Sigh…
Today I present you with yet another one of my mobility-related rants, entitled:
“Walking Courteously: It’s Not Fucking Rocket Science”
Point the First
Explain something to me, please. Why is it that the slower you walk, the more apt you are to walk in the middle of the freaking sidewalk, thus inhibiting anybody passing you on either side? I have NEVER seen a fast-walking person barreling down the center of the sidewalk, most likely due to the fact that the center of the sidewalk is usually occupied by someone going about 0.00002 miles per hour. While weaving.
Point the Second
Walking while talking on a cellphone automatically lowers your IQ by about 30 points. This is a fact of life. Walking in a group consisting of more than two people lowers your IQ by 25 points for each person in your group. This is another fact of life.
When you combine the two by seeing groups of four or more people with two or three of them on their cell phones, you start to get negative IQ scores, numbers that are only represtented elsewhere in the Republican party and in people who don’t like Leibniz (sorry, one political slash per year is required). Why do people do this? Are most people so unaware of their surroundings that they fail to realize that other people use the sidewalk that they’re clogging up with their social sludge? Ergh.
Point the Third
Anybody who’s been in this city for more than 15 minutes knows it rains incessantly here. As such, people are generally courteous about their umbrellas. But then you get these guys who decide to carry around—and I’m not exaggerating here—umbrellas that are 3’ in diameter. Is it just me, or is this just a little bit excessive? I mean, unless you can’t fit your frame beneath a standard umbrella, I don’t know how much more a ridiculously large umbrella’s going to help you stay dry.
Here’s the bottom line: the reason you don’t see every person carrying around a 3’ diameter umbrella is because there is no practical reason that any human being needs a 3’ diameter umbrella to stay dry. I don’t know what these assholes who carry around umbrellas that are large enough to be accurately-sized replicates of the firmament are compensating for, but they need to find a less obnoxious way of doing it.
/rant.
NRRRRR
GOD people are rude here. I say “excuse me” in the grocery store aisle even when it is obvious that the other person is being an idiot and wandering slowly down the aisle with their huge butt and similarly huge cart, completely oblivious to the world around them. Why does everyone give me a dirty look? Wouldn’t it just be common courtesy to say “excuse me” back, or say it first, since you’re blocking the entire fucking aisle in the first place?
Seriously, I haven’t heard the words “excuse me” uttered by anyone here, and it’s really getting annoying.
The Commuter Manifesto
The Inevitable Bus Rant
I like the bus. I really do. It gives me a chance to just zone out and listen to music while not worrying about anything else before school/after school/on the way to Safeway-Walmart-wherever. However, there are a couple of things that bug the hell out of me.
“There are thirty people waiting in a line to get on this bus…hmm, I’ll just barge my way to the front and get on first.”
I think this is my biggest pet peeve. This DRIVES ME CRAZY, mainly because the bus I take to campus in the morning is usually very crowded due to the time of day. I don’t think a person waiting patiently in a line should get screwed over and have to stand when another person decides they’re more important than the rest of the world and pushes other people out of the way to get on first. It’s not the last helicopter out of Vietnam, so stop being a dick.
“I’M ON A CELL PHONE, CAN YOU HEAR MY CONVERSATION?!”
Why the hell are you yelling? Tell me why? Does the reception suck that bad? And if so, why didn’t you call your friend BEFORE you got on the bus? I don’t care that you’re holding a huge party at your house on Thursday, and I’m sure the rest of the people on the bus don’t, either. Notice those angry glares you’re getting? Of course you don’t, no one exists in your world but you.
“I HAVE AN IPOD, CAN YOU HEAR MY MUSIC?!”
I’ve ranted about this before. The reason for headphones is so that other people don’t have to suffer through your Avril Lavigne habit. Did you notice that picture near the front of the bus with the little stereo crossed out on it? Yeah. That applies to you near-deaf or soon-to-be-deaf people who don’t understand that many decibels = hearing loss, both to yourself and the poor soul that has to sit next to you and listen to an obscenely loud and tinny version of “Hit Me Baby One More Time.”
“I’m going to stand right in front of the door, even though I’m not getting off the bus until it arrives at its final station!”
This doesn’t bother me when the bus is full and there’s no place else to stand. This bothers me when there are like ten seats still open and some dude with a backpack the size of France decides to blockade the door so that people have to maneuver around him to get off the bus. I think it’s acceptable if you’re getting off at one of the early stops, but if you’re not getting off until the bus reaches the other side of Vancouver? Sit down or stand somewhere else.
“Oh my god, I totally just went shopping and all my new purchases need their own seat!”
Not a problem on non-crowded buses; a big problem on the #7. Do you see that old lady standing because there aren’t any open seats? She’s standing there because of your shopping addiction, you jerk.
