It’s just a survey, calm down.

Do you own a tablet of any kind?
I have a Kindle (named “Kondle”) and an iPad. It’s an old iPad…like 2nd gen or something. He’s a hefty boy. He’s around here somewhere.

What’s something people always assume about you that isn’t true?
That I’m good at math. I am absolutely not.

On a scale of 1-10, how much do elevators scare you?
A zero.

When you’re upset, do you vent to people or do you keep to yourself?
Depends. I actually prefer venting to no one, as in vocally voicing my complaints to an empty room. I do this a lot in the shower. And in my office. And when I’m walking.

Have you ever watched a meteor shower?
I think we watched one on our deck once here.

Do you tend to put things off until the last minute?
I try not to, especially with work-related stuff.

How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you?
I try to be polite and converse back, but it stresses me out, haha.

Do you have a lucky number?
I don’t know if I have any lucky numbers, but I do seem to have a lot of double numbers in my life, like 22 or 55 or things like that.

Would you go out to dinner with Oprah?
Sure.

Did you ever play sports?
HA. I guess I did t-ball when I was itty bitty. I’m sure I sucked at it. I did marching band, too. That totally counts.

Do you think you could make it as a baker?
Of all the possible culinary pursuits, baking is probably the one I could handle with my anosmia. I don’t know if I could “make it,” though.

Are you one of those people who are wearing scarves with everything?
I only wear a scarf when absolutely necessary. Like, -20 and below.

Have you ever been in a castle?
I went to one in London, I think.

When you were little, did you ever play with Playdoh?
A little. Not as much as you’d probably think, but I preferred clay.

Would you rather write a mystery or love story?
A mysterious love story!

Tell me about your worst fashion mistake:
Me. I’m the worst fashion mistake.

Do you hate it when people smoke around you?
Of course. I can’t smell it, but I am rather fond of my lungs and being able to breathe with them.

How are you wearing your hair right now?
It’s short. It looks terrible. You know, like always.

When’s the last time you were sick?
It’s been a long time. 2018 I think?

Would you rather have OJ or milk with your breakfast?
Milk.

What were you doing thirty minutes ago?
Uhhhhhhh listening to music.

Do you own any school related clothing articles?
I have a University of Calgary sweatshirt and a few Vandals shirts. And my Vandal Marching Band hat.

Would you rather call people or have them call you?
Bro, neither.

Can you carry a tune?
Sure.

Who do you text the most?
My mom!

Sure.

Do you like apple soda?
The hell is apple soda?

Are there any writing utensils close to you?
Five highlighters, a few pens, and a mechanical pencil that’s out of lead.

Are you registered to vote?
In the States, yes. I can’t vote up here yet.

Do you watch football regularly?
Nope.

Look up, what do you see?
The dining room light. A heating vent.

Do you have a bigger upper or lower lip?
Lower.

Are you currently doing any big projects?
My 2020 NaNoWriMo is still being worked on, if that counts. Plus yearly mileage and all that stuff.

When was the last time you really laughed out loud when you typed ‘lol’?
I don’t tend to use lol when I’m actually lol-ing.

Do you have any screen names with spelling errors?
Nope.

Open the nearest drawer and tell me what’s inside it:
Sponges.

What was the last thing that shocked you?
I think I’m too dulled by all the pandemic stuff to be shocked anymore.

How many other rooms can you currently see into?
If you count the living room and kitchen as separate from the dining room, then two.

Do you need to take the trash out?
Nope.

Do you need to clean your room right now?
I don’t have a room.

Do you need to clean out a litter box right now?
I do it every morning, so no.

Are these questions reminding you of things you put off to do this survey?
Nope.

How about dishes?
Always.

How many days have you been wearing those clothes?
Just today.

Do you like listening to 60’s music?
Sure.

Can you move your nose?
Like…scrunch it up? Sure.

Can you flip your eyelids inside out?
I wouldn’t want to try.

Can you wiggle your ears?
No.

Can you make a clover with your tongue?
That’s like the only thing I can’t do with my tongue.
(Giggety.)

Can you put your foot behind your head?
Bro, I can’t even tough my toes.

When was your last break-up?
In…2009.

Would you rather not be reminded of that?
Eh. It was mutual and amicable. I was moving to Canada.

What one thing never fails to amuse you?
My own stupid jokes.

How many songs have you downloaded this week?
The week is just starting.

Would you rather be a ninja or a samurai?
Neither.

Would you rather be a pirate or robot?
A robotic pirate!

Would you rather be a ghost or a zombie?
Ghost.

Have you ever considered living in a bomb shelter?
We had a bomb shelter at one of our old houses.

How lonely are you right now?
I miss my mom. A lot. I saw her for a week or so back in…August?…but that wasn’t nearly long enough to make up for the Covid absence.

If I gave you a piano and told you hit middle c, could you?
Yup!

Have you ever typed out a long rant, then your computer died?
Not a rant, but there have been many times that I’ve coded a question in WeBWorK only to accidentally lose it one way or another. Frustrating, frustrating.

Yes we are. Woo.

What did you do in 2021 that you’d never done before?
Get a COVID vaccine, haha.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
There will soon be a blog post regarding this!

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.

Did anyone close to you die?
Jazzy. Jazzy died.

What countries did you visit?
COVID = NO TRAVEL EVER YOU FART BAGS LIFE IS MISERABLE

What would you like to have in 2022 that you lacked in 2021?
A lack of a heat dome.

What date from 2021 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day Jazzy died.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not jumping off a bridge. Though whether that’s actually an achievement is up for debate.

What was your biggest failure?
Existing.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nopers.

What was the best thing you bought?
God, I don’t remember. Stuff.

Where did most of your money go?
Stuff.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The COVID vaccines. That’s a big deal, yo.

What song will always remind you of 2021?
Uhhhhhhhhh anything from Weezer’s new album, maybe? In all honesty, I think 2020 through, like, 2024 is all going to be a big indiscernible blur. [Edit from 2024: yeah, basically]

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Copied over from last year: Bought frivolous stuff. Stress shopping is apparently a thing I do, unfortunately.

How will you be spending Christmas?
Opening presents with Nate and Pepper.

Did you fall in love in 2021?
I fell in love with our new kitty.

How many one-night stands?
ZERO

What was your favourite TV program?
Chicago Med is my current crack.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.

What was the best book you read?
I’m going to blog about this soon!

What was your greatest musical discovery?
I’m going to blog about this soon, too!

What was your favourite film of this year?
Did I even watch any movies? Haha.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 33. I don’t remember what I did. Probably nothing.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
Jazzy would still be here.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2021?
Still as bad as usual.

What kept you sane?
I reiterate: sanity wasn’t a thing this year.

Which celebrity/public figure(s) did you fancy the most?
L E I B N I Z

Who did you miss?
My mom.

Who was the best new person you met?
No one. People suck.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2021:
Don’t think you’re immune to vaccine side effects if you had none after your first COVID shot. THEY WILL COME FOR YOU

TASTY SHIT RIGHT HURRRR

Appetizer
When you drink soda/pop/coke, do you prefer to drink it from the bottle, a can, or after pouring it into a cup?
I don’t drink soda/pop/coke. But when I have Red Bull, which comes in a can (duh), I drink it out of the can with a straw. ‘Cause I’m a classy bitch.

Soup
What television show are you willing to stay up late to watch?
Bro, I stay up late anyway. I could watch any show at any time and not inconvenience my sleeping schedule. But back in high school, when the Discovery Health Channel started showing episodes of Chicago Hope and I got hooked on it, they moved the episodes to like 2 AM during my senior year and I would always stay up late on Friday nights to watch. 2 AM was a struggle (now it’s like when I start making dinner), so that was the only show I was willing to stay up for.

Salad
Name one person, place, or thing you think of as brilliant.
…do you really need to ask me that? Does anyone reading this NOT know what my answer would be?
Gottfried. Wilhelm. Leibniz. One of the smartest people that has ever lived. Fight me.

Main Course
Would you be willing to work 4 10-hour days instead of 5 8-hour days in order to save gas?
I don’t drive and thus don’t need gas, but YES. I’d prefer that, actually.

Dessert
If you were a superhero, what would you call yourself?
I was “Spectrum” back in the house, but I was a supervillain, not a superhero. My superhero was “Dr. Calculus.” Yes, we had superhero/supervillain names in the house. I mean, what would you expect?

Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? Salt and vinegar.

Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? I don’t really care for them, but I guess they’re okay in a super formal setting. Ties are better.

What are your thoughts on mini-skirts or mini-dresses? I don’t think I’d ever wear them, but I don’t have much of an opinion otherwise.

Have you ever died in one of your dreams? Ha, dying would be a cop-out. My dreams focus on the horrific stuff before the dying happens.

Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? Fruity I guess?

Quick! The first professional sports player you can think of: Max Scherzer!

Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? I don’t think I ever did.

What colors look best with navy blue in your opinion? Yellow.

What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? No idea. I try not to think of babies.

Is it a turn-off if somebody’s teeth are stained yellow? Bah. I don’t really care.

Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? I don’t have any friends.

Plaid, polka-dots, stripes, or stars: pick three. Stars, polka-dots, and stripes, in that order.

Do you know any quotes from Forrest Gump? I can probably recite like 70% of that movie because that’s the kind of stuff my brain holds on to.

Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? Not really.

What appliance in your kitchen do you use the most often? Fridge.

What cabinet or closet in your house do you rarely open? The one with all the boxes in it. Too many boxes.

What was the mascot at your elementary school? I think we were the St. Mary’s Lions, but I don’t think we really had a mascot.

What is the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever been to? Was it good? Probably NOtaBLE, which we went to during my interview for the University of Calgary. Fancy shmancy.

Have you ever fallen down in public? Did anybody see you? I remember one spring I was walking with Nate along the river path. It was still cold enough that there were a few VERY SMALL icy patches on the path, but they were all easily avoidable. There was a tiny one on the edge of the path and for whatever reason I was like “I’mma stomp on this ice!” and I did and I completely bit it right in front of this lady walking the other way. Smooth.

