WHY IS THIS SURVEY SHOUTING AT ME, ONLY *I* CAN TYPE SURVEYS IN ALL CAPS
You should be proud, I made it to the 8th without doing a survey.
1. WOULD YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR LAST EX IF YOU COULD?
Ehhhhhhhh…I dunno.
2.WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
It’s striped…it’s a tanktop thingy…that’s about it.
3. WOULD YOU KISS ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND’S LIST?
Oh heck yes (I have, too).
4. DO YOU HAVE “A THING” FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP FRIENDS LIST?
…maybe.
5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
Every single one, except for the two bands I’ve got on here.
6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
ZERO!
7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
Yes. Yes I do.
8. WHAT’S A TRAIT/HABIT OF YOURS THAT YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE?
The fact that I have the worst facial recall/recognition of anyone I’ve ever met. You could have had every single class with me since college started, but I would never remember your face or the fact that we’ve interacted unless you’ve spoken to me more than once. I think I have a deficiency.
9. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
I like my name. But I wouldn’t mind any other, since none of the others mean “LAME”!
10. WOULD YOU EVER MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME SEX?
Depends on whether or not I found them attractive.
11. WHAT THINGS MAKE YOU HAPPY?
Having set plans, achieving my goals, achieving my goals in record time, a song with a good techno beat, COLOR!
12. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BDAY?
Heck, I don’t remember.
13. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE CANDY?
M&Ms!
14. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
Somewhere around ten.
15. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT 3 NIGHTS AGO?
You expect me to remember three nights ago?!
16. WHO IS THE BEST TEACHER YOU’VE EVER HAD?
Oh my, that’s a tough one. In high school, it was probably Mr. Kaag or Mr. Garrett. In college, I’d say Joseph Cannon, my AWESOME philosophy teacher.
17. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
Wait, what? Ow!
18. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT TO DO?
Graduate!
19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
Today!
20. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
There are quite a few things, actually.
21. WHAT DO YOU LOVE?
Psychometrics, Antarctica, colors, VOLTAIRE, philosophy, planning my future.
22. IF YOU HAD $250,000…HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
College. And eBay.
23. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
Not employed, bitch!
24. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
I’ve sent him a nasty email regarding MySpace’s inability to work when I want to blog.
25. DESCRIBE WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING?
It’s white. The end.
26 LAST THING YOU ATE?
Jolly Rancher!
27. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
February.
28. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
November. It just drags on…
29. WHAT’S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
Boxers, from Maggie.
30. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
Myself.
31. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
MySpace.
32. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
Don’t text message.
33. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU PISSED?
Myself.
34. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I don’t have a best friend.
35. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINK?
Water.
36. FAVORITE FOOD?
Pasta
37. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Pasta! Oh, wait.
38. HAVE YOU BEEN TO EUROPE?
Yes indeed.
39. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Dance?
Fillmore Fact: Ever wonder about the weird name of “Millard” and what drugs his parents were on when they named him? Apparently, Millard was his mother’s maiden name. Her name was Phoebe Millard.
I love you, Wikipedia.
Dear University of Idaho:
I think I should send this to the president of the University. I think it makes reasonable demands (except possibly for number 5). Humorous parts that would not be included in the actual letter are in italics.
This is a list compiled by a member of your Student Body who, upon hearing faculty, staff, and other students complain about the University, and being fed up herself, decided to create this petition in hopes you will listen to the pleas of your employees and students. Thank you.
Declaration of New Organization and Order
and
Calling of Attention to Major and Minor Inconveniences
We the Associated Students and General Employees of the University of Idaho petition the University to:
01. Create a uniform template to which all department websites must adhere.
We declare that there should be a sense of uniformity to the department websites to a) lessen confusion over hard to navigate and confusing web pages, b) create for each department a resource to which students can turn to grow informed of each department’s specific requirements and general goals, and c) allow for a thorough covering of all topics a department website should cover.
Said topics should include but are not limited to:
a) What programs the department offers (be they Bachelor’s, Master’s, minors, etc.)
b) Links to each program’s specific website, which should all also be uniform in nature
c) The email addresses of the important figures in the departments
d) The general department requirements
e) Information about the faculty and staff employed in the department
f) A list of courses offered
02. Offer, if there is offered a minor and a Master’s and/or a PhD program in a specific discipline, the Bachelor’s program as well.
We declare that if further education degrees at and above a Master’s degree are offered in a specific discipline, the Bachelor’s degree should be offered as well, to those seeking either more than a minor or those looking to go straight through a program at the University.
03. Have the University Bookstore order enough books for the classes offered.
We declare that the University Bookstore should order at minimum as many books per class as the maximum number of students in the class. Having students left without books on the first day of classes due to the fact that the bookstore was “out” is unacceptable.
If, however, this is not possible for some reason, we declare that students seeking books that the University Bookstore is currently out of should be put on a mailing list by the bookstore, through which they will be immediately notified when the shipment of books arrives, thus preventing multiple inconvenient trips to the bookstore to check whether or not the books have arrived (or, at the very least, keep the University Bookstore website’s textbook stock information up to date).
04. Fix the Brink Hall situation
And by “fix the Brink Hall situation” I mean either,
a) move all the offices out of the building and just abandon it;
b) knock the damn thing down; or
c) equip all students with handheld GPS devices, as nearly 2/3 of students who enter Brink hall are either never found, are found but are lying in a fetal position after dying from thirst/hunger/suicide from not being able to find the exit, or finally get free after wandering around aimlessly for at least half an hour before ending up where they were supposed to be by accident and are told by a Brink resident where the secret “open sesame” door is to get back out.
05. Offer employees free and total access to the University of Idaho Recreation Center.
We declare that all full-time employees should receive free and total access at all times of business to the Recreation Center. Both the University and the individual employees themselves would reap the benefits of accessible exercise opportunities.
06. Provide every student and professor with a map of the TLC.
We declare that the layout of the TLC warrants the expense of printing thousands of maps for the teaching community and the student body. Both students and professors alike would benefit from and appreciate a map of the building, and it would help to lessen anxieties about finding classes on the first day of the semester. Failing this, just go find the M. C. Escher-turned-architect who designed the building and beat the hell out of him for us.
07. Cease selling apparel at the University Bookstore that promotes drinking.
We declare that the apparel promoting drinking and poor drinking habits (such as the “I’m a Vandal, Beer Me!” apparel) should not be endorsed and sold by the University Bookstore. While we appreciate the liberal attitudes the University often attempts to adopt, we feel that this apparel promotes poor drinking habits and therefore feel it is not in the best interests of the University to make light of, encourage, or profit from the exploitation of poor college drinking habits.
08. Put up the correct spring and fall schedules on the Class Schedules website.
We declare that the Registrar’s office should be organized enough to list the correct semester and the correct classes for that semester on the Class Schedules website. It is unacceptable to encourage students to plan their schedules off of this website and then to change it so close to actual registration due to such a glaring error such as putting up the last spring semester’s schedule instead of the current one.
09. Put scales in the locker rooms at the Rec Center.
Seriously, just buy two freaking scales and throw ’em in the locker rooms. People will be happy.
10. Supply all dormitories and each wing of Wallace with bins for recycling.
We declare that the University of Idaho should take steps to promote recycling by implementing “recycling centers” in all of the dorms. While we recognized that the University is already making an effort to increase campus recycling, we think the effort should extend into the dorms, as we know of many students who hoard their recycling in their rooms only to have nowhere convenient to drop it off. We would be happy to further discuss the logistics of this operation in further detail with whomever you deem in charge of the plan.
