Seventh
You know what I miss? 7th grade. It was a fun time. I know none of you know (except for Aneel), but it rocked.
Haha, I remember messing around with Ross after school, and Jimmy, his son (who was a coat, I think) and Nell, Aneel’s puffy marshmallow coat. And then that whole thing with Ross throwing the snowballs at the white trash truck with the gun rack in the back. Man, that was hilarious.
Knowledge Bowl. Now THAT was fun. Me + Aneel + Ross = fail at every competition (mostly because we messed around and were always one person short of a full team) but hey—it was fun.
I miss it. It was not high school, and it was not catholic school.
Ah, the wonders of a camera phone…
So after losing and rediscovering my cell phone YET AGAIN, I decided to look through all the crap from high school I’d had saved on it. Here are some of the things I found:
~Aneel with barrettes in his hair
~E’raina’s butt (there were quite a lot of these…)
~Alan’s butt/crotch/him coming after me
~E’raina’s Ramen hair!
~Amy’s boobies
~E’raina and Amy gettin’ down dirty on the floor (with my encouragement)
~Hunter’s crotch
~A video of Amy and me dirty dancing in front of my physics classroom
~A video of me being chased by Amy and randomly stopping to strip (me stripping, not Amy, unfortunately)
~A video of Aneel’s glasses case and me stealing it from him
~A video of me groping Hunter
~A video of me grinding on Hunter
~A video of me grinding on Aneel (actually, there are about three of these)
~A video of Aneel drinking soda, him accusing me of wanting to cause harm to him, and me saying, “No, I don’t! I’m taking pictures of your crotch!”
I miss these days. It’s a wonder I never got detention/suspended/shot for this crap.
“…on paper?”
Haha, it’s time to mess with people! Here are snippits from several MSN messenger conversations I’ve had with some of my friends (mainly Aneel and E’raina) over the past year. They’re hilarious.
#1: in which we discuss a certain teacher and her husband:
E’raina: haha, her hubby came to the rink today and had a conversation with my boobs
Claudia: HAHA!
Aneel: yuck
E’raina: i almost cried
Claudia: I bet he’d like some firm ones for once
Claudia: :D
E’raina: haha
Aneel: ewe
E’raina: damn girl!
Claudia: Not that I look or anything…
E’raina: its hard to miss that
Aneel: haha yeah…
E’raina: its one of those “do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro”
E’raina: but with boobs
#2: in which we discuss the end of the year BBQ:
E’raina: too bad we don’t have friends with hot tubs
E’raina: or slip n slides
E’raina: or crack
Claudia: I have strippers hidden under my bed!
E’raina: I vote for Claudia’s house
E’raina: Hey C, do you ever have a day where you just want to whip Aneel with a piece of licorice?
#3: in which we discuss Aneel’s hotness:
Claudia: Don’t you think Aneel’s hot?
Claudia: I do
Aneel: o yeah it’s not a secret…lol
E’raina: damn right it isn’t
Aneel: I’m not the best kept secret
#4: in which I promote my website:
Claudia: www.geocities.com/antarctica_freak
Claudia: It is great
Claudia: Brilliant
Aneel: lol well you made it
Claudia: Therefore it is great
Claudia: Brilliant
Claudia: HAHA! I just opened my phone and got an eyeful of Alan crotch!
#5: in which we discuss (argue about) pasta for prom:
Claudia: I’ll bring pasta
Claudia: CLEAN pasta, Aneel
Aneel: why would it be dirty?
E’raina: teehee
Claudia: You were saying it was messy
Aneel: yeah pasta is
Claudia: Not all the time
E’raina: it can be
Claudia: But not all the time
Aneel: exactly
Aneel: but it can
Claudia: BUT NOT ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!!
Claudia: Gang up on me, why don’t ya?
E’raina: i love pasta
E’raina: i’m all about the pasta
Aneel: lol it’s ok I like it to sometimes
E’raina: I love it!
Claudia: …so pasta?