Do you scream when you go on rollercoasters? Do you close your eyes? It has been a LONG time since I’ve been on a rollercoaster. I scream because that’s part of the experience.

Do you think home-made cards are better than store bought ones? Doesn’t matter to me.

What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? “Titanic,” I guess, though I’ve always liked it because of the soundtrack and the sinking. I remember when it first came out all my friends were like “JACK + ROSE 4EVER!” and I was like “moar ship destruction, plz.”

Name three countries you want to visit: Why those three? Antarctica (I’ve always wanted to go there), Germany (LEIBNIZ MUSEUM BITCHES), Sweden (I’ve been there before and I really liked it)

Blah.

1. Think back to the last time (or a time) when you were in a fight with someone and just blurted out exactly what was on your mind. Did you somewhat regret saying what you said? What happened? 
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a fight that serious with someone. I can’t even remember.

2. Towards the end of your last relationship, how did you know it was over? How did you and your significant other change towards each other? (ex. not calling each other babe, baby, etc.) 
Hmm. My last relationship ended 100% mutually (I was moving to Canada and we didn’t see a reason to go long distance with things), so we both sort of just fell out of all the romantic “relationship” stuff slowly as our breakup day approached. Everything about the whole thing was amicable, though, which is way more than what can be said about my other two relationships.

3. Have you ever had a significant other NOT believe you when you said “i love you” to them? Why was that? How did you react? 
I don’t think so.

4. When was the last time you had a hard time telling someone exactly how you felt? Did they understand where you were coming from? 
I had trouble with Rob, but I don’t think the trouble was on my end. Though I guess I could have been more assertive from the start in telling him that it was over. I tried the “let him down easy” approach and that just resulted in – surprise! – another round of getting stalked. So I was finally like “bro go away I don’t like you” and that didn’t really work either.
Le sigh.

5. Do opposites really attract? Have you ever experienced this? Explain: 
I’ve never really gone out with an “opposite,” so I can’t say.

6. Has anyone close to you ever drifted away because they started hanging out with a new crowd? Did you try talking to them about it? What eventually happened? 
WELCOME TO MY CHILDHOOD

8. When did you last not feel accepted? Why did you feel that way? 
I don’t feel like I really fit in with the other people at work, but that’s probably (?) just my imagination. Hopefully.

9. When did you last turn to drinking to ‘escape’ from your problems? What caused you to do that? 
I don’t drink. I have plenty of other self-destructive habits instead, thank you very much.

10. Has anyone had to take your drink from you because you drank too much? How did you react? 
See above.

12. Have you ever felt like it was just pointless to cry? Did you hold yourself back from crying or did you let it out? 
I cry all the time. It’s never pointless to me because it’s the only way I know how to emote half the time.

14. Do you prefer the city or country more? Why? 
City. I like being near…things. Like, I don’t think I could live in a small town again.

15. Have you ever felt like something was so horrible that you just wanted it to be a dream? What was it? 
MY LIFE

16. Have you ever had a love/hate relationship with someone? Tell me about it: 
Hey, it’s Rob again! If you’ve known me long enough, you know all about this; if not, too bad, ‘cause I’m not going to go through it again.

17. When did you last turn to God with a problem? What was it? Did it help talking to him? 
Not religious.

It’s another survey, please be kind

1. How many cars have you ever owned?
Zero.

2. Can you do math in your head well?
Absolutely not. That is not a skill I possess.

3. What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house?
I hate hanging up my clothes after doing laundry. I’m okay with the actual laundry part, but I’d much prefer to just have all my clean clothes sit in a big pile than hang them up afterwards.

4. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip?
Plain? I don’t mind salt and vinegar, though.

5. Do you ever read the weather forecast?
Yup. Helps me know what to wear when walking/running outside.

6. Do amusement park rides make you sick?
They didn’t when I was a kid, but ever since I’ve had my appendix taken out (6th grade), I get REALLY motion sick.

7. Who is your favorite Star Wars character?
C-3P0, easily.

8. What kind of cheese do you put on your sandwiches?
Depends on the sandwich! I’m cool with Swiss cheese in most contexts, but if you try to make me a grilled cheese with Swiss, I’ll stab you in the toe. And my Subway sandwiches need that white cheese they have, whatever that is.

9. What radio station do you listen to the most?
I’ve been into C97.7 up here. It plays 80s music, mostly.

10.Who was the last person to give you a gift?
My mom!

11. How old were you when you got your driver’s license?
Sixteen, maybe? I know I could drive during my senior year.

12. What was the first thing you ever learned how to cook?
Probably spaghetti or something like that.

13. Did you ever collect beanie babies?
OH MY GOD YES. I had tag shields and display boxes and magazines and everything.

14. When was the last time you got a haircut?
Right before Covid hit up here, haha. Mid-February 2020.

15. Have you ever been to a bachelor/bachelorette party?
Nope.

16. How many people can you say you TRULY love?
Like four.

17. Where are you most ticklish on your body?
DON’T TOUCH ME

18. Do you like kids?
I do not like kids. Never have, even as a kid, haha.

19. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Nope.

20. Is your next birthday coming up soon?
It’s several months out, still.

21. Have you ever bailed anyone out of jail?
No.

22. What’s the last board game you played?
Probably that Marvel card game Nate has.

23. Have you ever given someone a fake phone number?
Yes.

24. Do you actually eat 3 meals a day?
HA. No.

25. Do you have any bumper stickers on your car?
I don’t have a car.

26. Do you leave good tips when you eat out at restaurants?
I try to do at least 20%.

27. What’s your favorite thing to eat at bbqs?
Something plain, haha. If someone’s grilling up just regular hot dogs, I’d be good with that.

28. Do you still own any VHS tapes?
Yes, actually!

29. How many of your friends have you known for at least 5 years?
I don’t have any friends.

30. Are you superstitious?
To a degree, yes.

31. What was your favorite book as a child?
As a small child, it was definitely Dr. Seuss’ “A Fly Went By.”

32. Have you lied to anyone in the last 24 hours?
Yes.

33. What’s the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever eaten at?
Probably NOtaBLE.

34. How many jobs have you had?
Five?

35. Are you keeping a secret from anyone right now?
Yes.

36. What’s the smallest town you’ve ever visited?
Visited? I have no idea. Viola’s pretty small, isn’t it?

37. If there was a real Jurassic Park, would you visit it?
Probably not.

38. Have you ever gone golfing?
Just mini golf. I suck at it.

39. What’s your favorite kind of soup?
I’m not much of a soup person. Just regular chicken noodle.

40. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
I can’t remember.

41. Do you know any sign language?
I can finger spell!

42. If you became famous for something, what would it be?
I’d like it to be for writing or teaching stats, but it would probably be something dumb that got caught on video.

43. How many friends do you have that are married?
I think most of my old friends are married.

44. Do you ever read the newspaper?
I can’t remember the last time I even held a newspaper.

45. When you’re having a bad day, how do you make yourself feel better?
I don’t. I brood.

46. Do you still have your wisdom teeth?
Nope.

47. Did you have a swing set in your yard when you were a child?
Yes!

48. Have you ever played poker for money?
Nope.

49. You’re making a fruit salad: what kinds of fruit do you put in it?
Fruit salad sounds horrible.

51. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?
Outbreak.

52. Do you eat your mac & cheese with a fork or a spoon?
FORK

53. Where did you have your first kiss?
At a drag show, haha.

54. When you were a kid, were you ever afraid of cooties?
Nope.

55. Do you ever go Christmas caroling in December?
No, surprisingly.

Horror-themed thingy ‘cause we’re in the horror-themed month WHATEVER WHO CARES

halloween: how would you deal with a home invasion? could you defend yourself?
As long as they don’t hurt Nate or Pepper, they can do whatever they want to me.

nightmare on elm street: do you have bad dreams? what’s your worst nightmare?
LIFE IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE
The frequency of nightmares is finally starting to go back down after spiking due to COVID-related panic. I still get some pretty graphic/terrifying ones, but they’re not nearly as frequent as they were there for a while. Nothing beats this one for how real and absolutely terrifying it felt.

child’s play: thoughts on dolls? do you collect anything?
Dolls don’t creep me out or anything, if we’re keeping with the theme here. I collect a lot of things, but not dolls.

friday the 13th: did you ever go to summer camp? did you enjoy it?
I never went to generic “summer camp” but I did go to camp in the summer if that counts, haha. I did Art Camp A LOT (and loved it), I did Sports Camp a few times (and complained about it), and I think I even did Bible Camp through St. Mary’s a few times too.

fright night: how easily do you fall in love?
Not very.

dracula: if you were a supernatural being, what would be your weakness?
Probably something stupid, haha. Like those aliens in “Signs” who have water as a weakness and then GO TO EARTH, A PLANET FULL OF WATER

a quiet place: have you ever made up your own language?
Not my own full language, but the coos had their own words and terms for certain things.

get out: what’s the most uncomfortable situation you’ve ever been in?
I haven’t been in too many, surprisingly. Probably that time when Rob and I went to his house (which he still shared with his ex) while said ex wasn’t there. He and I were just hanging out in his room but I left my purse on the sofa in the living room. Ex came home, saw the purse, and basically ran away. We had to spend the next six hours driving around the city (in my car) searching for her. NOPE NOPE NEVER AGAIN.

hereditary: do you have any ticks? can you control them?
No comment.

saw: what’s your biggest sin? is it redeemable?
I’m not telling! It’s one that I’m definitely not proud of, but the karmic forces of the universe have made sure I’ve paid for it.

it: thoughts on clowns?
I DO COCAINE!
(Metalocalypse reference)

train to busan: thoughts on public transport? how do you usually get about?
Public transportation is great! I used to ride the bus quite a bit here, but I actually haven’t been on a bus since COVID.

insidious: have you inherited anything from your parents? do you have a close relationship with them?
I haven’t inherited anything from them other than some physical/personality characteristics, haha. I have a great relationship with my mom and a good one with my dad.

sinister: is there a recording of you that you want to erase?
Probably.

silence of the lambs: is there anyone you envy? what would you change about yourself?
Man, don’t even get me started. There are SO MANY THINGS I would change.

paranormal activity: have you ever had an experience with ‘things that go bump in the night’?
Just that thing at Idler’s Rest that wanted to kill Rob and me. But I don’t think that was paranormal; I think that was a real person out there.

the shining: how’s your concentration? do you put your self into projects?
If I’m into something, I am INTO IT. My concentration can be really great. I can care 1000% if it’s something that matters to me.

carrie: how was high school for you? did you go to prom?
High school was…meh. 10th and 11th grade were really rough, but 12th grade was good. I did go to prom.

the exorcist: what are your thoughts on religion? do you follow one?
To each their own. I am not religious.

psycho: do you enjoy staying at hotels? any weird stories?
I LOVE staying at hotels, especially alone (though this has happened like once). I don’t have any super fun stories really, but I do remember that we used to rent a poolside room at the University Inn in Moscow for birthday parties when I was younger. Super fun!

nosferatu: what do you fear most?
The future. I think the world is screwed and will be screwed faster than most people think.

28 days later: what would you do if you woke up and there was nobody there?
Like…nobody at all in the whole world? I’d probably enjoy it for a bit because I’d FINALLY have some time to myself, haha, but then it would get pretty lonely.

scream: are you any good at solving problems? could you solve a crime?
I do not have a detective’s perspective. I am the least observant person ever, so I would be terrible at solving crimes.

poltergeist: do you watch television? what’s your favourite show?
We don’t currently have cable (just the six(?) basic channels), but I do like having the TV on in the background when I can. My favorite show is still Chicago Hope.

frankenstein: have you ever felt rejected by your peers? do you think you ‘fit in’ with other people?
Man, I have STORIES. I was the coolest of the cool in first grade because I was the co-founder of a game called “coos.” Everyone played it. Then coos started to become unpopular and so did I. Then I was kind of the “weird kid” after that.

night of the living dead: if you could, would you bring people back from the dead? who?
L E I B N I Z. Like…who else, really?

the omen: how do you feel about children? would you want any of your own?
I hate kids.

split: is there more than one side to you? do you hide parts of yourself from people?
I hide many things, yes.

pan’s labyrinth: do you have any siblings? are you the favourite?
No sibbies.

evil dead: have you ever woken something sinister?
I…don’t know?

the babadook: have you ever felt like you were being watched?
Every once and a while.

bird box: what would you do if you went blind? could you cope?
I’d have a really hard time. I’m sure I’d adapt, but it would be really, really difficult. How would I do my walks? How would I draw? Teach?

cabin in the woods: where do you spend your holidays? do your friends go with you?
I just go back to Moscow,  haha.

the purge: if all crime were legal for one night, what would you do?
JAYWALK THE SHIT OUT OF THINGS

LEAST OF ALL ME, SO LET’S GO

1. Most unflattering hairstyle you ever had? What made it so unflattering?
Every hairstyle I have is unflattering. I’m not an “easy to flatter” person. Though that one time in high school where I cut my bangs way too short but was too stubborn to just wear my hair differently was pretty bad.

2. Favorite movie(s) that were made in the 90’s?
Technically most of my favorite movies were made in the 90s. Mystery Men (1999), Apollo 13 (1995), Toy Story (1995), Armageddon (1998). So there.

3. Do you rent movies? If so, from where?
If I absolutely have to rent a movie, I’ll do it via YouTube. But I very VERY rarely rent movies. All movies I have ever watched live word-for-word in my head, so I don’t need more than that.

4. Do you like cookies better when they’re just out of the oven or after they’ve cooled?
It’s been a long time since I’ve had a cookie right out of the oven.

5. Do you still talk to the person who gave you your first kiss?
It’s been a while.

6. Did you go to pre-school? If so, what was the name of it?
I did! I don’t remember the name of it, but it was whatever childcare thing the U of I had for employees.

7. How do you take your coffee?
I take it and chuck it at the moon. Coffee is gross.

8. Do you like fuzzy things?
Sure.

9. Favorite kind of chocolate?
Milk chocolate, preferably with something in it (peanuts, wafer, peanut butter, etc.)

10. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic?
Pessimism is the way to go.

11. What about peopleofwalmart.com? Do you think the site is mean, funny, or both?
I actually don’t think I’ve ever visited it. I’ve seen pictures from it, though. People should leave other people alone.

12. Do you like fat sandwiches? If so, what does your favorite one have on it?
The hell is a “fat sandwich?” That sounds like a cat name.

13. One restaurant you’d never been to but would like to go to?
I am 0% an adventurous person when it comes to new foods, so unless there’s a restaurant out there that specializes in making incredible mushy pasta and broccoli (like I do), I’m probably content with the restaurants I’ve visited before.

14. Last time you got a haircut? Do you need one?
I’ve been cutting my own hair since the start of the pandemic. It really needs to be seen by a professional, though.

15. What’s your favorite pattern for clothing (stripes, plaid, etc.)?
I don’t think I have a favorite. Is it gaudy? I’ll wear it.

16. What’s your age backwards?
33.

17. When you see typos in a survey, do you correct them?
Not usually, but sometimes.

18. When was your last vacation? Did you go someplace special?
Uhhhhhhhhhhh can’t remember. I guess I went back to Moscow in December 2019 before the world shut down and went to hell.

19. What’s your favorite kind of pancakes?
Plain with butter.

20. Do you like movies with computer graphics, like Avatar?
I don’t really care. 

21. Do you know how to sew?
HA NOPE.

22. Are you good at wrapping gifts?
I like to try to make them pretty and professional-looking.

23. Do you like flavored yogurt?
I don’t like yogurt period.

24. How old will you be in December of 2015?
Bruh. It’s 2021.

25. What’s the age difference between you and your siblings?
I don’t have any sibbies.

OH HO HO HO SURVEY TIME FOOLIOS

Excited? Don’t be.

1. have you ever been scared of your own backyard at nighttime?:
Just nervous because of the chance of skunks in my dad’s backyard. I can’t smell them and thus never knew if they were there until I was right in the backyard with them. Always exciting.

2. what is the image on your mouse pad?:
It’s just black.

3. have you ever gotten a real or fake (airbrush, stick-on, etc.) tattoo?:
I’m sure I’ve had many stick-on ones; I got an airbrushed one in Coeur d’Alene when I went with Shannyn and Amy back in 2007.

4. do you put vinegar on your french fries?:
Ew, no. Just salt. Salt all the way, boi.

5. have you ever eaten a burger made from bison/buffalo?:
Nope.

6. do you know anyone who owns dog kennels?:
Possibly?

7. name something that is the same color as your favorite color:
Uhhhhhhhhhh AN ORANGE LOLLOLOLOLLLOLOLOOOL

8. is there any damage currently on your house?:
Our condo building is old, so yeah, probably.

9. is there something that bothers you, that normally doesn’t bother people?:
I get irrationally irritated when people misquote shows/movies/etc. I don’t know if this is because I have a freakish memory for those types of things, but I have trouble understanding how someone can commit a quote to memory but only just enough to get it like 80% correct.

11. what kind of lights do you have in your living room?:
Uh, a little free-standing light with three bulbs on it.

12. do you think pomeranians are cute or ugly?:
Eh. As far as dogs go, they’re eh. As far as little dogs go, they’re pretty okay. Not a dog fan.

13. do you make sure to dust the tops of high furniture (entertainment centers, cabinets, etc.) when you’re cleaning?:
Yup.

14. if you’re going away for 2 days, do you pack a suitcase worth or a small bag worth of stuff to bring with you?:
I prefer just shoving everything into my backpack on a trip that short.

15. i am sick of hearing about twilight, michael jackson’s death, and reality shows. what are you sick of hearing about?:
Dated survey is dated.

16. have you graduated from high school?:
Hahahaha. A looooooooong time ago.

17. is there a specific college that you want to go to? what do you plan on studying?:
This survey is for young’uns. I wanted to go to University of Madison Wisconsin way back when. Or Fordham.

18. what’s worse: hitting a skunk with your car or having a dog shit in your favorite pair of shoes?:
I wouldn’t want to kill a skunk.

19. if you were attending prom, would you prefer a big cinderella-ish dress or a skin showing mini dress?:
YOUNG’UNS! If I had to go back and re-do my dress choice, I’d definitely go for a poofier Cinderella-esque one. I like that style.

20. is there a video game that you really like the music from? if so, which?:
I’ve never played it because it doesn’t run on my compy, but the music from Civ VI is FANTASTIC.

21. do you prefer crowds of people or being alone?:
ALONE

22. do you agree that smoking, doing drugs, and/or drinking makes you “cool”?:
Nope.

23. what is the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a significant other?
Oh god, I’m sure there have been many things. The worst though was probably the scene I  made at the airport when I was going to be away from Nate for the first time. I cried SO MUCH, hahahaha. That poor man.

24. which word do you consistently type incorrectly, even though you know the proper spelling?:
“Their.” I hate that word because I always naturally spell it “thier.”

25. do you find that your friends are typically older or younger than you are?:
I don’t have any friends.

26. how long was the longest time you’ve been single, not including before you began dating?:
Five years?

27. what is the oldest piece of furniture you have in your bedroom?:
No idea.

28. do you know anyone with a mental disability?:
Yup.

29. does your family have dishes that they only use for special occasions?:
I think so.

30. do you have any long distance phone numbers memorized?:
My mom’s!

When was the last time you went to the dentist? Did you have any work done? HAHAHAHA let’s not talk about the dentist for like another 10 years, please.

Open any social media site. Who’s the first person on your feed? Like, the first individual person? Marcus Stroman.

What’s the closest store to your house? Does the gas station convenience store count? If not, then maybe one of the stores down on Parkdale Avenue. Fair Play, maybe?