Ha.
In much, much lighter news,
HAPPY MILLARD FILLMORE APPRECIATION WEEK!!
And more so,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MILLARD FILLMORE!!
I shall now commence with the run of Fillmore Facts, following last year’s success (oh, and don’t worry. I’m totally making a Flash.)
Fillmore Fact: Millard had the highest number of votes that has ever been accrued by any third party candidate (both prior and since) when he ran in the 1856 election.
Stay tuned for more!
A Farm-Thawing Sun (or, “Fun with Anagrams”)
Or, “Hidden Meanings in Popular Phrases”
Or, “Claudia’s Bored Out of Her Mind and Loves Playing with Words”
Or, “Reason 764 Why Claudia Should Not Be Allowed on the Internet”
Or, “Claudia, Stop Making Alternate Titles, STFU, and Get to the Blog”
I kept the most interesting ones. Explanations follow in parenthesis. Enjoy.
The List
“Claudia Mahler”
~Lame Child Aura (oh come now, that’s cruel. It’s my first and last names now!)
~Hula-Clad Ramie (a ramie is an African bush. This does not describe me, but I thought it amusing anyway)
“Claudia Marie Mahler”
~A Hued Malarial Crime (haha, that’s funny, ’cause my last name, in ancient Egyptian, is translated as “Malaria.” Thank you, 7th grade history class.)
~A Radical Mime Hauler (mimes piss me off. And I’m rather radical).
~Hi. A Marmalade Ulcer, I (not grammatically correct, I think, but funny nonetheless).
“The Origin of the Universe”
~Thou Thrive in Foreseeing (ooh, deep!)
~Horniest Refugee Hit Vino (vino is wine, for those of you not knowing. In other words, the horniest refugee hit the wine, thus creating the universe.)
“The Secret of Life”
~Theft of Celeries (kleptos, you hold the secret.)
~The Relic Toffees (quick, archaeologists, search for ancient toffee! This will tell us all!)
~These Feet Frolic (dancing?)
~Of These I Reflect (this would make sense if it were “the secrets of life, but then the anagram wouldn’t work)
~Sit. Feel The Force (haha, creepy. George Lucas knew all!)
“What Blogging Leads To”
~A Bad Wiggle-Thong Lost (hahaha…I totally want a “wiggle thong!”)
“University of Idaho”
~A Fed Rhino Visit You (a tribute to the grammar I’ve seen)
~A Hoofed Ruin. It’s Ivy (haha.)
Yeah. This is why I need school, people.
Plan:
Did you know…
…that there are 97,978 waiting list candidates waiting for an organ donation?
…that the average waiting time for a kidney is 1,121 days (which is a longer wait than for any other major organs, hearts and lungs included)?
…that Sacred Heart Medical Center up in Spokane does kidney transplants?
Conclusion: I want to donate one of my kidneys to someone in need of one. When? No idea. But I want to. New goal in life.
“Crazy,” you say? Hell, somebody out there—many people out there—need a new kidney to survive. Why not do my part?
Okay, I’ll shut up now.
Make it a parade, MAKE IT A PARADE!
You know what I realized walking around in the mall a few days ago? The “popular” fashions today suck. I know, I know, “duh,” you say. But I must, for the sake of my sanity, point out to others the ones that bother me the most:
Chandelier earrings
Particularly those of the variety where crappy, poorly-spraypainted to look like high-end gold wire holds up strings of crappy beads (see picture). The majority of chandelier earrings are pieces of crap that are all basically identical no matter how often manufacturers label them as “unique.” Sure, there are a few exceptions (I’ll show you one when we get back to school, for example) but most suck. End of story.
Those huge sunglasses with the white frames
What the hell?! Are these supposed to make you look attractive? Sure, I guess if you’re trying to attract, say, flies, as the fact that these sunglasses make your eyes look to the same proportion in relation to your body as flies’ eyes do to theirs, I guess if that’s what you’re going for…
Otherwise, stop wearing these pieces of pop-princess-created crap goggles.
Those ghastly “babydoll” tops
Oh my god. I HATE these. Whoever designed this particular style of shirt should be shot. Since when is it attractive to drape yards of fabric around your upper body, completely destroying any shape of a figure you may have, so that you look like a freaking blob of torso? I think the only people these shirts look good on are those who have absolutely no boobs. And these shirts do not show off one’s boobs at all. Really.
The tank tops that go down to your crotch in length
I dub this “the shirt they created to quash protests about really overweight people showing off too much stomach/butt crack when wearing their low-rise jeans” shirt. It appears they had to compensate their making jeans too low by making shirts extra long now. That’s just great, except for the rest of us who are decent enough to wear pants that actually fit and really dislike having tank tops that fit like short dresses. Plus, now all people do is constantly pull these long tank tops down over their butt cracks anyway, a motion which, if repeated every single time a person gets out of their seat, gets really annoying.
The “let’s ruin a perfectly good t-shirt by putting some crappy design or text on it such as Tweety or “Princess” or “I’m a hoe and I felt the need to express it on my t-shirt” style (otherwise known as the “graphic tee”)
Wal-Mart carries a lot of these. They take perfectly good t-shirts that are manufactured in perfectly good colors and tack on a crappy graphic—a skull or a fairy or whatnot—and make it a worthless conformist piece of crap that I for one will not be caught dead in. What’s worse is when they put so-called “witty” phrases on them, such as “Bitch Princess” or “MILF” or “Ron Paul is my homeboy” or “Fuck me” (in Japanese characters, of course). This annoys me to no end. Seriously.
Capri pants
Aside from the fact that they’ll make you look frumpy if you have any body type other than the body of a 5’9, 115 pound model, Capri pants have no real function. Really. If you’re that hot in pants, wear shorts. Or a dress, even. It’s not like you’re going to go wading in water in the city streets, smart one. Capris suck.
Wedge heel shoes
Not only do these make you look like an idiot, they basically prove you’re an idiot, especially when you try to walk on cobblestones, snow, snowy cobblestones, and, hell, every type of terrain save a completely flat basketball court. Come on, people. You live in Moscow. Odds are, you know that it snows here and that campus is not a flat, bump-free terrain. Why, oh why do you women wear these completely idiotic shoes around? I must admit, though, it is a laugh, watching you try to look graceful after nearly snapping your ankle in half because your stupid wedge heel got caught in a crack in the sidewalk.
Fair warning, though—if you’re lying on the side of the sidewalk, crying and whining that you’ve twisted your ankle and I see that you’re wearing these shoes, I’m not going to help you.
The “sneakers that fail to cover 90% of the top of your foot, thus qualifying them as sandals but yet they’re still sold at the full sneaker price (but look on the bright side; the bonus you get is that you look like an idiot!)” sneakers
These are ballerina slippers gone mainstream, and they make your feet look really, really deformed. Plus, they’re freaking expensive, especially for the fact that you’re getting gypped on the product because they carve out an unnecessarily large amount of the top of the shoe to make it “cool.” Just wear sandals if you want to show off your feet so much, okay?
/rant
Aquarians > Everyone Else (except Voltaire—that sexy Scorpio has it all going on)
Yes, I’m satisfying my ego with help of the Zodiac, despite the fact that it, though surprisingly accurate for me, is probably full of as much trickery as any “organized religion.”
Background: I’ve been surfing around on the internet all day for quotes about Aquarians. Here are the best:
“Aliens do exist. We call them ‘Aquarians.'”
“They have a love to which no other sign’s love can compare.”
“Nobody can survive without water.”
“Aquarius: they are nice and fucked in the head.”
