MY BUTT RUNNETH OUTSIDE
Today’s original plan was to stay home all day.
I DID NOT
The weather was too nice to stay inside, but by the time I decided to drag my lazy butt out of the house, it was already like 11 AM. That’s too late to do a full walk and still get some time to myself at home in the afternoon, so instead I put on my gear, walked down to the river path, and did a 4-mile run.
IT
FELT
SO
DAMN
GOOD
No pain in my leg at all.
This makes me really want to start running more frequently. Of course, I pick the worse season to pick up running again, but I suppose I can go to Anytime Fitness and use the treadmills there until it warms up enough and I can consistently go running outside.
Yayzorz.
Day off!
Today I walked.
Then I went home.
It was glorious.
Tomorrow I’m going to stay home ALL DAY, which is going to be even more glorious.
(Sorry, I’m really burnt out and need some time where I don’t have to deal with people.)
Edit: hahahaha, oh my god.
Screaming starts at 1:00. Jesus would approve.
Green? Blue? Grue?
My eyes are pretty unremarkable, color-wise. But they do seem to change their main color(s) over the years. They used to be super brown, then super green. Now they seem to be trending towards blue, especially if you look at them in the sunlight. Example:
There’s always that brown ring around my pupil, but as you move further out, that’s definitely a blue-ish color.
Weird.
More Gross Feet! You’ve Been Warned
Look at this poor bastard. Look at what I’ve done to him.
My poor freaking feet, dudes. This is what walking 90+ miles a week since January 2017 has done to them.
Oh, Ferngully…
Heyo.
So I was browsing Tumblr, as I commonly do, and I came across a post someone made about the “Toxic Love” song from Ferngully. “Toxic Love” is the villain’s song, and the villain, Hexxus, happens to be voiced by Tim Curry. The poster was basically saying how they used to be scared by the song when they were a kid but absolutely loved it now ‘cause it’s Tim Curry being Mr. Sexy Voice for like 2.5 minutes.
Then I had to look it up on YouTube and oh my god, the comments.
Everyone: choking on pollution
Y’all: H A R D E R D A D D Y
Us as kids: Oh no it’s the bad guy!
Us now: [Sexual Tension Intensifies]
Never thought I’d see a cartoon where Tim Curry orgasms on-screen over the thought of destroying a rainforest, but here we are.
We know the real reason he was locked in a tree and this song proves it.
I may be an environmentalist, but if this is what pollution actually looked like, lemme just say I wouldn’t be drinking out of a metal straw.
Every 90’s child’s sexual awaking
thank you all for making me feel less weird about this XD
I can’t stop freaking laughing, oh my god.
(I always liked this scene when I was a kid, too, hahaha).
Do Ships Experience Pier Pressure?
So on my office door, my name is now on one of those wooden thingies instead of just a piece of paper. Does that mean I’m finally cool?
Every. Freaking. Year.
Will I ever learn not to fall behind in the first few days of NaNo?
No.
No I won’t.
Internet Stuff that Makes Me Laugh
‘Cause I’m sad and I want something to make me less sad.
Why are we like this?
Baseball is serious.
This one line in this MST3K short is, like, always on my mind. Anytime I hear someone say “X is hard” or “Y is awful hard” I’m like “life is awful hard” in my mind. I’ve been corrupted.
Uncyclopedia Revisited
So Uncyclopedia is something I’d known about a while ago but had forgotten about until a random Reddit post that I came across today reminded me of it. A parody of Wikipedia, Uncylopedia basically mocks the hell out of everything through one form of humor or another. I think the first (and last?) time I mentioned it was when I was talking about some different Uncyclopedia articles for math-related things (including Newton).
So, of course, having been reminded of Uncyclopedia, I had to spend some time on it this afternoon (when I should have been either working or writing, let’s be honest).
Sample funs:
On the “Alberta” page:
Calgary is most famous for the world famous Stampede where people gather to look at exhibits, go on rides, and wait in line to get trampled on by live-stock.
(regarding housing) The hastily constructed overpriced shacks also have the advantage that the majority of them are spaced 8 feet apart, so if your neighbour screws up your house is torched too. This recently happened in a major NW area in which 8 houses were toasted literally and firetrucks couldn’t get out there quick enough cause the snow was everywhere.
