Today my mom was way too nice to me (like she always is) and bought me a metric ton of earrings, along with some other things.
Prompted to continue to look for things to buy (because I have issues), I was looking at watches on Amazon, ‘cause that’s what I do (and because I wanted to see if my favorite watch would ship to Calgary, should I ever need another replacement) and I came across a pretty great review for a Casio calculator watch:
I’ve always wanted a calculator watch. Now that I’m pushing 30, I felt that I’m an adult and I can do what I want and I want to buy a calculator watch, dammit. Yeah, I said it. You’re not my mom. Deal with it.
It’s great. It has dual time, a stopwatch, alarm, tells the date and day of the week, AND A FRIGGIN’ CALCULATOR. If you wear it tightly enough, you can feel your pulse. So it’s like an Apple Watch only it costs under $20, has a 3 year manufacturer’s warranty, and the battery lasts five years. Doesn’t send text messages, but you can write such words as ‘BOOBS’, ‘BOOBIES’, ‘BOOBLESS’, ‘BEES’, and ‘SHOE’. So if you’re a man of few words and your friend is right next to you, it’s basically the same as iMessage.
Knocked off a star because the screen seems to lack some contrast. Not sure if it’s permanent or the battery is low. Can’t recharge the battery, so I don’t know.
Side note: I’m loving these small, low profile Casio watches. This is the one that I’ve been wearing for a while now, but Casio’s got quite a few watches that are super small and compact and make it feel like you’re not wearing a watch at all. If you’re on the lookout for a small, barely-there watch that works great, give this one a try.
Sometimes I like to search for “common” things on Amazon—like watches, headphones, water bottles, etc.—and then sort the results by price from high to low. I like to see just how ridiculously expensive the first* item is. Just for some fun. Want some examples?
Headphones: HiFiMan HE1000 Open-Back Planar Magnetic Headphones ($2,368.95)
Pen: Mont Blanc Meisterstuck 149 Fountain Pen ($915)
Calculator: HP 15C Limited Edition Scientific Calculator ($695.00)
Pastels: Caran d’Ache Classic Neocolor II Water-Soluble Pastels ($1,293.97)
Scissors: ICAR 13” Tailors’ Shears/Scissors ($389.99)
*Okay, I really look at the first item that looks legit. Like, it has to have at least one review and have a “realistic” price. No billion-dollar trash cans, yo.
AS THE TITLE SAYS, I have money and I want headphones.
The money’s from MTurk. I’ve been doing three or four little tasks at night, and while the individual tasks don’t pay much (maximum like $2 for any of the ones I do), if you do enough, they add up. I have about $50 from MTurk now, so I’ve decided I can spend that on whatever I want.
But it’s not like I need headphones. I have my awesome Koss ones that cost about $4.50 and I have at least 4 backup pairs of them for when the current ones inevitably break (the sound quality is awesome, but they don’t last too long. $4.50 headphones, yo).
But I logged onto Amazon for whatever the hell reason tonight and it knew I had some extra money ‘cause it was like, “hey bro, y u no buy some Sennheisers?”
And so it’s all Amazon’s fault that I’ve spent the past two hours looking at headphones.
- Sennheiser HD 518 Headphones
- Sennheiser HD 280 Pro Headphones
- Sennheiser HD 598 Special Edition Over-Ear Headphones
I cannot choose!
Edit: Okay, I ended up not getting any of these. I ended up not getting Sennheisers at all. Instead, I got this guy. I’m super picky about comfort when it comes to headphones, and a good number of the reviews for these headphones said that they were really, really comfortable. Plus they’re supposed to sound good. And they’re a cool shade of blue.
So back when we were in Moscow, Nate and I visited Hastings and came across a book entitled Becoming a Supple Leopard. We weren’t quite sure what a Supple Leopard was (though I’m assuming it deserves to be capitalized), but it kind of became a little joke with us. I’d call Nate a Supple Leopard, one of us would do something and the other would say, “that’s something a Supple Leopard would do”…that kind of thing.
Anyway, tonight we decided to finally look up the book on Amazon to see if any of the reviews actually explained the “Supple Leopard” thing. But we found something better. We found this review:
Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be as agile as the ninjas you see so often on TV? Oh, you’ve never seen a ninja?! There’s a good reason for that – they are NINJAS.