“Who gives to all a helping hand,
But bows his head to no command–
And higher laws doth understand?
Inventor, genius, superman–
Aquarius.” (my personal favorite)
Yeah, there are just a few, but it was fun regardless. And no offense to any other sign; you know I love you all. Yes, even you Sagittarians.
Another point of interest: don’t you find the synonyms for the word “trinket” to be the coolest words in the English language? Observe: “bagatelle, bauble, bibelot, curio, doodad, gadget, ornament, sparkler, trifle”…it’s all so splendid.
What do you people want, I’m bored and desperate for school to start again!
Edit: Oh, and read Sartre’s “The Age of Reason.” Good book.
Immature Humor Fun Time
This may be the immature, childish side of me talking here, but I thought this was freaking hilarious.
And here are a few even more hilarious comments from another website where this was posted:
“The Tiddy Bear. That is wildly inappropriate.”
“I have two tiddys”
“Yeah, but not as fun as a titty bare.”
“Quit Staring at my Tiddies!!”
“And now try our newest product…The Pussy Cat!”
“How in the fuck did that thing get patented?”
“i love it! just as much as Tids! i mean tits!”
“some of those tiddys were pretty nice!”
“The titty bear, it motorboats your boobs while you drive lol”
Oh my.
Blog 610: Entering The New Year (note: this blog has nothing to do with entering the new year)
Onward!
ONE!
I’m getting one of these, because they intrigue me beyond all reason.
TWO!
I watched this show all the time when it was on the Discovery Health Channel, and now it’s gone. ‘Tis sad. It’s Chicago Hope, by the way.
THREE!
Maggie, your animation will arrive in due time. And by “due time,” I mean sometime within the next year. Keep in mind it took me four months for Matt’s. And that was during the summer, when I had nothing else to do. Don’t worry, though, you’ll get it.
FOUR!
I passed 10,000 blog views a matter of minutes ago!
END!
Goodbye, 2007 (or, as I’m calling it, Year of the WTF JUST HAPPENED!?”)
(why “Year of the WTF JUST HAPPENED?!”? Because it was a freaking rollercoaster, that’s why.)
Wee! Last day of 2007. Overall, I’d give it a 6.1 out of 10. Some parts rocked. Some parts downright sucked. So here we go with another obligatory end of the year ritual: the status of goals set last New Year’s, plus new goals for next year!
Last Year’s Goals
~Keep a 4.0: check
~Go to the rec center three times a week: fail
~Get a date: check!
~Get a life: fail. Fail, fail, fail.
Bonus Goals Tacked On at the Last Minute
~Watched Futurama incessantly until all episodes were committed to memory: check
~Acquired dozens of pieces of crap from eBay: check
~Realized that I don’t need a “life” to be awesome: check
~Developed many emotional attachments to many dead or fictional people: check
New Year’s Resolutions
~Keep the 4.0
~Go to the rec center three times a week
~Keep a journal (on my blogs, of course) of my weird, weird dreams
~Actually start studying for the GRE sometime before I have to take it
~Make at least one decent Flash animation.
Is it sad that that’s all I can think of right now? I think it’s sad.
I’ll add more later.
The Year In Review: Blog Style
Just what the title says. Read on, blog lovers, read on!
January: This basically sums up January in the sense that it sums up the insane posting of poetry, insults, stories, and other totally random crap on others’ Facebook walls by me during the whole month. January was fun, as I recall.
February: This isn’t much of a blog, but it signifies the in-depth studying of the French Enlightenment that was going on at the beginning of the year. I miss that. Extremely.
March: The U of I sucks and I explain why.
April: Ag Sci. The love begins.
May: Psycho de Mayo. This was good.
June: Review of working. This list makes me laugh.
July: This blog describes my dream about Sartre. I’m putting this one here because I had a lot of weird dreams in July.
August: The private-made-somewhat public blog. Yeah. The first half of August wasn’t too great.
September: What amuses me about this blog is the comment I made after it: “I totally should have used ‘wake me up when September ends’ as my title, but I’m actually more amused at my ability to work both the phrases ‘pity party’ and ‘Cheez-Its’ into the same title.”
October: The month that supported preexisting accusations that the University of Idaho is about as competent a university as their football team is prepared for a bowl game.
November: Highlight of the month. Oh my.
December: The bout of hyperness at the beginning of the month is worth noting in this blog.
BONUS!!
Year’s Funniest Blog: The Second Continental Chatroom – February 7, 2007
Year’s Bitchiest Blog: Claudia gets pissy (watch out!) – January 26, 2007
Year’s Most Pointless Blog: I’m tired of this monotonous charade! –April 8, 2007
Haha, it was a good year in terms of blogs.
Things you need to do RIGHT NOW*
*Doing all of these things at once will most likely cause a brain hemorrhage. Please use common sense when reading and following advice in Claudia’s blogs.
Books you need to read RIGHT NOW
The Age of Reason by Jean-Paul Sartre
Candide by Voltaire
The Chosen by Chaim Potok
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
On the Beach by Nevil Shute
The Republic by Plato
Songs you need to listen to RIGHT NOW
“Cold Truth” by The Guggenheim Grotto
“Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap
“Largo” (from Xerxes) by Handel
“Tubular Bells” by Mike Oldfield
“When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die” by Moby
Things you need to look at RIGHT NOW
This woman’s tattoo
This older site that I found when I was like twelve
This little thingy
People in positions of high political power that need to be assassinated RIGHT NOW
Oops. Last one just slipped out.
Philosophy Party Primer
Alrighty, here’s a question for y’all: who is (still) interested in having an awesome philosophy party at the end of the next semester? If I get enough people interested (say, 5 or more), I’m doing it!
So, that being said, here are ten possible subjects we can discuss. I was thinking about writing them all down on separate pieces of paper and then drawing them from a jar to get a random topic to talk about, but other suggestions are being considered!
Oh, and if they sound broad and unfocused, it’s because they are meant to initiate conversation. If you guys have any further topics of interest, tell me!
~Consciousness
~Existence of a god figure
~Free will
~Good and evil
~Language
~Life after death
~Morality
~Origin of the universe
~Reality
~Time
Wee! I’m excited. Also, think about which philosopher you’d like to dress up as.
New Camera + Photoshop = FUN!
Alternate title: “Claudia’s Photoshop Skills are Nearly as Poor as Her Flash Skills”
Today’s lesson: eyes
Ingredients:
1 camera
1 pair of eyes
1 copy of Photoshop
A computer helps, too
Normal. Boring, huh?
I wished my eyes really looked like this, cause this is sexy.
They say large pupils are indicative of arousal.
Now this is cool. Just lightened them a bit.
Pupil mitosis!!! The only one that required a slight bit of skill.
Tell me which one you liked best! Claudia loves feedback.
Egads! A survey!
You know the drill.
1. How many people have you had sex with in 2007?
A big fat ZERO!
2. Weed, coke, speed, crack, heroin, oxy, acid, x, k, peyote, mushrooms, of these, how many have you done?
A big fat ZERO!
3. Ever been cheated on?
A big fat I DON’T THINK SO!
4. Ever paid for sex?
Haha, nope.
5. Ever been married?
To many.
6. Ever been divorced?
Nope.
7. If you had to pick one what’s your fav. sexual position?
Don’t have one. Virgin.
8. Do you own any guns?
Nope.
9. Ever done more than 30 days in jail?
Haven’t been in jail.
10. Ever been in rehab?
This question brings up that horrible Amy Winehouse song. But no.
11. Have you ever had any sexual experiences with the same sex?
Nope.
12. Ever have sex with anyone that you met on myspace?
My goodness, all these sex questions! Nope.
