Denny’s Midnight Runners
Apologies to Dexy.
Ah, first football game of the year, and what an absolute bore the clarinet section is this year. Maggie, I miss you. I want to be up with you and Matt and Rob and all the other fun people up in the trombone/baritone section.
But enough about that!
Denny’s will never be the same. Tonight was awesome. Five us of go gadding about at 10 at night to Denny’s in Pullman. I had sugar. Melissa had a video camera. We were all pretty perverted. Fun times were had.
I must say, life is pretty good right now.
Except for math.
Orson Welles, put your pants back on!
So this probably won’t mean a single thing (or be funny at all) to any of you but Nick, since this was a snippet of a rather long conversation in which I get accused of being too wordy (me? Wordy? I know, shocking!). He just wanted me to post this somewhere, so in the blogs it goes.
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: So what’s the deal with you and Melissa?
St. Nick says: we’re done, i think
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Aw
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: I’m sorry
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: What happened?
St. Nick says: oh, she just “happened” to kiss this really attractive male friend of hers who plays the didgeridoo
St. Nick says: wtf didgeridoo
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Haha
St. Nick says: who the hell does that?
St. Nick says: and how does it come up in conversation?
St. Nick says: “hi, what’s your name?” “i’m tom. oh and by the way in case you were wondering cause everybody wonders, i play the didgeridoo”
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: A little bitter, are we?
St. Nick says: maybe a little
St. Nick says: but it’s all good cause this girl i met when i was in montana is actually going to school here and we’re gonna hook up tomorrow
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Good lord, man
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Take a breath
St. Nick says: lol
St. Nick says: i could say the same thing about you and your writing
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: What’s that supposed to mean?
St. Nick says: that message you sent me was three pages long and all you basically said was that you liked your philosophy class
St. Nick says: you know what you’re problem is?
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Oh, enlighten me, Mr. Commander of the English Language
St. Nick says: you’re too wordy
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Ah!
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Absolutely not!
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Never am I too verbose as to get my point across clearly and concisely in a manner that is succinct and to the point while simultaneously being thorough in my explanation of my thoughts and attitudes!
St. Nick says: lol case and point
St. Nick says: best comeback ever lol
I Think it was Socrates Who Said, “Hello! My Name is Socrates!” says: Thanks
Yeah, that’s all. Nick just wanted that last part to be immortalized. So there you go, you weird person, you. And stay away from me at the library.
Matt, you’re WAY out of your element!
But that’s okay, cause I found it for you! Custom made.
Sometimes I have the answers. Other times I’m just a toaster.
You know our road trip video that I made that was 40 minutes long and took about 400 hours to download and/or play? Yeah. I finally got the brilliant idea that I could chop it up and put it as sections on YouTube. Genius, huh?
Here they are. I am the best filmer ever. Period.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
I’d say either Part II or Part IV is the funniest, but that’s just me. Hell, you don’t have to watch ’em at all (except for you, Amy and Shannyn, you fools were there and I expect my award-winning filming to be appreciated!).
I used to teach a failing fly-tying class until I realized my efforts were all for knot.
So after a gushing nosebleed that lasted a good half hour this morning (that Amy stopped by banging on the bottom of my feet—don’t ask me how that worked, but it did), we came back from Coeur d’Alene and then went to Shannyn’s party where I learned:
1) I can’t bowl
2) I can’t bowl even when I change my name to a) Voltaire, b) Descartes, or c) Sartre
3) Amy looks good in Gus’s shirt and vice versa
This profile is set to dorky. This user must remove your pants to see his/her profile.
Technically this video was made on the fourth, but I was not near a computer at all on the third in order to post an actual blog, so I’m putting this for the 3rd anyway. Deal with it.
Amy, Shannyn and I go on an overnight road trip to Coeur d’Alene and stay at a creepy motel. It’s grand fun. This video is mainly for them, not because I don’t want anyone else to see it, but because it’s probably boring as hell to everyone who wasn’t there. Plus, because I’m not able to get it on DVD with my computer, I’m giving them this link here to download it to their computers. It’s about 40 minutes long, meaning that the download time is very, very long. So basically, watch it if you want, but beware: it’s probably very boring to you (except the part where I almost take off my shirt completely).
