It’s gonna be short (JUST LIKE ME!!!!) so let’s goooooooooooo

• I still can’t believe I got Ohtani in fantasy baseball this year. He’s having a historic season (and I’m STILL probably not going to come out on top, haha).
• Hahaha, oh my god:

• A cool reference (even if it is from WSU) for common errors in the English language.
• Speed Racer was an absolutely unhinged show.

• GOD I miss pre-COVID times, don’t you?
• I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I may be masking for the rest of my life. Not sure how I feel about that.
• Maybe we’ll get hit by an asteroid in the next several years and the earth can just do a hard reset. It deserves it.
• Now I’m sad, bye.

Bwa bwa bwa, who cares.

• Me with my fantasy baseball team: “I love all my players and will never trade them because I’m loyal and I believe that they’ll play to their potentials!”
  Also me with my fantasy team: “EOVALDI YOU BAG OF FARTS”
• The warm weather has been super mild so far this year. Not too hot, a good amount of rain, and almost zero smoke. Can it always be like this? [edit from late July: IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE]
• It’s not summer until you can see my Garmin tan from space.

• So remember that blog post I made about that AI-generated song “I Glued My Balls to my Butthole Again”? Well, the video I’d linked to the song got deleted, so now there’s no video on that post and I’m stuck with the tag “i glued my balls to my butthole again” without any context. That’s actually pretty hilarious.

END!

(Not really.)

• Look at how good the color of these pants and the colors of these shoes go together. I dig it.

• I CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK TO MOSCOW WLKERFJALFHFLHSDFLKDFJGDFLHG
• I’m also nervous about it. Mainly about the border. At least I’m not flying, eh?
• Ancestry now claims to be able to determine your “ethnicity inheritance,” showing which ethnicities come from which parent. My mom is so freaking European, haha.

• What is this and why is it hilarious?

• I’m glad I’m teaching in the summer this year and not the spring. I think it’s nicer to get a bit of a break directly after the winter semester as opposed to right before the fall semester.

END!

• OH MY GOD

• I am 100% obsessed with how much of a silly nerd Nick Gehlfuss is. He’s like the polar opposite of the character he plays on Med.

Edit: of course he’s an Aquarius.

• I am thankful for my unfailing ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. It sounds like so many people have trouble either falling asleep or staying asleep at night, but I am definitely not one of those people. I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime, and stay asleep through pretty much anything.
• “Pretty much anything” includes 15 alarms, though, so sometimes it’s a less than ideal arrangement.

THAT’S ALL!

• I’ve been watching Chicago Med on Netflix. It’s no Chicago Hope, but it’s pretty good. It’s got Oliver Platt in it, so that’s snazzy. I also really like the actor who plays Dr. Halstead (Nick Gehlfuss). I’ve never seen him in anything else, but I like him in this. Seems like a cool dude.
• This is great.
• Oooh. Journals.
• This is a super cool idea for a clock.

• Remember RAB? Remember how much we quoted that in college? I miss those times sometimes.
• Get ready for a CRAP TON of book reviews over the coming month or so. It’s supposed to be obnoxiously cold for weeks (like, in the -30s), so I’ll be stuck inside using the treadmill and burning through books.

BYE!

• Does anyone even care about these?

That’s it. That’s the list.

• Make icebergs and see how they float.
  
• There’s a realtor up here named Ken Richter and his realty signs are the most fantastically nerdy things I’ve ever seen. He plays on the whole “Richter Scale” theme. I always want to take a picture of one but there’s always people around and I always feel weird about taking pictures of…well, anything in public.
  (Except other peoples’ cats.)
  
• Edit: I found the Remax website that talks about him and they have the little scale graphic he uses:

• Was anyone else absolutely terrified of Gossamer when they were a kid (and perhaps even now)? I think I’ve mentioned this before on here at some point, but I saw a .gif of him on Twitter and now I’m freaking traumatized.

I’ve had the opening song to “The Pajama Game” stuck in my head ALL FREAKING DAY, so here it is for you to get stuck in your head as well:

UGH I don’t have much to say today, sorry. Life is meaningless and the world is a constant disappointment.