13. Last time you masturbated?
I’ve NEVER masturbated!
14. Do you think Arnold could beat up Chuck Norris?
Chuck is the man, so no.
15. What celebrity would you want to have sex with if you had the chance?
Ah…you don’t want to know.
16. Ever been unemployed for over a year since becoming an adult?
Oh yeah. I’m Slacker Central when it comes to employment.
17. How many states have you lived in?
Uno!
18. How many countries have you lived in?
Uno!
19. Do you keep a weapon under or next to your bed at night?
Does my butt count?
20. What celebrity would you want to beat up if you had the chance?
Aw, violence is not the answer.
21. Ever rolled into the harsh ghetto to buy drugs?
Every Tuesday with my homies.
22. Ever cheated on someone?
NEVER.
23. Ever been paid for sex?
Never been offered. But the answer would be no.
24. Ever hired a SPY to follow someone?
Nope.
24 1/2. Ever been the SPY?
A few times…
25. Ever bang your friend?
Haha! Nope.
27. Do you think Mr. Rogers really was a pervert or do you think he just really liked kids?
My mom didn’t like Mr. Rogers. Therefore, I’ve never really watched him.
28. O.J. Simpson….did he do it?
Most likely.
29. Fake tits or real tits?
Real, please. Oh, me? Yeah, they’re real.
30. Ever watch someone die?
My grandpa, yes.
31. How long has it been since you had sex?
19 years and counting.
32. Name your favorite beer?
I don’t drink, either.
33. If you could have free plastic surgery what would you get?
Third eye! Third eye!
34. Truthfully – does size matter?
No freaking clue.
Acquisition of material possessions
On this great day of Christmas, my family gave to me:
12 Sharpie markers (all different colors!)
11 packs of Bic pens (they know of my pen fetish)
10 of those big pink erasers (except they’re not just pink—they’re blue and purple and green, too!)
9 pieces of jewelry (a bit excessive, I must admit, but I did get a few cool pairs of earrings)
8 highlighters
7 books on philosophy
6 flash drives (cause my dad’s forgetful and wrapped three together and then the other three separately and forgot he got me the first group)
5 pairs of socks (sexy, colorful, outrageous socks, of course)
4 seasons of Futurama (that’s all of them!!)
3 electronic gizmos (a new camera, a little electric light thingy that responds to music, and a flashlight, cause I needed one)
2 books on tape (Plato’s Phaedo and Apology)
And a book on Psychometrics that’s also orange!
Hurrah!
Fun with the Tarot
I found my old little tarot deck today, so I decided to give it a shot, once concentrating on the future of my education and then on—just for giggles—love.
Here we go!
First Reading: Education
Present Position (immediate circumstances): “Use your head and not your heart. Exercise restraint; hold your power in reserve” (hmm…I believe I’m in the process of using my head and not my heart.)
Immediate Influences (obstacles and/or influences): “Disordered, illogical, or rebellious thinking” (aw hell!)
Goal or Destiny (goal and expectation): “Indicates a desire for independence” (This is one of my goals…don’t know if it’s related to my education or not. But if it’s in regard to financial independence, then yeah, it’s related.)
Distant Past Foundation (how the current situation came about): “Top of your game; tough and excellent manager” (I must admit, I think I was at the top of my game during spring of this year. Fall, though, is questionable).
Recent Past Events (what forms the underpinnings of the current attitude): Takes responsibilities seriously and finishes what they start” (very, very true.)
Future Influence (influences in the near future): “A tumultuous relationship has too many ups and downs” (crap, not a relationship!)
About the Questioner (how the questioner feels about the current situation): “Decisions will be made fairly” (I wonder if this regards their letting me take 25 credits next semester…)
Environmental Factors (affecting people and outside factors): “New possibilities and ideas abound.” (Woo-hoo!)
Inner Emotions (fears and wishes): “You are working hard, but more consistent effort is needed” (I do often fear that my efforts are not enough.)
Final Result (ultimate outcome if things continue on their present course): “Success may be delayed” (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!)
Second Reading: Love (this’ll be good)
Present Position (immediate circumstances): “Highly analytical, often pursuing a career” (true, true. No love in sight.)
Immediate Influences (obstacles and/or influences): “You are jaded and bored of life” (I want to loooooooove!)
Goal or Destiny (goal and expectation): “Neglects responsibilities, keeping up appearances regardless of circumstances” (that’s disturbing and depressing.)
Distant Past Foundation (how the current situation came about): “Powers stronger than yours are at work. An impostor is found out” (ha! Hahaha! Oh…wow.)
Recent Past Events (what forms the underpinnings of the current attitude): “It is not what it appears to be” (hmm…)
Future Influence (influences in the near future): “You are jealous when crossed and fickle in your affections” (me? Fickle in my affections? Never!)
About the Questioner (how the questioner feels about the current situation): “Beware of traps” (boy, that’s for sure.)
Environmental Factors (affecting people and outside factors): “Are you squandering money needlessly?” (haha, some future lover will find my eBay obsession horrid!)
Inner Emotions (fears and wishes): “Oh, bright beginnings! Is it the heady start of a love affair?” (oh god, there’s only one person this can pertain to…)
Final Result (ultimate outcome if things continue on their present course): “You feel remorse over a severed relationship” (haha…I’m screwed.)
Now, most importantly: do I believe in the Tarot? I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I am, unfortunately, a superstitious type, though through all rational thought, it makes no sense to me that a deck of special cards could tell about my future and/or my present. But who knows?
It’s fun, regardless.
Did you ever wake up in the morning…
And realize what a piece of utter, worthless crap you are?
I need to remember to take my freaking pills, cause this really, really sucks.
The philosophers won’t remove themselves from my dreams!
Today was rather uneventful, just basically going over the history of my grandfather’s family and his 16 siblings. Did you know he had 16 siblings? Well, you do now!
Apparently, the ship his parents (my great-grandparents) came to the United States on from Czechoslovakia is one for which they have no records—they refer to it as a “ghost ship” that came over sometime in the late 1800s or early 1900s. I found that interesting.
Then we read the “memoirs” of their 17 children, my grandpa included, and I realized that the whole family was a bunch of liars. It’s hilarious. Apparently, they all typed these letters back in the 1930s, none of them could speak English very well (seeing as how they went to Bohemia school in St. Louis and a “normal” education was hard to get for 17 children), and they all have these slightly differing perspectives on these really horrible yet hilarious things.
Like my uncle Art, who describes this whole scenario in which he shoots a German Shepherd (it broke into their food storage and ate all their preserves) and then denied ever seeing the dog when the owners came around asking about it.
Then there was Jerry, who was ogling the butt of a girl while driving and ran into a telephone pole.
And my grandpa, who, though he denies it, burnt down the garage
Then we’re looking through all these old pictures. They look like a bunch of refugees, all of them. Except in this one picture, where they’re dressed in bathing suits and the caption reads, “Parade of Water Nymphs.”
It was fun. I love my grandpa’s side.
Good lord, I blog a lot
Well my friends, today is blog number 600.
And in honor of this, both because I’ve blogged 600 times and because I’m bored out of my mind, I’ve compiled a bunch of statistics for you. Thank Microsoft Word and the Spell-check feature.
Total words: 160,978
Total sentences: 16,107
Words per sentence: 9
Passive sentences: 2% (or about 322 sentences)
Flesch reading ease: 79.1 (fairly easy)
Flesch-Kincaid grade level: 4.4
And there you go. I hope this brightens the shortest day of the year!