Edit: this is now on YouTube. Read August 7th’s blog and see!
Adventures in Boise: Day 3
Today I went two places I’ve never been before:
1) Target (I bought pajamas!)
2) Chili’s
And then I did two things I never thought I would do:
1) Go to a Harry Potter book premiere (I know, Shannyn, it’s shocking!)
2) Go to a Harry Potter book premiere dressed as a pirate
Yeah, so tonight totally rocked. I went with Matt and his friends around town to gather pirate paraphernalia in order to go to the new HP book midnight premiere dressed as pirates. So we go there and realize that we probably won’t be able to get in and get a book, so we leave (after pirating around a little) and go to Starbucks and then downtown for a bit.
It was grand fun.
Adventures in Boise: Day 2
Hooray for Boise! Today my mom and I went downtown and dinked around for about five hours. I like Boise. It’s nice.
Then Matt and his friends (who are awesome, by the way) picked me up from the hotel and we went to IHOP and then downtown. Fun fun!
If YOU don’t talk to your child about thermonuclear fusion, who WILL?
Three cheers for me, I’ve finally put the pics up from our Sunday frolics at Ross and in the park.
Actually, you should probably throw stuff at me. What’d it take, a week? Slacker. But yeah, they’re all up there under the “Friends and Myself” album. I’ll probably keep them all up there a week or so, then just leave the best ones to stay.
And even if you weren’t there, they might be worth look.
Yes, I’m picture-whoring.
No, I don’t care.
If a tree farts in the forest, do all the other trees fall over?
Wee! Today was grand fun. I don’t think I’ve ever had as much fun trying on clothes as I did today when we (Amy, Candida, Shannyn and I) went to Ross to try on dresses. We were all super sexy! The park rocked, as well. If any of you guys are reading this, thanks for the great time. We need to do it again!
I’ll put pics up ASAP; MySpace picture loader apparently isn’t working for Shannyn and it’s not working for me, either. Gr.
Where do the quadriplegics stand?
Hey people who talk to me:
I am sincerely sorry that I haven’t returned phone calls/Facebook messages/MySpace messages/emails in the past, what, four days? Things got crazy busy very quickly…work, school, this whole issue with a friend of my mom and her sister’s mental health…lots of stuff. I’ve literally had almost no time to sit down and check stuff on the computer. So I did today. And it’s all caught up.
Please forgive me for being a crappy friend when it comes to this kind of stuff. I really try to stay in touch with people who want to stay in touch with me, and I don’t want them to think I don’t care, because I do. I don’t want to alienate you (I’m good at that). This especially goes out to Matt and Maggie.
So here’s my little public apology to you all. Forgive me?
P.S. The blogs being late still aren’t my fault. MySpace hates me and my constant blogging. Just want you to know it’s all current; it’s all written up on the day of the happenings. I just have to wait for MySpace to be cooperative before I can post it. Haha.
Waiter! There’s a Hard Rock in my Cafe!
HOLY CRAP IT’S FINALS WEEK AND AFTER THIS I’LL BE A JUNIOR!
Ahem.
Finals finished today: statistics and psychology. I think I did okay on them—but I can never be sure. I either win or I fail. No in between.
Anyways, I’m glad they’re over; they were my hard ones. Now all I have left is biology (the bad: it’s cumulative and long) and Core (the bad: it’s Core).
Ah, yes! Matt and I went to see Spiderman 3 tonight. Not too horribly bad, I’d say…they threw in a bit of existentialism there at the end and I was happy about that. Three out of five stars? Maybe? I’m no movie critic.
I’m writing rather strangely tonight. Could it perchance be the fact that summer is nearly here and I’ll still be taking classes for the next month or so?
I say yes.
Madman, I’m a Madam!
Last night Matt and I went down to The Beach to the drag show they were holding for Psycho de Mayo. Each of us went as the opposite sex and we had a lot of fun. I had no idea such crazy, wonderful people as the drag queens existed in Moscow, but they do, and I’m glad.