On the “Arizona” page:
Arizona is a 113,998 square mile sand dune located in the western United States.
Arizona has a constant and unwavering year-round temperature of 145 °F (336 degrees Kelvin), and an average of 0.0000000001 inches (2.54 × 10-15 kilometers) of yearly rainfall.
While modern science hypothesizes that at some time the entire planet was covered in water, no evidence exists suggesting Arizona has ever been below the sea level…Billions of years ago, as water on all sides came into contact with Arizona, it was slowly and methodically absorbed by the 50,000 foot high impenetrable wall of sand surrounding its entire perimeter.
On the “New York Mets” page:
The “Los Nuevo York Mets”, are inarguably one of the worst teams in Baseball.
They have won two championships, which is extraordinary, considering there have been about OVER 9000.
On the “Canada” page:
The world looks to Canada for international peace-keepers, since they possess no weapons other than snow shovels, and their jovial accent and flannel clothing are comforting.
The vast majority of Canuckistanians are actually invincible, impotent superheroes, invested with a variety of superpowers ranging from looking at TV or computer screens for entire weeks in winter to understanding the rules of hockey using telepathy and superhuman intelligence. For this reason, Canadians don’t need any form of government or even a military, since every single guy next door can either stop bullets in mid-air or cut through buildings using energy blast from their eyes, but usually they end up playing video games on their computers most of the time since no nation is crazy enough to attack such an intimidating and powerful county in Montana as Canada.
In 1952, the Canadian Air Force bioengineered all Canadians into developing resistance to the harsh winters. The technology involved beautiful fur growing out of their skin during the winter time, that really offers no thermal protection but is solely for repelling mosquitoes. This resulted in thousands of hunters from USA confusing Canadians for bears every winter, therefore explaining why Canada is so underpopulated.
To speak of Canada’s geography is to speak of the great swells of beaver that infest the land.
An early French remark aboot Canada dismisses it as “a few acres of snow”.
(Actually, the whole “Canada” article is fantastic.)
The entirety of the “American-English Dictionary” and “English-American Dictionary” pages.
I am So Indescribably Sad
Why am I so indescribably sad? Who the hell knows.
Party all the time.
Watch Later, Gator
I have 2,947 videos on my “Watch Later” playlist on YouTube.
Do…do I have a problem or is everyone’s “Watch Later” playlist this obnoxiously big?
Also, happy birthday, husband!
VAYCAY
It’s “reading week” here, which is code for a week off from school. We didn’t used to have a whole week off in the fall semester, but they changed that because everyone is always so freaking sad/stressed this time of year.
So I get a week off this week, which basically means “you still have to do prep, but not teach.” Which is fine I guess.
Woot?
Who wants a survey? …No one? LET’S DO ONE ANYWAY
You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station:
M&Ms and Red Bull. That’s probably all $10 would get me, haha.
If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
A sea anemone. Or an octopus. Or one of those ostentatious and weird deep, deep sea dudes.
Whos your favorite redhead?
Sean!
What do you order when you’re at IHOP?
Uh…probably pancakes? The one and only time I was in an IHOP was in 2007 with Maddie and her Boise friends. Don’t remember what I ordered.
Last book you read?
Oh god, I don’t know. Isn’t that sad? I haven’t read for pleasure in quite a few years.
Describe your mood.
*makes farting noises with mouth*
Describe the last time you were injured?
The last time I was “seriously” injured was the Leg Incident on August 9, 2017. Apart from that, there’s been nothing but bruises/cuts/the usual human wounds that just appear from living.
Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Why would I want to subject one of my friends to the bottom of a well?
Rock concert or symphony?
Symphony!
What is the wallpaper of your cell phone?
One of my drawings.
Favorite Soda?
None.
What type of shirt are you wearing?
Tank top, of course.
If you could only use one form of transportation:
WALKING
Most recent movie you have watched in theatres?
UHHHHHHHHHHHH Spiderman: Far From Home?
Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for:
I have the hots for Chris Martin’s voice, does that count?
Whats your favorite kind of cake?
German chocolate
What did you have for dinner last night?
Pasta and broccoli
Look to your left, what do you see?
Jazzy in Nate’s chair!
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
Yes?
Favorite toy as a child?
Art stuff, if that counts.
21. Do you buy your own groceries?
Yup.
22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
Surely.