Godot Divides by Zero
I seem to have an affinity for these countdown surveys. What can I say, I love countdowns, I love lists…it makes sense that I would love countdowns that involve lists.
Ten Things You Want To Say To Ten Different People:
10. Ah, you. So yeah, that was totally cool, your claiming that you’ll go on a date with me that one day and then never, ever speaking to me again for no apparent reason, despite the fact that we saw each other in band for a full three weeks after the fact. Classy.
9. I love the fact that our friendship has changed to the point where I’m taking the role of “person you’ll hang out with only when you feel you have an “obligation” to hang out with her.” I really dislike being treated like a second-class citizen now that things have changed. It makes me sad/angry.
8. Your life is not NEARLY as bad as you make it out to be. Seriously. Stop complaining, make a little effort to improve things, and you’ll realize that it’s not all that bad. Trust me.
7. What’s your deal, my friend? First you stalk me. Then you get completely upset with me for no apparent reason. Then you continue to stalk me despite my best attempts at completely ignoring you. Then you randomly chat with me on Messenger, despite the fact that I never respond back. I ask, wtf?
6. Where the hell have you been, and why weren’t we friends before?!
5. “Scenic!”
4. Okay, you know what? I’m calling this person out, cause it’s not really a person. It’s my BUSINESS CALCULUS CLASS. Three words, my friend: I hate you.
3. You are the sexiest piece of woman-meat this side of…well, anything. Just thought you’d like to know. Oh, screw it. Amy, this one’s for you. I love you, darling.
2. Why won’t you give me that freaking story you wrote? That was the funniest thing I’ve ever read in my life! I think you know who you are, too. Hehe.
1. YOU! Despite the fact that I don’t want to be in a relationship for some time now, you are the one person I’d make an exception for. I know you don’t read my blogs, but yeah. Just thought I’d let you know just in case you ever come across this (and I think you know who you are).
Nine Things About Yourself
9. I wish I were a male.
8. I can’t handle money to save my life. Banking and all things associated with monetary handling confuse me; I just want to keep my money in a shoebox. And I spend too much/give away too much/lose $20 bills on the street too much (true story).
7. I’m thinking my tattoo shall be the equation for the Pearson product-moment correlation coefficient (or Pearson’s r), and I shall get it on my back right above my shoulder blade on the right side. Check out the equation; it’s sexy.
6. Dragonflies scare the hell out of me.
5. I love puns. But I’m sure you knew that already.
4. My waist:hip ratio is .72, which is very close to .70, the apparent “ideal” waist:hip ratio for optimum fertility and apparently what men find most attractive. Hmm…
3. A week or so ago, I failed to blog about something very significant—for the first time in my life, I came across a situation in which I severely questioned my sexual orientation. Now I’ve confused myself.
2. Voltaire freaking ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF.
1. I really, really wish that I had born back during the French Enlightenment. Or about 15 or so years prior, so that I could have fully enjoy it.
Eight Ways To Win My Heart (gah, again?! Oh well…):
8. Remind me of Voltaire.
7. Be a man (or woman, or whatever, I don’t even know anymore) who appreciates the “finer” things…opera, fine art, philosophical discussions—all that prim and proper jazz that, on occasion, is really fun to indulge in.
6. Understand my geeky jokes. Or even better, make geeky jokes of your own.
5. Be unhealthily obsessed with at least one thing. I don’t know why I find that freakishly attractive, but I do.
4. Money? Don’t be overly concerned about it.
3. Speak French. Oh, my.
2. Just be you. No charades. But we can play charades, though, because that’s a fun game.
1. Five simple words: don’t fucking lie to me.
Seven Things That Cross Your Mind a Lot:
7. My future and everything related to it
6. Intelligence and what it really means
5. The limits of language
4. Mathematics and the issues surrounding it
3. Anything philosophical
2. The fate of the world
1. The origin of the universe
Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
6. Failed to figure out exactly what I was majoring in before college started.
5. Failed to care about the SATs (I know, shocking! Me, fail to care about a school-related issue? Blasphemy!).
4. Got a C in algebra 2.
3. Chased him. For 7 years. I’m pathetic.
2. Allowed them to make the decision for me.
1. Commented on that blog.
Five Turn Offs:
5. Cockiness that goes beyond cute and into “no seriously, I’m the greatest.”
4. Facial hair.
3. “Excuse me, where is the Republican candidate on this ballot?”
2. The whole “rippling muscles” look.
1. Stupidity that goes beyond just being naïve and unexposed.
Four Turn Ons:
4. I’m kind of into the emo/goth/all-black look right now. I think it’s sexy. Note I said the look and not necessarily the mindset.
3. Humor!
2. Heaviness, especially in the midsection.
1. The most important: INTELLIGENCE!
Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
3.
2.
1.
Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
2. Revamp the I.Q. test, have one named after me.
1. Be known as “that eccentric weirdo in the trailer park” with the obligatory “I think she has a cat disease” warning tacked on.
One Thing You Want:
1. Success/recognition for said success.
Cohesive Marketing
An “End of the Year Survey” done several days prior to the end of the year. Because I’m just that cool.
This year I…
( ) stayed single the whole year
(X) got your first kiss
(X) kissed someone new
(X) made-out for the first time
( ) made-out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
( ) kissed in the rain
(X) fell in love
( ) fell in love with a fool
(X) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else’s heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) had a good relationship with someone
( ) questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(X) got married (multiple occurrences)
( ) had a divorce
(X) had a gay marriage (multiple occurrences)
( ) kissed someone of the same sex
(X) dated someone you’ll never forget
(X) done something you’ve regretted
( ) lost your true love
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under mistletoe
WORK/SCHOOL
( ) got a promotion
( ) got a pay raise
( ) changed jobs
( ) lost your job
(X) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss’ daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
(X) got straight A’s
(X) met one teacher you really like
( ) met one teacher you really hated
(XXXXXXXXX) found the subject you love
( ) failed a class
( ) cut class
( ) skipped school
( ) got into a fight with a classmate
(X) did something you were proud of
(X) discovered a new talent
(X) gave the teachers a reason to teach
( ) proved yourself an idiot
( ) embarrassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) got a lead in the school play
( ) made a varsity team
(X) were involved in something you’ll never forget
( ) got sent to the office
OTHER
( ) painted a picture
(X) wrote a poem
(X) ran a mile
(X) listened to music you couldn’t stand (DAMN YOU, “HEY THERE DELILAH!”)
( ) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
( ) went to a sleepover
( ) went to camp
( ) threw a surprise party
(X) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(X) flirted shamelessly (as always. Obviously it doesn’t get me anywhere)
( ) visited a foreign country
( ) visited a foreign state
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(X) lost something important to you
( ) got a gift you adore
(X) realized something new about yourself
(X) went on a diet
( ) tried to gain weight
(X) dyed your hair
( ) came close to losing your life
( ) someone close to you died
(X) went to a party (does The Beach/Moose Lodge count?)
( ) drank alcohol
( ) drank alcohol underage
( ) did (a) drug(s)
( ) got drunk
( ) got arrested
(X) read a great book
(X) saw a great movie
(X) saw a movie so scary that it made you cry (not “scary” per se…just freaky)
( ) saw your favorite band/artist live
( ) saw someone famous in person
(X) did something you want to tell everyone
OH THANK GOD.
I seriously don’t know how or why the fates conspired in my favor in terms of math, but I’ve just gotten all my grades in and I’ve maintained my 4.0! YAY!
I am very, very happy and relieved right now.
I will not rest until I know I’ve maintained my 4.0
I’m too nervous to blog today.