Here are a few things I learned:
1) There are some times when you just have to forget about impending finals (yeah, this is me saying this).
2) When sober people truly let go and allow themselves to be free, it is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
3) When drunks do it it’s kinda disturbing.
4) I suck at pool.
5) Matt’s better than me at pool.
6) I suck at dancing.
7) Matt’s better than me at dancing.
8) Poles are fun.
9) Bring more dollar bills next time.
10) Apparently, some guy’s really wondering if “anybody wants to have sex tonight.”
Pics.
Nick and I get philosophical (for about a nanosecond–then we dissolve into silliness)
Oh man…this was the funniest conversation over MSN I’ve ever had. I don’t know why, but at the time both of us were in hysterics (we had our mics on) over how “witty” we were. There were about minute-long gaps in between the posing of a “life is like…” statement and the response. I’m “Opinions,” Nick is “Blitz!”:
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Question.
Blitz! says: shoot
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: What’s the meaning of life?
Blitz! says: to live long and prosper
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Haha
Blitz! says: life is like star trek
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: William Shatner is God.
Blitz! says: lol
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Life is like a lot of things
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Screw boxes of chocolate!
Blitz! says: i hear that
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Life is like a rodeo
Blitz! says: no matter how good you are, you’ll mess up eventually. Then you’ll be glad there are those clowns around to save your ass.
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Haha, that’s awesome!
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Give me one
Blitz! says: okay
Blitz! says: life is like a garden
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: If you do things right, it will involve at least one hoe and one bush.
Blitz! says: lol win
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Life is like George Clooney’s underwear:
Blitz! says: sometimes it’s full of crap
Blitz! says: but a good kind of crap
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Oh my god, that’s really funny
Blitz! says: lol i’m a genius
Blitz! says: life is like a sentence
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Life can’t be a sentence
Blitz! says: why
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Because rather than ending with a period, it begins with one
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Sort of
Blitz! says: holy shit, that’s clever
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Thanks
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Life is like a spelling bee:
Blitz! says: u go arownd speling things lik this and sumones going to kil u
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Haha
Blitz! says: life is like unprotected sex
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: It’s no fun going through with it wrapped in latex.
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Eh. What about this:
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Life is like Dick Cheney:
Blitz! says: it doesn’t matter if you’re a nice person; it’ll still shoot you in the face one day when you’re least expecting it
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: You have no idea how much I’m laughing right now.
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Am I sick?
Blitz! says: lol yes
Blitz! says: life is like a sweet tart
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: The more you suck at it, the more you get engulfed by bitterness
Blitz! says: you’re friggin good at this
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: I know :P
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Life is like a simile
Blitz! says: lol i don’t think anything else needs to be said
Opinions are Nothing but Onions and Pi says: Ah, true
And then we go off and talk about homework, which is even more boring and even less funny (shockingly). Still, some of them are good, right?
Waiter! There’s an…aw, screw it, can I just get some pasta?
Haha, I’m so cruel. Poor Nick. This was at about 3 in the morning, mind you. He’s “Apathy,” I’m “The Roof.”
Who cares about apathy? says: will you help me get my english done, please? i’m so damn tired…
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Okay
Who cares about apathy? says: what’s “allegory?”
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Al Gore’s evil twin.
Who cares about apathy? says: shut up
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Seriously.
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: He thinks global warming is a myth and felt that the 2000 election was entirely unfixed.
Who cares about apathy? says: lol
Who cares about apathy? says: you amuse me so
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: I know :P
Who cares about apathy? says: i’m so tired i can’t think
Who cares about apathy? says: can’t get it done
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Oh, yes you can
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: You’re smart as a whip
Who cares about apathy? says: come now, you know how i detest clichés
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Whatever floats your boat
Then later,
Who cares about apathy? says: oh gross
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: What?
Who cares about apathy? says: i have a big bunion on my toe
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Why must you tell me this?
Who cares about apathy? says: lol
Who cares about apathy? says: what should i do with it?
The Roof, The Roof, The Roof Appears to Have Spontaneously Combusted! says: Name it “Paul”
Needless to say, he didn’t get his English finished in time, and I don’t know if he named the bunion Paul. And he’d probably hurt me if he knew I was posting this, but I don’t care! I’m trying to convince him to get a MySpace so I can bug him here as well.
