She didn’t blind me with science, she blinded me with a laser pointer! And it was on purpose!
Okay people.
This is the last blog before the apocalyptic 666 blog tomorrow. If you find me pinned to the ceiling of my dorm room with thumbtacks and the sign of satan scrawled across my lifeless body, you’ll know why.
Anyway.
Things that are awesome:
Awesome music is awesome. Duh. What’s even more awesome is really beautiful music. Examples:
-The Kiss by Deep Forest. This is off of their “Pacifique” album. Probably the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard.
-Farewell by Apocalyptica. That sounds like an awful metal band doesn’t it? What it is in actuality is a bunch of dudes on cellos playing, essentially, death metal. Yes, you read that right: death metal with cellos. It’s the coolest thing ever, I swear. Though Farewell is not so death-metally.
-One by Apocalyptica. A little more death-metally than Farewell, but cool nonetheless.
-The Swan by Camille Saint-Saens. From Carnival of the Animals. I did a real depressing monologue in my Theatre 105 class to this my freshman semester.
www.passiveagressivenotes.com is also very awesome.
Brian Regan is awesome.
And now I’ve run out of things to list that are awesome.
Sad.
I was going to do a few album covers tonight, but…yeah. That wouldn’t have fit in with the whole “awesome” theme.
Haha, bouts of severe vertigo are fun
Did you ever get that? You’re walking down a flight of stairs and suddenly you get really, really dizzy and have to sit down cause you feel like the earth is moving under your feet? It was rather freaky, if I do say so myself.
Anyway…
Philosophy today seals the deal. Leibniz is my philosopher for the party. Case closed.
IMPORTANT NOTE: when the heck should we have this? AND: you people need to invite more than just yourselves. Anyone who seems remotely fun and who would seem to remotely like to hang out with a bunch of dorks in togas and 17th century costumes who may or may not be philosophizing the whole time (depends on how we swing—philosophers can party, too!), invite them. Just tell me who they are, first.
Onward!
Haha, best comment I’ve ever gotten on a paper in college so far: “It was really well written after the first two pages of rambling. A.”
This was for that paper on Descartes I told you all about. I love Dr. Cannon.
Okay.
So tonight I went on YouTube and essentially watched every sad music video/movie ending I could find. It was a good thing. After all, I haven’t bawled my eyes out in like two weeks, so I was way overdue.
Then I watched the director’s cut ending of The Butterfly Effect and I freaking lost it.
I don’t think I’ve cried that much in months. I think it was the combination of the actual movie ending and the memories surrounding the movie itself.
But I think it was a good thing, you know? The past clings to us like soap residue on a body sponge. Sometimes you just need to leave it under running water for a while.
And that was the best metaphor ever conceived.
I feel better now.
Oh, and do this: go to Wikipedia, and type in “rabbit’s foot.” Read the first sentence under that entry.
Your Blogs Suck, Mine are Better!
You know I’m kidding, of course. I seriously want to avoid alienating you people, cause if I do that, then who will come to my philosophy party?
HOLY CRAP…there are several full episodes of Chicago Hope uploaded onto MySpace! HOLY CRAP!
Life is really, really, really good. Plus, it helps that I have spaghetti and Mr. B’s Lost Shorts from MST3K in my DVD player (not spaghetti and the DVD in the DVD player, I have spaghetti in a bowl. The DVD is in the DVD player. Just thought a clarification was needed there), AND I’m planning an epic Flash.
Plus, one more album cover! I was trying for simplicity on these. And I’ve resorted to actually looking up cool-sounding names and subsequent matching/cool-looking pictures. No more randomness, sorry, I could only take it for so long!
Dear god, I suck at poetry. And Flash. And life.
Haha, best YouTube video description ever: “Steve… in drag… dancing to Journey and eating Oreo’s. But hey, it’s okay… we’re Catholic!!”
I’ve officially realized that I suck incredibly at Flash. The evidence for this claim is really very simple.
Total Flash endeavors that are still saved on my computer: 19
Total Flash endeavors carried out until completion: 3
Success rate: 15%.