Whens the last time you had gummy worms?
Not that long ago, actually.
Whats your favorite fruit?
Apples
Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
Nope.
Do you like running long distances?
I like running, yes! I’m trying to get back into long distances.
Have you ever eaten snow?
Yup.
What color are your bedsheets?
Do you honestly think I’m observant enough to know the answer to this?
Whats your favorite flower?
I dunno. Sunflowers are cool.
Do you do ballet?
Hahahahaha.
Do you listen to classical music?
Sure.
What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head?
The Simpsons.
Do you watch Sponge bob?
I used to.
What temperature is it outside right now?
COLD
Do people consider you smart?
Maybe?
How many piercings do you have?
Three.
Are you signed on AIM?
Nope.
Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
Hahaha, WHY
How do you feel about your family?
They’s cool.
Do you have an iPod?
Indeed!
What time do you go to bed?
11 PM if I have to do one of my 4 AM walks. Somewhere between 4 AM and 6 AM if I don’t.
What CD is currently in your CD player?
Nothing.
What movie do you know every line to?
Mystery Men. I know every line to a lot of other movies, too (‘cause that’s what my brain has decided is important), but I could recite Mystery Men with all the dialogue, inflections, and actions without any trouble at all.
What is your favorite salad dressing?
Caesar.
What do you want for Christmas this year?
No idea.
What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where?
Of my “close” family members, it’s my dad down in Boise.
Do you like hugs?
Sure.
Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
The last time I engaged in BUTTERFLY CONSUMPTION
What’s the happiest moment/thing/day you can remember?
That is PRIVATE INFORMATION, SON
Last person you hugged?
Nate!
Oliver Tree is Fantastic
Apparently this whole music video was done for teh memes but I love it anyway and the song is super catchy.
He’s such a weird dude, it’s great.
Also, those pants are everything.
Edit:
NaNo? Nah.
It’s the first day of NaNoWriMo.
So did I write anything today?
No.
No I did not.
Fantastic way to start the month.
(Sorry, I hate myself.)
Congrats, Nats!
Okay, they earned that. Good for them!
I like a lot of Houston’s players, but Scherzer is great and I still dig Cabrera, so I’m glad they won it.
(Now let the Mets win it next year!)
Fear of Fire
Fire is probably my biggest fear. I guess I should be more specific: the thought of the house catching on fire and threatening the people/animals/things I love is probably my biggest fear.
The worst outcome would be if a fire broke out and no one was home. Who would save Jazzy? That’s a terrifying thought: her being trapped in a flaming condo that is up on the third floor. I’ve read that cats are actually pretty good at escaping house fires, but unless the balcony door and/or the windows blew out, she’d be trapped in there. And the fall/jump is a long one. That’s hard to even think about.
If I was home, a fire would still (of course) be terrifying, but I feel like I’d at least have some sort of control. I keep my “essentials” next to me when I sleep; at minimum, this is my hard drive that has all my important documents/pictures/music/etc. on it. That would be easily saved, as I could shove it down my bra or something if I needed both hands free to get out with Nate and Jazzy.
If a fire was threatening from a distance (like in the CNN article), I’m not sure what we would end up taking with us when we fled. Jazzy, of course, and Jazzy provisions. Human provisions. I would take my laptop and a few of my books that I deem irreplaceable. Maybe some of my special trinkets from my trinket shelf?
I don’t consider myself a materialistic person, but I do feel like what we consider “inanimate objects” to still hold a degree of “consciousness,” even if that consciousness is a lot more loosely defined than the way we define it in humans and other living things (this view is very similar to panpsychism). I don’t like the idea of my things burning up in a fire mainly because I feel like they would “know” that they were left behind to be destroyed, if that makes any sense. I know that probably sounds crazy, but that’s how I feel about material things.
Anyway. The fear of fire is on my mind more than is probably healthy, but I always consider it any time I leave the house. It’s why I have three copies of all my important computer stuff and why I try to keep at least one of those copies in a different place than the others (or with me in my backpack) in case something disastrous happens.
Body Check
Dang, it’s too bad this is super expensive, ‘cause I’ve always wanted to do something like this.