Why limit friendship by naming a SQUARE after it? Why is there no friendship CUBE, huh?
Woo! I dare say that this is the first real outside of school social interaction I’ve had since Christmas Break. Thanks, guys. You’ve brought out the child (or childish freak) in me yet again. And I needed that.
I’ll get those pics up as soon as possible. Just for you, Aneel!
Oh, and I got sunburned. How sad is that?
Ah, the wonders of a camera phone…
So after losing and rediscovering my cell phone YET AGAIN, I decided to look through all the crap from high school I’d had saved on it. Here are some of the things I found:
~Aneel with barrettes in his hair
~E’raina’s butt (there were quite a lot of these…)
~Alan’s butt/crotch/him coming after me
~E’raina’s Ramen hair!
~Amy’s boobies
~E’raina and Amy gettin’ down dirty on the floor (with my encouragement)
~Hunter’s crotch
~A video of Amy and me dirty dancing in front of my physics classroom
~A video of me being chased by Amy and randomly stopping to strip (me stripping, not Amy, unfortunately)
~A video of Aneel’s glasses case and me stealing it from him
~A video of me groping Hunter
~A video of me grinding on Hunter
~A video of me grinding on Aneel (actually, there are about three of these)
~A video of Aneel drinking soda, him accusing me of wanting to cause harm to him, and me saying, “No, I don’t! I’m taking pictures of your crotch!”
I miss these days. It’s a wonder I never got detention/suspended/shot for this crap.
Poor Aneel (sequel to “30 short reasons why I need a life”)
Haha, I did it again. Here are more fun posts for Aneel to ponder!
Claudia Mahler wrote
Why would you ever think I post on your wall too much?
I just don’t understand…
Claudia Mahler wrote
Haha, I’m glad you like my insane posting habits. I’ll bet it annoys everyone else who posts, though.
But that’s my appeal. (Note: Claudia’s appeal costs $50/hour. Cash only. Small bills preferred.)
Claudia Mahler wrote
Haha…drafting overdose.
At least it’s not heroin or something.
Unless “drafting” has become some sort of hip new word for “heroin.”
You’d better check yourself into rehab, young man!
Claudia Mahler wrote
I just realized that I start most of my wall posts with the phrase “haha” (or some variation of it). WTF?
Claudia Mahler wrote
Ahoy-hoy! Here is a birthday present for you! I almost picked the fancy undies, but I figured you already had a pair. So I chose the whipped cream/cherry. Kinky, eh? Happy birthday!
Claudia Mahler wrote
Wow…I haven’t written on your wall for, what, 48 hours? What the hell?! I’m slipping!
Claudia Mahler wrote
Must..
.maintain…wall…dominance…
Claudia Mahler wrote
Must…refrain…from…overusing…ellipses…
Claudia Mahler wrote
Must…get…a…date…
Claudia Mahler wrote
Or…at least…a rubberband…with personality…
Claudia Mahler wrote
Must…distract you…from…last…post…
Claudia Mahler wrote
I grow tired of these games! It’s high time we sat down to a good old-fashioned MSN Messenger conversation in which you abandon your computer for a good hour while I feverishly peck out some 18th-century oriented conversation about zodiac signs, gynecologists, and row-row-row your boat!
…I think this is the most meaningful message I’ve ever left you.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Did you know 3 out of 3 doctors recommend me for a good boredom cure?
Claudia Mahler wrote
Did you also know that I have been shown in clinical studies to prevent herpes?
Claudia Mahler wrote
I think doctors need to re-evaluate their clinical studies. It’s like those toothbrushes. Who’s that one doctor who EVERY DAMN TIME says, “hell no! I won’t recommend this product! I’m a sourpuss and I want the world to know it! I’ve got a horse chestnut up my butt and it’s making me cranky! I’m Rube Goldberg!”
Claudia Mahler wrote
Did you ever stop to think that your whole life could be put on stage one day in the future? Who do you think would play you?
Claudia Mahler wrote
I think William Shatner would play me.