Grades are slowly trickling in and math, I’m assuming, will be the very last.
Short blogs. Waiting for grades. Deal.
Tell me your opinion of free will. Does it exist?
My opinion, of course, shall come in a later blog. After grades come in.
Review of the MySpace Moods
Day 1 of break: Claudia’s bored enough to review every single mood on MySpace. And yes, I do cry myself to sleep as I realize the painful truth of my lack of a life, thank you for asking.
Note: please be kind, they’re short. What do you want, there are 200+ of them!
Review of the MySpace Moods: An Unofficial Guide To Tom’s View of the Range of Human Emotion.
Accomplished
YAY! I love this mood.
Adored
Is it adoration, or is it…stalking? Find out tomorrow, on The Bachelor: Previous Offender Island!
Adventurous
Let’s go climb Everest!
Aggravated
You’re starting to tick me off…
Amorous
How I love being amorous. It makes me smile. Especially when there’s something/someone about which to be amorous.
Amused
I use this way too much. What can I say? The irony of life gets me.
Angry
“I’m angry. That’s what I am. Angry. I’m angry with f***ing life after playing this!” Yeah. That’s a quote from the Yogi Bear thing.
Angsty
Because emos don’t get enough representation here on MySpace.
Animated
Animated, or animator? Ha, I’m weird.
Annoyed
Blogging while annoyed is fun and, when re-read later, hilarious. I strongly advise blogging while annoyed.
Anxious
Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod…
Apathetic
Apathy? Who cares?
Argumentative
Yeah, I’m not wearing pants. Why, you wanna make something of it? Huh? Do ya, punk? Huh? Bring it!
Aroused
Ooh! This is new. You know what mood they need? “Giggity-Giggity.”
Artistic
I’m Salvador Dali!
Ashamed
Ah, shame. Where would we be without thee?
No seriously. It’s a big philosophical question.
Awake
I’VE HAD CAFFIENE, I’M ARMED, AND I’M HYPER. STAY AWAY FROM ME.
Betrayed
You’ve betrayed me, young disciple! How could you? I…I…I trusted you! Oh, cruel world!
Bitchy
People in this mood always amuse me. Especially when they crap out a blog or two. They’re just so funny!
Blah
Microsoft Word has absolutely no synonyms for this one. Odd.
Blank
(this space intentionally left blank)
Blessed
Here’s what I don’t get. God said, “be fruitful and multiply.” So why do we have everything from division to derivatives to sin and cosine? As one can plainly see, god did not destine us to have higher mathematics! HA!
Blissful
Bliss is good. But is it only attained through ignorance? I ask you.
Blustery
If you don’t watch out, they’ll name a hurricane after me!
Bored
Do blogs come forth more often from any other mood?
Bouncy
Tigger! I didn’t know you were on MySpace!
Breezy
What’s with the weather-like moods? I didn’t know one could feel moods resembling the winds.
Bullied
For those MySpacers still in junior high.
Bummed
Aw, man…
Busy
“I’m busy, and yet I’m blogging.” How many of my nearly 600 blogs have been written in this situation?
Calm
When is blogging when one is calm any fun?
Cantankerous
I love this word. The only synonym better is “tetchy.” They should put tetchy on here sometime.
Catalyzed
Hurryuphurryuphurryuphurryuphurryuphurryup…
Cheerful
Hooray! Cheerful is always good. Except when you’re the one in a really bad mood and are forced to hang out with a bunch of overly cheerful people. Then it sucks.
Chill
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, nothing, just chillin’, watchin’ the game, havin’ a Bud.
“True, true.”
“WASSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUP?!”
“WASSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?!”
Haha, sorry.
Chipper
Well hi-ho, gentlemen, ’tis a fine day for a blog. I do say I’m feeling rather chipper today, and yourselves?
Cold
Ah, my old friend Cold. What an amazing amount of time I’ve spent with you.
Complacent
Complacency scares me. I feel that once I’ve become complacent, I won’t want to do anything more.
Confident
Blogging when one is confident. This can either be a disaster, hilarious, or very informative. Totally circumstantial.
Confused
The eternal question: should one blog when confused? My answer: only to clear up or try to sort through their confusion. Prime example: Maggie’s blog about the pizza porn. Haha, that was your best blog ever, Maggie.
Contemplative
Ah, who doesn’t like to be contemplative? I sure as heck love it. I use this mood a lot.
Content
I don’t like being content. I feel contentment leads to laziness.
Cooky/Wacky
Hahahahaaaaa…RAZORS!
Cranky
No no, I’m fine. I’m having a great day. You just sit there and DON’T TOUCH ME!
Crappy
Feeling crappy sucks. My only comment.
Crazy
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THE DENTIST HAS MY ARM CHAIR!
Creative
Ah, creativity. I love feeling creative. In fact, this is when most of my Flashes are created.
You probably don’t want me in a creative mood, do you?
Crunk
What the hell is crunk? I thought that was a dance style. Ah, young people and their new terms.
Crushed
Ah, now I have a mood for when those semis run me over on the highway!
Cultured
I knew I’ve spent too long with those Petri dishes.
Curious
George?
Cynical
I find that blogs penned (or typed, rather) when one is in the mood of a cynic are leaps and bounds above the rest, don’t you agree?
Depressed
Ugh, this sucks just as much as “crappy.”
Determined
I am determined to blog! You can’t stop me this time!
Devious
Haha, I’m scheming and blogging at the same time! What thrill!
Dirty
Haha. No comment!
Disappointed
Aw man, disappointment’s no fun. You know what I’ve noticed, Tom, from going through this list of moods (I’m actually doing this one as one of the last one)? You have more negative moods than positive ones, I think. For shame!
Discontent
As with cynical blogs, blogs expressing discontent (especially when they’re cynical as well) are often of great humor.
Disgusted
You, sir, disgust me!
Distractible
This is good for those bloggers who OH MY GOD THE TV IS ON AND THERE ARE COLORS!
Distraught
A synonym for the following mood. Why, Tom, why must you put so many synonyms?
Distressed
I’m freaking out! I’m so upset! At least I can blog as an outlet!
Ditzy
The eccentrically scatterbrained. Wee.
Dorky
Let me begin with “dorky” as the first part in a three part series involving the difference between a dork, a geek, and a nerd. A dork is someone who is passionate about learning/academia. Stay tuned for the other two definitions later in the review!
Drained
How I basically felt every night last summer after getting home from work at one in the morning. Do you know how hard it is to blog then for me?
Drunk
“Shut up, Susie!”
Eccentric
I love this mood!!!
Ecstatic
Oh joy! Oh rapture! Oh joy and rapture! Ecstasy is fun!
Oh, and the mood’s pretty good, too (I joke, people, you know I don’t do drugs).
Electric
Oh god, call the burn center!
Embarrassed
A mood unknown to the great Millard Fillmore, as he did nothing that would have caused himself embarrassment.
Energetic
Haha, oh dear. This is a scary, scary mood for many people. Including me.
Enlightened
Ah, Tom! The one mood I wish to embody constantly. If I am correct, I think this one is new. I shall use it indefatigably.
Enraged
In other words, angry. I swear, Tom—must we suffer through your constant synonyms at every turn?
Enthralled
I’m…I’m…I’m absolutely spellbound! I…I can’t even…wow.
Envious
The green-eyed monster blogs!
Evil
Mua-ha-ha-ha!! Curse all ye who come near me, 666 and all that…yeah.
Exanimate
I didn’t know the dead blogged.
Excited
Yippee!
Exhausted
Exhaustion leads to bad blogging. I advise against blogging when too tired to think correctly.