• I’ll be eligible to apply for Canadian citizenship this year, but it sounds like there’s quite a backlog due to COVID. So who knows when it’s going to happen. I’m definitely going to apply for it, though.
  
• I think once everything gets back to normal and stabilizes (when will that happen? Who the hell knows), I’m going to try to get certified to do solo skydiving jumps. I really enjoyed tandem skydiving when I did it back in 2011 and I have enough money now to feel like I can safely drop some on this program. Like, how cool would that be?
  
• I’m still truckin’ away on Ghost Town Realty. Is it any good? Hell no. But it’s been a fun story to work on and the only story I’ve ever written that I feel like actually completing.
  
• I still have to get that bridge done in my mouth but I’m SUPER TERRIFIED of doing it. Not ‘cause of the possible pain (it can’t be worse than the “lol Novocain does nothing to me” tooth incident) but because there are so many more COVID cases in Alberta right now than there were when I got all that dental work done last summer. Plus all the variants.

UGH I DON’T KNOW I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE THAT’S INTERESTING BYE

• I’m 62.23 miles away from hitting the 5,000 mile mark for this year’s walking distance eeeeeeeeeeee!
  
• I can’t imagine being a healthcare worker during all of this, especially someone who’s considered “frontline.” Don’t they just want to punch everybody at this point?
  
• I hate winter. Hate, hate, hate it.
  
• Nate and I watched Deadpool 2 the other day and there was a reference to how Rob Liefeld cannot draw feet. That made me re-read this article, which is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever found on the Tubes. “His pants are so uncomfortably tight that his groin is puckering into some sort of overachieving asterisk” is a fantastic sentence.
  
• No, I will never stop referring to the internet as the Tubes. Fight me, Al Gore.
  
• The only thing bad about the above article is that it reminds me of grad school at UBC, ‘cause I stumbled across it one day while I was avoiding work on my thesis.
  
• GOD those two years were just terrible. I remember when they banished me to the Botany Annex building because they needed more room for the Personality students and figured “LOL the quant student is expendable, let’s throw her in a trash building with minimally-functioning heat and tiny windows, maybe she’ll just die in there.” It was always so cold and so dark and I spent most of my time pondering the consequences of just quitting the whole stupid program.
  
• UGH now I’m sad.

End of list.

• Unpopular opinion/preference: I prefer pants that do not have pockets. Pockets are bulky and they bunch up. Plus I never utilize them.
  
• Another unpopular opinion: I freaking love cardio. It seems like a lot of people really dislike it, but I’ve always enjoyed it and definitely prefer it to weight training.
  
• I got put on a (very subjective) “Best Professors at the University of Calgary” list.
  
• The snark in this is fantastic.
  
• This song (and its music video) is a mind trip.
  
• Did you guys have a lot of Klutz books when you were kids? I did. My mom always got me Klutz books for Christmas and the like. ANYWAY, this was one of my favorite ones. I’m almost tempted to get another copy and see how much of it is still accurate (it was written in 1994).
  
• This is the absolute cutest little thing ever.

BYE!

• This is stuck in my head now oh my god why
• Hahahaha, oh my god. The skull smashing into the boxes is a mood:

It's October so that means I get to post one of the best videos on the internet again.

🎥: @TomStheVoice

Originally tweeted by Steggy (Jeff Stegner) (@Steggy) on October 2, 2020.

• Want some mid-90s to early 2000s Geocities vibes? Me too!
• I’m sorry, but…is this Microsoft Word merch? Is that a Clippy sticker????? Oh my god, I remember Clippy. Why are these stickers so tempting?
• Practice cutting loaves of bread exactly in half. Because internet.
• I miss Market Mall so freaking much. I miss malls in general so freaking much.

Sorry for all the links, yo. Life is meaningless and so is this blog!