How much sleep per night do you usually get? SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS

Were you born in the state you now live in? I don’t even live in a state.

What’s your favorite type of cake? German chocolate cake is badass.

Do you like to go out to nightclubs? What would you usually wear? The only thing I’ve ever been to that resembles a nightclub are the drag shows. I’d either be in drag or wear that black corset thingy. Either way, plenty of inappropriate dancing occurred and it was great.

Have you ever been hit in the face? Like, punched? No.

Do you wear glasses? Indeed.

What do you think of the Jonas Brothers? I do not spend a lot of time thinking about them.

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Pessimism gets you through.

Who was the last person you argued or disagreed with? My mom.

Do you know how to cook? What’s your favorite thing to cook? I know how to cook a few things, yes. I don’t know if I have a favorite thing to cook as far as the cooking process goes, but my favorite thing to cook as far as nomming goes is my broccoli/penne thing.

Have you ever been on a plane for more than 10 hours? I think our flight to London was more than 10 hours, but I can’t remember. I was like 14 and spent the whole flight watching Finding Nemo on repeat.

What was the last thing you put in the trash? Broken spaghetti noodles.

Are you sitting down right now? Yeah.

Have you ever worked night shifts? Kinda. When I did that in-home patient care job back before I moved to Vancouver, I worked 40 hours a week but those 40 hours took place over about a 50-hour span on weekends. So yeah, I guess that counts as the night shift, haha.

How do you usually style your hair? I brush it. I ignore it.

Do you like to people-watch? Meh.

Is your fridge full or empty at the moment? There’s a decent amount of stuff in there.

What shoes do you wear to work? My Kinvaras. I wear them everywhere.

When was the last time you mopped a floor? When I cleaned the house a few months ago.

What’s your favorite type of juice? Apple.

What color looks best on you? I think I look good in warm tones like pink and orange and red.

Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? My dad.

Would you want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party before you get married? Already got married! My “bachelorette party” was me hanging out with my mom in the Best Western the night before I got married.
Do you have a skincare routine? What does it involve? I soap the bod. Wash it off. Done.

Have you ever had a professional massage?  I don’t like massages.

What was the last thing you baked in an oven? Uhhhhhhh…no idea.

How much cash do you have on your person right now? Like $5, haha. I don’t carry many coins with me anymore because of COVID.

Where do you like to shop for groceries? Safeway.

Who do you put down as an emergency contact and why? Either Nate or my mom.

What did you have for breakfast today? Nothing.

Do any household chores need to be done right now? Not anything pressing, no.

Have you ever played on a poker machine? Just a handheld little electronic poker game thingy.

What type of gas do you put in your car, if you have one? Don’t have a car.

When was the last time you smoked a cigarette, if ever? Never smoked.

Do you know how to roast a turkey? Hahaha, nope.

How do you feel right now? Sad. Discouraged. Ready to jump off the balcony. You know, the usual.

What do you like to put on your sandwiches? What type of sandwich? THIS IS IMPORTANT

Is there a train station close to where you live? There’s a C-Train station about a mile and a half from here in either direction (North Hill and campus).

Do you check the mail every day? Yup.

What was your first crush’s name? His little code name I use for him on here is Lead.

Can your name be shortened to become a nickname? “Claud” or “Claudie” I guess could be nicknames.

What was the last bill you paid? Phone?

A short survey for a short person.

1. What is your traditional zodiac sign?
Like, my western zodiac? I’m an Aquarius, yo.

2. How often, if ever, do you read your horoscope?
Never. I love the zodiac because I love anything that categorizes stuff, but I put zero stock in it as something that can be used to predict my life in any way. It’s just a fun little thing.

3. Check out the Geek Zodiak [sic]*: What is your birth year the year of?
Ugh, I’m an Undead. That includes Dracula, though, so I guess it’s cool.

4. Which of the merits listed do you think is most accurate to your personality?
Am I transcendental? Let’s go with that.

5. Which of the demerits listed do you think is most accurate to your personality?
“Difficulty connecting to humanity.”

6. Which single merit or demerit listed for your sign do you think is most inaccurate to your personality?
I’m not very soulful.

Life is meaningless, so who freaking cares anyway, right?

Salt & vinegar, barbecue, sour cream & onion, or cheddar? 
Salt and vinegar, baby! THE BURRRRRRRRN

Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? 
Meh. I don’t really have an opinion either way.

What are your thoughts on mini-skirts or mini-dresses? 
They’re…things? I look terrible in them, but most people look great in them.

Have you ever died in one of your dreams? 
LOLOLOLOLOL WELCOME TO MY REM PARTY, WANNA DIE WITH ME?

Name three things you hate having to buy for yourself: Why? 
Um…I like looking at clothes, but I hate having to try them on.
Makeup at stores that are any fancier than Walmart. I feel like I’m being judged on what I buy and I feel like the cashiers are thinking “no makeup can fix that amount of ugly, honey.”
Haircuts? I have to talk to someone and tell them what I want. Then I have to pretend that I like it.

Which is tastier: fruity gum or minty gum? 
I’ve never really liked mint.

Quick! The first professional sports player you can think of: 
Max Scherzer!

Be honest, have you ever bullied anybody? Who was it? 
I don’t think I’ve ever bullied anyone. I’m probably wrong, unfortunately, but I can’t recall any incidents.

What colors look best with navy blue in your opinion? 
Orange. Yellow. Brown.

What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear?  
Eh.

Is it a turn-off if somebody’s teeth are stained yellow? 
There are so many more important things about another person than the color of their teeth.

Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? 
I don’t have any friends.

Plaid, polka-dots, stripes, or stars: pick three. 
Stars, polka-dots, stripes, in that order.

Do you know any quotes from Forrest Gump? 
Apart from the obvious one? “Pray with me, Forrest. Pray with me.”

Do you believe in demonic possession? How about ghosts? Angels? 
I don’t believe in demonic possession or angels, but I believe in the idea of ghosts existing at least in some sort of form.

Would you rather judge a singing or dancing competition? Why? 
Singing, just because I know absolutely nothing about dance.

What appliance in your kitchen do you use the most often?
The microwave.

What cabinet or closet in your house do you rarely open? 
The one with all my old knee-high socks in them. I just wear my walking/running socks now.

What was the mascot at your elementary school? 
I think we were the St. Mary’s Lions, but our true mascot was OUR LORD AND SAVIOR

What is the most expensive restaurant you’ve ever been to? Was it good? 
Probably NoTAble when I was being interviewed for that limited term instructor position at U of C. It was really good.

Have you ever fallen down in public? Did anybody see you? 
I’ve bit it on the snow/ice a few times up here.

Do you scream when you go on rollercoasters? Do you close your eyes? 
It’s been a LONG TIME since I’ve been on a rollercoaster. Screaming is tradition, yo.

Do you think home-made cards are better than store bought ones? 
Don’t care either way.

What is one romantic movie that you enjoy enough to watch more than once? 
Does Titanic count? Though personally, I’m more about the sinking than the romance.

It’s been a while since I’ve done a survey, hasn’t it? I’m too lazy to check. As if it matters

100 Truths about me!

1. Real name: Claudia
2. Nickname: I don’t have one.
3. Birth order: THE ONE AND ONLY
4. Gender: Chicky-chick
5. Elementary school: St. Mary’s
6. Middle school: Moscow Junior High
7. High school: Moscow High School
8. College: UI, UBC, UWO (for like two weeks), U of C
9. Hair color: Black
10. Tall or short: I will STAB you
11. Sweats or jeans: Sweats
12. Phone or camera: My phone is my camera
13. Health freak: I wouldn’t say I’m a “freak” about it. I love exercising, though
14. Orange or apple: Apples. Citrus is the devil
15. Have a crush on someone: TEEHEE
16. Guy or girl friends: Neither, haha
17. Piercings: Ears. I used to have an industrial, but the holes closed like a day after I took the bar out
18. Pepsi or coke: Neither
19. Ever been in an airplane: Yup
20. Ever been in a relationship: Yup
21. Ever been in a car accident: We got blonked in Tucson that one time. And I got hit by a van while I was walking
22. Ever been in a fist fight: Nope
23. First piercing: Ears
24. Best Friend: I don’t have one
25. First award: Uhhhhhhhh I think I got an award in 2nd grade (or 3rd grade? 4th grade?) for running during our whole PE period. I did it because our PE teacher said that we would warm up by running around the field and once we stopped running we would play basketball. I did not want to play basketball, so I ran the whole time. I SURE SHOWED THEM
26. First crush: Lead
27. First word: Tick-tock
28. Any talent: Zero
29. Last person you talked to: Nate
30. Last person you texted: My mom
31. Last person you watched a movie with: Nate
32. Last thing you ate: A tortilla
33. Last movie/ TV show you watched: I can’t remember
34. Last song you listened to: Viva la Vida by the glorious Coldplay
35. Last thing you bought: Groceries
36. Last person you hugged: Nate
37. Favorite food: Broccoli/penne/feta
38. Drink: Water
39. Bottoms: Bottoms? Like…pants? Anything comfortable
40. Flower: Sunflowers are coolio
41. Animal: Jazzy! I miss her so much.
42. Color: Orange
43. Movie: Sunshine
44. Subject: STATS!