Exotic
Like the breed?
Fabulous
How one should feel after watching my Flash animations.
Fascinated
See above entry.
Fermented
I could make a joke about yeast here, but I’ll refrain.
Flirty
Is that a bell curve in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Focused
YOU CANNOT BREAK THIS CONCENTRATION. I AM AT THE UTMOST PEAK OF FOCUS AND SINGLE-MINDEDNESS. MY ONLY CONCERNS ARE BREATHING AND DOING WHATEVER IT IS I’M SO FOCUSED ON. HA!
Forgotten
Tom, you and your constant negativity…it is rampant in this list, young man, rampant! I think you need counseling, for I feel the childhood Tom is coming through in the moods you express. Ooh! Ooh! Idea for future blog: I analyze Tom’s psychosocial development through the moods he lists. Stay tuned.
Frisky
Oh-ho-ho! Tom! I didn’t know you encouraged blogging when people were feeling this way! Trouble, trouble, young man.
Froggy
Damn those infernal witches and their spells! Now I must find a princess to kiss…
Frustrated
AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Full
…of what? Rage? Contempt? Tacos? Specifics, Tom, we need specifics!
Gallant
I’m here to save you, for I am a knight in shining armor on my valiant steed!
Geeky
Second in the three part series involving the difference between a dork, a geek, and a nerd. A geek is someone passionate about a particular area or subject, one that is usually obscure or difficult. Stay tuned for the final definition later in the review!
Giddy
How I feel every time after watching the Yogi Bear thing.
Giggly
Teehee!
Gloomy
Another “Tom thinks little of the world and is a constant pessimist, drowning his sorrows in crafting a giant social network where he is capable of sending bitter subliminal messages to thousands via his bulletins” mood. Is anyone else gettin’ this vibe, or is it just me?
It’s just me, isn’t it.
Good
I feel that this specific mood assists in the monosyllabic and overall uninformative responses to questions this and the next generation seem to have acquired a taste for
“How are you?”
“Good.”
“What do you like to do?”
“Stuff.”
“What do you want?”
“Junk.”
You see? It’s all a plot!
…you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?
Grateful
I am indeed very grateful to you, Tom, for creating this glorious thing called MySpace. Where else would I have given my trust to blog nearly 600 times?
Groggy
Warning: blogging whilst groggy may result in bad blogging or surprise blog pregnancy. To avoid this, take Advil, a glass of vodka, and see your doctor in three days if symptoms do not improve.
Grumpy
One of the dwarves! I liked grumpy. He was my favorite.
Guilty
Guilt sucks. What would the world be without it, though? Savage! Uncivilized! Like a Republican convention!
Handsome
I didn’t know handsome was a state of mind. This, like, totally shifts my perspective of how I should view my moods.
Happy
My least favorite dwarf.
High
“We’re high, man. We call each other ‘man,’ man.”
Hopeful
Please say I got an A in math…oh please oh please oh please…
Horny
Hello, what’s all this, then?
Hot
Why thank you, I think I’m pretty attractive, too.
Hungover
Haha, I love that Tom put this on here. Too many drunken bloggers complained that they couldn’t find an appropriate mood, I guess.
Hungry
Apparently, brightly colored plastic hippos feel this quite a lot.
Hyper
I felt this all of dead week. Explain that. I mean, really, it was freaking dead week. What was up with that?
Imaginative
Ahh, imagination. The world would be nothing about it. Well, yeah, it would still exist, but not the way we see it now.
Impatient
“Patience is a virtue,” my butt.
Impervious
This word always makes me think of American Pie. I think it’s because Michelle uses it once in the second one.
Implacable
I’m cruel and uncouth, and I’m not afraid to blog!
Impressed
Awe! It takes a lot to truly impress me.
Indescribable
My dear friend MySpace Tom, you would be a perfectly charming person and I would be unable to find any real reason to complain about your wonderful MySpace setup if it weren’t for this one mood. It pisses me off to no end, do you know that? Actually, perhaps it’s not you, dear Tom, that pisses me off about this situation but the English language itself. How can one feel indescribable while still being able to ascribe a word to it? How can one truly be “indescribable” if they are indeed feeling “indescribable?” AAAAAAAAH FREAKING LANGUAGE!
Indifferent
A synonym for apathy? I don’t care about this, either.
Indignant
You, sir, have offended me, and I say we must commence with a verbal duel! I make the first move with a sixte parry with the challenge, “them’s fightin’ words!”
Infuriated
No no, not just angry, infuriated. Don’t wanna mess with this.
Inquisitive
Blogs of the inquisitive-minded lead to great things, or so I believe.
Inspired
Ah! One should always blog when inspired. Then make Flash.
Insubordinate
Communists! I’ll run the black market, then where’ll you be, huh?
Intense
“Aw, hell yeah, man! I totally just rocked the business proposal and it was intense, bro, you know? Man, I’m gonna fire up the grill, have a few brewskies, hang with the bros, man, it’s totally awesome! Awesome to the max!“
Intimidated
…blogging scares me.
Irate
Hahaha…I love how the synonyms list on Microsoft Word has “very angry” for this one. No no, it’s not just anger, it’s extreme anger.
Irritated
Don’t push my buttons, I swear…
Jealous
Isn’t this basically the same as envious?
Jedi
Are you serious? George Lucas is going to sue your pants off, MySpace, I swear!
Jolly
Now Santa can blog.
Jubilant
Ah, being over the moon about something is grand. That’s all I have to say.
Knighted
Another “I’m not sure this qualifies as a mood” mood. Isn’t this more of a “state?” Or a status?
Lazy
Ah! SLUG! I like being lazy on occasion.
Lethargic
Now you may be asking, “Tom, why do you have both lazy and lethargic on the same mood list? Aren’t they basically the same thing?” And I would answer for Tom, “No, good soul! For you see, one can be lazy without being lethargic, and one can be lethargic without being lazy. In the first case you may be perfectly fine, even hyper, but still not want to do anything, while in the second case you may be feeling really run down and sluggish but still wanting to do things. See? It really is very simple.”
I need a life, don’t I?
Listless
Huh? What? Oh sorry, you’re blogging. Eh, I’m just going to sit on this couch here and not pay any attention, if you don’t mind.
Lonely
Aw, this mood makes me sad.
Loved
I find it funny/sad that “lonely” and “loved” are right next to each other. Is that just me?
Yeah, it’s just me, isn’t it.
Luminous
Ooh, like a candelabra? Candelabras are hot (haha, no pun intended. Man, I’m funny even when I don’t plan it).
Mad
“GAH, I HATE YOU, YOGI BEAR!”
Melancholy
I don’t know about you people, but I find a certain joy in the occasional melancholy mood, don’t you? I get to this heightened state of thought. It’s grand.
Mellow
You know what? I don’t think I’ve ever used this mood. Ever. Claudia ? mellow.
Mischievous
Hehe…I’m feelin’ naughty!
Miserable
There’s the old saying, “misery loves company.” Is this necessarily true? Sure, people like to tell others about their misery, but do people really want others to feel miserable with them? Or can this so-called “company” include just sympathizers or listeners? Perhaps I should stop reviewing these before I go insane.
Moody
I love you. No, I hate you! Life sucks. Now it rocks! WTF?
Morose
Another synonym for miserable! Tom sure likes this one, doesn’t he?
Naughty
Teehee. I’m not wearing panties!
Nauseated
“Ugh, I just saw Bush give another State of the Union address.”
Neglected
Tom, my friend, seek counseling.
Nerdy
Third in the three part series involving the difference between a dork, a geek, and a nerd. A nerd is someone who has difficulty with social interactions. I hope this clears some things up.
