1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read?
The Great Gatsby (in order to get an idea of what I think is beautiful writing and storytelling)

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?
I doubt it.

3. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?
It’s not bad. I always thought “Claudia” sounded like a kid’s name, but it’s not bad. There’s also not too many of us out there, so that’s nice.

4. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?
I thought that said “human DONG” for a second and was REALLY CONFUSED

5. are you religious/spiritual?
Neither. And I’m wary of that whole “I’m spiritual but not religious” thing. What does that even mean?

6. do you care about your ethnicity?
Not particularly. It’s nothing too special.

7. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?
I don’t think I’ve ever really felt connected to any musical artists. I like a good deal of artists, but I don’t feel connected to any of them in particular.

8. are you an artist?
Depends on how you define it. Do I “art” for a living? Not remotely. Do I draw garbage psychedelic nonsense that’s Too Deep To Handle™ and pretend I’m Dali or something? You betcha.

9. do you have a creed?
CAN YOU TAAAAAAKE MEEEEE HIIIIIIGHER

10. describe your ideal day.
Leibniz, age 47 or so, magically reincarnates in my general vicinity. The magical reincarnation made it so that he can speak English and he’s like “yoooooo the modern world is terrifying, won’t someone help calm me down by explaining all this crazy stuff I see?” I jet over to him and, as calmly as possible, hurl myself at him lick his wig bask in his amazingness and offer to help him out. I buy him a pair of glasses so that he can actually see. He’s amazed and captivated and curious, as I suspect he always was when he was alive before, and I have to make sure he doesn’t pass out from excitement/dehydration/hunger as he explores everything. I show him a calculator. I show him computers. I show him a modern calculus book. I buy him some modern clothes (because for some reason Leibniz wearing H&M fashion is just a little notion I had a while back and now I can’t get rid of it). I make him get vaccinated if he’s going to be around in the modern world for a while. We make use of the wonders of indoor plumbing. I take him to a restaurant and buy him some modern food. We ride the bus and the C-Train. I take him to Chinatown (Leibniz was a major Sinophile). I take him to the airport and show him that humans can fly through the air now. Hell, I buy us plane tickets and we jet over to Vancouver just for fun. But then we come right back because it’s probably raining over there and can you imagine how heavy a water-logged wig must be? We go to a used bookstore so that he can see what books are like nowadays and I buy him anything that catches his interest. We climb to the top of Nose Hill Park and watch the sun set over downtown’s tall buildings. I listen to his amazement and excitement regarding everything he’s seen throughout the day. We look at the stars through a telescope. We speculate about what’s left to discover in the universe. We sit together in wonderful silence. And once he’s finally worn out, I let him crash on the spare bed, making sure to note which pillow he uses, because THAT thing is going to be hermetically sealed and treasured forever one he’s done with it. And if he’s still there in the morning, we do it all over again.

Hey, you said ideal, not realistic.

11. dog person or cat person?
Cat person, definitely.

12. inside or outdoors?
Unless I’m walking, I’d prefer to be indoors.

13. are you a musician?
I can play a few instruments and can read music quite well, but that’s about the extent of it. So…sorta?

14. five most influential books over your lifetime.
In no particular order:
The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald). I love how subtle this book is. I don’t know if “subtle” is the right word or how anyone else would describe it, but I always got this real subtle vibe from it. Also, wonderful language and characters.
Leibniz: An Intellectual Biography (Antognazza). I somehow managed to gain even more respect for Leibniz after reading this very thorough bio.
Candide (Voltaire). This was the book that got me interested in the European Enlightenment as a whole thing, which got me into philosophy and a lot of other topics that I probably never would have been interested in otherwise.
Lolita (Nabokov). NNNNNNNNNNNNG THE WRITING, OMFG. The writing is beautiful. There were literally some sentences paragraphs that made me sit back and just shiver.
The Monadology (Leibniz). Self-explanatory.

15. if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?
Hahaha, probably not. Even just one or two changes in my past environments would have put me at a completely different place as a person.

16. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?
BAH.

17. would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?
I’d rather be in Calgary.

18. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.
Being anxious, walking, working, internetting, listening to music

19. could you live as a hermit?
I would be sad to be without Nate and my mom and Jazzy.

20. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?
Haha, like a 7.

R U REDDY 4 A SURVAY?

Me too. Let’s go.

What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries?
Can salt count?

What is a field of study that is of your interest?
Like all of them, haha. Stats, math, philosophy, English, etc

Do you like to eat stir fry?
Only when there are certain things in it. Stir-fried veggies are great.

What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone?
I cross my arms. It’s like the worst body language you can have while talking to someone because it makes it look like you’re closed off/bored/impatient/wanting to leave, but that’s all I can think of to do with my arms.