HAVE YOU EVER? (Put an X if yes)

45. [X] fallen in love with someone
46. [X] celebrated Halloween
47. [X] had your heart broken
48. [] went over minutes/texts on your phone
49. [X] had someone like you
50. [X] hated the way someone changed
51. [] got pregnant
52. [] had an abortion
53. [X] did something you regret
54. [X] broken a promise
55. [X] hid a secret
56. [X] pretended to be happy
57. [X] met someone who changed your life
58. [X] pretended to be sick
59. [X] left the country
60. [X] tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
61. [X] cried over the silliest thing
62. [X] ran a mile
63. [] gone to the beach with your best friend
64. [X] gotten into an argument with your friends
65. [X] disliked someone
66. [X]stayed single for two years since the first time you had a bf/gf or been single forever

CURRENTLY:

67. Eating: Nothing
68. Drinking: Nothing
69. Listening to: Nothing, haha
70. Sitting or laying: Sitting
71. Plans for today: Technically it’s 11:45 PM, so…not too many plans going on for the rest of today
72. Waiting for: Normalcy
73. Want kids: God, no
74. Want to get married: I AM married!
75. Want to travel: Just back to Moscow
76. Lips or eyes: Like…in a partner? Eyes
77. Shorter or taller: Don’t care
78. Younger or older: A little older is good
79. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
80. Trouble-maker or hesitant: Hesitant
81. Hook up or relationship: Relationship
82. Looks or personality: Personality

HAVE YOU EVER?

83. Lost glasses: Nope
84. Snuck out of the house: Nope
85. Held a gun/ knife in self defense: I held a big crowbar-like metal thing in defense against a very angry loose dog in Marana
86. Killed somebody: Haha, no
87. Broke someone’s heart: Maybe?
88. Been in love: Yes
89. Cried when someone died: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

90. Yourself: I suck
91. Miracles: Depends on what’s considered a “miracle”
92. Love at first sight: Yup
93. Heaven: Not in the traditional sense
94. Santa clause: No
95. Aliens: Sure
96. Ghosts/angels: Sure

TRUTHFULLY?

97. Is there one person you really want to be with right now: No
98. Do you know who your real friends are: I have no friends
99. Do you believe in God: Nope
100. Post as 100 Truths: FIGHT ME

What is a smell that you absolutely cannot stand? Smells are so afraid of me that they don’t even enter my nose.

When is the last time you felt adrenaline moving through your veins? Maybe when I saw those rafters being swept down the river a few weeks ago.

When is the last time you bought new shoes? What kind of shoes are they? Hahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KINVARA QUEEEEEEEEEEN 

Do you know anybody who snorts when they laugh? Who? 
I…don’t think so?

Have you ever been hit on by a stranger? Flattering or creepy? 
I had one guy stop me while I was walking in Vancouver once and said that I looked like a very intriguing person, but that’s about the extent of anyone ever hitting on me.

Do you remember the first Rated R movie you ever saw? What was it? 
I have absolutely no idea.

What is something good that happened to you last week? Something bad? 
Good: nothing. Bad: everything.

Are you afraid of any animals? 
Of animals that I would ever really have a chance of encountering, I’m not a big fan of dogs.

Do you put your elbows on the table when you eat? Do you think it’s rude? 
I don’t, but I don’t mind if other people do.

Have you ever gotten into a fight with somebody over the internet? 
Not anything serious, no.

Do you think that you listen to your head or your heart more? 
Head.

If your mom told you she was pregnant today would you freak out? 
I’d be more curious about how that would be physically possible.

You trust all of your friends completely, true or false? 
I don’t have any friends.

How many buttons are on the clothes you’re wearing right now? 
Zero!

If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? 
Probably like bright orange or lime green, ‘cause I’m still that kind of person.

What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? 
July 25, 2009. And I’m not telling you why.

Did you learn to read before, during, or after kindergarten? 
Before I think?

Has anybody ever thrown you a surprise party? 
I don’t think so.

Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? 
I’m too ugly.

What is the last thing you lost? 
My sanity.

Have you ever pretended to be sick to get out of something? 
A few times, yes.

Who is somebody you know who is spoiled rotten? 
Jazzy is, haha.

Would you rather visit Poland or Portugal? 
Portugal.

Have you ever seen somebody give birth? 
Nope.

You have 10 minutes to make dinner for two people, what do you make? 
Ten minutes? That’s not a lot of time! Uh…ramen? Haha.

Have you ever borrowed something and never gave it back? What was it? 
I totally snagged my mom’s vegetable chopper. And that strainer.

What is one thing you wish you understood about the opposite sex? 
Meh.

Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? 
Yup.

Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? 
I’m sure I have, but I can’t think of any specific examples.

PARTY TIME LET’S GO

What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen?
Earthlings.

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t?
I remember reading all that garbage my grandma was journaling about my mom and I back when I was in high school. That was some of the most hurtful stuff I’d ever read.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base?
I have no idea.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t?
Does Leibniz count? Haha. So many people don’t even know who he is and that’s super depressing. But if we’re talking about topics rather than people…I dunno. Vexillology? I like flags. Or the kilogram. How many people are interested in the kilogram, seriously?

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement?
I’d like it if there was a way to unlock my iPhone without having to use my fingerprint or activating the screen in a way that it asks me for my four-digit code thingy. If it’s -20 outside, I really don’t want to have to take my glove off to access my phone. That’s super nit-picky and I suspect the newer iPhones have a way to do this (that face unlock thingy?), but it’d be nice to have on the older versions as well.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should?
Climate change. Some people are worried about it, but not enough people are (or the “right” people aren’t). We’re going to be very screwed very soon and we’re running out of time to make our future bearable (if we even still can).

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis?
I’m always quoting Mystery Men, either aloud or in my head.
“Disco is NOT dead! Disco is LIFE!!!!” “
You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.”

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents?
Worse. We’ve screwed up the world.

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart?
Like anything from Brian Regan. I know almost all his routines by heart, haha. My mom and I quote him SO OFTEN.

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having?
“Erik Erikson” is pretty great (he was a German psychologist).

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money?
Any that legitimately help animals. Specifically cats if I had a choice.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now?
Well, because profiting off of nostalgia is the rage right now, EVERYTHING from my childhood is cool now.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first?
This is super lame, but I’d love to be able to immediately teleport back home from anywhere. That would make my life so much easier as far as walking/running goes, you know? Like…I could walk/run ANYWHERE and IMMEDIATELY be able to get back home when I was done. That would allow me to go so many more places and would also make things less stressful if I had to get back to teach or go to a meeting or something.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do?
Nothing. I’d leave them alone.

What goal do you think humanity is not focused enough on achieving?
Trying to reverse (or stop or at least slow) our destruction of the environment.

What problem are you currently grappling with?
Existence, man. Existence.

What game have you spent the most hours playing?
Either Half Life or Quake. It’s hard to say which one.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in?
Nate’s parents had this SUPER SOFT bed in the basement. It tried to eat you when you laid in it. I loved it.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked?
Physically? I’m not sure. Mentally? Probably that semester I had 25 credits.

What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it?
1:51 of the literal version of the music video for “Total Eclipse of the Heart”:

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation?
COLDPLAY. COLDPLAY COLDPLAY COLDPLAY.

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose?
Leibniz’ grave. That’s a monument, fight me.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been?
Oh man, there’s been a LOT of cold walks. Maybe that time I got superficial frostbite on my nose.
Or that time I had to stop in the public bathroom and just shiver uncontrollably for like 20 minutes before I could keep going.
Or that time I was sure that my toe fell off because it was so cold (I actually just had a rock in my shoe, but hey, my foot was THAT NUMB from cold and that rock SURE FELT LIKE A TOE).

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine?
For someone with anosmia, I sure as hell don’t pay enough attention to expiration dates. Unless it’s got visible mold or something, I don’t care.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought?
Probably everything I’ve bought during these pandemic times.

What’s the funniest comedy skit you’ve seen?
Again, anything by Brian Regan. Though I’d have to say his UPS routine is one of my favorites.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten?
Do handfuls of shredded cheese count? ‘Cause that’s happened.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to?
Surfing sounds pretty cool.

What was the last song you sang along to?
“Fix You” by Coldplay.

If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create?
LEIBNIZ MUSEUM

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up?
Let’s not go there, shall we?

Don’t like it? Go to hell.

How much of a 90s kid are you?
[] You used to watch Pokemon as a kid (Never the TV show, but I did drag my dad to the first movie. He was SO CONFUSED)
[X] You didn’t own a cell phone in 1st grade
[X] You had slap bracelets
[] You remember when “grunge” was in
[X] Beanie Babies were your obsession
[X] You remember who Aaliyah was
[X] You remember the day Princess Diana died
[] You used to watch Doug
[] You owned and played a Super Nintendo game system.
[] Three words– Salute Your Shorts. You watched this show.

Total so far: 5

[] You actually got scared watching Are You Afraid of the Dark
[] You can name 3 cast members from the original All That crew
[] You remember The Big Comfy Couch
[] You know the lyrics “Bangin on a trash can, drumming on a street light”
[] You know who said “A baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do”
[] Saved By The Bell and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air were always on when you were little
[X] Your hair used to be parted in the middle or you had bangs
[] Full House was one of your favorite shows
[X] You actually remember when Bill Clinton was president
[] You remember hearing about when Tupac died

Total so far: 7

[X] You witnessed a fight over Pokemon trading cards (bitch, I fought over Pokemon trading cards)
[X] All your friends and you played Barbies
[X] You read Goosebumps 
[] You owned a Skip-It toy 
[] You got up early on Saturday mornings just to watch cartoons
[] You’d beg your mom and dad to take you to Chuck E. Cheese
[X] You’d get a Happy Meal at McDonald’s just to get a Teenie Beanie
[X] Home Alone is a movie of your childhood
[X] You were a fan of Nsync/The Backstreet Boys
[] You had a big group of friends from your neighborhood and you all hung out together

Total so far: 13

[X] You watched The Lion King a bazillion times
[] You loved Britney Spears
[] You always used to say “talk to the hand”
[X] You listened to the Spice Girls as a kid
[X] You remember when DVDs weren’t around yet
[] You watched Beavis & Butthead
[] You knew that Kimberly, the pink Ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together
[] You know the Fresh Prince theme song
[X] You remember having dial up internet
[] You used to own a pair of those jelly shoes

Total so far: 17

[X] You still know the macarena dance
[X] You used to have Polly Pockets
[X] You recall the Ricky Martin songs like “Livin La Vida Loca” and “She Bangs”
[] In 1999 you actually considered the world could end in 2000
[X] You actually remember life without the internet
[X] You took a plastic lunchbox to school
[X] You owned a Tamagotchi
[] You still get the urge to say “not” after every sentence. not.
[X] You remember S Club 7
[X] You wore overalls

Final Total: 25

Multiply your total by two and that’s your percentage for how much of a 90s kid you are.