/rant
To the nice person who now has my iPod:
I just want to take a moment to thank the person who decided to take my iPod this morning. You were correct in thinking that I didn’t accidentally leave it on the floor next to my chair in Belief and Reality. I actually left it there for somebody to take, so that they could enjoy all the music I paid for. It’s a good thing it took you less than five minutes to find it and decide to keep it, or else I would have run back from math to retrieve it before you could have enjoyed it.
I hope you like how new it looks. It’s only a couple weeks old. Not a scratch. I also hope you enjoy the engraving on the back: “Happy 21st birthday! Love Mom.” This had no sentimental value at all; I told her to have it engraved so that you would have something to read while you were enjoying my music.
I also hope you like the earbuds. They cost about $30 since they are noise-cancelling with an adjustable volume gauge on the wires. They’re really nice.
There’s a video on there that one of my friends gave me, too. It got erased from my computer, but it’s still on the iPod. I was hoping to transfer it back to my computer later this week, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy an inside joke between my friend and me more than I ever could.
Oh, and one more thing to make your day a little bit easier: if you go down the hallway from that classroom, take a left, and then follow the stairs to the area above the commons, you’ll find the Information Desk for the TLC. That’s where the lost and found is. It’s where people who have found others’ possessions drop them off so that the owners can retrieve what they’ve misplaced. I just thought you’d like to know, in case you ever lose that nice new orange iPod nano, that you can go to that desk and inquire if anyone has returned it there.
Well, that’s all. Have a nice life, and enjoy your new iPod!
Asshole.
(One-ish year later edit: nope, never got it back.)
Ugh, can I catch a break, please?
Once again, I have another squad member who doesn’t give a shit. This is making my last year of marching band substantially less fun. I hope she shapes up and realizes that just because she’s a plug doesn’t mean she can be a slacker. I do not appreciate people making both me and the whole band look bad.
God, more of this crap?
Dear everyone,
Yes, I dress differently than you. Get over it. I know it’s hard to do, but please don’t automatically judge my character by the way I look. I try to make the effort with you. The only thing you can conclude from the fact that I dress differently from you is—surprise!—the fact that I dress differently from you! Holy shit, you mean not all peoples’ personalities are represented by their clothing?! NO WAY.
Bastards.
Hyperbole is the best thing EVER!
Haha, I think it’s rather funny that everyone else is posting all these apology blogs and bulletins, but that’s probably because of the fact that I’m feeling the exact opposite—I’ve been apologizing all freaking week for my actions when really, there’s been no need to.
I love the fact that I’ve gotten absolutely no support from anyone with regards to how I’m handling things. That’s a good feeling when you had already been confused over what to do.
But you know what? I’m not confused anymore. I know what I’m doing, and screw you all if you’re going to hold such low opinions of me that you don’t think I can make the right choices. ’Cause I did. And I’m glad.
So shut up and leave me alone if all you’re going to do is criticize me.
Today revealed further flaws in Microsoft Word 2007 that must be ranted about in Blog Land
I get all riled up for nothing, don’t I? It’s great. Oh, and no pictures this time, sorry. The fact that I’m blogging and not engaging in some form of school-related work is not good in and of itself, so I’m not going to add “messing with Geocities’ image hosting” to the procrastination menu as well.
Where the hell are my margin rulers?
Welcome to the new Microsoft Word 2007, the “I’m far too superior to display margin rulers or use Times New Roman as the default font or be intuitive in the slightest.” People liked the little rulers, Microsoft. I liked the little rulers. How else are we supposed to easily tweak your crappy default layout (tab size, indentation with bullets and numbers, etc.) if we can’t manually adjust the sliders on the rulers?
Nothing will be right in the world until I get my rulers back.
And following this, why are the default margins 1″ all around the page all of a sudden?
Microsoft, you can’t do this to people like me. You can’t have 1″ margins on the top and bottom and 1.25″ margins on the sides as the default for like five years and then suddenly decide to change things. I type my essays with the expectation that, when I go to adjust the margins, the total length in vertical page size will decrease, thus “shortening” my essay just enough so that I dock a page off my already-far-too-wordy-and-incredibly-long-winded-“like-hell-I’m-going-to-stay-under-three-pages” essay. I went to do this tonight on my paper on Spinoza, and after frantically searching for my margin rulers (see above complaint), I came to the horrifying realization that I couldn’t artificially “shorten” my paper at all! Now I’m going to get another “it’s good writing after the first two pages of rambling” comment on my essays for modern philosophy.
Why did you change the “oops, it looks like you made a small grammatical error” underline from green to blue?
Why is blue so much more “modern” than green? iTunes pulled this crap, too. Remember back when the little note on the iTunes icon was green? Maybe not, ’cause they switched it to blue some time ago, and blue it remains. Same with Word. How can you change something like this?! Isn’t the green squiggle underline, like, classic? That’s like changing the traditional Christmas colors from red and green to something like red and burnt sienna. In other words, it’s BLASPHEMY! They also might have changed the background of the viewing window itself, too, but I can’t remember what the default of the original looked like, since I reset my whole color scheme to lime green on my laptop.