Does it bother you when someone cuts you off while walking?
MAN, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Peoples’ walking etiquette is awful and everything is awful.

What color is your mp3?
White/silver.

Have you ever laid in a hammock?
Probably.

What time of day do you feel mostly at peace?
Never. Peace is not for me.

How has the weather been treating you lately?
SCREW THIS WEATHER, MAN. It’s been incredibly cold for the past like 5 months, and now it’s rainy/windy/STILL SNOWING. Screw this weather, man.

Have you ever lost a pet in a tragic way? How did you cope?
Any death of a pet is tragic. But I remember when I was young my cat Wooder died on my bed. It was dark and I couldn’t see, but I could hear her dying and was very, very frightened.

What type of curtains do you like?
Um…the ones that cover windows?

What can you go a day without doing?
Having food. Food is for mortals.

What can’t you go a day without doing?
Lately? Crying.

What is your ideal weekend like?
Ideal? One of the two days would involve a nice long rain-free, sunburn-free walk with Nate; the other day would involve a nice long rain-free, sunburn-free walk (or run, whichever) by myself, plus some time to work on school stuff. Both days would involve watching baseball and hanging out with my wonderful husband.

Who do you spend most of your time with?
Nate!

Are you into Graphic Novels?
No, surprisingly. You’d think I would be, though, huh?

Do you have a favorite classical composer?
I’m a traitor if I don’t say Mahler, but I really love Holst.

What type of quality is a must have in a friend?
A similar sense of humor.

Are you any good at reading someone’s body language?
I’d like to say I am, but I’m also the worst at everything, so…

Where is the farthest you have traveled?
Stockholm, Sweden. Or Helsinki. I think Helsinki is further away from Moscow.

Have you ever ate a zucchini?
Not raw. I’ve had zoodles, though!

What type of art would you hang up in your room?
Anything colorful! Or anything Dali, Monet, or Mondrian.

What goes good with a nice cold glass of milk?
Milk is always good after having something super salty, like salty French fries.

What fruit is too sweet to you?
“Too sweet?” That’s a thing?

Can you whistle an entire song?
Damn straight.

When’s the last time you ate a pickle?
I’ve never had a pickle.

What’s that you’re listening to?
The fridge having an anxiety attack in the kitchen.

Was the last thing you drank a coke or pepsi product?
Dasani is Coke, right?

How many times is your cartilage pierced in your ears?
Five times. Two regular lobe piercings, an extra lobe piercing, and two for the industrial.

What are your pet’s names?
Jazzy, Franklin, and Annabelle (Raymond Cat is not a pet. He’s a lion.)

Do you need to take a smoke break right now?
Smoking is dumb.

Have you ever had a pet bird?
Franklin is definitely more Nate’s pet than mine (he’s still a little wary of me).

Honestly, do you think that you’re going to be an overprotective parent?
The only things I ever plan to parent are cats. And yes, I can be a little overprotective at times.

What was the last kind of chips you ate?
Nate lets me have one of his round tortilla chips when he has those, so one of those.

Would you rather have ice cream, freeze pops, or popsicles in the summer?
Ice cream sounds SO GOOD right now, holy crapples.

What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed?
A fantastic one. It’s almost like we’re married or something.

What color are your toenails right now?
They aren’t painted.

When was the last time you clipped your nails?
Like a week ago. My toenails were stabbing through my socks.

Does your mouse have a wheel to scroll with?
Yup.

What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t?
Physics. That’s mainly because I haven’t taken a physics class past high school, but still.

What were your grades on the last report card you received?
It’s been over 10 years since I got a report card, yo. I’m old.

What temperature do you like to keep your room at?
The hotter the better, excepts when I’m sleeping.

What is the brightest object you can see by just looking around the room you’re in?
The lamp right next to me.

Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself?
I’m pretty sure I’ve never been tutored, but I’ve tutored a few other people, mainly informally, in stats.

Would you rather wear necklaces, bracelets, rings, or earrings?
Earrings.

Where did you receive your last receipt from?
Safeway. Bought broccoli.

What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)?
“I love you.”

Is everything you have on actually yours?
Um, yes?

When was the last time you wore a band-aid and why?
Jazzy caught her nail in the skin of my finger and ripped a huge gash in it. I didn’t bleed, but thought a band aid would be wise.

When was the last time you had tea?
A long time ago. I need to get back in the green tea game.

Do you ever watch those cake shows on the Food Network?
I never used to, but lately I’ve been going to Anytime Fitness during the time that Food Network has “Cake Wars” on. It’s actually more enjoyable to watch than I thought it would be.

Is it annoying when sites have a music player on their profile?
Yes.