I mean, look at all this:
- Personalized health risk assessment
- Advanced laboratory and diagnostic screening based on personal risk profile
- Full physical examination
- Comprehensive medical history and intake
- Full one-hour fitness and functional movement assessment with a kinesiologist
- Full one-hour nutritional assessment and consultation with a registered dietitian
- Immunization review and flu shots
- Comprehensive multi-disciplinary health report and review of recommendations
- Online health management system (Carebook™)
- Post-assessment 30-minute follow-up consultation
C O M P R E H E N S I V E
Every health assessment-related thing I’ve ever done has suggested that everything is perfectly fine, but I’d love the fitness/nutritional assessments and a more detailed health investigation. Most doctors I’ve gone to are from Gritman anyway, and we all know how much Gritman sucks.*
*They suck a lot.
What a Beaut
Hey, friends.
So when I do anything for work that does not require much concentration, such as formatting notes, writing up problem solutions (I usually do a messy version first, so writing up the nice version is just copying what I’ve already done), I like to listen/watch makeup reviews and tutorials on YouTube. I’m not sure why, but these types of videos are really relaxing to me and help me concentrate, even more than listening to something like plain old music does.
So if anyone else would like to check out some good makeup review channels, here are my current favorites:
Enjoy!
When Did You Arrive?
Here is an interesting article about days and times of birth in the United States. It’s interesting, as the article notes, how procedures like C-sections have skewed the distribution of times/days of births where, prior to these procedures becoming commonly used, babies were born pretty uniformly around the clock and through the week.
What day of the week and time of the day were you born? I was a Tuesday baby born (I think) at like 6:52 AM (like an hour before the C-section rush). I was not a C-section but I damn sure didn’t want to come out of there.
What about your birth month? I was a February.
Pretty cool!
Take 5…IF YOU CAN!
Hi.
So Dave Brubek’s “Take Five” is a song you’ve probably heard before, even if you didn’t know what it was.
One interesting thing about it (as you may have noticed) is that it is in 5/4 time, which is not a super common time signature…though it might be for jazz, I’m not sure. I don’t know jazz very well.
ANYWAY, today I found this playlist, which takes “Take Five” and splices out one or more beats (or adds beats) to produce weirder and weirder results.
- Take Four sounds like someone trying to sight-read something written in 5/4 time and failing miserably at it (come on, band friends, we’ve all been there).
- Take Three sounds…nice! I like it.
- Take Two also sounds nice! Sounds like something that would play in a fancy lounge during a movie scene.
- Take One: somebody fORGOT TO TURN OFF THE SAXOPHONE (also, who let an angry gerbil bang around inside a bass drum for like a minute?).
- Take Six sounds like a guy who has to do a saxophone solo but the band is playing in 3/4 time and he’s in 4/4 time and no wait is it 5/4 time huh no wait cut time jesus where in the actual fuck is the downbeat.
- Take 0.25 should win a Grammy.
I love this kind of stuff, it’s great.
Aged Cheese
Something that seems like a sensitive topic for a lot of people is the topic of aging. People don’t like to be called “old” or be told that they look older. People seem to want to conceal their ages the older they get.
I understand this, to an extent. We as a society value youth and young people and see being young as an advantage over being older. Youth is desirable, both at a societal level and (most likely) at a biological level. Youthfulness suggests health and fertility, and that’s what we need in order to keep the species going.
But on a personal level, I don’t see aging in a negative light. I’m not “old” (at least, I don’t think I am!), but I’m definitely not what I’d consider to be a “young adult” anymore. I think I’m finally in the “adult” camp. But that doesn’t bother me. In fact, I kind of like the idea of getting older. Amassing memories, experiences, stories, successes, failures…it’s kind of cool. It’s kind of cool to know that you’ve been on the planet longer than someone else and have seen things that a younger person could not have possibly seen just due to their age (the one I’ve been thinking about recently, as bad as it sounds, is 9/11; I’m just starting to teach people who weren’t even alive for that).
It’s just kinda cool.
Anyway.
UGH
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
I hate my body.
What SORT of nonsense is this?
Yo, nerds, remember when I posted this blog containing a video of visualizations for 15 sorting algorithms?
(Probably not. But I did!)
If that video gave you seizures and you still want to visualize some sorting algorithms, check this video out!
I love sorting algorithms, yo. If you want to read about some of the common ones, check out here and here (click “Sorting algorithms” on the left-hand menu).
Eigenblogger 