-19 on a family.
  • Here is a bald eagle and its chick. Super cute! I like bald eagles. I hope I get to see my bald eagle buddy down by the river once the weather gets better. If it ever does.

  • I love how my response to this pandemic has been BUY ALL THE THINGS. Is shopping my stress relief? Am I that kind of person?

I think I’m done.

Do the Covid-19 Panic

So is anyone else experiencing some serious COVID-19 symptoms that are completely psychosomatic in nature?

I sure as hell feel like I am.

I feel like I’m coughing more, even though I know I’m not.

I feel feverish, even though I’m not. I take my temperature like seven times a day and half the time my temp is below 96 degrees (I’m a lizard).

I feel like I’m having trouble breathing, even though I’m not. I can take deep breaths without struggling, I’m not wheezing or feeling a rattle or anything like that. And I’m pretty sure I couldn’t run seven miles if I was having actual breathing problems. I think part of this “symptom” is that when I’m working at home at my desk, I hunch over way more than I do at my office desk, which makes my lungs feel a bit more compressed.

But yeah, fun times. I’m pretty sure I’d actually be someone who showed no symptoms if I ever did get the virus, ‘cause that’s just how it would be.

Look at this adorable girl

She loves to grind her teeth and chin on my toes. And purr incessantly while she does so.

That is all.


Y’all, look at this fantastic cloud boundary. So sharp.


I risked my fingers freezing off for this, too. It’s so freaking cold here right now, but it wasn’t cold enough to deter me from taking cool cloud pictures.

‘Cause that’s how I roll.

US vs. Canada

Hey friends in the United States, is it as bad down there as the news is making it sound? ‘Cause it sounds pretty bad.

Obviously no one is really focusing on Idaho; how’s Idaho? Is everyone walking around in fear of getting the virus? Is Gritman overwhelmed? Are people protesting the shelter-at-home orders to get back to work?

Obviously Canada is getting hit by this as well (just like the rest of the world), but I think the biggest difference between Canada and the US as far as how this is being handled is in how it’s become such a political thing in the US whereas up here, we haven’t politicized it.

At least, not nearly to the extent that the US has.

Like…the crisis is being dealt with despite political differences up here. Political differences are not being deepened by the crisis. Again, at least not to the extent that they are in the US.

It’s interesting and weird and scary.

And this is going to sound really stupid, but I feel guilty for not being in the United States. I feel guilty for living in a country that seems to be handling this quite well while like 99.8% of all the people I’ve ever cared about are getting traumatized by the Trumpster Dumpster and his complete incompetence. It sounds scary down there, and I feel guilty for not having to share that scariness, if that makes any sense at all.



E-lectricity! EEEEEEEEEEE-lectricity!


So we were away from the Superstore for a little while and when we came back they had THESE.



They’re little electronic price labels and they are fascinating.

Edit: I just spent fifteen minutes reading a brochure about them.

Can…can regular people get a hold of these? I just want, like…five of them.

To cuddle.

(Sorry, these are for some reason obscenely cute to me and must be treasured and protected. I don’t know what my problem is.)

Edit again: we’ve seen a few injured ones (punctured/broken screens) lying to the side of aisles in the Superstore and it’s so hard not to take them, hahaha. I’d get in so much trouble, I’m sure.


I forgot how nice it feels to run outside.

Like, running on a treadmill is fine and dandy and a great way to deal with the urge of “NEED TO RUN” when it’s in the negative Fahrenheits outside.

But holy hell, running outside is a completely different experience. It’s so…relaxing? Natural? Calming?

I love it.

Today’s run was probably the easiest run I’ve had in a long while. I set a new fastest 10k time which I’m not going to post on here ‘cause it’s embarrassing how slow it still is and is nothing to be proud of.

But hey, I’m all about the distance more than the speed, right? And now that I can run outside and have more free time due to working from home/the semester starting to wrap up, I can start increasing my distances.



Tunes to Soothe Your Pandemic-Riddled Mind

So now that I’m no longer working on my Decade of Music project, I guess there won’t be any more end-of-year song summaries.


I will periodically provide you with updates about groovy tunes that I find post-project.

Let’s do one now!