It’s a sad, sad, world.
I’ve also officially realized that I suck at poetry. I don’t do poetry by choice much anymore (mainly because—hey—I suck), but the poetry I’ve done in the past is so horribly horrible that it’s worth a good laugh. Though I’ve been published a few times, I think this work of genius that got me in considerable trouble in 4th grade (conservative catholic school, people) is my best piece of poetry ever:
There once was a tart
Who learned how to fart
And stunk up the whole neighborhood.
Then there was a time
When he learned to rhyme
And farted as loud as he could.
He shook all the buildings, structures, and towers
He wilted the weeds, grasses, and flowers.
He made the fish die, salmon and basses
He made people faint with his powerful gasses.
Some army men died
And most their wives cried
And buried them under dead grasses.
Pretty good for fourth grade shenanigans, eh? I’m proud of this piece of poetic contraband that caused a great fuss once it got outside the fourth grade classroom.
I suck at life, too. Really. It’s because I’m so silly and enjoy using phrases such as “poetic contraband” though they don’t really make all that much sense.
Further realizations: Futurama is the best animated series ever. And Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is a great place to go for silly quotes. And general overall humor.
‘Ta!
proc blog; run;
Warning: the contents of this blog resemble a rambling. Do not view if excessive skipping from subject to subject pisses you off.
Warning: excessive exposure to Claudia’s blogs may cause brain aneurisms in approximately 0.005% of the population. If you feel your karma is not up to par at this time, please disregard this blog and go do something productive.
Warning: this blog is not for consumption. Seriously, if you’re that hungry, go get a taco or something.
The title’s origin is a modification of a popular SAS command, in case you’re all, “WTF, that title doesn’t make sense.”
Last night I dreamt in numbers. Seriously. The dream consisted entirely of these statistical equations. What was I doing? Solving them. In my dream. Really, the whole dream was just numbers and equations after numbers and equations. Do I need some sort of psychiatric help?
I find this sad:
If I go to the University of Illinois, I’ll just be moving from one U of I to another.
I find these to be the coolest pants ever (and they shall be mine)
I find this to be a true fact in life:
Pumpkin seeds are the food of the gods.
I find this to be interesting:
Only 2% of people with olfactory deficiencies have them because they are congenital.
I find this depressing at yet shockingly fitting:
The direct translation of “lame” into Latin? Claudus.
I find this conversation with Aneel to be quite amusing (sorry, Aneel):
Aneel: you know what tastes good?
Me: No, what?
Aneel: whipping cream
Aneel: as a beverage
Me: Oh gross!
Aneel: he he
Aneel: ugg I’ll get so fat i will be ginormous
Me: Haha, that’s what you get for drinking freaking whipping cream
Aneel: yeah but you see then i will be all soft and cuddly
Me: And then get dates?
Aneel: no be a recluse
Aneel: but a content happy recluse
Me: “I don’t need human interaction, I have my WHIPPING CREAM!”
Me: Haha, sorry, I’m hyper
Aneel: wish i was sometime
Me: Hyper or a whipping cream recluse?
Aneel: hyper
I find this to be a survey (and hopefully you do, too):
1. Have you ever made out with someone you weren’t dating?
No, can’t say that I have.
2. Is there a difference between the word ‘best friend’ and ‘friend’?
The fact that one of them is not a word but two words, yes.
3. Has anybody on your top ever admitted to liking you?
One, yes.
4. Do you miss anyone?
Nope.
5. Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
Yes.
6. When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
Oh god, it’s been a while now I think…
7. Who is your celebrity crush?
I’m not telling!
8. Can you touch your toes?
Nope.
9. Do you know anybody who was abused?
I don’t think so.
11. Is silence really golden?
No, it’s platinum!
12. Do you have any interesting tattoos or piercings?
Not yet.
13. Are you afraid to grow up?
Nah. After all, I’m almost twenty.
15. Can you count past 100?
Indeed.
16. What language are you taking?
FOL. Yes, I’m counting that.
17. Any upcoming vacations?
Spring break = tours of two potential grad schools.