Are you failing any classes?
Nope! Impossible.

What do/did you have plan for Spring Break?
What the hell did I even do for spring break? I probably just worked, eh? I can’t remember.

When was the last time you used a calculator?
Today.

Are you wearing pants?
Pajama pants, yes.

Have you ever encountered a ghost?
Who knows?

What was the reason why you stayed after school for?
Like, as in detention? I was making fun of perfect squares in 8th grade.

Does your school ever have bonfires?
U of I did for homecoming.

Would you rather be at the beach right now?
Not particularly, no.

Don’t you just hate it when you run out of hot water while you were in the middle of taking a hot shower?
That’s never happened to me.

Chocolate or vanilla cupcake?
Chocolate.

Do you know any parent that lets their kids smoke or drink?
Probably.

The Getting to Know You Questions

What is your occupation right now? How long have you been there?
I’m a stats instructor at the University of Calgary! I’ve had the job for about 8 months now.

Favorite rock band. Ever.
I’m not super into any particular rock band, actually. Does Queen count as rock? If so, Queen.

What are you listening to right now?|
Nothing. It’s super late at night (early in the morning?) and everything’s nice and quiet.

Last person you spoke to on the phone. What was it about?
I talked to my mom about all the usual things. Particularly how much we both want to see each other and sad we both are. Fun stuff like that.

How old are you today? Or make up a question. This one bites.
29 years, 3 months, and 18 days old.

What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
Baseball! Almost everything else sucks.

What is your favorite drink?
Water. Exciting, huh?

Have you ever dyed your hair?
In 2007, I bought some “temporary” red dye and put a bit of it in my hair. Turns out that L’Oréal thinks that “temporary” is a synonym of “forever” because that dye ate my natural hair color and took over like some sort of creepy follicle parasite. I actually had to dye my hair black to get the red out, haha.

Favorite food?
Either broccoli or M&Ms. Tough decision.

What is the last movie you watched?
Man, I don’t remember. I barely remember my own name sometimes.

Favorite day of the year?
Like…a specific date or a specific day on which something happens? I don’t know. I’ll just say my birthday.

How do you vent anger?
Angrily.
It’s mostly crying. And sometimes yelling if I’m in a private enough place. But mostly crying. Hell, if you ever see me crying, the chances of it being angry crying rather than sad crying are probably like 70%.

What was your favorite toy as a child?
When I was a baby/toddler, I had a squeaky dog toy that was a green wrench. Its name was Wrenchie, of course.
When I was a little older, I had a herd of 26 cheeping Easter chick toys. One for each letter of the alphabet. Adam, Bill, Candy, David, Ed, Fred, Greg, Herbert, Ivan, Jacob, Kiwi, Lena, Marie, Nelson, Opus, Peachy, Quince, Rachel, Sylvester, Tom, Ursula, Veronica, Walter, Xena, Yvonne, Zachary. I loved those chicks, yo.

Living arrangements? (Of course your pets count. Geez!)
I live with my wonderful husband in our awesome condo. We’ve got a Franklin bird and a Jazzy cat.

What was the last thing that you cried about?
My being a failure.

Who is the friend you have had the longest?
I don’t know if he considers me a friend anymore (I haven’t seen him in person in a long time), but I guess technically my answer should be Aneel. I actually knew him in preschool.

What did you do last night?
The usual. Hung out and did useless stuff on the internet. Because I’m a useless blob of blobness.

What are you most afraid of?
I’m not afraid of much, but probably the thing I’m most afraid of is one of my loved ones (my mom, Nate, Jazzy) getting hurt.

In how many areas of your country have you lived? What’s your favorite?
I’ve lived in two countries!
US: Northern Idaho and Tucson, AZ
Canada: Vancouver, Toronto area (London specifically), Calgary
Calgary has been my favorite, but I will always love Moscow.

What is your favorite flower?
Half of the appeal of flowers is lost on me because I can’t smell them. Sunflowers are cool. Dandelions aren’t bad either, even though they’re evil.

It’s a survey because I’m 110% done with life and I hate life and I hate everything and surveys are the only thing that deaden the pain.

(Emo Claudia is emo.)

If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you?
Probably Hanover, because I’m totally not obsessed with Leibniz at all. I’d like to take Nate, but I don’t know if he could handle all the Leibniz obsession.

What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)
My four-color Bic pen. Love that thing.

Favourite month and why?
February, ‘cause birthday.

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them.
Not that I’m aware of.

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are.
My computer mouse, my keyboard, the fake plant on my desk. Pretty boring.

What brand logo is closest to you currently?
LG.

Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites?
Scrabble rules the universe.

A musical artist you love that isn’t well known
I have no idea if Cut Copy is considered well-known or not, but I’ll choose them.