#6: in which Aneel and I discuss what we’re doing at the moment:
Claudia: Did you just say something?
Claudia: …Sharma?
Aneel: yeah whats up>?
Claudia: Government final :(
Claudia: You?
Aneel: I’m decorating my glasses case
Claudia: To make it more manly?
Claudia: Does he really count as a boy?
Claudia: He’s an…Aneel
Aneel (talking about his government final): do you think Hall would care if I did the whole research paper in landscape format?
#7: in which Aneel and I discuss the final government question:
Aneel: what creative thing did you do for a bill becoming a law?
Claudia: I just did a flowchart
Claudia: You haven’t done that yet?
Aneel: nope
Aneel: flowchart?
Aneel: how do you make one of those?
Claudia: Yeah
Claudia: Just draw it
Aneel (like 5 minutes later): on paper?
I should win an Oscar or something
Oh man…talk about insanity…I was home alone tonight and, while I was cleaning, dug out all these old video tapes of book reports I’ve done for school over the years. They’re genius…
“Stepping on the Cracks” (fourth grade)
~4th graders can’t act worth crap.
~I am an excellent cameraman.
~”He ruined my homework!” “He ruined my pants!”
~I look basically the same.
~I had a hole in my pants the entire time.
~People with backpacks over their heads singing “oh oh it’s magic” is always entertaining. (“You always know what’s magic!”)
“Banner in the Sky” (fifth or sixth grade)
~This is supposed to be on a remote mountain in the Alps. We did it on a snowpile in a parking lot with dogs and cars making noise in the background.
~I got a lot of shots of Aaron’s butt. Quite a lot. That’s the whole movie, really.
~My camera work is genius!
“Dune” (yes, “Dune”. 7th grade. Best. Work. Ever.)
~My intro: “The setting is outside the very white sanded Dune desert cave.”
~We all go insane when we’re out in the snow for three hours.
~This whole damn thing is a blooper, really.
~Our sword fights consisted of sticks and pushing and screaming and chasing.
~Brendan writes the most brilliant script I’ve ever seen, but his interpretation of “Dune” was…uh…slightly skewed.
~”The blind man is killing me!”
~”I’m all wet! Why’d you get me all wet? I like to be dry!”
~”Ever heard of Judas, the loser who cheated Jesus? You are all like him! All of you!”
~”Me like escorting women!”
~”I don’t have a part till the all wet part”
~”Give me some of that stinkin’ coffee!”
~”It wasn’t me! I’m not even in this scene!”
~”The scene that we cut WE DIDN’T REALLY CUT!!!”
~Award-winning filming by ME!
Jeez…I was laughing the whole time through these pathetic things. Nice cheer up. I’m a happy little freak now.
Physics
Wasn’t it around this same time last year that all us people who were in physics were trying desperately to finish our chairs?
Those damn chairs…
I dug the picture of mine out of my butt last night. It was supposed to be cheese, but in retrospect, it looks more like The Cheat.
GRADUATION!
I just got home from my graduation today.
It was exciting and very scary. Mr. Kaag spoke, which was cool, and so did Ben. They both rocked. I got a little bronze honor cordy thing, which is kinda disappointing (since I could’ve done better) but oh well.
Mr. Blount told me that I got a 99% in his class–the highest grade in all the periods.
Train o’ Rockin’…aw, screw it. I never have to go through physics again!
Now I never have to see Lead again, the little loser!
Off to the Senior Party!
Stupid physics…(oh, and the last day of school)
I am very disappointed in my Rube Goldberg machine, which conveniently quit working when Mr. Blount came to check it out for a grade. It’s as if it hates me for some reason.
Gr.
But anyways, it is the last day of high school…ever. Kinda sad, kinda scared, kinda excited.
But mostly pissed about physics. It ruined my whole day.
Put on your happy pants!
So the year is coming to a close, and I feel the best way to end it (on my blog, at least) is to make a list of my most-remembered memories from our little lunch group.