Claudia Mahler wrote
I <3 William Shatner.
Claudia Mahler wrote
I think MySpace Tom would play you.
No offense, or anything.
Claudia Mahler wrote
I think I need some serious psychiatric help. I may perform self-analysis once I’m certified.
I’ll analyze you for free, of course.
With “free” being read as “$200/hr, $50 extra every time you say the word “cars.”
Claudia Mahler wrote
I know someone who hasn’t written on my wall since the 27th…
His name starts with an “A” and ends with a “neel”…
And no, it’s not Alfred Berneel.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Hooray!
Okay, now I promise not to mass-comment on your wall until…hm…the 20th.
ANEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!
Sharma? It’s your BIRTHDAY?! OMG!
Ahem.
Anyway, here’s a list of random births/deaths/crap that happened on your birthday in history! And go!
~Sharon Stone is born (1958)
~Comet Shoemaker-Holt 2 makes its closest approach to Earth (1.9245 AU) (1997)
~O. J. Simpson jury reaches decision on $25M in punitive damages (1997)
~U.S. performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site (1989)
~28 skiers perform backflips while holding hands, Bromont, Quebec (1982) (Gahahaha….)
~”Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” by Rod Stewart peaks at #1 (1979) (Aneel’s theme song!)
~WW II peace treaties signed (1947)
~Tom and Jerry created by Hanna and Barbera debut by MGM (1940)
Have a happy B-day!
Waiter! There’s Voltaire in my English book! (what’re the odds of that?!)
This is a blog.
This is a blog for someone.
This is a blog for Matt.
This is a blog for Matt because he gave me a carpet square.
This is a blog for Matt because he gave me a carpet square which is now hanging in my dorm room as a piece of abstract art in a crappily-constructed “frame” and is properly entitled, “Look Beyond the Matt.”
So kudos to Matt.
For the carpet square, and in general.
Tax deduction! Tax deduction! Tax deduction!
Note: this has nothing to do with tax deductions.
I’ve been on a roll lately with dorky quotes. Most of them involve my partner-in-strangeness, Maggie, on MSN. Here are a few of them:
Maggie: and now the eternal debate: death by fire or ice…
Me: I say ice, but then I think that it would be cool to have said about you that you truly went out “in a blaze of glory”…doesn’t have the same effect when you go out “in a glacier of glory.” But what if you got run over by a glacier? “Mmm…Thor see big ice cube…ugh!…Thor’s foot under ice cube…Thor forgot to write will…who will get Thor’s mammoth?…”
“Leprechauns are pantsless. They have no spines, also. They’re actually worms who speak broken English and know only a few words, such as “Ey!” and “Oh no!” and “Me Lucky Charms!”
Me: Now I am holding up a picture. It is an inkblot. What do you see?
Maggie: an inkblot.
Me: You’re insane.
My mom (talking about the weather): We’d better keep the cats in tonight; there’s a big band coming towards us.
Me: Sousa?
“What do you call it when a midget gets the services of a prostitute? A low-blow!” (a joke of mine from, what, 2005?)
Maggie: dum dee dum dee dum…
Me: *Turkey in the Straw theme*
Maggie: *depressing d minor bass solo*
Maggie: *debates whether or not to resolve it to D major*
Maggie: *slams head on keyboard*
Me: *throws handful of bandages through the air before realizing that you’re not actually in the same room*
Maggie: +.+
Me: *feigns medical skills*
Me: *begins CPR on a beanie baby*
Maggie: x.x
Me: *flips out, realizing resuscitating a beanie baby does as much good helping you as giving a high-five to George W. Bush helps him with his presidency*
“Alan has holes! I’ve seen them!”
Maggie: Out of curiosity, what happens if the bonfire accidentally lights the Sistine Chapel on fire?
Me: Jesus will have my ass.
Maggie: What if Jesus is in the Sistine Chapel at the time?
Me: God will have both Jesus and my asses, but he will resurrect Jesus’ ass after three days on a day that will be called “Asster.”
30 short reasons why I need a life
Ahoy there! I’m only posting this cause I can’t think of anything else to post.