18. If you had to marry someone on your top, who would it be?
Nick. It’d have to be Nick. He’s just that awesome.
19. Do you care what people think of you?
On occasion.
20. Would you call yourself smart?
Well, I do have a 4.0 and I am taking 25 credits this semester and I am graduating a year and a half ahead of schedule…
21. Do you like to read?
I love to read.
22. Do you own a pair of Nike’s?
Nope.
23. Have you ever touched an elephant?
Not that I recall.
24. Plans for tomorrow?
School. Rec center. Home for weekend fun.
25. Is anything wrong?
Not anything I can think of off the top of my head. I’m excitedly nervous about one or two things, but that’s okay. We’ll see what happens.
26. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends?
I have.
27. Do you want to go to college?
I’m in college!
28. What are you listening to?
“Hide and Seek”, Imogen Heap
29. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
Yes.
31. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading fan fiction and working on a Flash project. I know, I know, dork.
32. Name something you CANNOT wait for?
Graduation!
34. Have you ever talked to Tom?
Not directly.
35. Last thing you ate/drank?
Jolly Rancher!
36. Have you ever run with scissors?
Fool, are you crazy?!
37. Do you like peanut butter?
It’s okay.
38. Who’s making you feel the way you are right now?
Oh, someone.
39. Most visited web page?
MySpace, Facebook, and Google (simply because it’s my homepage).
40. Coke or Pepsi?
Neither.
41. Looking forward to something this weekend?
I don’t think so.
43. Do you have any pets?
Two cats.
44. What’s your favorite number?
11.
45. What are you watching now?
Nothing.
46. Do you know how to swim?
Doggie paddle FTW.
47. Is good grammar attractive?
Aw dang, I do dun like that thar learnin’!
49. Have you known any of your friends your whole life?
My whole life? No.
50. Are any of your friends taller than you?
Almost every single one of them. I think two of them are shorter.
51. Have you ever been ditched by a friend?
It’s called “Jazz Fest 2002: Claudia Gets Ditched by “Friends” and gets Lost on Campus with a Tuba Twice as Big as She is.”
52. Where do your friends live?
Moscow.
53. Have you lost or forgotten a friends phone number?
Haha, are you kidding? Of course!
54. Have you been to most of your friends’ houses?
Quite a few of them.
55. Do you currently like someone?
YAY.
56. Do they like you?
No idea.
57. Do you get bored of your girlfriend/boyfriend easily?
I don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend. But the one time I had a boyfriend, no, I didn’t.
58. Has one of your crushes ever called you self-centered before?
Probably.
59. Who do you want for President?
Me. I would straighten this country out in no time.
Ockham was an Emo
Did you ever stop to think how truly awesome Millard Fillmore is?
And so, another Millard Fillmore Appreciation Week comes to a close, with me failing to make a Flash in time. But never fear! A Flash is indeed underway, and as much as I desperately want to show you the first 38 seconds (or at least tell you what it’s about), I shall refrain, for doing so will allow the anticipation to build and thus make the Flash appear more exciting than it already is.
Did you ever stop to think how rampant one’s id is in one’s dreams?
I’m a horny, id-driven little weirdo in my dreams as of late. I think I’m sexually repressed. Either that or it must be Claudia Mahler mating season or something. I’ve seriously had some sort of intimate relations with three people over the past week in my dreams, and considering I’ve never really dreamt of this kind of stuff before, that’s rather disturbing. Anyway.
Did you ever stop to think how much crap high school teachers let you get away with?
I was digging through a few old CDs that I found at home and on one of them was a bunch of Microsoft Word files from my 11th grade English class. One of my papers opens with this:
“If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound? Does anyone really care? I don’t. That’s why I’m writing this essay on realism instead of whether or not the sound of a crashing tree occurs in the absence of an ear to receive it.”
Now if I recall correctly, I’ve never gotten below an A on a paper in my life, so therefore my teacher must have found some humor in this that prevented her from docking me down to a D just because of such an opening. I mean, this was a formal paper. Who opens with that in a formal paper?!
Wow. Issues. But that’s funny as hell nonetheless.
Okay, I’m done!
A Farm-Thawing Sun (or, “Fun with Anagrams”)
Or, “Hidden Meanings in Popular Phrases”
Or, “Claudia’s Bored Out of Her Mind and Loves Playing with Words”
Or, “Reason 764 Why Claudia Should Not Be Allowed on the Internet”
Or, “Claudia, Stop Making Alternate Titles, STFU, and Get to the Blog”
I kept the most interesting ones. Explanations follow in parenthesis. Enjoy.
The List
“Claudia Mahler”
~Lame Child Aura (oh come now, that’s cruel. It’s my first and last names now!)
~Hula-Clad Ramie (a ramie is an African bush. This does not describe me, but I thought it amusing anyway)
“Claudia Marie Mahler”
~A Hued Malarial Crime (haha, that’s funny, ’cause my last name, in ancient Egyptian, is translated as “Malaria.” Thank you, 7th grade history class.)
~A Radical Mime Hauler (mimes piss me off. And I’m rather radical).
~Hi. A Marmalade Ulcer, I (not grammatically correct, I think, but funny nonetheless).
“The Origin of the Universe”
~Thou Thrive in Foreseeing (ooh, deep!)
~Horniest Refugee Hit Vino (vino is wine, for those of you not knowing. In other words, the horniest refugee hit the wine, thus creating the universe.)
“The Secret of Life”
~Theft of Celeries (kleptos, you hold the secret.)
~The Relic Toffees (quick, archaeologists, search for ancient toffee! This will tell us all!)
~These Feet Frolic (dancing?)
~Of These I Reflect (this would make sense if it were “the secrets of life, but then the anagram wouldn’t work)
~Sit. Feel The Force (haha, creepy. George Lucas knew all!)
“What Blogging Leads To”
~A Bad Wiggle-Thong Lost (hahaha…I totally want a “wiggle thong!”)
“University of Idaho”
~A Fed Rhino Visit You (a tribute to the grammar I’ve seen)
~A Hoofed Ruin. It’s Ivy (haha.)
Yeah. This is why I need school, people.
Aquarians > Everyone Else (except Voltaire—that sexy Scorpio has it all going on)
Yes, I’m satisfying my ego with help of the Zodiac, despite the fact that it, though surprisingly accurate for me, is probably full of as much trickery as any “organized religion.”
Background: I’ve been surfing around on the internet all day for quotes about Aquarians. Here are the best:
“Aliens do exist. We call them ‘Aquarians.'”
“They have a love to which no other sign’s love can compare.”
“Nobody can survive without water.”
“Aquarius: they are nice and fucked in the head.”
“Who gives to all a helping hand,
But bows his head to no command–
And higher laws doth understand?
Inventor, genius, superman–
Aquarius.” (my personal favorite)
Yeah, there are just a few, but it was fun regardless. And no offense to any other sign; you know I love you all. Yes, even you Sagittarians.
Another point of interest: don’t you find the synonyms for the word “trinket” to be the coolest words in the English language? Observe: “bagatelle, bauble, bibelot, curio, doodad, gadget, ornament, sparkler, trifle”…it’s all so splendid.
What do you people want, I’m bored and desperate for school to start again!
Edit: Oh, and read Sartre’s “The Age of Reason.” Good book.
Things you need to do RIGHT NOW*
*Doing all of these things at once will most likely cause a brain hemorrhage. Please use common sense when reading and following advice in Claudia’s blogs.
Books you need to read RIGHT NOW
The Age of Reason by Jean-Paul Sartre
Candide by Voltaire
The Chosen by Chaim Potok
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
On the Beach by Nevil Shute
The Republic by Plato
Songs you need to listen to RIGHT NOW
“Cold Truth” by The Guggenheim Grotto
“Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap
“Largo” (from Xerxes) by Handel
“Tubular Bells” by Mike Oldfield
“When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die” by Moby
Things you need to look at RIGHT NOW
This woman’s tattoo
This older site that I found when I was like twelve
This little thingy
People in positions of high political power that need to be assassinated RIGHT NOW
Oops. Last one just slipped out.
Fun with the Tarot
I found my old little tarot deck today, so I decided to give it a shot, once concentrating on the future of my education and then on—just for giggles—love.
Here we go!
First Reading: Education
Present Position (immediate circumstances): “Use your head and not your heart. Exercise restraint; hold your power in reserve” (hmm…I believe I’m in the process of using my head and not my heart.)
Immediate Influences (obstacles and/or influences): “Disordered, illogical, or rebellious thinking” (aw hell!)
Goal or Destiny (goal and expectation): “Indicates a desire for independence” (This is one of my goals…don’t know if it’s related to my education or not. But if it’s in regard to financial independence, then yeah, it’s related.)
Distant Past Foundation (how the current situation came about): “Top of your game; tough and excellent manager” (I must admit, I think I was at the top of my game during spring of this year. Fall, though, is questionable).
Recent Past Events (what forms the underpinnings of the current attitude): Takes responsibilities seriously and finishes what they start” (very, very true.)
Future Influence (influences in the near future): “A tumultuous relationship has too many ups and downs” (crap, not a relationship!)
About the Questioner (how the questioner feels about the current situation): “Decisions will be made fairly” (I wonder if this regards their letting me take 25 credits next semester…)
Environmental Factors (affecting people and outside factors): “New possibilities and ideas abound.” (Woo-hoo!)
Inner Emotions (fears and wishes): “You are working hard, but more consistent effort is needed” (I do often fear that my efforts are not enough.)
Final Result (ultimate outcome if things continue on their present course): “Success may be delayed” (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!)
Second Reading: Love (this’ll be good)
Present Position (immediate circumstances): “Highly analytical, often pursuing a career” (true, true. No love in sight.)
Immediate Influences (obstacles and/or influences): “You are jaded and bored of life” (I want to loooooooove!)
Goal or Destiny (goal and expectation): “Neglects responsibilities, keeping up appearances regardless of circumstances” (that’s disturbing and depressing.)
Distant Past Foundation (how the current situation came about): “Powers stronger than yours are at work. An impostor is found out” (ha! Hahaha! Oh…wow.)
Recent Past Events (what forms the underpinnings of the current attitude): “It is not what it appears to be” (hmm…)
Future Influence (influences in the near future): “You are jealous when crossed and fickle in your affections” (me? Fickle in my affections? Never!)
About the Questioner (how the questioner feels about the current situation): “Beware of traps” (boy, that’s for sure.)
Environmental Factors (affecting people and outside factors): “Are you squandering money needlessly?” (haha, some future lover will find my eBay obsession horrid!)
Inner Emotions (fears and wishes): “Oh, bright beginnings! Is it the heady start of a love affair?” (oh god, there’s only one person this can pertain to…)
Final Result (ultimate outcome if things continue on their present course): “You feel remorse over a severed relationship” (haha…I’m screwed.)
Now, most importantly: do I believe in the Tarot? I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I am, unfortunately, a superstitious type, though through all rational thought, it makes no sense to me that a deck of special cards could tell about my future and/or my present. But who knows?
It’s fun, regardless.
Theory: Rain Makes People Stupid and Eat Sticks
No joke.
Part One: “Rain Makes People Stupid”
FOR GOD’S SAKE! I didn’t think people could get any dumber on this campus in regards to their walking behaviors, but apparently, they can. So in response to this, I am now laying down a (sarcastic) set of rules for all you people based on my observations today:
1) Being in possession of an umbrella automatically frees you from any rules involving social consideration. Your privileges include being allowed to aimlessly swerve around like a chicken with your head cut off because you fail to realize that you can actually lift your umbrella up slightly so that you can see where you’re going underneath it, carrying oversized umbrellas and not yielding to other walkers on the sidewalk because hell, you’ve got the bigger umbrella, and standing in front of doorways for five minutes as you shake the water off said oversized umbrellas while remaining totally oblivious to the fact that other people would like to pass through said doors.
