YO YO YO POOP PATROL
Interested in finding a new cool YouTuber to watch? Try Emilia Fart. Her videos kept popping up in my “recommended” list and I was hesitant, ‘cause it looked like another “ZOMG I’M QWERKY” kind of thing, but then I watched a few of her videos and she seems really cool and genuine and weird and someone I’d really enjoy meeting.
She’s in Canada, but on the eastern side, unfortunately.
METS, NO
Mets, why you gotta go trading my favorite dude? Not cool.
I was legit sad when I read that Cabrera got traded. I dig Cabrera. Now he’s with the Phillies, the team against which he had the famous bat flip.
Edit: Did you know Cabrera has one of the 15 unassisted triple plays in MLB history? Now you do!
I’m sad.
Jazzy Again
So Jazzy jumped into Franklin’s old birdcage tonight.
She just swooped in there through one of those doorways. I heard this loud “BANG” like she had jumped on top of the cage, but nope. Inside instead!
I go, “did you jump in that cage??” and she gave out such a confused little holler, haha. But then she jumped right back out.
What a sweetie.
COMPY DEAD, YO
Ugh. So that new laptop I just bought?
Dead.
Died the same way as the first one.
Why is this happening in the busiest part of my freaking year.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Edit: Okay, fuck it, switching brands. Got an Acer. The keyboard feels like Jesus. It’s got an SSD so it starts up in like a nanosecond.
I’m digging it.
Twitt
This is fantastic.
https://twitter.com/FizzySodaWave/status/1021961791130218496?s=20
Sorry, I’m super busy and super stressed and super garbage.
BREAKING NEWS FOLLOW-UP:
I AM STILL TRASH
BREAKING NEWS:
I AM TRASH
lawl
What normal people use the “panorama” setting for:
What I use the “panorama” setting for:
I’m goddamn Ansel Adams.
MUSE, STOP
Oh.
Oh.
Well this is a five-star.
It’s been a while since a song has made me cry. This song made me cry. Not sure why, but it did.
Oof, so good.
HEY NOW, YOU’RE AN ALL-STAR
Dudes, the All-Star game was awesome. I actually don’t remember if we watched last year’s, but this year’s is definitely more memorable if we did.
It’s pretty cool to see all the big stars of baseball come together and play a game that’s not taken too seriously. Especially since we mostly watch NL East teams (due to Mets); it’s cool to see the other top dudes not in the NL East or even in the National League in general, like Trout and Judge and Altuve.
I also like how they mic up some of the dudes and interview them while they’re out on the field.
Yay baseball!
NOW what did I do?
Screwed up my leg again. My knee, more specifically. I was just walking down the hall (because apparently all my injuries happen when I’m just walking like a normal human being) and got this super sharp pain right below my knee cap. Now my knee feels super unstable and it hurts to walk.
Again.
FUCK.
I’m not sure what I did, but here we go again I guess.
Edit: now that it’s been a day or so, this actually feels like that runner’s knee I had in my other leg last year. That pain was on the outside of my knee, this is in the middle/lower part of my knee, but apparently that’s where runner’s knee pain is most common.
Edit again: the more I walk on it, the better it feels. Which is weird. BUT I’LL TAKE IT. I hope the pain completely goes away soon, ‘cause there’s no way in hell I’m doing another year of this “pain while walking” nonsense.
Edit yet again: now the pain’s completely gone. Dafuq.
I’M DOING A SURVEY TO DISTRACT MYSELF FROM HOW MUCH I HATE MY EXISTENCE RIGHT NOW
1) What was your dream growing up?
I always wanted to go to Antarctica. Always. I still do, but apart from becoming a glaciologist or something and going down there for research, I don’t think there’s any other way I could justify it. The more people that go down there, the more damage occurs.
2) What talent do you wish you had?
Not being a useless bag of trash.
3) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
Water, yo. Or Red Bull.
4) What was the last book you read?
Uhhhhhhhhh jeez. I don’t remember. Fun, huh?
5) Worst Habit?
That’s private.
6) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
Sure, but I don’t have a car, so…
7) What is your favorite sport?
BASEBALL BASEBALL BASEBALL
8) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
DIE
9) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
E X I S T E N C E
10) Tell me one weird fact about you.
I can fold my entire outer ear into my ear canal. I do so quite often.
11) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
GET OUT
12) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
E V E R Y T H I N G
13) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
Depends. Are we committing murder or are we going streaking through a park at 2 AM?
14) Ever been arrested?
Nope. Not even close.
15) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
Probably buy three of those $3000 speakers Try to save it. Maybe buy one speaker?
16) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Think. Walk. Do both at the same time.
17) Biggest pet peeve?
You know I’m going to say the sidewalk thing. Why can’t people treat walking like driving and walk ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK? Is this really that difficult of a concept?
18) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Worthless.
19) Do you believe in/appreciate romance?
I appreciate it, yes. I don’t expect over the top nonsense or anything like that, but kind, thoughtful little gestures are great. Nate is fantastic at that, haha.
Big Cats Rule
I am like 800 levels of sad, so here are a few videos of big cats getting snacks and treats.
Those tigers are beautiful.
END
Reeeeeeeeeally not having a good month, y’all.
Not good at all.
So I’m going to bring this back, ‘cause I need its hilarity to keep from jumping off the balcony.
NNNF
Can I inject this song into my veins?
Please?
God, I love his voice.
Dialect
I’m bored and sad, so let’s do some more dialect quizzies. Areas in red are places that pronounce things similar to how I do; areas in blue pronounce things most differently from how I do. Here are the interesting ones to me:
I apparently pronounce “Colorado” like an East Coaster (colo-RAH-do).
Pronunciation of “pecan” (pick-AHN). I blame my Missouri-born mom.
“Syrup” (SEAR-up).
“Route” (rhymes with “out”). Montana has my back on this one.
Woo! Give it a shot here.
MATH?!?!?!?!???!??!!
Sooooooooo hey I might be teaching Math 30 (11th grade math) for the U of C Continuing Education Department.
This has been a “maybe” since like April, but now I think it’s finally set in stone.
Scary? Yes. This was math I missed a lot of when I was in school for various reasons, so I’m not familiar with it at all. It’s going to take a lot of work to get there.
But hey, more teaching experience, right?
[insert stupid title here]
Can this feeling of utter hopelessness be over now, please? I’d like to get back to all the lighthearted whining I usually do rather than “wah, I’m sad” whining.
We like Havarti
Sometimes blogging is hard.
*screams into the void*
That is all.
Miss Susie
For some incredibly random reason, this little rhyme popped into my head this afternoon and I couldn’t get it out.
Did any of you guys ever sing this in elementary school? I remember G.E. and I sang it quite a bit. It was about as rebellious as you could get in a Catholic elementary school.
The “Missouri” version is most similar to what we sang.
Elementary school, man.
huehuehuehue
It’s been more than a year since I’ve posted these damn blogs.
As if anybody gives a shit.
Eigenblogger 