Plus it’s funny.
Poor Aneel.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Yeah…finally jumped on the Facebook wagon. Can’t do lunch today; I have to go to Polya (poop) cause I haven’t had the chance to so far this week. We could go on Tuesday maybe…
Claudia Mahler wrote
It’s Aneel, it’s Aneel, it’s Aneel-neel-neel!
It’s Aneel, it’s Aneel, it’s Aneel-neel-neel!
It’s Aneel, it’s Aneel, it’s Aneel-neel-neel!
It’s Aneeeeel…
It’s Aneel-neel-neel!
Claudia Mahler wrote
If a quantum physicist and a lawyer were locked in a room together and were forced to come up to the answer to, “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?”, would the quantum physicist be victorious over the lawyer, or vice-versa?
Claudia Mahler wrote
My money’s on the cat.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Oh, crap! I forgot to put the cat in the story!
Claudia Mahler wrote
If a quantum physicist, a cat, and a lawyer were locked in a room together and were forced to come up to the answer to “if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?”, would the quantum physicist be victorious over the lawyer and the cat, the lawyer over the quantum physicist and the cat, or the cat over the lawyer and quantum physicist?
Claudia Mahler wrote
Now my money’s on the quantum physicist. No way in hell is a cat going to be able to vocalize his answer.
Claudia Mahler wrote
How could you’ve written on my wall at 11:26 PM TODAY when it’s only 11:10?
Tell me the secrets of your time travel.
Oh, and it’s a good thing you replied. I was about to do a one-sided conversation thingy like I did on messenger that one time…
Claudia Mahler wrote
O…kay…my post is at 2 in the morning…what time system are you on?
Or is it me?
Claudia Mahler wrote
Are you ever gonna answer that lawyer/cat/quantum physicist question?
Do it NOW!
Claudia Mahler wrote
That new pic is as hot as the sun’s core temperature (15,000,000 degrees Celsius, or something like that. Why isn’t there an “approximately” symbol on the keyboard? I think this should be a new Facebook group: “Petition to Add the Squiggly Equal Sign to the Standard American Keyboard”).
In fact, my monitor is on fire. PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!
Ah, screw it. Aneel=sexy.
…
*cough*cat/lawyer/quantum physicist question*cough*
Claudia Mahler wrote
YOU! Didn’t I nearly dominate your wall at one point? Do you want that again? I DIDN’T THINK SO, SOLDIER!
Ahem…okay. Much love. Reply.
Claudia Mahler wrote
SHARMEGAMAN!
You know I love your driving. I love your driving as much as I love math.
I need to take over your wall again at some point in the near future.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Aneel! President Fillmore has an urgent call for you on line three! Pick up at once!
Claudia Mahler wrote
Line three: “Mr. Sharma! President Millard Fillmore here! I’m in need of your assistance! No one freakin’ remembers who I was! It’s as if I never was President! What do I do?”
Claudia Mahler wrote
Line three: “…what do you mean you don’t know who I am?”
Claudia Mahler wrote
Aneel! President Millard Fillmore has just hung up on you! I do believe that this will lead to some sort of national crisis! I’m scared!
Claudia Mahler wrote
Oh wait. He’s dead, isn’t he? Never mind.
…Then who were you talking to?
Claudia Mahler wrote
So hier’ s einige zufälligen Scheiße auf Deutsch. Ich werde Sie können nicht lesen dieses Recht ab dem Schlagholz, nicht wahr wetten? Wenn Sie dies hinter übersetzen, ist es wahrscheinlich nicht etwas schließt zu was ich habe eingetippt, eh? Lesen Sie die Linie in Zitaten, übersetzen Sie es, erwidert dann zu mir mit dieser Linie in der Nachricht, damit ich werde wissen, dass Sie ein wahrer Freund sind, stimmt zu? Aaaannnnnddd. ..go! „Ich wünsche, dass Ihr schnitzel in meiner Scheide war”
Hint: it’s German!
Claudia Mahler wrote
I’m so glad we’re married. Why haven’t you changed your little relationship status?
You’re a bad wife.