  • Blinding Lights by The Weeknd (of course. I’m in love with this song.)
  • Stupid Love by Lady Gaga
  • Karma by AJR (relatable)
  • Shout by Empara Mi (this song fits a good plot thread in last year’s NaNo so well, you have no idea)
  • Woohoo by Raghav (he’s a Calgary dude!)
  • Caution by The Killers (like every The Killers song, it’s got that sad, frantic yearning tone behind it. And for some reason that shot with the birds along with those chords at 3:56 just murdered my heart.)
  • Unless It Hurts by Galantis


Oh my god, I love this song.

It’s got such awesome energy to it. And it is now the first Five Star post-Decade of Music Project.

So that’s kinda cool.

(Seriously, I’ve already listened to this like 80 times.)

Oh shit I bought a treadmill

Oh shit oh shit oh shit

Most people’s response to possible stay-at-home orders: oh no, groceries/oh no, friends/oh no, malls


So I bought this guy. Not sure exactly when he’ll get here, but hopefully before they shut everything completely down.

Yes, I mainly bought him in case we get quarantined. But he’ll also be useful for days where it’s pouring rain in the spring/summer/fall and days where it’s too cold to even make it the two miles to Anytime Fitness without getting frostbite.

So yeah.


  • I have the sudden urge to work on my 2009 NaNo (Prime). That story is a lost cause and incredibly dumb, but I want to work on it anyway.
  • I also want to continue working on my 2019 NaNo (Adrift), but given the current circumstances…maybe not
  • Freddie Freeman is great. He’s one of my favorites. It’s too bad there will probably be no baseball this year.

  • Nate and I are currently re-watching the Mets’ 2019 season. Which is great, but I want REAL BASEBALL with REAL CONSEQUENCES
  • This article did not age well.
  • I need to trim my eyelashes. I forgot how unruly they get if I don’t keep them in check, and it’s been a while since I’ve had the time to give them a good trim. They seriously start to look like fake eyelashes, which would be great except that I wear glasses and they get long enough to brush against the lenses. I hate that feeling.
  • Alberta’s killing it with the testing rate (“Alta” on the graph).


How the Shit is it Still Only March?

It’s another one of these survey doodads, hip-hip-hooray.

1. If there’s a personal god, what quality would you most like that person to have (and why)?
Can…can they just be Leibniz? If so, that.

2. What’s your death-row meal?

3. Assuming we make it through this outbreak with minimal loss of life, what do you think our big takeaway should be?
Don’t hide the severity of a medical emergency, no matter how bad it makes your country look.

4. Whom do you find yourself missing more than you would’ve predicted?
Sean. I really miss Sean.

5. What brings you the most joy? Not happiness, not contentment — JOY.
Not much brings me joy anymore. Hell, I can’t think of anything that consistently brings me joy right now.

6. Do you find yourself regretting anything you’ve said or done on social media?
Pfft. I regret nothing. P.S., if you go far enough back in this blog, you’ll find some primo r/IAmVerySmart material.

7. What are your favorite and least favorite things about your body and face?
Favorite: nothing
Least favorite: everything
I’m not kidding.

9. How’s the self-isolation affecting your libido?
Hah. What libido?

10. Which three places in the physical universe would you most like to visit?
The sun, Antarctica, Hanover. I know those are pretty “close” given the whole physical universe, but hey. I don’t like to travel.

11. On whom did you have a crush years ago? Have you ever told them?
We all know the Lead saga. We don’t need to go through the Lead saga.

12. How have your religious views changed since you were in high school?
Not at all.

13. If you could change one law, what would it be?
People should be promptly ticketed for not taking care of their sidewalks in the winter. I know there are laws – sort of – that are supposed to motivate people to clean snow/ice/slush off their sidewalks, but I truly think that they should be enforced to the same degree as things like speeding tickets, parking tickets, etc. Think of it this way: if cities waited as long to clean off portions of roads as some people wait to clear their sidewalks, think what a big fit everyone would raise?


So we’ve seen my top five books. We’ve seen my top five movies. Now let’s make another list that no one cares about by looking at my top five TV shows!

Quick note: #1 and #2 are light years ahead of the others.

Let’s do it.