I’m 50% a 90s kid. Woo!

Keep in mind I only read “classics” *is snob* so who knows how much this is going to apply very well.

1. Favorite childhood book?
Early childhood: A Fly Went By
Regular childhood: Skinnybones

2. What are you reading right now?
I’m in between books right now, but I think I’m going to read Flowers for Algernon next.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
None.

4. Bad book habit?
When I check a book out from the library, I tend to keep it for like five years. I don’t know what my issue is with returning books on time, but MAN IS IT SURE AN ISSUE

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
None. 

6. Do you have an e-reader?
I just got a Kindle last year and I love it.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
One at a time.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
Nopers.

9. Least favourite book you read this year (so far)?
The Trial was fairly tedious, but it was meant to be, so…

10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
I really enjoyed Dracula. And Walden.

11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
Uh, whenever I hit a book that’s not in my comfort zone on my list?

12. What is your reading comfort zone?
My list is pretty broad as far as “classics” go, I would like to think.

13. Can you read on the bus?
I had trained myself to be able to do this in Vancouver because I was NOT going to take an hour-long bus ride home without being able to read during it. But now I’ve lost that ability and can barely sit still on the bus and not puke.

14. Favorite place to read?
While treadmilling.

15. What is your policy on book lending?
As long as you don’t eat it, go for it.

16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
Nope.

17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
Not in fiction, no. But my textbooks/nonfiction have writing EVERYWHERE

18. Not even with text books?
See above.

19. What is your favourite language to read in?
I ‘Murican. I English.

20. What makes you love a book?
Engaging characters. A climax that really ties the whole book together.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
I have to really really like it.

22. Favorite genre?
Classics.

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did)?
Meh.

24. Favourite biography?
Leibniz: An Intellectual Biography.

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
I had to read one for a psych independent study course, but I can’t remember what it was.

26. Favourite cookbook?
Don’t have one.

27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
Probably Walden.

28. Favorite reading snack?
Nothing. I’m usually exercising while reading nowadays.

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.
Freaking To Kill a Mockingbird. Everyone was like OMG SO GOOD and I was like OMG WHAT DRUGS ARE YOU ON THIS ISN’T THAT GREAT

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
I have trouble giving negative reviews about ANYTHING, so.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you chose?
Latin. Does that count? If not, French.

33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
War and Peace. Though that may have been because I was a dumb 12-year-old when I read it and I mainly read it to impress a dude.

34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
James Joyce’s Ulysses. I’m scared.

35. Favorite Poet?
I’m not really a poetry person.

36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
Usually two or three if I’ve got any.

37. How often have you returned books to the library unread?
Rarely.

38. Favorite fictional character?
Either Captain Queeg or Phileas Fogg. But probably Queeg.

39. Favourite fictional villain?
I’m not sure. Does Queeg count as a “villain?” I would say not really.

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation?
I would bring whatever I’m currently reading.

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading.
Years. It was bad.

42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
I could NOT get through The Grapes of Wrath, but I was pretty young when I tried to read it.

43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
People talking.

44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
I’m not sure, actually.

45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
Can’t think of one.

46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?
Quite a bit, haha.

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
I read the first paragraph.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
Nowadays I don’t stop in the middle no matter how much I dislike it.

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
My (physical) books are in disarray right now, but I usually like to order them by height ‘cause I’m a weird bugger. Seriously, who organizes their books that way?

50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
Keep. 

51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
Not particularly.

52. Name a book that made you angry.
To Kill a Mockingbird. I’ve just had to read it so many times and it’s just not a book I enjoy.

53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?
I wasn’t expecting to like Dracula nearly as much as I did.

54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?
I liked Kaftka’s Metamorphosis so I figured I’d like The Trial. Nope.

55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
Re-reading The Caine Mutiny. I just…that book is my jam.

And by “that time of year” I mean “just another random Thursday” because I just throw one of these surveys in this crap hole of a blog whenever I can’t come up with anything else to say.

WHO CARES LET’S GO

0- What’s something that you don’t have, but wish you did?
Talent. Intelligence. Not looking like a deformed piece of trash. Y’know, all that fun stuff.

1- If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?
God, like ALL of it.

2- Do you have a significant other?
Yup!

3- Have you ever had a threesome?
Hahaha. Nope.

4- When’s the last time you watched American football?
Uhhhh…I watched some with my mom back in like 2019 or something.

5- What is your favorite boy band?
‘NSync. Fight me, Backstreet Boys fans.

6- What’s the last game you used dice for?
Yahtzee on the iPad. If that counts.

7- Do you believe in Heaven, and if so, do you think you’re going there?
I don’t believe in heaven.

8- Do you have an infinity tattoo?
Nope. No tattoos, unfortunately.

9- What is your favorite Beatles song?
Help! is good.

10- Are you interested in surfing at all? Have you ever been?
Surfing sounds terrifying, but also is totally something I’d try.

A- What was your best subject in school?
Like, high school? I gave zero shits, so I wasn’t really good in anything, haha. Drama, maybe?

B- Do you enjoy Beyoncé’s music?
Sure.

C- When was the last time you went overseas?
Whenever the heck that was I went to London, Stockholm, and Helsinki with my dad and grandma. I want to say that was 2003.

D- Who did you last hook up with?
No one!

E- What’s the hardest drug you’ve done?
No drugs.

F- Name three things you are not good at:
1) Finding my way around/directions; 2) not being angry all the time; 3) everything else.

G- Do you use the metric system in the country you live in?
Unfortunately. The only good thing about the metric system is my hot pal the kilogram. Everything else is *fart noises*

H- What brand of bottled water do you prefer?
Don’t care.

I- How would you describe yourself to someone who didn’t know you?
I’d just tell them to run. I’m horrible.

J- What is your favorite type of bird?
Owls are coolio.

K- What does the last text message you sent say?
“Hahaha.”

L- Have you ever been to Chicago?
My mom and I just skirted around it while driving to London, ON.

M- What is your favorite chocolate candy?
It used to be M&Ms, but I can’t have them anymore because anything harder than mushy pasta hurts my teeth. So now I just suck on Reese’s mini peanut butter cups until they dissolve.

N- Have you ever been called a racial slur?
Nope.

P- Do you need to use the restroom right now?
Nope.

Q- Why did you last stand in line?
I don’t remember. I haven’t been around enough people to need to be in a line in a long time. OH WAIT, was it when I stood in the Best Buy queue to get my tablet back in May? It might have been. Haha, wow.

R- What is your favorite pirate movie?
I don’t have one.

S- Have you ever watched Gossip Girl?
Nope.

T- How do you take your tea?
Hot and green. Like my men.

U- Who is the last person you said, “I love you,” to?
My mom.

V- What is your favorite character from Orange Is the New Black?
I’ve never seen it.

W- Who is the worst United States President in your opinion?
HAHAHA DO YOU EVEN NEED TO ASK? Andrew Jackson looks like Mother Teresa now compared to Trumpster Dumpster.

X- What’s your favorite superhero?
I don’t know if I have a favorite, but I always liked the Human Torch from Fantastic Four when I was a kid. The cartoon was always on Cartoon Network in the mornings and I thought he was neat.

Y- Why did you last cry?
Because I’m me and I’m worthless.

Z- How much sleep did you get last night?
SLEEP IS FOR MORTALS

Medical
How many surgeries have you had? Two, I think (appendectomy, wisdom teeth removal)
Do you have a doctor that you see regularly? HAHAHA NOPE DOCTORS SUCK
Do you have health insurance? Yes?
What are some medical issues you’re currently dealing with? Nothing serious, no.
Why did you last take pain medication? Weather headache. They happen a lot up here.

Biological
What physical traits have you inherited from your father? Pretty much everything.
How about your mother? The shape of my fingers. That’s basically it, haha. I look a lot more like my dad than my mom.
Do you have any children? God no.
What personality traits do you wish your children would inherit from you? I am not going to have children.

Geographical
Where are you, right now? Calgary.
What country were you born in? ‘Murica.
Where were you raised for most of your life? Idaho
What parts of the world are your ancestors from? Germany, the Czech Republic, Mexico, the Basque region.
What’s the closest major city to your hometown? Does Spokane count as a major city?

Zoological
What is your favorite animal? Cats!
Do you have any pets, and if so, what kind and what are their names? Jazzy is our sweet little kitty. She’s the best girl ever.
Have you ever had a strange pet, outside of the normal animals people keep? My dad and I had some giant millipedes when I was younger.
When was the last time you went to the zoo? June 2019 with my mom and Nate.
What’s the last wild animal you’ve seen in person? Does a magpie count as a wild animal? ‘Cause they’re EVERYWHERE up here.

Psychological
Do you take anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds? Nope.
When is the last time you saw a therapist or psychologist? In Vancouver.
What do you tend to think about the most, throughout the day? I have about ten different fantasy lives that I cycle through depending on how I’m feeling. I’ve also been spending a lot of time thinking about my story recently, ‘cause I want to actually finish it.
Would you consider yourself paranoid or delusional? Neither.

Astrological
Do you believe in astrology? I think it’s fun.
What is your star sign? Aquarius.
When’s the last time you read a horoscope and it actually came true? No idea.
What are your best friends’ signs? Aquarius and Virgo.
Do you think people act differently when there’s a full moon? Well, *I* was born under a full moon, so…

Physical
Would you consider yourself to be in shape? Eh.
When’s the last time you went for a walk or went jogging? Today!
What is your favorite work out? Walking. Running. Both.
Do you play any sports? Nope.