A musical artist you love that is well known
I love Coldplay. Can’t get enough Coldplay.

What is your desktop background currently?
It’s a Clefairy!

Last person you talked to?
Nate!

First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow
Pink

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in?
The clock on the wall, the clock on my compy, my phone, the other clock on the wall, the stove clock, the microwave clock.

What kind of headphones do you use?
My everyday/walking headphones are Koss KPH7. They’re like $5 at Walmart and have super good quality sound for the price. They’re also pretty durable.
My high-quality headphones are Sennheiser HD 231i. Non-muddled sound quality that is also not too bass-heavy? Yay!

What musical artists have you seen perform live?
OK Go!

Does virginity matter to you?
Nah.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own?
Of the ones that are not in the closet: Xbox 360, Xbox One.

What pets do you have? What are their names?
JAZZY! She’s a sweetie. Have a picture.

What’s the best job you’ve ever had?
My current one! I love teaching statistics. LOVE it.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
That damn summer custodian job at the U of I. I didn’t mind the work itself, but the disorganization made me want to throw up from rage.

What magazines do you read, if any?
I don’t read any magazines.

Inspiration behind your blog title?
I used to be Le Seul Mot Juste, but Eigenblogger is a lot less pretentious and a lot more memorable, in my opinion.

Favourite item of clothing?
My lime green pants.

Are you friends with any exes?
I’m friends with Matt! I’d be friends with Aaron if I knew where he was, haha. Rob? Nnnno.

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation?
I speak ‘Murican.

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in?
There’s a Leibniz poster above me. There’s a Monet painting and a few clocks, too.

What’s your favourite number, and why?
Probably 11. I like numbers that have the same digit multiple times, and 11 is the first one of those.

What did you have for dinner yesterday?
I didn’t have dinner yesterday.

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate?
Peanut M&Ms. It’s not even a contest.

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently?
Can you tell I lifted this from Tumblr? I consider Eigenblogger my primary blog, but I do have a Tumblr. No other blogs, though.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat?
Right now? Cheese.

If you could study anything, what would it be?
E V E R Y T H I N G

Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick)
Vaseline. It’s the only thing that works for me.

What things annoy you more than anything else?
People who suck at walking, people who don’t know how to use the crosswalk buttons, people using Twitter like idiots, the current “all yoga pants all the time” fashion.

What kind of position are you in at the moment?
Just sitting in my computer chair.

Do you wear much jewellery?
Nope. Just my wedding ring (which is usually on a chain around my neck) and sometimes earrings.

What do you carry your money in?
…A wallet?

Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not?
It’s been a long time since I personally have driven a car. I don’t mind it, no, as long as we can listen to my music.

Furthest away from home you have ever been?
Stockholm, Sweden.

How many times have you moved house?
MAN, DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED

How many devices do you own which can access the internet?
Five?

Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy?
Not lately, no.

What programs do you currently have open?
Chrome (6 tabs), Word, the calculator, The Sims.

What do you associate the colour red with?
Ambition.

Last strong smell you can remember smelling?
SCREW YOU

Last healthy thing you ate?
Is a pita healthy? If not, broccoli.

Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day?
None.

What do you associate the colour blue with?
Melancholy.

How long is the closest ruler you can find?
Six inches. I’ve got my drawing crap in the drawer next to me.

What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing?
I’m wearing my blue Hello Kitty jammies.

When was the last time you drank water?
Yesterday? I’m a camel.

How often do you clear your browser history?
Ha. Never.

Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic?
Duh.

Ever written fanfiction for anything?
Ha. Yes. Technically I wrote my first bit of fanfiction in first grade. For Star Wars.

Last formal event you attended
Haha, probably my wedding!

If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why?
February 29th, because that’d be cool.

Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside?
Beach.

Roughly how many people live in your town?
I think it’s like 1.2 million or so.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
Mayor Nenshi! How badass is that?

Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores
If I say Walmart, am I automatically white trash?

Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one?
It’s a Samsung Galaxy S6. It’s pretty awesome.

What is your least favourite colour, and why?
I abhor red-orange. Red is cool, orange is the best, but I really just hate anything in between the two.

How do you spell grey/gray?
Gray.

Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link)
[UGH FINE I’LL LOG ONTO TUMBLR JEEZ]
It’s a bunch of fluttering hearts. Like glitter hearts.

What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow?
50 – 50 = 0. I should win a prize!

How many posts do you have?
299.

How many posts have you liked?
208.

Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content?
Mostly reblogs.

Do you track any tags?
Anosmia, Achievement Hunter, Metalocalypse.

What time is it currently?
3:09 AM.

Is there anything you should be doing right now?
Making dinner.