2) You’re automatically allowed to amble aimlessly and at the speed of 0.000001 miles per hour down the center of sidewalks where doing so does not allow room for people to pass on either side of you because hey—everyone likes to be out in the rain for longer than is necessary, especially when they’re being delayed by a total insensitive idiot.
3) Making such incredibly blatant observations about incredibly glaring issues, such as, “your pants are wet” will be met with such serious and sincere comments such as, “gee, you’re a regular Einstein! I wondered at this sensation of wetness around my ankles and could not put my finger on what was causing it! No no, it takes true genius in the form of an observer pointing out obvious facts to relate such information to the uninformed person to which it is happening! Bravo, good sir! Bravo!”
Freaking people.
Part Two: “…and Eat Sticks”
I go to philosophy today and sit by, as always, some football player who claims to see me specifically at each game (I know I know, football player + philosophy = does not compute, bear with me here). Today, I notice he has his usual cup of overpriced coffee from the coffee shop, but is chewing on what appears to be a stick. I’d say this stick is about five inches long, and about a centimeter in diameter. “Okay,” I think, “he’s gnawing on a stick. A little strange, but I’ll swing with it.”
I swear to god the whole stick was gone by the time the professor finished lecturing.
He freaking ate a stick! I am beside myself. I will never look at football players the same again.
Side point: my philosophy teacher rocks.
Blog 554: In Which Claudia Pretends to be Awesome
(I’m hyped up on about 30 apple Jolly Ranchers at the moment (screw moderation!)—asking for forgiveness in advance)
A Survey I Want All of You Weirdos To Fill Out In Your Glorious Comments To This Blog
1. Claudia has a Flash project that is underway as this is being typed. It is a teaser/trailer for a possible upcoming Flash entitled, “Manifest Destiny: The Story of the Presidents.” Does this intrigue you?
[ ] Mightily!
[ ] Indeed!
[ ] Wait, what?
[ ] stfu u dont kno falsh lol!!!11
2. It is stated in the above question that this is either a “teaser,” meaning that the longer Flash stated in it will not be made, or a “trailer,” indicating that the longer Flash will be made, eventually. Which do you prefer?
[ ] Teaser. Claudia needs to focus on her schoolwork and 22+ credits next semester.
[ ] Trailer. Claudia needs to entertain her friends before they revolt and realize that all she’s good for is typing random surveys in her blogs and making them fill them out.
[ ] Ballroom dance!
3. The best-fitting definition of a “Claudia” is:
[ ] God
[ ] An appletini
[ ] A being of unsurpassable awesomeness
[ ] A being that uses C6H12O6 + 6O2 to make 6CO2, 6H20, and crazy-ass Flash animations
That is all. Please write on the top of your survey your student ID and favorite pair of underwear.
O forf ,u jsot ypfsu!
So I dyed my hair today.
No, no, don’t flip out—it’s very subtle, due to the darkness of my hair. Instead of it being solid black it is now broken up by chunks of understated fuchsia.
That’s a whacked-out word, isn’t it—fuchsia.
Okay, I’m done.
Waiter! There’s an e in my pi (thus meaning he brought me pie! Sweet!)
Question 1: Do you pronounce the word “route” as “rowt” or “root”?
Question 2 (much more important): So the main reason I’m so interested in psychometrics (aside from the awesomeness of item-analysis and such) is to improve how we measure and test for intelligence. I personally think that what we measure to determine “intelligence” does not account for a lot of important things—especially if we redefine intelligence (which I think we should) to relate more to actions and mental states that aim to advance the species (not in that way, you sickos!).
So on to the actual question, something I’ve been mulling over for a while now: is motivation a component of intelligence? I’m not asking if motivation brings about intelligence, I’m asking whether or not two people with equal IQs (let’s just use the IQ number as the definition of what we call intelligence today, just for simplicity’s sake) are actually of different intelligence if one is more motivated than the other. In other words, if we had one person with an IQ of 130 and another person with an IQ of 130, and one of them had little motivation and the other had a lot of motivation, would the one with more motivation be more “intelligent”? What do you all think?