That stupid little “modifications box” that shows up every time I highlight text, which then subsequently causes me to change the font to Wingdings or something by complete accident, ’cause I wasn’t expecting a freaking modifications box to show up when I’m highlighting text!!
The first time I saw this little box I was all, “oh god, did I break Microsoft Word?!” No, turns out they like to mess with you when you’re frantically highlighting text to move about in your essay outlines and it’s 10 at night and you want spaghetti but NO, you’re stuck trying to grapple with freaking Microsoft Word and their new-fangled user interface that’s practically the crap on a stick of the word processing world.
The .docx extension
Yeah, that’ll protect your precious monopoly on all computerized word processors, Microsoft. Make it so that none of your older (and better) versions can open the documents from the freaking new one. That equates to putting a chastity belt on someone who’s had multiple sexual partners with hopes that it’ll magically erase her copulations with people prior.
Does that analogy work? I’m not too sure right now (I’m proofed out from symbolic logic and can’t be bothered with the trifles of sounding witty), but it’s a damn good analogy if it does.
And here are things that, much to my chagrin, I must admit I like about good ol’ Word 2007 (there are only two things, though, so this should be quick):
The whole easy preview of modifications to the text
Now this is a useful tool, Word ’07. When you go to modify the text, the modification actually shows up in preview in the actual text!! This is brilliant, guys. Now fix all the other crap you implemented.
The “zoom” drag button
This thing is freaking fun! You can zoom in far enough to see the pixels in the dot on the “i” and then, within seconds, zoom out so that the page you’re on looks like a postage stamp in the upper right-hand corner of Word. For those of us procrastinating on writing about Spinoza because we hate his philosophy so, this is an excellent distraction.
A couple important notes for today that I’m typing up at home, with good old Microsoft 2003:
I got a fortune today that read: “The more you give, the more you have.” I found that interesting.
I owned my human sexuality test. 51 out of 50, baby.
I also got a 91 on my stat 401 test, which is better than I was expecting, considering there were four problems (total of 20 points right there) on which I had no clue what to do.
If the whole psychometrics thing falls through due to my inability to get accepted by any grad school, I’m so totally going for a PhD in philosophy to become a Leibniz scholar. Holy crap, that would be amazing.
If you ever have the pleasant experience of speaking to/befriending Sean Papin, I advise you to hold him in the highest respect. His honesty and integrity as a decent human being made things that could have been disastrous go a whole hell of a lot easier today. My respect for him has shot through the roof (not that it wasn’t high before, but you know what I mean).
Damn this infernal 95 character limit! I have witty things to say in my titles! This is crap!
Following the Ag Sci computer lab debacle this afternoon (don’t even ask), I went to the library to do some statistics homework on the computer (I needed SAS). In the end, I ended up using Microsoft Word quite a bit, too. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem; however, the computers here in the library updated over Christmas break to the new Microsoft Office 2007, as you all probably know. Normally I stay clear of this new abomination unto mankind as much as I can, but today it was unavoidable. So two hours later when my struggle with the new Microsoft Word 2007 was over, I decided to blog about my experience with it. So here it is.
If Wiki says it, it must be true.
This is the most counter-intuitive program I’ve ever seen. You know how everyone else always used to complain that Microsoft Word was too difficult to navigate, and that tables were too difficult to construct, and the numbering system was too stubborn to even try to manipulate? Well, if they’d spent any time actually trying to figure things out, they would have realized that the old versions of Microsoft Word were very easily manipulated. I, for one, can manipulate my version of Microsoft Word on my laptop (Microsoft 2003, I refuse to upgrade) to do anything I wish. Tables, numberings, etc.
Now, can you do these things the same way you used to, using the new Microsoft Word 2007?
No. You have to learn a whole new way of manipulating things.
Lies, all of it, lies!
The absolute worst thing about the new Microsoft Office 2007 is the default settings. The old ones worked perfectly fine: Times New Roman font, set at size 12, with single-spacing. Classic, simple. So what do they implement in the new version? An entirely new user interface. The new font is called “Calibri,” and it looks like this:
Such a statement would look so much more elegant in TNR.
Calibri sounds an awful lot like Cabrini to me—Cabrini as in Cabrini Greens, probably one of the worst housing project failures in the history of Chicago. So already, even before, I began typing in it, Calibri brought to mind a disaster. And that’s essentially what it is.
I’m not saying the font as a font is bad, I’m saying the font as a default font is bad. Microsoft, I’m pretty sure you’re aware of the fact that your products (such as, oh I don’t know, MICROSOFT WORD) are used quite often in academia. I don’t know what you know about academia, Bill Gates, so I’m assuming you know a lot—after all, you’re freaking Bill Gates—but here’s something your new product does not demonstrate you know: professors really, really like Times New Roman. They really, really like it to be 12-point size. And they really, really like double-spacing.