• Mongolian BBQ survived the (first round of) the pandemic. THANK THE GODS.
• Someone tell me why my fucking toenail is turning into a concrete brick. Here’s a picture. That fugly bit at the front? That’s not the top of my toenail. That’s the width of the thing. What in the ever-living ass goblins, guys. I can’t trim this toenail because it literally will not fit into any nail clipper. I’m going to have to get like dog nail clippers or something. (Yes, there are sock fuzzies all over my toes.)

• I’m sorry, but are we really assuming that people are staying completely inactive during these quarantines? Exercising without a gym is a thing. I get that not everybody has the ability to do that, but I think most people, at least in the US and Canada, live in a situation where they could go outside and just walk around on occasion. And if not, what about exercising in the house? 
• Did you know that there is a maximum number of videos that you can have in the “Watch Later” playlist on Youtube? Apparently there is, ‘cause I just hit it today.
• To add a little structure to my book list choices, I think I’m going to choose my next books “alphabetically” in the sense that I’ll have to pick a book from the books starting with each letter. For example, I just finished As I Lay Dying (my “A” choice) and am reading The Bonfire of the Vanities (my “B” choice), so the next book I’ll read will have to start with a “C.” Just to make things easier.
• Here’s another little tree picture I took on a walk. I did a bit of Photoshop to it to give it a little effect. Do you like it?

• Hahaha, sorry, what? I feel like there’s a story behind this very specific piece of advice.

• This is such a weird freaking baseball season. Watch the Mets not make the playoffs in a season where like 80% of teams are going to be in the playoffs.
• These are beautiful little objects.
• Need some ambient noise?
• Here’s a calculator to approximate your risk of getting COVID from certain activities.
• I love how all the nonsense in 2020 just hasn’t been quite enough for the US, so the universe was like “lol let’s add some raging forest fires in the west” just to make things more interesting. How much do you want to bet that Trump either a) completely ignores these fires or b) somehow blames them on the Democrats?
• Edit from September 12: so three states are ON FIRE and Trump has said nothing publicly. Called it.

• This is going to be a short list because this month has been boring as all hell.
• Look, see, I just put that above sentence as a bullet point to artificially increase the length of this list!
• That previous sentence, too! SOMEONE STOP ME
• I just logged onto Newgrounds for the first time in like three years and re-watched all the RAB videos. It’s good to know my sense of humor has not changed over the past 14-ish years.
• I need one. I am constantly cold in the winter even when we crank the thermostat.
• I love my Garmin and it does absolutely everything that is essential for me when I walk/run, but man, it’s so tempting to get one of the fancier models just to be fancier. Like this one. Or this one.
• Want exercises for certain muscles/muscle groups? Here’s a nice collection!

See? I told you it was short.

• I’m at the point with my team in Out of the Park that I’m good enough to be bumped into the perfect league but not good enough to stay in it for more than a season. So I keep bouncing back and forth between having a great season in the diamond league, getting bumped up and having a horrible season in the perfect league, and getting bumped back down to the diamond league. I have a feeling this will go on for a while.
• I have a feeling that there are going to be a LOT of dental visits this summer. Not looking forward to that.
• I have the urge to READ, which I haven’t had for a while. Probably because I haven’t read (fiction) in a while. Whenever I start up again, I remember how much I enjoy it.
• My urge to read will probably diminish once work starts up again, though, which is sad.
• OH SHIT I just realized that I’ve had On The Beach checked out for like half a year now from the U of C library. Maybe COVID will save me from library fines, since I don’t think the library is open at all right now (including the book drop-off thingy).
• I miss the U of I library, man. Compared to pretty much every other library I’ve seen (except for maybe UBC’s), they had a very wide selection of books. It was also a good place to camp at one of the computer stations and work or find a secluded little desk and practice calculus. I spent hours doing that when I came back for my math degree in 2012.
• I think I’ve mentioned this holographic nail polish on here before, but if not, BEHOLD!

The end?

• Want a good remix of Eiffel 65’s Blue? Here ya go! It should go without saying, but this sounds fantastic on the Sennheisers.
• My arm eruptions have calmed down as of late. My skin must have “hardened” against the UV light. If so, then it did so faster than it did last year. I remember still having problems in mid-June last year.
• Hahaha.

• Hahaha, oh my god: