Do any of my readers remember hearing about this when it happened in 2006? I certainly don’t remember hearing about it, but I was in high school and gave zero craps about anything that wasn’t The Sims or stalking Lead.
But this is a really well-done documentary, yo. Check it out and be terrified.
Claudia’s Top Ten Reasons Why She Shouldn’t Ever Take Dramamine:
- Dry-swallowing those starchy little pills sucks.
- The instant Placebo Effect from swallowing said starchy little pill is strong, but not strong enough to beat psycho turbulence caused by the Pacific Northwest’s mercurial climate.
- They make me loopy and then freaking KNOCK ME OUT.Seriously, I took one at like 2 PM yesterday and by the time it was 7 or so I was so freaking out of it that I couldskdfnantdf..
- [wakes up] Huh? What? Did I fall asleep? Sorry. I meant to say that Dramamine really jussdlat aldkfafsfao adgpjaeaf…[sleeps]
- [wakes up] Wait…what was I doing again?
In related news: I’m in Tucson!
Was I on drugs when I made this (2007)? Seriously.
This is why I shouldn’t be allowed around Flash.
Also, crappy quality is crappy because Flash 5’s like “LOL WHAT’S ‘OUTPUT TO .WMV?'”
This is actually super cool. Comments:
Abilify: Yeah, that’s basically what you want to do to yourself since you can’t sit still for more than a nanosecond.
Seroquel: surprisingly coherent drawing. That stuff put me in Drowsyland.
I almost commented, “where’s Saphris?” but then I realized that had he actually taken Saphris he would have never completed his drawing, what with being preoccupied with falling asleep as fast as humanly possible.
Um…okay. This is a little doohickey that I wrote in about three minutes while under the influence of Ibuprofen, Zoloft, antibiotics, and iron. Here we go:
The Story of Infinity: How it Came to Be
Once upon a time, long ago in Wisconsin, a lonely Anglo-Saxon whitesmith named Raphael was sitting in a field, waiting for a message from his African-American blacksmith friend, Pete.
While waiting for Pete, the whitesmith felt a feeling. He leapt to his feet, immediately fell to his knees, and began to pray.
“God,” he said, looking up to the sky “if you really are God, please kill Pete and let me have his blacksmithing business, for he is much more profitable than me. Thank you.” He sat back down in the grass, and, after another moment or two, fell asleep.
Suddenly, a great rumble came from the sky above. Raphael awoke. He looked up into the sky, and before him hovered God. God was wearing pink. Raphael questioned this, saying, “Almighty one, why have you chosen such a feminine color?”
God replied in a manly voice, “God has no gender. God is a wonderful being of unquestionable holiness and awesomeness. God is also a sheep. Look closer.” And it was revealed that God was truly a sheep.
“God,” said Raphael “You heard my prayer. Will you kill Pete?”
“Why?” God asked. “Pete is your friend. He is a successful black blacksmith.”
“That is the point,” Raphael said. “He is more successful than me. I do not like it. Plus, his wife is more attractive than mine, and it would be much simpler to have an affair with her if Pete were out of the way.”
God considered. “Alright,” came the answer. “Here is how it will work: I will leave you and you shall sleep. In the dream, a beautiful woman will appear. All you have to do is reach her and kiss her. As soon as you have done that, Pete will be dead.” God then leapt from the field and, with his mighty sheep legs, reached the Kingdom of Heaven in a single bound.
Raphael relaxed in the grass and instantly fell asleep. As he slept, he began to dream. In his dream, he was in a wide field of wheat. A sign was posted next to him that read Finity Field. As he looked around, he saw a beautiful woman in the distance. He judged the length between them to be about a mile. “All I have to do is run to her,” Raphael reasoned “and Pete will be dead.” So he began to run. An hour later, however, though Raphael had run over five miles, the beautiful woman still seemed to be the same length away from him. He kept running. Two hours later, he was exhausted and nowhere closer to the beautiful woman than he had been before.
Irate, he awoke. “God!” he called.
God appeared. “Yes, Raphael?”
“Why have you deceived me? It is not possible to reach the beautiful woman in Finity Field.”
“Why Raphael,” God replied “it is most certainly possible. Just be patient. Run for a longer period of time.”
God left Raphael and he went back to sleep. In his dream, he took Gods advice and ran for two days straight. Still, however, the beautiful woman remained the same distance away from Raphael she was before. But Raphael would not give up. He was determined to kill Pete. So he ran, and ran, and ran, and ran.
Meanwhile, Pete reached the field in which Raphael lay dreaming. “Raphael?” He shook his friends shoulder. Raphael did not awake; he was deep into his dream. So Pete turned to God.
“God?” he said to the heavens. “What is wrong with my friend?”
Again, God appeared, and though Pete wondered about God being a sheep dressed in pink, he said nothing of this and pointed to the sleeping Raphael. “Raphael is being punished.” God explained to Pete. “You see, Raphael wished death upon you because you are more successful than you and your wife is more attractive than his wife. I told him that in his dream, if he would reach a beautiful woman and kiss her, his wish would be granted. However, since I am the Almighty one, I can trick him with my power. He will never reach the beautiful women because of his selfish thoughts. He is in Finity…forever. “
And so, infinity became the word for forever. Also, whitesmithing became unpopular and was virtually destroyed a month or so after Raphael’s demise. Pete flourished, and so did blacksmithing.
The disturbing part is, though, that this story isn’t nearly as whacked out as the stories I come up with when I’m not on drugs.
Senior Sneak was today, and we went to Triple Play up in Coeur d’Alene (at least I think it was Coeur d’Alene) and it was pretty dern fun!
On the bus down I played Scrabble, cause I’m a geek, and I wrote a cool poem in Paula’s yearbook!
I bowled with Aneel and Paula, and all of us sucked (there wasn’t a score above 70).
After that we did the go-karts. If Dakota wasn’t such a butthead, I would’ve won (or have been close to winning). After that we got in the bumper boats and got Aneel soaking wet! Paula’s boat didn’t steer, and Ben had to rescue her.
Then we actually went in the water, and we hooked up with Tanna and went down these kick-butt slides!! They were so cool! Great fun.
Then we did the go-karts again, and, like before, I would’ve definitely won if Dakota wasn’t a butt. He made me wipe out in the last two laps. I was passing everybody else, probably because I was the only one who knew (or remembered) that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line–everyone else was hugging each curve.
So it was cool. Aneel was on drugs the whole time, and I’m not just talking about Dramamine!