Of course, there are other concepts than just motivation that should be considered when trying to create a new measure for intelligence. So how about you guys tell me what you think should constitute intelligence, so I can see how other people see this topic. Also, do you think such a concept as intelligence can be quantified?
Wee!
What a drag
Despite the stares, the laughs, and the at least four instances of, “oh, I get it, you’re a guy!” (no…really, Einstein?), today was freaking awesome. I honestly didn’t think I’d be that comfortable in male clothing (and facial hair) outside of the drag shows, especially walking around campus. But I did feel comfortable, very comfortable.
Almost to a scary point, actually.
Yeah, it was a good day.
BAH
So I had this really long blog today, all about how I’ve been feeling slighted by people lately, mostly in subtle yet noticeable ways. But I deleted it a) because I don’t feel I should subject you people to constant bitching like a large majority of bloggers do (despite this being my blog, allowing me to write whatever the heck I want), b) because it was basically this “acknowledge my hurt and feel sorry for me, oh ignorant masses” crap that, looking back on it when reading my blogs later on in the year, I probably wouldn’t be very proud of, and c) a lot of it really shouldn’t be said to spare some peoples’ feelings, despite the fact that I still need to get some things off my chest.
So perhaps there will be a private blog sometime in the future, when I get around to feeling as crappy as I did today. But perhaps not.
So there.
Rah-rah-random!
I…
…have doubled my blog views since May 17, 2007 (I’m up to 8,000-some-odd now)
…am lonely.
…have no idea what to do for Halloween. Well, I know I want to dress up, but I don’t know what to go as. I was kind of thinking drag, but I’m not sure.
…think my tattoo shall be the equation for a Pearson r correlation coefficient!
…really wish I could dance well.
…have listened to my audio copy of Candide about twenty times now.
…just got a really cool idea for a Flash set to a really awesome song!
…shall end this blog with a “hooray.”
Hooray!
Whisper me sweet nothings and I’ll beat you over the head with this tuning fork!
So apparently, I’m like the only person who had a good day today. But you know what? Screw it, I haven’t had a good day in weeks. I get this moment!
So rejoice! Here are reasons why today was good:
I love my philosophy teacher. He’s just such a philosophy teacher. His hair’s always messed up, all his long-sleeve shirts are almost worn through at the elbows, and his pants are always, like, two inches too short. I think he knows this, though, because 98% of the time his socks are color-coordinated with his shirt. The coolness factor of that alone makes me long to be a philosophy major, so there’s not much more I can say.
The lights went off in band! The lights went off in band!
I am an essay machine. Seriously, I think I should start selling these bad boys on the internet with really ambiguous and downright naughty titles. Like my essay on Freud’s The Interpretation of Dreams could be entitled The Phallus in the Rough: Oh It’s There, You Just Have to Find It.
I have an A in math. And no, you don’t have to go check, I already have—hell has indeed frozen over.
Actually, I have an A in everything.
As I explained briefly to Matt earlier, today I feel this overwhelming, unbridled love for all humanity that I haven’t felt for weeks—hell, months. It must be the Aquarian in me.
I’ve declared that I shall be giving free lap dances to whomsoever inquires until this mood subsides. And hey, who knows when that will be, so best get crackin’!
Claude tried out his new outfit in full tonight. He looks smokin’.
An exercise in self-exploration
Exercise in self-exploration (suitable for grades 7-college):
Write down all your guilty pleasures. Then read them and realize how weird you really are.
Example for the class:
My guilty pleasures include…
~Having 7+ items on my taskbar at once and going through them (while knowing what each one is and at what point in time I am in for each activity), chuckling with glee as I bask in the awesomeness of my ability to multitask.
~Analyzing my dreams, Freudian style!
~Planning. Everything. Down to the second.
~Being spontaneous. Then realizing that I’d planned whatever it was all along. All of it. Down to the second.
~Surfing around on eBay (I do this way too much)
~On MySpace, going to all my friends’ friends’ pages, then branching off from theirs, and on and on until I reach people in Uzbekistan (true story) in my never-ending quest to find interesting blogs to read.