Claudia Mahler wrote
…a naughty, dirty wife…
Claudia Mahler wrote
Write a new blog, already. About the wedding at Jack-in-the-Box. It was lovely, wasn’t it?
Claudia Mahler wrote
Huttah! Get back from California, already.
I find it disturbing that, when typing in the web address for Facebook, I accidentally (almost automatically) typed http://www.fecesbook.com.
What does that mean?
And put your wedding ring on, missy. I know you’re not wearing it.
You don’t want me to call Dr. Phil.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Haha, I totally own your wall…48% of the comments are mine.
Yes, I tallied them up.
Yes, I’m a loser.
Yes, I’m not wearing any clothes and am taking pictures just for you. :P
Claudia Mahler wrote
Ha…I’m totally making a Flash animation about you.
Set to “Macarena.”
It’s genius.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Are your butts brown?
Claudia Mahler wrote
Edit for last post: replace “butts” with “eyes” and answer accordingly.
Claudia Mahler wrote
Turns out I eliminated all eye color in the end.
Go figure.
And yes, it’s going well, thanks for asking. :P
You will be pleased…..veeeeeeeeeery pleased…
Hehehe…
Claudia Mahler wrote
Question: exactly how horribly insulting can I be in this movie? Are you going to put any limitations on me? Example: I can dress you up as a girl but I can’t show you hanging out with Ross.
Etc.
P.S. Sex.
Claudia Mahler wrote
How the hell did you get 60 wall posts?!
Oh wait.
“…on paper?”
Haha, it’s time to mess with people! Here are snippits from several MSN messenger conversations I’ve had with some of my friends (mainly Aneel and E’raina) over the past year. They’re hilarious.
#1: in which we discuss a certain teacher and her husband:
E’raina: haha, her hubby came to the rink today and had a conversation with my boobs
Claudia: HAHA!
Aneel: yuck
E’raina: i almost cried
Claudia: I bet he’d like some firm ones for once
Claudia: :D
E’raina: haha
Aneel: ewe
E’raina: damn girl!
Claudia: Not that I look or anything…
E’raina: its hard to miss that
Aneel: haha yeah…
E’raina: its one of those “do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro”
E’raina: but with boobs
#2: in which we discuss the end of the year BBQ:
E’raina: too bad we don’t have friends with hot tubs
E’raina: or slip n slides
E’raina: or crack
Claudia: I have strippers hidden under my bed!
E’raina: I vote for Claudia’s house
E’raina: Hey C, do you ever have a day where you just want to whip Aneel with a piece of licorice?
#3: in which we discuss Aneel’s hotness:
Claudia: Don’t you think Aneel’s hot?
Claudia: I do
Aneel: o yeah it’s not a secret…lol
E’raina: damn right it isn’t
Aneel: I’m not the best kept secret
#4: in which I promote my website:
Claudia: www.geocities.com/antarctica_freak
Claudia: It is great
Claudia: Brilliant
Aneel: lol well you made it
Claudia: Therefore it is great
Claudia: Brilliant
Claudia: HAHA! I just opened my phone and got an eyeful of Alan crotch!
#5: in which we discuss (argue about) pasta for prom:
Claudia: I’ll bring pasta
Claudia: CLEAN pasta, Aneel
Aneel: why would it be dirty?
E’raina: teehee
Claudia: You were saying it was messy
Aneel: yeah pasta is
Claudia: Not all the time
E’raina: it can be
Claudia: But not all the time
Aneel: exactly
Aneel: but it can
Claudia: BUT NOT ALL THE FREAKIN TIME!!!
Claudia: Gang up on me, why don’t ya?
E’raina: i love pasta
E’raina: i’m all about the pasta
Aneel: lol it’s ok I like it to sometimes
E’raina: I love it!
Claudia: …so pasta?
#6: in which Aneel and I discuss what we’re doing at the moment:
Claudia: Did you just say something?
Claudia: …Sharma?
Aneel: yeah whats up>?
Claudia: Government final :(
Claudia: You?
Aneel: I’m decorating my glasses case
Claudia: To make it more manly?
Claudia: Does he really count as a boy?