So what does Microsoft give us as a default font to replace their previous default font that had been working perfectly fine for years and years?
CALIBRI. In SIZE 11. With MULTIPLE LINE SPACING. I can see the letters just pouring into Microsoft’s mailroom:
I should so send this.
I must admit, however, that there are some pretty cool new features to this ’07 version of Microsoft Word. I can’t remember what they are now, though, ’cause the positive has been overshadowed by the freaking horrible default settings.
I don’t care what you say about making it more “user fluent” or whatever term you’re using. This is a disaster, Microsoft. Fix it.
Mimicking inflection: a study in imitation and how to manipulate people who “talk like this?”
I’m pissy today. List form as always.
Things that are entirely too overrated
The damn applications on Facebook
I thought the concept of Facebook was to provide college students with a more sophisticated tool than MySpace to communicate with peers. Apparently, college students can’t handle simplicity and ease of use, because 97% of pages I visit now have dozens of those stupid Facebook “applications” clogging up the screen and utterly destroying the beauty that was the simplicity of the site. Listen, I don’t care what kind of eyes you have. I don’t care that you have so little of a life that you must participate in online movie quizzes. I don’t care which Greek God you are. I don’t care what emoticon best fits your current mood. And here’s something that may be shocking: you aren’t important enough to have a second wall dubbed the “Super Wall.” Get a MySpace and be obnoxious there. Please leave your juvenile endeavors off of Facebook. And please, for the love of god—stop sending me invitations to add applications. I’m not going to. I only have one application, and it fits in with the rest of the site’s format.
Squirrels
Squirrels suck.
Ninjas
Yes, we know you think they’re cool. But let me tell you something—you aren’t a ninja, you never will be a ninja, and the odds of you encountering a ninja, shouting something to the effect of, “OMG A NINJA LOL!!!!1” and coming out of the situation with anything less than a bashed in skull are very, very minimal.
Pirates
Same as ninjas. Yeah, yeah, we all love them. Now shut the hell up.
Copying others
Come up with your own freaking crap. Failing your ability to do so, at least give the person you’re copying some credit. This pisses me off more than you can ever know.
Using grossly incorrect grammar to sound “cute”
Phrases like “I’s a squirrel!” and “I has a Oreo!” make my blood curdle. It’s not cute, it’s not funny, and it’s not doing much to make you look like an intelligent human being. Either use correct grammar or shut the hell up.
Brandishing your so-called “mental disorders” for all the world to see
Self-explanatory. If you’re one of those people who has on your MySpace (or what have you) a list of your “mental disorders,” you are, in fact, a moron. There is no practical need for anyone who really has a mental disorder to go brandishing the fact to the general public. In fact, most people who do this really don’t have any mental disorders to speak of, they’re simply attention whores who feel the need to exploit the fact that they arrange their socks in a particular order (because we all know that “normal” people don’t like their clothing in any specific order—thus they must be obsessive-compuslive!) or that they are, on occasion, moody (because god forbid we should attribute any fluctuation in mood to anything other than bipolar disorder) in order to illicit some sort of response from the readers, be it sympathy, intrigue, or just attention in general.
Sex
It’s shoving a shaft of flesh up a hole, people, big deal.
The University of Idaho Honors Program
Bunch of snobby, self-righteous, “holier-than-thou” elitists who think that just because they have the minimum GPA (it’s just a 3.5, people, seriously) to be inducted into the society they are somehow “smarter” than those of us who, by choice, aren’t involved. The classes they require you to take to remain in the program would be pointless digressions in my academic career, thus my refusal to have anything to do with them. They’re offering this semester, two—count them, two—upper division classes. One is a geography class. The other is a history class. Yes, let’s pick the two least popular majors and offer upper division classes in those! Ooh, better yet, let’s offer all the lower, 100-level classes as either a) introductory classes that nearly everybody’s taken, b) chemistry, or c) another freaking history class! Because delaying the graduation of our members is more important than giving them classes that pertain to their future careers.
Dear University of Idaho:
I think I should send this to the president of the University. I think it makes reasonable demands (except possibly for number 5). Humorous parts that would not be included in the actual letter are in italics.
This is a list compiled by a member of your Student Body who, upon hearing faculty, staff, and other students complain about the University, and being fed up herself, decided to create this petition in hopes you will listen to the pleas of your employees and students. Thank you.
Declaration of New Organization and Order
and
Calling of Attention to Major and Minor Inconveniences
We the Associated Students and General Employees of the University of Idaho petition the University to:
01. Create a uniform template to which all department websites must adhere.
We declare that there should be a sense of uniformity to the department websites to a) lessen confusion over hard to navigate and confusing web pages, b) create for each department a resource to which students can turn to grow informed of each department’s specific requirements and general goals, and c) allow for a thorough covering of all topics a department website should cover.