So without further ado, I present to you:
~* The Most-Remembered Memories List! *~
~ The “family tree” I made out of my deck of cards
~ That creepy bearded guy cornering me while I had a pad in my pants and asking whether or not my parents would approve of me being “inappropriate”
~ Crab humping! (and “over capacity” Jacob!)
~ Sticking my clarinet case down my pants
~ Taking off my bra and throwing it on Aneel (multiple occurrences)
~ The whole “that’s not Gangrene!” situation
~ Tampy!
~ The tampon machine
~ “Boxing” with Hunter
~ Pissing off Alan (multiple occurrences)
~ Throwing M&Ms up into the ceiling with Candida
~ Those cardboard stilts in the bathroom
~ Harassing Ballerina Boy (multiple occurrences)
~ Taking butt and crotch pictures with my camera phone
~ Those Easter eggs–whacking them with my head
~ My reading of To Kill A Mockingbird
~ Crab-walking down the hall
~ Writing the Valentine’s Day poem to Aneel’s brother
~ Taking off my panties while wearing a skirt and then doing a cartwheel (thanks, E’raina!)
There are probably dozens more. Do you guys remember something that I don’t? If you do, tell me and I’ll stick it on here!
Random crap
HOLY CRAP IT’S FINALS WEEK!
Okay…now that that’s said, here are a few random dingy-bobbers that are occurring/being pondered/continuously going through my mind:
1) I am a geek. This has already been proven, but I figure the fact that I give people nicknames due to whether or not their initials make up a symbol of the Periodic Table of Elements (examples: Aneel would be Arsenic (As), I would be Curium (Cm), and you-know-who would be Lead (Pb). Nerdy nerdy geek freak.
2) I like fajitas (despite the fact that I have never had one).
3) I’m really friggin’ thirsty right now. For chocolate milk. Dang.
4) Pedro is hot.
Can you tell I’m bored as hell? I’m bored as hell.
My Rube Goldberg machine is genius!
YAY! I finally finished the construction of my Rube Goldberg machine! Now I shall get extra credit in physics which will guarantee a solid A in the class (and possibly the highest grade in our period!)
It works beautifully…except for the actual cutting part, which I figured wouldn’t matter too much, considering the fact that its working is only 5f our total grade. I rock.
Once again, it’s time to visit the…
Train o’ Rockin’ at Physics!
Soreness, the “flood”, and the Band Awards Night
First point of discussion: I am very sore from bowling at the Senior Sneak. Sad? Yes. Depressing? Yes. A good excuse for not working on my physics tonight? Yes.
Second point of discussion: Our school is obviously not flood-proof. We had some form of five-minute torrential downpour at lunch today and one whole hallway of the school flooded. Plus, when I got to band, half the floor (which is carpet, mind you) was soaking wet. We all had to cram into half of the room, which was a challenge, considering it was mostly full of chairs.
Third point of discussion: The Band Awards were tonight at the Junior High (which luckily wasn’t flooded). These were the thingies I won:
– Future Conductor Award
– Band Geek Award
– Garrett’s (our teacher) Pet Award
– 6 Year Award (only 3 of us got it–in normal years there are like 6 or 7)
– Leadership and Inspiration Award (I had no idea I’d win this one…quite a shock)
We had pizza and it was fun.
Sneak-olium!
Senior Sneak was today, and we went to Triple Play up in Coeur d’Alene (at least I think it was Coeur d’Alene) and it was pretty dern fun!
On the bus down I played Scrabble, cause I’m a geek, and I wrote a cool poem in Paula’s yearbook!
I bowled with Aneel and Paula, and all of us sucked (there wasn’t a score above 70).
After that we did the go-karts. If Dakota wasn’t such a butthead, I would’ve won (or have been close to winning). After that we got in the bumper boats and got Aneel soaking wet! Paula’s boat didn’t steer, and Ben had to rescue her.