Environmental
Do you recycle? Yup.
Do you drive an electric car? I don’t drive.
What are your opinions on global warming? It’s real and we’re fucked.
Does your country use solar energy or wind power at all? Yup.
What do you do to make the world around you more environmentally friendly? I try to recycle. I try not to use too much water.

The year is almost over. I’d be more excited about that if all the chaos and death and awfulness that started in 2020 actually ended with the year. But it won’t; it’ll drag into 2021 (and probably beyond) for who knows how long.

But hey, let’s do that end-of-year survey anyway just to reminisce about exactly how bad everything was!

What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?
Wear a mask in public?
Quarantine?
Fear for the lives of all my family and friends in the States?
I could go on.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
There will soon be a blog post regarding this!

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, at least one person.

Did anyone close to you die?
I don’t think so. My friends and family have been surprisingly untouched by COVID (as far as I know) and there have been no deaths due to it. Or to anything else.

What countries did you visit?
None. The land border has been closed for most of the year.

What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020?
BITCH DON’T GET ME STARTED

What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
In this hellish year where all the days blend together into one mass of FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK?
The day of the US election, I guess. And yes, I know it took dayS this year, but the day itself was pretty memorable for how freaking close the votes were. COME ON, PEOPLE

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Tenure-track!

What was your biggest failure?
Existing.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, surprisingly.

What was the best thing you bought?
Uhhhhhhhh either the treadmill, Kondle, or my sunglasses (though I think technically I bought those last year)

Where did most of your money go?
Dental work.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Absolutely nothing. Absolutely. Nothing.

What song will always remind you of 2020?
Blinding Lights by The Weeknd. It’s my pandemic song, yo.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Bought frivolous stuff. Stress shopping is apparently a thing I do, unfortunately.

How will you be spending Christmas?
Christmas was a few days ago. We opened presents on the 24th, so we didn’t really do anything special on Christmas itself.

Did you fall in love in 2020?
I stayed in love in 2020.

How many one-night stands?
Nada.

What was your favourite TV program?
I got back into Chicago Hope thanks to it being on YesTV for most of the year. PUT IT BACK, YESTV!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.

What was the best book you read?
A Prayer for Owen Meany was fantastic.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
There were a few good ones this year. I’ll probably blog about them on the 31st as is tradition.

What was your favourite film of this year?
Movies weren’t a thing this year.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32. I don’t remember what I did. That was pre-“COVID invades Canada” so I don’t remember it very well.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
HAHAHAHAHA NO PANDEMIC HAHAHAHAHA
Fuck this year.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020?
Working from home in no pants?

What kept you sane?
Sanity wasn’t a thing this year.

Which celebrity/public figure(s) did you fancy the most?
Leibniz. Always and forever.

Who did you miss?
My mom.

Who was the best new person you met?
I didn’t meet anyone new.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020:
Humans are idiots. I knew that already, but BOY HOWDY was it confirmed this year.

1. How has covid affected you?
Well, I haven’t gotten it and no one I’m super close to has gotten it either, so that’s good. But I haven’t been able to see my mom because the damn border’s been closed since March, my job is now online which I absolutely hate, my husband and I haven’t gotten to do any of our long summer walks because we’ve been terrified of public places/public transit, my own walks have been limited due to the same reasons, and I really miss going to malls. Not even shopping…just going in them. But on the positive side, I did really get into running this summer, which I probably wouldn’t have gotten an opportunity to do (at least to the same extent) if things were “normal.”

2. What is a comfort show of yours?
I’ve re-watched Riverdale a few times, not gonna lie. Horrible teen dramas are my jam.

3. Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in?
My past is on this blog. My past is this blog. So if anyone cares enough to discover my past, it’s out there for ya.

4. Favourite fast food joint?
Of the chain restaurants, it’s McDonald’s. No shame. Their fries are the best. Of “local” restaurants, Cougar Country. Or Mongolian BBQ, if that counts as fast food.

5. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason?
Nope. Unless you count fulfilling our part in a deterministic universe. But I don’t.

6. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of?
Gotten back into running.

7. Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions?
Haha, yeah.

8. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Ten years ago today was November 24, 2010. I was in my second year of grad school at UBC and hating it. I was also a few months into my new walking habit, though, so that was good.

9. Do you call out Karens when they’re harassing a cashier?
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been witness to someone being abusive to a cashier. But if I saw it, it’d like to think I’d say something, especially in today’s “put a mask on, you selfish asshole” world.

10. Animal crossing, yay or nay?
Never played it.

11. Why do you like to do surveys?
They’re fun.

12. Did you ever have a MySpace ?
Hahaha. That’s how this blog got started, yes.

13. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship?
Depends on the people. Depends on the relationship.

14. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no, would you create one? If yes what’s your content?
I have two YouTube channels. One is for teaching-related stuff, like supplementary lecture content or (more recently) recorded lectures. The other is my “personal” YouTube channel. It’s mostly stupid short videos that only I would care about, but I do have a Vine compilation vid on there that’s gotten like 15,000 views.

15. Are you a math person?
Not naturally, no. But that’s why I teach it – because I understand what it’s like to not be a math person, I understand the anxiety that causes, and I like to think I teach in a way that makes math understandable for people who get math anxiety.

16. What’s the worst thing someone has said to you?
Let’s not go there today.

17. Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad?
In fourth (?) grade, a new kid came to our elementary school. Our class had like 23 people so we were all pretty set in our friendships, and this new kid was a little awkward. I remember one day he dropped a whole bunch of books and papers and no one went to help him, so I did. We didn’t really become friends (and eventually he got assimilated and people started hanging with him), but that kind of counts, right?

18. Would you ever date someone online?
I kind of dated Nate through OK Cupid before we met in person, so…yes?

19. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone?
Yes. No.

20. When do you think things will be normal again?
I think there will be a “relative” normal in the next few years, but if we ever do go back to pre-pandemic normal, I don’t think that will happen for quite some time.

21. Do you watch anime?
Nope.

22. Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2020 is over?
Not get COVID?

23. How old did/do you turn this year?
32.

24. Do you like tiktok?
Eh. It’s no Vine.

25. Do you ever miss vine?
I do! Vines were great.

26. How are you doing, seriously?
Absolutely terribly, thanks for asking.

27. Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t?
Nah.

28. Do you make jokes to cope with your problems?
My life is a joke.

29. Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend?
I don’t think so.

30. Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar?
Yup.

31. Long or short surveys?
Medium!

32. If ur in school, are you doing it on zoom or in class?
I’m teaching, does that count? All the math/stats department classes are being done remotely this semester.

33. Would you ever have a pet rat?
Meh. Give me cats or give me death.

34. Favourite memory with your best friend?
Playing Rock Band for hours when we lived together. So much fun.

35. Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube?
Depends on what I’m doing. If I’m drawing, I like to watch longer videos, like documentaries or Achievement Hunter stuff. If I’m grading or writing up notes, I like to watch makeup reviews. I also like to just browse through and watch random music videos.

36. Are you allergic to anything serious?
Nope.

37. Dream job?
The one I’ve got now (with the addition of tenure).

38. Do you think dreams mean anything?
On a certain level, yes.

39. Fav clothing brand?
Whatever the hell fits. Most of my clothes come from Walmart, though, so whatever the Walmart brand is up here. George and g21.

40. Do you miss anyone?
I miss my mom. I hate that it will be at least half a year (probably longer) before I’ll be able to see her again.

I AM FEELING VERY SAD BUT ALSO VERY HYPER AND MUST INJECT SURVEYS INTO MY BLOODSTREAM TO LIVE BYE BYE FOLKS

Alabama: Do you like the movie Forrest Gump?
I do. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, though.

Alaska: Would you rather deal with 30 days of day or 30 days of night?
30 days of day. Get that darkness nonsense out of here, I’ll sleep when I’m DEAD
(I could actually sleep in any degree of sunlight, though, so that wouldn’t be an issue.)

Arizona: Can you handle heat well?
Not particularly, but I think I do better with it than with cold. At least it rarely gets super hot up here in Calgary.

Arkansas: What are your opinions on Bill Clinton?
Personal/relationship issues, but a good president overall.

California: Who is your favorite actor? Favorite actress?
My current favorite actor is Adam Arkin, because I’m still coming down off the high that was the short-lived run of Chicago Hope on YesTV up here and I absolutely love him in that. I don’t have a favorite actress.

Colorado: Do you smoke weed? What are your opinions on its legalization?
I don’t, and I think medical marijuana should be legalized. Don’t really care about recreational weed.
Also, FUN FACT: when I was a kid, my friends and I thought “smoking weed” meant literally smoking weeds, like the kind you’d find in your yard. So sometimes on the playground we’d go pick some weeds and roll them up and pretend to smoke them to be cool. D.A.R.E. clearly did nothing for us.

Connecticut: Have you ever had a school shooting at your school?
Nope. We were on lockdown once in junior high, but that was right after 9/11 and I think it was just to be super cautious about some sketchy dude wandering around the school parking lot. At U of C they found a bunch of guns stashed behind a ceiling tile, but no shootings or anything ever happened.

Delaware: Are you usually the first to do something, or are you more of a follower?
A bit of both.

Florida: Have you ever been to Disney World?
Nope. Disneyland was a frequent stop of mine when I went to visit my grandma and grandpa in California, though.

Georgia: Would you consider yourself a southern belle?
Hahahahahaha…no.

Hawaii: What would be paradise for you?
Being able to walk (and run) as much as I wanted to every day. Being able to continue to teach stats/math. Cats everywhere.

Idaho: What is your favorite way to eat a potato?
(Of course it’s a potato question)
Either French fries or mashed potatoes.

Illinois: Did you vote for President Obama (or would you have)?
I did. Twice!

Indiana: Do you like corn?
Eh. Corn on the cob is good. Cornbread is good. That’s about it.

Iowa: Are roses your favorite flower?
I don’t have a favorite flower.
(WHY DIDN’T THIS STATE GET THE CORN QUESTION)

Kansas: Do you like the Tin Man, Scarecrow or Cowardly Lion better?
I always liked the Tin Man. I’m like that kid in “A Christmas Story.”