Claudia: He’s an…Aneel
Aneel (talking about his government final): do you think Hall would care if I did the whole research paper in landscape format?
#7: in which Aneel and I discuss the final government question:
Aneel: what creative thing did you do for a bill becoming a law?
Claudia: I just did a flowchart
Claudia: You haven’t done that yet?
Aneel: nope
Aneel: flowchart?
Aneel: how do you make one of those?
Claudia: Yeah
Claudia: Just draw it
Aneel (like 5 minutes later): on paper?
Guess who JUST GOT MARRIED?!
Hooray! Aneel and I got married today! We went to Jack-in-the-Box to do it (not THAT do it…I meant get married! You sick-minded weirdos…). E’raina apparently can perform the marriage ceremony legally. Unfortunately, though, Aneel would not put on a dress.
UPDATE: Pics are up, people! Right here.
Haha…
Gahaha…I was just looking at all my old MSN conversations (for the past year or so) and I’ve had some of the weirdest (an many) names. Just thought I’d post them here cause I have nothing else to blog about today.
“Mother Theresa called…she HATES you!”
“MANIFESTATION!”
“…Some as big as your head!” (Haha, sorry, E’raina!)
“Never again will I let a Kit-Kat eat ME!”
“I am the Postmaster General!”
“What WOULDN’T Jesus do?”
“I’m an astrophysicist, and I’m studying Uranus”
“South Carolina: if at first you don’t secede, try, try again”
“Fun, fun, fun ’till your daddy takes the TiVo away!”
“Nebraska: the “N” is for Knowledge!”
“It’s unwise to bet against the Harlem Globetrotters”
“Horse Genetalia: How to make it work for you!”
“Crunchatize Me, Cap’n!” (oh god, this night was hilarious)
“Ellipses for all!”
“This just in: geophagists around the world are biting the dust!”
“Where’s Godot?”
“TYRANNOSAURUS SEX!”
“The A.D.D. Association’s Book of Wild Animals of Nor—Hey! Let’s Go Ride Our Bikes!”
“Atheists—they don’t have a prayer!”
“Wordplay is better than Foreplay”
“I think it was Socrates who said, “hello! My name is Socrates!”
“Club sandwiches, not seals!”
“Screw this, I’ve been waiting for Godot FOREVER! I’m goin’ to get a taco! Hey, how long can these titles be, anyway? Oh wait end.”
“Australian is not a foreign language”
“Why isn’t “Craig” short for “Craigory”?
“Americans suck. Why can’t they be more like me? I like my own butt” (a happy little Haiku!)
“My good friend Jason the quadriplegic is going for a walk and—oh wait.”
“Winning one game of ‘Operation’ does not qualify you as a surgeon”
“I am not the kind of person who is easily distract—OMFG A PUPPY!”
“The sun has absolutely nothing to do with anything”
“I peed in the gene pool”
“I stink therefore I’m Spam”
“Shut up, Susie, Mommy’s trying to drink!”
“Quoth the raven: ‘CAW! CAW!'”
“If good things come in little packages, what’s the big deal with natural male enhancement?”
“Claudia can’t think of a good display name: the display name”
“The roof, the roof, the roof appears to have spontaneously combusted!”
“Math derives me crazy!”
“And God said, ‘let there be Eras Light ITC!’”
“Waiter! There’s a quadriplegic in my Jazzercise class!”
“Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars I thought, ‘where the hell is the ceiling?!’”
“Sticks and stones can break my b—OW MY FEMUR!”
“Life is Pietzsche”
“The Day that Camus backed into a Sumac was the Day the Palindrome was Born!”
“Solving a circumference problem? Ha! Easy as pi!”
“Without an absolute, I can be absolutely fine”
“What did the mean cat say? Mu!”
“Comma Sutra”
“Pb Zeppelin”
“Tyrannosaurus SEX!”
“Choco Leibniz: The Best of All Possible Cookies” occasions separate
“U Kant Touch This” (Stop. Trancendental time.)
“Symbolic Logic? Man, everything’s backwards in Symbolic Logic. Especially the E’s.”
“Mobius Striptease”
“Soylent Glitter”
“The Best of All Possible Display Names”
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