Then we actually went in the water, and we hooked up with Tanna and went down these kick-butt slides!! They were so cool! Great fun.
Then we did the go-karts again, and, like before, I would’ve definitely won if Dakota wasn’t a butt. He made me wipe out in the last two laps. I was passing everybody else, probably because I was the only one who knew (or remembered) that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line–everyone else was hugging each curve.
So it was cool. Aneel was on drugs the whole time, and I’m not just talking about Dramamine!
Yearbook!
So we got our yearbook today…good job, E’raina! I liked the little quote you put in there about me and Candida.
I also like your butt. It’s hot.
That’s all I’ve got to say today. The Senior Sneak is tomorrow, so we’ll see what will occur. Hopefully none of the buses will break down.
Hunter, my dad, and Aneel’s issues
Part One: In Which I Discuss Hunter’s Deceiving Of The Attendance Lady
Although others (E’raina, Hunter) may discuss this as well, I want to put it up here first. So today we were all sitting at lunch and Hunter had his cell phone out and was on hold with someone (I dunno who). Then the attendance lady walks by and says, “Are you using your cell phone on school grounds?” (or something to that effect) and Hunter does this all innocent, straight-faced, “Um, I think my Grandma just died…my mom left a confusing message and I don’t’ know what it means”. She just looks away in shame and continues walking. It was so friggin’ hilarious!! Kudos to Hunter. You are going to hell.
Part Two: In Which I Discuss My Dad’s Ability To Mispronounce Everything
My dad comes downstairs last night and starts talking to us about how he and his friend Joe were going to go see a movie. We ask him how Joe’s doing, considering he had just had is carotid artery all cleaned out (apparently it was about 95 locked). Dad says, “He’s okay, his corotorraterated artery surgery was awhile ago.” We started laughing at him, since he NEVER can pronounce anything right. Oh well. It was funny at the time.
Part 3: In Which I Discuss Aneel And His Issues
Aneel has created a new word: elasticated. I will now define it for you:
Elasticated (adj.): being devoid of all elasticity, e.g. Aneel’s swim trunks
Aneel is having issues about an apparent “gray hair” that he found while trying on new swim trunks (not down there, you sickos!) and is worried that he is “prematurely aging”. So I say, “You’re not prematurely aging, you silly boy!” And then I recommended Just for Men.
I’m weird.
So much pain…(or, why I should get an A in physics)
I’ve been working on my Rube-Goldberg project for almost 6 hours straight now, and I’m only about 1/2 way through. These are some reasons why I should get an A on this darn thing:
1) I’ve worked for 6 hours straight on this project ON A SUNDAY.
2) I have splinters in my pants.
3) I have about 15 burns all over my hands from that dang hot-glue gun.
4) My thumbs are all bruised up because I have no depth perception with a hammer.
5) The floor in my room is full of debris from this project, and therefore, everywhere I step I either get splinters in my feet, nails in my feet, or wire wrapped around my toes.
6) I had a dream last night about my Rube-Goldberg machine coming to life and destroying itself.
I guess it’s my own fault–when I get into something, I really get into it and begin to be obsessed about it. Oh well. I’ll get extra credit!!
On a roll! (and apologies to Aneel)
Sorry about that “disappointed” business yesterday, Aneel. I was just having fun with my butt (among other things).
Anyways, I am on a roll with my Rube Goldberg project for physics. I started building it today and I’m already about 1/3 of the way through. I rock.
Train o’ Rockin’ at Physics!
NOT PHYSICS! ANYTHING BUT PHYSICS!!!
I’m sitting here at 11:30 at night watching Mystery Men and blogging on Myspace when I should be doing my physics final. But I always get things done…besides, I have one of the only two A’s in our period.
I shall prevail. Physics doesn’t scare me!! (me laughing evilly)
Aneel should post more. I know he’s got girly little thoughts rolling around in that head of his.
Cardboard boxes ROCK!
Today was so fun! Hunter and I “raced” in a cardboard box down the hall and I mauled him and he tried to kill me and I almost lost my pants! Apparently he won, but I think it was fixed.
