Swerve n’ Survey


What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen?

When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t?
I remember reading all that garbage my grandma was journaling about my mom and I back when I was in high school. That was some of the most hurtful stuff I’d ever read.

Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base?
I have no idea.

What are you interested in that most people aren’t?
Does Leibniz count? Haha. So many people don’t even know who he is and that’s super depressing. But if we’re talking about topics rather than people…I dunno. Vexillology? I like flags. Or the kilogram. How many people are interested in the kilogram, seriously?

What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement?
I’d like it if there was a way to unlock my iPhone without having to use my fingerprint or activating the screen in a way that it asks me for my four-digit code thingy. If it’s -20 outside, I really don’t want to have to take my glove off to access my phone. That’s super nit-picky and I suspect the newer iPhones have a way to do this (that face unlock thingy?), but it’d be nice to have on the older versions as well.

What’s something people don’t worry about but really should?
Climate change. Some people are worried about it, but not enough people are (or the “right” people aren’t). We’re going to be very screwed very soon and we’re running out of time to make our future bearable (if we even still can).

What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis?
I’m always quoting Mystery Men, either aloud or in my head.
Disco is NOT dead! Disco is LIFE!!!!” “
You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.”

Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents?
Worse. We’ve screwed up the world.

What’s the funniest joke you know by heart?
Like anything from Brian Regan. I know almost all his routines by heart, haha. My mom and I quote him SO OFTEN.

What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having?
“Erik Erikson” is pretty great (he was a German psychologist).

Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money?
Any that legitimately help animals. Specifically cats if I had a choice.

What was cool when you were young but isn’t cool now?
Well, because profiting off of nostalgia is the rage right now, EVERYTHING from my childhood is cool now.

If magic was real, what spell would you try to learn first?
This is super lame, but I’d love to be able to immediately teleport back home from anywhere. That would make my life so much easier as far as walking/running goes, you know? Like…I could walk/run ANYWHERE and IMMEDIATELY be able to get back home when I was done. That would allow me to go so many more places and would also make things less stressful if I had to get back to teach or go to a meeting or something.

If you were a ghost and could possess people, what would you make them do?
Nothing. I’d leave them alone.

What goal do you think humanity is not focused enough on achieving?
Trying to reverse (or stop or at least slow) our destruction of the environment.

What problem are you currently grappling with?
Existence, man. Existence.

What game have you spent the most hours playing?
Either Half Life or Quake. It’s hard to say which one.

What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in?
Nate’s parents had this SUPER SOFT bed in the basement. It tried to eat you when you laid in it. I loved it.

What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked?
Physically? I’m not sure. Mentally? Probably that semester I had 25 credits.

What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it?
1:51 of the literal version of the music video for “Total Eclipse of the Heart”:

What artist or band do you always recommend when someone asks for a music recommendation?

If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose?
Leibniz’ grave. That’s a monument, fight me.

What’s the coldest you’ve ever been?
Oh man, there’s been a LOT of cold walks. Maybe that time I got superficial frostbite on my nose.
Or that time I had to stop in the public bathroom and just shiver uncontrollably for like 20 minutes before I could keep going.
Or that time I was sure that my toe fell off because it was so cold (I actually just had a rock in my shoe, but hey, my foot was THAT NUMB from cold and that rock SURE FELT LIKE A TOE).

Do you eat food that’s past its expiration date if it still smells and looks fine?
For someone with anosmia, I sure as hell don’t pay enough attention to expiration dates. Unless it’s got visible mold or something, I don’t care.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought?
Probably everything I’ve bought during these pandemic times.

What’s the funniest comedy skit you’ve seen?
Again, anything by Brian Regan. Though I’d have to say his UPS routine is one of my favorites.

What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten?
Do handfuls of shredded cheese count? ‘Cause that’s happened.

What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to?
Surfing sounds pretty cool.

What was the last song you sang along to?
“Fix You” by Coldplay.

If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create?

Which of your vices or bad habits would be the hardest to give up?
Let’s not go there, shall we?

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