#5: Community
When Nate and I first moved in together, we decided to write down the names of TV shows we wanted to watch on little pieces of paper, fold the papers up, and put them in a jar with the idea of randomly selecting one of the shows to watch all the way through whenever we had the time to watch TV (which, very quickly, ended up being the baseball off-season months). One of the first (or first?) shows we picked out of the jar was Community. Neither one of us had seen it or really knew anything about it, but we’d both heard good things about it. And it turns out that it was one of the funniest, best shows we’ve both ever seen. It was very unexpectedly hilarious. We also got my mom into it, so there’s that.

The Dean is the absolute best part of this show, but Chang is fantastic as well.

#4: Futurama

I have not met a single person who said that they didn’t like Futurama. Hell, even Rob – who hated everything else under the sun – liked Futurama. Like…what can even be said about Futurama?

#3: Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy
This was such a weird, colorful cartoon. I watched a lot of it at my dad’s house on the weekends, so a big part of the reason it’s on this list is because of nostalgia. But it’s also just a great cartoon.

#2: Metalocalypse
Anyone who knows me knows I love Metalocalypse. It’s a show that seems completely not my style, but I jive with it. It’s got ridiculous humor. Sean and I used to quote it all the time.

#1: Chicago Hope
So who’s surprised that Metalocalypse is not my #1? Yeah, me too. But here’s the thing. YesTV, for whatever reason, has been showing Chicago Hope every day at 4 PM, which means that I was able to watch it on my off day during the semester (when classes were still in person) and able to watch it every day once we moved to online learning. I had forgotten just how much I loved this show. I saw it first while I was still in high school. It was on the Discovery Health Channel and I always watched it when I came home from school. I hadn’t really gotten to see it (except for a few scattered episodes that are on YouTube), but now that I’ve been able to watch it again, yay, I love it.


Yes I did.


I hate it.

Annnnnnnnnnd now I have to work from home.


We can technically contact our supervisors if we “can’t or don’t” want to work from home, but I don’t want to be that guy who goes against the “let’s get this under control” rules just for the sake of convenience.

So I guess tomorrow I’ll haul all my nonsense home and hope that I’ll be able to concentrate well enough here to actually work.

(I might also try running outside tomorrow, since we’re finally getting a day where the weather is no longer in Super Winter mode.)

Annnnnnnnnnd the border’s closed.

I’m actually surprised they waited so long, but the US-Canadian border is now closed to all “non-essential” travel.

It’s only closed for 30 days, but I suspect it will extend for longer than that.

I know that this closure was a mutual decision between the US and Canada, but if things start to get really rough with all of this (economy-wise, especially), I really hope it doesn’t drive a wedge between the two countries. I’ve posted this video before on here, but I’ve been thinking about it with the recent talk of closing the border (and, of course, the actual closing of the border today).


You know the drill.

Do you think any of your exs still want to be with you?
Hahahaha, I seriously doubt it.

Has a boyfriend/​​​​​​​​​girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you?
Nope. Not that I know of.

Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed.
That would be rough. Neither of us want kids.

Will this Friday be a good one?
Tomorrow? Who the hell knows. Everything is chaos and fear right now.

When was the last time you completely broke down?
A couple weeks or so ago when I realized that this damn virus was going to fuck up the whole summer (and probably beyond).

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?

Are you nice to the people you dislike?
There aren’t many people I dislike. I don’t interact with them.

Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to?
To an extent, yes.

What are you excited for?
Not much.

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?

Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for?

Does sex mean love?

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?
Hahaha. Yes.

What’s something you really want right now?

What was the first thing you did this morning?
Probably pet Jazzy. I’m not super coherent in the mornings.

What is your relationship status?
Married to the best man in the world.

What did the last text in your inbox say? From Who.
“Hahahaha” from my mom.

What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person?
Half a year-ish. God, 2008 was a suck hole.

Are you listening to music right now?
No, surprisingly.

Anyone you would like to get things straight with?

What’s in your purse?
I don’t have a purse.

Is your name a common name?
I would say it’s not super common. I remember a lady at the Moscow DMV was named Claudia, but that’s the only “real life” Claudia I think I’ve met.

What is your favorite color out of these 5: Green, yellow, blue, pink, or red?

What are you doing tomorrow?
Walking and not working (it’s my “day off”).