It was so cool! I think it should be an Olympic sport.
…
I’ll call it “boxing”.
Incompetent people suck.
I’m so pissed off about this whole situation I went through today. Let me lay it out for you:
I’m Teacher’s Aide for Mr. Kaag during 2nd hour. He asks me to go copy some tests, so I go up to the copy room to do it. In front of me in line are the two most incompetent girls I’ve seen in…well, a couple minutes, considering I was at high school. Anyway, they’re these two ditzy, scantily-clothed, room-temperature I.Q. chicks are laughing obnoxiously while they’re trying to figure out how to make copies. I mean really, people, how hard is it? You put the paper you want to copy on the tray. You press in (at most) 3 specifications. You press “start”. Simple, right? Not simple enough for these Neanderthal-like girls, who somehow manage to jam the machine at least 10 times–each time bending over to allow me a clear (and very unpleasant) view of their butt-cracks. Of course, I tried to help them, but gave up after about the 5th paper jam and spent the rest of the time waiting for them entertaining myself by banging my head repeatedly on the desk.
I can just see these two chicks IM-ing their friends later that night:
hotgurl39: OMG i like tottaly jamed the copymachine at shcool today!!!!hottieluv: dude u shouldve like gotten help form 1 of those geeky ppl
hotgur39: being a TA is hard!!!!! :P im going to like mary a smrt guy
hottieluv: hed be like bill gates and be rich and he could by u teh car you always wanted. hey are u goin to teh mall today with me and ali
hotgurl39: duh! i need new shoes!!!!! lol
Finally (after about an hour) they half-ass their way through enough copies to allow themselves to go back to their class, leaving me with the message, “I bet it won’t work for you, either!”
I flawlessly copied 40 13-page tests without jamming the copier.
ARRRRGH!!!! I hate incompetent people. When I become President of the United States, I’m going to be sure to fire promptly anyone who shows even the slightest bit of incompetence.
Pissed off.
Crap, I’m tired.
2 AP tests in a row. I do not recommend it. Especially when the second one is U.S. history, and that’s the one you’re rusty on because you took the class last year but forgot to turn in the money in time to get the test so you have to cram in several centuries of information into your head in a short period of time.
Blah. Tired. Sorry this one is so boring…I’m just about ready to die.
One Life Lesson and AP English
Today I shared one of life’s lessons with my friends: never take a Gerber jar and suck your lips into it until it turns your skin purple and you have to walk around with a purple ring around your mouth for a week. Just thought I’d like to share that.
I also took the AP English exam this morning, which lasted for 3 hours. Not a fun time, but I think I did okay. Tomorrow I have to take the AP History exam because we forgot to pay in time to take it last year. Poop.
Must…study…Reagan administration…
I am the Master of the Government Final!!
I turned in my government final on Monday for extra credit, and Mrs. Hall told me today that I got a 113! What complete happiness. I was having nightmares that I bombed the final–but no! I am the government final master. Bow to me, all ye lower-graded government students!
On a completely different note…
So I’m sitting here watching a rerun of Top Chef (“Nasty Delights”) before the new one comes on later tonight. And I’m thinking, “It’s not going to be the same without Stephen to shake things up”. Sure, he annoyed everyone, but he was interesting–definitely the antagonist of the group. Oh, well. I think I’ll download the whole show onto my iPod. Besides, Stephen kind of reminds me of someone…right, Aneel? (hint hint)
On another completely different note…
I tried to give blood yesterday but couldn’t cause I’m anemic. I don’t know why I didn’t write about that yesterday, but I didn’t. So yeah. Also, we (my mom and I) were sitting in the car being bored, so I pulled out the car’s manual. I then realized that the chapter regarding “starting and operating your vehicle” was chapter 7. 7! Who the crap designed this manual, and why did they put such a basic (not to mention crucial) chapter in the middle of the manual? Hm.
The end.
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