Said topics should include but are not limited to:
a) What programs the department offers (be they Bachelor’s, Master’s, minors, etc.)
b) Links to each program’s specific website, which should all also be uniform in nature
c) The email addresses of the important figures in the departments
d) The general department requirements
e) Information about the faculty and staff employed in the department
f) A list of courses offered
02. Offer, if there is offered a minor and a Master’s and/or a PhD program in a specific discipline, the Bachelor’s program as well.
We declare that if further education degrees at and above a Master’s degree are offered in a specific discipline, the Bachelor’s degree should be offered as well, to those seeking either more than a minor or those looking to go straight through a program at the University.
03. Have the University Bookstore order enough books for the classes offered.
We declare that the University Bookstore should order at minimum as many books per class as the maximum number of students in the class. Having students left without books on the first day of classes due to the fact that the bookstore was “out” is unacceptable.
If, however, this is not possible for some reason, we declare that students seeking books that the University Bookstore is currently out of should be put on a mailing list by the bookstore, through which they will be immediately notified when the shipment of books arrives, thus preventing multiple inconvenient trips to the bookstore to check whether or not the books have arrived (or, at the very least, keep the University Bookstore website’s textbook stock information up to date).
04. Fix the Brink Hall situation
And by “fix the Brink Hall situation” I mean either,
a) move all the offices out of the building and just abandon it;
b) knock the damn thing down; or
c) equip all students with handheld GPS devices, as nearly 2/3 of students who enter Brink hall are either never found, are found but are lying in a fetal position after dying from thirst/hunger/suicide from not being able to find the exit, or finally get free after wandering around aimlessly for at least half an hour before ending up where they were supposed to be by accident and are told by a Brink resident where the secret “open sesame” door is to get back out.
05. Offer employees free and total access to the University of Idaho Recreation Center.
We declare that all full-time employees should receive free and total access at all times of business to the Recreation Center. Both the University and the individual employees themselves would reap the benefits of accessible exercise opportunities.
06. Provide every student and professor with a map of the TLC.
We declare that the layout of the TLC warrants the expense of printing thousands of maps for the teaching community and the student body. Both students and professors alike would benefit from and appreciate a map of the building, and it would help to lessen anxieties about finding classes on the first day of the semester. Failing this, just go find the M. C. Escher-turned-architect who designed the building and beat the hell out of him for us.
07. Cease selling apparel at the University Bookstore that promotes drinking.
We declare that the apparel promoting drinking and poor drinking habits (such as the “I’m a Vandal, Beer Me!” apparel) should not be endorsed and sold by the University Bookstore. While we appreciate the liberal attitudes the University often attempts to adopt, we feel that this apparel promotes poor drinking habits and therefore feel it is not in the best interests of the University to make light of, encourage, or profit from the exploitation of poor college drinking habits.
08. Put up the correct spring and fall schedules on the Class Schedules website.
We declare that the Registrar’s office should be organized enough to list the correct semester and the correct classes for that semester on the Class Schedules website. It is unacceptable to encourage students to plan their schedules off of this website and then to change it so close to actual registration due to such a glaring error such as putting up the last spring semester’s schedule instead of the current one.
09. Put scales in the locker rooms at the Rec Center.
Seriously, just buy two freaking scales and throw ’em in the locker rooms. People will be happy.
10. Supply all dormitories and each wing of Wallace with bins for recycling.
We declare that the University of Idaho should take steps to promote recycling by implementing “recycling centers” in all of the dorms. While we recognized that the University is already making an effort to increase campus recycling, we think the effort should extend into the dorms, as we know of many students who hoard their recycling in their rooms only to have nowhere convenient to drop it off. We would be happy to further discuss the logistics of this operation in further detail with whomever you deem in charge of the plan.
Ha.
In much, much lighter news,
HAPPY MILLARD FILLMORE APPRECIATION WEEK!!
And more so,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MILLARD FILLMORE!!
I shall now commence with the run of Fillmore Facts, following last year’s success (oh, and don’t worry. I’m totally making a Flash.)
Fillmore Fact: Millard had the highest number of votes that has ever been accrued by any third party candidate (both prior and since) when he ran in the 1856 election.
Stay tuned for more!
Make it a parade, MAKE IT A PARADE!
You know what I realized walking around in the mall a few days ago? The “popular” fashions today suck. I know, I know, “duh,” you say. But I must, for the sake of my sanity, point out to others the ones that bother me the most:
Chandelier earrings
Particularly those of the variety where crappy, poorly-spraypainted to look like high-end gold wire holds up strings of crappy beads (see picture). The majority of chandelier earrings are pieces of crap that are all basically identical no matter how often manufacturers label them as “unique.” Sure, there are a few exceptions (I’ll show you one when we get back to school, for example) but most suck. End of story.