You receive $500 without any reason, what do you spend it on?
Probably clothes. Or broccoli. Or walking shoes.

Where will you be in an hour?
Still here at my compy!

Is anything bothering you right now?

What do you think about math?

How is your mood?
Mild panic.

What time is it?
3:30 AM.

Where’s your phone?
On the bookshelf beside me.

Who was your last text from?
My mom.

Why did you last cry?
Because I’m me and that’s just what I do.

In the past week have you cried?
Oh god yes.

Do you want to see somebody right now?
I miss my mom.

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold?
Being cold is basically my default state; I can deal with it. Being too hot sucks.

How many cell phones have you had in your life?
I’d say…six?

Are you happy with the way things are going?
Personally? Sure. As far as the whole world goes? Ha.

Here Are Some Internet Humors

Because I’m sure we could all use a laugh right now, here is a set of random crap I’ve found on the internet over the past few days that has made me laugh hysterically.


(I legit laughed for like 20 minutes over this stupid thing)




(This is an older one but every time I see it I laugh)

A Campus Without Students

I submit to you some very creepy photos of the University of Calgary without students.






It’s…it’s weird in here.

I will now be delivering my courses through The Tubes

So MATH 249, SCIE 301, and STAT 323 have now been frantically converted to online format!

Freaking joy.

Classes have been cancelled today, too, because it sounds like they realized that asking instructors to completely readjust their courses with less than 48 hours’ notice was a little rough.

Which is good for me, since it’ll put my video lecture recordings two days ahead of when they need to be posted rather than just one. Buffers are good.

BLAH SORRY too busy to blog.

(Also, I will never tire of referring to the internet as a series of tubes. Never.)

Favorite Movies

Heyo, buttbandits.

So remember back in February sometime when I did my “Top 5 Books” blog post? Let’s do movies today.

‘Cause I’m trying to avoid all the work I’m going to need to do to move my three classes online for the rest of the semester.

From fifth to first:

#5: Toy Story
This movie came out around the time I was in first grade and I loved it so very much. As in, “let’s-force-the-whole-first-grade-class-to-pick-characters-and-then-make-our-own-version-of-it,-‘cause-I-was-mini-Stephen-Spielberg-and-no-one-was-going-to-stop-me” level of love. It still holds a very special place in my heart. Also, Tom Hanks.

#4: Armageddon
Armageddon kind of terrified me when I first saw it as a kid (specifically when the Independence shuttle bit it in the debris, that was horrifying to me as a little). But I love it now. It’s just such an American film, yeah? Awesome music. Bruce Willis. Manly drilling…in space. I love it.

#3: Mystery Men
I had my appendix removed in 2000 (literally as I was supposed to be attending my 6th grade graduation). I couldn’t do much for a few weeks after that, so there were two movies I watched incessantly while I had to stay home: The Music Man and Mystery Men. Mystery Men is kind of a nostalgia trip for me because it just brings me back to that time of my life. It’s funny and weird and has a lot of very quotable lines in it (“you threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff!” “Yeah, what was up with that?”).

#2: Apollo 13
I’ve loved this movie ever since the first time I saw it. It’s a very beautifully-put together movie with AWESOME music. Seriously. The music is probably what pushes this over the top for me. My favorite is “The Launch.” Also, Tom Hanks.

#1: Sunshine
(I have a thing for space disaster movies, can you tell?) Not a lot of people know about Sunshine, which is a shame because it’s freaking fantastic. You look at the DVD cover or you read a brief synopsis of it and you’re like, “oh, so it’s Armageddon but with the sun instead of an asteroid?” Nope, not even close. It’s so different from Armageddon, and I think that’s why I like it. Oh, right, and THE MUSIC OMFG. Here’s one of my favorite scenes with one of my favorite parts of the soundtrack.

It’s so beautiful. And yeah, the whole movie is about that level of intensity.

Online Party 2K20

Yup, I was right. We got the email today that we’re supposed to use this weekend to convert our classes to some sort of format that can be delivered online; students will not be coming back to campus for the foreseeable future.

Converting to an online format won’t be too hard for my courses, but I imagine there are a lot of profs who are in a bit of a panic right now. Two days is not a lot of time to make this transition…