Ninjas are fast and graceful, and you always see them doing crazy things with their body that involves wicked flexibility. Where does all that flexibility come from? How do you think they recover after being beaten down by Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris, Jet Li or Jackie Chan? By reading this book, targeting their goats, smashing their psoas, freeing their matted down tissues and working out other downstream issues they become more agile and deadly than ever and recover far faster from deadly one-inch punches to the face.
Last thing to mention, is that ninjas are never in anything like a pain cave. They brave out their training and all their fights to the death. The pain cave or a pain “face” means nothing to them. Except for above mentioned deadly one-inch punch to the face. But then they’re dead.
Basically, become a leopard, become a ninja, become anything extreme and more awesome (I scribbled “Snow” above Leopard, because my spirit animal is a Snow Leopard).
Enjoy this book. But don’t. Because if you do the exercises, it will hurt. In a good way. Like if your favourite movie star crush strapped you down and ripped your pants off. But then again, you’re now a ninja – so that will never happen.
The reviewer’s username is, appropriately, “Deadly Ninja” and this is the only thing they’ve reviewed.
I love the immediate contradiction of “Oh, you’ve never seen a ninja?! There’s a good reason for that – they are NINJAS” and “Ninjas are fast and graceful, and you always see them doing crazy things with their body that involves wicked flexibility.”
How can I see them if they’re ninjas, Deadly Ninja?
HOW CAN I SEE THEM?!?!
Ahoy again, faithful readers! (Who probably won’t see this until June when I finally post the damn thing…)
So there’s a site called Mechanical Turk that is run by Amazon. Basically, you can sign up as a worker and do tasks for requesters. Usually the requester’s tasks are things like answering survey questions or other things for companies/universities/etc. If you qualify and complete a task, you get paid by the requester.
So far this totally sounds like a “make money quick” website that’s in actuality a scam, but it’s not! It’s legitimately run through Amazon and you actually do get paid (without giving away your personal information or anything like that). I’ve been using it since mid-2014 (and I actually don’t know why I’ve never blogged about it before) and haven’t had a single issue with it being any sort of scam.
And while you do earn legit money, you definitely don’t earn a lot very quickly, especially if you just do the tasks in your spare time. For example, since the middle of last year when I started using it, I’ve earned a total of $171. The biggest payment for a task that I’ve ever done is $4.00, but most of the ones I do are worth a dollar or 80 cents or something like that. If you take a qualifying test you can be allowed to work on the audio transcription tasks, which are usually worth a lot more ($40+), but I haven’t done that yet because I’m too lazy to do transcriptions, haha.
But yeah, $171 is better than nothing, and it gives you something to do if you have a spare few minutes every night or something like that. And like I said, it’s actually legitimate, and a good way to earn a bit of spare money if you wanted to.
Have I done one of those “Claudia wants material stuff” posts lately? I’m too lazy to go back and look, but I have a desire to do another one because I just found like three books on Amazon that look snazzy.
And hell, the main reason I even make these types of posts at all is so that if/when I have a little extra money flying around, I don’t have to remember “what was it I wanted to buy?” but can just go back to my last materialistic post instead.
‘Cause, y’know, I’m cool like that.
(I’m not really that materialistic, I swear.)
“This book not only helps current R users become R programmers but also shows existing programmers what’s special about R. Intermediate R programmers can dive deeper into R and learn new strategies for solving diverse problems while programmers from other languages can learn the details of R and understand why R works the way it does.”
Handbook of Statistical Distributions with Applications
“Presenting both common and specialized probability distribution models, as well as providing applications with practical examples, this handbook offers comprehensive coverage of plots of probability density functions, methods of computing probability and percentiles, algorithms for random number generation, and inference, including point estimation, hypothesis tests, and sample size determination.”
“Following a basic introduction, forty popular distributions are outlined in individual chapters that are complete with related facts and formulas.”
Retro Creeper! (I might have posted this before)
You know what’s hilarious/frightening? Going on Amazon, searching for some specific thing, and then ranking the results from highest price to lowest to see the most outrageous items ever.
Also, Amazon is currently out of their stock of Giant Inflatable Penis costumes. Just FYI. (No, I did not just buy them all.)
OH MY GOD it has 16 reviews.
“I am sure my brother will like it as he has always been a bit of a cock.”
“Never a dull moment at a party if you’re dressed as a huge penis.” Quite possibly the truest words in the galaxy.
“People kept calling me a knob.”
Edit: Oh Jesus, don’t Google “giant inflatable penis costume.”