ZOOM ZOOM I’M A BROOM


1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read?
The Great Gatsby (in order to get an idea of what I think is beautiful writing and storytelling)

2. have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you? if so, who?
I doubt it.

3. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?
It’s not bad. I always thought “Claudia” sounded like a kid’s name, but it’s not bad. There’s also not too many of us out there, so that’s nice.

4. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?
I thought that said “human DONG” for a second and was REALLY CONFUSED

5. are you religious/spiritual?
Neither. And I’m wary of that whole “I’m spiritual but not religious” thing. What does that even mean?

6. do you care about your ethnicity?
Not particularly. It’s nothing too special.

7. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?
I don’t think I’ve ever really felt connected to any musical artists. I like a good deal of artists, but I don’t feel connected to any of them in particular.

8. are you an artist?
Depends on how you define it. Do I “art” for a living? Not remotely. Do I draw garbage psychedelic nonsense that’s Too Deep To Handle™ and pretend I’m Dali or something? You betcha.

9. do you have a creed?
CAN YOU TAAAAAAKE MEEEEE HIIIIIIGHER

10. describe your ideal day.
Leibniz, age 47 or so, magically reincarnates in my general vicinity. The magical reincarnation made it so that he can speak English and he’s like “yoooooo the modern world is terrifying, won’t someone help calm me down by explaining all this crazy stuff I see?” I jet over to him and, as calmly as possible, hurl myself at him lick his wig bask in his amazingness and offer to help him out. I buy him a pair of glasses so that he can actually see. He’s amazed and captivated and curious, as I suspect he always was when he was alive before, and I have to make sure he doesn’t pass out from excitement/dehydration/hunger as he explores everything. I show him a calculator. I show him computers. I show him a modern calculus book. I buy him some modern clothes (because for some reason Leibniz wearing H&M fashion is just a little notion I had a while back and now I can’t get rid of it). I make him get vaccinated if he’s going to be around in the modern world for a while. We make use of the wonders of indoor plumbing. I take him to a restaurant and buy him some modern food. We ride the bus and the C-Train. I take him to Chinatown (Leibniz was a major Sinophile). I take him to the airport and show him that humans can fly through the air now. Hell, I buy us plane tickets and we jet over to Vancouver just for fun. But then we come right back because it’s probably raining over there and can you imagine how heavy a water-logged wig must be? We go to a used bookstore so that he can see what books are like nowadays and I buy him anything that catches his interest. We climb to the top of Nose Hill Park and watch the sun set over downtown’s tall buildings. I listen to his amazement and excitement regarding everything he’s seen throughout the day. We look at the stars through a telescope. We speculate about what’s left to discover in the universe. We sit together in wonderful silence. And once he’s finally worn out, I let him crash on the spare bed, making sure to note which pillow he uses, because THAT thing is going to be hermetically sealed and treasured forever one he’s done with it. And if he’s still there in the morning, we do it all over again.

Hey, you said ideal, not realistic.

11. dog person or cat person?
Cat person, definitely.

12. inside or outdoors?
Unless I’m walking, I’d prefer to be indoors.

13. are you a musician?
I can play a few instruments and can read music quite well, but that’s about the extent of it. So…sorta?

14. five most influential books over your lifetime.
In no particular order:
The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald). I love how subtle this book is. I don’t know if “subtle” is the right word or how anyone else would describe it, but I always got this real subtle vibe from it. Also, wonderful language and characters.
Leibniz: An Intellectual Biography (Antognazza). I somehow managed to gain even more respect for Leibniz after reading this very thorough bio.
Candide (Voltaire). This was the book that got me interested in the European Enlightenment as a whole thing, which got me into philosophy and a lot of other topics that I probably never would have been interested in otherwise.
Lolita (Nabokov). NNNNNNNNNNNNG THE WRITING, OMFG. The writing is beautiful. There were literally some sentences paragraphs that made me sit back and just shiver.
The Monadology (Leibniz). Self-explanatory.

15. if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?
Hahaha, probably not. Even just one or two changes in my past environments would have put me at a completely different place as a person.

16. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?
BAH.

17. would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?
I’d rather be in Calgary.

18. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.
Being anxious, walking, working, internetting, listening to music

19. could you live as a hermit?
I would be sad to be without Nate and my mom and Jazzy.

20. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?
Haha, like a 7.

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