Kentucky: Have you ever been to a horse race?
Nope. No desire to, either.

Louisiana: Have you ever celebrated Mardi Gras?
Not in any serious way, no.

Maine: Do you like lobster?
Crab is infinitely better. Lobster is chewy and weird-tasting.

Maryland: Have you ever been to Washington DC?
Yup! I went when I was in…9th grade? 10th grade? I don’t remember it very well, though, because I got some serious heat stroke while there.

Massachusetts: Are you smart enough to go to Harvard?
No idea. Never applied. Probably not.

Michigan: Have you ever swam in a lake?
Yup. Lake Coeur d’Alene. So…probably shouldn’t have done that. Heavy Metal City.

Minnesota: Have you seen Drop Dead Gorgeous?
Nope.

Mississippi: Do you follow college football?
Only the Vandals, and only loosely.

Missouri: Have you ever convinced someone to show you their private parts?
Probably. I WAS in marching band.

Montana: What is the greatest treasure you have ever found?
I found a $50 bill by a bus stop once?

Nebraska: Do you eat beef?
(Is Nebraska known for its beef?)
(Did the survey maker get to Nebraska and go “oh shit, we already used the corn question, what the hell else is in Nebraska? Cows? Probably cows.)
ANYWAY.
I don’t eat much meat in general, but beef is good.

Nevada: Are you good at card games?
Not particularly.

New Hampshire: What are your views on gay marriage?
Who freaking CARES, let a person get married to the person they love!

New Jersey: Do you watch The Jersey Shore?
No.

New Mexico: Would you consider yourself a hippie?
Not really.

New York: Have you ever been to New York City? Would you like to?
I’ve never been there. I’d like to go, but I’d also be absolutely terrified there, I think.

North Carolina: Are the Panthers your favorite football team?
Of the…three NFL teams I can name without Googling “NFL teams” or asking Nate or asking my mom, the Panthers are not one of them. So…no.

North Dakota: Have you seen Fargo?
Nope.

Ohio: Did you watch The Drew Carey Show?
I watched it occasionally with my dad when it was on. Cleveland rocks!

Oklahoma: What is your favorite musical?
The Music Man. That counts, right?

Oregon: Did you ever play the Oregon Trail game?
Hahaha, yes indeed. My sole mission every time I played was to acquire as much bacon as possible.

Pennsylvania: Do you watch It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia?
Yup!

Rhode Island: Who is the smallest person you know?
My friend Jade from high school. Or Nicole from elementary school.

South Carolina: Do you think Aziz Ansari is funny?
I only vaguely know who that is.

South Dakota: Who is more interesting: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt or Abraham Lincoln?
Teddy was pretty badass, but Jefferson seemed to be a very interesting person from the little I know about him.

Tennessee: Who is your favorite country singer?
I don’t listen to enough country music to have a favorite country singer.

Texas: Do you like barbecue or Tex-Mex better?
Neither.

Utah: Do you know anyone who is Mormon?
Yup! I know a few people who are Mormon, actually.

Vermont: Do you get the full autumnal colors in the fall where you live?
Yup.

[WHERE IS VIRGINIA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DID WEST VIRGINIA EAT IT?!?!?!?!?]

Washington: Do you like grunge?
No.

West Virginia: Do you like the mountains?
West Virginia is not a valid state.

Wisconsin: What’s your favorite kind of cheese?
Colby-Jack. No contest.

Wyoming: Do you love westerns?
Not particularly.

Have a survey.

1. Something someone told you about yourself that you never forgot
Back in 2010, I reconnected (online) with a friend I’d known in junior high after not seeing him or speaking to him since then. I remember him saying over instant messenger, “you never seemed very happy.” I thought I’d been pretty good at hiding that in junior high, but I guess not.

2. What are your 3 top pet peeves?
1) people who do not use sidewalks/pathways courteously; 2) people who lie for the sole purpose of getting attention/praise (I knew someone in college who did this relentlessly and nobody seemed to ever call her on it; it was infuriating; 3) company logos that change for the sole reason to look more “modern.” I don’t know if that counts as a pet peeve, but it sure upsets me to an irrational degree.

3. List five places you want to visit
Antarctica, Leibniz’ museum in Hanover, Moscow (I’m super homesick right now), Washington, D. C., Vancouver.

4. Share something you struggle with.
Anger. I am a very angry person and I’m not very good at handling it in a constructive manner. I do my best not to take it out on other people, but I definitely take it out on myself in less-than-constructive ways.

6. Something you always think “what if….?” about
I always think about how historical figures would react to today’s world. Not just Leibniz (but definitely him), but others. What would George Washington think of what the US is today, for example? What would da Vinci think of the technology we have today, especially with regards to flight? That kind of thing.

7. Five blessings in your life.
My mom, my husband, my kitty, the fact that I am physically healthy, the fact that I am employed in a (hopefully!) stable job.

8. Something that you miss.
I miss pre-pandemic normality. It’s hard to appreciate something like that until it gets taken away from you, but the pandemic definitely has taken it away from us all.

9. Post about your zodiac sign and whether or not it fits you.
From astrology-zodiac-signs.com: Aquarius-born are shy and quiet, but on the other hand they can be eccentric and energetic. However, in both cases, they are deep thinkers and highly intellectual people who love helping others. They are able to see without prejudice, on both sides, which makes them people who can easily solve problems.
Although they can easily adapt to the energy that surrounds them, Aquarius-born have a deep need to be some time alone and away from everything, in order to restore power. People born under the Aquarius sign, look at the world as a place full of possibilities.
Aquarius is an air sign, and as such, uses his mind at every opportunity. If there is no mental stimulation, they are bored and lack a motivation to achieve the best result.
I’d say I’m pretty shy, yes, and I definitely need my alone time. I like to believe I’m a “deep thinker,” but who actually knows. I do get bored and demotivated if I don’t have at least one project or goal to work towards.

11. Write about an area of your life that you’d like to improve.
All of it. I’m terrible at everything and everything needs improvement.

12. What made you laugh out loud today.
This thing, oh my god.

13. What are your goals for the next 30 days.
To not get COVID, to win NaNoWriMo, to survive the end of the semester (though I guess that’s beyond the next 30 days).

14. Your highs and lows for the month.
Highs: none
Lows: everything
I hate this pandemic and it’s really starting to mess with me.

15. Favorite movies that you never get tired of watching.
I could probably watch Mystery Men every day for the rest of my life and not get tired of it. I love Mystery Men. Same with Apollo 13 (two very different movies, haha).

16. Books you have read more than once.
I tend to read books only once unless I really like them. I’ve read The Caine Mutiny many times, as well as The Great Gatsby. Candide. Lolita.

17. Something about which you feel strongly.
I think the car-centric nature of most cities is very detrimental to people. It really bothers me how it’s basically expected that everyone has a vehicle or has access to a vehicle and a lot of places (in big cities especially) are only accessible via car. It’s not even “this place is 20 miles away from where you live, so it’s a long walk.” It’s “the only way you can get here is via a very busy road with no sidewalks.” That’s something that I think needs to change. I don’t know how, but it does.

18. Five things that make you really happy.
Leibniz, teaching math/stats, walking, good music, being unhealthily stuck in the past

19. What are you excited about?
Ugh, not much anymore. Not anything, currently. Like I said, the pandemic is really messing with me. I’m not even excited about my job right now because teaching online is balls.

20. Three celebrity crushes
Leibniz, Leibniz, Leibniz.

Let’s do a weird survey in honor of a weird year.

1. Can you cry under water?
If you’re sad enough you can.

2. What is the fattest thing you’ve ever done?
The…fattest thing? I used to eat entire packages of Chips Ahoy! cookies if that counts.

3. If you’re going to be arrested what do you want your crime to be?
Going off on someone not following COVID-prevention mandates. If I’m going to go down, I’m going to go down trying to prevent idiocy.

4. When they say dog food is “new and improved” who tastes it?
Me. ‘TIS MY SECRET JOB!!!1!

5. What’s the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen?
Myself.

6. Why doesn’t glue stick to its bottle?
Tacky while wet + wet in bottle = no stick!

7. What historical event do you wish you’d witnessed?
Anything with Leibniz. I would love to have just been able to sit in the room with him while he was working on his calculus or building his stepped reckoner. Like…how absolutely amazing would that be?

8. Who has had the best influence on your life?
My mom! She has always been a very kind, thoughtful, considerate person, and I hope some of that rubbed off on me as a kid.

9. Would you rather go into space or to Antarctica?
Antarctica. Definitely. Like, space is coolio, but y’all know I have a thing for Antarctica.

10. Would you rather sleep with no pillow or no blankets?
Well, I’m really good at sleeping ANYWHERE and ANY TIME, so I can do without both of these. But I’d pick no pillow I guess. I could always mush some of the blankets beneath my head to act as a pillow.

11. What’s your favorite rain memory?
Uh…I actually can’t think of any. The closest “favorite” I can come up with was that time when we spent the night in Ridenbaugh before going down to Boise with the marching band. There was some “partially naked running around in the rain” going on, if I recall correctly.

12. If you were elected president, what is the first thing you would do?
Probably freak out, haha. I would not want that responsibility. Also, my charisma = 0, so there’s no way I’d ever get elected.

13. If you had $3 to spend in the dollar store, what would you buy?
1) a bag of Bugles; 2) a candy; 3) those flexible glow stick things
(I’m having flashbacks to 2008/2009 when my roommates and I went to the Dollar Store every Friday and bought the most ridiculous and fun stuff. Good times.)

14. What’s the most annoying sound in the world?
Babies/kids crying. I cannot stand that sound. I know that sound is supposed to activate my “motherly” instincts but instead it activates my “how fast can I get away from this awful, awful noise?” instincts.

15. What natural disaster scares you the most?
Fire. There aren’t a lot of things that scare me, but fire is absolutely terrifying to me. Terrifying.