Those huge sunglasses with the white frames
What the hell?! Are these supposed to make you look attractive? Sure, I guess if you’re trying to attract, say, flies, as the fact that these sunglasses make your eyes look to the same proportion in relation to your body as flies’ eyes do to theirs, I guess if that’s what you’re going for…
Otherwise, stop wearing these pieces of pop-princess-created crap goggles.
Those ghastly “babydoll” tops
Oh my god. I HATE these. Whoever designed this particular style of shirt should be shot. Since when is it attractive to drape yards of fabric around your upper body, completely destroying any shape of a figure you may have, so that you look like a freaking blob of torso? I think the only people these shirts look good on are those who have absolutely no boobs. And these shirts do not show off one’s boobs at all. Really.
The tank tops that go down to your crotch in length
I dub this “the shirt they created to quash protests about really overweight people showing off too much stomach/butt crack when wearing their low-rise jeans” shirt. It appears they had to compensate their making jeans too low by making shirts extra long now. That’s just great, except for the rest of us who are decent enough to wear pants that actually fit and really dislike having tank tops that fit like short dresses. Plus, now all people do is constantly pull these long tank tops down over their butt cracks anyway, a motion which, if repeated every single time a person gets out of their seat, gets really annoying.
The “let’s ruin a perfectly good t-shirt by putting some crappy design or text on it such as Tweety or “Princess” or “I’m a hoe and I felt the need to express it on my t-shirt” style (otherwise known as the “graphic tee”)
Wal-Mart carries a lot of these. They take perfectly good t-shirts that are manufactured in perfectly good colors and tack on a crappy graphic—a skull or a fairy or whatnot—and make it a worthless conformist piece of crap that I for one will not be caught dead in. What’s worse is when they put so-called “witty” phrases on them, such as “Bitch Princess” or “MILF” or “Ron Paul is my homeboy” or “Fuck me” (in Japanese characters, of course). This annoys me to no end. Seriously.
Capri pants
Aside from the fact that they’ll make you look frumpy if you have any body type other than the body of a 5’9, 115 pound model, Capri pants have no real function. Really. If you’re that hot in pants, wear shorts. Or a dress, even. It’s not like you’re going to go wading in water in the city streets, smart one. Capris suck.
Wedge heel shoes
Not only do these make you look like an idiot, they basically prove you’re an idiot, especially when you try to walk on cobblestones, snow, snowy cobblestones, and, hell, every type of terrain save a completely flat basketball court. Come on, people. You live in Moscow. Odds are, you know that it snows here and that campus is not a flat, bump-free terrain. Why, oh why do you women wear these completely idiotic shoes around? I must admit, though, it is a laugh, watching you try to look graceful after nearly snapping your ankle in half because your stupid wedge heel got caught in a crack in the sidewalk.
Fair warning, though—if you’re lying on the side of the sidewalk, crying and whining that you’ve twisted your ankle and I see that you’re wearing these shoes, I’m not going to help you.
The “sneakers that fail to cover 90% of the top of your foot, thus qualifying them as sandals but yet they’re still sold at the full sneaker price (but look on the bright side; the bonus you get is that you look like an idiot!)” sneakers
These are ballerina slippers gone mainstream, and they make your feet look really, really deformed. Plus, they’re freaking expensive, especially for the fact that you’re getting gypped on the product because they carve out an unnecessarily large amount of the top of the shoe to make it “cool.” Just wear sandals if you want to show off your feet so much, okay?
/rant
They do this to me on purpose, I swear
*insert loud, frustrated, utterly-surprised-at-incompetence screams here*
This freaking university. I am often surprised by their lack of competence, but today’s adventures took the cake.
I, being who I am, constantly check the class schedules on a daily basis to make sure nothing’s changed and that everything is still go for my schedule next semester. Up until this point, nothing has been dramatically changed on me. Note the “up until this point.”
So today, I nonchalantly check the class schedules during my little break between geography and philosophy, as I always do. But today, I noticed there was a difference—every single philosophy class’s times and days were switched around. Confused, I refreshed the page several times to make sure there wasn’t mistake. There wasn’t—the philosophy schedule had completely changed. Frantically, I check to see where these new time slots fit in with my previously secure schedule.
Now let’s pause here and reason for a moment. Suppose you’re head of the registrar’s office at a university and are in charge of scheduling time slots for classes. It would make sense, don’t you think, to schedule classes that may conflict for people who have double majors at different times than each other, right? An example of this would be people majoring in, say, microbiology and regular biology. So it would make sense, wouldn’t you say, to schedule psychology and philosophy classes, with a double major of psychology and philosophy being rather common, at different times, correct?
Apparently, this did not occur to whoever designed the new philosophy schedule. The two philosophy classes required for the minor (and thus the major) are scheduled at the exact same time as two psychology classes that are not offered at any other time. Brilliant move, U of I. Brilliant move. What also changed is the statistics schedule, but luckily, this changed for the better. At least, for the moment.