~Tests and Measurements.
~Fantasizing about everything and anything. I spend a lot of time up in my head, if you don’t already know.
~Reading fan fiction.
~Listening to “O Magnum Mysterium” on full volume in my dorm room with the lights off. It is now a nightly ritual.
~Pretending I’m cool.
~Pretending I’m funny.
~Pretending other people think I’m cool and funny.
Why isn’t “Craig” short for “Craigory”?
This blog hath two sides.
Side 1:
Some of you may have heard me talking about my old friend from first grade who I’d lost track of for years and years. After many, many futile attempts to find her, I’d given up.
Well, she found me yesterday here on MySpace.
It freaking rocks.
Side 2:
I really need to stop being such a loser, you know? I need to stop confusing people and ruining times that would otherwise be good.
Forgive my unpredictability.
Forgive my inability to be a good source of entertainment (at least, the fun kind) when you want me to.
It’s just been a crappy month.
Occam’s Razor seems to have lost its edge
“When life gives you lemons, take off your pants”
I’m going to give this “optimism” thing a shot by looking at all the good things that happened today.
1. Matt’s profile song made me smile. Then dance. Then smile while dancing. And then I almost missed Geography because I was dancing too long.
2. Maggie, the tiara freaking fits my head. How sad is that?!
3. I love my Philosophy class. The content rocks and my teacher reminds me of Sean.
4. And speaking of Sean (I’m such a loser)…
(he’s trying to get me to game with him and he’s talking about ones he’d start me out on)
Sean says: ok, Oblivion it is
Sean says: actually, maybe it’d be better to start with Fable
Sean says: smaller, more linear
Sean says: not so overwhelming to your non-L337 mind
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: You don’t think I’m L337?
Sean says: you’re not a gamer, and I’ve never seen you hack, so I assume you’re not L337
Sean says: I suppose you could be, but I don’t see how if you haven’t even heard of Oblivion…
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: Can you be L337 in anything else?
Sean says: only if it involves computers…
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: PowerPoint!
5. Then, of course, Nick gives me a compliment in his own weird little way :
Nicktropolis says: you!!!!!!
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: Yes?
Nicktropolis says: you quoted plato in your last message
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: Yes?
Nicktropolis says: i mean, in a way that was totally natural
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: And?
Nicktropolis says: i want you to have my children
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: Haha, holy crap, Nick
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: That is disturbing!
Nicktropolis says: what
Nicktropolis says: philosophy is sexy
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: True that
Nicktropolis says: you are now on the fast track to becoming awesome
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: Yay!
Nicktropolis says: if that is, in fact, humanly possible
Nicktropolis says: because i don’t think it is
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: Aww
(thanks Nick!)
6. And I dork around with Maggie. Can you tell it’s late at night here?
Oh, My God. Shoes. says: happy dance ^.^
Oh, My God. Shoes. says: well, as dance like as it can get without involving standing up.
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: Standing up is for lame people
Without an Absolute, I Can Be Absolutely Fine says: But not literally lame, because then it would be opposite
Weirdo.
Plus, from the looks of my profile map, I appear to have invaded the East Coast like some sort of plague That makes me happy.
Blog 498: the countdown to 500 has begun
Today I present to you a list of all my Flash works up to the present, and a list of all my quizzes up to the present. Because I have absolutely nothing else I want to say today.
Flash
Cheech and Chong’s “Dave” done with Millard Fillmore
The infamous “Aneel” animation
First old-timey/first with an actual plot…sort of
“Pilgrim”
The even more infamous “The Matt Farnsworth Experience” animation
Quizzes
What Member of ‘Team America’ are You?
Which Founding Father are You?
Lewis and Clark: Which One are You?
What Shape are You?
What Punctuation Mark are You?
What is your Temperament?
Your Color Personality
Have fun with that.
The Periodic Table revisited!
Boredom. Pure boredom.
THIS IS WHY I NEED SCHOOL, PEOPLE!
Eigenblogger 