Nervous
Nervousness sucks, you know? And you know what else? I’m nervous way too often. New Year’s resolution: cut down on nervousness.
Ninja
I ask you, Tom, how one can feel “ninja?” Ninja-esque, perhaps, but feeling ninja? See “pirate.”
Nostalgic
I think feeling nostalgic is fun. But that’s just me and my twisted feelings.
Numb
Damn these infernal sleeping limbs!
Obsequious
Okay, seriously. How many MySpace users, teenaged emos and otherwise, are going to know what this word means? Is this for the more intellectual of bloggers? Was Tom in fact feeling obsequious to that specific demographic and thus decided to include this word? Ha! I’ve figured you out now, haven’t I?
Okay
“Eh, I’m good.” See “good” entry.
Optimistic
Optimism is overrated. I think optimists are constantly opening themselves up for disappointment, don’t you?
Overstimulated
Colors…noises…smells…tastes…touch…MAKE IT STOP, FOR GOD’S SAKE, I’M GOING TO DIE!
Peaceful
Fa-la-la-la-la…I’m Gandhi!
Peeved
Grrr!
Pensive
Isn’t this basically the same as contemplative? Wouldn’t one think that the contemplative among us would realize this while we’re contemplating to which word to set our mood and notice that there is at least one other synonym of “contemplative?”
…or am I contemplating this too much?
Pessimistic
Expect the worst. Hope for the best.
Pirate
Tell me, Tom, how can one feel “pirate?” I understand feeling up a pirate, but that hardly constitutes a mood, now does it? Next step up: “Scurvylicious!”
Pissed Off
The active state of being really, really angry. See entry below.
Pissy
What’s the difference between “pissed off” and “pissy,” you ask? I shall tell you. Being pissy is the resting state of being pissed off, comparable to potential energy. Being pissed off is the “active” state of anger, comparable to kinetic energy. And yeah, I totally just used a physics analogy to describe that. I’m cool.
Played
“I been played, homie!”
Pleased
Ah, finally a positive mood! Kudos, Tom, I’m seeing improvement after only three sessions!
Pretty
See “handsome” entry above.
Productive
I just ran a marathon, wrote a book, caught a fish, painted a portrait, learned French, swam the Nile, cured cancer, and got my PhD, all within the last five minutes! Hurrah!
Pugnacious
Another word that 98% of MySpace users probably don’t know. And am I feeling pissed about this fact? Nah. I’ll change it in due time via new and improved education standards (my new goal).
Pure
I believe that 88% of MySpace users cannot truthfully use this word.
Quiet
Psst…pardon me, sorry…if you don’t mind, I think I’ll blog.
Quixotic
Ah, the one mood in reference to a literary character! I must admit I feel this every once and awhile.
Rebellious
Tom, Tom, Tom. Must you encourage this?
Recumbent
Isn’t this more of a bodily position than a mood? I mean, I suppose it can be taken to mean “idle,” but that’s stretching it a bit, don’t you think?
Refreshed
Ahhhhhhhh…Colgate!
Rejected
Aw, Tom, this is no fun. No fun at all!
Rejuvenated
I just chugged twelve packets of sugar! No wait, that won’t rejuvenate me, that will make me insane.
Relaxed
I don’t think I’ve ever used this mood, either.
Relieved
I’m not going to review this one. Instead, I’m going to say that I’m hoping to feel this on Tuesday (or before) when I get my grades in. Cross your fingers, people!
Restless
Restlessness sucks!
Rockin’
Because words that end in “ing” spelled without the last “g” are hip!
Romantic
Ahh, romance. Where would we be without it?
Ah, well, some of us know. What the hell, though, romance is fun.
Rushed
Hurryuphurryuphurryuphurryuphurryup…
Sad
Your basic mood. You feel happy, you feel sad. I’d argue that this mood is too “general,” but I believe that sometimes you just feel sad, you know?
Sassy
Ah, go on, now! Who’s afraid of a little sass in their blogs?
Satisfied
Satisfaction. Satisfaction. Benny Benassi comes to mind.
Savage
Silly Tom! It is unwise for those who are savage to blog!
Scared
AGH! Ghosts and goblins and George W. Bush!
Selective
It is ill advised under this circumstance to alter your top 8 friends.
Shocked
Gasp! I’m…I’m at a loss for words!
Sick
*vomit*
Silly
Hahaha! I’m a silly, silly girl. Don’t you just love being silly on occasion? It’s just grand fun!
Sleepy
*snore*
Smart
If you feel smart, blog. End of story.
Smitten
I need to use this. A lot. I’m smitten about quite a lot of things.
Sneaky
I’ve never liked this word. I have no idea why.
Sneezy
Wait…another dwarf? What about other unrepresented little guys? Perhaps I don’t feel Sneezy, you know? Sometimes I just want to be a little Dopey or Bashful, is that too much to ask?
Sore
Can range from “aw, I just stubbed my toe” to “aw, I just became a quadruple amputee!”
Stalked
Haha! Hahahaha! Not a good mood to be feelin’. Tom, you humor me.
Stoked
Like a FIRE!
Stressed
Haha. I know this mood all too well. That’s what 22 credits’ll do to ya.
Strong
I can move MOUNTAINS, fool!
Surprised
GAH! Birthday party!
That’s all I can think of.
Sweaty
Ew…
Sympathetic
Sympathy is good, but it will DESTROY YOU! DESTROYYYYYYYYYYY…
(yeah, I’ve been doing this for too long. Good thing I’m already on the “s”s.)
Talkative
I think this is the perfect mood for blogging. Seriously. Wouldn’t one need to be slightly talkative in order to type out their thoughts? Especially when the blog is a public one? Just putting that out there.
Tested
Holy crap! This describes my whole semester. Really.
Thankful
Claudia approves of this mood. And totally blanked out on how to spell her name there for a second. Scary.
Thirsty
Again, isn’t this less of a mood than a physiological state? Ah, well. I guess if hungry is on here, thirsty should be as well.
Thoughtful
Thoughtfulness in one’s blog leads to a thorough and wonderful blog.
Tired
As with the “exhausted” mood, I feel that it is against one’s better judgment to blog when too tired to think straight. But hey, doing so could lead to some humorous things.
Touched
Touched as in moved, or touched as in the perverted sense? I guess it could go both ways.
Triumphant
HA! I have mastered whatever it was I was attempting to master, and I have emerged triumphant in my quest! Take THAT, everybody!
Uncomfortable
For blogging whilst sitting on a tack.
Understimulated
I’ve been sitting in a dark room for two weeks! I…need…stimulation!
Used
Like a book?
Validated
Like one’s parking?
Vehement
Oh, SWEET! This is a new one, I do believe. Thank you, Tom! I’m often so vehement about things, and now the world shall know! Bravo!
Vexed
This is probably the best synonym for “annoyed” there is. And that is all I have to say.
Vibrant
Ah! I like this one! I like it a lot. I should use it.
Virginal
I didn’t know people could feel like small, legless, rectangular harpsichords!
Vital
“I’m vital to this team, sir, and I swear I’ll do whatever you suggest to further the success of the company and move myself up the corporate ladder.”
Voluminous
I feel BIG, yo!
Wanted
Haha, oh dear. The felons have discovered MySpace!
Weird
Weird is good. Weird is very good.
Working
“Everybody’s working for the weekend…everybody needs a second chance…” Tell me what song that’s from and you get a dollar!
Worried
I use this one far too much. This is how I feel right now, in fact. “Grades,” you ask? Indeed.
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