After doing some investigating, I discovered that this genius revision of the schedule so close to registration was due to the rather large mistake by the registrar’s office of putting up last spring’s schedule instead of the new one and assuming that all the departments would realize this and adjust—in due time, before the schedule became available to students—their classes accordingly.
No.
So after rambling on for about four too many paragraphs, the short message is this: recheck your schedules if you’ve already got them charted out, and don’t freaking trust this university.
That is all. I am angry.
I can be quite a dapper young man when I want to be, you know?
Okay, here’s what I don’t get: why am I getting crap for the way I’m approaching my education?
Let me clarify. My goals for my college education include: getting a 4.0, getting a bachelor’s in science, and getting three minors, all in three years. I have had several conversations with several different people about this, and every single one of their reactions were some form of this: “Why don’t you have some fun? What do you think all this stress is going to get you anyway? There’s more to life than grades, you know.”
Yes, I know. I’m aware that there’s more to the college experience than studying for tests and writing papers. I know that once school is over, no one is going to care whether I got a 4.0 or not. I know that there is much more to life than getting good grades, and I know, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not going to matter if I get three minors or if I graduate in three years. These kinds of things are not going to majorly affect my life later on (most likely).
But I’m also aware that it’s rather stupid to judge people based on what they do with their education. And I definitely know that you are in no position to judge me based on my decisions.
However, because nobody really seems to see this from my point of view, I’m going to explain myself here. The goals I am setting in terms of my education are goals myself and myself only. They aren’t for social status, good job standing, or monetary gain later in life. I’m trying to graduate in three years simply because it’s a goal I’ve set for myself so that later when I look back on my life I can say, “hey, I met my goal.”
I know that there are other activities involved in college—parties, social stuff, etc. I get most of my enjoyment from working on school stuff, which is basically why I do it and why I’m taking a lot of credits. That’s something I enjoy. I don’t know how to explain it any better.
Most importantly, though, I don’t think it’s right to judge me on these decisions. I don’t judge others for these things. If someone doesn’t feel like college is right for them, then that’s fine. I won’t judge them any differently than someone who’s going to Harvard. It may sound ridiculous that I’m mentioning these things, but I’ve gotten a couple accusations of being “superior” to others and I just want everyone to know that I do not think that way at all. Period.
So that’s about it. Just a little rant I had to get out of the way.
U of I: the FEMA of universities
You know how I picked on the Honors Society in yesterday’s blog? Well, I’ve realized that it was a rather unfair thing to do. Therefore, I am extending my complaining to two other parts of the U of I. Enjoy.
My main complaint is with the websites. Mainly, the complete disorganization of every single department website. It is ridiculous. There is no consistency from website to website, and 90% of them are no help whatsoever. The English Department’s is entirely disorganized, the Philosophy Department’s was down for about half the semester, and the Statistics Department’s must be the most basic and unhelpful website yet. The only true thorough website I could find was the Psychology Department’s.
The next complaint has to do with whatever idiot made the layout for the summer scheduling. I’ve complained about this on here before, I think, but really…it deserves it again. What kind of moron makes it so that the first session and the second session overlap by about 10 friggin’ days? I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if any classes were offered at times other than 11:30-1:20 and 1:30-3:20, but they’re not! My god, how hard do they have to think to come up with this crap?
“Hey guys, let’s just sit down here and think of the most inconvenient and utterly moronic scheduling system we can, just to confuse and frustrate the student body!”
“Haha, yeah! And after we’re done we can all go down to One World Café and get lattes!”
“OMG!”
Why such incompetence? Why such useless confusion? They need someone who can organize things and make things run efficiently. They need me. I should totally try to get a job here.
Oh wait, last complaint (for now): the heating system in Wallace. I don’t know about you guys on the other floors, but my heating kicked off about two months ago, so it now remains a nice average 56 degrees in my room. Honestly, this is Idaho, people. You’d think the University here would realize that it doesn’t matter if it’s “spring”—it’s not gonna start getting nice and warm till around May, and even then there’s a possibility of snow (it snowed a year or so ago in May, if I recall).
Blog 334: in which the honors society gets it
I have a bone to pick with the U of I Honors Society. A big bone. And it’s not sexual.
So here’s a criterion for staying in the Honors Society once you’re admitted: you must take at least one honors class every other semester. No big deal, right? I mean, what are the odds of not finding an honors class that pertains to either my major or one of my three minors?
Well apparently, these odds are pretty damn big. There’s not a single honors class in any of my fields—that’s FOUR SEPARATE FIELDS—and I find that ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. I find the idea of one honors class per year very reasonable, mind you. Where the reason flies out of the window, though, lies in the fact that there are only, say, six honors classes in total offered every semester. Two of these are 101 classes, meaning that, for people like me, they’ve either been taken or would be a total waste of time. The rest are in microbiology and/or math or they’re upper division courses that, apparently, can’t be taken by freshmen and sophomores.
Please. Come on, U of I. These are ridiculous restrictions for some of us (specifically, those of us who put our major’s priorities over non-related dribble that is needed to stay in an honor’s society).
Basically, it’s either get out in three years or stay in the honors society.
I think you know what I pick.
So unless my minors or my circumstances change, I’ll be “kicked out” of the U of I Honors Society by next fall.
Remind me again why I hate group work? Oh yeah. People suck.
Group work is inefficient, boring, irritating, and utterly pointless. Especially when one is forced into a group of pseudo intellectuals and forced to sit and seethe in anger as they get absolutely nothing done. These are people who can easily rattle off dozens of French phrases and draw comparisons between Gandhi and Kafka but who are about as efficient as a sandpaper sled.
They think they’re so far beyond the classes they’re taking that they can just blow off the review questions and sail by with a 150% in the class. Wrong, you morons. You can spout French proverbs all you want, my friends, but will that help you pass a test in English? Obviously not, considering all three of you failed to get A’s on your last tests.
What’s worse is the fact that they look down upon people who have not been exposed to the things they have and therefore don’t know anything about them. Excuse me if Moscow’s public education is not the same as southern California’s, or wherever you prissy rich jackasses are from. If you’re so far above the rest of us, why are you even in college at all? Why can’t you just walk into the Dean’s office and pick up that PhD now? Oh, wait, I know why—you have to actually do WORK to get it!
Let me tell you something—it doesn’t matter if you know French, understand quantum physics, or know your wine. It is the understanding of new knowledge and material pertaining to the class you’re in that makes you smart, not the fact that you can list off all the Presidents and their wives or can recite the Periodic Table as if you had it in front of you. Be efficient. Be productive. Stay on the subject. Don’t apply crap that is not relevant.
And stop looking down on others who may not have had your rich-ass opportunities. Not everyone can afford private tutoring or have parents that will pay off the teachers to get their kids through 8th grade English.
Wait, did I write that last part down?
Argh! (not the pirate kind, either!)
I’m too damn emotional. Emotions are not rational. I like to be rational. I hate being emotional. Screw emotions.
But I’ve realized that no matter how off the charts I am in terms of being irrational with my emotions, I always get the job done.
And I get it done right, dammit.
I hate when I blog like this.
Stupid emotions. Who needs ’em?
And here are a few more reasons why I hate you all
I have fucking had it with this residence hall and all the people in it (save, maybe, two). For some reason, they all feel it is necessary to keep at least one of their moronic selves in the hallway at all hours of the day, and this person must be ready to stare at anyone who dares enter the hallway. What, is it illegal to walk in the hallways now? They love especially to stare at me, cause I’m “weird” and “quiet.” Well, excuse me if I don’t want to converse with you idiots. From what I’ve heard from your constant screaming and hollering in the hallways at all hours of the night, all your conversations consist of are talking about articles in “People Magazine” and “Cosmo,” trying to dance with really crappy music blaring out for all the world to hear, and people making really stupid, annoying, and repetitive monkey noises. Why this all seems entertaining more than once is far beyond me.
Also, I do not think you have the right to come and bother me in my room when I don’t show up to hall meetings. Fuck your hall meetings. I went to the first one, which was scheduled to last fifteen minutes and ended up lasting three hours, and I’d firmly made up my mind by minute 30 of that meeting that I was not going to participate in meetings that lacked organization, a reasonable clip, and intelligent conversation. Hall meetings, from what I’ve gathered, are optional. You should not—I repeat, should NOT—come to my door every Monday night and ask me to come to the meetings. I won’t. I’m busy, okay? I’ve got better things to do with my time than waste it with you idiots. Unlike you people, I am not here at college to gain friends and to have a blossoming social life. I am here to learn and to get the hell out. So do not get in my way.
To my suitemate: turn the damn radio down, learn how to sing if you’re going to, and stay the fuck out of my room. I know you’ve been in here multiple times when I’ve been at home for the weekend, I have concrete evidence of it, and I am sick of you leaving tracks across my carpet of whatever nasty substances you have coating the floor of your room. You have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT to be in here, and if you do it again, I’ll take hold of the situation. You do not want that.
Okay, that’s about it for now. I’m definitely going to try to get into a “quiet hall” next year, cause this is ridiculous. Plus a hall of all girls has way too much estrogen in it to be healthy for anyone.
Valentine’s Day? No thanks, I already know I’m a loser in the romance department
God, I hate V-Day. It’s just another excuse to push sex and dependency. Plus I don’t have a boyfriend, so I’m bitter.
And I had a psychology test today.
Piss.
Why yes, this IS real courduroy!
“Oh, life sucks…nothing matters…I wish I were dead…I’ll kill myself–not that it matters anyway…”
Shut up, already! HOLY CRAP!
I know I’ve written about five blogs on this already, but it’s really annoying and depressing!
Eigenblogger 